This is weird...
I'm walking into the church Shanaday morning, leaning on Emily for support. I got a full day of rest at Eryk's house again yesterday, but I really need to find enough time off my feet if I want my leg to finish healing.
"Now that I think about it, why are we even here?" I ask Emily silently. "We don't have to go to church anymore, do we?"
"Well no..." she thinks back, considering it. "I'd think you would be more religious, but..." Then she has to hold back a giggle, wordlessly thinking about how I'm probably the least religious angel ever. I have to bring a hand up to cover my own mouth at the thought too.
"Oh, even if there's not much point in the service, I did want to get a look at all the gods' marks today," I tell her when I remember. I saw them all in the noble district, but I want to get a closer look at each one.
"Alright, sounds good."
We head over to the corner, where I see Claire standing like usual. "Aria," she greets me, kneeling closer to my height in her dark dress. "I heard about what happened." What happened? What part? So much has happened lately, I don't even know... When I don't immediately respond, she goes on, beginning to look concerned. "Your guardian? Fredricson?"
"O-oh!" That's what she meant. "Right, umm, yeah," I stammer. "Yeah, he's, uhh, gone..." I don't know what more to say, given my lack of feeling about all of that...
"It's fine, I'm sure you'll get by better without him," she assures me as we move into position beside her. I catch her eyes scanning over my injuries, mostly my bandaged arm and hand, but she doesn't say anything, and returns to standing again as more people pile into the church in front of us.
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The service passes as usual, except for having Emily there to support me instead of Mister Fredricson to strangle me. Things really are better...
Even when they come around with the divine totems, I just touch it and pour some mana in for Reena like I have a few times before. Now that I know I have a ton of it, I may as well, I'm sure she can make use of it somehow. "Talk to me after the service?" she asks me during those few moments, and I mentally nod, before removing my hand from the totem.
However, once the service comes to its end, the head priest calls for everyone to wait.
"We have a few important announcements for everyone to hear!" his voice echoing through the huge room. Then there's a short silence, before another voice comes. It's familiar, immediately making me cringe. Quint Varish.
"Good people of Brenton," he calls. "We have two important announcements to make today. First, the owner of the Brenton orphanage has unfortunately passed away." Huh? Why do they need to announce something like that? "For the time being, management of the orphanage has fallen to Karl Liffan." There is a pause and some murmuring through the crowd, but it cuts short when Karl's voice follows.
"Yes, I will be in charge of the orphans for some time. However, I do not have enough time to manage all of them myself, so I am looking to hire caretakers. If you feel up to the job, come meet me after the service. I'll be right over there." He's... hiring caretakers...? Mister Fredricson did everything himself though... Then I think back on the way Karl Liffan acted. There's no way an important noble like that would personally deal with orphan children like us, would he...?
So instead, he's pushing the work off onto commoners...
At least that means he might be around less. The less I have to see him or any other nobles, the better.
"Yes yes, thank you Karl," Varish speaks up again, and the bite to his voice makes me flinch. That's right, he was really angry about Karl Liffan raising my price. "For our second announcement, let me introduce the esteemed Roger Brennen!"
There's a hushed, collective gasp through the whole church, followed by a deep silence, and the boom of a few sets of heavy boots on the smooth polished floor, entering from the southern side of the building. They're accompanied by hollow jostling sounds, like when guards walk in their armor, but... that isn't the sound of metal.
Roger Brennen? The duke who rules the entire city? He's here right now?
The boots eventually stop at the center of the room, then a third voice shouts loudly through the room, deep and powerful, with authority that makes me shiver a little.
"The gods have responded to our ongoing plight!" he exclaims to the silent crowd. I don't know if I should be happy or sad that I can't see the man past the wall of bodies blocking my line of sight. "Here with me..." When he pauses, I imagine he's gesturing to someone else. "It is my pleasure to introduce the ever eminent Dame Catherine Lundrum. Eldest daughter of Archduke Lundrum. Goddess Hurena's newly anointed angel."
What?!
Without any delay for me to come to terms with that, her voice rings through the room, like a hammer to the head. She doesn't even shout, but it's so loud and powerful that my earlier shudder was nothing in comparison. "At Hurena's command, I will scour the beasts in your forests and restore nature to its proper order." That single sentence hangs in the air like a weight. It pulls all the strength from my legs, and I have to stagger a step, pressing my back to the wall to stay upright. Even the people around me are starting to fall to their knees, lowering their heads toward the center of the room where she is.
Is this the power of the higher gods' angels?!
Still half-supporting my weight, Emily starts shaking, her whole body trembling against mine. I swallow hard as I push myself to overcome the suffocating force, with a shake of my body and my mana, then grip Emily's arm tighter to calm her down too.
By the time I've managed to beat back that overwhelming sensation, Brennen is speaking again, but this time, I can hear a strained pain in his voice. "Y-yes, with Hurena's authority, she will certainly sweep away this issue and return peace to our great city!" At his exclamation, there's a momentary, halting round of applause, in random starts and stops throughout the church, but then it picks up, and before I know it, the deafening roar of clapping hands and cheering voices forces me to cover my sensitive ears. I clamp my eyes shut, teeth gritted painfully against the pounding noise until it finally dies down.
While I'm still woozy and leaning against Emily, they dismiss everyone from the church, and the huge room quickly begins to empty out.
"Aria," Claire beckons, waving for me to follow her. After a little shared nod with Emily, we follow her out of the church. She leads us up near one of the buildings of the southern district before turning back to address me. "So..." she starts, almost like she isn't sure what to say, but then asks, "are you ready to continue with classes tomorrow? You seem to be pretty injured..."
"Y-yes, of course," I assure her. "I just need to stay off my feet. I'll keep learning everything I can."
That finally brings a thin smile back to her face, but she tries to hide it with a more stern tone. "Very good. Remember, you are a week behind, so I'll be sending you home with extra work to get you caught up."
I flush a little when she says it like that. "Yes, Ma'am."
"Get going now, girls," she instructs, with a small wave, and we turn to leave. I start to steer Emily back toward the church so I can check the marks and talk to Reena like she asked, but Claire calls out from behind. "Uhh, Aria? With everything happening at the church today, it probably isn't the best idea to go get underfoot."
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"Huh, good point," I think aloud, even as I'm wondering about her strangely uncertain tone. Sharing another glance with Emily, we just shrug. I can just contact Reena through my mark, and checking the other gods' marks can wait until next week, when things aren't so crazy. "Thank you. See you tomorrow, Miss Claire."
"See you tomorrow, Aria."
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"Ugh, now my head hurts..." I complain quietly as we're walking back toward Eryk's house. Maybe I should have cleared my water mana, but it's always a hassle to make more when I'm not carrying my stuff with me. Even as I rub my head with my good hand, there's this weird swishing sound at the edge of my hearing. I hope that noise didn't actually damage my ears, it would be one more thing to heal... I sigh sadly at the thought, which is Emily's cue to rub the back of my head gently to comfort me.
"Yeah, that was pretty rough," she agrees. "Especially that lady, it felt like she knocked the wind out of me with just her voice!"
"Uh huh... that was really weird. I never imagined angels would be that..." I wave my hand a little, not having a word for it. Not just powerful, "Like... overwhelming, I guess." She nods along, clearly knowing what I mean even though I can't put it into words right.
We fall into a quiet walk for a bit, then I give a telepathic nudge to let her know I'm going to talk to Reena while we walk.
Once I reach down to Reena's well inside my mark, I say, "Hi, you wanted to talk?"
"Yes, I have something I've been wanting to tell you," she starts right in. "A few days ago, you did something you shouldn't have done." She pauses. "Do you know what I'm talking about?"
"Something I shouldn't have done? Like, uhh..." She isn't going to bring up the battle now, is she? No, she already said we would only talk about that later. Maybe something after the battle? With the nobles? Would she even know about that? The last time I talked to her was in Mister Fredricson's office. "When I cut off my mark without warning?" I ask. That was pretty rude now that I think about it...
"Oh, no no no, of course not," she assures me immediately. "That was an emergency, of course you had to hide your mark. You did exactly what you should have done there, sweetie."
"Oh, ok." That's a relief...
"So I guess you don't know what I'm referring to...?" she asks uncertainly. "In that case... when you have some time, could you channel your mark? I would like to take a look at your soul. There are some... things I want to check on. I absolutely promise not to make any large changes without asking first."
I blink a few times as I stare off down the street. What in the world is Reena talking about? What might be wrong with my soul? Why? What did I even do that she's referring to?
"Mmm..." I don't know how to answer. She's being evasive again and that really worries me. But she's always like this when she's trying to help, usually when she's being forced to skirt the rules... "Alright, fine," I reluctantly agree. "I figure you're trying to help, but I'll be really mad if you pull something ridiculous like last time," I warn her.
There's a long mental sigh like she's shaking her head. "Yeah, I know, Aria. Thanks for understanding." Then she gives a little nudge to let me know that's all she wanted to talk about, so I draw away.
"What was that about?" Emily asks when she sees me focus on her again.
"I don't really know, she's trying to do something sneaky to help me again."
"Mm..."
"I wouldn't be so worried if she didn't say she wants to look at my soul again," I murmur, getting an agreeing nod from Emily.
"That is..." she trails off before saying 'worrying,' and the conversation falls back to silence on our trip back to Eryk's house. Hmm, even if Karl Liffan holds my papers now, he's already made it clear he isn't actually going to be around much. Maybe I'll end up practically living at Eryk's house anyway...
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"Alright Reena," I think to her, channeling my mark.
I spent the whole rest of the day lounging around Eryk's house with Emily. I don't think I've sat around so much without doing anything since... well, after the last battle, when I literally couldn't move myself at all. Now it's nighttime, and I'm alone in not-my room after Selena tucked me in for the night.
"Ok Aria, I'm just going to check something, please don't worry."
"That kind of just makes me more worried..." I admit, and the goddess sighs because she knows. "Well, I'll get to it. I'll let you know... what I can let you know."
"Ok."
"Done." Huh?
"Wait, what do you mean you're done?" It doesn't feel like she did anything. Then I feel the tick from my gear. Wait, that's not right, the gap between that one and the last was wrong. Did I just lose time somehow, like when I faint? I turn those thoughts to everyone else, but most of them are sleeping already.
"I don't know," Myra thinks, looking up uselessly. She's usually up at night, but even she's bunked down in the forest with Gram and Avara right now. "I can't tell." It's the night of the full moon, but she can't actually see the moons from under the heavy cover of trees, and I wasn't looking out the window to see if they've moved compared to before. But wait, this can't be right, I wasn't aware of my own consciousness disappearing, like what happened when I got knocked out or died. So what was it...?
"Reena?" I ask skeptically. "Did you just... do something?" I'm not sure how to feel toward her right now.
She tries to come back with a soothing reply. "Nothing to worry about Aria, all I did was... kind of... pause you. So I could work without worrying about any complications. I found what I was looking for, but there were some... issues." When she says that, my heart starts to sink. What's wrong with my soul?
"Nothing! There's nothing wrong, honey," Reena immediately jumps at the thought. "Well, nothing... harmful anyway. I was hoping to sort of... nip out any little snags I found, with your permission of course. But I can't do that, for certain reasons. Don't worry, like I said, it's nothing harmful. Just some little, possible inconveniences. They may not even be inconveniences, so there really is no reason to get worried about anything." She just keeps trying to reassure me, which I think is having the opposite effect...
"I'm sorry, Aria. I'm not trying to make you more worried," she responds to my feelings once more. "You know there are things I can't say, that's why I can't get into details, but I give you my word, I did not find any problems. Absolutely nothing that you need to be concerned with. Nothing that will harm you, I promise. And given the... nature of what I discovered, I'm pretty sure you will come to understand some of the specifics at some point in the future anyway. We can talk about things then, alright?"
"Mmm..." She is promising that there's nothing wrong... "Fine. I don't think you'd lie to me if it was a problem."
...Right?
Another wave of panic hits me. I don't know. Reena's definitely hidden things from me before, but I don't think she's ever outright lied to me about anything important. No, I haven't found out about her lying to me about anything important.
Just as I'm starting to spiral down that terrifyingly bottomless hole, Reena grabs my consciousness to stop me. "Shh, it's fine, Aria. I'm here to help you, I would never lie to you about serious issues that could bring you harm. That would be exactly opposite of trying to protect you."
Right, that makes sense. Of course Reena wouldn't knowingly go against her own interests, that would be stupid. That finally calms me down, and I try to draw a few larger breaths to slow my panicked heart.
"Alright, sorry."
"No no, you don't need to apologize, Aria. It's my own fault that you have your doubts. You never have to apologize for how you feel."
"Mm..." that sounds kind of familiar. "Beth told me something similar," I respond when I recall it. "She said I didn't owe my feelings to Mister Fredricson because he died..."
"Yes, she's right. You don't owe your feelings to anyone. They are your own and no one has the right to demand you feel a certain way, not even me." Her voice is like a silent whisper in my ear. We sit for a little while, and I just enjoy her company while everything she said sinks in.
"Hey," I eventually speak up again when something finally clicks. Reena, having followed my entire train of thought, isn't even trying to hide her apprehension. "Earlier, you said you... paused me. None of the others were aware of it." She doesn't say anything, just letting me voice my thoughts. "Doesn't that mean you paused all of me? My soul in all of them too?" Again, her silence is confirmation. I don't know what more to say for a while.
So, if someone gets access to your soul, they can get to your whole soul, no matter how many different places you put it...? I've hardly even had those thoughts register when I mumble the next out loud. "What about you? There's a piece of your soul in me now. Isn't that dangerous?"
Reena finally speaks. "Yes."