We head south quickly, turning onto East Main Street, toward the central plaza. When I ask, Eryk says we're going to get me ready to meet my instructor. That... doesn't exactly answer my question though...
Before we go too far down toward the central plaza, we turn once more to enter the central district. We only make a few turns as we keep going. I sleepily watch the buildings grow larger and more brightly decorated, wondering to myself, have we reached the southern district? Chisa keeps an eye on us from high overhead though, so based on our position, I think we're... somewhere between the two? It's hard to tell exactly where one ends and the other begins when everything looks so bright and fancy. And then we suddenly stop at one of the large buildings.
"We're here," Eryk says while walking right up and opening the door without even knocking. Where are we? John carries me in behind him. The first thing I see are the high ceilings and wide entryway.
"Master Eryk, I see you have returned. Your clothes are dirty, would you like a fresh set?" I can't see who's talking past Eryk, but it sounds like a woman. But the way she's speaking... is this Eryk's house?!
"In a bit. Is the bath drawn?" I shake myself a little to wake myself up some.
"Yes, they should be finishing up now."
"Good, see to my guest." He waves John forward. As soon as he steps around Eryk, I finally get a better view of the room.
It's huge! The wooden floors are so smooth, and the walls are all painted in light, pleasant colors. There are small candles mounted on the walls all around, but the multiple large glass windows along the left hand wall let in so much light that it's bright inside even without the candles lit. However, I don't get to look around much beyond that because my attention is drawn to the woman who was talking to Eryk. She's not too old, probably in her late twenties. She has kind of reddish, curly hair that I don't see too often, and a couple freckles. She has a round, cute looking face, but her smile immediately turns stiff when she looks at me. She doesn't say anything though, and just walks through an open doorway in the right hand wall of the room.
John keeps carrying me as she leads us through the house. We pass through a few different rooms, all decorated with pretty paint, candles, little metal trinkets, or colorful hanging cloths. Carpets cover the floors in some rooms, while others are bright and shiny wood. It's dizzying and I'm too tired to follow much of it, but we arrive at our destination quickly. A room where the floor is made of stone rather than wood. The walls are painted a light blue, almost like the sky. A large open window on the left hand wall floods the room with light and fresh air.
He mentioned a bath, so this must be the room. I wonder why rooms with baths all have stone floors? Two more women stand in the room. The first catches my eye because she's big. Like, big and wide and tall. I think she's even taller than John! Not to mention, she's walking right up to us while speaking in a loud voice almost like she's shouting.
"Don't tell me we're supposed to be cleaning up this brat!" I recoil a little at her immediately overbearing presence. But my eyes are drawn away from her when the other woman behind her flinches too. But then I'm pulled right back to her again when the woman guiding us speaks up.
"No, Kristene, we'll leave that to Selena. Please go wash the foyer."
"Sure, sure," the other woman, Kristene, says while pushing right past John in the doorway and walking off at a brisk pace. I'm too tired, have no idea what to make of that woman...
Looking back to the remaining two women, I finally notice that they're both wearing the same black colored clothes. They're similar to the extremely dark clothes that Eryk wears, but they have bright colored, near-white frills along the sleeves and at the bottom hems of their dresses.
They're one piece dresses, like the ones Marrianne had me wear. Longer than the uniforms I remember on the women who washed the rail units, going down just below the knees instead of being extremely short. The frills look pretty similar, despite the different color. They have matching black shoes too.
"I'll attend to Master Eryk now," the first woman says while I'm still staring blankly at her shoes, before leaving as well. The last remaining one, Selena, just stands, staring at the floor.
"Guess I'll leave her to you." John says while gently setting me down on my feet.
"Y-yes, of course..." Selena responds, though her voice is obviously trembling, barely a whisper. It makes John look a bit concerned, but he just nods at me before leaving as well.
And that leaves me alone with this woman, who I guess is supposed to help me bathe? I try to rub the sleepiness from my eyes. Then I take a step forward while looking at her, but stop short. Taking my first good look at her-
She is beautiful.
Before, I thought Kathy, working at the glassblower's shop, was the prettiest person I'd seen. But that's nothing compared to this woman. The well fitting uniform shows off her curvy figure, and something about her face just screams beauty. I don't even know how to describe it very well, since I'm not all that familiar with what makes someone look good or bad.
But I just know, instinctively, that this is an incredible looking woman. She's young too, somewhere between fifteen and twenty. Her skin is so pale I feel like it should be worrying, but it's still really pretty anyway. She looks too good. It's weird.
Still, something about the way she's standing without looking at me is odd. Her posture and the hunch of her shoulders, like she's really uncomfortable. I nervously walk up to her. She takes a few slow breaths, half turned away, before she finally looks at me. I stare up, meeting her gaze.
"Your eyes are so blue." I speak automatically. I've never seen anyone with eyes this color before. Everyone has brown eyes, so her blue ones are completely unique. I had no idea people could have eyes like that.
She immediately squeaks and jumps away, backing up into the corner of the room while visibly trembling, panicked breath coming in gasps. "I-I'm sorry!" I stammer out an apology without even understanding why. I can't help it, she looks so scared!
I take a half step forward, but stop when she turns her face toward the corner of the room and squeezes her eyes shut.
That look of terror... it finally clicks in my tired mind. She didn't figure out I'm a rail unit, did she? With just one look? No way! I immediately start backing away, one slow step at a time. That can't be possible. But I speak anyway.
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you, I'm not dangerous!" I say, putting my hands up like I surrender. What am I supposed to do? I end up backing right into the far wall.
We stand just like that for a few very long moments. What am I supposed to do if she figured it out? No, if that's the case, then there's nothing I can do.
Eventually, her gasps level out, but the shaking doesn't stop. She peeks away from the corner to look at me. Slowly, she she turns back toward me again. She looks at me, taking a few deep breaths, like she's trying to calm herself down.
"I'm very sorry, miss..." she speaks so quietly that it's hard for me to hear, even with my good hearing, from right here in this small room. "I'll... wash you..." She's practically whispering to herself.
I have no idea what is happening right now. Does she know? Does she not? I'm reminded of when I first told Emily, that absolute terror. I take one slow, gentle step forward after another, trying my best not to frighten her anymore.
I stop when I get over near the tub. I glance at it a little, but it's really hard to tear my eyes away from the beautiful, terrified woman. It looks like it's made of smooth stone, like the rest of the room, with a haze of heat rising off the surface to show that the water filling it is hot.
"I'll... get undressed..." I mumble, still moving slowly. I remove my clothes, setting them carefully on the floor next to me and drop my bag and coins with them, then start to work on my bandages. I sit down on the floor. It's kind of cold and sends shivers up my back, but I just try to ignore it while I work to get the knot out of one of the bandages going up my leg. It's hard though. Between the fatigue and stress, I feel heavy and sluggish. Then the woman is suddenly right in front of me, kneeling down. I forcibly suppress my urge to flinch when I notice her so I won't make any sudden movements.
"What happened?" she asks, still in a whisper. For the first time, I see concern mixed with her fear.
This time, it's me that can't meet her eyes. "I got hurt," I whisper back.
"I see..." Without saying anything else, she starts to help me remove my bandages. She is still trembling, and it only gets worse as more of my torn up skin is revealed. Once we've taken off all the bandages, I glance at her again. Her eyes are glassy, like she's going to cry at any moment. Actually, I think I already see a few tear stains down her cheeks. Gently, she guides me over to the side of the tub.
Seriously, what is going on right now? Still utterly confused, I climb over the side, into the tub. It's not like the one the rail units used. It's much smaller, standing up in the middle of the room with hot water filling it. Even at my size, the water only reaches my waist. I gulp.
"W-wait." I speak up. She's still so frightened, I have to warn her. "I'm afraid of water. I-I'm sorry if I scare you." I gesture for her to back up a little, before beginning to sit down in the water. I sink bit by bit, trying to mentally prepare myself, keep myself calm. Tell myself that the water is hot and feels really nice. It helps, but not enough. I shake and shudder uncontrollably when the flashbacks hit.
Despite my attempts not to scare her, my convulsions send Selena running away again.
"I'm sorry," I apologize as soon as I'm in control again, while still shuddering." I take deep breaths and try to keep myself calm. "The doctor told me to make good memories in the water to overcome my trauma, but it's really hard when it's like this every time." I keep talking to try and help her calm down too, even as I fight down the urge to lose control. Eventually, Selena returns to the side of the tub.
"I see..." she whispers. I can still feel her hands trembling, but she gently rubs my head anyway.
The bath passes painfully. Selena starts washing me with soap and wiping me down with a wet rag, but every time I can't suppress my flashbacks anymore, it sends her running away to the corner of the room where she whimpers in fear for a while, leaving me to tiredly attempt to scrub myself. I have no idea why Selena is so terrified all the time, but I'm just making it worse for her too because I can't control myself better. How do I make good memories like this?!
I'm already so tired, having uncontrollable seizures is using up what little energy I have left. Eventually, I'm so tired that I just close my eyes.
After weeks of sleeping with a ton of earth mana, I'm totally unprepared for the nightmares. It feels like moments before I'm screaming in terror and sending water splashing out of the tub in every direction as I flail and the bath water and flashbacks are only making it all worse. I desperately climb over the side of the tub, landing painfully on my hands and knees on the stone floor. Despite my fatigue, my heart is hammering in my chest and I'm panting.
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I'm really out of practice at dealing with my nightmares. I'm still trembling when the first woman comes running into the room. I vaguely realize that it must be quite a sight. Me on my hands and knees, and Selena curled up in a ball in the corner. What a pair we make...
"I can't believe this..."
"I'm sorry, Irene." Selene mutters and apology once she has stopped crying in the corner.
"And you, don't tell me that peasants can't handle baths," she chastises me.
"I'm really sorry, I'm afraid of water and I'm too tired to stay awake, but I have nightmares when I fall asleep..." I press my head to the floor as I keep apologizing. I would generate earth mana, but it isn't safe with people around...
"Yeah yeah, back in the tub," she doesn't even acknowledge my apology. "Master Eryk told us to get you clean."
With a determined nod, I get back in the tub, it sends me into painful convulsions again, but I just endure it.
"Come on now..." Irene sighs. She starts to wash me quickly, scrubbing me with the soap and hot water. It's actually pretty painful all cut up like this, and the pain ends up triggering more flashbacks than normal. All I can do is fight to endure them. "So what are you, an illegitimate child or some such?" she asks casually as she works.
"What's an illegitimate child?" I ask, gritting my teeth and fighting back another spasm, trying to let the conversation keep my mind off the water.
"It refers to a child conceived outside of wedlock," she explains. Of course I don't know those words either.
"What do 'conceived' and 'wedlock' mean?" But then I have another episode, thrashing in her hands until I can bring myself under control again.
She frowns at me, making me lower my head and apologize, before she explains, "'conceived' refers to a woman becoming pregnant, 'wedlock' refers to a man and woman who are married." Oh, those words I do know. Wait, she thinks I'm Eryk's child?!
"No no no no!" I immediately shake my head repeatedly. "I work with Eryk!"
"What?" she gasps, "at your age?"
"I'm a third party contractor," I try to explain it since she looks so doubtful.
"How old are you?"
"Seven." When she gives me that look, I angrily insist, "I'm really small for my age!" When I hear a whimper, I spin around to see Selena curled into a ball again.
"I'm sorry, Selena, I didn't mean to scare you," I apologize, but I don't know how much it helps. And then the surprise from that topic wears off, and I remember the water again.
As soon as I stop thrashing, Irene sighs. "Stay still! And don't humor her, she's in one of her moods."
No, that's completely wrong. It took some time to figure out, but I recognize it now. She has the look of someone who has been tormented. It reminds me of how I was, back when Marrianne first picked me up. If she's anything like I remember being, what she needs is comfort and love. But will she really be able to get something like that? Not to mention, whatever torments her might not be something that can be helped the same way Marrianne saved me. I have no idea since I've never met anyone like this before.
I want to ask her about it. I want to give her a hug and tell her it will be fine. But I'm stuck in this bath with Irene painfully scrubbing at my torn up skin, nearly too tired to move. Maybe I'll mention it to Eryk when I have a chance...
The next thing I know, the nightmares return and I'm screaming and thrashing again. I can still feel the icy water rushing into my lungs, choking me to death. But a pair of arms is wrapping around me, trying to restrain me as I fight for air. "Come on, stop fighting!" I finally recognize that the stern voice is Irene as she lifts me out of the bath. A moment later, she has me thrown over her knee. "Stop being a bad girl!" she commands and starts spanking me.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" I stammer. I didn't mean to make her so angry!
"Then why won't you behave?" she questions me harshly.
"I'm trying!" As I desperately try to explain, Eryk appears in the doorway.
I look up to meet his gaze.
"I'm sorry, Eryk. I don't know if I can do this!" I start to cry. "I'm trying! I'm really trying but I don't think I can make any good memories like this!" For a few long moments, the only sounds are my sobs mixing together with Selena's.
Then Irene turns and says, "Master E-" but cuts short.
I look up again, to see a brand new expression on Eryk's face. It's... despair. Leaning against the doorway, he slides down to sit on the floor. A long silence follows.
"I don't get it." He stares at the wall and speaks like he's talking to himself. "Have I lost my mind? Why can't anyone else see what I see?" He sits for a bit longer, then, "Hey, Irene. What do you think of Aria?"
"This girl? If you would permit me to speak plainly, she seems to be a troublesome child with no self control."
"Selena? What do you think?"
After a long, shuddering breath, she answers. "She's been hurt... But she's kind."
"Ahh. I suppose you're both right in your own ways. But you know what I see?" He slowly turns his head to look into the room again. And even though he's addressing them, he meets my eyes. "I see a girl with incredible promise, buried under a mountain of pain and suffering. Enough to break a normal person. But she's struggling forward anyway. And for some reason, everyone else is completely blind to it. Even herself. Why do you think that is?"
I am? Blind to what?
"I... couldn't say..." Irene answers haltingly.
"Every step I take to try and help her, it's nothing but roadblocks thrown in my path. Even the smallest things, like getting her clean. This should not be that difficult."
"Master, it is her own fault that this is difficult," Irene says.
"And why is that?" he asks with a pained smile.
"Because she won't stay still so I can wash her properly. She's been fighting and screaming the whole time." Eryk doesn't respond for a while.
Then it's Selena who speaks up. "Because she's afraid of water and has nightmares..." she says quietly from the other side of the bath.
"And she's too tired to stay awake because I made her do something unreasonably difficult at work," Eryk adds, a hand head to his forehead.
"But those are just childish excuses, sir!" Irene argues.
"Maybe they are, but she is just a child. And she's trying harder than anyone. When she talked to the doctor, Aria asked her how she could stop being afraid of water. You know what she said? 'Make good memories in the water and it'll help ease the pain.' The first thing she said to me before was that she's trying, but she can't do it like this. Can you really blame her?"
Looking down at her hand, Irene mutters, "I suppose not."
He looks over across the room. "Say, Selena. Do you think you can try washing Aria again?"
It still sounds like she's curled up on the other side of the tub when she answers, "Yes, Master Eryk."
"Aria, do you think you can keep fighting long enough to stay awake?" Even sitting through this short conversation makes me feel like my consciousness is going to fade away again, but I answer with determination anyway. "I'll try as hard as I can."
"Good. Irene, come get some more hot water for the bath," Eryk instructs. He slowly pushes himself back up to his feet, looking more like the confident Eryk I know.
After sliding me off of her knee, Irene answers, "Yes, sir," and follows him out of the room.
I slowly rise, circling around the tub. Selena is still lying on the floor. I kneel down next to her while she stares at me. "I'm really sorry, Selena. I didn't mean to scare you. I'll keep trying as hard as I can to endure, do you think you can try with me?" I ask, holding my hand out. She hesitates, but eventually takes my hand, and I give her a light pull back up to her feet. I nod, then step back into the tub. As I sit back down in the water, I shudder and jolt from the feeling.
"Eep!" Selena squeaks in fright, but she doesn't run this time. With shaking hands, she comes over and begins to wipe me down with soap and water again. It still stings a lot, but she's not rough like Irene was, so it's easier to endure. Still, I can only take so much before the memories force their way out again and I'm left choking on imaginary water. Selena yelps in fear and ducks at the edge of the tub, but once more, she manages to stand her ground. Once I've recovered, I gently pet her head.
"Good job. We can definitely do this together!" I encourage her. From that point on, it's a very strange bath. Selena encourages and comforts me, speaking in a barely audible whisper, until I'm overcome by my fear. Then I comfort her until she recovers from hers. We end up repeating this process a few times as she works to wash me. At the same time, I continue my battle against sleep so I don't pass out in the tub again.
Irene comes back at some point to refill the tub with some more hot water, which helps a lot after I splashed so much out. Once she's washed my body, Selena gets to my hair, scrubbing it out. Unlike my skin, this actually feels good, and I can sort of relax a little, which helps even more to keep me from giving into my fear of the water.
"Good good," she mutters as she rubs my hair. I smile a little. I guess these are the good memories I was looking for.
Unfortunately, I'm not able to hold out against sleep all the way to the end. I guess when I finally relax a little, sleep takes me. But the nightmares hit not long after and I'm flailing and fleeing from the tub again. Once more, I end up shaking on all fours.
"I'm sorry, Selena," I apologize, "I'm sorry. I couldn't stay awake." Slowly, I crawl over to where she's whimpering against the wall.
"I'm sorry too," she murmurs
"Come on, let's try again, we're almost done," I encourage her once more, and we go back to the tub to finish. We continue our strange back and forth until I'm finally clean head to toe, even my hair. Unfortunately I'm still cut up head to toe as well, so once I get out of the bath, Selena has to wrap me in fresh bandages. I keep fighting with everything I have as she gently winds them up each arm. It stings as they touch my wounds, but I keep telling myself over and over how much Selena cares and how scared she is too as she works. When we're finished, I see that my clothes have been taken away already. So my coins are gone...
We walk out of the bath room, and I'm pretty much leaning on her for support. We make it back to the front room where Eryk is waiting. As soon as Eryk's attention turns to us, Selena stiffens up next to me.
As he looks at us, he sighs. "That took a lot longer than I expected... And Aria's shot already. We're going to have to change our plans. Selena, could you take Aria's measurements?
With a slight tremor, she answers, "Yes, Master Eryk." She starts to lead us slowly toward another room, before Irene comes up and hands her something, saying something about not taking all day. Selena immediately cringes as Irene walks away, so I wrap my arms around her leg and hug her.
"It's fine, I'm ready. What do we do now?" I ask sleepily.
I hear her take a deep breath before she answers. "I wrap this around you and write down the measurements."
"Wow, you can write? That's really cool," I giggle.
"I-it is?" she asks uncertainly.
"Yeah, no one where I live knows how to read or write. I can't either, so that's really amazing," I say.
"I see..." she responds, but she actually smiles just a little. Seeing any sort of happiness on her kind face immediately puts me at ease.
After that, I stand still, moving however she asks so she can wrap the tape measure around me. Selena finishes quickly. She puts the thing she wrote the measurements on over on a table, then scurries back to me while Eryk goes to the table to pick it up. Eryk quickly directs everyone around, but it's hard to focus on what he's saying. Something about dressing and sizing and something.
It vaguely reminds me that I'm still wearing nothing but bandages, but despite what Emily told me about wearing underwear, no one here seems to care.
Maybe because I look like a four year old to rich people...
I really want to get bigger soon...
And then I'm waking up screaming again. It takes a moment to realize I actually fell asleep standing up, before I stagger over toward Eryk. "I'm sorry, I'm too tired," I say. It's hard to see straight, I've definitely pushed myself too far. I'm supposed to meet my instructor after this? Will it really work out when I'm so tired?
But I think I'm already falling asleep again, because I have a vague feeling of someone holding me, their soft arms wrapping around me gently. I cling to them, to their warmth, trying to protect myself from the nightmares. It's so much worse than I remember before the battle. I can't stop shaking as pain and death comes back all at once.
It's so hard I can't even pull myself away and look through the eyes of Maven and the others. I feel like I'm trapped, with only this thin barrier standing between me and everything that haunts me. One wrong move, and it all comes down.
But for now, it's my protection. I hold tight to it and sleep.