"What is it, Aria?" Eryk asks. I haven't let go of his hand. I've toned it down from earlier, but I'm still making him feel worried. I know it's important in this situation because something is wrong with him, but messing with his soul makes me feel gross...
I glance around the side street we stopped on. There are a few big houses around us, with small front gardens since we're still in the southern district. I spot a servant moving through a window and some people in garden chairs down the street, but otherwise we're alone. "Something is wrong with Eryk." I tell the men. "He isn't able to feel worried right now, so he was saying too much when we were talking to Laslo."
"What are you talking about?" Eryk looks down at me in confusion. "I am worried about what I said, but... no, I did say things that I shouldn't have..." He trails off with his brows furrowing in confusion.
"That's because..." I have a knot in my stomach, but I admit it anyway. "That's because I'm doing it. I'm making you feel worried right now. If I stop, you won't feel it on your own. It's almost like-" The realization hits me before I can finish speaking the thought. It's just like the other day when I ate that food and couldn't worry anymore. But that was a noble food that affects me differently than other people. But its effect...
This is exactly how Beth described drugs. That they mess with you so you can't feel things. "We need to go to the clinic," I tell them. "Beth can help."
"Ok?" Eryk clearly doesn't understand, but he knows well enough to go along with it when I tell him something like this, so he nods. I pull on his hand, and we all get going at a quick pace.
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We don't say anything else until we get to the clinic, all the way up in the central district. "Eryk? What brings you here today?" Nina asks when we walk in, her eyes moving between the three of us.
"I'm not sure," he shrugs. "Aria says there's something wrong with me, and I do think I was acting out of character earlier."
"Umm..." Nina's clearly puzzled by the response. "Well, the doctor is free right now, so you can head right in."
"Thanks, Nina," I smile up at her gratefully, and she waves us in, while John waits at the front.
As soon as Beth turns around in her usual seat, she questions Eryk similarly to Nina. "Why are you here Eryk?" she sounds confused for just a moment, before she jolts. "You didn't get Aria hurt again, did you?" She's already on her feet before I start waving my hand in an attempt to calm her down.
"That's not it, I'm fine!" She pauses, just long enough for me to go on. "We're here for Eryk this time, something is wrong with him."
"What's wrong?" she questions, moving forward more slowly now as she looks him up and down, obviously not finding anything.
"So, we went to Lord's Refining," I start by trying to explain the circumstances. "We were talking with Laslo there, and Eryk started acting weird. It was just like what you told me about drugs, so I brought him right here." Beth looks stunned like she doesn't know how to respond.
"O-oh my..." she eventually manages. "That's serious, let me check him." She gets Eryk onto the table in the middle of the small room. It's weird seeing him up there, where I normally am when we come here for help. He sits off one side, his feet not reaching the floor from the high table.
"So, what happened?" Beth asks as she leans in close to peer at Eryk's face, like she's looking for something I can't see.
"We were speaking with Laslo about an order Aria placed, and I began answering questions I wouldn't normally," Eryk reports. "I revealed some potentially sensitive information before Aria realized what was happening and stopped me." As he speaks, his eyes narrow. I jolt at his realization. "If these are the effects of drugs, my best guess is that he put them in my drink."
Really?! Even if I don't know much about this, that sounds like a really bad thing to do! Wait, is that why he was so mad I didn't drink anything? Was he trying to drug us both into telling him everything?!
"Did you notice anything else? Any other side effects? And how long did it last?"
"Ah," I mumble under my breath and throw a glance at Taylor. I can't really explain in front of him... I tug on Eryk's hand and Beth's dress to stop them. Beth turns and I wave for her to bend down, so I can whisper in her ear.
"It hasn't ended, I'm using magic to keep him acting... mostly normal." What I consider normal for him. Which probably isn't even right. Maybe he would be freaking out right now, and he's too calm because I'm only doing the bare minimum to keep him from saying anything he shouldn't.
I feel so gross...
"Oh?" Beth whispers back. "Can you stop, please? I need to check the symptoms."
"O-ok," I stammer. I'm more than happy to stop, but I'm still really worried what Eryk might say. He doesn't have any super big secrets or anything, does he? Following her instructions anyway, I draw away from his soul. Beth checks Eryk over again, looking into his eyes, and checking his pulse.
"How do you feel? No pain or discomfort anywhere?" she asks while poking and prodding a little more.
"Yeah, I feel fine," Eryk shrugs.
"Mm, I see..." Beth rubs her chin, thinking for a little while before she looks down at me again. "It doesn't look like he's in any immediate danger, but I'm going to keep an eye on him for a while longer just in case. It's getting late, so you should head home. Alright, Aria?"
I hesitate, looking between her and Eryk. Still, I wouldn't trust anyone to take care of him more than Beth, so I slowly nod. "Ok, I'll go home. I have to stop at Eryk's house to change first though." And to pick up my stuff...
"Sure, don't worry, Aria. I'll take care things here."
"Thanks a lot, Miss Beth."
"Have a nice night, Aria." She waves as I walk out. In the next room, John rises when he sees me.
I raise a hand to stop him. "Miss Beth told me to head home for the night. Can you get Eryk back home when she's done?"
"Well..." he looks conflicted. John still thinks he's supposed to protect me, doesn't he...?
"Don't worry, I can get home fine on my own," I tell him. It takes some time for him to consider, but he eventually agrees. At least he trusts me with stuff like this because he knows what I can do.
"But be careful, Aria," he warns me seriously. "A lot of people could be looking for you, after what you two pulled yesterday."
"Yeah, I'll keep an eye out." I smile up at him when he gives me a pat on the head. "Thanks, John." I leave the clinic, waving at him and Nina until the door closes behind me.
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After changing at Eryk's house and informing Irene about what happened, I gather my things, and head home. Irene sends Kristene with me again since it's late. I really wish she'd accept that I'll be fine on my own like the others, but she doesn't know what I'm really capable of and she's just so stubborn...
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In any case, it's just before the eleventh bell when we set off. I shiver a little and hold my basket close, making sure the piece of alba is still in the bottom, wrapped in a piece of cloth so the incredibly valuable metal won't be spotted by anyone.
"It's definitely getting colder," I say to myself under my breath. It's much colder than yesterday, and while it could be the normal difference from one day to the next, it does make it a lot more noticeable than normal.
Even with Kristene here, I stay careful. She's big, but I don't know what sort of people I might have to deal with. I have Chisa scout the area around me for anything out of place, or anyone that looks threatening.
I pull Kristene along when I change direction a few times in response to Chisa noticing people just a bit too suspicious for my liking or places without a clear enough view. Thankfully she goes with it, just chuckling and shaking her head. I've spoken to her even less than Irene, so she really doesn't know how different I am. At least she's not stubborn and is willing to go along with things like this.
We mostly stick to the main roads in the central district as we head north, ensuring Chisa has plenty of clear space to check the surrounding blocks. Even if I know a human isn't any threat to me, I still have to be careful. Using my magic to knock out an attacker would definitely draw suspicion if a crowd of people saw. Not to mention how I'd deal with things afterward, with Kristene right here. She could even get hurt if it got dangerous enough.
Still... the same goes for anyone who wants to attack me, right? Doing anything conspicuously with a lot of witnesses would be bad for them, so they probably wouldn't unless I was alone. For that, Kristene probably is really good to have along. Even if I can fight off any human, it's a lot better if I don't have to.
Despite my silent concerns, we make it up to east main street without any trouble. We stay on the large main road, but the streets are quickly emptying as the sun sinks, noticeably faster now that the days are getting shorter. I really don't want to be out here alone when everyone goes home, so I pick up my pace. Kristene, with her huge adult body, has no trouble keeping up. Adults and their long legs...
Chisa continues circling high, high above, searching for any problems, and still not finding anything definite. We pass through the central plaza with the merchants closing down their stalls for the day, and continue on into the peasant district. So far, so good.
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I stay on my guard the rest of the way home, and Chisa never spots anything out of the ordinary.
Probably thanks to my quick pace - we get back before the last bell, before the streets have fully emptied. I stop to say thanks to Kristene, telling her to get back home safe herself. She gives one of her big belly laughs and pats me on the head a little harder than is comfortable, then walks off.
I turn to the house, eyes moving to the high class guards at the front door as I pass. Their armor is shining bright even in the long shadows thrown over us by the building across the street. They eye me too, a couple sending a glance to the large woman who brought me here for the second day in a row. I wonder what they think of that, an orphan peasant, being escorted by a middle class servant...?
What do they think of this in general, men of their class being ordered to guard people like us...?
All I can do is wonder idly about that as Kristene disappears into what remains of the street crowd, and I join the other kids all heading in the front door. When I look around, a lot of them are going toward the dining room since the strong smell of food is announcing dinner to the whole house.
"I have to do my homework..." I mutter, and go upstairs instead. I do what reading I can up in my room, before the twelfth bell rings. Ami and Zoe call everyone down for dinner. That's right, no Marrianne today... I read for a few ticks longer, straining to make out the words on the papers Claire gave me, before sighing and giving up for now. All I can do is go down to dinner with everyone else.
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After dinner, with the help of some air mana, I try and fight through the rest of my homework. It's so dark though. We're just two days from the dark moon, so most of the large moon is invisible in the night sky, the smaller moon the only one that's mostly lit up. Even so, it's just so tiny compared to the other, it hardly provides any light. If only I had some candles or something, but I can't risk using tin since someone might see...
It really doesn't help that of all things, this particular homework is about some specific battles that took place during The Long War. Lots of details that are kind of boring and really hard to follow when I can hardly make myself focus on them for longer than a few ticks, thanks to the air mana I need to read the words in the first place. No matter how I try, my mind wanders and my attention is diverted by every bump and scratching noise that catches my ear.
Thankfully, I do manage to make it through the reading... eventually. By that point, it's really late. I stretch and yawn, standing up from the chair I dragged over beside the window, and bring it back to the dining room table, then head upstairs.
With my air mana, I only make it a few steps before a thought pops into my head and I channel my mark. "Aria? What is it?" Reena asks. "It's pretty late, honey, is something wrong?"
"No, I just finished my homework and wanted to ask you about- wait-" I shake my head. What am I doing? I shove the air mana back into my well. "Sorry, air mana, I just had a thought and... yeah. Kind of jumped straight to it without thinking."
"Oh, it's fine," she chuckles across the connection. I can feel that she already picked up on what I wanted to ask when I thought about it, but she waits for me to pose the question myself.
"I was wondering about that swearing thing from yesterday. That was definitely like magic, but it didn't work anything like the magic I know." I walk slowly as I think my question to her. Without that air mana, it's really dark and hard to see inside, especially away from windows, like when I get to the bottom of the stairs.
It's good the house is more clean now, because I have to carefully climb up one step at a time on my hands and feet to avoid accidentally slipping and falling, while Reena answers.
Her answer is nothing like I'm expecting though. "They're called sigils." A straightforward answer about magic?! Reena picks up on the thought, both laughing and feeling a little awkward as she continues to explain. "They're a different method for magic than how you do it. We made the swearing sigils and taught them to humanity a long time ago, as a way to enforce swears in our names."
I make it up to the second floor, listening closely to be sure that no one else is in the hall, before I start to circle toward the next staircase, and Reena goes on. "You don't have to concern yourself with sigils. The way they function doesn't make sense to mortals, so throughout history, only a few have ever been discovered."
"But... aren't they a way for normal people to do magic?" I ask. If a human could do magic by making weird movements with their hands and saying stuff, wouldn't more people care about that...?
"Like I said, sigils are nonsensical to mortals. There is no way for you to figure them out, or even to know what they'll do until you activate one. They don't follow the same logic as you do. It's a realm completely outside of mortal understanding, so even if mortals can use some of them for magic, they would need to be taught the proper sigil by us, or otherwise stumble across it by accident. What I'm trying to say is, since you are able to use magic on your own, sigils are basically useless to you. You'd make better use of your time learning about your own form of magic instead."
Is that so...? "Alright. I'll do that." I guess it makes sense when I think of it that way. Flailing around randomly to try and hit on the right thing by accident without any way of figuring it out logically would be a waste of the time I have to learn magic, especially when I don't have to. I can just use it normally without going through all that.
"So, was that all, Aria?" She asks.
"Yup, thanks for explaining that for me. I was really confused when all that happened at the party."
"That's understandable. Since most mortals can't perceive magic at all, you can't even tell when a sigil works. So naturally, most would think they're nothing but superstition anyway."
"Yeah, I guess you're right." I nod as I reach the third floor. No way to figure them out, or even to feel when they work, no wonder why no one bothers. Or rather, even knows they exist in the first place... I get to my door, stopping for a bit to rub my eyes tiredly. "Thanks, Reena. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Aria." I stop channeling my mark and head in to bed. Even in her sleep, Emily shifts and wraps her arms around me so I can snuggle against her. I haven't been sleeping great lately, but I haven't been woken by my nightmares either. Things are definitely starting to get better now, aren't they?
I have issues ahead, like dealing with Eryk's competitors and trying to survive in battle, and longer term, finding a way out of becoming a concubine for the Varishes. And beyond that, helping Reena with whatever it is she's so desperate to do. But I'm not alone anymore. I have Effy and Eryk and Beth and Emily and Marrianne. And everyone else around me, all these people who care about me. Whether they know what I am or not - whether I deserve it or not - they actually care about a thing like me.
Settled comfortably in Emily's arms, I let out a long breath, close my eyes, and relax. There are things I can do, and amazing people to help with what I can't. And I can grow, and change, and learn. There will always be tons of hard and painful things ahead, but if I let myself hope just a tiny bit, I think there will be good times too, as long as I keep trying.
I smile, and sleep soon comes to take me.