"It finally stopped raining, now we can actually go out and earn some money!" I say between bites of food.

"Woah, slow down a bit, Aria," Emily puts her hands up, gesturing for me to calm down.

"Sorry, I just can't believe we had to spend two whole days inside," I grit my teeth.

"Come on, don't worry so much." Her extra emphasis makes me realize that I'm letting my emotions get the better of me. Since she didn't have too much trouble sleeping last night, I took more of the earth mana, and I haven't gotten to converting it yet. I put my head down on the table and it all goes through my mind again. They said about three months back when we turned fifteen. Just rounding to the closest month gives a possible error range of fifteen days in either direction. There are only fourteen days left before the estimated time. I could be called at absolutely any moment from now on.

I try to push away my spiraling thoughts about how I have no time left and I'm totally not prepared. I don't even have any nuvrite, or copper, not that I've even come up with anything anyway!

"Aria, look at me," Emily grabs my face and I meet her eyes. "I know you're nervous about whatever it is, but you need to calm down. Worrying about it won't help. Just focus on what's in front of you and what you need to do right now," she tells me.

"Right..." I shake my head. With a great effort, I push those thoughts from my mind. "You're right." I need to focus on what I have to do, not let myself get carried away by my worries about what comes next. Once I've calmed down, we finish our meal and get ready for the day. Since I don't have much to study, I figure I'll use the time to think of uses for what I've learned. What I need most now are practical, realistic combat uses for the things I've discovered.

I load my metal bars into a small basket while Emily grabs her supplies for hunting, and we head out. As usual, we walk with the other kids to the West Gate. I'm in my new clothes again, with my hair tied up the way Helen thought up. The clothes seem to help, but I feel like my hair is attracting a little attention. The style is strange, isn't it? I'll have to ask her at some point.

We exit the West Gate, then turn toward the southern end of the forest.

----------------------------------------

Today, we travel down the road leading south for a bit before nervously turning to enter the forest. As we approach the trees, I cast a sidelong glance at Emily. She hasn't spoken since we passed the gate. I'm worried about going back to the same area as before. She helped me calm down earlier, but I don't know if she's in a very good condition herself right now. It is her first time coming back to the forest since she was attacked by that monster, she might even be having flashbacks.

Worried, I take her hand and squeeze it tightly to show my support. She smiles a little, but it's clearly a nervous smile. I checked her wounds this morning and they're all healing fine, no need for mana to help anymore. They'll take a while to finish healing normally. She still has some earth mana, but I'm not sure how much it's helping. Besides her restless sleep, she hasn't shown much indication of being scared since the attack. But coming back to where it happened must be making it a lot worse for her, bringing the memories back to mind.

"Are you alright? I didn't take too much mana, did I?" I ask hesitantly. I've been taking a little at a time to help ease her into it, but without much experience actually dealing with the fear over the last few days, I don't know if it really accomplished that goal at all.

"No," she shakes her head. "I'm still alright." I can feel her hand trembling slightly, but she says it will be fine, so I'll believe her. We move deeper into the forest and Maven comes to meet us as usual.

However, something is different today. I don't know if it's just that his burrow is larger, or that I'm scared too after the monster attack, but something is just... off. I grit my teeth, wishing I had nuvrite with me so I could generate lightning mana. I'm sure I'd be able to pick out exactly what my vague feeling means with it. For now, I want to be as careful as possible. I don't know if Emily feels anything, and I don't want to worry her anymore, so I keep quiet.

I redirect Maven silently, asking him to get his friends to scout the area. I don't know what they're looking for though. Maven moves up into the trees above, and I follow his line of sight as he travels stealthily above us. He communicates with his more intelligent and helpful friends, also up overhead, in high pitched cries that I can't hear with my own ears. Then one of them calls that they see something dangerous. I slow down a little, bringing Emily's pace down somewhat by pulling on her hand gently, while Maven rushes that way to investigate.

It looks like the dangerous location is behind us though. Maven leaps into a tree with his friend and looks down. There are dangerous animals moving below. No no, wait, those dangerous animals are actually people! I blink a few times. Why are there people so close by?

"Umm, Aria? You seem kind of distracted," Emily comments.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about something."

"Hey, we've gotten pretty far already, is Maven not coming today?" she asks.

"Well, he's kind of busy at the moment, he might stop by later." Even though the other people are nearby, they aren't so close that they'll be able to hear us, so I don't need to worry about that at least. However, we should be visible to them if there aren't any trees breaking line of sight. I want to be extra careful with Maven so they don't see us with him. There's no reasonable way I would be able to explain that. I pick up my pace again so I won't worry Emily any more than she already is, and keep walking.

Maven and his friends move together, staying at different angles up above the people as they move. They seem to be going in the same direction as us. Once we stop, they'll end up going past us. It was definitely a good idea to keep Maven away for the time being. This is a good reminder to keep an eye on our surroundings so no one spots us together.

When I think we've reached a good spot, I put a hand out to stop Emily from emptying the bait onto the ground. I don't want to reveal anything about how we hunt. Seeing fruit all over the ground as they walk past would be a huge hint. So for now, I tell her that some other people are going to go past and we shouldn't do anything until they've moved on. We aren't about to catch many hobins at this time of day anyway, especially with people walking around near our hunting spot. It'll be better to just wait it out.

So for now, we just sit on the ground and wait. However, the people stop just after we do. Are they waiting for something too? I have Maven move in closer to get a better look while he stays hidden up in the leaves overhead. He looks closely, examining the people below from his hiding spot.

First off, there are three of them, and they're children. Big kids. After some examination, I figure they're peasants like us, with worn out clothes similar to ours. They all have large baskets on their backs, but also carry bows with them. I've only seen a handful of the big kids at the orphanage carry them. From what Emily told me in passing, they're basically just used in case a kid can get a lucky shot at an animal before it notices them. Highly unlikely, so not many kids bother, but it does happen once in a while. This looks totally different though. All three kids are holding bows and they're staying very still while looking around carefully.

Are they hunting too? Does that mean someone else figured out the same method I did after all? But then why are they all staying on the ground? Sure, they're looking around carefully, but just standing there like that, there's no way they would see a hobin before it sees them.

In any case, if they are hunting, it's unfortunate that they chose a spot so close to ours, neither of us will have a productive time while so close together.

I figure if that's the case, we may as well move somewhere else. There are lots of good spots. I tell Emily as much, and we continue walking. But right afterward, the other kids give up on their hunting spot and keep moving too. Still in the same direction as us. I frown, annoyed at such bad luck when I really need to make some money.

When we stop in another good spot, the other group stops as well. I suppose the best way to solve this is to tell them we're over here and ask them to go in a different direction to search for a spot. Emily seems conflicted for some reason, but nods when I tell her my plan. She stays in our spot for now and I walk over to the other group. But they suddenly all split up, running in different directions in a hurry. They dive into cover like they're hiding from something, but neither Maven or any of his friends spot anything dangerous from their positions overhead.

I don't get it. Whatever the case, I arrive at their spot. They're all just out of view, behind nearby trees and bushes, but they're right there. "I'm sorry, we're actually working just a short distance away," I bow in general since none of them are actually in front of me. I don't really want to offend them or anything, asking them to move is already a bit much. I'd rather not, but relocating ourselves didn't work, so this is the next best option I can think of. "If you could please search for a spot in another direction, maybe further north, that would be really helpful." Having asked as politely as I can, I head back to Emily.

Maven continues to watch as the kids leave their hiding spots and... go right back to where they were before. They talk to each other, but they're too far away for him to make out what they're saying. It seems hobins don't have the best hearing. Did they decide to just not listen to me at all? Maybe they don't want to give up their spot?

In that case, all we can do is move away ourselves. But again, as soon as we begin to relocate, so do they. Now I'm starting to get annoyed. This is a huge, stupid waste of time! I walk back over, but they all hide again. They aren't hiding from me, are they?

"I'm sorry, but we're trying to work. Could you please go elsewhere?" I ask, still trying to be polite, despite my obvious annoyance. This time, they all start arguing when they leave their hiding places. But again, they simply do not listen to my request at all and go back to waiting where they were before.

"Emily, what do we do about this? They aren't listening at all," I complain.

"Hmm..." Emily puts a hand to her chin, thinking deeply. "I'm kind of sorry to say this, but I think that's the point," she says with a frown. I shake my head, not understanding, so she goes on. "If they won't move on even after we ask them, and they just keep moving when we move, it definitely sounds like they're following us.

"F-following us?" I gulp just thinking about that. Anyone following me immediately puts me on edge.

"Yeah, they probably want to see how we catch hobins, I guess. Like I said, the method is really valuable. I can completely understand another group trying to steal the information."

I bite my lip. At least that's not as bad as other possibilities, like people related to the kidnappers coming for revenge, or people who somehow discovered my identity trying to... Well, that one doesn't actually make any sense when I think about it, so I discard it with a relieved sigh. If it's just people trying to steal information, how can we deal with them? I've never done anything like this before, so I look to Emily for help.

"I think... First we need to find out who they are. What we can do really depends on that," she explains.

"Ok," I nod. "Three big kids, peasants. They each have a basket and a bow."

"Hmm..." When she doesn't respond, I apologize.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell much more at a distance. Maven can't get too close or they might spot him and try to shoot him..." I sigh.

"Y-yeah, let's not risk that..." Emily mutters nervously and pats me on the shoulder. "We'll have to sneak up on them ourselves, but how to do that when they're watching us?" she wonders aloud.

I think back to my training. How to lose a pursuer. Step one is always to break line of sight. "First we break line of sight," I recite. Then to catch them would require an ambush. So step two would be moving into advantageous positions, and step three would be luring them to our ambush location. "Then we would take position up in the trees, and draw them in."

"O-ok," Emily stammers. It takes a few moments to form a plan. It's a little risky for Maven, but shouldn't be too bad, as long as these kids aren't as good with a bow as a rail unit. Which I can be pretty sure they aren't.

"Come on Emily, stick with me," I say. Together, we start running at a somewhat lazy pace through the forest. As soon as Maven confirms they are following, I have him drop from the trees and move ahead of their group, far off to the side and out of sight.

Once he's in place on their left, I pull Emily past a tree to the right, circling around it to break line of sight. While keeping their locations in mind, I glance overhead. But then I spot some thick bushes around a nearby tree and change directions. We duck down low and quickly move into the bush. This spot will work well. I can hear them speeding up, arriving at the spot where they lost sight of us only moments ago.

They are pretty close now, so I can hear one curse that they lost us. A few moments later, I have Maven dash past them, not too close, but enough that they'll definitely see him. "Hey, there's one!" I hear a girl's voice exclaim. As expected, they move quickly after the hobin so close in front of them. It's dangerous though, so I make sure Maven ducks into a nearby tunnel he knows about, where he'll be safe. A rail unit would put an arrow in that window, but I don't even hear them fire a shot.

The big kids run without thinking for a few moments, right past where we're hiding. As soon as they pass by, I stomp out loudly and shout, "Hey!" I think I have the right to be angry now. I need to make money to have any chance of survival. I do not have time for their stupid, selfish crap. All the kids freeze, turning at my shout. I get a good look at them, but it's Emily who speaks next.

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"Harold? And Linda?" she says in disbelief. "You were spying on us?!" Now I get it. Of course they're kids from the orphanage. Everyone there knows we've been catching hobins every day. These kids must have gotten greedy and thought they could follow us and find out how we did it. The two look down, shame plain on their faces. However, the other boy with them steps forward.

"Of course we did. If you've got such a good method, you have to share it with us, it's only fair!" he takes a step forward angrily.

"No it's not! We figured it out ourselves!" Emily argues back, refusing to back down.

"Who was it that taught you everything you know? Shouldn't you be a little grateful?" That one makes Emily flinch, looking down. That's right, she mentioned it just the other day. She's been living at the orphanage since she was three years old. Just like the big kids taught me how to gather things in the forest, they must have taught her everything. Gathering, sewing, buying and selling things, salting meat... Anything she hadn't learned by the age of three, she must have learned from the big kids at the orphanage, the same way I've been learning everything from her. Of course she must feel indebted to them...

"Exactly, that's what I thought," the older boy says, crossing his arms. Behind him, Harold and Linda still look conflicted, but aren't stepping in. He moves forward, grabbing Emily by the shoulders, and demands, "Tell me, how are you catching them?" Emily flinches. I can see she's in pain, her hands going up protectively to her injured shoulders, and a surge of anger bursts out of nowhere. Before I can even think, I react. Just like the monster attack. I fly forward to protect her.

"Leave her alone!" I shout, shoving him away. I put myself between him and Emily, glaring at him. He stumbles a dozen steps back, nearly tripping from my accidentally overpowered shove. He looks shocked for a few moments, but then it all turns to anger and he begins stalking forward.

"Come on Raph, this is a bit much, isn't it?" Linda says, but he ignores her. He just keeps moving forward, an angry, cocky grin on his face.

"And you. Little miss tough girl. Always causing trouble, but never getting punished. You think you're special?" he growls. I don't know what he's talking about, and I really don't care. He hurt Emily. I take a step forward, clenching my fists.

Behind him, I see the other two hesitating, like they want to step in, but aren't sure. So I look back to the boy once more. Of course he's bigger than me. Probably thirteen years old. He doesn't look that muscular though, and it's not like he would have any training. I move forward, raising my hands, my anger nearly boiling over. I may be so pathetic I can't even fight ordinary adults, but even a worthless failure like me can take care of an untrained child.

Then as soon as we draw close, I freeze. I... can't actually fight him. He's not an enemy, I realize. I stand, unable to do anything. As angry as I am at him, he lives in this city. It's my duty to protect him as well. My hands fall. He hits me. As expected, he has no training, no technique. It hurts of course, but it's nothing much. I deflate, my anger replaced by an odd sense of resignation. As long as he attacks me, everything is fine. As long as he leaves Emily alone.

"Aria!" I hear Emily crying from behind. But I just make sure to stand my ground, keeping myself in front of her. The boy, Raph I think he was called, laughs as he clumsily punches me again.

"Too scared? Can't even fight back?" he laughs and gloats. "So much for your reputation!" I just grit my teeth. No matter what he says about me, it doesn't matter. I don't matter anyway.

"Knock it off, Raphael, you're going too far!" Harold moves forward, grabbing him by the shoulder. Raphael raises his hand up like he's going to punch me again, gritting his teeth angrily with fire in his eyes, but he lets the other boy pull him back a little. I don't understand his anger. What did we ever do to him?

"Come on now, out with it," he still demands as he lets Harold hold him back. I shake my head resolutely. Emily told me I can't reveal the secret or we won't be able to make money anymore. Even if I don't matter, this will be Emily's best source of income once I'm gone. I cannot reveal it, for her sake.

When I refuse, Raphael struggles against the other boy's hand. "You brat! Why are you so damn stubborn? You really think you're that much better than us?"

I have no idea what this boy is thinking. How could I be better than anyone? I glance back. Hearing Emily crying behind me is heartwrenching. I want to end this as soon as possible. I don't want to put her through this anymore...

I answer his other question with a sad smile. "I just want to make sure Emily can keep making good money when I'm gone. That's all."

Suddenly, his expression changes completely. All three of the big kids release long sighs with identical pained looks. Raphael finally shows a defeated expression and groans, as do the other big kids. "How can I argue with that?" he moans. I don't really understand how that convinced all of them so easily, but as long as they leave us alone I don't really care.

"A word of warning though," Harold directly addresses Emily as he speaks. "We're not the only ones interested. There are going to be more, you better be ready. Do you have a plan for after she gets sold?" he asks her pointedly. Wait, sold? By the orphanage? Why would I be sold? No, I don't have time to think about this now.

Emily bites her lip, face streaked with tears as she sits on the ground behind me. She only offers a weak response. "Then I'll find someone else to help me."

"Well... good luck," Harold says. Raphael just looks disgruntled as the other two practically drag him away with them. I stand for a while, watching them disappear into the forest.

"A-Aria..." Emily's wavering voice reaches me quietly. As soon as I hear her, I turn back, kneeling down and wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Are you alright, Emily?" I ask. "He didn't hurt you, did he?"

"N-no, but what about you?! What were you thinking?!" she suddenly yells at me.

"What?"

"Why would you fight a big kid like that? You could have gotten really hurt!"

"Umm?" I don't get it. That wasn't a fight, I just stood there and he punched me a couple times. "But I couldn't fight him," I say.

"Then what do you call that?"

"I was protecting you." That's all there was to it. Just like I was taught, if a person is in danger, I have to shield them with my body.

"Why would you do that?" tears begin to trickle down her cheeks once more. "Didn't you do the same thing before? With the m-monster? Why do you always shield me, even when you get hurt?"

"Because I have to protect you." I have to, and not just because it's my duty. She's already been hurt so much because of me, there's no way I can ever make up for it. All I can do is continue putting myself between her and anything that tries to hurt her.

I don't think Emily can understand though. "Why? I'm supposed to be the older one!" she shouts. "I should be protecting you!" I can't help but smile. She wants to protect me? "What's that smile for? I'm serious!"

"I don't deserve your protection, but I'm glad you feel that way," I just keep smiling a little. Even if it's silly, a person wanting to protect something like me, it feels so nice to hear her say it anyway.

"Idiot, why do you always say things like that...?" Emily just hugs me and keeps crying. While she does, Maven finishes scouting around us and comes to cheer her up. He snuggles up to her chest, licking her face. She giggles. "Hey, that tickles, that's no fair!" But she can't help her giggling as the small creature rubs against her and continues licking her all over.

Eventually, it looks like Emily has cheered up a little. We're pretty quiet and it feels kind of awkward while we set up the bait and take our places above. It's later than I would have liked to start, but at least we only missed the quiet part of the day. I originally wanted to think about possible combat applications of my discoveries today, but now I'm just tired. I can't seem to focus while I wait, and the day ends up passing without me accomplishing much of anything besides worrying Emily and realizing that just continuing to hunt like this is going to keep getting harder...

Today, I stand over Emily as she dresses the hobins and watch carefully for any threats. There won't be a repeat of last time. Even so, just dressing them seems to be hard on her, and she keeps glancing around with slightly panicked looks as she works.

We only bring six hobins back at the end of the day, earning three coppers each. Partly from the late start, and partly because we need to leave a bit early. I need to wash my underwear since I only have two pairs. And I can't afford more without spending most of the money I earned, crippling my studies again.

The first thing I do is break one of the coppers so I can pay back the five nurvrites I owe Emily. That at least gets me the copper and nuvrite I need. When we make it home, I do the washing I need to do, then we eat dinner, and head up to bed as usual.

On the way up the stairs, a hand grabs my elbow gently and I stop. When I look back, it's Raphael and his friends from earlier. What is it now?

"Go on, I'll be up in a bit," I tell Emily. She crosses her arms like she's going to refuse, but I insist. "Come on, don't worry about it, I'll deal with this. Please?" Whatever it is, I don't want her to go through anything else scary or painful today.

"No actually, Emily should come too," Linda says from behind. It's my first time looking closely at her, I didn't have time in the forest. Seeing her again inside the orphanage, I suddenly realize that I recognize her. Isn't she the girl who made food that one time? When they used the hobin fat?

In any case, I push that from my mind and glare at the three of them, especially Raphael. "It's fine, we'll come," Emily says from behind me. I groan, it looks like she's made up her mind. We follow them down the hall, into one of the bedrooms. There are a couple big kids inside, but they leave as soon as we walk in. Whose room is this?

The big kids stand in the narrow space inside, Raphael still in front. I don't know what this is about, but I figure I should be prepared for him to ask us about our hunting method again, with how persistent and aggravating he is.

However, he just stands there awkwardly without saying anything. Then Harold jabs him from behind. "Say it."

"I..." Raphael mumbles. Then he straightens up a little and says, "I'm sorry." Wait, that's it? He's apologizing?

"For?" Harold prompts him.

He looks reluctant, but continues, "For yelling at you."

"And?" Harold jabs him again.

"And insulting you."

"And!?" Linda joins in.

"And for... hitting you..." he looks down as he says it. If you're ashamed now, don't do it in the first place! I'm surprised to find that I'm still so mad at him, even now.

"And we're both sorry for not stopping him sooner. It's our fault for not keeping him in check when he went out of control." Harold apologizes as well.

"We're also really sorry for spying on you and trying to steal your hunting method." Linda also continues apologizing.

They all sound completely sincere, but... I don't want to forgive them. Well, Harold and Linda are alright I guess, but Raphael... I glance over at Emily. Then I clench my fists and growl at them. "Apologize for hurting Emily!" I demand in a low voice.

"For hurting..." Raphael mutters as they all look over at her. "But I didn't..."

"Yes you did! She still hasn't healed from her injuries!"

"Injuries?!" All three of them gasp.

"Emily, can you show them?" I turn to her and ask. I don't know why, but I want them to see for themselves, and I want him to feel bad. I... want him to feel bad?

"A-Aria, are you sure?" Emily has tears welling in the corner of her eyes. Her hands move to her shoulders, like by reflex. Of course she must not want to show those wounds and relive all that pain and trauma again. But then she brings her hands to the neck of her shirt anyway. If I say yes, she will. Raphael will see those terrible gashes he grabbed onto and know just how badly he hurt her.

Why do I want him to see? I know I'm still angry at him about what happened, but why do I want him to feel awful so, so badly? I put a hand to my chest, a knot of tension building as I waver between the urges to hurt Raphael, and help Emily.

I shake my head. I'm not thinking straight. Even without any mana messing with my head, this isn't right. Why am I even considering this? How could I hurt Emily, just to hurt this kid I hardly even know?

But still, I just can't get rid of this feeling... I glare back at Raphael, grinding my teeth together, then say, "No, it's fine. Let's just go, Emily." With a small, grateful smile, she nods and takes my hand. We leave the room and walk down the hall toward the stairs once more.

But Harold exits the room, following us while he speaks. "I'm really sorry about Raph. He's not a bad person, he's just had it harder than most. I understand if you can't forgive him now. But he didn't mean it, really."

I pause briefly to look back at Harold and consider what he said. He's not a bad person? He's had a hard life?

I don't care. Whether he's had a good or bad life simply does not matter to me. I just can't make myself care at all. He hurt Emily, and I cannot forgive him. I don't want to forgive him. I want to turn all my anger toward him. I want him to suffer in return.

"Hmph!" I snort, and keep walking, leaving Harold behind.

For the first time in a while, I cannot understand my own feelings. With everything I've been through, and all the experiences I've had living among people, I thought I knew them all pretty well by now.

But I've never felt this before. This churning urge in my gut, this desire to make someone suffer. Why would I want that? Wordlessly, we climb the stairs, walk to our room, and get ready for bed. I sit while Emily takes the braids out of my hair, use the chamber pot, then we finally lie down in bed. Definitely no bed time story tonight...

Lying in the dark, I can't help my thoughts. I've brought nothing but pain wherever I've gone. Emily just keeps getting hurt and worrying over me. Even when I use myself as a shield, she gets angry and worries about me for doing it. There's no reason for it, I'm just a rail unit. But of course she doesn't know that, she only cares because she doesn't know. What would she think of me if she knew? A death weapon that can't fight. But still ends up hurting others. I can't even fail properly. As always, when I try to step back and look at it objectively, dying really is the best thing I can do for everyone. It's just my own selfishness stopping me.

Then there's the ugly, terrible urge to hurt Raphael that I can't understand.

No. Actually, I suppose it's not that surprising. I'm an awful thing, why wouldn't I have awful, hurtful desires as well? Even my selfishness causes me to hurt others, and that's not even intentional. This is just more of me being harmful to everyone around me. Another reason I should just die.

After what happened today, I can't help but dwell on these thoughts before sleep slowly takes me. It doesn't go well though. I roll around, restless with worry and loathing to the point that I end up waking a number of times not from horrible nightmares, but just simple angst and disgust with myself. Without much earth mana left, Emily doesn't look to be sleeping that well either. It makes me even more guilty, as if I spread my nightmares to her. Of course that just makes me sleep even worse. I cover my head with my hands as I lie in bed. I have to just stop thinking about this.

But there isn't anything to do for it. I just keep rolling around as I attempt to sleep through the night.