Irene fixes me with a serious expression. "This may be our last chance to teach you before you meet your instructor again. Try to learn everything you can so you do not embarrass yourself."
I nod stiffly. "I'll do my best."
"Now, let's begin with a review." She gets right into it. "How would you greet another woman?"
"Curtsy," I answer immediately.
"And if she is of higher standing?"
"Incline my head to show her more respect."
"What if she approaches to take your hand?"
It takes a moment to recall the exact steps she described. Even though it was just yesterday, so much happened afterward that it seems like a long time ago... "If she approaches, then... I let her take my hands between hers."
"What about inclining your head?" she asks immediately. Right, because she's higher class.
"Uhh, then-" But I stop. "Actually, no. I don't remember you saying to incline my head to a higher rank woman if she takes my hands."
Irene raises an eyebrow, but says, "Very good." I'm surprised I remembered that. "Now what if the woman is with a man?"
"I curtsy more deeply instead, and incline my head." I have to remember, they're higher rank than me. That part is really important, because if I ever end up doing this for real, it's pretty much guaranteed that they'll be above me.
"Now what if the woman moves to take your hands while she's with the man?"
I blink a little. From her lecture on mixed company greetings... "Is she higher or lower class than the man?" I ask.
Irene grins a little. "You don't know."
"I don't..." I mutter. "Doesn't that mean I don't know them? Then why is she taking my hands?" I thought she told me that was for women who were close.
"Perhaps it's the man you aren't familiar with, or you are at an informal event," she proposes.
"Right..." I guess those are possibilities too. "Then..." she definitely didn't give me a specific answer to this one already. Is she testing how well I react without exact instructions? "Mmm..." I grumble while thinking hard. From what I've learned so far, women definitely have to act more respectful toward men, among the greetings and ways of showing respect, there were definitely a lot more respectful things and exceptions to the normal patterns of how to do things.
So, if the normal thing to do is choose the man over the woman in an uncertain situation, does that mean I should... what, reject her greeting and greet the man instead? No no no, definitely not. She's higher class than me, outright refusing to greet her would be insane, wouldn't it? I think back to Ophelia at the clothing store. Even if she was practically growling at John, she still took his hand.
So refusing her greeting is out of the question. In that case, I just greet the man first and then take her hands? Kind of turn it into two separate greetings instead of a group greeting? That might work... "Umm, could I greet the man first, then take the woman's hand?"
"You might, but how do you know that won't be rude to the lady?"
Rude to the lady? Well, I guess while you're generally supposed to be more respectful toward men, a high class woman would still come first, wouldn't she? But again I'm back to not knowing whether she's higher class than him. What kind of annoying woman goes to take your hand when she's in mixed company anyway?
Oh. I blink stupidly when my question pretty much provides the answer. It's just like John earlier. A woman who comes up to take your hand despite being in mixed company is obviously much higher class than you, and anyone else around her. I may not know who ranks above or below who, but her coming to take my hand shows that she definitely does, and she knows she's the most important person around.
"Oh, I get it. She's much higher class. So I take her hand, then greet the man."
Irene nods lightly. "That is correct. Though, you will need to figure out things like that much, much faster if you are ever put in that situation."
That's... very true. If I took that long to figure out what to do in the middle of a real greeting, I would have ended up staring blankly at everyone for a dangerously long time. Even if I came up with the right answer, everyone would probably write me off and walk away by then. "I'll... try to get faster at it."
"Good." After going through such a difficult one, she quickly covers the rest of the basics, mostly focusing on whether I remember the alternate greetings between men and women, like when a woman offers her hand, or when a man offers his. I remember those very well, especially after what I saw John do. It seems like even a little experience really helps with understanding this.
"Ok, now for showing respect. First, how would a man show respect for you?"
"One arm in front of his waist, one arm behind, and a small bow at the waist," I recall. Yet another man-woman gesture that doesn't exactly fall in line with the others because it includes a small bow. From the description, this one generally sounds the closest to how I bow, except I just leave my arms at my sides when I do it.
"A woman?"
"She would press her hands together in front of her chest. Palms together." I do the gesture as I say it.
"What if you are showing respect for a man?"
"Hands together, but interlace my fingers." I change the gesture slightly, sliding my fingers so they all interlock together.
"If he's of lower status?" It feels like she's throwing the questions at me one after another to see how fast I can answer?
"It's the same." I don't move my hands.
"Higher status?"
"Then I bow as well." I lean forward slightly into a small bow and lower my head while still maintaining the same position with my hands interlaced in front of me.
"Ok. Now, you are speaking to a man of higher rank than you. You say something, then he places a hand to his chest and bows. What do you?"
"He..." I mutter. She hasn't told me about that gesture. If he was showing me respect, wouldn't he put his arms at his waist, not his chest? But if he's not showing me respect, who is he showing it to? "I would... look around to see who he is gesturing to," I answer somewhat uncertainly.
"Mm," she nods slightly. "It is a man you do not know, what should you do?"
"A... man?" But wait, didn't she just say he bowed? She's mostly been teaching me gestures that I'll see myself. Meaning ones between men and women, or two women. She hasn't said much about gestures men use toward each other. I try to scrounge together the little bits she's mentioned, and remember the few times I've seen things like this before, like with Eryk.
From what I do know of men's gestures, they usually only bow toward women, don't they? At least for a woman, we're only supposed to bow to men from what I recall. And even then, it's only when they're higher status than us. So for a man to bow to another man, all I can guess is that the other man is way higher class or something. Which brings me back to the original question she posed. If the man I'm speaking to is higher than me, and he shows that much respect for someone else, I should probably show them respect too, right?
So I answer, "I think I would clasp my hands like this," interlacing my fingers again, just like before. "And I would bow too." Even though I'm sitting, I bow at my waist and lower my head to look down at the table rather than at Irene. I wait for a moment, then raise my head again.
Irene nods. "Correct. But still too slow." I wince when she immediately follows with more criticism. "You seem to remember the previous topics, so let's move on to some others. You won't be signing any of your contracts with Master Eryk yourself, but you should still maintain proper etiquette when it is signed for you." I nod, and she goes on to begin her explanations. Apparently, once a business agreement is signed, the signers, or apparently me, should do different things after. For women, it's clasping hands. From her description, it sounds like the women's gesture is the same as greeting a friend. I wonder if that's on purpose? Is there some meaning to them being the same?
Then she gets to the one between a man and a woman, the one I saw Eryk do with Claire. She describes how the woman offers her hand first, then the man takes just her fingers. That part is just like a greeting between a man and woman if the woman wants to show him preference, but the next part is where they differ. While holding hands, the man presses his left hand to his chest. Then she explains that if the man is of higher standing, the woman bends her knees to lower herself, and bows her head. And apparently, if the man is much higher class, he can offer his hand for a light handshake. Again, it's a lot like the greeting, this time the one I saw John use at the clothing shop. Only like the other for business agreements, it has the man hold his left hand to his chest.
I still don't know why, but a lot of the polite gestures I'm learning have a whole lot of things in common. Is it just to make them all harder to tell apart or something...?
Irene moves on to when the woman is higher class than the man, and this time, I realize that she's finally describing the exact gesture I saw between Eryk and Claire. Holding hands, his left hand to his chest, and he lowers his head. Wait, does that mean that Claire is higher class than Eryk? Unable to help myself, I ask Irene about it.
"Hmm," she seems to think for a moment. "It is hard to say without seeing her myself, but it seems more likely that he was trying to express to her how grateful he was."
"Grateful?" I tilt my head a little, not understanding. She hasn't mentioned anything about showing gratitude with any of the different manners she's told me about.
"When acting politely, you can use a subordinate gesture with someone, even if they may be your equal, to express how much you respect or are grateful toward them.
"Subordinate?" This one gives me some idea of what it means, but I ask for the definition anyway.
"Subordinate as in when you are below those you are interacting with. When you are lower class than they are." She looks vaguely bothered having to explain, but returns to her usual, strict and straightforward look a moment later. At least the word basically means what I thought.
"So you can act lower status to show them extra respect..." I nod to myself a little.
"One must be very careful. If you do so in front of others, they may very well begin to look down on you for lowering yourself before them."
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"Ahh..." I'm not sure if I can completely understand how that works, but it sounds bad.
"Now, let us move on." She covers the last bits of business agreements, like how they can be done sitting down or standing, before finishing with that topic. Once she's done, I sigh slightly. Even if it's all really hard to memorize like this, I have to try my hardest. And that's one more topic down. "I'm beginning to get quite parched talking like this..." Irene says, as if she's speaking to herself. "Before we continue, I will get us some drinks."
"O-ok..." I answer vaguely while she gets up and leaves the room. I guess I just... wait here? Actually, having a short break is really helpful. I close my eyes and keep breathing nice, deep breaths and letting my mind relax while listening to Irene move through the house. Actually, now that I'm listening for them, I can hear more footsteps as well. Lighter. Much lighter. I can barely hear them even when I'm paying attention.
Definitely Selena, Kristene is way too big and heavy to have footsteps like that. I hear Irene and Selena's footsteps over in one area a few rooms away, then Irene comes back holding a shiny metal tray with a couple glasses and a pitcher of water on top. The tray is pretty, it looks like it has little swirls engraved in it, and it's circular instead of rectangular, so it's really eye catching.
Irene sets the tray down so lightly, the glasses on top hardly make a sound. One by one, she removes each glass from the tray. She sets one down in front of me, one in front of herself, then takes the pitcher and pours some water into each glass until they're each filled just about halfway to the top.
It's surprising. Watching her work, she moves through each task and each motion with such grace and ease. How long has she been doing this? She sets the pitcher of water back on the tray in the middle of the table between us, then takes her seat once more. I mimic Irene as she lifts her glass and takes a sip. It's just like all water, but it's still nice and refreshing since it's pretty hot today. "Thank you for the water, Irene," I say, reminding myself not to bow to her. Even if I can't break the habit, I can at least make sure not to do it while she's in the middle of teaching me how I am supposed to act.
"You're welcome," she responds before taking another sip. We just sit and drink for a bit, until I hear a knock on the door. I turn at the sound. It was pretty quiet, coming from the other end of the house, but Irene clearly heard it too, because she immediately sets her glass down and begins walking quickly toward the front of the house. I hear her open the door and greet John. That took him a while, it's already been more than a bell since we arrived. I guess he must live far away. I'm sure he's a vulgant, so probably the central district, but maybe he lives over near the west side of the city?
I hear Irene lead him into another room where he sits down, then she comes back. "John has returned," she informs me while she sits down again. I already know, so I just give her a small nod. "Now, let us continue."
She gets into the next etiquette lesson, talking about giving and receiving gifts this time. But giving gifts is weird. Men offer a gift with one or both hands, while women offer gifts with both hands. That's it. Nothing about different ranks, or variations, just one or two hands. Why is it that simple when everything else is so complicated? She does say that you only give gifts when invited to formal events, or at important business meetings, usually between merchants. And maybe if you see a friend after a long trip away, you might give them a 'souvenir', something you buy from somewhere far away to bring back with you. Besides that, gifts aren't given that often. So another topic that I may not end up needing to know, unless I suddenly do.
No matter my opinion on how weird gift giving is, she goes right onto the receiving part. And it's back to the overly complicated and in-depth gestures I'm unfortunately already used to hearing about. For men getting a gift from a woman, it seems like the gesture is similar to showing respect, with an arm at the waist and a bow, but the other arm is used to accept the gift, so it's still a little different.
Then the seventh bell rings, right in the middle of Irene speaking. It's followed shortly after by the lunch whistle. It reminds me that we've already been talking for a while. When she sees me perk up at the sound, Irene narrows her eyes slightly. "It couldn't be that you're already hungry again, could it?" Since we were late coming from the clothing store, I didn't really eat breakfast until around the fifth bell. It's only been two bells since then, and it sounds like she's going to be angry if I tell her I am hungry, but... I place a hand to my stomach.
"Actually... not quite yet," I respond. I guess it just hasn't been long enough yet, I'm still not that hungry.
"Good, then we will continue for a little longer before breaking for lunch." I nod, and she immediately continues her lecture. I shake myself a little and keep forcing myself to focus hard.
Unlike men who accept gifts like they show respect, it's closer to a greeting for women when the roles are reversed. You lower yourself by bending your knees like a curtsy, but don't lift your skirt. Probably because you're already using both of your hands to receive the gift...
"When a lady gives a gift to another lady, she holds it out with both hands. The lady receiving it takes it with both of her hands and gives her words of thanks." Really? That one is amazingly simple compared to the others. You basically just take the gift normally... "If the one on the receiving end is of lower status, she must also incline her head to the gift giver," she adds on. Right, there's still the class part to it, I remind myself...
She goes on, covering the other changes based on class, but for the most part, these ones all come down to just bowing your head a little. It is a little interesting how the gesture doesn't change at all for someone of higher rank. Unlike greetings, where they can ignore the usual greeting and do something else, she doesn't mention anything like that here. It's exactly the same if the person receives a gift from someone of equal standing as it is if they're above the one giving the gift.
Once she seems to have finished with the topic, she thinks briefly, before giving a small nod. Then she suddenly goes back to previous topics, starting with greetings, and begins to explain how men should interact with other men. These are the ones she didn't cover until now because I wouldn't actually be involved in them, so why now?
I hesitantly ask why, but she just says, "understanding what you see will allow you to glean more information about the relationship between the people you are watching. That could be crucial for you since you won't know anyone. It will allow you to more easily use cues from others to determine how to properly act."
I have to think about what she said for a bit and work out the unfamiliar word she used, but that makes a lot of sense actually. I just nod and she goes on. She quickly covers all our previous topics, going all the way back through the greetings, showing respect, signing agreements, and finally receiving gifts.
And that's where my previous thought that receiving gifts is the same between equals and someone who's higher class fails. Because apparently while a man salutes his equal by holding his fist to his chest, if he's higher rank, he just taps it to his chest instead. Literally everything else is the same! Why are there so many tiny differences like that?!
By the time Irene has gone over all of that, there are hardly fifty ticks left until the eighth bell. She finishes the lesson at that point, saying we will take a short break for lunch before continuing. My head is spinning a little from the overload of information all day. Will I really remember all of it? I just follow Irene back out of the room quietly. In the next room, I see John sitting in a comfortable looking chair near the corner of the room to my right. We just greet each other with a small wave as I go past.
When we reach the dining room again, the pillows from earlier have disappeared. When she sees this, Irene turns around and goes back the way we just came. From the sound of her footsteps, she goes back to the room John is in to get more pillows. I wasn't looking too closely, I guess the seats in there have pillows? She returns with a stack of them and places them on my chair. Unfortunately, that presents a problem because they're a lot taller when I'm not sitting on them. The top of the pillows is actually at eye level. Maybe I could reach the top if I jumped for it, but it would be really hard... I look over at Irene uncertainly.
She would definitely scold me.
Irene furrows her brows at my look, then explains. "At your age, it is acceptable to ask someone to lift you into your seat. But you should show them respect as you ask."
"Ok," I give a shy nod. Having to ask for help getting into a chair is just... But I bite back my embarrassment. I press my palms together and lower my head. "Irene, would you please help me into my seat?" I ask quietly.
"Certainly," she responds easily, lifting me under my armpits and setting me gently on top of the pillows before pushing my chair in. They squish down some under my weight, giving me just enough lift off of the chair that I can reach the top of the table, like earlier. Then Irene goes into the next room over. I guess that's the kitchen? She returns with another two bowls of food, though hers has hardly any food in it. I guess she isn't hungry yet? I'm still only kind of hungry myself. Even so, I slowly begin to eat as Irene watches me closely. I keep up my good manners as I go, but I'm really a lot more full than usual. By the time I'm almost finished, I don't think I can eat anymore.
"Umm, Irene, what should I do if I'm full?" I ask hesitantly.
"It's rude not to finish your meal," she sighs. Does that mean I have to finish all of it anyway? I feel like I might be sick if I force myself any further though... "However, I think I gave you too much food, considering you only ate breakfast recently. My apologies." As she says it, she places her hands together and lowers her head. I recognize the gesture as the one to show respect, but seeing her lower her head to me immediately sends a shiver up my spine.
"N-n-no, I'm the one who couldn't eat all of my food!" I frantically try to excuse her. "I'm normally such a glutton that there's no way you could have known!"
Unfortunately, that switches her back to lecture mode. "Getting so flustered is not at all ladylike." She frowns sternly at me. "You must control yourself better."
"Y-yes ma'am..." I sigh sadly and hang my head.
"And don't slouch in your seat like that."
"Yes ma'am..."
"Why are you crying?"
"I-I'm sorry..."
----------------------------------------
By the time Irene stops berating me for doing everything wrong and we get back to the sunroom to continue the lesson, it's halfway to the ninth bell. Also, the tray and glasses on the table have disappeared, just like the pillows earlier.
"Next we will cover how to act properly when among company at a formal event." When am I actually going to be at a formal event though...? "First, you must always keep in mind whether you are accompanied by a superior, subordinate, or both, and whether or not you have a man with you. Normally you would also need to behave differently if accompanying your husband, but I suppose I can skip that part for you."
"Thanks..." I mutter gratefully. It's not like I could get married even if I did live that long.
With that, she gets into how you're supposed to show respect to anyone your superior shows respect to, and how any subordinates should do the same. "Actually, I suppose it is important to mention this part," she thinks out loud for a moment. "If you meet a man and his wife at a formal event and you end up greeting them separately for some reason, you should greet the husband before his wife," she explains.
"How am I supposed to know they're married?" I ask.
"By how they comport themselves," she answers as if it's simple.
"What does 'comport' mean?" I ask. Of course it's not simple for someone like me!
"How they behave around one another. If they are married, their behavior will show it."
"..." I kind of try to respond, but I can't really say anything. How am I supposed to know what sort of behavior indicates that they are married?
But Irene just moves right along. "When you are accompanying a man, it is his responsibility to hold doors open for you."
"Hold doors..." I mutter under my breath. Like with Clair, when Eryk held open both of the doors for us?
"The exception is if you are accompanying your superior."
But I stop her there. "What do you mean by superior?" The way she's saying it here sounds different. It doesn't just sound like anyone who's higher class.
"Your superior would be someone related to you who stands above you. In your case, Eryk would be your superior, as your employer."
"I see..." So not just anyone above me, but a specific person like my boss. "But then why did he hold the door for me that other time?" I ask as soon as I realize that doesn't make sense.
"He held the door for you? When?" Irene frowns a little when she hears about it.
"It was when I met my instructor, he held the door for us on the way out."
"Oh, that explains it." Why does she sound relieved? And how does that explain anything? "When a man holds a door for a woman, he must continue holding the door for any women currently going out. So in that case, he held the door for your instructor, then had to continue holding it for you."
"Ah..." I mumble. So that's how it works.
"In any case, there is an order of precedence for who is required to hold the door for a lady. You will normally not be involved unless you are a member of the party hosting a social event, so you may not need to worry about it too much." I nod slowly, not sure if I really understand all of what she's talking about here. But apparently she takes that as wanting to know more, or something. Because she starts rattling off her list.
"In terms of precedence, responsibility first falls to any nearby male servants, followed by female servants. Then any of the host's male subordinates, then female subordinates, and finally the host himself. If none of those are present, it is already quite an improper situation, but if it does occur, then it would next fall to any man accompanying the woman, first her subordinates and then her equals, but not her superior," she notes. I have no idea if I'll remember all of this jumble of who should hold the door first or why any of it even matters, but at that moment, there's a knock at the actual front door.
Irene cuts the conversation short as she goes to get the door again. I hear her tap quickly across the floor, followed by the door opening. All the way at the other end of the house, I can't really hear what they're saying very well. It is definitely a man's voice, and the words are short and clipped.
Then Irene comes back quickly. Something about her rapid footsteps immediately puts me on edge and I turn around to look as she walks through the doorway.
"Aria, there's a guard here, looking for you."