While clenching down and shutting everything out, one sound slices straight through. The breakfast whistle surprises me enough to wake me all on its own. I open my eyes, lying in bed, suddenly wide awake from the whistle I'm so used to ignoring. I guess I was focusing so much on ignoring everything else that it woke me? I don't really get it.
After just a moment, my strangely non-tired mind moves on to my present situation. I feel as sticky and sweaty as ever, but now I'm hugging tightly to Emily, who also has her arms around me. I'm surprisingly awake. Weirdly awake. Not tired like I usually wake up. It's like the day last week when I slept the entire day before. My mind is completely clear and sharp.
Since Emily still seems to be sleeping peacefully, I don't move for now. She was nice enough to sleep with me so I could get rest this amazing. I'm not going to thank her by waking her up now. I just put my head back down and keep resting. For once I don't feel like nodding off as soon as I close my eyes, so it's easy to just lie in bed for a while longer.
That was the breakfast whistle, so the second bell already rang. The other girls already woke up. They're getting up and starting their days. It seems they wake Emily, because she begins to stir. "Aria, it's morning," she whispers. I open my eyes.
"Good morning, Emily."
"Oh, were you already awake?"
"Yeah, I just woke up." We sit up together in bed and look around. Most everyone has left already, but Eve is still in bed and Jannette is sitting across from my bed, looking at us. We realize we're still clinging together, and quickly jump apart a little. Jannette just looks away, expression unclear, then quickly leaves the room. We both giggle awkwardly. I don't know why it's so embarrassing. Then I look over and see that Eve is lying across her bed, staring at us with a big grin. She jumps up and starts rubbing our heads.
"Aww, you two are so cute! You remind me of me and my little brother when we were younger!" Oh right, that's why. Before either of us can respond, she laughs her way out of the room. We sit on the bed with our backs to each other. I just stare at the ground, still blushing at the thought.
"So, umm..." I start. "Thank you for sleeping with me, I feel really great today."
"Oh, really?" Emily asks. We both turn around, and she gives me a reassuring smile. "You look a lot better than usual. We should... check your wounds... shouldn't we?"
"Sure." Emily is barely containing her terrified panic, but I can already tell, they feel much better. Somehow, it seems I'm healing properly again? I have no idea why, but it's a huge relief. She slowly unwraps the bandages around my right hand. "Woah!" she gasps. The red infected skin has returned to normal and all of the bite wounds have closed. My skin is still a little marked up, but that should be gone by tomorrow. I nod a little; this is what it should look like the day after.
"It's a miracle!" Emily exclaims however. "The gods actually blessed you! Thank you Baro, thank you Shana, thank you Arcanas," she starts rambling off thanks to the different gods. "Isn't this wonderful? You actually received the favor of the gods!"
"Uhh, sure...?" I answer noncommittally.
Emily raises a confused eyebrow. "Why aren't you happy? The gods spared your life you know?"
"Ahh, it's just I'm not really sure if that's it..." She clearly doesn't understand, so I continue, "It's just that this is how I expect my injuries to heal. This is how it's always worked before at least. For me, the way it looked yesterday was really weird." I scratch my head, I don't know if I really explained it well. "I really want to ask about yesterday actually. My injuries didn't heal like normal, and there were a bunch of other strange things and inconsistencies yesterday." Now that I'm really awake and I can think clearly, the strangeness of yesterday is too obvious.
"Well, let's go get breakfast first. We can talk about that in a bit, ok?" Emily asks.
"Ok," I nod and leave the room with her. On our way down, we inform Mister Fredricson that my wounds have started to heal properly. He just grunts and waves us out, but he actually looks relieved too. It's odd, I didn't think he really cared about my health that much.
We arrive as they are serving breakfast, and eat quietly. I'm waiting for Emily to continue from earlier, but we finish breakfast quickly, before she can go on. As we are putting our bowls back, she says, "Come on, let's get ready for church."
"Umm, church?" I ask. "Isn't that tomorrow?" It seems like Emily is reluctant to answer for some reason.
"No, it's today." That doesn't seem right... I quickly trace back over this last week. I became friends with Emily on Arcaday. Learned about social classes on Venaday. Saraday was my last time gathering with the little kids, and Hureday was when I gathered with Jack. Then on Firoday I was... doing something? I'm not really sure, but I only remember waking up for dinner yesterday. That should make today Nuvoday and tomorrow Shanaday. But today is Shanaday? The only gap is the unclear part of what happened yesterday or the day before.
"Actually, that was what I was asking about before. Yesterday, didn't I wake up for dinner? What did I do for the rest of the day? And why was I so tired, anyway? What happened before that?" That part that I can't remember, where it seems like I cut up my hands somehow.
Emily looks away a little. "You didn't really get much sleep, which is why you were really tired and slept yesterday." I nod. That's pretty simple, I'm accustomed to not getting enough sleep, staying in bed for a day sounds like something I would do. Even if I can't remember it for some reason...
"Ok, then what about the day before yesterday?"
"You spent it in bed, but it didn't seem like you got any sleep."
"What?" I don't understand. The day before yesterday, I went gathering in the forest with Jack. Yesterday I was tired and slept. But wait, that's not right. I need to work backward, not forward. Today is Shanaday, not Nuvoday. If I spent Nuvoday sleeping, then the day before that... would be Firoday. I definitely gathered with Jack on Hureday. So what did I do on Firoday? I can't remember that day at all. She says I spent the day in bed? Without getting any rest? So Firoday in bed. Meaning the day with Jack was already three days ago? "So that's where my missing day is... But why? Why did I spend the day in bed? What happened?" I ask. I'm trying to put the pieces together, but my own memory is totally blank. Everything between getting home on Hureday and waking up for dinner on Nuvoday is a blur.
"It's not that important, don't worry about it," Emily says suddenly.
"What...? Don't worry about it?" I'm... I don't know. Shocked? More than shocked, I don't even have a word to describe it. "Emily, whatever happened over the last few days, it probably had something to do with not healing properly. It might also be what's keeping me from remembering the last few days. Whatever it is, I need to know. You said it yourself, I almost died because of it."
"I..." she stares at the floor. "I can't talk about it."
"Why not?" I grab her arms, pleading softly. I don't know why she's so reluctant. I can't remember anything. However, Emily grimaces, her face contorting with pain suddenly. I release her, stepping back. I didn't grab her that hard, did I? No, I definitely didn't. I glance down at her arms. She's wearing long sleeves. In the middle of summer?
When she sees me looking, she hides her arms behind her back. "Don't worry about it," she says before I can even ask. "I just... got a little banged up in the forest." The way she says it, she's obviously lying, but why? She's being so secretive today, I really don't want to push her too much, especially on something unrelated. So I bite my tongue.
"Ok, as long as it isn't anything bad," I say.
"It's fine, just some bumps and bruises," she laughs it off, much more convincingly this time. I still want to ask about what happened the other day, but I'm not sure if there's any way to convince her to talk about it. While I'm thinking, Mister Fredricson comes downstairs and herds us all out.
It seems going to church successfully hasn't gained me any trust at all though, because he immediately grabs the scruff of my neck and drags me along again this week too. With how awake and alert I am today, it's a shame I can't see anything past the crowds around me as we walk.
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We arrive at the cathedral and take our places the same way as last week. The same nice lady from last week is there too. Even though I sort of know what to expect this time, it's still a relief.
While the crowd of townspeople fills the building, I go over what I've learned about the gods so far to keep it fresh in my memory. First, there's Arcanas, The Goddess of Creation and Order. There's Arcaday and... And... I think hard. Arbor. Her month is Arbor, the month where everything starts to grow. It's the third month. Or was it the fourth month? I try to go through them in order. First was... Vent, the first month. Then... month two... It was the one with the storms. That's it, the month of chaos. Named after Herat and storms, so it's Herst. Then the month everything grows, Arbor.
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Just trying to keep that all straight in my head is enough to make it spin. There must be an easier way. Rather than trying to remember the name from the god, then match it to the part of the year, to try and figure out the number, wouldn't just remembering them by number, then memorizing which month is which number work better? From the names, I can work backward to the gods more easily.
So number one is Vent. Number two is Herst. Number three is Arbor. I also remember Saras and Hurena, but their months were somewhere further on in the year and I can't remember exactly where those ones landed. As for the names... I can't bring them back to mind either. At least I still remember Saraday and Hureday.
Anyway, getting back to the original track I was following, After Arcanas, there's Venar, The God of Time and Change. Then Herat, The God of Chaos and Disorder. The first three are pretty easy to remember. Then there's Saras and Hurena, The God of Sky and Weather, and The Goddess of Land and Harvest. Those are the ones that make up the land and sky. Just last night, Emily told me a bit about Shana, Firos, and Nuvo, though I was really tired at the time. I try to think back. Shana, Goddess of The Large Moon and... there was something else, but I don't think she talked about it. Firos is The God of the Sun and... again, we didn't really get into the details. Same thing with Nuvo. God of the Small Moon and something else. She also mentioned one called Baro, God of Health and some other long word. I'm really missing a lot of the pieces from last night. I guess that's what happens when you try to learn while tired.
Still, that's a pretty good to start. I count them off mentally. Arcanas, Venar, Herat, Saras, Hurena, Shana, Firos, Nuvo, and Baro. That's nine of the twelve. Then there was also the God of War and Destruction. I thought of the name Rostor at the time, so that's probably the right name for that one? I use it as a placeholder for now. And then Reena, the one I prayed to in church last time. Eleven down, one to go. Well, that and learning what the months named after all of them are called. And what all the ones after the first five actually represent. I actually have a lot left to learn don't I...?
But I still feel like I've made good progress in just the week I've been working on learning about this. I want to pick it up as fast as I can, it's clearly expected for everyone to know about these things.
It's not much longer before the priests enter and everyone quiets down. The head priest speaks again. I pay close attention to see if there's any more important information I can pick up, but it's pretty straightforward.
He speaks about Venar, and how he says we should spend our time wisely. He warns against idleness and laziness, saying they will offend the gods, and that we must all work to be productive members of society. "Do not devalue the time gifted to you by the gods, lest you may displease them and have your time cut short," he finishes.
Hmm... Both last week and this week, they seemed more focused on teaching what you should do to honor the gods rather than actually teaching anything about the gods themselves. Since I already know the basics about Venar, I guess it's still useful to know that he seems to care about people being lazy and wasting time. It doesn't seem to apply to rail units though, I spent the first five years of my life doing absolutely nothing.
Well, the other argument is that we're all going to die pretty soon, so... I guess you could say our time is being cut short for our laziness? I quickly push away those thoughts after they come to mind. Either way, I have a lot to do and learn in what time I have, so there's no point in worrying about being lazy.
The priests start to go around with the divine totems. One approaches, holding it out to the nice dark haired lady next to me. She touches it, apparently praying silently this time. I guess that's the normal way to do it. Too late, I realize I don't know what I should pray for. Before I even have time to start considering all the things I could pray for right now, or debating the purpose of it at all given that the gods supposedly don't bless commoners, not to mention rail units, or any of the other hang-ups I have with all of this, it's my turn.
So I touch the divine totem with my mind blank. I feel the connection. It's much more clear than last time. Maybe from prior experience, maybe because I'm well rested, maybe because my mind isn't preoccupied thinking about other things. For a few instants, I can just feel the twelve endlessly distant existences connected to the other end of this device. Since I haven't thought of anything, I just repeat what I did last time. "I pray to Reena to please grant me the knowledge I need to survive these trying times." I recite the same same prayer as before, silently this time. Wait, did I say that right?
Apparently it doesn't matter. Of the distant presences, I feel one move. The connection strengthens, while the others fall away. That must be Reena? I still don't know who that is or what they're the god of, but I push a little bit of mana across the connection, like last time. Then there's a tug. I can't tell if it comes from me, the divine totem, or the being at the other end. It comes again, another little pull. I mimic and kind of tug back. It's not like anything I've done before, trying to pull with my mana instead of push it. I receive a strange... feeling of sorts. I think it came from this Reena, but I'm not sure. It seems to have come over the connection though? I don't know what it is. Is it some sort of blessing, or is it something else entirely?
But my time is about up, I've had my hand on the divine totem for the handful of moments I'm going to get. So I lower my hand, severing the connection. I stand quietly while they continue going around and letting everyone pray. Internally though, I'm completely dumbfounded. The strange... thing seems to be kind of swooshing around inside me or something. It's hard to even describe the feeling, how it exists in the same sort of state as my mana, where they bump up against each other. I tentatively poke at it a little, kind of just trying to push and pull my mana to nudge the strange... thing. I can't really do it very well though, since I've never really tried moving my mana around inside me before.
Closing my eyes, it's clearest if I imagine it as a little ball, rolling around inside me. When I clumsily poke at it, it rolls one way or the other. I'm careful not to push too hard with my mana, both because I have no idea what the thing is, and because I don't want to accidentally push any into my divine gear. That mistake would absolutely destroy my current life.
The remainder of the church service passes very quickly while I'm entirely distracted by this new and unexplainable feeling inside me. I'm only snapped out of my puzzled poking when Mister Fredricson begins dragging me quickly from the church. I smile and wave at the nice lady as we go, and she returns it with an amused grin. Soon we're outside, and Mister Fredricson releases me. I rub the back of my neck, which is kind of stiff from him holding it for so long.
The other children quickly collect around us and we start making our way back toward the orphanage. As I walk, I mindlessly nudge around the strange, non-shaped thing, though I can't seem to get anything out of it. It's just... there. It's almost irritating in a way, something separate, kind of just sitting there and bumping around and drawing my attention randomly for no reason.
What is it? Did it come from Reena? It must have, there's nowhere else it could have come from. Was it that pulling sensation? I think it was when I tried that same pulling thing. That seems most likely, but I have no definite answers to any of my questions. The thing certainly isn't helping. Just an unknown thing presumably from Reena, like some sort of formless blob. Reena's blob. I guess I'll just call it 'The Reeb'. I poke The Reeb again. Do you like that name? I ask it. It doesn't seem like it can talk. Or think. Or do anything else as far as I can tell. I heave a long sigh.
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"Aria, there you are!" I turn from my distraction to see Emily making her way out of the crowd. "I couldn't find you outside the church like last time. Are you alright?" she asks when she sees my probably confused expression.
"Uhh, yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about things."
"Thinking about what exactly?"
"Hmm... " I consider the question. "I'm not really sure. Maybe you can help?"
"You're not sure what you're thinking about?" She looks pretty worried about that one.
"Who is Reena?"
"Reena? The Goddess of Knowledge and Wisdom. Why are you asking about her?" She tilts her head at the sudden change of direction. Even her tone is a bit odd. What was with the extra emphasis?
"Ahh, it's hard to explain..." I try to think of a way of putting it, but I can't really come up with anything. There are so many pieces I'm missing, I can't even guess what's actually happening. Even learning that this particular god is one of knowledge doesn't really help. "No wait, I have a better question, but you said Jess knows more about the gods? Can we go find her?"
"Sure, let's head back to the orphanage, I always meet up with them there." I nod and we quickly head back. We go much faster than last week, arriving home before the sixth bell.
Soon after arriving, we meet Emily's friends in the same back room as last time. After we all say hello, Emily says, "Hey Jess, Aria wanted to ask you something."
"Yeah? What is it?" She perks up.
"I was wondering, what are the gods exactly?" Of course, everyone present looks confused, that wasn't a very good question. "Uhh, I just mean, they're always described by things they like, or dislike, or care about, or embody. So are they people? Or some kind of... formless beings or something? Or... maybe something else completely?" I randomly wave my hands around as I ask the last bit since I still don't know if that's a good description.
Jess considers it for a little while. "I would say they're probably most like people."
"Really?" That's a big surprise actually. Something that powerful being like a person?
"I don't mean like regular people," she quickly corrects herself. "I mean that there are a good number of stories where they walk our world, talking directly with the kings and people in power, bestowing blessings, and performing all sorts of miracles. So they must not just be... formless things out there somewhere..." She waves her hands the same way I did, which feels a little silly now that I'm not the one doing it. "That's the best explanation I can think of."
"That's right, I've heard lots of stories like that," Emily chips in. "Like the one where Baro helped the queen give birth, or when Shana brought rain clouds across the desert to turn a town into an oasis."
"There are stories like that?" I ask. Those are way more specific than the vague ideas of blessings bringing good weather or crop yields like they were talking about at church.
"Yeah, lots of them," Andy responds. Then it seems like a thought crosses his mind. "Actually speaking of..." He glances around at all of them, not including me for some reason. "The most important story is the one about Rostor. Do you all know it yet?" Rostor, it's that name again. Tony, Robin, and Emily shake their heads like they don't know what he's talking about. Jess gets very quiet and nods, however.
"Rostor... That's The God of War and Destruction, right?" I ask. The question makes Emily raise an eyebrow slightly, but no one else seems to notice.
"Yeah. I figure you guys are old enough that you should hear this story now," Andy says to the others. "Aria, could you give us some time?"
I gulp. I already have a very strong feeling I know what this story is about. A story children only hear about after a certain age, about Rostor, The God of War and Destruction. "No, I need to hear this." I don't know if it's my tone, but suddenly no one questions me. We all move into a room on the second floor that I assume is Andy's. The beds are bigger than the ones upstairs, so there are only four in his room. We all sit down on the edges of the beds.