Like last week, Eryk splits off to go back to work, while we head toward church. He does send John with us today. Since I'm supposed to meet Claire about my lesson plans, he said he wanted John to report back on when my lessons will be so he can plan my work schedule around them. After a short walk from the doctor's, we reach the church. Even though we did the same last week, it's still a surprise. Her office in the central district is so much closer than the orphanage, it only takes about a third of our normal travel time from home.
Even after the doctor visit, we have a good amount of time before church starts. With four hundred fifty two ticks between bells today, we still have about a hundred before the fourth bell. John joins us in the grass again today and we sit for a bit. The silence feels a little awkward though.
"Oh, Francis," I speak up when I realize at least part of the issue. "John found out about Reena. Frank couldn't keep his mouth shut," I complain. I'm still annoyed about that. I have to be more careful of Frank, I'm getting the impression he's bad at keeping secrets, which is really bad and going to get me in trouble... I try to get my mind off of that when Francis responds.
"Oh? You know about..." he trails off briefly.
Even John glances around to confirm our empty surroundings before speaking. "Both blessings, yes."
"I see... your thoughts?" Francis lifts an eyebrow, questioning John.
John just shrugs like he doesn't care. "Not much in particular. I know her premonition means that something is coming, but Aria wouldn't tell me what her vision was about, so I can't really guess what might be happening anyway."
"Ah, don't worry about that," Francis waves off his comment. "The content of the vision doesn't give much of a clue."
"Is that so..." John narrows his eyes, brows furrowing slightly, while Francis shrugs.
But then, Francis blinks rapidly as he straightens a bit. "Actually..." He looks over at me. Our eyes meet, and I can read a little of it. 'The war.' He seems to be saying silently.
"Could that be...?" I mutter. My premonition told me how to survive the battle, so does that mean that whatever big event is coming has to do with the war? Like a change in the war, or an end? But haven't we been fighting for a hundred years or something? Actually, what are we even fighting over anyway? "Hey, what are we-" but cut off my words at the last moment. I look over at John, there's no way I can mention the war in front of him without some sort of excuse, especially since it would be dead obvious that my premonition relates to it in some way. "Actually, I'll ask about that later..." I can't meet his gaze, since it's clear I can't talk about it with him here.
"I-in any case..." Francis is obviously trying to change the topic, but he seems to be having trouble coming up with anything else.
Emily jumps in to help. "Anything new happening in town?"
"Ahh, yeah." Francis nods a few times, but he still seems to be thinking things over briefly.
In the meantime, Emily says, "I've heard a bunch of different rumors from the guards at the bar, how much of that do you think is true?"
"Guards at the bar?" I ask.
"Ahh, that's right. Since it's right near the garrison, a lot of guards come in every day," Emily explains.
Francis adds in, "Yeah, even more after you leave for the day." Emily opens her mouth, looking a bit surprised, but nods anyway. "We get off at the twelfth bell, so a lot of us get a drink or two on our way home. Sorry I always skip the food," he chuckles while ruffling her hair, "my wife always has food waiting at home." Hearing that, it feels like a knife suddenly driving through my heart.
Unable to help myself, I ask, "Has Marrianne been alright?" I can see the realization in his eyes as Francis winces at me. What kind of face am I making, I wonder?
"Things were rocky at first, but she's been doing better lately," he assures me.
I beam automatically, feeling tears pushing from behind my eyes. "That's good." The following silence is awkward for a few long moments, before Emily clears her throat and tries to get us back on topic.
"So, what about the rumors? It sounds like a lot of companies have started getting restless for some reason, doesn't it?"
"Well, I guess. We have been seeing a lot more trade coming in and out of the gates lately, but it could just be because we won the last battle and everyone is getting ready for the influx of cheap materials?" Francis shakes his head a bit. "It's really hard to say anything for certain."
"Wait, you lost me, what's happening?" I jump into the conversation. "Eryk mentioned winning the last battle and metal prices dropping because we took the mines at the border," I recount what I remember him talking about before, though I still don't understand what most of it means. "What is a 'mine' exactly? And what does he mean by border?" I know the word means the edge of something, but what is it describing here?
As usual, Emily is the first one to answer my common-sense question. "He was talking about the border between Melphira and Bromunst. You know, where our country ends and theirs begins. For mine..." Here, she seems lost, looking to the two adults for more information.
It's John who explains the next part. "Mines are where they dig up ore. Generally, they go into the side of mountains, or underground, to find areas with high concentrations of metal ore, because digging through kilometers of stone is a lot of work. There are a lot of very good mines around the border between our two countries."
"Lots of them right at the border? Isn't that weird? Why would they happen to be there?" That just seems strange to me.
John laughs and shakes his head. "They don't just happen to be there. The border is probably there because we keep pushing back and forth to claim them for ourselves. It's just that neither side can win a decisive or lasting victory with the war running like it is."
"Yeah, I'm surprised the army hasn't revolted by now," Francis sighs loudly for some reason. I look back and forth between them, completely lost. A glance at Emily shows she's the same for once.
"Wait, huh? What about the army revolting? What is the army?" I ask.
"They're the ones running the war, they're why we've been at a stalemate for a hundred years," John answers.
"How are they running it? What about the military? Why has it led to a stalemate?" I have so many question, I've never heard about any of this before!
John puts his hands up to calm me down, then explains further. "I'm talking about the soldiers fighting on the border. They go back and forth all the time, but they can never move the frontline either way, so it's just an endless stalemate."
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"Soldiers?" Emily asks "Why are there soldiers? I thought the rail units did the fighting?" At her words, John's eyes flick to me, then he glares daggers at Emily. She immediately puts her hands up as she flinches away under his pressure. "She's already heard the story of Rostor," she quickly explains.
"O-oh?" His glare vanishes in an instant, but is soon replaced with a sort of outrage. "Who would tell her that story?! At her age?!" I want to beat my head into the ground. No one told John.
"I'm seven," I grumble dejectedly. As always, his eyes go wide. I turn away, I can't even look at him. "I know, I know. I'm really small for my age." I push back my tears so I won't start crying again. "I hate having to explain this every time..."
"I-I'm sorry about that," John responds awkwardly.
But that just makes me sigh. "No, it's fine, it isn't your fault. I know no one would be able to tell just by looking at me." That doesn't mean it doesn't bother me though... "Let's get back on topic." I want to stop thinking about this.
"Right right," John shakes his head a little. As he clears his throat, I notice more people are starting to flow toward the church. With a moment's thought, I realize we only have fifty ticks before church starts. The other kids should be arriving any time now. Still, I want to hear more.
"So, we were talking about soldiers fighting on the border. Basically, the rail units only fight for so long before they all die off, so it's up to the army to hold the line against Bromunst until the next rail units are ready to fight. Once they are, the soldiers get sent to other parts of the border to keep things under control. That make sense?"
"I... guess?" Emily responds, though she still looks really confused. I... I'm not entirely sure. I think I get it?
"Well, in our case, the soldiers all came back to get reassigned around the end of Shaw. Do you remember seeing them all come through town?" I'm still not great with the months, so it takes a moment to think. Shaw, month of the large moon. The fourth month of the year. That would have been back when I was exploring town, trying to learn about things for the first time. Actually... I do remember seeing a lot of armored men walk through town at some point. That was the army coming back?
"I think I do remember that, actually," I say. I'm surprised myself, that I remember something like that.
"Huh..." Emily is staring off into the distance. Some time passes, then she speaks again. "So the army fights wherever we don't have rail units to fight for us..."
"Wait, what about the other part?" I ask when it comes back to me. "How does that lead to a stalemate?"
John responds, "Right, that part. From what I understand, it has to do with Rostor outlawing the use of rail units when sieging enemy cities. The stories talk about them completely decimating everything in front of them without restraint. Men, women, children, combatants and non-combatants, everyone. Rostor said it was spitting on the pride and honor that people should seek in battle, so he told us not to use send rail units to commit genocide against our enemies, or we would invoke his wrath. That's the basic idea anyway.
"Uhh..." I have to think for a bit, clarify the new words, and then think some more, to try and understand. "So, Rostor basically said that rail units shouldn't attack normal people?" That part makes me nervous. I definitely hurt those kidnappers. Even if I was protecting those children, I still attacked normal humans...
"I guess? I'm just talking about some old stories I heard. Can't be sure exactly how accurate they are, but it does seem like the military is sticking to that. Any time one side's rail units beat the other's they could just send them to destroy the other city, but they don't. They send the army instead." I guess that makes sense. Regular people wouldn't be able to completely blow away a city like rail units could. As I'm considering that, I spot the orphans on the path to the church.
"Looks like we're out of time," I pout. I still had some more questions, like how that leads to a stalemate, but I guess those will have to wait for later.
"I'll hang back," John says, looking kind of guilty as he quickly gets up and starts to move away. I blink, not getting it. It isn't for a few moments until I remember what he told me before. Being seen with him could cause me trouble with the other orphans since he's so much higher class. He really cares about something like that? Just to save me trouble? It feels weird, people being considerate to me. Once more, I have to remind myself that it's because they don't know what I am, and push the thoughts away.
"I'll get going too." With a small wave, Francis quickly walks off as well. That just leaves me and Emily.
"Ready?"
"I guess..." I still don't really know what I should say to Reena though. I guess an apology should come first.
"Come on," Emily grabs my hand and pulls me forward, going to meet the other children as they approach down the long, smoothly paved church path.
It isn't long before Mister Fredricson exits the crowd, grabbing me as usual. He drags me to the church, Emily disappearing into the crowd with one last wave.
I try to keep pace as we enter the church. Even with just a little water mana, the echoes of thousands of people walking through the massive room is deafening. I wince from the overpowering sound, trying to block it out. We approach our spot in the corner, where Claire is already standing, as always. I smile and wave a little. She does too, but her small smile seems a bit stiff for some reason. Is there something wrong? Am I not supposed to greet her like this since I know her now? Am I supposed to curtsy instead? Or maybe she's put off now, because she's going to be teaching something worthless like me? Despite my multiplying worries, Mister Fredricson drags me into place, and we stand in silence. I frantically try to push down my worries. I can deal with all of that after church, when I talk to Claire.
The church service goes the same as always, the only difference being when I spot John move through the crowd, taking a place not to far from us. The head priest talks about how we're going into Sarel, the month of Sky soon. Saras' month, the eighth month, I remind myself. He says that the skies will grow beautiful and clear, as long as we pray properly, and act to support one another. It drags on for a little while as the priest talks about watching for signs from the sky and birds, signaling Saras' pleasure or displeasure with our people.
It's all kind of weird though. How are we supposed to make The God of Sky and Weather happy or angry? What would he actually care about humans doing? Well, if I remember right, Emily told me not to go out when it's raining because that would make him mad...?
The whole concept seems really vague though, even after listening to the head priest drone on about it for two hundred fifty ticks... I try not to tune it out though, in case any of it ends up being useful in the future. Still, it is amazingly boring. Why does it feel like he can talk for so long without saying anything interesting?
In any case, I try to keep thinking about what to say to Reena at the end of the service. I have to apologize, but what else is there? I don't know. Is she still going to be mad? I don't know. What should I do going forward? I don't know.
Is there anything I do know?!
Not really.
I scream internally with frustration. I'm starting to sweat, a ball of raw nerves as the head priest drags on and on. It feels like my mind is going to blank out completely when I finally do talk to her.
Thankfully, the head priest can't go on forever. He finally finishes speaking, hands out something from a small bag to all of the ninety or so lower rank priests, and they spread throughout the room as usual. I have no idea what I'm going to say besides sorry. After stopping briefly for Claire to pray, the priest holds the divine totem to me. I touch it with my hand, reaching out to Reena as always.
She speaks to me.
It's not a feeling that resolves into words and feelings like last time. It isn't a clear, bell-like ring of meaning that I can understand as words like from my premonition. Or a chuckle in the dark like back at the orphanage. It isn't anything like any other time she's spoken to me.
This time, it feels like plain words, spoken without any particular inflection, directly into my mind.
"Speak to me after church."
Then I feel the connection close out from the other side. I open my eyes and remove my hand from the surface of the divine totem.
That just happened.
I stand, vaguely stunned, until church ends. I'm supposed to talk to her after church. How? About what? It feels like all of my nervous energy has vanished, leaving me sort of numb. It isn't until Mister Fredricson drags me from the church and I wave back at Claire that the world suddenly snaps back into focus.
Wait! After church, I'm already supposed to talk to Claire!