It takes everything I have not to respond when Kurt Ordlyn screams straight down at me. Oh gods, I definitely messed up, didn't I? I should have been more prepared to deal with him, I should've... I don't know. I glance to the sides as the other handlers jolt, some taking a few steps back in response to the shout.
Kurt doesn't say anything and just keeps staring at me, totally dumbfounded. A couple of the other handlers come forward. They hesitate, but eventually ask, "What is it? Did it say something?"
"Why were you looking for it anyway?" another questions.
Kurt whirls around and snaps at them. "Mind your own business!" They flinch again, while he visibly reins in his temper. "These are Ordlyn affairs. We don't need the Liffans getting involved. Or the Quans," he adds to one of them in particular. "So just back off." Unsurprisingly, the men all nod frantically, and even back away a few steps. Then Kurt turns back to me again. He continues in the same quiet voice, so they won't hear.
"I need to know more. Where have you been for the last two months? What has Varish been doing with you? Is he keeping you somewhere? Has he said anything else about his plans?"
Showing none of my shock or annoyance, I think back through all the different questions he dumped on me at once, without giving me a chance to answer. "I have been in town." The rest of the questions don't even make sense. What he's doing with me? Where he's keeping me? I only met him one time and really never want to see the awful man again... "I have not seen him again. I have not spoken to him again." I pause, then decide not to answer the other question and stay silent. In part because I don't want to say anything about where I'm staying, but also because trying to explain anything isn't what a rail unit would do here.
Kurt just grunts at my answer. "Gods, what is that bastard doing going after a rail unit..." Then he grabs the basket out of my hands without warning. "Is there anything...?" He keeps muttering to himself while he starts to dig through it. "Filthy cloth, chunks of metal, boxes..." He cracks one open. "is this... wood sap...?" I'm just glad he's barely sparing a glance at the individual objects. If he noticed I have disks made of alba or the black star metal, it would definitely make him suspicious... Then he looks at me. "What is all this crap? Where did you get it from?"
"Items for battle. I got them from in town," I respond unhelpfully. And my bandages are hardly dirty! I've washed them, they're just stained from all the blood I soaked them in... I keep those thoughts to myself and continue to stare up at Kurt, until he scoffs and drops the basket back into my arms in frustration. "How am I supposed to get anything useful out of a damned broken rail unit?!" he demands from no one in particular.
"Uh, sir?" one of the other handlers suddenly speaks up while Kurt is gripping the sides of his head in despair, and draws his attention away from me. "We have to get going, we're going to be late."
"Ugh, fine!" he grunts, and throws one arm out. "Rail units! Into formation! Now!" As soon as everyone begins to move, I turn to do the same, but Kurt grabs the back of my collar and stops me short. He leans down low, to speak quietly in my ear, all the other rail units flowing past on either side of us.
"If you see Quint Varish again, you are to report it to the handlers. Tell them: 'Kurt Ordlyn ordered me to report to him.' And then wait for me to come. If Varish- no. If anyone questions you in the future, you are to tell them that no one has made any attempt to question you about Quint Varish. And do not tell anyone that I've given you these orders."
When he finishes, I respond, "Understood," even though I have no real intention of following those orders. Maybe if I'm forced to for some reason, but otherwise, I really don't care. He stands back up, and as he's releasing me, I catch the words he mutters under his breath.
"What is that lunatic planning, a coup? An assassination? Does he even know it's broken...?" He continues muttering something about 'state secrets' and 'defecting' while releasing me. I don't know those words yet, so I tuck them away to ask about later, and get going. The last thing I catch before I'm too far away is, "I have to warn Uncle." Then I'm at the side of the partially formed up formation, so I quickly shuffle through it, to my spot at the center.
I'm not even there yet when Kurt speaks up, his voice rapidly moving from the side where he was standing, up toward the front. "Rail units, you will go now, and go quickly. When you reach the other end of this path, return to formation and wait for further instructions. Move out!"
With his command, we break formation and head through the door, once more down into the long tunnel that leads to that gate area near the church. Unfortunately, they also obey the command to move quickly. They don't even have to rush, as soon as they put in any effort, they fly down the stairs compared to me.
I'm hardly even partway down by the time the other rail units reach the bottom and disappear from sight. The handlers stuck behind me give up at that point. "Ken, just carry it. We're going ahead," Kurt commands, and most of the handlers push past me down the stairs.
"Why me?" one calls back in annoyance, but the other handlers are already moving away quickly. Growling, he grabs me around the midsection and tucks me under his arm. It's nowhere near as comfortable as how John holds me. Not to mention, this is like how you'd hold a sack of potatoes or something... "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't held us up!" he shouts after the other handlers, even though they're clearly too far away to hear it.
While the handler speeds down the stairs, I let my legs hang limp, clutching my basket to my chest. Despite the position, this is kind of nice. At least I don't have to tire myself out running now...
When we reach the bottom, I'm surprised how far behind we are. The other handlers are already disappearing in the distance, and I can barely see the white of the other rail unit robes at all. Ken takes off running after them, soon huffing and panting with effort. I resist the automatic urge to give him some mana to help. That would be way too suspicious. And he's a handler, so he must be awful. I don't want to help someone like him. So I just let the handler do his best running, all the way down the long tunnel, and up the stairs at the other end.
He climbs, breath ragged and the arm holding me drenched in sweat by the time we arrive, the other rail units already waiting in formation. The handlers are waiting too, panting and out of breath, but not quite as bad as the one carrying me. "Finally," one of them huffs out as Ken sets me down. I quickly take my spot in the middle, Kurt already speaking.
"From here on, you will stay in formation. You will not speak, and you will not move unless I command you to. Now, follow!" he calls. I finally have the rhythm down after the last two battles, about two and a half steps for every step the others take, so I don't bump into the surrounding rail units as we leave the little gated area the tunnel opens into.
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I can't see anything on our way to the church, but at least I can tell when we arrive thanks to the painted ceiling above us, and hearing all the townspeople speaking, their voices echoing all throughout the huge, open building. It seems that we're here on time, because the ceremony passes like the others. The duke, Roger Brennen, makes an appearance and gives a short speech. Like the previous times, it's kind of a back and forth with the crowd, getting the people excited about the king, our country, and winning the war... which seems weird and silly when I think about it now. We've been in a stalemate for at least a hundred years you know...
Then it's time to go. They send us off with cheers that are deafening even after I clear away my water mana. If only they liked us the rest of the time, when they weren't sending us off to die...
Staying in formation as commanded, we march up North Main Street, all the way out of the city. A short way past the north gate, we finally break our formation. As soon as we do, I begin to drift toward the rear of the group, glancing back toward town. As soon as I do though, I see the people in the distance, coming and going through the gate, and rush forward to stay covered by the other rail units. Even at this distance, I can't risk people seeing me. Especially with my conspicuous white hair...
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I fight to keep up, bumping and getting jostled by the disorganized mob of rail units around me, until we've finally traveled far enough, and I can safely drop to the back again, the people near the gate over the horizon. By that point, it's just a short way further, before we cross over the northern bridge, where the road ends. Beyond it, plains stretch on in every direction. I circle around the rail units to get a good view from the front, while they're stopped for Kurt Ordlyn to pass command over to the scout that will lead us to the battlefield.
I don't pay much mind to that since it's the same as before, and instead just gaze at the huge world around us. The grass isn't as bright or green as it used to be, and the flowers are all gone. Even the trees dotted around have lost all their leaves. Winter is almost here after all. Every day has been colder than the last, though I've been fine thanks to my fire mana. I wonder when it will start snowing...
The scout gets us moving while my mind continues to wander, thinking about all sorts of unrelated things. Part of me feels like I should be overwhelmed with worry right now instead. I mean, I could hardly sleep last night, but now that I'm walking out to the battle itself, it's like that worry has vanished. Or maybe I've just gotten used to it...?
Whatever the case, I keep up jogging to match the other rail units' walking pace, slowly dropping toward the back again. I spot Effy doing the same when she slips away from the others, and we both drift closer until we're side by side. When there's some space between us and all the others, I resist the urge to look at her, and just speak.
"I found out the handlers check how much mana rail units have when they return from battle. I wanted to warn you, if you go back with too much it will probably make them suspicious, so you should use up any extra you have. Staying below... twenty thousand should probably be safe, I think. Maybe thirty thousand." She did have twenty five thousand at their last check after all...
"Mm, yes, that's a good idea," she responds in the same flat tone. "I'll do that." There isn't much more to say, so we go on a while longer, in strangely comfortable silence.
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Our entire group keeps up the same quick pace, long into the day. Avara and Hilde start on their way north through the forest too. It takes all day, the mountains to the west jabbing up through the sun as it falls, before we finally arrive near the battlefield.
"You know the drill," the scout leading us says, "when you hear the whistle, go fight." Then he walks off westward. By the time he reaches the handlers, sitting on the same bit of mountain as last time, Avara and Hilde have caught up. Hilde perches on a peak above them, keeping watch over everything, while Avara lies down to rest in a little covered spot out of sight.
Down below their place in the mountains, I sit in the grass with Effy. I take some time to stick my disks together with my mira sap. Then I slowly roll onto my back, and close my eyes to rest. Having to run for an entire day to keep up with rail units is exhausting. I'd never make it if I didn't have my mana...
Effy stays nearby. Even with my eyes closed, I can practically feel the way she's hovering, like she wants to come closer. But she can't do that with everyone watching. It's painful to watch, so I end up making a mental note to contact her after the battle. I don't want to wait months to do it this time, she deserves better-
Huh? My whole train of thought crashes there. That can't be right, Effy doesn't deserve anything. That doesn't make any sense for rail units like us - we don't deserve things. I want things for her, but that doesn't mean she actually deserves them. So why does it feel like she does? Or that she should?
I sit up, sending a sideways look at Effy as she stares off into the darkening sky. When she notices me looking, she meets my gaze, then tilts her head ever so slightly, with a questioning look so faint is barely registers on her face.
My thoughts go straight back to Beth, telling me my life has value. What about Effy? If my life has value, then surely hers does too, right? So, if our lives have value, does that mean we should deserve things, even though we're just rail units? I always thought it was only people who deserved things - not rail units. That everything good in the world was never for me...
No, no, this isn't the time to be thinking about this! As if to agree, the whistle cuts through the evening, and every single rail unit comes to attention in an instant. Effy and I stand, share a brief look, then begin heading toward the battlefield.
I take a few deep breaths. I know what I'm getting into this time, and even though I still can't do anything against a functional rail unit, I'm a bit more confident I can survive, as long as Effy is with me.
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On the last bit of our trip, as the grass turns to dead stone, Effy helps me tie my now much smaller metal disks against my back with lots of bandages. Once they're securely in place, I move around a bit. They aren't as heavy and restrictive as the old ones, but they still pull my balance backward more than I'd like. I wonder if there's some other way I could go about this...? I'll have to think about it when I have more time. For now, I double check which disk is which, passing mana through to memorize them for later, and make sure I have the mana I need.
I'm still holding the special fire and air. To that, I add some of every element, with air and earth having the most, for their life saving effects on my reaction speed and healing. Just have to focus so the air mana doesn't constantly pull my attention every which way.
With all my preparations complete, I drop my nearly empty basket by a particularly large rock. All that's left inside are extra bandages for after the battle, and that little black star metal that pulls everything to it. I ended up bringing it with me, but I never really came up with a use for it, so I decide just leave it for now.
I join the rest of the rail units, all moving into the battle formation laid out by the handlers earlier. I'm dead center. I'm actually glad, it's a pretty close spot to where Effy is. Being the best shielder we have, she's all the way at the front, to protect us from the worst enemy attacks. That puts me almost directly behind her, in probably one of the safest places on the battlefield for me.
When she's about to head off to her spot, she turns to me. "Here, take this," she says. "Release." Her divine gear glows into existence above her forearm, drawing the eyes of the other rail units briefly, before they return their attention forward. We'll be crossing over the last hills any time now.
"Metallica," Effy says, drawing the book from her gear while I watch. It flips open at her side, a couple pages turning, to stop on one in particular. The images on the left and right pages look mostly the same, pretty much just bright stars. They also have 'Lilia' written along the top. Wait, did she make another combination at some point?
My eyes narrow as I glance between the two images. The only real difference I see is with the way the stars appear. On the left, there's a white outline, with a solid, filled in star inside. The one on the right is two star outlines instead. It's the one on the right that Effy reaches for, calling "Lilia," and a bright glow releases from the page to envelope her hand all the way up to the wrist.
When she turns to me, I glance to her divine gear, the mana blurring as it plummets, before stopping at forty three thousand seven hundred eighty nine.
It's been one week, how on Loqa did she spend thirty thousand mana?! She presses her hand to my chest, and I have my answer. That second page - she did make another Lilia combination! This is way more powerful than last time! My breath catches at the sheer power that fills me. It's to a point that the entire world around me feels like it slows down. Even filling myself with air mana doesn't have such a ridiculous effect!
"Effy..." I murmur, just loud enough for her to hear, and her lips twitch into the tiniest smile. With the connection forming between us, I can feel her surprising amount of care for me, and the... almost childlike happiness she has, seeing my response. I can't help but smirk a little, again reminded that despite her adult appearance, she's more of a child than I am. "Thanks." I give a little head tilt to direct us forward again, and we both take a moment to wipe the expressions from our faces, before turning toward the battlefield, to join the others. As we do, the book vanishes, and she summons Catherine, tossing it to me.
We share one last glance, before Effy speeds up to make it into her position at the front.
Unlike the previous battles, we're all in one big group. Because of that, we're much more spread out. Like we learned, fighting side by side would give us the upper hand in numbers, but it's too dangerous when we're all grouped together like this. One big spell could deal a huge amount of damage, which makes it too much of a risk.
When Effy gets too far ahead, I feel the effects of Lilia weakening. Some of extra strength and power slips away by the time she reaches her spot, maybe ten meters forward of me, and a bit to my left.
Ugh, this is the downside of Lilia. It requires you to be close to work. Alongside its insane cost, it's why we don't normally use it. Because being close together is too dangerous. Oh well...
I put that from my mind when we reach the last hill, the huge valley of broken rock and death now lying between us and our enemies, similarly cresting over the hills in the distance, near the horizon. A shudder passes over me, and I swallow hard. Time to fight for my life again.
I'll definitely make it back, to all the people I love...