"So, where are we going now?" I ask as we begin moving through the central district.
"Taking you home, right?" Francis answers, like my question was weird. He looks down at me as I rest in his arms.
"Umm, what time is it?" Now that I can move again, I can't help but think about something troubling.
"Not long after third bell," John replies, carrying Emily.
"It's Shanaday, right? Aren't we going to church?" I look over at Emily, who flinches in John's arms.
"Church? I never took you for the religious type," Eryk comments.
"Mister Fredricson said we're supposed to go to the church on Shanadays." I answer to hide my true intention. I... really have to talk to Reena again.
"Really?" He looks over at Emily who is already sweating with guilt.
"I... kind of forgot to go the last few weeks. I think he's been overlooking it because of the circumstances," she answers uncertainly.
"We're definitely going to get yelled at again..." That's all I can say after that. Emily gulps and looks away.
"I see..." Eryk rubs his chin. "Are you really well enough to stand for the entire church service though?"
"Hmm..." I think about it hard. If I had some fire mana... But I don't have anything with me. No, I could borrow some from Emily, right? I look over at her when I realize it, asking with a look, and she nods. "Yeah, I should be able to," I answer Eryk.
"Well, I guess there's no helping it then. Francis, can you take them? I have some other things I should take care of, since I have the time now." Then he frowns slightly. "I don't want to put things off too long. Can I come by tomorrow morning? Like I said, there are some important things I want to talk to you about."
"Sure, let's talk tomorrow," I agree immediately.
"That's good, we'll talk then." He starts to turn, but stops, like he just remembered something. "Oh, John will be by with food later, as usual." With a small wave, he walks off. John sets Emily down before following. We all wave back briefly while they disappear into the morning crowd.
Once they're gone, Francis speaks quietly. "You said that, but your real reason..." Now that it's just us, I nod. They both know about Reena, so they know I should talk to her again. Even though she gave me that vision, I still ended up dying. Sure, I just barely cheated my way out of it by reviving myself, but I spent two whole days dead... "Even though I did what she said, I failed," I say quietly.
Emily looks confused, asking, "What do you mean? You couldn't have failed, you came back."
I shake my head. "Like I told you..." but I trail off before saying it. There are too many people around to mention something like that. "I'll... say more when we're alone."
"Ok..." Emily responds worriedly. We move through the crowd at a slower pace, now that Emily has to walk beside Francis, weaving through the streets that seem to be picking up in activity quickly. Since it's after third bell, it looks like everyone is already up and about today. On the sides of the street, women can already be seen throwing out chamber pots, sweeping, or washing and hanging laundry outside to dry.
I don't usually get to see things like this around the orphanage, but lots of people chat together around the wells we pass by. I guess people in the central district are more sociable with their neighbors. Or maybe it's just because we live at the orphanage that no one comes near us?
Since we're already down in the central district, we aren't far from the church, situated in the middle of the southern district, just above the road between the southeast and southwest gates. And directly across from the gate into the castle area.
It's an odd feeling, being able to track our progress through Chisa's sharp eyes high above the city, despite not being very familiar with the area. We soon arrive at the main road leading south and begin to follow it until we approach the church. Once we draw near, we wait in the grassy field near the path. There's no one around here, just a handful of people going past from time to time as the fourth bell and the beginning of the church service draws nearer.
We sit a little way from the path, long lines of sight allowing us to see that no one will overhear us here. "So?" Francis raises an eyebrow. "You said you failed? But if I remember right, Reena said..." his face scrunches up a bit as he recalls, "'if you fight, you'll die' or something, right?"
"Yeah," I nod just a little. I gulp. "I failed. I died."
"Umm..." they both tilt their heads. That wouldn't make any sense normally, would it...?
I take a deep breath, glance around one more time, then explain. "After the battle, I... I died. I cheated and had my friends bring me back to life, but I was dead for two days." They both open and close their mouth a few times, but obviously can't come up with any response to the shocking information.
After a long time staring at the ground, like he's trying to wrap his head around it, Francis finally looks back up at me. "So that's what happened... But what do you mean? When you say your friends brought you back? You don't mean the... others." He's doesn't directly refer to the rail units, even though we're alone. But I shake my head.
"No, not them. You met Maven once, remember?"
"You mean that, uh, small animal?" Francis responds in a quiet voice. "That was a hobin, right?"
I nod. "It's really weird and kind of hard to explain, but I found a way to sort of... take over animals, I guess. They're the ones who revived me."
"Huh..." He scratches at his messy hair.
"For instance, that one is Chisa." I point up overhead, to where she is sailing high above the city.
"That bird?" Francis asks, squinting up at her.
"Yeah. Watch." To show what I mean, I have her do a few vertical loops as she flies. "See?"
"Hmm..." he just mumbles incomprehensibly, looking sort of concerned. "Alright then." His tone makes it sound like he doesn't really understand. "So you got them to revive you?"
"Yeah. I used mana to get my body to heal enough and restart my heart, but the time I spent dead cost me almost all of my mana."
"Cost? How?" Emily asks this time.
"Well, from what I saw, when a living thing dies, the mana in their mana well disperses. Once it's all gone, the well collapses, so there's no way to bring them back anymore. It took me so long to get my body to work again, almost all of my mana dispersed. I barely managed to revive myself with a few moments to spare. So almost all of my mana was gone. It's definitely recovering, but right now I only have a small fraction of what I did before."
"I see..." she says with worry written all over her face. "So that's how it is."
I nod to both of them. "So... that's how it went. I did what Reena told me, but I failed anyway. I want to talk to her again. I don't really know what to say, but I definitely need to talk to her again."
"Yeah, that makes sense," Francis agrees. "If she's been guiding you, that's probably important." Since more people are beginning to approach the church along the nearby path, we know it's almost time to go, and end our conversation there.
"Oh, can I?" I ask Emily, reaching for her hand.
"Sure," she agrees, already understanding what I want. With a smile, I touch her hand and pull some of the fire mana. I immediately feel a little more energetic. This should be good enough to stand through the service.
When we spot some of the orphans approaching along the road, we all get up and walk over. Of course we draw some gazes, but soon we spot Mister Fredricson among the orphans. When he sees us, he comes over.
"What is it?" he asks bluntly after scanning over our group.
I speak up first. "Now that I can move, I'm here for church, like you said."
"I see..." he frowns down at me, only take a moment to send a dangerous glance in Emily's direction. "Come on then." Without further comment, he grabs the back of my shirt and starts to drag me away. I hear a shocked sound from Francis behind me, but I can't see him as Mister Fredricson immediately drags me into the crowd.
Like before, Mister Fredricson ends up gripping the back of my neck as we go into the church. It's a lot more painful than usual since I still have some deep cuts and bruising along the back of my neck. I try to ignore it though. I have a very important goal today.
We approach the corner we usually stand in, where I spot the nice woman standing again. Her eyes immediately go wide with shock when she sees me, clearly staring at the bandages covering most of my body. It makes me uncomfortable, but I can't even try to hide them this time, and just look down with a kind of embarrassed feeling. But something about her catches my eye, and I glance back up to see her expression change into a warm, comforting smile. It immediately reminds me of Beth.
I return a small smile of my own, but feel kind of shy now that she's being so nice even though we don't even know each other.
The short moment passes as Mister Fredricson pulls me into place so I can't really look to the side at her.
From that point on, church passes as usual. The building slowly fills, then the priests come in, and the head priest gives his speech. Today, it's about Lila. He says how she commands that family be valued, and forbids fraternization outside of marriage. There are a lot of words I don't know, but based on what he talks about, it sounds like what Francis told me about before, how men and women make babies. I guess they aren't supposed to do that until 'marriage', whatever that is. I'm not too concerned about it.
It seems strange. Not many of these lessons they give seem to apply to me. Well, I guess they are for teaching people what they should and shouldn't do as they grow up, so maybe they'll become more relevant if I do manage to grow up some.
Either way, I was never too worried about that part to begin with. The important part of the service comes after. The time for prayers. I have no idea what to say to Reena, but I have to talk to her. Maybe I should apologize for failing, even though she went as far as giving me a vision?
They begin to come around with the divine totems. The priest goes to the woman and she prays briefly, then it's my turn.
I touch the divine totem with my right hand, feeling the connections spreading out through it. As usual, I direct my attention toward Reena, and-
A torrent of seething rage blasts through my entire being. I feel like there are dozens of insults mixed in.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Suicidal.
Blockhead.
Stubborn.
Thoughtless.
They all sort of mix together, only vaguely registering in my mind amidst the mixed up tumble of anger, concern, bewilderment, disgust, relief, outrage, and joy. It all hits me so fast and hard that the next instant, I'm reeling back.
I actually stagger, practically falling over from the force of the emotions that crash over me. Then Mister Fredricson's hand clamps down hard on my neck, the pain actually helping to keep them from overwhelming me completely. It doesn't help with the tears already forming in my eyes though.
In the next moment, the priest's eyes go wide. "Did you see something?" he asks breathlessly. Uh oh. I fight to push what just happened from my mind so I can respond. I can hear Mister Fredricson, practically growling next to me. The nice woman is staring with eyes full of concern as well.
"S-sorry," I stammer out, holding my bandaged hand and frantically trying to make a convincing pained face. "I got hurt earlier..." Thankfully, he buys it, because the excitement vanishes from his face, like it was an illusion, and he moves onto Mister Fredricson without another glance at me.
After Mister Fredricson, the priest continues moving on, like nothing happened. Mister Fredricson's grip never stops digging into the back of my neck though, until the service ends. I hardly notice it though.
I don't understand Reena. Every time I try to talk to her, something incomprehensible happens.
No, I can't give up, I have to at least try thinking it through. I force down the tears stinging behind my eyes and think. Why would she be so angry? Because I failed of course. Right, I failed, so of course she's angry. But what was the rest of that? Why was she insulting me? Just because she was angry? But if that was all, why was she also relieved? Why was she happy?
My best guess is that despite failing, I managed to cheat death anyway. So I'm still here for whatever she has planned in the future. I don't know, but that's the best guess I have right now.
Still... It hurt. All of those negative feelings really hurt. But what hurts even more is knowing I made her feel like that. I had no idea she cared that much about me succeeding. I didn't know failing would make her feel so terrible... Is there any way I can do anything about it? Any way to make it up to her? I don't know...
When the service does finally end, Mister Fredricson drags me outside even faster than usual. I barely have a chance to wave at the nice woman before he's throwing me out on the lawn. I come down on my elbow, wincing when it sends a lance of pain all the way up to my shoulder.
Mister Fredricson just stomps off after that. I slowly pick myself back up. People are staring at me, I can't stay like this. Standing up for that long used up most of my energy though, so it's difficult. I need to find Emily and Francis before heading back.
That reminds me. The doctor said I'm only allowed to walk with an adult, and I have to tell them right away if I get tired. So I have to wait here for Francis, don't I? Thankfully, he shows up quickly. He comes right over, helping to lift me from the ground.
"That Fredricson," he scowls when he sees me covered in grass.
"Thanks Francis. I'm really tired now," I tell him as soon as he picks me up in his arms.
"You look it. Just rest for now. How did it go?"
"Not well..." I admit, away from him. "I didn't even get to say anything. I basically got the impression of her screaming at me..."
"Ahh..." The silence that follows is painfully awkward, until Emily finally gets to us.
Unfortunately, her first question is the same as his.
"She screamed at me." I want to cry as I answer, so I bury my head in Francis' chest.
"Ahh..." Even her reply is the same.
"Well, let's get you home. We need to talk, then you should get more rest," Francis says, and starts to walk. It doesn't feel like we're going that fast now. We finally settle into a comfortable silence as we walk, and I eventually calm down enough to look up again. Being together feels nice, with the only two people who really know me. I still think it's amazing that they both decided to believe in me...
Eventually, Francis speaks up again. "Actually, can we stop by the garrison on our way back? It's been part of my job to keep Frank up to date on your condition, but he's wanted to see you for himself and I don't know how much longer I can hold him back," he sighs. I had no idea he was working so hard on that for me.
"Of course," I agree. "If it'll make things easier for you, let's go. Besides, we should do it when Eryk isn't around, he doesn't know about Reena after all."
"Good point," he says, as if he didn't think about that.
"Thanks for always helping me so much, Francis."
"No problem." He grins a little. We pass through the central district, the crowd leaving the church thinning slightly as the ones who live here turn off of the main road. We make it past, exiting right into the central plaza where the merchants have already gotten set up for the day. There are lots of people gathered at the stalls already, but we circle around the outside of the market and head a couple blocks into the corner of the northwest district, to the guard barracks.
When we go inside, Frank comes up to us right away. "Ah, Francis. I see you brought Aria. How are you feeling?" As he leans down a little to speak to me, he ruffles my hair with a hand. It's nothing like what Beth did. A lot less gentle, more playful. Like he's just messing up my hair instead of patting it.
"Hi Frank, I'm doing better now." I smile back at him.
"That's good to hear. So, what's up, Francis?" He raises an eyebrow, like he expects for something to be wrong.
"Oh, nothing, sir. You just told me you wanted to see Aria when you had a chance. I'm taking her home now, so I thought it would be a good time." He shakes his head a little.
"Ah, good to hear." Frank thumps him on the shoulder. It sounds a little painful. I sort of got this impression before, but it feels like Frank isn't that serious most of the time...
"So..." After it feels like there isn't really anything to say, I try to fill the silence before it gets awkward. "I've basically just been sleeping... Has everything been good with you?" Since I can't really talk about myself, I try to make the conversation about him.
"Yup, everything around here has been great. Nothing to worry about!" he says with a big grin.
"Oi..." I barely pick up Francis muttering under his breath. The way his arms stiffen a little as he holds me... is he annoyed by something? I don't think Frank said anything bad though.
"Well... It was good getting to see you again. I have to get home, I'm still really tired." Since I can't think of anything else we could really talk to him about, I try to end it here. It feels weird, since we basically just showed up, said a few things, and now we're leaving. I can't really have a proper discussion with Frank about anything...
"Alright. Go get some rest." He ruffles my hair again with a big grin on his face.
"I'll be going now, sir," Francis excuses himself too.
"Ah. Get her home safe."
"Yes, sir."
----------------------------------------
Once we leave, I let out a relieved breath. Frank is unexpectedly hard to deal with. We begin to head toward home, but only make it about halfway there when Francis asks, "Is there a good place for us to talk at your house?"
While I'm thinking about it, Emily answers. "Not really, everyone is home on Shanaday. It's not like last week, when everyone was at church."
"Then is there a good spot anywhere around your house where we could talk privately?"
This time, I answer while Emily is still considering it. "Usually the alleys nearby are alright, but you want to talk about that, right?" He just nods. "Then I don't want to do it anywhere that people might overhear anything. There's a spot outside the North Gate, no one ever goes out there. That should work." I don't mention that I also like the spot because it's out where the air is nice and fresh, and there's plenty of sun and soft grass. Those parts aren't important right now...
Did you know this text is from a different site? Read the official version to support the creator.
"Oh, you mean that spot where I found you?" Emily asks.
"Yeah." She nods back and says she'll lead the way. Not that she really needs to. We just end up walking straight up the road and out the North Gate. Francis waves at the guards as we pass and exchanges a few words on our way through. From there, it's just a short walk until we reach the place. Just like before, it's off to the left side of the road, a short rise blocking the view from the gate. The perfect, comfortable spot to talk without anyone around to hear.
As Francis sets me down, I think that maybe the grass is a bit tall, since it basically comes up all around me when I'm lying down. But it's so soft, more than any bed I've ever slept in. And the sun is so nice and warm right now. Well, maybe it's more stifling in the middle of the summer, but I still really enjoy it.
"Come on Aria, we're not here so you can sleep..." Emily sighs.
"R-right, sorry." I shake off the drowsiness that comes over me while lying here, and sit up. Francis plops down cross-legged, so the three of us form a small triangle.
"Alright, I said I had something concerning to talk about." He gets right into it. "It's this rumor that's been going around."
"A... rumor?" I tilt my head. If it's just a rumor, why is he so worried? Well, if he's coming to me about it, does it have something to do with rail units? That alone could make it concerning I guess...
"You wouldn't know, but when you first started going out, there were rumors about you."
"There were?"
"Yeah. Stuff like 'people spotted a rail unit on this block', and 'the women saw a rail unit was over by the river'. Stuff like that."
"Huh... Some stuff like that did happen..." I mutter, remembering back when everyone ran away if I approached them. I guess word would get around, wouldn't it?
"Back when she first started going out?" Emily chimes in. "You mentioned that a little," she says to me before turning to Francis, "but what was she like back then?"
"Well..." he scratches his head, looking a little awkward when he thinks back on it.
Somehow, it feels embarrassing to show her, but I ask anyway. "Would you... like to see?"
"S-sure..." she looks a little nervous now, maybe because I looked nervous asking.
"I spent years like that, so I can still do it when I try." I scratch my cheek with a finger, looking away. "It's useful when I do need to go back and talk to the handlers because I don't think they've realized I have emotions..." I'm rambling. "A-anyway!" I shake my head to clear away the awkward thoughts and calm my blushing face. Then I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.
When I open my eyes again, I let my face slide back into my old, blank stare. I speak, dropping all emotion from my voice as well. "This is what people refer to when they talk about emotionless rail units. I was like this until I learned how to emote."
I can see Emily shiver as I speak, her whole body straightening up and her eyes going wide. Even Francis grimaces a little. With another slow exhale, I settle back into my usual expression. "Like I said, I still have to do that sometimes when I'm dealing with the rail unit program, like when I went back for the battle. It's not really pleasant though." I shrug. Emily nods repeatedly.
"That is pretty scary," she comments. It's so direct, it makes me wince a little.
"Getting back on topic," Francis easily brings us back to what we were talking about. "Walking around like that caused lots of rumors to start to spread."
"Right." It seems pretty obvious now. Emily keeps nodding repeatedly.
"I'm bringing this up because rumors like that have started going around again."
"What? Why?" How could that happen?
He shrugs. "I don't know. There couldn't be another rail unit like you, right?"
"No." I shake my head immediately. "None of the others had broken manastones. Without emotions, they never had any desires. So there's no reason they would go out on their own." Something about my own words doesn't sit right with me though. What is it? I think hard for a few long moments, trying to pull out what's bothering me. "They... don't have... emotions...?" I repeat the words, but the battle replays before my eyes.
8C and 3F. "Oh no."
Francis' expression darkens immediately. "What is it?" he asks.
"During the battle, 8C and 3F used Lilia on me to protect me."
"What's 'Lilia'?" Emily asks.
"Oh, it's one of our divine armaments." I have to remind myself they don't actually know about those. I've told them I'm a rail unit, but I never did go into detail on the divine armaments. There isn't any real reason to. Except for this one, apparently. "It is a very powerful spell type armament-"
"Spell?" she cuts in to question that too. Ok, I guess I need to step back to the basics a little more to explain this correctly.
I clear my throat a little to let them know I'm about to dive into an explanation before speaking. "Our divine arms are split into two categories. Physical and spell types. Physical ones create, well, physical things you can hold. Like Swords and spears. Spell types are sort of..." I flounder for a moment. I don't have a word for them. "Weird. Or just, different, I guess. Not solid things you can touch. They just cause an effect, but don't really have a real, physical form."
Both of them nod a few times as I explain. "So, Lilia is a very powerful spell type arm. It creates a bond between the user and whoever they touch. As long as you stand close together, both of you will get a whole lot stronger." No need to get into details on that. "But... they never taught us that it also creates a sort of emotional connection. Probably because rail units shouldn't have emotions in the first place," I guess.
Their mouths are slowly falling open, I think they know where I'm going with this. "8C and 3F were able to feel my emotions during the battle. 8C died," I wince a little when I remember, "but I think it might have had some lasting effect on 3F."
"Ahh, so that's how it is..." Francis sighs, a hand coming up to rub at his forehead.
"I'm sorry..." I bow my head. "I didn't know something like this would happen... I'll have Chisa keep an eye out for 3F, alright? But... what should I do when I find it?"
"That's hard to say, we don't even know what sort of effect your emotions had on it, do we?" Francis seems to be thinking really hard, but then he holds his head in his hands and groans. "I'm sorry, I have no idea how to deal with this. Sorry to dump this on you, this is completely out of my realm. Could you look into it?"
"O-of course! It's my fault in the first place!" I put a hand to my chest. "I'll find out why 3F is acting like this and see what I can do about it."
"Thanks a lot, Aria," he says with a pained grin.
"It's no problem."
"Is there any way I can help?" Emily asks.
"Umm..." I think about it a little. "No, I should do this on my own. I don't want to get you involved with the AR program," I say with a small shake of my head.
"I see..." She bites her lip a little, but then nods anyway. "We'll leave it to you then."
We all sit for a bit, staring out at the clear sky. A few clouds drift past and I can feel the high altitude winds are strong, from north to south today.
Eventually, it's Emily who breaks the silence. "Hey, Aria."
"Yeah?"
"How was the battle?"
I frown a little as soon as it comes to mind, forcing myself not to think about the specifics. Not dredge up the painful, terrifying memories. Still, there's nothing I can do about it after the fact. And I would like them to know what happened there. "It was really bad. I don't know why, but our strategy fell apart before the battle even started. The other rail units all called for a retreat, before we even started fighting."
"I don't really know much about fighting, but isn't that really weird?" Emily asks.
"Yeah. 8C and 3F said I had too much mana, but the handlers already knew about that when they came up with our strategy. That's why they were trying to use me as bait."
"I don't follow. Use you as bait?" Francis asks, obviously worried.
"Well, I think it has to do with my mana. Uhh, how do I explain this..." I scratch my head a little before it comes to me. I glance around, just to make extra sure there's no one nearby. Which feels silly since Chisa can already see that there's no one, even on the other side of the hill I can't see past myself. Then I light up my divine gear. They both flinch a little, but recover quickly.
Then Emily leans forward to get a better look. "So... this is it?" she asks. I guess since she knows I can't use it, she's not that scared of it anymore. "What a weird shape," she mutters.
"So, according to my divine gear, I have three thousand one hundred ninety eight mana right now." I point at the glowing number.
Emily can't read the numbers, but Francis goes, "Huh... It does..." as he squints at them.
"But from what the handlers and the other rail units said, it sounds like my divine gear isn't working right. Probably since I'm broken. The number changes sometimes, but I don't know what it actually means. What I do know is it doesn't actually give my current mana. That much I've figured out," I say definitively. After all, I lost almost all my mana, but the number hasn't really changed.
"Hmm..." Francis rubs his chin.
"Eep!" Emily squeaks a little, and I glance at her. "It moves!" she says in a whisper. I look down at it myself. That's right, it turns bit by bit over time. I wonder why? Is there a purpose to it spinning?
"Wait..." As I stare at it, something finally begins to click in my mind. It turns with a tiny tick. I wait, and wait, then it suddenly happens again. How did I never notice that before? I wait for one more, trying to feel the length of time between them. The third little tick confirms my thoughts.
"What is it?" Francis asks when I stare intensely at it for a very long time.
"I just noticed that it turns at regular intervals." I answer.
"O...kay...?" he clearly doesn't understand.
"Sorry, sorry." I shake my head vigorously. "That's not important. What I was trying to say is that it doesn't show the right amount of mana. When I asked the other rail units, they had about eighteen thousand, and twenty one thousand. I think the handlers figured out I had about thirty thousand." He just keeps nodding even though I can tell he doesn't understand. "When we fight, one of our divine armaments let us see how much mana our enemies have. So we know who to attack based on that."
"Ok." That one he seems to get.
"Because I had a lot more than the other rail units, they put me in the middle to draw the enemies in."
"That's what you meant by bait..." he grumbles, finally getting it.
"Exactly. However, the enemies didn't take the bait at all. Instead of coming for me, they did the opposite. They stayed all the way on the other side of the battlefield and bombarded us with extreme long range attacks."
"Why?"
I shake my head. "I have no idea. But it seemed like the other rail units realized our plan wasn't going to work before the battle. That's why they requested a retreat. Well, that didn't happen, obviously." I shrug to hide how terrifying it really was. "Eryk mentioned we won, but I can't really say how. I spent the entire battle hiding behind 8C and 3F."
"I think I have the basic idea," Francis responds. "So how did that end up with you getting hurt like this?"
"Well, right at the end of the battle, a bunch of enemies ambushed us from behind. They split us up. They would have killed me, but 3F used a powerful healing spell, and 8C sacrificed itself to throw me to safety." I'm being extremely light on details here, but it's probably good enough. I really don't want to dwell on this... "Well, even with all of that, the injuries were too bad to survive..."
"Huh, so that's how it went. Still, weren't you preparing for the battle for a while?"
"Yeah, but it turned out that it was all pretty much meaningless. Nothing I learned helped me at all against the rail units." I shake my head. No, I can't be that negative about it. "Well, no. Almost everything was useless, but there were basically two things that helped. The air mana helped me make out the enemy's long range attacks first so I could call them out for 8C and 3F. And the lele fruit I brought probably saved me at the very end."
"Really? How?"
"You know how eating it knocks me out?" He shakes his head. That's right, I think he only really knows that they're bad for me, doesn't he? I take a few moments to explain how they effect me before getting back to the topic. "So my last ditch effort was to try eating a lele fruit. I thought it might make my mana not show up to the enemies. It was a complete guess, but as far as I can tell, it seemed to work because they didn't kill me after it knocked me out." For a while, Francis looks pale, and can't seem to come up with a response to that.
I look over at Emily since she's been quiet this whole time, but... She's staring, just staring without blinking at my divine gear. Has she been like that this whole time?! "Uhh, Emily? Are you listening?"
"What? Oh, yeah. I was listening." She gives me a few quick nods, but her gaze soon drifts back to my divine gear.
"Ok..." I reply uncertainly. "Do you... want to touch it?" I try offering since she can't seem to tear her eyes away.
"Can I?"
"Sure, I guess?" I'm not sure why she's so fascinated by it all of a sudden. Slowly, her hand approaches, before gently resting on the surface.
"It's so smooth..." she mutters, and tries poking it.
"Woah, that feels weird," I comment as soon as she does.
"Weird? How?" she tilts her head.
It's a little hard to explain, so I respond, "Try grabbing it and moving it around." She hesitates at first, but then grabs the gear and moves. Just like I noticed, my arm gets pulled along. It feels really weird, having my arm tugged on when she's not actually grabbing my arm. "I always knew it was sort of connected to my arm somehow, but I never imagined that pushing on it would actually move me too." I explain out loud for them. "I guess there was no way to tell since no one else has ever touched it before."
Now that I really think about it, I never really paid all that much attention to my divine gear, did I? Especially since I found out I can't use it. After that point, I basically just thought of it as a light source if I really needed one. Nothing else.
"Anyway..." Francis continues on the topic we were talking about, "So nothing really turned out right, and you couldn't even do much about it, even with everything you prepared. What about the next battle, you're not still going, are you?"
I flinch, then frown. "Of course I am!"
"But, the way it went, you don't stand a chance against them."
"I'm a rail unit, I have to."
"I know, but you're not like the others," he offers.
"Just because I'm weak doesn't mean I can ignore my duty." I glare at Francis. Why is he asking me about this?
"Yes, I know it's your duty," he puts his hands up under my angry gaze. "But still, you don't really want to do this, do you?"
"O-of course I don't," I turn away, my breath suddenly catching from something other than anger. "I have to. I am a rail unit," I say, pointedly. A weapon. It's what they made me for.
"..." Francis looks conflicted, like he wants to say something else, but can't come up with the words. I turn to Emily. She understands, doesn't she? But she has the same look.
"E-Emily?"
She stares at the ground, not meeting my eyes. "I... I know you're a rail unit. I get it. I get that you're a weapon... Something made for war..." Her voice catches and she goes silent for a long moment. Then she whispers. "I don't want you to go."
"But I have to!" I plead. It's my only purpose!
Her answer comes so quiet I barely hear it. "I know."
Then Francis closes his eyes and covers his face with a hand. "I get it. I don't like it, but you're not changing your mind, are you?"
"No." I can't.
"Haa..." Francis sighs heavily. "Fine, if you're doing this, then do you at least have a plan? Do you even know when it will be?"
That's right.. I just made it through the last battle, I completely haven't started looking ahead to the next one at all yet. "I haven't thought about it yet," I respond, staring at the ground. "Do you remember the last group of rail units? When did they go off to battle?"
"That was years ago..." he grumbles, but looks like he's thinking hard about it for some time. While he is struggling to come up with an answer, I turn back to Emily, still staring hard at my divine gear, listlessly pulling my arm around in circles with it.
"Hey, why are you so interested in this?" I ask. "Isn't it scary?"
Her furrowed brow and frown deepens. "I guess it would be normally, but you can't use it, right?" Then she looks up to meet my eyes. "Besides, I trust you." She pauses, then looks away again. "I guess... You've been telling me all about these things mana can do for a while now. I can feel the changes when you give me some, but I can't actually feel mana at all."
She stares at my gear, conflicted. "I mean, I know this makes you a rail unit, but it's the closest thing to that. To mana, I mean. But for once it's something I can actually see and touch for myself."
"Huh..." I never really thought about it that way before. Emily can't sense mana like I can, so she could never feel any of the things it could do. Because it was never physical... Thinking about it like that suddenly gives me an idea.
It feels like I'm pulling together a bunch of different thoughts I've had on it before. Everything from wondering about the divine armaments that seem to be made of mana, and my endless search for uses of mana that might help me. I've already seen it with the divine armaments, there's definitely a way to make physical things using mana. But those are all incredibly amazing things produced by The God of War and Destruction. Is there any way to do something more simple? Something I'm actually capable of?
I voice my thoughts. "There's definitely some way of making physical things using mana."
"Really?" Emily's eyes go wide with surprise, her dark look fading just a little.
"Yeah, I know it's possible, I just don't know how to do it." I look back to Francis to answer part of his question from earlier. "I'll try learning about it. I'll get stronger before the next battle." After fighting them once, I doubt it will help, but I don't want to admit that to him, not after he said he doesn't want me to go. Besides, I have to learn what I can to know for sure.
He reluctantly nods. "Ok, do your best. If you really have to go, then you have to come back. And about the battles, I think it was about every two months that we saw the rail units leave the city."
"Really?" I gasp, immediately anxious. "Then I don't have that much time, do I?" It's already been three weeks. That's twenty one out of sixty days. Only thirty nine days left? Of course it's an estimate, so like last time, there's no telling exactly what day the battle will end up falling on.
Immediately, plans spin through my head.
Until then, I need to start working on the next steps of figuring out what I can do with mana. And I need to find a metal that I can get water mana from when I talk to Eryk. Wait, are we going to be talking at the orphanage or the refinery? He said he would come to my house tomorrow, so maybe I won't have that chance, I'll have to see though. Maybe he'll take me there if I ask?
Let's leave that for tomorrow, I tell myself. "Yeah, it really isn't that much time," Francis says with a frown. "Are you... really sure?"
"Yes!" I shoot him another glare when he questions me again. I can't change my mind. "I'll do everything I can to survive next time. I finally have a place I belong here, I don't want to lose it."
"Mm," Emily grumbles, and gives me a tight hug. That finally draws a sigh from Francis.
"I'm really glad you made a friend," Francis rubs both of our heads. "Really, really glad."
After that, we all sit for a little while longer. Once I calm down, I just soak up the summer sun and enjoying the breeze. A while passes, before I remember there was one more thing I wanted to mention to them. "Oh right. I wanted to tell you about my new animals." It still feels kind of awkward when I refer to them. I've sort of been calling them my friends, but they're part of me. Isn't calling part of myself my friend weird? Well, the whole thing is weird, so there's no helping it, is there?
"Oh right. I was wondering about that," Emily says. Francis just listens intently.
"First, Soma, Baan, and Kiara are three more hobins. They're from Maven's burrow. Brom is a rechit. He's pretty young, and I get a feeling like he's a kind of weird rechit."
"Ok..." Emily tilts her head with an amused look.
"Chisa is a bird." They both nod since I already mentioned her earlier. "And Myra is... well, I don't know what Myra is exactly."
"Could you describe her? What kind of animal is it?" Francis asks.
"Let's see... She's definitely a predator. I'd say she's maybe the size of Francis."
"What?!" they both reel back. "That's a really big animal!"
"Come on Aria, why would you go after something like that?" Emily speaks in a stern tone.
I immediately put my hands up in surrender when she starts to glare at me. "It wasn't by choice! She was attacking us. I was dead at the time. I..." I mumble the last part to myself. "...should actually be kind of thankful, she gave me the push I needed at just the right moment..."
"You're welcome," Myra suddenly chuckles from wherever she is in the mountains.
"Anyway. She was attacking us and all I could do was use everyone to knock her out. But I was really weak at the time, so I ended up knocking out all seven of us too."
"Haa..." Emily let out an exaggerated sigh.
"So anyway..." I try to get back on track. "She's about the size of Francis, has fluffy yellow fur with small black spots all over. And she lives in the mountains."
"I rule the mountains," Myra cuts in again, huffing indignantly at my description. I still try to ignore her.
Francis shakes his head. "Sorry, I'm not that familiar with animals from that far off. It doesn't sound like anything I know of. Just uhh, be careful I guess?" He gives the advice like he has no idea whether it will actually be helpful or not.
"Sure, I'll try to be careful.
We sit for a little while longer, but I think we've finally talked about everything we all wanted to talk about. Eventually, Francis gets up. "Ok, time to get you back home," he says.
"Sure." I stand, finding that I'm pretty sleepy already. It's not even lunchtime yet. Well, I'll be in bed soon. Francis picks me up again, and we return to the orphanage.
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When we get to the front door, Francis sets me down. "You can get to your room, right?"
"Yeah. I've got Emily here to help me too," I answer with a grin while taking hold of Emily's hand. That just makes her grin too.
"Good. I'll see you next week, let me know if you get anywhere with what we talked about."
"I'll do that." I give him a determined answer.
"Well, I'll be going now." Francis waves as he walks down the street. We wave back briefly, before heading inside. I think we're somewhere between the sixth and seventh bell, so lunch shouldn't be that far off. But we head straight upstairs and Emily puts me down in bed.
"You're comfortable? You don't need to pee or anything, right?" she asks.
"No, I'm fine." I answer, looking away. Even though she's been helping me with that for weeks now, it's still embarrassing...
"Do you have your coins?"
"Yeah," I lift up the two coins I've been holding night and day for the last two weeks. I hardly even notice them most of the time at this point.
"Good. I'll wake you up for food." Emily rubs my head. I just close my eyes and smile. I'll let her fuss over me for now, I guess. I take a few moments to generate more earth mana. I asked the doctor about ways of overcoming nightmares, but even if I can, it will probably take a long time. I guess this is all I can do for now. With that, I close my eyes, my tired body relaxing easily, even against the hard wood bed that's nowhere near as comfortable as the grass outside.
I wonder if you can make a mattress out of grass...