I'm surprised I'm not tired. As I walk into the refinery, halfway to the second bell, I wonder how I managed to get any rest given everything that happened last night. I follow John down the short hall, turning into Eryk office, and stop on reflex.

Then I finally look down at myself, my heart dropp- No, don't think about it. I forcibly halt my thoughts.

Ok, calmly now. I take a few slow breaths, feeling John's eyes on me. Then I look down at myself again. I'm still dirty because I didn't get to clean myself up yesterday. Claire is going to be mad at me. I let myself feel the sadness and disappointment. It's measured, I can handle it like this.

I take off my dirty shoes and walk into Eryk's office. "Good morning," I greet him neutrally.

"Aria," he responds. His eyes trace over my clothes, be he maintains his usual confident expression. I'm glad, Eryk is still the same. I sit down at the table and eat, John leaving soon after. Once more, I try to remember all of Irene's lessons and eat politely.

Eryk doesn't say anything about yesterday. He just sits behind his desk, reading and writing things for a while. It doesn't really feel tense, which is nice. When I'm done eating, Eryk rings the little bell on his desk. He has the shopkeeper get John from the front so he can take the bowl away and give me a little more water.

It's almost time for my lesson, barely fifty ticks left before the second bell. I try to keep my nerves calm. I can't lose myself now. Should I have warned Eryk about how fragile I feel? I don't know, but there's a knock at the door, so I won't be doing that now.

I try to keep my heart under control as Eryk has me rise from my seat, and brings me to the other side of the table, where I sat last time Claire was here. After a short delay, the door opens, John standing aside to let Claire in. She's just like usual, her nice, dark dress more simple at a glance than when you notice the strongly dyed and unusually shining fabric. Her dark hair is tied back into a braid today.

Every time I look at her, it makes me even more aware of how far above me she is. How little something like me should matter in the eyes of a person like her. It's hard to keep my wounded emotions under control as she looks down at me. Then her lips curve down into a frown, and the regret is almost unbearable.

I was wrong, I'm not ready for this. I feel like I'm going to unravel. All it took was a frown, and my emotions are already coming apart.

My knees are weak. The darkness is closing in. I won't let it take me. Do I have to use the mark already?

"Hold on," John's voice stops me. I clutch a hand to my chest, my breathing is shallow. I can feel beads of sweat forming all over my body from the enormous effort of just trying to keep myself together. "Eryk, could you please explain Aria's circumstances? I believe she is in a... delicate state today." I look up as Eryk turns from Claire to me. He can definitely read the panic on my face.

"Aria, please wait in the back room." All I can do is nod shakily. Then I turn around and walk stiffly into the back room. I shut the door behind me and sit down. My butt still hurts, I didn't have any earth mana to speed up the healing last night. I hope it's mostly gone by tomorrow, because sitting feels really unpleasant. Sound draws my attention away from my discomfort.

It's faint, but I can still hear Eryk through the door. At first, I don't want to know. I want to convert the water mana so I can't hear him anymore. But it will help me with the lesson, so I leave it, until I realize how comforting his voice is. I can hear him describing what happened yesterday so she'll understand.

I hear her make sounds of shock, sounds of sympathy. Even John, normally content to watch silently, explains some of what I told him earlier, how I can't take much right now. Somehow, it sounds like Claire understands.

Then her feet move across his office floor. She opens the door and walks into the back room. I look up at her, still scared, still nervous about what she thinks, what she'll say to me. I'm worried that she will think teaching a child who gets beaten pathetically like this is below her and unworthy. Or one that can't even get adopted has no future. Or, or... I don't know.

My whole stomach is a knot of worry from unknown what-ifs. It's all I can do to keep worrying instead of letting myself stop caring.

But she doesn't say anything. She just walks over and takes the chair next to mine. She takes out some chalk and a small blackboard, and begins our lesson. The relief that comes over me, a bit at a time, is wonderful. She's just going to teach me.

Claire writes out the letters on the blackboard, and I happily lose myself in the lesson. She has me copy them. Has me write them out a number of times. Reading them is really easy. I'm sure it's thanks to the water mana, but she only has to go over a letter a few times before I start to remember it.

The shape of the marks, whether they have straight or curved parts, I work hard to memorize them all so I will be able to read them. It is made a little more difficult by how there are two version of each letter, but Claire says we'll get to the explanations of why the differences are important later.

It takes a whole lot more time and work trying to copy them myself. They always come out all scribbly, especially the curvy letters. I keep working at it, following any advice and instructions she has to slowly improve my writing, until she finally calls for a break.

I put down the chalk, my fingers are a little sore because it's too big for my hand. Checking the count running in the back of my mind, I suddenly realize that it's already fifth bell, time for lunch.

Claire goes out to eat, while John brings me more food. I eat in Eryk's office again. It's weird, I'm not that hungry. I can barely finish half of it. Is it because it's only been three bells since breakfast?

There's a lot of time before Claire comes back for my afternoon lessons, so I take a nap in the back room. John puts out the blankets and I'm not in any state to put up much resistance. Then he gets me some metal so I can make more earth mana. I consider taking it easy on the mana today, but decide that I'm not in good enough condition to make any sort of progress attempting to get myself off of it. So I generate a whole lot.

The happy feeling it creates all around me is really nice. I lie down, sleeping lightly. The nightmares feel so far away, I can't even focus on them right now.

While my body is sleeping soundly, I'm aware of Riko talking Chisa into getting her that water mana she asked for. It's a good time since all my stuff is in our room and no one is home. I follow along on her little trip, getting the mana, and bringing it over to Riko who somehow managed to climb to the roof of the garrison despite her constant complaints about doing anything difficult.

After passing if off, it feels like Riko's already sensitive ears stretch out across the whole city now.

Suddenly, she's able to pick out all the tiny little sounds of humans walking around, their shoes slapping on rough stone roads. The horses and other animals with their weird shaped feet clapping even harder and heavier, forming an interesting rhythm. All the speaking voices and groans of turning cart wheels, the drifting pulse of music, clang of blacksmiths like Gremory working in their forges, and the swish of fur on faraway rooftops.

It's all laid out before her and she is incredibly pleased for once. I just remind her not to carry too much of the stuff so it won't create problems. As Chisa flies away, I note that she took some air for herself, her eyes are sharper than ever. It's good that they can make use of these things, I thank them repeatedly for always helping me keep an eye out in the city.

Even Myra wonders if she should make a trip back to town for some mana since it'll be a lot of help the next time she challenges that jerk that she's never managed to knock off of his mountain.

Based on her memories of some sort of massive clawed beast swatting her from the mountainside every time she's challenged it over the years, I'm not too sure what to think of that, but if she really wants to...? Just don't die please? And how old are you anyway? Unfortunately, my questions receive no specific answers.

Once their little adventure concludes, it's only a little longer before I'm woken up again. Claire is back. I quickly push the mana down into my well, and the happiness vanishes. I shake my head a little. I can't keep relying on it like this.

Once my emotions aren't in complete tatters, I'll have to work on reducing how much I need like I did with Emily. After John carries away the regretfully dirty blankets, we continue class. It's mostly still writing practice, but she also teaches me how to write the word 'ace,' apparently one of the only words I can write with just the first few letters of the alphabet that I've learned so far. Even so, it's pretty amazing. I can look at the markings and read the word. I still need her to explain what it actually means, but once she does that, I can finally read and understand my first word.

Class ends at the eighth bell. When Claire leaves, I return her polite curtsy, despite my current state.

In the end, once Eryk explained things, she did not say a single word about my clothes, how dirty I am from literally sleeping in the street last night, or the new bandages wrapped over my fresh wounds. She just taught me everything she could and politely went on her way.

----------------------------------------

I sit at the table in Eryk's office after she's gone. My head is still full of the letters I learned. There's even a tiny blackboard and piece of chalk on the table in front of me. My 'homework' is to write out the first five letters of the alphabet she taught me today when I get home. Thus the name. Apparently I need to do it because it is very important that I keep practicing regularly in order to really remember well.

Regular practice... Thinking about that reminds me of what Reena said, about being more aware of my mana, at all times. Kind of like how I'm aware of my divine gear to keep time now, I guess. It takes regular practice, doing things over and over to get better at them...

Eryk puts down his writing thing. Before he speaks, I ask, "Hey Eryk. What is that thing you write with called?" I want to learn more words.

"This? It's called a pen," he answers simply. I just nod, and he goes on. "So, how was your first lesson?"

"It was really good, Claire taught me the letters from 'a' to 'e.' I can remember them pretty well, so I should be able to read them when I see them, I think."

"Good. Five letters in one day is very nice progress," he assures me. I... didn't even consider whether that was a good or bad speed. I just want to learn everything I can, so I guess I'll take his word for it. "Now, let's talk about your work schedule," he changes topics. "I was thinking of having you work after your classes on Arcadays, Saradays, and Firodays."

"Huh? Only three days a week?" I ask.

"Of course, you're still a kid. You need time to go out and play, you know?"

I blink at him slowly. "I'm sorry, I have no idea what that means."

He raises an eyebrow. "I mean that the other two days, you should just go out and play with other kids your age." Playing... with kids my age.

"Like tag?" I ask when I realize that might be what he's talking about.

"Yes? That is a game that kids play." He sighs slightly. "Let me guess, you've never had a chance to go play with other kids before?" He hesitates, but I can tell he has another question. Leaning forward on his desk, he asks it. "What is your schedule like at the orphanage?"

"We're expected to go collect things or work six days a week. If we don't bring anything home, we don't get dinner or breakfast the next morning. Shanadays, we go to church, and then we usually sell the things we collected during the week. After that is free time." I give him the rough rundown of how it works.

"Figures," Eryk says darkly. "Aria, remember: that isn't normal. Most kids are expected to help their parents out at home, and are given plenty of time to run around and play. Fredricson is just a heartless slave driver. I know you have a lot on your plate, so if you want to use those two days for your own studies, I'd understand. But please, at least sometimes, go out and just play. You need it, you're always under way more stress than a kid your age should be under. Alright?"

I think over his words for a bit. I still remember how much fun I had playing tag. With all the awful things I've been through, I clearly can't take much more. I can tell just from how shaky I am right now, like I'm at the edge of a cliff, where anything could send me tumbling over. "Sure, I'll try to go play. Do you, umm, know how I should do that?" I ask, shyly looking down a little. Normal kids play all the time, but I don't even know how.

Even if he's good at keeping a straight face, I can see sadness in his eyes. "I'd introduce you to my niece, but..." He perks up, thinking aloud. "No, that might actually work. Try to get yourself cleaned up as much as possible before class tomorrow. I'll have you wear that dress from before and bring you to my niece's house to play. Also, she's the one I borrowed the dress from," he notes, "so make sure to thank her for it."

"Sure, thanks a lot Eryk."

"It's no problem. It's the least I can do after screwing up so bad last night."

Oh, so, we're finally talking about that I guess...

"No, that isn't your fault," I say immediately, "Mister Fredricson is the one who messed it up," I assure him. I was stupid to get my hopes up before things were settled, but for once, I can completely lay the blame on someone else. This one truly isn't my fault at all. Mister Fredricson is just evil.

"Yeah, I know it's all his fault," he agrees, "but I'm really, really sorry that I got your hopes up, just to have it not work out. No child should ever have to go through something like that. I'm really sorry."

"I'm the one who got my hopes up. I didn't think things through enough," I shake my head. "I didn't even consider that it might not work out, that isn't your fault. Still... I can't understand why Mister Fredricson refused. Does he really hate you or something?"

"I don't get it either," Eryk leans on his desk. It creaks faintly while he laces his finger together. "Quoting me an exorbitant price just makes it seem like he was trying to insult me, but I can't imagine what I've done to make him form a grudge like that. I mean, he made so much off of our first contract, I'd expect him to be glad to keep working together. Huh, I don't suppose that could be it, right?"

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"What?" I ask, not following where he's going with that.

"Assuming he earns fifty irons off of your work here every month for the next thirteen years before you come of age, how much would that be?" He asks.

I take a moment, then answer, "Seven thousand eight hundred irons. That's, umm... About a quarter of what he asked for to adopt me." I'm still not sure where he's going.

"Hmm, further off than I thought." Then he explains. "I was thinking he might have set the price around the point where he would make as much off of it as he would from you working here until you become an adult. But that doesn't seem to be the case. It could still be that he just set it too high so he can hold onto you longer, make more off of you for a while, and come back later with a more reasonable offer. Just to make more in the long-run. I wouldn't put it past him," Eryk grunts unpleasantly.

I frown slightly at the thought, because I could totally see it too.

"There's still one big thing I don't understand, why would he have the protection of a noble? Because he sells kids to them?" I ask.

"He... what?" Eryk suddenly looks completely lost.

"Umm?" Which part is he even questioning?

"No, go back. You said he has the protection of a noble, what do you mean?"

"Yeah, didn't Miss Beth-" I cut myself off too late as I realize what happened. Frank told Beth about that, but she must not have mentioned it to Eryk. Frank did tell her not to tell other people... "A-actually, I just realized that's supposed to be secret, please don't mention it to anyone else," I warn him.

"Then how do you know? And what about Beth?" he questions, his whole head tilting slightly to the side at this strange turn in our conversation.

"I can't say. I-" I cut short when I feel the surge of guilt in my chest. "N-no, I mean," I stumble over my words. "Umm, well..." It's suffocating. "I have to..." I hold my chest, unable to calm down when it comes on so suddenly like this.

"I know things that I can't possibly know and I can't explain how I know them," I blurt out. That eases the guilt enough that I manage to control myself again. I pant lightly, looking down. This is bad, any little thing will set me off without warning...

"You really aren't in a good condition right now," Eryk comments, obviously worried.

"No, I'm not." At my admission, he walks around his desk and kneels to put a hand on my head, rubbing gently in a way that helps me calm down.

I know the adoption didn't work out, but... I still wonder what it would have been like, getting to call him 'Dad...'

After some time, when I'm feeling a little better, he smiles, then moves back to his desk. "Well, I won't pry. You've already mentioned a number of interesting facts without any way of explaining how you know them in the past, so I'm not that surprised."

He shrugs off the crazy thing I just told him and moves on. It makes me smile a little. I love how he can just take things like that in stride. It helps ease my worries, something I really need right now. "You said he has the protection of a noble, what do you mean?"

"Right, remember this is supposed to be secret," I remind him. "He has a letter from a noble that says he can do whatever he wants to the kids at the orphanage. That's how he gets away with beating kids like, well, this." I just raise my arms, indicating to all of my bandages.

Without asking any more about that, he moves right on. "Alright, and what about selling to the nobles?"

"About that, all I know is that he sells them to nobles," I shrug. That makes Eryk frown as he leans back in his chair, thinking deeply.

He mutters to himself. "He lives all the way on the north side, he isn't even near the top of the vulgent class. How could he possibly..." Even as he trails off, I fill in the 'have noble connections' part, which reminds me of another big, possibly useful piece of information.

"Wait, there was something else." Eryk looks back down from the ceiling, to me. "I met Mister Fredricson at the church after the service yesterday and he was with one of the priests. Uh, actually, Claire was with me at the time, and based on the way she was acting, the priest must have been really really high class, so I think he was a noble."

"A noble, huh," he says flatly, like he's still thinking things over. "Right, I think the priests at the church are low ranked nobles." He thinks for a while longer, eyes closed like he's trying hard to remember something difficult. "I think they interact with commoners much more often since they're not exactly treated as nobles when working at the church... Why would Claire treat him as a noble rather than a priest?"

"I'm not sure about all the rules, but from the interactions we went through, Mister Fredricson was accompanying the priest and I was accompanying Claire. Would that have anything to do with it?" I try adding in any more information I know so he might be able to figure something out.

"Well, I suppose if she saw them moving together and assumed that, she would have treated him like a noble," Eryk is obviously taking his best guess. "Anything else? His name? Did he say anything?"

"He didn't actually give his name. I kind of assumed that meant he was so high class he didn't even have to," I note. "And he didn't say anything to us, he just let Mister Fredricson talk to us. But all he did was ask about my education. Even Claire said she had no idea what he was after. But he was weirdly happy. Like, completely grinning, I've never seen him so happy before, it was creepy."

Eryk sighs loudly. "Fredricson, nobles, priests, and selling kids... I can't imagine just selling them kids would be enough to get their protection, could it? There's something going on, but I can't guess what with such scattered intel. I'll have some people look into it more. But if we're investigating nobles, we'll have to be discrete. I'll let you know if I learn anything else."

"That sounds good, thanks Eryk."

"Good, now..." he thinks for a few moments. "You can head home for the day."

"Huh?" I blink.

"I'm not going to push you right now. Go get some rest, wash up, relax. Just try to settle down and feel better, alright?"

"Ok, I'll do that." I don't argue at all, that sounds really, really nice right now. "No wait, I can't go home yet," I realize aloud.

"Why not?"

"Uhh..." With the same feeling in my chest, I know I have to tell him. "Emily said Mister Fredricson is going to beat us when we go home for missing curfew last night, so she wanted to go home together, so we don't have to go through it alone."

"Urgh..." he groans, hands on his head. "I swear, that man..." Then he stands up, coming over again and this time, he hesitates a little, before he actually hugs me.

I'm surprised at first. But then I close my eyes and just hug him back. With a hand rubbing the back of my head, he says, "You can use the back room for a bit. Sit, do your homework, sleep, whatever you want. I'll have John take you home when it's time."

It takes me some time to respond. The feeling of his warm arms around me is so nice. Different than Emily. Safe. I wonder if this is what having a parent would have felt like...?

Finally, I respond, "Sure, thanks Eryk," with a grateful smile. He releases me, so I head into the back room and he quietly closes the door behind me.

Since the building is right near the wall, the light slanting in through the window is never direct sunlight. It fills the room with a slightly dimmed, calming feeling. Even the bits of dust floating around and the kind of musty smell of the room are comforting. It reminds me of spending the day learning with Claire here, and of how much more I'll learn from now on.

I smile, I really like this room. I sit down at the table, but my butt still hurts, so I try the floor instead. I lie on my back, but that's just as bad. My front isn't so bad, but feels awkward on the wooden floor.

Then the door opens behind me. I look up to find John staring down at me, lying face down on the floor.

"Umm?"

He doesn't even need to ask what I'm doing. I push myself up a little and explain, "I'm trying to find a comfortable way to sit for a while."

That just makes him smirk a bit. "Here, I brought some blankets that should help with that."

"Oh." It takes a moment to remember Eryk said I could sleep. He always puts blankets in here for that, so I shouldn't be surprised. But I totally missed him ringing his bell while I wasn't paying attention.

John sets out the blankets while my wandering thoughts make me realize something.

"Here you go," he says once he's done. Then he pats me on the head, and leaves the room. I smile at the closed door, then go back to that last thought. Paying attention. It reminds once more of what Reena mentioned. I should pay more attention to my mana. I wonder how I should actually do that?

"Hmm..." Nothing is immediately coming to mind. I look around, is there anything I could possibly get inspiration from? Blackboard, table, chairs, my tiny blackboard sitting on the floor in front of me... Staring down at the tiny blackboard sitting just in front of my knees finally reminds me that I haven't actually moved. The comfortable blankets are sitting right there, a couple ingots next to them in case I want to sleep, and I'm still kneeling on the hard wood floor. I don't even have to worry since they're the ones I already got dirty earlier.

Well, maybe a little guilty that I got them dirty earlier, but I'm not feeling good enough right now to feel that bad about it, I really needed the sleep and Eryk knew it. In any case, at least this kneeling position is comfortable since I don't have any injuries on the front of my legs. Still, those wonderfully comfortable blankets are calling me, so I walk over to them. I lie down on my front again, letting myself sink down into the layers of soft, fluffy cloth.

"Ahh..." I moan happily. I love this feeling, this is wonderful. Within moments, I can feel myself starting to drift to sleep, barely managing to shake myself and sit back up before I go under. I can't sleep like this right now or I'll wind up having nightmares. Absolutely not something I feel I can take in my current state. I glance at the ingots of nuvrite and iron. No, I didn't really want to go to sleep, at least not yet. I still have things to think about.

Instead of lying down, I push myself back up to kneel again on the blankets. The position is still nice and comfortable, especially with the soft blankets. And it's kind of funny how the blankets squish around under me if I lean one way or the other. Sitting up will at least help me not fall asleep.

I release a long, slow breath. Since I don't really know exactly how I'm supposed to pay attention to my mana all the time, I try to mimic what I did with my divine gear. I just look at it, clearing my mind and watching intently. I close my eyes, letting my breath come in and out steadily.

I still feel pokes at the edge of my consciousness. Little bits of nervousness from my lingering worries, like the dark clouds that still hang at the edges of my mind, promising a return to that gray, emotionless life if I break down again. I try to brush the tiny thoughts and bits of anxiety away. I want to allow myself to be calm, peaceful.

I don't know if what I'm doing is working. If it's really doing anything at all. I just sit, wait, watch, and breathe. It isn't like back then either. I'm not staring off blankly, an empty head with an empty heart. Instead, I'm alert, conscious of myself and my own admittedly delicate feelings.

This sensation is completely different. Watching my mana without doing anything, just letting it be, is also new to me.

I've done this a handful of times before, like that time when I couldn't move after eating some lele fruit, and managed to discover dark mana. But unlike the other times, I'm not looking for anything. Not examining my mana. I'm just looking at it, letting it be. Trying to let myself become more aware of it as a whole.

Time ticks by. Sitting present in the moment, it feels like it passes very slowly. I am keenly aware of each passing moment. The slow turn and click of my gear marking time as it passes. The ninth bell rings. I keep sitting for a little while longer.

Eventually, I decide I want to think more. Letting myself continue to gently watch the pooling mana within me, I turn my thoughts back to my dream. I really want to think about it, and about Reena.

First and foremost, Reena apologized. That's nice. She said some really mean things, so I'm happy that she said she didn't mean them. She was as angry as I was, so I guess she also started just saying things to hurt me. I remember those feelings. How sad and angry it made me when she started calling me names. But I did the exact same thing. I was just as wrong as her to speak in anger. We both made the same mistake. For that at least, I want to forgive her.

I take a deep breath. Those emotions come back. The pain, the anger and spite and feelings of betrayal. They soak out, a deep pain in my chest. Just that is almost enough to break me. A few tears leak from my closed eyes. Then I exhale a long, shuddering breath, and I try to let it go.

The darkness recedes. I feel a little better. Having one fight with Reena shouldn't ruin our relationship. We said things we didn't mean. I forgive her for that. I continue to sit and breathe for a while. I'm still aware of my mana. It feels a little different, I think. Not in any way I can really tell, just... better. I let myself sink back. Breathing in and out. Calm. Peaceful. It's nice.

A little after the tenth bell, I turn my thoughts inward once more. Reena said we're alike. Even though she's a god and I'm not even human.

For us to be alike anyway... But now I get it. Or maybe I did before, without completely realizing it. I called her 'The Powerless Goddess' in my anger. That awful title. I even went further, telling her to beg for my help. Judging by what she said about needing my help and having no way to repay me, I struck right at her weakness, more accurately and strongly than I was even aware of at the time. In that dream, she practically was begging for help.

I see it now. An ancient being, compared for hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of years to her more powerful kind. No one prays to her, no one thinks she's useful. No one cares about her. Just like me. Despite the seemingly infinite difference between where we stand, we're the same. Supposedly powerful forces with no ability to do any of what is expected of us.

I channel her mark, turning my attention to Reena. Her colorless mana - her presence stretches through me, a gentle expansion that I can feel all throughout my mana now that I'm really looking. I want to apologize, but it feels like she is doing something. I wait patiently, though it only takes her a moment. She wavers, brushing lightly past as she reaches out. Her mana comes to connect with the outside of my... self. I don't have a word for it, I've never come up with one, the barrier that separates what is inside me from what's outside of me. Actually, 'barrier' feels like a good word.

Once she touches the barrier, I can feel her communicating. The first feeling is simple. Just a soft questioning. She wants to know what I want.

"I wanted to apologize," I think back to her. I can feel the movement. The way my own mind causes slight disturbance within me. It's such a tiny change that I never would have noticed before. I can feel the way my barrier shifts, Reena understanding my intentions. So I go on.

I apologize as sincerely as I can. "I was angry and said things I did not mean to say. I'm sorry I called you powerless and insulted you. It was wrong. I know how much it hurts when someone attacks something like that. Something that is always hurting already. I'm sorry that I hurt you like that."

Her response is soft. Like a smile. It comes with pain and acceptance. I feel the emotions ring through me, and find myself shedding a few tears when I get some of the endless impression of how long she has felt this way. She follows with a strong sense of forgiveness, and a much smaller hope that we can help each other.

"Maybe, I still have a lot to think through," I respond. I'm relieved that we've at least come to an understanding after our fight. But there are still so many more things I need to think about, I need more time.

A gentle agreement spreads. The feeling says, 'take your time.'

With a small smile, I let the connection go and feel the mark go quiet, no longer moving. Reena's presence dissipates with it, shrinking away, back to the mark, then it's gone.

It sit for a while longer, remembering those sensations. They were strange and interesting. I've never noticed them much before, those tiny vibrations that move with my mind. I want to stay conscious like this, I am so much more aware of myself. But it's difficult, if my thoughts wander even a little bit, I lose the feeling immediately and need to clear my head again. It seems like I can only do it when I just stop, wait, and listen. As expected, it's going to take a lot of practice to get better at this.

I'm done thinking things through for now. Clearing the air with Reena has at least let my emotions settle down. I feel more secure and stable again. Slowly, I open my eyes. I try to maintain the same conscious state, but even just looking around the room is too much to keep my concentration on my whole self, so I give up after a few moments. I'll practice more later.

The next thing I want to do is just practice some more writing. I grab the piece of chalk in front of me, then go for the tiny blackboard. I'll do it just like she taught me...

"Huh." I mutter to myself. I grabbed them in the wrong hands, so I awkwardly switch them so the little board is in my left and the chalk is in my right, like Claire showed me. Then I just start writing. I keep practicing the letters she taught me, scraping my wobbly chalk over the little board, until it is covered in little scribbles.

Then I wipe them away with the side of my hand, and write more. The simple, repetitive action is soothing. Even if it does sort of remind me of practicing our strikes when we were younger. Well, practicing strikes was the only time I wasn't getting hit or anything, so even back then it was kind of nice. Huh...