From outside, in all of the animals' consciousnesses, I'm aware of my own mind seemingly blinking out of existence. What happened to me? There's no way I could have died again, sleeping in Eryk's house, right?
I have Chisa fly low, hopping around his house to look through windows until she spots me. I'm bleeding from my head. So a hit to the head and a concussion, I guess. Everyone sighs together. Half relief that it's only a concussion, half dejected, because even sleeping with Emily isn't enough to hold back the nightmares from the battle.
I'm not going to be forced to rely on earth mana to get any sleep, forever, am I? Well, at the rate I'm going, I'm always going to need it to heal my injuries that multiply faster than I can blink, so it may not even matter... right?
Of course, that's until the next battle, only what, less than a month away? Without Reena's help, I'm definitely going to die. Not that her 'help' helped the first time. Since apparently it was just me misunderstanding what she meant the whole time.
Despite my resentful will to prove her wrong earlier, I know that no matter what I manage to learn, it still won't be enough to survive against those monsters.
Ugh, why is it always like this? Why does everything turn out wrong? Is it me? Is all of this my own fault?
"Oh shut up," Myra suddenly cuts in. She plops down on the rocky ground, pawing the ground with annoyance. "There's no way all of this is your fault, even you should know that much."
"But I was the one who moved Jannette's things. The other girls warned me, but I was stupid and didn't listen. All because I wanted to spite Reena for taking advantage of me."
"Sure, but Jannette completely overreacted. Emily's right, she shouldn't have gone straight to Fredricson about it without talking to you first. The other girls said there's no trust between you all, but that's obviously not true," she points out.
"You mean what I was thinking about before," I ask to confirm. How Helen and Eve help me. What about Reena? I shake off the stray thought. "But that doesn't include Jannette, she's never even gotten along with everyone else. And she always seems angry at me too."
"Then what about this morning?" Maven joins the silent conversation bouncing back and forth between everyone's minds. He's obviously trying to be positive. "You trusted everyone to keep your secret about making hot water. They should have returned at least a little of that trust, right?" The memory of Jannette sighing, eyes closed as she enjoyed the hot water, completely different than she has ever acted before, plays through everyone's minds.
"You weren't completely in the wrong here," Myra grunts at me. "Jannette is to blame too." I think on it quietly for a while. I really do wish that after everything we've talked about and everything I've trusted them with - hot water, Reena, and my blessing - that they would at least trust me a little...
At some point, Chisa points out that they're taking me back to the doctor. That's three times in one day! I silently cry that I just finished healing. At least the concussion is no big deal. And the burns, they should heal in a few days, once I can get more earth mana.
I'm way more worried that Mister Fredricson will keep beating me now, since he knows he can. I don't want to go back to a life like that. It's too much. I can't take it...
Chisa follows us from above, watching them carry me back to the clinic. They bring me inside and she perches on a nearby building. Where will they bring me after? It's a little after the eighth bell, so there's still a while before I should go home.
I wait for some time, just watching the building and the people wandering past. But they aren't coming back out. There shouldn't be much to do, maybe just put a bandage on my head, what's taking so long?
"Uhh," Riko suddenly grabs everyone's attention, pointing down from where she's been napping at the garrison. Why is Beth over there? From her spot, Riko watches her walk inside, talk to a few guards, then make her way over to Frank.
"Come on, get closer," Myra barks at Riko.
"Get me some water mana later so I don't have to bother moving," she grumbles at us, but reluctantly rises anyway. She stretches a little, then drops down onto one of the weapon rails, moving with quick steps into a spot near them so we can hear their conversation easily.
"I'd like to report a crime," Beth says, arms crossed with an unpleasant expression.
Frank takes one look at her high class clothes and asks, "Alright, what sort of crime?" while grabbing some wooden thing off a nearby table. He raises an eyebrow, as do most of the guards within earshot.
"Child abuse." That makes Frank frown.
"You know, there's not usually much we can do about that, it's up to parents how they discipline their children..."
"A child was brought into my clinic today, saying she was beaten by her guardian," Beth responds flatly. "She had second degree burns all over her body."
Frank's eyes go wide. "Oh," is his only response. He visibly gulps, collecting himself, and grabs up something to write with, then starts asking questions.
"Your name? Husband's name? Workplace?" He seems to be recording her answers, before he asks, "Name of the child?"
"Aria."
Frank stops cold. Beth raises an eyebrow slightly. Oh no, I have no idea how he might respond to this...
"White hair?" he asks quietly. Now Beth looks shocked.
Her voice trembles slightly when she asks, "You know her?"
"Yeah, she's uhh, been around here a bit."
"You don't mean..."
"Oh no!" His burly voice suddenly cracks in his haste, before he continues, more composed. "No. No trouble with the law. She seems to wind up in here, all beat up for one reason or another, pretty often."
"I... know what you mean," Beth looks down, sighing. "Has Fredricson been beating her like this? How long has this been going on?"
"This is the first I've heard of it," Frank assures her. "But there's a problem. We can't do anything about it."
"What do you mean you can't do anything?!" Beth suddenly shouts.
"Shh, come on." He quickly leads her away from the now very interested guards, heading toward the door to that sleeping room in the back. Riko jumps down from the overhead rails, across one of the wooden seats on the floor, and rushes through the door as soon as he opens it. Frank steps back a little as she darts past, but doesn't seem to mind it, and leads Beth into the next room.
Riko hops up onto a nearby bed, but Frank swats her off as he goes to sit down himself. So she moves to the next bed over. We all mentally glare at Riko for not being serious, but she just shrugs and says that bed is more comfortable.
Giving up on the topic, we listen to them continue to talk. "We can't touch Fredricson," Frank tells her with a deep frown, shaking his head. "He has the protection of a noble."
"A -" she gasps, blinking rapidly. "How?!"
"Don't go spreading this around," he says darkly. She hesitantly agrees. "Best I can tell, he sells the kids. Not directly of course," he adds when it looks like she's going to speak up. "He signs over custody of the child as an adoption, but they give him a kick-back in return. It's shitty, but technically not illegal, so we can't do anything about that. But that's not the real problem."
He takes a deep breath. "The real problem is... well, I think he sells some of the kids to the nobles. Couldn't tell you how he does it, I don't even know how someone like him would get in contact with a noble." That makes me think... the priest he was with maybe? What is his connection with the priest?
Frank shakes his head, then continues. "We've gone over there a few times over the years after finding kids seriously injured, but he has a letter from a noble that basically says he has their permission to do whatever he wants with the kids. So even when we hear about it, there's nothing we can do." He grits his teeth. "Of course I'll still send someone over. If all we can do is hassle him over it, we will. Even if nothing comes of it." His shoulders sag in defeat. Beth takes a while, expression going through one emotion after another, all the way from rage to eventual resignation.
Then, Frank asks, "How is she?"
"Like I said, she's covered in burns. It looks like he beat her with a hot object, maybe a pot or pan off of their hearth. But I've seen how fast she heals, she'll be better in no time." It sounds like she perks up just a bit as she says that, but then she hunches forward, head in her hands, nearly resting between her legs. "But I'm a lot more worried about what a beating like that will do to her mentally, and emotionally."
With the change of topic, I shudder. I don't know what to think about her words. I feel like I shouldn't be listening to this...
"Do you want me to go?" Riko asks.
"I..." but I don't know how to answer.
"Stay, she should hear this," Myra advises, so Riko stays.
Beth continues, "It's clear that she's been through a lot of physical abuse in the past, but when I spoke to her, she gave the impression that she was trying to put it behind her. I'm really worried that this will undo any healing she might have done since then."
Everyone sits in silence. Both adults in the room, and all nine of us listening in secretly. I think back on the afternoon. Emily was pointing out how I'd started acting like a rail unit. Even I thought about how it was just like back then, that if Mister Fredricson keeps beating me, it'll be just like being with the rail units again. I haven't really fallen back that far, have I?
Eventually, Frank puts a hand on her shoulder. "I think she'll be fine. She has some really strong support backing her up." I do?
"You mean the refinery owner?" she asks.
Eryk, I think... He has been doing a lot for me. From the food to finding an instructor. I can see why now. He stands to make endless profit from the discovery of combining metals, so I know why he's gone so far. But that doesn't change the fact that he has gone to incredible lengths to help me.
"Yeah, she has some really unexpected connections in high places," Frank gives a few big nods. High places? Is he referring to Reena? I immediately feel my heart sink when I think about her again.
I was so angry and resentful earlier, even though I said things to her I wish I could take back.
But wasn't she just using me?
I don't know, maybe?
Even if she was, she gave me two blessings. I know she doesn't understand me, and what she wanted me to do went completely against the reason I exist, but she still gave me that premonition, trying to save my life.
Only so she could take advantage of me later!
My head is completely spinning, After that huge screaming match, I have no idea how to think of Reena anymore. Despite all that, I still want to do the right thing and apologize for saying those things I didn't mean. I shouldn't have tried to hurt her just because I was angry. I know that. It makes me feel terrible.
Maybe after I apologize, we can actually talk and figure out where we stand....
"I know what you mean, he goes further for her than I've seen from him before." Beth agrees. I've been so in my own head, it takes a moment to think back and remember what they're talking about. Yeah, she definitely missed Frank's reference to Reena. "It's strange, if I didn't know him I'd say she was an illegitimate child..." she trails off, then looks up, staring at the wall. "Maybe he would adopt her?" Her voice trembles.
"You think so?" Frank looks surprised. "I don't know much about him, you think he'd really go that far for her? Does he even have a wife?"
"Well, no... But anything would be better than where she is now. He might do it anyway. With the way things are going for her at home, she has to get out of there. I'm going to ask him what he thinks about it. Thank you for taking my report, even if there isn't anything you can do. I'm going to keep trying."
"Good to hear," Frank smiles a little. "Now get going, it sounds like you're going to be busy."
After Beth heads out of the garrison, Riko keeps sitting for a while, none of us sure what to do or think next. Would Eryk really adopt me? I... I have no idea. He said he wants to work with me. I don't know if adopting me would work for or against doing that.
But... can he adopt me? Would it even work? I had to leave Marrianne's because she would find out I'm a rail unit. I've learned so much more that no one suspects me anymore, but I still need to go to battle every few months. How could I possibly explain that over any extended length of time? I know Eryk said he wouldn't look into it, but...
No, I'm going to have this problem whether someone adopts me or not, I realize. Even if I stay at the orphanage, how many times can I disappear at the same time the rail units go off to battle before Mister Fredricson gets suspicious?
In fact, why isn't he suspicious already? He saw my rail unit robe. He even took it to have it examined that one time. There's no way he could have forgotten about that. I don't understand what he's thinking at all...
----------------------------------------
Eventually, Frank gets up again, ordering a couple soldiers to go harass Mister Fredricson and threaten him as much as they can, without overstepping their bounds.
Since I'm still unconscious and they haven't left the clinic yet, my best guess is they're waiting for Beth to come back. But is she going back to the clinic, or is she going to head over to the refinery? Chisa takes off, flying west along Main Street to check.
It's hard to find her from above, her blond hair isn't particularly distinctive compared to all of the other heads of blond and brown hair milling through the streets below. Chisa doesn't want to go too low over the large street either, or she might risk something jumping at her, or maybe even someone trying to shoot her with a bow...
After a few passes, she manages to spot Beth, and begins to follow her. But what do I do now? Am I really just going to follow Beth around and keep listening to her? Not that Chisa can do that. Even if she can follow Beth all the way to the refinery, she can't go inside buildings like Riko can. And why am I spying on her anyway? I mean, I want to know what Eryk thinks about adopting me, but doing it like this feels wrong...
When Beth passes right by the street that would lead her toward the clinic, I know for sure that she's heading straight over to the refinery. Chisa keeps following anyway, since there's nothing much better to do.
Beth heads toward the East Gate, turning up onto the northeastern shopping street where the refinery is, and continues on among the crowd of other merchants and travelers. She stands out here in her fancy, shiny, dark green dress, since the further north she goes, the lower class things are, even on the shopping street by the wall. Why is the refinery so far north anyway? It's almost halfway up the wall toward the northeast corner of the city.
She goes into the refinery, and Chisa just stops on a nearby rooftop. After she's inside for a while, I feel a tug. I think I'm starting to wake up. Pushing myself, I manage to surface, opening my own eyes again.
The terrible emotions from earlier hit me again, but everything is fuzzy from the after effects of the head injury. I always hated getting concussions, they made it so hard to think and focus. At least I can spread my thoughts across everyone else's minds now to avoid the worst of it. And it's sort of helping dull how terrible I feel...
"Aria? Are you alright?" Emily's voice. My whole body feels sluggish and still isn't working right. The disconnect means I don't feel the pain that badly at least. It takes a little while, but I eventually manage to rouse myself completely.
"Ugh, sorry," I groan, apologizing while I start to sit up, before she stops me with a gentle hand. I settle back down, but grimace. The burning pain is coming back everywhere. And now my head is pounding. I pull a hand up, feeling the bandages wrapped around my head.
"What are you apologizing for?" Emily asks, half worried and half annoyed for some reason. I finally realize she's sitting on the edge of the table I'm lying on.
"I'm sorry for hurting myself, sleeping together wasn't enough to get through the nightmares. What did I hit my head on anyway?" I ask, lightly rubbing at the sore spot on my forehead. It's a little above my broken manastone. It's strange, I still feel bad, but not as... blah as earlier. Sleeping helped with my mood before, did knocking myself out accomplish the same thing? I'd rather not test that to find out...
"You hit the corner of the fireplace." I hear John's voice coming from behind. I can't see him from where Emily is holding me, until he steps forward to stand at my side. "We brought you back to the doctor's. It looks like Beth is out right now though, so we're waiting for her to come back so she can take a look at you."
"Ah, I-" I cut off before the 'thought so.' "I... umm... I don't know." I try to cover, but my head is still pretty scrambled, so I just give up lamely. No one seems to notice though.
"How do you feel?" Emily asks a bit later.
"It's just a concussion. I'll be fine by tomorrow," I assure her, trying not to worry her with how awful I still feel.
"Just a concussion?" John asks. "Those are pretty serious you know."
"I've..." I frown when I think about it, my heart hurting. But finish the thought anyway. "I've had plenty of concussions before." It's really odd that it's reassuring that I can feel bad, after I started feeling all blank and uncaring earlier.
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
"Hmm..." John hums with furrowed eyebrows. When I share a glance with Emily, I remember that it was just her, Beth, Taylor, and Eryk when I explained the full extent of my past injuries. John doesn't know. I... don't really want to tell him.
There's nothing more to say for a while, so we all just wait.
Just lying and waiting, I feel something slowly spread over me. I feel... different now. It's not as bad as earlier, but it's like a kind of... mild sadness. But just lying here like this, it won't go away. It's not as concerning as that strange feeling before, but I don't want to just feel sad like this. I can't shake the feeling at all though. Not like the other bad feelings that at least are getting less distinct over time...
Eventually, Chisa sees Beth leave the refinery and head south. But Eryk leaves with her. Why is he with her this time? They quickly get back to Main Street, and Chisa follows them. They go west, but when they get near the clinic, they part ways. Eryk keeps going west while Beth turns south, toward the clinic.
I frown a bit. Where is Eryk going? He couldn't be going to the orphanage, could he? Is he actually going to ask Mister Fredricson about adopting me? My heart finally lifts. It's an incredible feeling. After bouncing between sadness, anger, resentment, and all those other terrible, crushing feelings all day, and even reverting almost back to how I used to be when Mister Fredricson beat me, this is the first time I've felt really, truly good and happy today. This is how I want to feel...
The joyous feeling sticks with me, even as my mind turns to more realistic worries. Do I want him to adopt me? I don't know, I haven't really had a chance to think through things, like the battles and all that.
No, that's not what I should be worrying about now. Isn't the north part of town dangerous for him? He always brought John along or sent him to get me before. Even Emily told me how you might get robbed if people see you have something worth stealing, and everything about Eryk screams 'worth stealing.' I look up at John. I want to ask him to go with Eryk, but...
"..." I open my mouth, then close it. He raises an eyebrow.
"What is it?" he asks.
"I..." I grit my teeth. There's no way I can explain this. But I can't just watch Eryk do something that might be dangerous. I have to protect him, even if it costs my life, just like any other person. But it's not just that. I actually want to. Because well, I really like him. I mean, he's going to ask about adopting me right now, right?! Every time I think that, it sends little excited bubbles spreading through my chest, despite my worries. "John, please go to the orphanage," I ask quietly.
He blinks a few times. "Why?" Of course he asks why.
I look away. "I can't tell you why."
"Ok... what should I do when I get there?"
"You'll know."
"Don't tell me..." his eyes narrow. I realize that what I just said sounded like I was predicting what would happen when he got there. Like another premonition.
It would be a good excuse, but I don't want to lie to him. "No, it's not that. I just know that you'll understand later."
"Alright." He gives a strong nod. A smile spreads on my face. I'm glad that at least John is willing to trust me.
"And, umm..." He's started to turn away, but he stops when I speak again. Based on our position compared to Eryk's... "Go quickly, and keep an eye out on the way there."
"Sure." With that, he leaves the room.
We just sit there for a while longer. Emily doesn't say anything. I'm sure she can guess how I'm directing him around, but she wouldn't know why. But she stays quiet anyway, probably because Taylor is still here, watching me with an unnervingly attentive expression.
Chisa follows Eryk to make sure John meets up with him since Beth is just coming back here. After a brief wait, I hear the thump of the outer door and the muffled voices from the other room.
...No, that's not Beth's voice. Right, she couldn't have gotten all the way here from Main Street that fast. What are they saying? It's hard to make it out clearly through the solid wooden door, even with some water mana. Something about being sick? And I think Nina is telling them to wait. I hear a thump and a bit of a wooden groan. Whoever just sat on the seat out there, they must be pretty big.
"Mmm..." I hear a light grumble, from Taylor this time. He's hardly spoken since we got here, seemingly content to just sit at his desk as always. Sit and watch me...
"What is it?" I ask.
"Honestly, it's going to be a bother explaining your presence to another customer, especially since it's just you two now," he says it right out.
"I'm sorry..." I mumble back.
"Eh, it'll be fine," he waves it off.
Not long after, I hear the door open again. This one should be Beth. Yeah, it's her smooth, reassuring voice, too quiet to make out her words. But then it comes louder. "Again?" There are a few quick taps, and the door opens.
"I'm back," she says quickly. As soon as the door closes behind her, she asks, "What happened to Aria now?" I sit up, and this time Emily lets me, hopping off the table edge and standing out of the way.
"I'm sorry, I got hurt again," I feel really bad, coming here over and over. I manage to keep from crying this time though, and try to explain. "It's just a mild concussion, but they brought me because I knocked myself out when I hit my head."
"It's fine, I'm glad you came when you got hurt, just like I told you to," she responds immediately, which finally makes me smile again. "You're looking a little better than earlier," she comments as she walks over, standing next to where I'm sitting up on the table.
"Yeah, a little," I answer. Of course, I can't tell her why.
"Good good," she says with a wide smile. "Now, a concussion, huh?" She grabs a candle and lights it. Holding my hair back with one hand, she brings the candle up, just a bit closer than seems safe, but I remain still. She moves it from in front of one eye to the other, while watching closely. With a small nod, she puts it out and has me walk around the room a couple times. I'm mostly fine, just a little dizziness that will be gone by tomorrow.
She kneels down since she's so much taller. "Alright, it really doesn't seem that bad," Beth sighs a bit. Only then, she finally looks around and asks, "Wait, who brought you?" I flinch a little. I was only worried about John earlier, I didn't think this far ahead. Now, I already know exactly how this conversation is going to go.
"Well, John did," I answer nervously.
"And then..." she prods me when I don't immediately continue.
"He had something to do." I'm trying to delay the inevitable.
"She asked him to go to the orphanage. Pretty specifically, and cryptically, I might add," Taylor suddenly comments from his seat. "I'm surprised, he went without asking any questions."
Of course, Beth immediately looks surprised, then suspicious. "Aria, why did you ask John to go to the orphanage?" She's the only one who knows where Eryk is going, not to mention why, so of course she's suspicious. Despite the look, she doesn't sound accusing, still speaking in her gentle tone.
"I..." I can't meet her gaze. "I can't..." I trail off. Am I really going to refuse to tell her anything? Again? This doesn't relate to being a rail unit, I should be able to talk about it, right? Don't I trust Beth? She's done so much for me. Bandaging my wounds, as bad as they were, despite my social class. And the checkups every single week to make sure I was healing well. Talking to me, asking how I am, how I feel. Even when I was bad, and hurt, in pain.
She was even thinking about how Mister Fredricson's beating might have worse effects than just the burns, and... and I think she was right. Just thinking about it sends a pang of... I don't know, this uncaring feeling, all through me. It's like the way I felt earlier. The thought of going back to being like that is scary! And she wants to help me talk through all of my problems, maybe it really would help, I don't know...
Then as soon as I came in today, she went to the guards for me, and it even looks like she talked Eryk into adopting me! "I..." my whisper comes out trembling.
I gulp. A glance at Emily, and she comes over right away. She presses a reassuring hand against my arm. But then I look over at Taylor. I don't trust him like Beth. He just told her something to make her suspicious of me. She easily follows my gaze.
"Honey, could you wait outside?" she asks him. He just shrugs and walks out of the room.
That leaves us alone, to talk...
It's just me, Beth, and Emily. Beth gently draws me over to the chairs, having me sit down, then taking the one Taylor was just in and sitting in it herself. The seat really burns on my butt and makes me cringe until I push the pain away.
Her voice comes quiet, hardly a whisper. "Just tell me whatever you're comfortable telling me." A gentle smile hangs on her lips.
"Umm, should I...?" Emily asks from the side, looking back and forth, terrified. I put my arms out, and she walks over so I can hug her. I hold her to my side, trying to keep moving forward. No matter what, I don't want to go backward. I slipped earlier, I don't want to do that again. I don't want to go back to how I was before. Even if I can't truly trust people with everything, I want to trust them with everything I can. And... I want them to trust me back.
I take a deep breath. "I... know things." It hardly comes out. I sound terrified. Did Beth even hear me? I haven't even thought out what I'm going to say at all. Beth just sits passively.
I can barely see a faint twitch in her lips and eyebrows. It's almost like reading Effy's minor expressions. Surprise. But she doesn't say anything. She's just letting me speak. So I keep speaking, before I lose my nerve. "I know things that I can't possibly know." Slowly, I make myself look her in the eyes. "I can't tell you how." Having myself spread across multiple bodies is still more than I'm willing to entrust to anyone except Emily and Francis. "But I know things."
I take a few more breaths to keep myself steady and slow my rapidly accelerating heart. "Would you... care to explain any more about that?" Beth asks lightly. I can tell, she's nudging me forward as gently as she can.
"I mean," I gulp involuntarily. My heart is doing flips. "I know what you asked Eryk." As soon as I say it, my heart is beating out of my chest. The pressure from all sides is suffocating. Now Beth shows true surprise.
"That is..." she's clearly at a loss for words. How will she react? Will she believe me? Will she think I'm weird? She's not going to throw me out like those shopkeepers, or, or something, is she? I can feel myself tearing up at just the thought. I shut my eyes, squeezing Emily.
I hope she trusts me...
"I've asked Eryk a few times in passing, but... you aren't blessed by the gods or something, are you?" Beth asks. I slowly squint my eyes open to her nervous smile. I can't tell exactly what she's thinking, or why she's asking that. Trying to come up with some explanation for how I could know these things maybe? But I've decided to trust her.
"Yes."
Her mouth hangs open and the silence hangs heavy. Does she believe me? Should I go on? Tell her more? Does she just need more time to process things? I squeeze Emily even tighter, trying to have her scare off my nerve-shredding anxiety.
Beth takes a couple big, deep breaths. "Alright." She believes me?! Joy blooms, exploding through me in waves. Beth believes me. I feel hot, my heart still beating too fast. I can trust her. She looks me in the eye again. "Is there anything else you would like to tell me?"
"I..." I don't know. My head is swimming. I can trust her, I can tell her things. What do I even want to say? Do I tell her more about Reena? Maybe she could give me some advice on making up? Or if she thinks I even should? Or what about the adoption? I don't actually know for sure that that's what Eryk is going there for. It's really just my assumption based on what she said she wanted to say before she talked to him. What about telling her how I miraculously know impossible things? Doesn't she have more questions about that? But I have questions too, like about the poison I wanted to ask her about, but this really isn't the time for that!
"I... want..." Maybe what I should do about Mister Fredricson? Now that he knows I don't scar, is he going to be beating me constantly to scare the other kids? It sends a shock of worry through me, but that won't be a problem if I get adopted. Do I ask her if it's really alright for Eryk to adopt me? What about issues with work? And issues with going to battle? But I can't talk about that part with her!
"I... want you to trust me."
.
.
.
.
.
What did I just say?!
Beth blinks. "Wait, that came out wrong!" I flail. "I don't even know why I said that!" I look at Emily, panicking. But she just grins a little. "No, I guess it didn't," I admit. "It's just, well..." I sigh, finally stopping long enough to sort of get my thoughts in order. Then I let it all out.
"Today has been terrible, because no one trusts me. First, I got into a big fight with Reena." Beth blinks rapidly, but doesn't interrupt. The words are starting to come faster. "Ok, I don't know if it's so much trust as understanding with her, but there's something we just can't see eye to eye on, so she tried to force me into something I didn't want, and we got into a really big fight over it and I said some terrible things I shouldn't have said. But she said awful things too because she doesn't believe I can do things right, which I guess is why she tried to push me somewhere I didn't want to go, but I don't even know if I can trust her or if she's just using me. So now I'm like, really worried about how I can apologize or if I even should and how I might be able to come to terms with things with her."
Without even waiting, I plow on, pouring out my worries. "So then we went home, and I was in a really bad mood from fighting with Reena, and we had to wash our room, but I had to move my roommates' things to do it even though I wasn't supposed to touch their things, but I did it anyway because I was in such a bad mood, and they got really mad because they didn't trust me not to steal their things." I take a single big breath, then, "I had no idea they didn't trust me, so it really hurt when I realized they thought that, and that's why one of them got Mister Fredricson, and he beat me. So basically, like I said, all of the bad things today have kind of happened because I didn't really understand the people around me and they didn't trust me, so I guess I just really want you to trust me, which is why I... decided to... trust... you..." My rambling words finally run out, leaving me panting a little.
Beth sits silently for some time, absorbing the torrent of information I just spewed at her. "Huh." Is her reply.
"Huh?" I mimic. Isn't there anything else?
She shakes her whole body. It's weird seeing her do that because she usually tries to act so calm. Not to mention it makes her weirdly big chest bounce around more than looks comfortable. Then she finally speaks again. "It really sounds like you had a difficult day, Aria." She rubs my head and smiles. "Now, do you feel any better after getting all that out?"
"I don't really know... maybe?" It's hard to tell, my feelings are all mixed up and I'm still super nervous about what she thinks. She still never said whether she actually trusts me or not... I guess that would be hard when she hardly knows me outside of me just getting hurt all the time.
"Well, I'm glad you told me about it." Her smile widens. "Thank you for opening up to me."
"You're welcome. Thank you for always helping me all the time." I finally relax, easing my death grip on Emily a little, which makes her grin again.
"I promise, everything you've told me is just between us, I won't tell another soul. Alright?"
I let out a relieved breath when she says that. I... do feel better, actually. Like the heavy weight of the day, crushing down worse with each bad experience, has lifted from me. Like just thinking over and talking about all my worries helps me let them go. It's... a really good feeling. I smile brightly at Beth. "Yes. Thank you for listening."
"So, is there anything else? Anything else you want to get off your chest? Or...?" I think about it, but I don't know. Is there anything else? If I wanted to tell her everything, just leaving out the parts about the program, there are still lots of things I could tell her about, but... I feel like that's enough. For now.
"I think that's good, I'll probably have more to say later, I guess."
"Sure, I'll be here to listen, whenever you're ready."
"Thank you so much, Miss Beth," I bow while seated.
"You're welcome," she responds with a snicker. "Now, you should go back to Eryk's house." She returns a big, bright smile, and I know exactly why. "Wait for him while he sorts out the paperwork."
"Ok," I nod happily, but I still have to ask. "But umm... what's paperwork?"
"Paperwork?" she seems confused for a moment at the random question, but then chuckles and explains. "They're documents that people read and write. It's a pretty general term, so there are all different types. Like contracts, agreements, inventories, balance sheets..."
She shakes her head a bit with a small, crooked grin. "You may not know what most of those are... Here, it also includes things like your medical paperwork." As she says this, she grabs something off of the desk and shows it to me. It looks like a whole stack of pages with writing on them.
"Oh, I think I get it," I answer. So it's basically any sort of written information like that, which would include any contract or agreement Eryk needs to sign to adopt me.
"Sorry, what's this about paperwork?" Emily asks, confused.
After sharing a look, Beth asks, "Should I tell her or do you want to?"
"Well, uhh," I wave my hands a little, not wanting to unexpectedly get it wrong. "I'm actually not totally sure I'm right. It's based on some other information I know, not specifically what you actually said to Eryk." When she doesn't seem to understand my roundabout explanation, I just say, "I'm only like ninety five percent sure of what you said to Eryk. I'd rather you say it in case I'm actually wrong." That unexpectedly makes her grin a little.
"Alright." She takes a breath, then smiles as she announces, "Eryk is going to adopt Aria."
It takes Emily a moment for the shock to register. "Seriously? That's amazing!" She gives me a big hug. It hurts, but it feels really good anyway. Not to mention, hearing the words from Beth's lips removes the last slivers of doubt. It sends shivers of happy bubbly amazingness all through me. I'm getting adopted!
After the first few moments of pure joy, Emily suddenly backs off. "Wait, are you sure that's going to work? Don't you still have all sorts of problems ahead?" All at once, she switches from joy to serious, deep worry.
"Honestly, I have no idea," I admit, still grinning anyway. "But, well, I don't know. It still seems... uhh, exciting I guess?" Is that even the right word for it?
The thought of getting adopted... it wouldn't be like living with Marrianne was, I would be at Eryk's house, right? So everything would be really nice and fancy, wouldn't it? "I... haven't even thought everything through yet..." I realize aloud, absentmindedly pressing my hands to my excited, blushing cheeks. "Would the servants even like me? What would I do during the day? Will I get my own room?" My mind is spinning.
"We would still... hang out, right?" Emily asks quietly. I can hear her trying, but she can't hide the pain in her tone. I meet her eyes, and they say the rest.
"A-absolutely! Of course! All the time, no matter what!" I throw my arms around her. "You're one of the only people in this whole world who really believes in me." I squeeze hard. "I would never leave you behind. I need you."
After a short sniffle, Emily grins. "Of course you wouldn't, what was I thinking?" A small chuckle brings our attention back to Beth.
"What cuties you two are," she continues to chuckle with an amused smile. "Come on, I have another patient, I shouldn't leave them waiting too long. Run along now."
We both nod and start to head out. But I stop and turn around. With one more deep bow, I thank Beth for everything. She returns a small wave as we leave.
As soon as we exit the office, we realize the problem we hadn't thought of. On one side is Nina. Are we supposed to pay her? We don't have any money though, do we? On the other side, there is a rather large and kind of fat man staring at us, totally bewildered, with Taylor sitting next to him.
Looking back to Nina, our eyes meet, and she just gives us a little wave to get going, glancing nervously to the large man who is turning very red and angry. Without any more encouragement, we quickly leave out of the clinic, trying not to run as we flee the building.
As soon as we're in the street, Emily squeals a little. "I knew you could do it, Aria! Getting adopted by someone who owns a large business, I told you you would be able to impress people!"
"Thanks, but I'm not going to leave you behind," I make sure to assure her again, even though all I want to do is scream with joy. "No matter what happens, I want to stay friends."
"Yeah. I mean, even if we won't live together anymore, we'll both still have our jobs, we'll still hang out on the weekends, and we'll still do the hunting, right?"
"Yeah. I'm not sure if I'll need my half of the money anymore, but that just means you'll be able to save more, right?"
"That's a good point," she nods a few times. "Though... I'll need somewhere to keep my money, since I'm still worried about it getting stolen..."
"Right..." I mutter. That immediately brings Eve and Jannette back to mind. Even after I get adopted, I should still go tell them I'm sorry. Even if I don't live with them and don't see them again, I don't want to end things with them like that.
We start walking toward Eryk's house, while halfway across town, Eryk and John are meeting up, thankfully, just before they get too far up North Main Street. I'm glad I told John to hurry.
I let Emily know, filling her in on all the movement I've been following and conversations I listened to while I was knocked out. I make sure to speak very quietly, even though we're in the central district where everything is more spaced out and there aren't nearly as many people packed together to overhear us. Even the people who are here avoid us since we're clearly out of place in this area.
"That's pretty amazing actually, it's like you have eyes and ears everywhere," Emily comments.
"Not really, it's just Chisa and Riko. Chisa is mostly good for following people from above, and Riko is only at the garrison. Like I said, I wasn't sure about Beth asking Eryk to adopt me because I couldn't actually hear her say it. They don't care about a cat at the garrison, but I don't think that would work at the refinery, you know?"
"Huh, that's a good point. Even you can only be in so many places at once," she giggles.
We walk the rest of the way toward Eryk's house, just hanging arm in arm. I still don't know how things are going to work out, living with Eryk. I have all sorts of questions and worries that I can't even imagine how we'll address them. And there's the issue with Mister Fredricson being protected by a noble too. Even after I leave, that might still be a problem for Emily. But I can worry about all of the problems later.
For this one moment, I let myself feel really, fully happy.