"Aria?! What happened to you?"

"Mmm..." I mumble when I hear a familiar voice.

"And Emily, don't sleep like that! What's going on?" Huh? I squint my eyes open. I guess I fell asleep. Shaking myself a little, I sit up in bed. Looks like Eve and Mary just walked in.

I take a moment to stretch. My arms are kind of tingly, I guess because I fell asleep in a weird position, with them hanging off of my bed. The feeling goes away quickly though, and I turn back to the girls who have stopped short in the doorway. "Aria came back today. She got really hurt, but she doesn't remember what happened." I stick to the story Francis came up with. Everything will be easier if we all stick to the story. "She'll probably need a while to heal though," I frown when I think about that.

"I see..." Eve walks over to Aria's bed and looks down at her. "Well, as long as she's fine, that's good, right?"

"Yeah," I nod, "as long as she's fine." I remember the conversation with Francis. I push it away. She'll be fine.

After watching Aria sleep for a few long moments, the girls move on, collecting their things. I guess they're heading to the market? "Hey, did I miss lunch?" I ask when I realize.

"Mm, they should still be eating," Mary answers, though she seems a little unsure.

"Thanks, I'll go then." I nod to the other girls before quickly heading downstairs. Since I left so early, I didn't eat breakfast and my stomach is grumbling. When I reach the dining room, everyone has started cleaning up. I quickly grab a bowl of food and start to eat while I still have a chance.

However, I shudder at the flavor. While Shanaday lunch is usually the best meal we get in a week, it's pretty much cold already. As I take a small taste, I realize that the fire mana that has helped me pick apart the tastes of all the food I've been learning about this last week is now working against me. They pan fried it with a little bit of oil, which helped to bring out the flavors of the vegetables more than usual, compared to throwing it all in a pot and boiling it. But now that it's cold, and those flavors have turned gritty and bland. The soft vegetables have gotten all mushy, while the hard ones have lost most of the tenderness cooking them introduced.

I'm really hungry. I know I need to eat, so I fight to choke it down.

This... this is disgusting...

I feel sick to my stomach after shoveling down the food. As I stand up, I actually feel my stomach turn, my body shuddering with the sudden urge to throw up. I force it back down, holding my hands over my mouth as I heave involuntarily a few times. Tears sting in my eyes. I haven't eaten anything today and there won't be any more food until dinner. I have to eat what I can, when I can. That's how I've survived these last four years. But still...

After I put back my bowl, I go into the kitchen and drink a few cups of water to wash away the taste still stuck on my overly sensitive tongue. As I stand there, the other kids milling around for a bit after lunch, I can't help but look at the kitchenware. Today's meal was made by big kids who have been cooking for us anywhere from a few months to a few years. I've only been training for a week, but couldn't I already make better food than that?

...

Could I?

If I ignore how disgusting it was eating it cold, it wouldn't have been that bad hot. I'm hesitant. I've never made food all on my own. If it was just me, could I do it well? Since Eryk and Beth's advice is still rolling around in my head, I come to a decision pretty quickly. I'll test myself.

I turn away from the kitchen and begin heading toward my room. For now, I'll listen to Beth. Let's go for it, and see what I'm capable of. Maybe that will give me the answer I'm looking for. Unfortunately, I'm interrupted by someone calling me to the door. When I head over, it turns out to be John, here with Aria's lunch. The kid at the door looks back and forth between me and the well dressed bodyguard a number of times while John hands me a small bowl of food for Aria.

This might be awkward after all, I realize as I thank him. Someone from a higher class coming here like this is bound to start bad rumors around the house. John gives a small wave and leaves. I'll just keep that in mind for now, since there's nothing to do for it.

I put my plans on hold for a bit, going and feeding Aria briefly, before setting the wooden bowl with the included spoon on the floor near her bed. I guess he'll pick that up when he comes back.

With that finished, I return to my original plan. I'll challenge myself, to see if I can cook. I go over to my bed and get my things. First is a coin purse. I have an uncomfortably large amount of money stashed under my bed, hidden in a bag inside another bag. I've been making so much these last few weeks, I don't really know what to do with all of it. For now, I take a handful of coins and put them in the coin purse. Then I take Aria's metal ingots out of my basket and pile them under her bed so I can use my basket. When I see her white rail unit robes there, I glance around nervously. But of course there's no one else in the room, they've all gone to the market already.

Even so, I quickly roll the robes up into the smallest ball I can and shove them into a little bag, up against the wall, under the pile of bandages, under the metal ingots. It was a couple weeks ago now, but everyone in town was at the church for the Summer Solstice. Everyone saw the rail units wearing these white robes. She'll need them for when she goes back again, but they're way too dangerous now that everyone has seen rail units wearing them.

Not to mention, what about all the people who saw her wearing them her first few weeks here? They were really dirty and not too distinctive most of the time, but there were at least a few times that she wore them while they were white and totally recognizable. All the kids at the orphanage saw them, and even Mister Fredricson. But no one has said anything. I wonder what they think about it?

She did completely change her look when she stopped wearing them, so maybe a lot of the kids didn't make the connection, but that can't be true for Mister Fredricson... I can only sigh. I'll find out later. But that does remind me that I need to talk to him about John coming with food for her.

Finishing up under Aria's bed, I pat her head lightly. "I'll be going out for a bit." Her hair has already darkened to a dull grayish color from her sleeping on it for a week. I guess that won't be recognizable soon either. "Here, just in case," I mutter, and place a nuvrite and iron coin in her hand while she sleeps. If she wakes up and needs to talk to someone, she'll need to regenerate her earth mana. It almost seems like a waste of the incredibly valuable iron coin, but she might need it.

I grab my basket from the floor and throw the straps over my shoulders so it sits comfortably on my back. Then I check myself over. If I'm going shopping, all I should need is money and the basket. When I look down at my clothes though, I realize I should wash them tonight. Especially if I do end up deciding to go back to the bar tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is Arcaday, one of the days Matthew did say I should come to work. As I nervously realize that, I go down to the second floor and head to Mister Fredricson's office.

When I ask about John bringing food, all he does is clarify that John is Eryk's personal bodyguard. He doesn't ask anything beyond that before agreeing and shooing me from the room.

I didn't know what to expect, but dealing with Mister Fredricson is surprisingly easy where Eryk is involved. I guess that's what he was talking about, Mister Fredricson being 'overly class-conscious.' I'll keep that in mind, I might be able to use that to my advantage at some point. Even though I get overwhelmed by Eryk too...

From there, I head out the door and begin walking toward the market where we normally sell things on the weekend. I've been going to the central market with Aria to sell hobins every day since it's along the way home, but the smaller market in the northwest District is so much closer and easier to get to.

When I arrive, I look around at the stalls. There... isn't much food to buy, is there? Of course there is some of the common stuff, but not the same sort of variety that the central market has. Which makes sense. Only peasants would come here to shop. It's not even as big as a couple of the others I know of scattered around the district.

Besides, we collect most of what we eat in the forest, and buying things costs a lot more than we sell them for, so there usually isn't much reason to buy food. The only real reason I can think of is if we need more than we can collect ourselves, like for a family maybe.

So I go around to the stalls to look for food. I've never bought any before, of course. There was nothing I could do with them except sell them, since I never made food. Now that I'm going through to buy, I see exactly how expensive they are. Potatoes, which we sell for a single tin, cost five to buy. Hoffas that we sell for 2 tins, cost a whole nuvrite coin. As I stare at the prices, something feels off. Some sort of disconnect. I finally realize what it is.

Was all of this always so cheap?

I brought a handful of coins with me since I didn't know how much I would be spending. I have about five coppers and maybe a dozen nuvrites. I'm only going to make one meal, so I'll need maybe five or six vegetables at most, and wood to cook with since I can't use the orphanage's stock. Even if each one is a whole nuvrite, the cost at the end won't even be close to one copper. With the handful of coins I brought, I could buy a whole lot of food, couldn't I?

"Emily?" When I think about it like that, I realize again just how much money I've been making hunting. One hobin sells for more than it costs me to make a whole meal. More than a day's worth of meals, probably.

"Hello?" At least I won't have any trouble affording the food. For once, money is actually not much of a concern. Things have really changed lately, haven't they?

Suddenly, I'm aware of a hand waving in my face. I jolt a little, looking to see that it's Robin.

"Wow, you ok? You were seriously spaced out," he comments. That's right, didn't someone just call my name before? It didn't even register. I shake my head.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about something." Looking past him, Tony is here too. I don't spot Andy or Jess with them though.

"Ok." He just shrugs a little. "So what are you up to?"

"I'm buying some things." I open my mouth to say more, but stop. Telling him I'm challenging myself to see if I can really cook feels kind of weird and embarrassing. "No Andy or Jess today?" I ask instead.

It doesn't seem like he noticed my hesitation. "Andy's still selling things, but I haven't seen Jess since earlier."

"She said she had some sewing to do, so she stayed home today," Tony jumps in.

"Oh." I look over toward the normal stall, where I spot Andy not far from the counter.

"So where were you last week? We didn't see you at all."

"I've been kind of busy..." That's right, I completely forgot that I didn't meet them last week, with everything that happened. I look down a little, feeling kind of bad about that. I should make it up to them somehow. Actually...

"Hmm..." I mumble a little. Maybe I should cook for them. That would be a nice apology, right? But what if my cooking is no good after all? That just makes me even more unsure.

"Hey Emily. Is something wrong?" I look up, pulled out of my thoughts as Andy walks over. He leans down to look at me with a worried expression.

"N-no, it's fine!" I stammer. But a moment later, "Well. I was wondering... Can I cook something for you?"

"U-umm?" He backs up a little.

"Oooh!" Tony and Robin call out together.

"That's not what I meant!" I shout immediately. This time I manage to control the explosion of anger, so I only thump Tony and Robin on their heads. "Well, I guess I did word it badly..." I mumble once I've calmed myself a little.

I know usually women cooking for a man is supposed to be something they do for their lovers or husbands, but that's between adults. I'm not even ten yet! What sort of stupid things are going through their heads? Dumb boys...

I sigh and try again. "What I meant was, I wanted to cook something, and I felt kind of bad that I was busy last week and didn't get to talk to any of you. So I wanted to give you guys some of the food I cook." I didn't want to tell them all of that, but I also don't want them to misunderstand this time, so I just ignore my embarrassment and explain my reasoning.

"Aww, that's sweet," Andy says with a grin. "Sure."

"S-sure..." Both Tony and Robin answer less confidently while rubbing their heads.

"But Emily... Can you cook?" Andy asks.

"That's... what I'm trying to find out." I answer honestly. The three older boys tilt their heads a little like they don't understand, but I just vaguely wave it off. "I'm buying some ingredients now. I'll see you at home, ok?"

"Yeah, we'll see you there." Andy answers, waving as the boys walk off.

After they disappear into the crowd, I look around a little again. I'll need some more ingredients to feed everyone, but that should be fine. The real question now is... what do I actually make? What do I know how to make?

I go over it a little. I more or less know how the stew and pan fried vegetables are made at the orphanage. And from the bar, I mostly know how to make porridge, which is mostly just roughly ground grains soaked in boiling water, with a few other things added in. Then there's Matthew's veggie bread, which is basically flour, water, and egg, with tiny chopped up vegetables added in.

That is all I know so far... Is there anything I can make with the ingredients they sell here, based on what I know? They have a few different kinds of vegetables, potatoes, and plenty of flour. I don't see much fruit, but those always get weird and mushy when cooked into our food, so I'll avoid them anyway.

I look at the wheat for a bit. They farm tons of it in the fields to the south, so it's probably the cheapest thing there is. I can buy a five kilo sack of it for a nuvrite coin. But there's not much I could do with it like that, is there? I mean, I could grind it up so it would work for porridge, but don't see much else here to add to that. There's some barley, but I can't quite remember what other ingredients go into the porridge, so that's no good.

Wheat flour is more easily usable, but it's five nuvrites for that amount. It's more expensive, but still dirt cheap for the quantity. Even serving food at his bar, I think Matthew only goes through a few kilos per day. I'll definitely have a ton left over. But it gives me a good point to start from.

Does that mean I'm making veggie bread? Even if it's not as good as Matthew's, I could probably make something at least sort of similar. But isn't this supposed to be a test of my cooking skills? Not just to see if I can sort of duplicate something someone else taught me, but to make food of my own.

So I won't go with his bread. Instead, what do I think will taste good? That's a hard one, I've hardly had any food that I actually thought tasted good, basically just what I've eaten at the bar.

Fine, I'll work with what I know. I'm making bread. What do I think, based on how bread tastes, that would make it taste better? Probably something savory... Looking at the options available, they don't have anything like villvi mushrooms, which I think might be good. I end up settling on hazalia. They... aren't all that savory, are they?

Still, thinking about their kind of squishy, spongy insides, maybe they will work in bread? Since that probably won't do much for the flavor, and I can't find anything savory here, I pick up some frenin and lacet instead. If I grind the herbs up, they'll probably at least smell really good mixed together with the already pleasant-smelling hazalia. I also buy a couple eggs. I still don't understand why they help when making bread, but Matthew said they do.

Standing near the food stalls, I sigh a little. Will the bread be good enough? I couldn't really get anything to put in it that I think will make it taste that good. It's going to be more of an herb bread than a veggie bread like Matthew makes. I just hope the hazalia will make it a little softer. Since it always takes a while to cook, the outsides are pretty hard by the time the insides are cooked.

Matthew puts a little water in the pot and covers it with a lid to help soften the outsides a little, but I don't know if we have anything like that at home, so I'll probably have to cook the bread in a pan. Won't it get really hard like that?

I hold my head, worried about how this is going to work. Maybe I could cut the bread into small pieces so it cooks through faster? Then it might not be rock hard by the time it's done, right? But can it even be called bread at that point?

Actually, does it have to be bread? I feel like I've already strayed so far off from what bread is supposed to be, why not just do whatever I want? If I think about it as some sort of hopefully soft herb bread dough thing, what could I do with that to actually make it taste good?

If it has a mellow herb flavor, how about I put it with something different? There are some reshlan for sale, they're really salty and have a strong acidic flavor. I have no idea what that might taste like with some sort of herb bread though. I try to imagine the flavors, but I can't really do it. I just have to hope they work together, I guess.

Now, how am I actually cooking it? I figured I would need to do the dough in a pan. Matthew told me how oil keeps things from sticking when frying in a pan. They do that at home for Shanaday lunches too.

Matthew mentioned you could get it out of some fruits and vegetables by squeezing it out, but... which ones? The soft ones maybe? I feel like there shouldn't be anything to squeeze out of the leafy ones or the hard ones, so I go over to a stand where they have some cotta fruit. They're pretty small. They mostly grow in the later half of summer, so it's pretty early in the season for them.

Still, they're a pretty soft fruit with lots of juice inside. But I wouldn't really say the juice is like oil, is it? I've eaten a few of them before, so I'd say the juice is more like water. Will something like this work?

I don't really have any better ideas, and I don't see them selling gerrow fruit or anything. I feel like those might work, but they only really grow in spring and fall. With a sigh, I buy a few of the cotta fruits. I have no idea how this is going to work out.

I also end up grabbing some hoffa. I'm pretty sure they'll pair well with the reshlan. Then some firewood to cook it with, and I'm finished. As I thought, even buying food to feed a number of people, along with my own firewood and the cotta fruits to hopefully substitute for oil, I spent one copper and five nurvites. And that's with five of those nuvrites for the huge bag of flour.

Normally this would be a lot of money for a single meal, just going by how much we normally make, but I have plenty left over, and I want to do everything I can right now.

With my ingredients and wood all piled up in my basket, I quickly walk home. I should have plenty of time, the eighth bell hasn't even rung yet. As soon as I get back, I get to work. The first thing I do is draw a few buckets of water from the well and dump them into our big water jug in the kitchen.

Once I have the water I need, I drag a chair over into the kitchen while lots of kids eye me suspiciously. I just ignore them. I start to pile up the firewood in the hearth, small kindling and sticks on the bottom and larger pieces on top, like I learned when I was young. While I'm working on that, Andy and the others come over.

"So... what are you making exactly?" It only takes a glance to see him eyeing my pile of ingredients warily.

"Umm..." I can't really answer that. It's just a random assortment of things I came up with after all. "Just something I came up with," I finally answer, completely honestly.

"Well, I guess we'll give it a taste when you're finished." Despite his obvious worry, he smiles encouragingly.

"You don't need help with anything, do you?" Jess comes forward and asks.

I figured they would tell her once they got back, so I just answer, "No, I'm going to see what I can do myself."

"Ok."

"Just let us know when you're done, alright?" I give Andy a small nod in response, and my friends slowly leave the room.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

"Let's see..." I mutter. Before I start doing anything, I wash my hands. Like Matthew always tells me, you absolutely can not work with food if your hands are dirty. So I pour some water in a bucket and scrub them as best I can, over and over, until they don't dirty the water anymore. I have to draw a second bucket of water, just to be sure, but it's worth it when I'm done.

My hands are completely clean. I can feel the other kids staring at me like I'm weird, but I don't care. This is definitely necessary. After dumping the dirty water outside, I can get to work.

For my very first step, I gather up the things I'll need. A couple wooden bowls from the shelves along with the kitchen knife we use, and the metal pan, which I set on the hearth so it's over where the fire will be when I light it.

Matthew said you want the bread dough to rest before cooking it, so I'll start with that. First I grind up the herbs, then add the hazalia. I use the knife to crack the hard shells, then scoop out the soft insides with my fingers. I mash it in with the crushed herbs until it looks like a kind of weird paste. It smells really good though. Thankfully, all three of them actually come together well. In my other bowl, I pour in flour and water.

Matthew said to use equal quantities, but I don't have any way of measuring them. He always does it by eye anyway, but he knows what he's doing. The best I can do is to keep adding water into the flour until I think it looks like the right sort of sticky consistency it is when he makes it.

Then I pour in the herbs and hazalia, and mix it all together as well as I can. It looks like it worked pretty well though. I see little bits of herbs throughout, and it seems like the hazalia sort of just melted into the dough or something.

The next step is kneading it. Matthew always puts it on a clean counter with flour on it, but our counters are definitely not clean enough for that, are they? After thinking about it a bit, I grab the metal pan. Since it gets washed out whenever we use it, it's probably the cleanest thing we have here. I put it on the counter, drop some flour into it, and start to knead the dough. It doesn't go very well. Matthew always does this part himself, so even though I know you're supposed to fold it over itself, I'm not used to actually doing it. And the dough is so sticky that parts of it keep breaking off and sticking to my hands.

"I'm supposed to flour my hands too, right?" I rub my hands into the flour and after some effort, I manage to get the dough off again. I put the bits back into the ball of dough, in the middle, and try to knead it again.

"This is hard," I grumble as I work. My hands are too small to really grab it well. Matthew was able to just grab the whole thing, pick it up, throw it around, and do anything he wanted really easily whenever I saw him working on it.

I can't do that, the ball of dough is so much larger than my hands. All I can do is struggle to knead it as well as I can. Eventually, it has stiffened up enough. It sort of looks like it does at the bar, I think. I set it aside for now, back in the bowl it started in. The eighth bell went off while I was kneading it, so I think I'm making pretty good time. Just looking at it sitting in the bowl, I think it doesn't look that bad.

Turning my attention away from the dough, I move onto the next step. That would be... the vegetables, I guess. I only have some reshlans and hoffas. At least I know the salty reshlan and sweet hoffa flavors should be good together. I was thinking of chopping them up small earlier, but first I need to wash them. Matthew always tells me to wash off fruits and vegetables before using them to get off any dirt on the surface because it will ruin the flavor of the dish.

I grab a bucket of water, the vegetables, and the metal pan, and head outside. First, I dump some water in the pan, using it to wash out all the leftover flour. Then I dunk the vegetables into the bucket, one by one, and scrub their surfaces as well as I can with my hands. It isn't much, but a few little specks of dirt do come off of the outsides, and I give a small nod. Each time I finish one, I set it in the metal pan.

Once more, I dump the water when I'm finished, and carry everything back inside. Matthew has a big jug to dump all the dirty water in at his bar, so he can just dump it all out at the end of the day, but I need to go outside each time.

When I get back to the kitchen, I finally realize I'm going to have a problem. I should have stopped to think about this earlier.

I'll need the metal pan to cook the vegetables. They'll take longer because they're hard, so I need to cut up and add the bread after. But I'll already be using the metal pan to cook the vegetables, so I'll have to cut the dough on the counter.

With a small sigh, I set down the metal pan and go up to my room to grab a rag. I briefly check on Aria, but she's just sleeping. It's good she has so much earth mana or she wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully like this. With a small smile, I grab the rag from under my bed and head back to the kitchen.

I have an audience at this point as I stand on the chair, using my rag to wipe down the kitchen counter. With another half-filled bucket of water, I repeatedly soak and ring out the rag until it runs clean, then go back to the counter and keep wiping it down. Like with my hands, I end up repeating the process until the water finally runs clear.

It takes five times wiping down the counter before it's finally clean. I guess it isn't that surprising, I doubt anyone ever cleaned it before. But once it's finally done, I go and quickly draw a few more buckets of water from the well, since I already used more than I expected, and refill the water jug again.

"Hah," I sigh, wiping away some sweat as I dump the last bucket of water into the jug to fill it to the brim. With that done, it's finally back to the food. I pile up the vegetables on the nice, clean counter, and start cutting. The kitchen knife we have is pretty big and heavy for me, but I'll have to make due.

However, I run into a problem the moment I try to cut through the first reshlan. It's so hard! After fighting to pull the knife back out of the vegetable, I check the edge.

"A dull knife is a dangerous knife." Matthew's words replay in my mind. The way he explained it, no matter how dull the knife gets, it will still cut you. So when it doesn't cut the food and you have to push really hard, it will end up slipping and you'll cut yourself really badly. Our kitchen knife is completely dull, so there's no way I can use it, I'll end up taking a finger off or something. I set it down on the counter with a sigh and go get my own knife from my room.

I wipe it down and wash it off as well as I can, but it's not really the best sort of knife for this. Even when it's well maintained, it's not the sharpest knife since I've always used it for cutting branches and animals. It's a thicker knife, to deal with those things, so the blade isn't as sharp to begin with, and everything it's used for tends to dull it pretty badly compared to something like a vegetable.

With that in mind... I don't know if it's fortunate or unfortunate that it's still a better blade than our kitchen knife. Has that thing ever been sharpened?! I have to take a while to cool my rage at Mister Fredricson for having the kids use that to cook every day, before I can continue working.

I'm still not completely comfortable with how much force I need to use to cut through the vegetables, but at least I don't think I'm going to kill myself like this. Not to mention, I'm still not that good at cutting vegetables. It isn't that hard and I have lots of experience from working with animals, but figuring out how to hold them so they don't slip or anything is still new to me. Since I have to work slowly and carefully with the less than ideal knife I'm using on top of that, I don't finish cutting up the vegetables until after the ninth bell.

I let out a quiet breath when they're done and my fingers are still intact. They're all piled into the second bowl I have, the one I ground up the herbs in earlier. With another look back at the dough, it looks like it's dried out a bit. But it also seems a little larger, which is odd. I give it a poke, but it pretty much feels the same as before. With a shrug, I move on.

It's finally time to cook. Once more, I run up to my room to grab my ignium. It's just a small piece, like most people have for starting fires. I strike the back of my knife against it, scattering a few bits of the soft metal around the wood. The metal ignites after a few moments, quickly lighting the kindling. I give it some time. First smaller twigs, then the slightly larger pieces of wood on top will catch fire as well.

While that is getting started I use the time I have to examine my cotta fruit, intended to be a substitute for oil. I have a few of them, just in case. To start, I cut one open. They have big, light brown seeds in the middle, so I'm careful to only cut partway through until I hit the seed, then I pry the fruit open around the seed. Once I can reach it, I pull the seed out and look at it. It's sort of soft, and I give it a gentle squeeze before setting it down on the counter.

Then I cut a small slice off of the fruit. I give it a squeeze, the liquid immediately coming out and running down my hand and arm. As I do this, I can feel all of the eyes burning into my back. They must think I'm crazy, I realize, and roll my eyes.

"Hmm..." I drop it on the counter, licking some of the juice off of my hand. It really is pretty watery. A little tangy, and definitely not slippery like oil. Will this really work? Won't this make it more like boiling it than frying it? Is the seed any better? It's kind of soft too, so I try giving it a squeeze. It squishes a little in my hand, but nothing comes out. If it's squishy like this, shouldn't there be some liquid in there?

I try cutting it open. It's so soft that once I push with a decent amount of pressure, the knife slides right through and some liquid immediately spills out. I quickly turn the halves over so they'll hold in any liquid left inside. I wipe up some of the creamy white liquid it released off of the counter and rub it between my fingers. It's a little slippery like oil. This might work. I lick a little off of my finger and shudder.

Not a very pleasant taste. It's kind of bitter and sour. This won't mess up the flavor of the food if I use it, will it? Well, there isn't much, so I could probably mix it with the watery liquid to get something usable.

I glance over at the fire. It's mostly ready. So I move the metal pan from the counter onto the hearth to start heating.

Now I'm on a time limit, I have to get the food in the pan before it overheats.

I grab up the soft seed halves and pour the little bit of oil into the bowl with the vegetables. I give the seed a squeeze to get more oil, but it squeezes out some of the flesh of the seed into the bowl.

"Urgh," I grumble when I realize I can't just squeeze them or I'll get flesh. I pull the bit of flesh back out and wrap the seed in the cloth I used to clean the counters. I give it another squeeze and the cloth mostly holds the flesh in. I think I get a few specks that push through the cheap cloth, but just that bit should be fine. I quickly do the other half of the seed, then the rest of the fruit the same way, for the juice.

I give it a quick stir with my hand to get the oil and liquid all spread throughout, then carefully pour the cut up vegetables onto the hot pan.

The immediate searing sound is really satisfying, but it reminds me I need to keep turning the vegetables so they won't burn. My hands are still covered in cotta fruit juice and oil, so I quickly grab some water, run outside, and splash it over my hands to clean them off. Back in the kitchen, I move the chair over so I can reach the shelves, and grab the wooden spatula I forgot to get earlier. I immediately use it to stir the vegetables around in the pan, turning and flipping them for a bit.

Thankfully, it looks like I was too worried. With the amount of juice, they are sort of sitting in it, the raised sides of the pan holding the liquid in. I wouldn't exactly say they're boiling since the watery liquid doesn't cover them completely, but they aren't going to fry like this either. At least it will keep them from burning, I guess.

While they keep cooking, I push the chair back over a little and get back up on it so I can keep working at the counter. I pull the dough out of the bowl, onto the countertop. It sits in fruit juice from earlier, but that's fine. It'll be cooking in the juice anyway.

I spread it out a bit so it's a little more flat, then use my knife to cut it into small strips. I do it carefully, to keep it all together, so it takes some time. At least it's easy to cut through, and it doesn't stick to the knife too badly either since it sat and dried for a while.

Once I've gone over the whole length of the dough, I put my knife down and go to stir the vegetables again. The sweet and biting smell coming off of them has already filled the whole room. It doesn't smell like the oil is messing with anything at least, I can't pick out any bitterness in the scent.

"Mmm..." I mutter a little as I stir them around. It looks like a lot of the juice has cooked off, there's only a little left in the pan. I consider adding more, but decide against it. It kept the vegetables from sticking and burning, hopefully just the oil will work from here.

Still, I quickly go and cut open another cotta fruit seed and squeeze out the seed oil into one of the empty bowls, in case I do need to add more oil. Then I keep working with the dough. Despite my small hands, the wet counter actually winds up helping me turn the dough in place. I spin it so all of my cuts from before are horizontal now, and start cutting again, to get squarish chunks. It's a little more tricky this time because the small dough pieces want to stick to the side of the knife, so I need to keep brushing them off as I work.

I go back and give the vegetables another stir. When I poke them with the wooden spatula, it seems like they're starting to get soft. Almost all of the juice is gone now though, so I pour some of the oil over the vegetables and push them all to one side of the pan. The rest of the oil goes in the other side and gets hot while I go back to the dough. Since I don't have anything better, I quickly put all of the dough pieces back into the other bowl so I can carry them to the pan. I hope they don't stick together too much.

As soon as I get back to the hearth, I start rolling the dough out into the pan, using my fingers to try and break up any pieces that stick together. I move quickly to get them all in the pan, putting the bowl back on the edge of the counter as soon as they're all in so I can stir. I use the spatula to break up the dough, rolling the pieces around in the pan so they get coated in the hot oil. After waiting a bit, I give the whole thing a big stir, mixing the dough in with the vegetables.

It isn't long before the smell of the bread dough mixes with the vegetables. I can immediately make out the strong smell of the lacet and frenin. Both powerful, smooth scents that are immediately relaxing.

That might actually help a bit. It makes me realize how nervous I am for the first time since I started working on this. I take a slow breath and try to relax my tight muscles before continuing to stir.

Oddly, I can't really smell the hazalia anymore. I forget, does its smell go away when you cook it? Whatever the case, I just keep stirring all the food together for a bit, watching the bread dough cook. Only... what is it doing?

It's definitely getting bigger. It isn't really browning and getting hard on the outsides like I expected. Instead, the little squares of dough are puffing up more and more as they cook. It also looks like they're soaking up the red color of the reshlans as they all cook together. They're turning a little pink.

"What in the world..." I mutter as I continue to cook the food. I have no idea what is happening to this bread. It doesn't even really look like bread at this point. The puffed up dough pieces which were supposed to be similar sizes as the chopped up vegetables are now much larger. And pink. At least it smells really good.

I glance down at the fire, it still looks good for now. But I don't really know how long I should cook this, with these weird things that have formed. I give some of the vegetables small pokes with the spatula. They definitely feel tender, I don't think I should cook them much more than this.

With a small gulp, I grab one of the dough puff things. I rip it in half to see how it looks on the inside. It's... Uhh, I don't know. I can't tell if it's cooked or not. It's not pink like the outside at least, but it still kind of looks like a dense, uncooked dough, rather than a sort of broken up appearance like bread has. I put a little bit of it in my mouth, and my eyes go wide. It isn't anything like bread, but it doesn't feel like uncooked dough either. I have nothing to compare this to.

Shaking it off, I try to recover my composure. I grab bowls for everyone from the shelves, put a spoon in each, and scoop the food into the bowls.

Then I scatter the fire in the hearth so it will go out.

I know other kids around are watching, so I turn back to ask someone if they can get my friends, and freeze.

It isn't just that everyone in here is watching me. Everyone is in here to watch me. Dozens of eyes stare at me, and at the food behind me. Is half of the orphanage here?!

Immediately sweating under their intense gazes, my voice catches in my throat. I'm not used to this much attention on me.

Looking around at the crowd, they all look a bit odd. Like they don't know whether to drool over what I've made, or be worried by it. Which is understandable, I don't really know either.

I finally force my voice out. "Can... can someone go get Andy?" I don't know if they're really listening, no one seems to move. "Umm..." I shrink back a little. It almost feels like the ring of watchers presses in when I do. Feeling them all looming over me, it's kind of scary...

"Oy, out of the way!" a voice suddenly calls out, cutting through the overwhelming crowd. As soon as they break apart, it feels like the suffocating presence eases.

Coming into the small ring of space around me is... that older boy. I open my mouth a little, but I forget his name. The one that was spying on us in the forest. The one that hit Aria. Why is he here?! He looks at me with a small, apologetic expression, then Andy breaks through the crowd behind him.

"Hey Emily... Are you alright...?" he asks uncertainly, glancing between me and the crowd.

After a little hesitation, I nod. "Y-yeah. I'm fine. The food is ready." As long as I'm not alone and surrounded, I'm fine.

"Ok, let's go." He grabs a bowl in each hand, so I follow behind and do the same, but there's one left. "Can you carry that one, Raphael?" Oh, that's what his name was, I remember vaguely. He grabs the last of the five bowls.

Then Andy forces his way out through the crowd, with me in the middle and Raphael behind. We make it through the crushing kids on all sides, and arrive in the dining room. My other friends are already sitting at a table in the corner, waving. I run over toward them, unable to express my relief after that sudden, terrifying turn of events. Even now, that crowd is staring at us with an air of jealousy hanging heavy over them. It sends a small shiver up my back.

But now that they're all the way over there, it's nowhere near as bad. Still, I set the bowls down in front of Robin and Tony, then take a seat all the way in the corner, as far from the crowd as I can, with my friends between me and them. Andy takes a seat across from me, putting one of his bowls down in front of Jess, next to him. I blink a little, but the last bowl comes down in front of me. I look to the side and see Raphael setting the bowl down. He gives a small smile, then starts to walk away. I guess he's sorry for what he did...

As he walks past Andy, Andy catches his sleeve. "For saving Emily," she says shortly, and picks up one of the strange pink bread puff things with his fingers, handing it to Raphael.

That earns him a small smile. "Thanks." Then Raphael keeps walking. I can't even say anything, he did sort of save me there. I just hang my head, leaning onto the table with an exhausted feeling. Both from the work and the shock afterward.

"I guess you can cook after all," Andy comments with a small smile. "But uhh, what is this exactly?" Of course he points at the pink puffs.

"I... have no idea. It was supposed to be bread originally, but it ended up getting further and further from that as I went..." I try to chuckle, but everyone just looks a bit worried.

"Bread..." Jess mutters, staring at it intensely.

"Well, let's eat, before it gets cold," Andy says seriously.

"U-umm!" I struggle to speak up as they all lift their spoons. "Actually, I was wondering if you could give me your opinions. Whether it's good or not." I get myself to say it, but I end up staring down at the table, blushing from ear to ear at the thought of them reviewing my food.

I mean, it's not like I expect it to be really good or anything. I have no idea what it will end up tasting like with all the weird things I threw together. I've only been learning for a week. But... do I have any potential at all?

"Sure, let's see." Andy gives a small nod and scoops up some of the vegetables. Everyone else follows, taking a bite of the food. They chew a little, all tilting their heads. Without saying anything, they all take another bite. Does that mean it's good? Or bad? Well, they're eating more, aren't they? I scoop up some too and take a bite.

It's weird.

I find myself tilting my head in confusion, just like they did. I take another bite. The small chopped up vegetables mix together in my mouth. It's kind of sweet like I thought, and salty, but what happened to the biting flavor of the reshlan? Instead it has a kind of strong tart flavor, which seems at odds with how sweet it is. It's a weird flavor that doesn't seem to make sense. It can be sweet and tart at the same time? Besides that, I can pick out the bit of bitter and sour flavor added by the cotta oil, but it's slight enough that no one else should be able to taste it. That just leaves the strange flavor. Is it good? Bad? I don't really know.

"It's weird." Tony is the first to speak.

"Yeah, definitely weird." Robin agrees.

"Weird." Andy chimes in. "I don't think it's bad though."

"I like it." Jess says quietly. I almost cry out in thanks, before she adds, "It's weird, but I like it." At that, I hang my head.

Five out of five. Everyone thinks it's weird.

I take another couple bites. I focus closely on the mixture in my mouth, relying on my overly sensitive tongue to pick it apart. When I get the tart flavor, I roll it over my tongue, closely examining it. Then I manage to pull the pieces out. It's that tangy cotta juice. I can just barely tell how it soaked into the vegetables, changing the biting flavor and making it more tart. So that's how it happened... From there, If I look past the flavor itself, the vegetables are too mushy, I definitely overcooked them while I was messing with the bread puff things.

I've figured out how it came out the way it did, but that still leaves the question of whether it's good... The overcooked vegetables are a negative, but this flavor... As I take a few more bites, I have to agree with Jess. I kind of like it. It's hard to place why. It's kind of like my tongue is getting used to the tartness as I eat it, so it ends up making the other flavors a little better.

It's... not bad. I don't think I would call it good, but it isn't bad. One by one, everyone agrees. Not bad.

After that, everyone ends up eyeing my weird pink bread dough puff things... I really want to know what happened to these, so I encourage everyone by taking the first bite myself. I bring one up to my mouth, but they're too big to eat in a single bite. Probably two bites each.

I sink my teeth through it. I got the same impression when I checked if it was done earlier, but... It's nothing like bread. It's soft, kind of dense and doughy, and my teeth sink right through it. I don't need to pull it apart like bread. It hits my tongue and my first impression is:

Weird. I want to cry as I chew. Is everything I cook weird?

The dough itself doesn't have that much flavor, but I can pick out the added flavor of the egg and herbs. Even if hazalia normally has a mild flavor, I can't taste it here at all. I wonder what happened to it? But much more strong than those is the biting flavor of reshlans. I can tell that the flavor of the reshlan soaked into the puff balls. I guess that's why they turned pink, from the red reshlan color seeping into them.

I didn't know that would happen, and I don't think the flavors work together very well... The bite is just too overpowering compared to the mild flavor of the herbs and wheat flour. I sigh a little. It's only really soaked into the outside a bit so most of it is alright, but I definitely messed up the outside. That's before I even consider the texture. Soft. Doughy. Puffy. It's nothing like any bread I've ever eaten.

It's supposed to be kind of rough and chewy, right? These seem like the opposite, all of the dough is all pressed together, smooth and dense. So how did they get all puffy? Still, as weird as it is, I actually enjoy biting through them. The smooth feel of them is pleasant and actually goes well with the herbs, anywhere that the reshlan didn't soak into them at least.

While I'm slowly eating the puffs bit by bit, everyone else works up the courage to try them as well. After some time eating silently, they all voice their opinions.

"Weird." It's unanimous. Everything I cook is weird after all.

"But not bad," Andy suddenly adds. One by one, they agree.

"Not bad, not bad."

"It's kind of fun to eat." I beam around at my friends. My food isn't bad? They actually like it? They keep eating at least. I do too, though I have to fight back a rising urge to cry with joy.

So I actually have some potential? That's all I can really think about as we finish up the meal and I say goodbye to my friends for now. I go back into the kitchen, now cleared out, and clean up, like when I work at the bar.

I quickly grab everything up, using some water to wash out the metal pan, spatula, and bowls. Then I wipe down the counter one more time to remove any of the sticky juice I got on it. Once everything is all nice and cleaned up, I top off the water jug one more time before heading upstairs.

I lie back down in my bed for a bit. All I can think is that I have some potential. If I try, I can cook too. That finally turns my thoughts back to my future. I went through with my challenge to myself. I cooked, and it wasn't bad. That should help me decide what to do, right? I've figured out that I can cook. So does it answer my question, should I try to become a cook? I stare up at the ceiling.

Well, no. Not really.

Just because I can cook doesn't mean I should dedicate my life to trying to become a cook. Some part of me hoped that challenge would give me my answer, but now that I'm lying here, it's obvious that was wishful thinking.

There's just no way I can make such a hard decision like this.

I drowsily lie in bed for a bit, until I vaguely remember that I didn't get to wash my clothes last Shanaday. So I sigh and haul a few sets of clothes down to the well. It's already pretty late, I only have about a bell of time left before curfew, but I mindlessly wash the clothes in the time I have, staring off into the distance as I work. What am I going to do...?

The night ends no differently. I listlessly eat dinner, feed Aria when John arrives with food, and settle in for the night.

Even though Aria doesn't need help sleeping anymore, I end up climbing into bed with her anyway. Normally, it's up to me to help her. But now, her small, warm body is really comforting as I slowly drift off.