"Aria, it's time." I open my eyes at Myra's call. I wasn't even sleeping that deeply. It's not that long until first bell, but I want to get going early enough that I'm not too late after the whistle. So I shake Emily lightly and she wakes up too. She rubs her eyes a little, but gets up pretty quickly since she's also used to getting up early now too.
Like last time, I sigh slightly, then take off all my clothes, pulling out my rail unit robe from the tiny ball it was rolled into, hidden inside bags and under bandages under my bed. I throw the robe over me. It's still pretty dirty and covered in dark bloodstains everywhere from the last battle. Maybe I should have washed it. It's always so nasty in here I didn't notice, but it probably smells...
Putting that out of mind, I grab my basket, all packed up with everything I need, and get going. We head out, everyone still asleep, not a sound or creak through the house as we make our way outside. From there, we walk at a somewhat slow pace, since we'll still make it there before the first bell.
"So, how are things looking?" Emily asks nervously.
"Not good," I admit darkly. "I've made some more preparations this time, but I pretty much haven't learned anything to actually help me in a fight. My best bet right now is relying on the others to protect me. That will probably work really well if I can work together with Effy, since I trust her to protect me and she's really strong, but it'll be really bad if I'm not near her," I explain.
"Huh... is there any way you can like, request to get paired with her?"
"I..." The thought of asking the handlers something like that, a strange question that will definitely draw a lot of attention to not just me, but Effy too... I shudder, immediately anxious and shaking my head. "I don't think so, it would be too suspicious. I'll rush to her position from wherever I'm placed, as long as it doesn't go directly against my orders." Maybe even if it does...
"Alright, just be careful, please." She stops me to give me a tight hug. "I don't want to see you like last time. It was so scary..."
"Don't worry, I definitely won't come back like that," I assure her, squeezing her right back. I mean, if I die again, I don't have anywhere near enough mana to revive myself like I did last time. Not mentioning that to her... "I'll do everything I can, and I'll come back, alright?"
"Yeah."
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We walk the quiet morning streets, ears trained for any sounds of people waking, since now that I'm thinking about it, getting spotted while dressed like this could be bad. Thankfully, our trip through the northeast district is uneventful. We don't even have much to talk about, ending up going in silence. We arrive outside the rail unit building almost right on time, moving into an alley beside it.
Standing in the tight space between the stone and wood walls, Emily hugs me tightly, and I return it, fingers clutching at the back of her shirt. "Stay safe out there, Aria. I don't care what happens in the battle, do whatever it takes to come back, alright?"
"Yeah, I'll give it everything I have," I promise. We stand there, holding each other tightly for a little longer, only breaking away when the whistle sounds.
With small nods, we part ways, and I head into the rail unit building again. As soon as I open the door, the choking stench of filth, far worse than even the smell at home, attacks me, but I keep my expression blank and go inside. Sweeping my gaze over the room, I find young rail units in the back. It's been about four months since they arrived, so they all look a little over a year old already. How long before they're older than I am...?
Continuing to glance over the room, the other rail units are in the middle of moving into formation. I start toward them, but then I see the handlers. Every one of them staring at me with open-mouth disbelief. Oh no, what is it? What did I do? They haven't figured out anything, have they?!
My legs start to go weak, my mind shutting down at the thought of what they might do to me. Then one speaks.
"Unit 1A, you're alive? How?" Seeing their confusion rather than anything else, the terror recedes enough for me to think.
I answer, careful to keep my expression blank and my tone lifeless like they expect, showing no trace of my choking anxiety. "Yes, I am alive." How do I answer the second part though...? "I am alive by not being dead." Stupid, but true, the kind of thing I'd expect a normal rail unit to say to such a question. Of course it doesn't explain the 'how' at all, but I'm not about to tell them I brought myself back from the dead...
"A-ahh..." The handlers are quickly bringing their reactions under control, the same one that spoke up first walking toward me. I'm careful not to retreat at his approach, not to show them anything to make them suspicious. "What happened in the last battle?" he suddenly asks as he stops in front of me. I have to look up at him, even though he's covered in a dark robe, I probably don't come up past his waist.
This time, I don't actually understand the question. "We fought the enemies." I give another straightforward answer. Maybe what he's really asking is why it went so differently than it should have? His follow up question clarifies, and my guess is right, so I answer, "I do not know."
"The others said it had too much mana, let's check it. We should be sure, it could mess up the next battle," one of the other handlers suggests while walking up beside the first.
"Yeah, good idea. 1G, come here." At his command, one of the nearest rail units separates from the formation to stand before the handlers. "Use Oculus, tell us how much mana 1A has."
The rail unit does as instructed. "Release," it says, and I squint from the flash of light. "Oculus." Its eyes take on the glow of the armament, then it looks at me and tells the handlers, "Thirty four thousand mana."
I twitch, just a tiny bit, but otherwise stop myself from showing any response.
Inside, I'm absolutely baffled. Thirty four thousand? How? My well is practically empty, I'm at like, ten, fifteen percent full! How does that make any sense?! That would make my maximum somewhere between two hundred and three hundred thousand mana! That's impossible!
While I'm hiding my reaction, the handler dismisses 1G and turns to the others. They huddle close together and they start speaking quietly between them. They're quiet enough that even I can't hear them, so I use the metal disks in my basket to generate more water mana. They're going back and forth in quick mutters. "Doesn't that match our estimates? Why did they all report unreadably high amounts last time?"
"No clue," one responds with a shrug. "Maybe it was actually something about the battlefield that day? The enemy reacted strangely as well."
"Could be that Oculus didn't work right because it's broken," another suggests. "But that wouldn't explain why it's working now."
"Enough," the one in the front cuts them off. "It doesn't matter what happened, as long as it doesn't happen again. More importantly, how are we going to explain this to Kurt?"
"Explain what?" one asks. "That it's here?"
"That we thought it was dead and it just vanished for two months," the apparent leader quips.
"They don't pay us enough for that, it's here now, isn't it?" one argues. "Besides, it's just going to mess up the formation we had planned. Again."
"Eh, we'll just go with the last one," the leader shrugs.
"Didn't you just say we don't want a repeat of last time? Wouldn't using the same strategy be asking for exactly that?"
"No way," the leader argues. "After that disaster last time, they must have retrained their rail units." Circled up with the other handlers, I can't see his face, but I can hear the grin in his voice. "Actually... If they haven't? Another big win for us."
"Come on Zell, didn't you hear about that envoy? They were blaming us for whatever happened. What if they think we're doing something underhanded and attack the city again?" One of them actually sounds nervous. What was that about an envoy? That's something like a messenger, right? But didn't Claire say it had to do with messages from other places, like other countries? Did Bromunst send a messenger after the attack on the city?
The leader, Zell, gives the slightest of chuckles. "If they do, then they'll just anger Rostor even more. They must already have issues after one time, there's no way he'd let them off doing it again, right?"
"But what about the city...?" one of the others sighs out.
"Meh, that's for the rabble to deal with," is his only comment. Rabble? Is he referring to the people in the city as rabble? But... but aren't we supposed to protect them? "Now here's what we're going to do: order the units into a pincer formation again, and keep quiet about losing 1A. You're right," he points out one of the other handlers, "they don't pay us enough for this shit. Now let's get going." With a quick round of agreement, they split.
The head handler turns back to me. Zell, I think. The handlers are people too... This is just a job to them, and they don't even like working here... Looking up at him again, I actually look. He has blond hair, cut pretty short, with a bit of extra fat around his cheeks. He looks kind of old too, at least thirty. Knowing what I know now, I'm not quite as scared as before.
"1A, get into formation," he orders me, so I silently go to do as he says. I'm a bit uncertain for a moment whether I'm supposed to go to my old spot, or the new one from last time, but 5G is already in the corner where I used to stand, so I head toward the center of the formation instead.
That's when I notice the missing units. Right on this side of the formation, there's a gap cut out. Units 1D, 2D, and 3D are gone. There's also a gap right next to 1E. They always told us we lose the most in the first battle... Trying to ignore it, not to respond, I walk through the gap. I turn slightly, spotting Effy just at the edge of the missing units. Maintaining our totally lifeless expressions, our eyes meet, for just a moment, then I go past.
It takes a bit of searching, checking the surrounding rail units until I get to the right spot. Then I stand and wait. As they decided between themselves, the handlers order us to take the same formation as last time. They go on from there to get into more detail on which flank of the formation all of the different rail units will be. Thankfully, I'll be with Effy again, for pretty much the same reason as last time. But now that 8C is gone, they also assign a few more units to the center, in case there's a repeat of last time.
Still, it takes them six rail units, just to replace 8C. It really was the best shielder we had. I feel bad now, if it hadn't died, it would have ended up like Effy...
Before long, we finish up the meeting, and they order us through the same door we used last time. I guess they're going to bathe us again? I go along, just like last time, inevitably winding up at the back of the pack of rail units, as we descend into... I think the word is tunnel? Yeah, it's like a road or hall, but underground. I generate some fire mana to keep up, heading the long, long distance to that strange building.
As I walk, I keep thinking about their conversation earlier. I never would have imagined the handlers were just people who didn't like their jobs... Everything that happened, everything they did to me... I don't know... They weren't trying to torture or abuse me, they just... didn't care. At all.
I don't know how to feel about that. I mean, it's relieving to know they aren't going to come after me, that they don't have anything against me. They just couldn't be bothered to treat me any differently than the other rail units. So, what happens if they do figure out how different I am? I don't know if I'm more or less worried about their reactions...
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After a very long walk with the handlers at my heels, we reach the stairs back up, and climb until we enter the strange, white building once more. Just like last time, they herd us through the entryway, into the hall that connects to the bath room. The whole time, I stay at the back, trying not to do anything to draw the attention of the handlers. I can't help but peer up at the strange pointed lights though. They must be powered by mana, right? How? If I could just reach them, maybe I could learn something...
Staying quiet, we all line up, two lines just like before. We shuffle forward, one by one, removing our robes and heading into the bath. I wonder if Nana will be here again? Last time, she said she works for... It takes some time to pull back the one particular memory. I think it was... Charles Ordlyn. I could've guessed just from the ones I've heard of, but Claire taught me that nobles get two names, so she definitely works for a noble.
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After waiting a while for my turn all the way at the end of the line, I'm the last rail unit to pull off my robe and shoes, allowing the blue-dressed woman to take them, before walking through the thick curtain into the bath room.
It's just like I remember it. Hot and wet, with the huge bath stretching far into the room, water slowly overflowing to run down into small holes in the stone floor. The heavy steam coming up off the surface of the hot water, all of the women in their short blue dresses washing the rail units... It's all just like last time. I guess they'll always wash us before battle?
Which also means they're going to walk us through the church too, I guess. While I'm still looking around, I pick up the footstep all the way from my right side and turn to look. Moving from a spot right against the wall, which is why I didn't see her, is Nana again.
"Hello, miss rail unit," she greets me. For a moment, I remember that she did an elaborate gesture last time. Right, that was a high class greeting, because she didn't think I was a rail unit. She does nothing like that this time though, sticking with a normal greeting instead. Looking up at her, she's wearing the same blue dress as the other women, her bright yellow hair pulled up into a bun.
"Hello, Nana." I have to fight down the smile that wants to form. It's surprisingly nice to see her again.
She also tries, but doesn't exactly succeed in hiding her amused smile, as she turns and says, "Come on, let's get you washed up." I follow after her as she leads me across the room, all the way to the far corner of the tub like last time. I set down my basket then sit at the edge. I have to take a few long, slow, and calming breaths, before I can work up the determination to get in.
I keep reminding myself how good it felt last time, which definitely helps too. I slide down into the water, keeping a solid grip on the side of the tub as I do. I manage to settle most of the way in before my body seizes. The memories come back, but I do everything I can to ward them off, keep telling myself it's not like that.
Then it's over. I pant a little, opening my eyes to a clearly concerned Nana. "You did that last time too, is there something wrong?" she asks.
It's odd. I've only met Nana once before, but I feel like I can talk to her about almost anything, as long as it's related to rail units. Because she's the only person I met as a rail unit? I never had to hide that from her, so I have no problem just... answering. "I'm afraid of water. They never taught us about water, so I when I tried to cross a river, I walked right into it and almost drowned."
As I speak, I glance around, the steam from the water hiding me from everyone else in the room enough that I let my blank expression drop. "I've been working on it, but I get these really bad flashbacks whenever I get in water like this."
"That's umm, hmm..." She doesn't know how to respond, just standing and considering what I've told her for some time.
"Don't worry about it, it's fine," I assure her. "I think I've been getting better, hot water like this helps a lot because it feels really good." That finally brings a small smile back to her lips.
"Alright then. Let's get you washed up." I nod, and she gets to work.
"Well, that's what I said, but... You're already really clean, miss," comments Nana after hardly any time washing me. She puts in a little more work with the soap in my long hair, but laughs a little. "It doesn't look like the others have washed since last time. How are you so much cleaner than they are?"
"Well..." I'm a little uncertain since this crosses over into my life outside the program. But there really isn't any excuse I can make, so I just tell her. "I wash myself every day or two."
"Ok, but... why don't the others? They just don't bother? I mean, you definitely seem more intelligent than them..." she leans in to look at my face more closely as she says that, and I grin nervously. How am I supposed to explain any of this?
"Uhh..." I stammer. Do I just tell her? I don't know if I trust her that much yet. I mean, she already knows I have emotions, so if she told the handlers, that would be really bad, but can I trust her with what I've been doing outside the rail unit program? I hardly know her!
"So, umm, anyway... Maybe you could learn to swim?" Nana suddenly changes topics without warning.
Immediately grabbing onto that, I ask, "What does that mean? I've never heard of swimming before."
"Swimming is, umm..." she stops, looking uncertain. Then she tilts her head a little. "Huh, it's kind of hard to explain. It's how you move in the water. Like walking but... in the water..."
"Oh." Even if her explanation wasn't great, it still got the point across. I didn't know that was possible, so just hearing it is, is somewhat relieving.
Nana goes on. "It's how people can get through water without, you know, drowning," she offers an awkward shrug.
"That sounds... helpful," is the best way I can put it. "How do I learn to swim?"
"Well..." Nana considers briefly, before asking, "Can you touch the bottom here?"
"Umm, sort of? I can just barely touch it, but I can't stand without my head going under," I explain, trailing the tips of my toes along the bottom as I speak.
"Ahh..." She looks a bit worried at that, her eyes moving to my hands holding tightly onto the side. "In that case... You could start by floating. Here, just keep holding on. Ready?" I'm nervous as she asks, unsure what she's about to do, but I nod anyway. "Here, just stay still and keep breathing."
I do as Nana instructs, as she gently grabs my sides, slowly lifting me bit by bit, so I end up horizontal. The way she does it helps me relax, know she's not suddenly going to make me do something I don't understand. "There, now you're floating. Just stay like that. It's comfortable, right?" She keeps a hand under my back, just a little bit of pressure to assure me that she has me.
But I can feel it now, how the water kind of holds me up. It reminds me how I was floating that one time I got heat stroke at work and they threw me in a big tub of water.
"Yeah, this is actually nice," I answer her, kind of surprised myself. The hot water already felt nice, but just sort of floating gently in it is really soothing. I let out a long, satisfied sigh, but freeze up a little bit when I start sinking, before Nana's hand presses against my back to keep me up.
"Remember to keep breathing," she instructs again. "The air helps you float, so you don't want to exhale too much. Just keep taking nice, steady breaths." Once more, I do as she says, breathing in and out, and letting the hot water hold me there.
"Good, good," Nana comments. I let my eyes squint closed.
Yes, just like this. Nice and warm and comfortable, nothing to be scared of...
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Nana has me float for a while, just soaking in the comfort of the hot water. It's so relaxing, it almost lulls me to sleep. But eventually, she shakes me a little and says it's best if I get out before I get overheated. I quickly agree, I am starting to feel a bit funny, even with some fire mana.
So we get out, and I make sure to grab my basket, remembering how I almost forgot it before. We head back to the entrance, and I hold my basket with one arm, keeping a tight grip on Nana's hand in case I slip again this time too.
Looking over the other rail units as we pass by, I see that they're a lot cleaner than they were for their first baths. After all, they've only gone two months without cleaning, rather than five years. Five years... Just considering that makes me cringe. Some part of me finds it unbelievable that I used to live like that. Used to be so filthy and covered in dirt that I could barely feel anything past my skin.
"Is something wrong, miss?" Nana asks.
"A-ahh, no, it's fine. Just some bad memories..." I answer stiffly, tearing my gaze from the other rail units. Nana doesn't comment any further, and we make it back to the front of the room, where she dries me off. As she fluffs and dries out my hair, she asks, "Would you like me to put it in a bun for you again?"
I hardly need to think about it. "Sure." I nod happily, keeping her between me and the rest of the room so no one else can see. Once she finishes drying my hair, she turns me around twists it all around, and she's done. It's kind of amusing, she does it so fast.
"Thanks a lot, Nana." I bow slightly on reflex, which makes her bring a hand to her mouth, giggling.
"You're welcome, little miss rail unit."
I nod, then say, "Time to go," not so much to her as myself. I take a big breath, then exhale slowly, letting my emotions fall from my face and settle back into a lifeless rail unit expression, mentally preparing myself to deal with the handlers again. When I open my eyes, the change clearly disconcerts Nana, but she offers a small wave anyway as I turn to leave.
Pushing back through the curtain, there are a few handlers standing around, over near one wall. They glance at me, but then return to standing, grouped up, but not saying anything. I don't see any women waiting with scissors this time. I guess they aren't cutting the rail units' hair this time?
No one moves to stop me as I walk out of the little tiled area, back into the long hall. As soon as I'm out of sight, I hear the low murmur of the handlers talking. Hmm, I am curious what the handlers are talking about... Turning an ear back on their distant, mumbled conversation, I need even more water mana to hear it properly. I move out of the doorway, staying out of line of sight while I listen.
"I swear, Quint's losing his mind. With the way Patrick has been claiming all the credit."
"Hah! Serves him right."
"Hey, doesn't your uncle work for Quint?"
"Ugh, don't remind me, I don't talk to him anymore."
"How did Patrick even manage that?" a new voice cuts back to their original topic.
"Listen to this, Jared Killian backed him up."
"For real?"
"No way." The two voices come at the same time, with low chuckles from all of them.
"That's what I heard, one of my servants was running an errand at the Varish estate when it happened."
"Didn't he send for an adviser? Why haven't we gotten any better instructions from up top yet?"
"Yeah, it's been a month already," another complains.
"I bet those lazy capital idiots are dragging their feet."
There's a small grunt of pain, followed by one saying, "Watch it, I've got family in the capital. And it's only been a month. It takes over a week just to get there. If they put any sort of consideration in before sending someone out, it's no surprise that they'd take this long. Haven't you ever been to the capital before?"
At that one, there's no response, before the handlers all start laughing. Quietly, but filled with a condescending sound.
"Who do you think it'll be?" One asks, his voice pretty deep actually.
"Who? You mean Ordlyn or Varish?"
"No no, obviously it's Quint, he's the one in charge, even if Kurt's the one who does all the work," the deep voice scoffs. "Who do you think they'll send from the capital?"
"Anyone's fine, right? As long is it's not some Makron brat."
"Seconded."
"I don't know," the deep one sighs. "It's about damn time we got some competent orders, don't you think?"
"Now you sound like Kurt Ordlyn." The comment draws a few more quiet laughs.
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up. But Kurt's going to rip us a new one if things keep going sideways like last battle," he counters their laughter.
"Hey, it's not our fault that Bromunst went crazy."
"Either that or 1A screws up the divine gears somehow," deep voice grumbles. I straighten up nervously, glancing around to ensure I'm still out of sight when their conversation turns to me.
"Yeah, what's wrong with that rail unit? I thought it was dead already! Thing's been gone for two months and it just shows up again out of nowhere!"
"Really," one agrees. "Thought my heart was going to stop, how did that thing survive the last battle anyway?"
"Unit 8C protected it, unfortunately. That one could've been really useful later, but it burned all of its mana in one battle," the deep voice sighs.
"Wasn't 3F there too?"
"Yeah, it's where we got most of our intel. It only had three thousand mana after that battle, I'm surprised it had enough left to defend the gate during that attack.
"Woah, that's really impressive. But won't it be out of mana now? How is it supposed to act as the main guard for the center of the formation this time?"
"I think that's why Zell assigned six extra units to the center," the third one offers. "Besides, hasn't 3F been weird since the last battle? It started going out into the city like 1A."
"Oh, get this, Jeff got curious one day and followed it."
"Seriously?"
"How did it go?" the other two speak together.
"It just wandered around town at random, no one even noticed. He said it was really weird. Moved through the crowd like it wasn't even there, not a single one of the commoners noticed it."
The others start laughing, and shushing each other when they get too loud. "Are they blind?" one asks. "Are they so stupid they can't even tell rail units apart from humans?"
Listening to their conversation, I realize something. I think I'd kind of gotten that feeling, but never fully recognized it before. The handlers are all nobles, aren't they? Actually recognizing it now, it makes me shiver a little. To think I've been dealing with nobles for so long without even realizing it... Everyone is scared of them because they're so powerful, but at the same time, they're just people...
The deep voice comes back through the stifled laughter. "I swear, things have been such a mess with this group, I was talking to my uncle, and-" he abruptly cuts off as I hear the curtain swing open, the soft footsteps of a rail unit leaving the bath. There are a few more murmurs as they shush each other, and go silent. I guess the conversation is over. They never talked like that in front of us...
Moving away from my spot in the corner of the hall, just around the wall from the handlers, I head further away, back toward the entrance. I didn't understand a lot of that, but what I did was pretty interesting. There were lots of names though, different nobles I guess? I'll have to find out more later, see if I can put the pieces together.
Still, it's a huge surprise that even the handlers, the people who basically tortured me for years, might have been doing what they were ordered, not bothering to put more thought into things. Callous, that's the word. Callously indifferent to everything they did to me...
Frowning at the floor, I continue walking away.