Ch: 189 Lunatic Fringe
Liam made his lurching attempt to stand, but the unstable deck rocked and shot out from under him. White swirling chaos enveloped his entire world, as he fell into the madly crashing water. Falco helpfully nudged him gasping to the surface, lost in the wash and surge, it would be easy to swim down deeper.
“Your board knows where up is bro, trust it.” Gary called from atop his surfboard, waiting for Shai to finish her run. He could have dropped in with her, but watching her rolling swells from the ocean’s rolling swells was really swell. It made other things swell too, so he would need to wait for a couple waves… The kids were boogie boarding in the shallows.
Tawny, Becky, Shai, Angie and Esperanza had picked it up immediately… Khan and Dannyl hadn’t even hesitated, displaying their natural gift for athletics in general. Luna blew those two away with an innate grace and near perfect balance and muscle control.
Liam was struggling… It was probably a mental thing, Gary decided.
He bobbed on the waves beside his friend, speaking quietly and confidentially.
“Is it the depths, bro?” Liam nodded grimly.
“What’s important to remember is this, the shore is fifty yards that way.” He pointed to where Tawny was carving a white plume from her swell, matching her white two piece, white board and gleaming golden everything. “Fifty yards and fifty yards that way and that way. It’s not really the endless sea…” He said, soothing his brother.
“So it’s not actually deep.” Liam sighed with relief.
“Nahh…” Gary sighed in return, relaxing back and lighting his pipe. “It’s deeper than fuck… bottomless.” He mused. “There's something down there… not sure what. Lots of tentacles though.”
Liam sat bolt upright on his board. “A monster?” He asked.
“We don’t use the ‘M’ word here, bro.” Gary scolded. “Hold on, I’ll go ask who it is…” Just like that, he was gone, sinking into the depths, while his board drifted aimlessly.
“Oh shit!” Gary gasped when his head broke the surface a few tense minutes later. Liam jumped off his board, startled almost out of his trunks by the expletive.
“Dude, that’s Lilith! She came to visit! Come on, let’s get out of her way.” Gary called, as he dropped into a wave that appeared at his command. “Falco, tow Liam in please. We have company!”
#
“He really does speak alien squid…” Cameron muttered in concern as his host and his duchess had a discussion with a creature of nightmare. From its pointed, coiled shell, to the forest of sinister, neon pink tentacles that waved from the opening, this creature was terrifying. Most of the ‘toy collector’s broken toys’ were in scattered lounge chairs or on the beach, moonbathing.
Orlando was riding a pink pony with an even more absurdly pink mane and tail in the surf, having a blast. Angie was with the duchess and her new friends, the rest just enjoyed dreaming this strange dream together.
#
“She has to go home, baby. Say goodbye, Amy.” Gary said softly to his sniffling daughter.
“She can come back from time to time, but only when the stars are right, sweetie. It’s an extra planar tentacle thing.” Gary said confidently. “All my research in that area skews… Never mind…” Gary fell silent for some reason.
“So if I learn all about tentsticle creatures, maybe I can find a way for her to visit?” Amy asked excitedly. “I’mma go to the library! I gotta learn all about tenanancles!”
“Marduk, help!” Gary begged, as his oldest child darted off to have her mind ruined.
“Are you… praying, Gary?” Ducky asked, walking around the kneeling lad and smiling divine benevolence onto him.
“I already concealed your hentai… I foresaw this when Lilith arrived. Rise my friend, be at ease.”
Marduk, the light of man’s reason, took Gary by the hand and bid him rise, smiling gently.
“Let this small service be my apology for ‘hanging brain’ at you… I had to look that one up… very, evocative.”
“Aww, Ducks… Thank you so much. Now I’m sorry I imagined you with a teenie weenie peenie for the last few nights.” Gary said as he hugged the small deity.
“That was you? Thirp theorized that they might shrink after use… Eponna did look at me funny when I suggested that was the cause.” Marduk huffed at him and grumbled sourly. “I’d never subject Amy to that filth… but I will find a way to get back at you for this…” He fumed.
“Ducky, baby… it works both ways… go say hi to Eponna, you stud.” Gary said, with an evil smirk. “Don’t let the kids see you… I went a little overboard.”
Ducky looked down at the front of his gauzy white robes and blushed. “Never mind the kids, I can’t let Magnus see this… he’ll develop a complex.” Ducky mumbled, while trying to find someplace to put that thing where he wouldn’t stick out so much.
“Pona, ohh Pona! Ducky has a surprise treat for you!” The tiny god called out into the herd. A rich, sweet whinny answered his call, as Gary fled.
“That’s not a carrot in my robes, Eponna darling…”
#
Two days and nights of relative tranquility followed… Amy, Wilf and Rio, ran and played themselves into early naps at the Adventure compound in the morning, lessons at midday, then home for an afternoon of quiet play.
“Whoooo!!!!” Someone had figured out that they could cannonball off the bedroom balcony into the pool below. Someone who kept barrelling past whooping with joy and excitement…
“Wilf! No more of that! Shai will murder me if she sees…” Gary shouted down into the turbulent, splashing pool.
“I’ll nae murder thee… ye will just wish fer that sweet release boy!” Shai barked from behind him, as her hand swatted his ass briskly, followed by a subtle tushie squeeze that told him everything he needed to know.
“See Wilf, now I’m in trouble… that’s why you should only clown around when the girls are taking care of you. Help me out here buddy.” Gary complained to the dripping boy standing on the lawn below them.
#
Otho came bustling in around fourth bell, smiling and cheerful as always, but there was a strained tension in his eyes. “Where is Gary?” He asked Dannyl, who was playing softly on a stool in the mostly vacant taproom with the kids.
“They’re upstairs, ‘arguing’... they must have a lot to ‘fight’ about.” He mused softly.
“They fight a lot, since Shai joined the panty cult…” Rio murmured quietly. “I don’t want them to fight.”
Wilf leaned over and hugged his older brother solemnly. “Scary.” He grumbled.
Amy sighed a long world weary gust into the room, eyeballing the boys all around. “They aren’t really fightin’…” She confided. “Even though it looks a lot like wrestlin’. Grownups are weird.”
“Yes Amy, they are.” Otho pronounced happily. “I think those two will be able to work out any differences they encounter.” The old priest sat down among the kids and managed to scoop all three into his lap at once.
“Grown ups… and those who are nearly so, often find they need to push and pull each other to reach their goals. These challenges reflect how seriously they take their mission.”
The priest’s voice was warm and soothing, lulling the kids as much as his gentle rocking motion did. “You are their mission, my children. They take you and your happiness deadly seriously. Now perhaps it’s naptime for you three.”
Once the kids were snoozing in their room upstairs, Dannyl and Otho reconvened in the taproom. “Thanks Otho. I’ve been trying to get them to sleep for an hour.” The young Adventurer sighed.
“Shai slipped away with the rest of the girls, it’s a secret meeting of ‘the panty cult’. Don’t tell Amy, she keeps trying to attend.”
He grinned at the old man and winked. “I saw Naiomi lurking upstairs at the Weaver’s and Lacetatter’s guild hall…”
“Oh really! Tell me more!” The old coot gasped, suddenly bright eyed and vigorous.
“They invited me in as a ‘consultant’, since I don’t have the crafts they employ… they do need sketches and drawings though, they are working on something called a ‘catalog’ with pictures, it’s going to be wildly popular, I suspect.”
“I was going to scold you, since clearly I was asking about what Naiomi was doing in those halls, speaking to those purveyors of…” He licked his lips hungrily.
“Delights?” Dannyl offered helpfully when Otho faltered.
“Yes… delights!” Othos said happily. “Now tell me more about this ‘catalog’ thing, pictures you say?”
#
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Shai, Becky, Ivy, Tawny and Angie strolled home down the bright, sunny streets of Wheatford, chatting with Naiomi and Jennah as they walked.
“...been so quiet at home, since the ladies left.” Becky murmured. “Does Gary know why they moved into the palace?”
“I suspect he does not fully understand. The legal system of his home seems quite opaque and occult and he remains deeply suspicious of authority and confinement. Best we step carefully around these issues, you know how he gets.” Tawny gave the high priestess a gentle hug.
“Better yet we should not discuss this on the street.” Naiomi added, smirking at the younger women. “Chattering magpies, the lot of you. Let’s talk about boys!” She clutched her string tied paper parcel and smiled ecstatically as the paper crinkled. There did not appear to be much inside the package at all.
“Your ‘boy’ is probably pollinating the orchids in his office or some other old man stuff.” Becky griped at the venerable healer. “He’s old, is what I’m saying…”
“Becky!” Tawny whispered in a hushed and shocked gasp.
“Oh, really?” Naiomi asked, with a smile that seemed hungry. “Ask Gary about the relative qualities of old growth timber, lass. He’s old and gnarled, it’s true, but my Otho is harder than tree roots, where it counts!” She cackled long and loud, then hugged Becky up in her wiry arms.
She ignored Tawny’s appalled and horrified gasp of distress, in favor of a broad, salty wink at Shai, who giggled in reply.
“I kin tell thee true, an the tree were near dead, yer new ‘merry widow’ may bring him back tae full bloom an vigor. Tell me how well it do work, sister Naiomi, I do need more ‘hardwood’ in me own life.”
Poor Angie flushed bright red and tried to pretend that she was surrounded by sensible, mature women, rather than a gaggle of foolish girls.
#
Gary stumbled downstairs looking ragged and worn out, but very pleased with himself. He flopped down on the couch beside the old priest and grinned.
“Hey, Otho… social call?”
“No, my boy. Business.” He smiled, but it was thin and drawn.
“As your advocate and legal guardian until your majority, I received early notification. You will be summoned to give testimony before the council of lords soon, within the next day or two. Your protest against the indenture system is being taken up by the full council, in a special session.”
“That’s good news, right?” He stared a challenge at the old man, while waiting for more.
“Yes, but there are complications in the legal status of your case…” He paused, gathering his thoughts for a moment. “I did some poking around in your dreamworld over the last few nights. Mostly, I was learning what I could of your legal system, in hopes of explaining ours to you more fully…” He shrugged helplessly.
“Yeah, it makes no sense. Grandpa always said; ‘The law is designed by lawyers, to make sure a lawyer always has a job.’ and that feels pretty accurate.” He grumbled.
“The law took me from a happy kid, to a crippled orphan in jail quicker than a blink. All nice and legal… pretty profitable too, I imagine.” He grinned a wolfish, angry smile at the old man.
“Some things are the same in any universe… but I’m not an injured helpless kid this time. The forces of law and Order need me, I don’t need them. For the first time ever I have some juice, rather than just being the one who gets squeezed.”
“And that is why, as your advocate I am here to explain that while you have some ‘juice’... as you say, the council is a deeply conservative and deliberative body.” Otho smiled sadly at his charge.
“A child who cries and screams might get a slice of buttered bread, but a wise, sneaky orphan will wait quietly for the right moment to swipe the whole loaf… and a pot of jam to go with.”
“Cute, but you got the roles reversed. They want what I have, my gifts, my home, my freedom… my children!” He rumbled furiously on that last, setting the remaining hairs on Otho’s neck to standing straight up.
“…and they want them for no good cause beyond that they have the law on their side.”
“Well, yes, that seems pretty accurate, from a certain perspective.” Otho said softly, soothingly.
“Don’t try to bewitch me old man, you got away with it at first, but I’m stronger now. I won’t be soothed into accepting a collar on vague promises. They don’t just want a loaf, as you say, they want the whole bakery.” He snapped.
“Now Gary… be reasonable…” He realized what he had said a moment too late. “What I meant was…”
“Ohh, Hell No! You and I both suspect that my indenture will be very different from the usual. You think I have any chance if I go into your slave market? You’d never know what happened, just another lost soul. There’s no happy ending for silly Gary, sweet Shai and their darling children, not if we play your game.”
“These are powerful people, accustomed to getting what they want…” Otho sighed, already losing hope.
“Well I’m not accustomed to getting what I want, but I had a taste recently and I like it! Now you are here to what, convince me to submit?”
“No Gary, I’m here to convince you to not sneer, snarl and scoff at the assembled lords and ladies who will decide your fate.” He answered, mildly as he could under the circumstances.
“What kind of fool do… oh, yeah…” He started strong, then deflated sadly.
“I get so… and then I feel like I could…” The young musician made a number of incoherent hand gestures in the open air between them.
“What do you mean lad?” Otho asked softly, leaning close.
“When I had that greasy little… that shade in my power it was really tempting... Let me backtrack.” He pulled a tea service from his butt and poured for them both.
“I have this thing, it’s what makes most of my gifts work the way they do. My aura, rather than clinging close in public and radiating out in private, as most beings’ do… it gets a little grabby. Like, ‘Tentacle Monster On Bikini Beach’ grabby, I have to restrain it sometimes, especially when it encounters a similar, hungry, grasping force…” He frowned unhappily.
“That dude wanted to eat me, devour my living essence and power, to become a lord of the undead. His own hungry, grasping shade told me that, before we came to grips physically. It woke up something in me that I had put to sleep, something ravenous and dark.”
“That sounds troubling. How can I help?” Otho squared up and tried to take control, only to lose it immediately.
“You can only help by not letting them push me into a corner. If I don’t have a path to victory, I’m gonna flip the table and burn the game board. You’ve only met the fool, devil and the hanged man are still waiting to appear.”
“You seem to be managing quite well…” Otho muttered lamely.
“I won’t be reasonable or flexible on this Otho.” He poured more tea with a grimace of anger that he wrestled back with some visible effort.
“Where would your fair Wheatford be, without me here, Otho? If we hadn’t stepped up and started stomping monsters with the gang?” He asked gently.
“Groundragon poop, along with Flintspire? Maybe. Buried under an avalanche of sweaty demon scrotum? Absolutely. You aren’t fool enough to think that those were sent for me… are you?”
“What do you mean boy?” Otho demanded, sweat glistening on his brow.
“It probably took at least a year to feed those groundragons up… most likely by summoning in outsiders to feed them. Sick bastards… I only got here, in fucking midsummer…” The musician smiled, as Otho did the math.
“That would mean…” The old priest trailed off, looking thoughtful.
“Yeah, this region isn’t producing, so the farmer wants to plow it under. We are the crops.” He smiled grimly. “I’m the rock he keeps breaking his plow on, so I have to be removed.”
“That does represent a formidable argument… but the council is not comprised simply of the nobles of Wheatford. The Twelve Duchies have agreed to meet in a special session, facilitated by the large number of members present here for the wedding.” Otho shook his head slowly.
“These are deep waters indeed. The indenture trade is not simply a matter of law, much of the economy is rooted in the indenture system and War, as a whole. We are tugging at a tangled weave, but how much will unravel?” The old man rubbed his shorn head and sighed.
“Grandpa was a punk rocker, he said that you can take on the whole world, you just gotta kick it in the balls while it’s not expecting it.” He sat back and sipped his tea calmly. “I kicked the world in the balls a few months ago, it just hasn’t doubled over yet.”
Otho frowned and sipped his own tea. “Delightful! One of Liam’s blends?”
“You know it.” Gary sipped again, with a pleased sigh. “He’s the one who came up with our… Violet Salve. I hate the new name. I was making duskmoon bean natto…”
“How exactly, did you ‘kick the world in the balls’, my boy?” He asked gently.
“Liam touched iron rank last night. That torc bound his last Contract; now a little more cultivation and he’s there. Some of his gifts have really started to manifest now that he’s visiting the other side.” He answered instead.
“Your personal dreamworld is very compelling as well, I see it now, that second moon you talked about. I see it wandering the sky, that’s where we went, was it not? Looking down on this world from that terrible… Height? Distance? Gulf?” He stumbled to a stop when words failed him. “Is that how the gods see the world?” He muttered sadly.
“Oh no, they have a totally different perspective, it’s pretty freaky actually.”
He sparked up his pipe for a quick blaze while the kids were napping and the womenfolk were out. He passed to Dannyl, while his scalp was still shrinking. “Oh, wow! Headband…!” Gary gasped, from inside a drifting cloud.
“What I’m saying is…” He continued, with red rimmed and deeply squinted eyes. “The fait is already accompli, the grapes of wrath are coming home for the holidays… wait? Who has snacks?”
“You have snacks, Gary, you always have snacks. That’s why we let you hang around.” Dannyl reminded his brother with a consoling pat on the shoulder.
“Yeah… well I’d better keep pulling my weight around here, or I’m out.” The two boys giggled with their foreheads together for a few long seconds; until Otho coughed in adult disapproval. That venerable elder had noticed that the women of the household had returned and were dissatisfied by what they found cluttering up the taproom.
“Oh gods, they’re smoking…” Becky moaned. “Liam really needs to chill, they look really stupid right now.”
“Otho, you were supposed to be prepping him for the council… not sitting together like a sack of smoked nuts!” Naiomi hissed.
“Ohh, I have some webnut brittle in the pantry… it’s maple glazed!” Ivy cheered, as she flopped down on the couch and grabbed the pipe from Otho’s slack grasp.
Shai was already rooting around for more snacks in the kitchen. “Aye, an sweet brown molasses bread tae go with!”
Naiomi continued to whispershout at her smoked out husk of a husband. “...silly goose, you know what’s at stake, you old fool.”
“But Gary says he kicked the whole world in the ballsack…. The whole world’s balls, all in one sack…!” He chuckled in stoned amusement. “Really, he brought out that pipe and I don’t remember much after that.”
“We smoked some and you kept asking what a ‘panty cult catalog’ would look like. You seem pretty interested… in young girls’ panties.” Dannyl supplied helpfully. “Keep an eye on this one, Naiomi.”
“Gods preserve my poor soul…” Otho moaned piteously, while tucking his wife comfortably under his arm with a smile on his face. “But Gary was just explaining how our collective genitals met his big, metaphorical boot.
The big musician sat back with Shai and smiled happily. “So let me draw you a picture: I bumble into town almost a year ago, a dewy eyed misfit, lost in the world. Suddenly, I’m indentured to the state for the ‘care’ I never agreed to, nor received from you. That’s bullshit.” He shrugged and went on.
“Where I come from, they front load the misery and punishment, then dump us into the world alone. Different strokes and all that, but I already paid my dues ahead of time.” He looked around for any disagreement.
The elder priestess of Dana the Healer sighed and spoke to the poor sod. “Yes, it is inhumane and immoral and in your case, you have a unique standing to demand your grievance be heard. That is why you have this slender straw to grasp at. If you had contested your own indenture only, you would almost certainly have prevailed and gone free. The greater fool you.” Naiomi grumbled.
“So now I have to convince a bunch of powerful, wealthy, privileged people; who control all the levers of power, to throw a brick into their own machine and smash the gears.” He said softly. “I must be crazy. If I lose, I lose the whole pot, and the game is rigged against me.”
“So why are you smiling, you clod?” Ivy demanded.
“Let’s talk about the upcoming case, cause they are gonna be arguing and bullshitting around mine until I blow away to dust again. I’m too old to wait around and too young to not be impatient, so I rigged the game right back. Exploits baby.” He grinned stupidly. “I totally didn’t make any sense.”
“Ok, so that wasn’t just me?” Dannyl asked quietly. “That made my brain hurt.”
“Liam…” Gary said soberly. “When he goes to auction this autumn they will sell him to the highest bidder, then what happens?” That chilled the mood, as taboos clashed with smoldering herb in the intimate, stoned gathering.
Naiomi sighed and decided to take it on, head first.“He will be taken to the temple of War, the auction will take place at dawn and by evening he will be Contracted and… wait…”
“She’s getting it…” Gary smirked happily. “Otho said if we got to journeyman rank in the guild we couldn't be indentured, but I guess that’s just like the lottery where I come from; bait to distract people and give them an astronomically improbable hope. Nobody ever considered fully Contracted orphans, cause what even are those?”
Gary sighed happily. “As far as the law and tradition is concerned. Liam is a grownup, iron ranked, fully contracted nobleman, who happens to not have living parents.” He chomped into a thick slice of dark, sticky bread with a smile. “They can all fuck right off on a pogostick.”
“I’m one Contract from iron rank…” Ivy whispered softly.
“I’m gonna Contract with Joy tonight, you should come with me, Angie.” Becky whispered breathlessly.
“Gary, how long have you been stewing on this thought?” Otho demanded angrily.
“Why do you think I funded the Orphan’s league so lavishly? Why do you think I insisted on education reforms? Why did you think I insisted that all the children use the baths and the town kids be encouraged to come play on the fucking, gosdsdamned skate park I built in the back fourty?” He asked quietly.
“Really? Impossible!” Naiomi spat, furious at the japing rascal and unsure exactly why.
“I was just trying to make us a part of the town at first, so they would see us as people instead of livestock. The rest just sorta grew organically, as my plot and powers expanded in scope. When the first Contract popped up in the orphanage, I knew I’d found my cheatcode.” He smiled wide and brightly, in pure unalloyed happiness.
“Every unContracted person who’s been in my bath will be touched eventually, by one of the spirits, gods or entities of the pantheon.”
He sipped his tea with satisfaction, even though it had gone cold; Liam knew his stuff.
“Who says I can’t keep a secret? I am the fucking cult of Secret.”
#