The moon rises. Then it falls. The first bits of orange begin to touch the eastern sky from the bottom of the canyon, so it's probably already after sunrise. The lele fruit should have worn off by now, but I haven't woken up. I'm vaguely aware of my mind again, though I'm still unconscious, most likely due to my injuries. That's probably a good thing, the pain would be crippling if I were to actually wake up now. Bit by bit, the wounds are starting to heal, but I'm also slowly approaching my limits. No matter how much mana I use to force them back, there's only so much my small body can take. My life is beginning to slip away. I redouble my efforts, honing my control as much as I can. Focusing the earth mana on the worst injuries. Pushing and pulling the fire mana with each pulse to help my heart keep beating.
Even with all five of the animals taking turns, keeping up the treatment takes every drop of their energy. The sun rises overhead, the summer heat beating down on the small woodland creatures. They aren't built for heat like this, outside the shade of the forest. There's water to drink from the river, but no food in the middle of this wasteland. How long will they be able to keep this up before they are too weak themselves? It could be days, if my body somehow manages to last that long, though that doesn't look likely.
As the sun begins to fall, my pulse falls with it, becoming slow and weak. Most of the injuries have at least started to close, just enough that the bleeding has mostly stopped, but do I have enough strength left? I can feel my skin beginning to cool to the touch. Even if I do last the night, I don't think the hobins will. Brom is bigger and can probably go a little longer, but not by much. I have to send someone out to look for food. So I choose Maven and he heads back to the canyon entrance once more. He can't see far at his size, but my best bet is probably the mountains to the west. I remember seeing somewhat more forested areas in that direction, but nothing of note to the east. He runs along the south side of the canyon, heading west. But clouds are quickly blowing in, it looks like rain.
At his size, it takes a long time to travel. At least the bright summer sun has passed behind the rolling clouds, the temperature dropping as the day draws towards its end. But Maven is already really tired, so he can only manage a sort of quick, struggling pace. It's been almost a day since he last ate. When he looks up, there are more birds in the sky than yesterday. Brom notes that a lot of those are likely scavengers. It's been a while since the rail units died, so they are probably being picked clean by now. The thought of that happening to 8C makes me sick, but at this rate, I don't think I'll even be able to save myself. I don't have it easy enough to worry about those that have already died.
Maven continues to tiredly run for a while. The birds eventually retreat as the rainclouds grow darker. Soma and Kiara switch places treating me, Soma collapsing into a heap, completely spent. When the sun begins to reach the western mountains, Maven finally arrives at the low brush below them, just as the first drops of rain begin to fall. Even so, he searches a while before finding some low hanging berries. They aren't familiar, his only option is to try them. Thankfully, they are edible, so he quickly eats his fill, before gathering as many as he can carry.
It's another, even more exhausting journey back, in the rain, taking most of the night since he can't even run. Meanwhile, at the bottom of the canyon, the rain falls lazily. We're all thankful it isn't a bad storm, and the canyon walls shield us from the worst of it. But the slow descent of rain washing over my body doesn't seem to be helping, so Brom has to do his best to shield me from the rain. By the time Maven makes it back, Brom has taken over after Kiara, and is about to pass off to Baan. The hobins slowly munch on the berries bit by bit, to conserve the small amount of food they have. We consider giving me some, but no one has any idea if they're actually edible for me, so we decide not to. The food doesn't help Brom either, he's a predator. After leaving treatment to Baan, he flops hungrily down to sleep, sliding up against my side for warmth.
With at least a little food, the hobins continue to work through the night. But no matter how much they try, my pulse is slowly fading. When the sun begins to rise the following day, the rain lets up. My heart has slowed to a rate so slow, it's a wonder that it's enough to keep me alive. My breath comes in sluggish, shallow pants. But I've made it through one more night. While inspecting the wounds, it looks like the bleeding has stopped. But with the way my pulse keeps slipping, I must not have enough left to keep this up, even with the constant mana treatment.
The berries Maven collected run out around the middle of the day, even with the hobins barely nibbling at them. And despite his larger size, Brom is quickly fading too, since he can't eat berries like they can. Leaving my body in the hands of Soma, Kiara, and Maven, Baan and Brom head out this time. Since there are quite a few birds in the sky again today, Brom thinks he might be able to catch one. They split up and go for more food, while I keep focusing on making sure I manage all of the mana inside my body. It's a strange feeling, having most of my attention on it even while my mind is also split across a number of different creatures. At least by switching from one to another, I can keep from completely running out of energy as I work. Time slowly passes, the sun sinking once more.
While Kiara is working, I can feel it. The last of my strength, desperately clinging to life, too scared to die, is beginning to give out. No matter how much harder I try, it just keeps fading. I've hit my limit. I keep pushing with the fire mana, but my heart just won't keep beating. The thumps grow further and further apart. Then, even after pushing, it just won't beat anymore. I can feel the life leave my own cold body.
Out in the field, both Brom and Baan stop. Just standing. Maven and Kiara lean over my body, but Soma is still too exhausted to even move. After all of that, I couldn't do it. I couldn't survive. I knew it. I reach inside, finding all of my mana beginning to flow out of my mana well. Without my life, without my will, it just... floats away. The amount is stunning, but it's all just flowing away. I futilely try to hold it back, but it's no use. There's too much to catch it all, and nowhere to put it, now that I'm dead.
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I'm dead.
I repeat the unimaginable words over and over as I watch the mana flow away. I reach down to my mana well, rapidly emptying now that I'm gone. I touch it. I feel the surface. It feels like me.
It... still feels like me.
Then I remember what happened with 8C. It was already dead for a day before the space inside it collapsed completely. Maybe, just maybe, I can get my body working again, as long as my mana well is still intact. As long as it's still there, this body is still me. So for now, I keep trying.
Even though I'm already working on a dead body.
Last time, I was able to restart my heart using lightning. I give it a try again now, running some lightning through my heart, with lightning mana to ensure I don't do even more damage in the process. I can feel my heart flutter, but it's not enough. So I try it again, with more lightning. I get it to beat, just once. It feels like there isn't enough blood left to pump.
I'm not breathing either. So I have Maven stick his head right into my mouth, and try blowing air into my lungs. It doesn't work very well. I feel the air just come right out my nose, so Kiara holds it closed while she keeps working with the earth mana, trying to force my body to continue healing even though it's dead.
Are my efforts even worth anything? I question myself even as they keep working. Nothing I've done has ever made a difference before. Not against the rail units, and not in anything I tried for myself. Everything I ever accomplished was thanks to other people. Francis, Marrianne, Emily, even the other rail units like 8C. They just went along, helping me, even though it only ever cost them. Now here I am, having a bunch of animals try to breathe life back into my dead body. When will I just give up on this stupid life?
Despite my dark thoughts, Maven and Kiara continue their efforts, managing to get a few more beats out of my heart, and my lungs to inflate a few times. Each success feels like it slows the mana flowing away. Like it's trying to get my body working again, even if it's not enough.
Because it's never enough! I scream silently, split between the animals that clearly have stronger wills than myself. It's Maven that finally slaps some sense into me, shouting into my mind to remind me of what I said earlier. As long as my mana well is still there, I have to keep trying. Even if it's hopeless. Even if everything I do is doomed to fail, I have to keep trying anyway. So that one day, just maybe, I'll actually succeed. But... will it ever happen?
If it's ever going to happen, it has to be now. This is already my last chance. So for now, I just try to push away my doubts, my depression, and my hatred, and focus. Maven has hope, but where does it come from? Joining my will with theirs anyway, I keep working.
While I'm fighting through my own weakness, Brom is trying to approach some of the scavenger birds. But it's no good in an open field like this, he can't get anywhere near them because there's no way to sneak up on them. Baan, on the other hand, is moving off toward the same stretch of mountains Maven ran to yesterday.
Until, with no warning, Baan is lifted from the ground, rushing up into the sky. He flails briefly before realizing what's happening. A small bird has scooped him up in its claw and is rapidly ascending. It's incredible how high up he is already. After the moment of shock, I reach out to knock the bird out, but stop. If I did that now, Baan would definitely fall to his death. Changing plans, I quickly dive into its mana well, forcibly converting it to my own colorless mana.
"Chiiiaaaa!" the bird cries as its consciousness suddenly becomes my own in mid-flight. It's disorienting, suddenly experiencing flight. But I just pull my thoughts away to keep working on my body. I can think about that later. It will be up to Baan and the bird to deal with things over there.
As it turns out, they deal with things very well. The bird carries Baan over to the base of the mountains, where he collects more berries, then quickly swoops down into the canyon to drop him off. He's back and the hobins get another meal before the sun even sets. We're still desperately working on trying to heal and revive me. It feels like we're slowing the rate my mana well is emptying, but we can't stop it.
While we keep it up, the hobins approach the point of collapse. They can't take turns, one at a time like this. We need at least two working to try and revive me by blowing into my lungs and using lightning to try and restart my heart. Even converting fire mana for the hobins doesn't help much. They've just been going too long, with far too little rest to keep it up. As the sun is beginning to set, the bird swoops down, clipping the wings of one of the scavengers as it passes. Brom catches it while it's grounded, and has his first meal. Once he gets back, he takes over for the hobins. They collapse immediately, passing out on the ground. Soma is just waking up, so he holds my nose while Brom keeps tending to me.
Finally, the bird joins us too. I guess we have one more companion now. One more pair of wings to help. To try and reach that tiny, faint chance of survival. Thinking back to its cry before, I think I've come up with a name. Since it's a female bird, I'll name her Chisa. Chisa just sleeps for a while, until Brom starts getting tired. They switch places as the moon approaches the middle of the sky. With a beak and sharp talons, Chisa's options for helping treat me are much more limited though. So she passes off to Soma, and awkwardly uses her wings to cover my nose while he keeps helping with my breathing. He's already been up for a long time though, so by the time the sun starts to rise and the other hobins are just beginning to wake up, he's too exhausted to continue, and passes out again.
They continue just like that. A pair working to revive me while the others rest. Chisa can't help as well, so she goes to get the food, easy on her quick wings. It frees up the hobins and Brom to focus entirely on alternating between trying to revive me, and sleeping. The sun rises and falls back out of the sky as they work. How many days has it been now, anyway? I keep watching the mana in my well spill away. It's incredible how much there is. But no matter how deep it runs, it is going to run out eventually. We have to get my body to work again before then, if it's even possible. But this is the limit of my abilities. I can't do anything more.
The moon passes, and the sun rises once more. We still haven't had any luck reviving me. I can feel the flow of mana beginning to slow from my well. I have no idea what the vast quantity of mana was that has spilled out, but it's running out. Even so, all we can do is just continue as we have. Keep trying to make me breathe. Make my heart beat, a bit at a time. Make my wounds heal. As long as Chisa can go get food, the others can keep switching places, trying with everything they have to bring me back. But we're running out of time.
Looking me over, we have at least healed my body enough that the worst of my broken bones are set back in place, the skin they originally broke through barely closed again. That alone helps a lot. I'm still riddled head to toe with massive gashes, cuts, scrapes, and numerous scalding burns, probably from those Nova and Meteora spells. It's still a gruesome scene, but I can at least imagine my body being able to sustain life in this state. So why won't it? From the feel as we keep trying to start my heart, I've lost far too much blood. Every time we start my heart beating, it just gives out. Over the last two days, with the bleeding stopped, it feels like it has been recovering a little, but how much longer will it take?
I keep trying, getting single thumps out of my heart at a time. It's getting a little stronger. Is it possible, this might actually work? With the end in sight, hovering just barely out of our grasp, everyone runs toward it. We pick up our efforts, using earth, fire, and lightning mana to keep trying to strengthen my body enough. But it still doesn't feel right. Like we're still missing something. With each attempt, it feels like we start my heart, we breathe into my lungs, but I'm just not picking up the slack. I'm not able to cling to life during those opportunities.
I want to live, I tell myself. I do.
Chisa heads back to get more food while the sun starts to sink. She picks a few small branches of berries for the hobins, then flies around for a bit until she spots a small animal near the base of the mountains and swoops down, snatching it up in a flash, just like she did to Baan originally.
Only this time, another predator was also aiming for the small prey. Chisa has to evade as a large, unfamiliar animal dashes at the small thing just after she picks it up. She dodges its claws with a frantic roll, just barely skimming over the rocky ground, before pitching sharply upward, outside of the land-based predator's range. It occurs to me that either Chisa is really unlucky, or this is a bad place to look for prey. It's just too open, all sorts of predators will end up fighting over prey here.
As those thoughts play through the back of my mind, I'm mostly just glad that Chisa got away safely. She flies back our way with the food and gives all of the hobins, and Brom, another small meal to keep their energy up. She's getting hungry herself though, so Brom gives back half of the small animal for her to eat. Despite getting what they all need, we aren't able to make any progress. I just can't get my body working again. So it isn't going to work after all?
I think to myself, even though my mana well hasn't collapsed yet, that doesn't mean I can actually bring myself back from the dead. I can feel it every time we get my heart going. Life falls within my grasp, but I can't hold onto it. It was a tiny, dreamlike hope anyway. Of course I shouldn't hope for things.
Laughing at myself, I just watch as the last of my mana begins to drain away, despite the best efforts of everyone else. So much for my last chance. I knew this was hopeless, didn't I? It's always hopeless. I can't escape my dark thoughts, my final failure looming right before me. If I have one regret, it's that I was too weak to even hear Emily's answer. Not that she would ever accept something horrible like me anyway. Maybe it's better I don't hear it? I can feel everyone else's spirits fall, burdened by my pathetic feelings.
The sun begins to touch the western mountains. The sky lights orange, beginning to go dark. My thoughts feel like sludge, like I'm trapped in the murk I've always lived in. With the loss of my body, is there any way I can just cut myself off from all of these animals? Let myself vanish completely so I don't screw up their lives any more than I already have? Just look at them. Starved, working themselves to exhaustion for days on end, and for what? To revive a monster? Maven keeps trying to draw me from my wallowing and self-pity, but I don't really want to hear it anymore. Then something pulls everyone's attention away.
We all turn at once as a harsh scraping sound echoes through the canyon.
An animal is running down the cliff sides?! Not well though. It's scrambling, raking its claws over the cliff face to find any grip it can as it descends rapidly. It even tumbles at the end, landing with a yelp and nearly rolling into the river before it rises back to its feet, already growling angrily.
Despite the strange entrance, it's immediately menacing when it stalks forward. Is that the same animal that attacked Chisa earlier? Did it chase her all the way back here?
It's not very bulky, but has long fur with small dark spots all over. The body shape seems a bit similar to Brom, but it's a good deal larger, and its long claws are curved and dig into the solid stone floor of the canyon with a soft, grinding hiss with each small step. Even its growl sounds different than Brom's. I don't know what kind of animal it is, but it's definitely dangerous. Even getting the hobins close enough to touch it and knock it out feels incredibly dangerous, with those claws it has. So I pull them away while Brom steps up and Chisa begins to flap, readying herself to swoop into the creature. As long as someone can touch it without getting hit, we win.
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Brom is the fastest. Digging his claws in against the stone for grip, he kicks forward, crossing the distance between them in moments. The spotted animal rears up on its hind legs, swiping out with its claws, but Brom goes low, ramming right into the animal with his shoulder. As soon as he makes contact, I pull as hard as I can to knock out the animal.
I barely get more than a trickle of mana to come out. The resistance is way too high, Brom doesn't have enough mana!
The animal staggers for a moment, but recovers and hits Brom in the side. He yelps out in pain and retreats, but the wound doesn't hurt too bad, like it was just a quick swat.
Brom has the most mana of anyone here! The angry creature slowly paces forward once more, forcing the rest to fall back. Maybe if everyone went at once? With their relative sizes, Chisa would contribute a good deal, and maybe Maven would help some since he's been using mana for so much longer than the others, but none of the other three hobins would be much help.
I stare from all of their eyes at once. The animal steps forward, opening its mouth to snarl intimidatingly and revealing long, curved fangs. It comes, one little step at a time while a dark thought occurs to me.
This figures. After everything I've put them through, this animal is going to kill everyone here. I brought everyone here to save my life, and as my mana well is on the verge of collapse, they are all going to be killed. All because of me. Like this world is really just trying to drive the point home, that absolutely nothing I do will ever turn out right. If only I had never brought them here. If I had been content to abandon this worthless life of mine, none of this would have happened. Too stubborn to die, but too weak to live.
But at the same time, I could have resolved this. If only I hadn't died. If only I could get up, I've always had so much more mana than these animals, knocking this one out would be a breeze. I'm laughing at my own thoughts. It's always like this, even at the very end. Because now, of all times, I'm out of mana. Even if I did miraculously recover at this very moment, now would be the one time I actually wouldn't be able to knock it out. It hurts so much it's funny.
I'm out of mana and out of time, and I'm about to drag everyone else down with me. Just like 8C. If it hadn't spent all that mana, if it hadn't put its life on the line for such a pathetic, foolish, selfish monster as me, it wouldn't have died in that battle. Another death, all my fault. You should just leave me to the beast, I tell them all. I try to make them go, but they don't move.
"Not happening." He hardly does it, so it's a surprise when Maven speaks right into my mind, borrowing my understanding of words. "We aren't going anywhere." The rest silently agree. I'm so weak-willed that I can't even command small animals anymore?
The deadly creature has prowled up, nearly face to face with the animals that refuse to move from in front of me. It releases another snarl, and they all shrink back, but won't run. Maven is still fighting to revive me, but we're still missing something.
All I can do is beg. "I don't want any of you to die. Why won't you leave me? I'm already dead!" But I can't convince them at all. They've done so much to help me. Like everyone, always helping when I can never return the favor.
"Return the favor now!" Maven finally screams at me furiously.
"I can't do it!" I shout back. I can never do it!
"At least try!" he demands.
The creature raises its clawed paw threateningly, but the animals still won't move. The words come at the speed of thought. "Don't you have any hope?"
When have I ever had hope? Right before I was shot down into this canyon and died?! I'm too weak, what could I hope for?!
In response to my thoughts, everyone moves as one. Together, they all turn their backs on the animal and dive for me. "If you can't hope for you, hope for others!" they all say together. Even as they pile onto me, they can hear the animal lunge, snarling as it bears down from behind.
With a spin, Brom takes its claws to the shoulder to protect the hobins, grabbing onto the animal with its front legs to stop its movements, but it barrels right over him, knocking them off balance, toward the pile of animals on top of me.
All together, the hobins use the metal on top of me to push another surge of lightning through my heart, one more time. The energy hits me all at once, and time seems to stand still. Their words from a moment ago still ringing through all of our minds.
Hope for others? But, if I'm hoping for them, I'd be hoping to save them.
I can't do it. I already know that.
For a bunch of animals, they're so stubborn. But... isn't that because they're also me? Since they are, why do they keep trying, even when I've given up? Just because I'm so weak-willed?
I don't get it. My thoughts turn away from the animals. Who else is there?
Emily. Her name comes instantly. Hope for Emily? I already do, right? She can hunt now, so I hope she'll have a better life than before. And with me out of the way, she won't need to deal with me either. But... she told me to come back.
Maybe I should try after all?
That thought finally pushes me forward.
I can feel it, just like before, the lightning forcing life back into my body. And it can just barely maintain life at this point. Exactly the same feeling as earlier.
My thoughts continue. If I actually try, can I save these animals? I have no idea. But isn't that why I'm supposed to try? As my heart just barely begins to beat, I feel the surge of my own brain trying to work.
That's exactly what they meant, wasn't it? Since I don't know how things will turn out, I can't just say I'll fail like always. I have to at least try.
That is hope.
With my body just beginning to move, I push. With every last bit of my tiny will, I push myself. I can feel me. Everything inside of me attempting to come together. But it's not working, because I'm the one who needs to hold it. I need to will it to work, and I can tell, my fear of death won't do it.
I've always been afraid of dying. Everything I did, everything I learned was in hopes of avoiding it. I can't just be scared of dying. It's not enough. I'm already dead.
Right now, if I want to move forward, if I want to live and grasp that chance, that bit of hope that everyone else believes in, I need more.
If I want to hope for my friends, who I dragged into all of this, I have to live. I have to want to live. For the first time ever.
Even if I can't do that for myself, right now, I think I can do it for them.
So I push with everything, time barely trickling by, while the forced start of my heart passes, and it's up to me to keep it going.
I draw out my will, drives, guilts, obligations, and cares. Everything I know that moves me. Picturing Emily, who I want to see again, even if it's for her to curse me. Picturing Chisa, Brom, Kiara, Baan, Soma, and Maven, who I want to save. Even picturing Francis and Marrianne, who I just want to live happily together.
I fix those images in my thoughts, drawing on them for the strength I lack, for the hope I can't feel for myself. I spin it all together, and silently scream, 'I want to live!'
I push my scream out throughout my entire being, using it to bind me to myself, urging myself forward with every tiny shred of willpower I can bring forth.
Then my heart beats again. All at once, the shuddering thump triggers my body to react. I gasp in a painful, ragged breath of burning air, and time moves once more.
In the handful of instants it takes for my spinning mind to go through everything, the two larger animals fall over backward on top of me. The attacker is large and very heavy. The pain of them toppling onto my shattered, dying body is unlike anything I've felt, even during the battle. It's a surprise that it doesn't kill me again outright.
Having literally just raised myself from the dead, I can't move at all. Even through the reeling, impossible pain, I can reach out with my mana. Right through Brom, I grab onto the attacking animal and pull. But it's not like before. As I thought, I lost too much mana. I don't have enough to knock it out. The animal bares its fangs, aiming for Brom's throat as it has him pinned on top of me. But everyone else joins in. All at once, all four hobins and Chisa crash into the animal. Between all six of us, we have a little more mana. With one big swing, using every bit of our willpower, I yank. In my current state, the force is enough to knock me out.
In this case, all of me.
I vaguely become aware of everyone waking up bit by bit after I pulled so hard, I think I accidentally dislodged all of our mana too.
Somehow, it was just enough to knock out the thing attacking us. How could an animal have so much mana? As I hold it, split up over all of us, I compare the amount with my own. This animal had... about twice as much mana as I do, and that's not counting whatever is left in its well. That puts it many times higher than any normal animals, and even people, like Emily and those guards.
It even had more than me. How did I even manage to knock it out anyway? I mean, there's more mana in each of our wells, but after losing so much, I don't know how much I actually have left myself.
Unfortunately, my body can barely sustain my life at all, especially after being crushed under the large creature. After those few moments of clarity, I quickly lose consciousness. And it feels like I'm going to slip away again, before everyone jumps back in, hauling the creature off of me, then frantically treating my injuries with earth and fire mana once more. It's working, but my insides feel absolutely shredded, still leaking mana even after I've been revived.
After a little while, it feels like I barely level off a little bit. It's just enough to take a few moments to turn my attention back to my previous thoughts about my mana well.
Right, I was thinking about how much I have left, I think vaguely. I never really figured out how deep my well was, but now I have a chance. So I try reaching down. I did this once or twice before, but never found the bottom, right?
But this time, the well is empty. I just keep extending down inside of myself. I couldn't say how long it goes on for, until I finally, suddenly, hit the bottom. I find my mana, a tiny bit in the bottom of the well. It's still deeper than most animals, but... Compared to the utterly, unimaginably long way down it is, this amount can't even be considered a fraction of a percent of what I had before. It feels like I've come about as close to zero as possible, without hitting zero. But... I'm alive again. After all of that, I'm actually alive.
Slowly, everyone begins to relax a bit, but there's still one problem left: the unconscious animal.
It's so different from anything before, I don't want to just leave it unconscious. I don't know if it will actually wake up again on its own, unlike the others I've knocked out before. So I reach inside. Unlike the amount of mana I pulled out, its well isn't that big. Five or ten times more than other animals, but still nothing remotely close the size of mine. I reach into its mana well to convert it so it won't attack us again. Though, I don't have much mana left, so I have to use what little I have across all of the animals, pulling from everyone else's wells to get it to finish converting, and draw the larger creature into our group. Thankfully, that gets me all the mana back, plus the decent quantity within the creature's well. It's even more than I have left in my own well at this point.
Upon awakening, the first thing it does is get up, and... huffs angrily at Chisa. Is it still holding a grudge over her taking that one bit of prey? Just look at the situation, we really needed it! I silently plead with the standoffish animal. After a little while, it grudgingly agrees. Having access to all of our thoughts and memories, we clearly needed it more.
As soon as I start considering a name though, it scoffs at me and says it will pick its own name. I hastily agree with the strangely willful creature.
But despite all of its confidence, it can't seem to come up with anything for a name. I try suggesting a few things, like how it has spots, or how it's the biggest member of our group, but it just scoffs again and asks me if I want to be named White. The hair I guess? It has a point though. Then it mentally kicks me and tells me that it's a girl, and to stop calling it-her a thing.
"You sort of remind me of Mary," I think to her. The first Mary I met, how she was loud, energetic, and always spoke her mind. At least, that's the impression she gave when I was with her.
She thinks briefly on it, and I can feel her moving the sounds around, before she says, "I've decided, my name will be Myra." We all agree immediately. I'm just glad she actually chose a good name. I doubt I could have convinced her to change her mind if she hadn't...
Now that my condition has actually stabilized, we begin to calm down as we settle in for the night. Myra stalks off to go hunting, but everyone else gets some decent sleep for the first time, though they make sure to keep one of them watching my body and doing a little work with my mana to keep everything working, also giving me a little more water from time to time. Like I noticed earlier, I have this feeling, like I'm regaining mana, but also like I'm losing a whole lot. My insides still feel totally ripped up, though I'm not entirely sure why. Of course, dying and losing ninety nine point nine nine percent of my mana seems to be the most likely cause. Either that or because I'm so heavily injured, still nearly dead. But it's hard to say which.
Every time one of the animals checks me, a whole lot has leaked out, but I still seem to have the same amount inside me. I don't know how that works... It doesn't feel like it's coming from my well either. That is... maybe starting to refill, but it's hard to say. It doesn't seem to be changing much. It's still alarmingly low, and I can't even be sure if it's refilling or not. Definitely an issue to keep an eye on. At least I'm not actively dying now.
It takes a long time for that realization to fully set in. It lets me slowly calm myself, just letting my mind wander.
Eventually, I think of my divine gear. Given my mana loss, now I really want to check my divine gear. However, my body is totally useless at the moment, so it will have to wait. But if what 8C said is any indication, it should still list a number somewhere around three thousand, since it shouldn't actually properly measure my mana with my manastone broken. But I still want to check when I can.
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Thankfully, the night passes peacefully. Even Myra returns at some point to take a nap. When the sun finally rises, I know I'm through the worst of it. I'm still on death's door, but I'm recovering now, instead of slipping away. All that's left is to go home. I still want to hear Emily's answer. In my earlier depression and dark thoughts, I'd given up on it. But thanks to everyone, I barely managed to grasp that last chance. Once again, it was thanks to everyone helping me, making up for the strength I lack, but... I actually succeeded for once, didn't I?
Since I'm still here, I have to hear her answer, no matter what it is. As the sun drifts up overhead, I ask Myra if she can carry me back to town. She's a little put off by the thought of being used like some sort of steed for such a tiny thing like me, but eventually agrees anyway. With a good deal of help from everyone else, they manage to, agonizingly, load me onto Myra's back. It feels like if she moves just a little bit badly, I'll slide right off. It's not like I can hold on after all. I'm pretty sure most of my bones are still broken, even if they've set and started to heal.
So at a very slow, walking pace, Myra steps one foot after another, out of the canyon. It's surprising how gentle she can be when she wants to be. The praise just makes her embarrassed, and she snaps at me a little. Unfortunately, that includes her jostling a little as she walks, which sends waves of agony through every part of my body. I can feel her not wanting to apologize, but then she gives into the guilt and says sorry after a bit, making sure to keep her pace as slow and even as possible after that. Even the hobins are able to walk alongside, despite the size difference. Brom is limping a little from Myra's claw wounds, but that one she refuses to apologize for. He did ram into her. Despite the damage, he should heal without much worry. It's just kind of painful for now, while the wounds are still fresh.
"Still, thank you for carrying me, Myra," I speak silently, thanking her as sincerely as I can. It means a lot that she'd do this for me. I remember to say the same to Chisa and Brom. Unlike the others, I converted all of them against their will. Surprisingly, they don't seem to care at all. Both Chisa and Brom say how they like feeling so much smarter and stronger than before. Is it really that different? It's kind of hard to imagine what it was like for them before, since their memories before that point are kind of indistinct.
As for Myra, she admits that she greatly underestimated our group of small creatures. Rather than being killed and eaten for her mistake, she was merely brought into our group. She doesn't say much about extra strength and intelligence like the others, but we can all feel that she just doesn't want to acknowledge it, rather than not noticing it. Still, she definitely gives the impression that it isn't a particularly large difference, like it was for the others. Just what sort of strange animal is Myra exactly?
While we continue walking at our gentle pace for a long time, Chisa flies around overhead. It turns out looking down at the world through her eyes is really interesting, and a lot more fun than focusing on the agony aching throughout my own body. Despite that, Myra's fur feels amazing. It has its outward spotted appearance, but it's actually pretty long and really soft and smooth against my ragged skin. It makes her look even larger than she already is, which was really hard to tell without touching it. I'd have a hard time telling whether her fur or a hobin's feels better. Unsurprisingly, she takes offense at me comparing her fur to that of the hobins. But after looking at them for a bit, she drops it.
I spend the remainder of the trip vaguely passing between Chisa's travels in the sky, and the gentle, delicate stride of Myra, as she paces her way across the endless fields of grass. Interestingly, I end up spotting the town through Chisa from an incredible distance, so I can actually tell how close we are, even though it's beyond the horizon from where we are down below. According to Chisa, it has to do with the world being round, so it's always curving down away from us. In my current state, I'm not sure I understand, so I just take her word for it. She must know a lot about that, since she's always flying around and can see way more than us on the ground.
At Myra's slow, considerate pace, it takes a very long time, but the most important thing is not worsening any of my injuries. So the sun passes overhead in what seems like a flash. We pass over the bridge, only a short distance from town when the sun sets behind the mountains, so we just lie down in the grass beside the road for the night. After an entire day of just beginning to overcome my injuries, I feel a tiny bit better. I'm so loaded up with earth mana too, that I'm hardly even aware of whether I have nightmares or not. We'll get to town first thing tomorrow morning. I'll have to figure out how to deal with all of that, but it can come later...