"Mnnghhh..."
"Come on, wake up..."
"Mrrnnghmnnn..."
"Aria..."
"Mmmmmm..." There's more shaking, and I slowly raise my head.
"There you are, little one."
"Oh, hi Marrianne."
"What are you doing, sleeping in a place like this?" she asks.
"Where am I?" I stare around for a bit. Tables, chairs... "Is this the dining room?"
"Yes..."
"Huh." I stand up from my chair, finding that my face and back hurt from how I fell asleep at the table.
"Aria, are you alright?" Marrianne asks, and I notice that Zoe and Ami are also standing nearby.
"I'm fine." Yeah, today feels alright.
"You don't sound like yourself though, why did you fall asleep out here?"
"Mm, probably because I ate that one food. Now I feel really calm."
"W-what? One of those noble foods you have a reaction to?" she stammers at me.
"Yeah, one of those. But this was a good one, it made me feel so calm, it's nice. I'm not worried about everything now."
"Oh, sweetie..." Marrianne murmurs. "How long do you think it will last?"
I shrug. "I don't know, I've never eaten it before. The other ones usually last until mid-morning." At least that's based on the couple other noble foods I recognize and don't have bad reactions to, so I eat them without issue. Still, that means I can feel this way for a while longer. "Mm, nice," I comment.
Marrianne holds her head and sighs. "Come on, ladies, she sounds pretty out of it. I'll get her up to bed for now, you two start cleaning. Start with the entryway, that looks the worst from last night."
"These kids always drag in the dirtiest stuff," Ami sighs briefly, before grabbing Zoe and pulling her from the room. Then Marrianne scoops me up in her arms and carries me upstairs to bed. She frowns down at me and comments about me not having a blanket on my bed, so I tell her that I normally sleep with Emily, and go climb into bed with her.
That brings a little smile back to Marrianne's face, before she leaves the room. Snuggling up with Emily, I sigh. This really is nice. Warm and comfortable, without any of my normal worries. No pain. It's not all that long before first bell, but we have church, so I don't have to get up as early as usual today. I close my eyes and easily drift off into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.
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"Aria, time to get up." Emily is shaking me lightly when I rouse. Looking up drowsily at her, I want to go back to sleep. Sleep feels so good right now... "Come on, Aria, time for breakfast," she prods me again.
"Ok." I sit up and rub my eyes. She's looking at me funny though.
"Are you alright?" she asks, sounding worried.
"Yup, I'm good."
"You sound... different."
"Oh, that? I ate something last night that made me really calm. Now I feel fine."
"Mmm... I guess that's fine..." She sounds like she isn't sure though. Oh well.
We head downstairs, and I sit and let myself breath. It's peaceful. Kind of like meditating, but all the time.
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After everyone else eats their breakfast, Zoe makes mine, then Marrianne stands right next to me as I eat, telling me not to eat anything else weird today. She mentions that she's worried I might do something like that because of how I am right now.
I mean, I guess she's right. I don't see any problem with eating other things like the one last night, as long as they won't have adverse effects. But she tells me not to, so I do as she says. As it turns out though, none of the foods in today's breakfast are special ones, so I finish the bowl without issue. While Marrianne rubs her temples worriedly, I just go and sit with Emily for a bit, until we leave for church.
When we get there, Claire leans close to me and asks if anything is wrong.
"Nope." Why is everyone asking that? Marrianne and Emily explain what I told them earlier, and even Claire looks a little put-off for some reason. I don't get why everyone is reacting like that when I actually feel good for once.
I stand through church, staring at the back of the person in front of me and letting the words of the priest wash over me. Just liking every moment of my life now that I don't feel bad.
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It's when I get to the clinic and Beth sees me, that someone finally says something rather than just looking vaguely worried.
"Aria, I understand that your present state may... seem like a good thing, but that's only because you aren't in your right mind. The only reason these effects do not worry you is because they have taken away your capacity for worry," she says pointedly.
"Oh, I get it." It makes a lot of sense when she says it like that. But even if I understand it logically, I still don't feel it. "But Miss Beth, is not being able to feel worried really that bad? This is pretty much the first time I've ever not been afraid of dying in b-" Just as I start to say that, Emily leaps from where she was standing and tackles me out of my chair.
She ends up on top of me on the floor, panting, with wide eyes. What was that about? "Aria, you can't talk about that!" she snaps at me.
"A-are you two alright?!" Beth stammers, quickly coming over to lift us up. "And what was that about dying?!"
"Nothing, it's nothing," Emily claims, then addresses me. "Aria, even if you can't worry about what will happen if you tell her about that, you know it would be bad, don't you?"
"Well, yeah." Of course it would be bad. Pretty much the end of my life. "So?"
"So don't tell her!" she shouts at me.
"Fine." I guess if she doesn't want me to... Still grumbling at me, Emily pulls me up from the floor, and Beth quickly begins looking me up and down for injuries.
"That was reckless, Emily," Beth scolds her as she works.
"I'm sorry, Miss Beth..." She holds a hand up to her head. "Still, not as reckless as Aria right there."
"Because she can't worry about the consequences of her actions," Beth fills in. "Whatever it was, it hardly called for you tackling her like that..." Emily shakes her head, and Beth just keeps frowning at her for a few moments longer. Then she straightens up when she gets it.
"Wait, you're referring to her revealing the big secret she's always been too afraid to share."
"Yeah," Emily huffs grumpily, arms crossed over her chest. "I'm not about to let her blow up her life because she ate the wrong food."
"Come on, aren't you exaggerating a little? Aria always makes such a big deal about it, and I know it involves the nobility somehow, but it can't possibly be that bad, can it?"
Frowning up at Beth, Emily holds me and answers, "It took her eating funky magic food that removed her ability to fear consequences to be willing to tell you. What do you think?"
"That's not an appropriate tone, young lady," Beth scolds her. "But... a fair point, I suppose," she sighs out after, and sinks back into her seat. Emily lowers her gaze at the scolding, but keeps holding onto me protectively.
As they're saying all this, I start to frown a little, some feeling starting to poke at me. It is about time, I think. "Hey, I think that food is starting to wear off," I tell them. "I think I'm starting to get worried about Miss Beth talking about this..."
"Seriously?" Beth wonders aloud. "That's the very first thing you feel?" She leans over in her seat, running a hand through her blond hair a few times, before finally addressing me again. "Aria, this thing you can't tell me. If you were to compare it to your other worries in life, where would you place it? All the way at the top?"
I don't even need to think about it. "Yeah." Second would probably be hurting the people I care about, like Emily and Reena. And dying in battle is... somewhere below that. It's actually not quite as bad as the others. Still really scary, but not so bad since I've already died once... Just more present all the time.
Beth picks up the chair Emily knocked over, gets it upright again, and sits me back down. "Alright Aria, I've seen how poorly you reacted when we spoke about this before. Whatever it is, you have always been too wrapped up in your own fears and worries about it to even discuss it properly. I propose we at least take advantage of your current state to talk about these things, alright?"
"Mmm..." Emily grumbles as she moves closer to my side, defensively.
Beth puts up a hand. "Don't worry, I won't pry into her secret, I only want to know why she is so afraid of sharing it. Just talking through those fears while they aren't overwhelming her may help her sort out her own feelings about them."
Hearing her put it like that... She's always helped me through my other feelings before, so maybe it's a good idea. Using this opportunity while we have it. "It's fine, Emily. I can kind of feel why I can't tell her now, so I won't say too much."
She still looks worried, but quietly bobs her head anyway.