"Haah..." John exhales tiredly, leaning against the wall as I take I my seat in Eryk's office. I... actually didn't have to take my shoes off this time... Eryk eyes him up and down.
"You run into trouble?" he asks worriedly.
"Just one very small troublemaker," John chuckles, throwing a look my way.
"Sorry..." I smile apologetically. He did say I could test on him... Unfortunately, that lead to a half bell walk through the northeast district while I tried every different method I could think of to make the connection work better. And not put so much strain on anyone I talk to with it.
I tried changing the shape of the thread. Square, rectangular, star shaped, kind of twisty. Using multiple and braiding them together into an actual rope. Making them really long with big loops of mana before connecting to his barrier. Or the texture, making it bumpy by pulling and pushing on my mana to get it all kind of uneven at the outer edge of the thread. That particular one actually seemed to have some effect, though John couldn't really describe it apart from it not making my voice any less blaring loud in his mind.
It feels like the more I think on this, the more options I come up with. And... that makes me think I've figured out what Reena meant. If she had told me how to make my thoughts more quiet, I would have done that. And... nothing else.
By running through so many experiments one after another, I've been figuring out for myself what does or doesn't work, and what effects they cause. Sure, most of them don't actually do anything, but I never would have done all of these things if she just told me the one thing I needed to do. When she was thinking about 'not stopping anything', I think she meant she didn't want to stop me from trying anything I could think of.
It's starting to come together. Me needing to develop my abilities for myself, her not interfering, not limiting what I can think of...
I toy with these thoughts again while John sighs. "So?" comes from Eryk, clearly expecting some sort of explanation.
I just tell him. "I figured out how to talk into people's minds, but I'm still really bad at it."
My simple explanation takes a few moments to sink in. "That is... very useful." He sits for a bit more. That blank look, I get a feeling he has absolutely no idea exactly what it would be useful for. "Could you give a demonstration?" he asks. John chuckles immediately, drawing Eryk's attention to where he's still leaning against the wall. Eryk immediately looks less sure, but after a few moments, doesn't withdraw the request.
"Ok." I go over, touching his wrist. I reach out, connecting to his barrier-
It's different. I stop, just feeling Eryk's barrier. Sure, Emily and John's didn't feel exactly the same, but they were pretty similar, I think. Eryk's is different. Like, different different.
"Umm?" He tries to get my attention because I've been staring off into space for almost two whole ticks.
"Ahh, sorry. It's just, uhh..." How do I explain things like this to someone else? A person who can't use or even experience mana or what any of this feels like? "Something about you is different from Emily and John. I don't really know what, but you feel different."
"O...kay...?" he tilts his head and answers uncertainly.
"A-anyway, I'll show you now." Pushing down my uncertainty and doubts, I form the connection, just like usual. I lower my mental voice. Not all the way to a whisper. I'll do it at a volume that seemed uncomfortable for John and Emily, to show him the problem I've having. "It works like this," I think to him.
No reaction. "Huh, that is very interesting," he responds.
"Uhh?" I let out the confused sound, my much louder mental confusion making him grimace this time.
"What?" he asks. No, there's more than that! I stop. I forcibly take a deep breath, immediately beating away all of my stray thoughts. One more deep breath as I focus, my mind utterly silent.
'...alright...'
I definitely heard it. It was faint, but I absolutely just picked up a thought from Eryk. "Eryk, think louder," I say. At the same time, I take my thread and expand it. Making it incredibly small helped at least a little make me more quiet, so I shove a ton of my colorless mana into the thread until it's so wide around it's hard to even recognize it as a thread anymore. It stretches over a large portion of Eryk's barrier too.
He shrugs. Again, I feel a tiny waver of thought come with the motion. Then a feeling, quiet but clear. Questioning, 'like this?' I make sure to break the connection before my confusion and shock can fully register. I walk a few steps back to my chair and sit down, when I look back at Eryk, he seems amused. Why can Eryk do it if Emily can't? Because his barrier feels different? It's not like hers, but it's not like mine either. Soft, I guess. Softer, at least, with some give to it, I think? It's a terrible description, but I don't know any better, more precise words to try and express the feeling as I roll it around in my head. I just keep imagining that strange, totally nonphysical, yet almost stretchy sensation, but I can't make sense of things.
I thought Emily couldn't do it because she can't use mana. Can Eryk use mana? No, of course not, he isn't a rail unit. But he has mana... I roll my eyes at myself. Everything has mana. I'm not getting anywhere like this, am I?
"Aria, food," Eryk reminds me. I absently say I'll eat, and do so. I do have to stop myself, reminding myself to sit up and eat properly. I'm all clean for later, and I'm not about to get all dirty again because I can't even eat right. John heads out to the front while I'm eating. After I slowly go through the whole bowl, I check the time. About thirty ticks left until the second bell, Claire will be here soon. I only have a little time to talk to Eryk. I take a few long moments to get my thoughts together so I don't end up tripping over my words or rambling.
Then I explain, "So, my thoughts are too loud and I'm working on fixing that. For some reason, you're different and aren't affected as easily as Emily and John. I'm not sure why. But," I say with some extra emphasis, "I can also hear your thoughts. My last guess was that you could only speak with your mind if you could control mana, but if you can do it, then that can't be it. For now, the most obvious guess is that you feel different. Maybe that's why you aren't affected as badly, and you can speak back. I don't have anything better right now. I'm going to keep thinking about it." I think that wraps up all of my thoughts...
Eryk considers my words and eventually nods. "Alright, sounds good." Even if he can't keep time like I can, it's obvious that the second bell should ring any time now, so our discussion is over. I get up, and Eryk moves the empty bowl and spoon to an out of the way spot on his desk.
I leave my ingots on the table, only grabbing my small blackboard and chalk, then take my place standing near the other end of the table like yesterday. I use the remaining time to clear my mind, saving all those thoughts about the differences between people's barriers and the requirements for mind-speech and how it works, for later. It's time for class.
As expected, Claire arrives right around the second bell. When she enters the office today, she looks me over. "You're looking much better today," she compliments me with a smile. Hearing that from her, even in my patched peasant clothing, makes me smile back. "Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes, much better." Between sleeping, washing, and getting to spend time with Emily, and even messing with John on the way here, I'm feeling a whole lot better today. I'm not going to give at the slightest touch now. Like I've taken multiple steps back from the edge. I'm actually calm.
"That's nice to hear." It seems kind of odd since she already started a conversation, but she actually greets me with a curtsy after saying all of this. Even so, I do my best curtsy in response. I think I'm getting used to these motions, I don't need to focus every last bit of my attention on the twitch of every finger when I do it now. If I keep practicing like this, I might eventually be able to do a curtsy without my heart racing from the effort.
Claire greets Eryk as well, then we move into the back room for my lessons. Just like yesterday, she keeps teaching me to read and write. But before we get to any new letters, she has me write the ones from yesterday.
I'm extra careful about doing it exactly how she taught, and she inspects my handwriting closely. It looks like she wants to say something, but I can't tell whether she thinks I'm doing well or not. Though... I definitely thought that my writing was a little better than this after working on it last night... Whatever Claire's thoughts, she ends up keeping them to herself and moves onto the rest of the lesson.
I'm a bit tired today after going to bed late. I start feeling it more as we keep working. I keep pushing anyway, keeping myself as focused as I can. Still, once we break for lunch, I feel really tired. After Claire heads off, I eat the food John brings. Once more, I can't eat nearly as much as usual. I mean, not eating enough food for four people is probably a good thing, but I wish I knew why...
After eating, I immediately go to sleep on the blankets in the back room again. I'm tired and they're so soft and wonderful and I don't even need to feel guilty about getting them dirty today...
Afternoon classes pass just like the morning ones. We go over more reading and writing, as well as a few new words that I can spell with the new letters I've learned. By the time Claire heads out, I've learned the first nine letters, up to 'i.' At this rate, we should get through the whole alphabet in another four or five days. But won't that be if she covers nothing else? Isn't she supposed to be covering a whole lot of different topics? I guess learning to read is really that important for learning the others better...
Even Eryk says something similar when I tell him what I learned today. "Two days of nothing but reading and writing? Impressive."
"What's impressive about that?" I have so many other things I still need to learn...
Eryk suddenly laughs. "Most kids can't sit still and stay on task with something boring like writing for one bell. You've been at it for two days."
"Oh." I blink. "W-wait, they can't?! And what's boring about writing?" That just makes him laugh more.
Once he finishes, he moves on. "Alright, that's it for class time. Now it's play time. Are you ready?"
My smile is awkward and kind of forced. "Honestly, I don't know." I admit what's been bothering me. "You said I should go play and have fun, but the thought of having to pretend to be higher class is... really stressful..."
"Oh, don't worry about that too much. It's just my niece, you can act just like how you normally act. Well, as long as you don't go getting yourself all dirty, but that shouldn't be too difficult."
"Huh..." Will that really be alright? Why would his niece want to play with a peasant? Despite my worries, John brings in the blue dress with the ruffled skirt I wore last time and I change into it. It's still kind of tight and hard to get into, so John has to pull it down over me. The dress actually covers most of my bandages this time, since there are only a couple on my arms. I touch one and the stinging feeling makes me think it will take a couple more days for the burns to heal.
As I turn around a little, the dress actually feels a bit tighter than last time.
"Ahh, that's right," Eryk realizes aloud when I mention it. "You've been regaining weight, so it probably is a bit tighter. I'll have to get it resized later. Anyway, let's get going." He gives a wave and we all head out. As always, John carries me as we head toward the upper class area of town.
----------------------------------------
We're getting uncomfortably far south when Eryk finally calls out the house. I'm not even sure if we're still in the central district, I think this is the southern district... I look up at the house we are going toward. The outside has a few sections of engraved stonework, with big glass windows not only on the first floor, but the second as well. Green grass spreads around the house, with a few flowers of blue, red, and yellow, all lined up in nice rows along the front. This place absolutely screams money. And I'm supposed to act like a peasant? Already starting to panic, I look at Eryk again.
"Come on, like I said, it'll be fine," he assures me anyway. Will it really, Eryk?!
Trying desperately to calm my nerves, I'm so grateful that I'm more stable today, because I might already be falling apart from this otherwise. John sets me down, then takes a step back. Together, we walk up the nice little stone path cutting between the grass and colorful flowers on either side, right up to the front door. Eryk knocks, and it's not long before the door opens.
The woman I see on the other side is... just a servant. Definitely a servant. It takes a moment to realize that of course a house this big and fancy is going to have servants.
I think I'm too nervous to think straight right now. Glancing at her, she wears clothes similar to Eryk's servants. Black, form fitting, just one extra color on some frills and stitching. In this case, green. The woman herself looks in her thirties, with light brown hair up in a bun.
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"Master Eryk, please come in," she says politely, curtsying even while she holds the door. Master? Because he's related to the one who hired her? I'm not sure how that's supposed to work. Mind still spinning, I keep in step with him as we walk inside.
Once we're through the door, she says, "I will inform Master Kathy that you have arrived." Then I see her gesture. The way she moves her hands to her chest and bows at the waist. She doesn't go down to a knee, but that's definitely a higher class gesture! I feel my shoulders pull up, tight with nerves. The servant quickly walks away to get Kathy, disappearing from the room. Part of my brain is saying to look around, but the rest of me stiffly looks up at Eryk.
"That gesture..." I mumble.
He plants a hand on my head, saying, "Don't worry, you'll do fine." How? How am I going to do fine? You never taught me any of the manners I need to know for a situation like this! With my head swimming, I end up staring directly ahead, only vaguely noting that the wall I'm staring holes into is painted green.
Three distinct sets of footsteps return after a short, suffocating wait. One much lighter than the others. They enter from the left, and the first thing that strikes me is how nice the woman looks. She's really pretty, with long dark hair and a flowing purple dress. Not as pretty as Selena but... my thoughts trail off as I feel something familiar here.
But my moment for looking them over passes as they walk up to us. Then I see a small girl, about my size, look out from behind the woman's dress, her own hair very dark and shiny, but kind of curly too. She seems nervous though. After a glance at her, I look back to Eryk. A moment has already passed since they stopped, but I don't know what to do. Eryk nods, saying 'go ahead.' I guess I'm supposed to introduce myself.
I take a small step forward. This pretty, high class woman is staring down at me expectantly. She must be the Kathy the servant referred to, I finally realize. I don't understand, why is Eryk so cool and casual about a situation like this, where I haven't properly learned the manners I need? Luckily, I have the image of Claire fixed in my head from that meeting in the church.
I follow the same greeting she used. But... Kathy isn't a noble, so I don't bow down as deeply, since at least that part just seems to be based on how much higher class they are. Feet crossed, one back, I curtsy as nicely as I possibly can. I say my greeting. "Good day, my name is Aria."
Then... Claire held it for some reason, do I do that here? Or was that just because the priest was a noble? Am I supposed to hold it longer depending on their class, the same as how deep I bow? I have so many questions and no answers!
Glancing at Eryk... he's laughing?! I freeze stiff in this awkward position, balancing despite having my legs crossed. Why is the gesture even this complicated in the first place? He has his hand over his mouth, but there's obvious laughter in his eyes and his shoulders are twitching. I look from Eryk to Kathy. She has a much more complicated expression. Both surprised and annoyed?
"D-did I do it wrong...?" I ask the silent room without moving a muscle. I didn't offend Kathy, did I? Is she going to kick me out? I can't get thrown in the street again, not now! Not in this dress!
Eryk finally breaks the silence. "Aria, where did you even learn that?"
"F-from Claire, in the church," I mutter back.
"Ahh, that time, now I get it," he chuckles. Then he steps over, behind me. "This is the one you're looking for." He grabs me around the sides to hold me up upright, and uses a foot to push my back foot forward until my feet are together. Then he lets go and I wobble a bit because this position is even harder to balance in.
Once that's done, he walks toward Kathy, speaking on the way. "That one was for greeting a man, isn't that right, Kathy?" He finishes speaking while planting a hand heavily on her shoulder, with a big grin on his face. It earns him a withering glare that doesn't seem to affect him at all, even though I cringe just watching. But something about this is familiar...
So I guess the placement of the feet is important for that one. Together for women, one foot back for men. I tuck that away for later. Because with how things always go for me, I'm going to need it.
"In any case, you could have just greeted her normally, you know," Eryk says while Kathy brushes his hand away.
Sort of taking the sudden conversation as permission, I straighten up again. "What do you mean?"
"The class of gesture you use tells everyone what class you are. So acting high class like that will make everyone else think you're high class," he explains.
"..." I open my mouth, but can't form a coherent response. Why didn't Irene mention that? Because she was only teaching me vulgant etiquette? So mimicking what I saw was not the right way to do things!
"Eryk, who is this girl?" Kathy asks, exasperated. "She looks like she has noble training, but doesn't even know basic etiquette? Why did you bring her to play with Thelia anyway?" Eryk's grin grows, a strange glint in his eyes. I gulp involuntarily. What is he about to say...?
"Aria is a third party contractor at my company." Kathy's mouth falls open. After it sets in for a moment, there's just enough time for her face to start turning flushed and angry, before Eryk follows up with even more ridiculous statements. "She's also an orphan. I tried adopting her."
Kathy's anger turns to shock, but now I want to shout at him, tears beginning to sting in my eyes. Just mentioning that all of a sudden! But for some reason, despite the terrible memory he just brought up, he keeps grinning. "Unfortunately, she's too rich for my blood, orphanage caretaker wanted three gold for her."
That finally makes Kathy, who looks to have bounced through a half dozen emotion in the last few moments, scoff. "Three gold? What, is she promised to a noble?"
...
As soon as she says those words, it clicks. I meet Eryk's gaze, his ever-present grin fading.
"Fuck," he says.
"Language!" Kathy snaps, slapping Eryk's arm hard enough that he flinches, before spinning around to grab the girl behind her. "I don't want to hear foul words like that from you, do you understand?" But I'm hardly paying attention to her conversation with the little girl who keeps nodding.
Promised to a noble... That would explain everything! I can feel all the connections forming from Mister Fredricson's strange actions to why he might have been doing what he was doing. A lot of it is still unclear, but I'm sure Eryk would be able to fill in the rest. How didn't I think of this earlier? No, how didn't Eryk think of this? He's so much smarter than me, how could he miss it too?
Eryk comes over while I'm still confused, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry about it, I'll look into it. Just play with Thelia and have fun. Just be a kid for a bit, alright?"
I hesitate. He says that, but how am I supposed to just ignore it? "I... I'll try..." is the best answer I can give.
"Good enough." He turns back to Kathy, who's looking up from where she's kneeling with the girl who I have to assume is Thelia. "So as you can see, Aria is a very special child. She has way too many issues and responsibilities for someone her age. I brought her here so they could just play together, have fun, and relax."
"Hmm..." Kathy sounds outright suspicious. "She's still a peasant though, isn't she? Is she well behaved?"
"Very," he chuckles. "Too well behaved, in my opinion," he adds with a exaggerated shrug.
Kathy sighs, standing and straightening up with a small pat of her dress. "Fine, but I'll be keeping an eye on her, just in case."
"I wouldn't expect anything else," he laughs, ruffling and messing up her hair until she swats his hand away.
"Ah, that's it," I realize aloud. "From the glassblower's." That's what was familiar, Kathy is the only person I've seen Eryk joke around with so much. He was the same when we visited the glassblower's where she was working in the front of the shop. So she's his sister, that's why he was like that back then...
While I was fumbling through remembering that, Kathy shook out her hair and got it straightened up again. I look over to Eryk, patting Thelia on the head and speaking quietly. I manage to catch, "Want to meet her?" Then he slowly draws her forward, out from behind Kathy, and gives her a pat on the back so she walks over to me. With a better look at her, I realize that she's cute, and has a really pretty dress. It's blue like mine, which I guess makes sense, because this was her dress... Hers is even more fancy though, with a darker blue pattern sewn over the first to give the whole thing two different colors, to form big swooping lines around her skirt, which falls a little below her knees. There are ruffles and frills sewn in a few places too. What nice clothing...
She seems kind of reserved, or timid maybe, as she approaches, her hands bunched up in the sides of her skirt as she takes small steps across the solid wooden floor. The look on her face finally makes me realize how young she is. Even so, we're about the same height, just about eye level with each other. She might be... just a tiny bit taller. Still, it's a surprise to speak to someone I don't need to look up at. Unlike her hesitant appearance, she clearly says, "Hi, I'm Thelia." She does have a small, kind of awkward smile though.
Looking at her like this, I know this feeling. She's a little kid. Not quite like me when I'm feeling down and Emily is comforting me. An actual young child. I smile warmly back as I think about that. "Hi, I'm Aria. Eryk said that this was your dress, thank you." I bow a little too as I thank her.
She doesn't even mention the dress. She just asks, "Do you want to play?"
I smile again. "Sure."
Kathy has one of the servants, named Wendy, lead us off into another room. I finally have a chance to look around as we go. All of the walls are painted, the floors polished nearly to a shine, small shelves with decorative things of different shapes on them. Some metallic and shiny, some large, with lots of detailed pieces sticking off of them. Colorful cloth hangs near all the large glass windows, tied off to the side with decorative ties, so the windows let in a ton of light to make the house feel even bigger and brighter than it already is.
This... I thought Eryk's house was impressive. How much money does Kathy have to afford a place like this? Working at a glassblower's shop? Does it really pay that much more than lower class jobs?
We are brought through a couple well decorated rooms until we arrive in one that is different. There are still a lot of big glass windows, but the room is full of flowers ringing the outer edge of the floor, in what looks like a very long, connected box. The walls are painted white, but it almost seems that the color of the bright, dazzling flowers spreads to the walls themselves.
The rest of the floor is bare wood so well made and polished that I don't feel any lip between the boards when I slide my foot across them. Just a room with flowers and windows, but no furniture?
There are various objects lying scattered across the wide open floor, though I'm not sure what any of them are. Some are wood and painted. Some square blocks, and a some that kind of look shaped like people. There are a lot of little flat pieces of wood as well, all stacked up in a few piles.
Then there's a round, ball shaped brown thing, but from the look of it, I'm not even sure what it's made of. A few tiny cups and plates too, all sitting off near one side of the room. But beside the random assortment of objects and beautiful flowers, there's nothing else here.
I follow Thelia over to a spot where she sits on the floor near the small wooden blocks. They're more or less cubes, and some of have one or more faces painted with bright colors. I sit on the floor near her, but... what now?
"So, umm..." I mutter, "what do we do?"
She tilts her head like the question doesn't make any sense. "We play."
"How... do we play?" My face is getting hot. I'm asking a small child how to play with blocks...
"Mmm..." She puts a finger to her cheek, making a show of thinking about it. "Like this?" Then she grabs a couple blocks and starts stacking them on top of each other.
"Huh..." She took a green block and a yellow block, so I take a red block and a blue one. Once we each have two blocks stacked up in front of us, Thelia grins.
"Like that!" I smile back. Then she starts taking more blocks and stacking them all up in different ways. In some places, she stacks two or three blocks up, or side to side. Some are three blocks in triangles. I just... follow along.
I stack up some blocks randomly. A few here, a few there. The colors are random, there are no patterns. I just play with them, and smile. It's simple and easy, and fun. I hear Kathy walk in behind us, and I can feel her watching, but I just ignore her and play.
Thelia talks about how she was running around outside the one day, playing with her friends at their houses one time, a fight she got into with a girl named Miranda, and how there's a boy she doesn't like because he's mean, but her parents always bring her over to his house to play anyway.
I just listen to her as she talks and talks, babbling and tripping over her words sometimes. I guess she eventually gets bored of the blocks, because she suddenly stands up and walks away. I hesitate for a moment, before following along.
We sit down with one of the other toys. I'm guessing all of the things in here are toys? She picks up a few of the wooden toys that are shaped like people. "These are my dolls," she says as she holds them up for me to look at.
There's some paint on them, one is mostly green while the other is blue. The paint kind of looks clothing shaped. It doesn't go up to the face part of the dolls at least. I take one of the others from the floor, colored pink. Without any sort of prompt, Thelia starts telling a story as she waves the dolls around.
Her story is nothing like I've ever heard before. It's something about a prince and a princess and a dragon and how the prince is amazing and goes around helping the princess, but the dragon is all evil and bad. She moves the dolls around, banging them into each other once in a while when they're supposed to be fighting and making lots of funny noises. I quickly realize that the princess is the one I'm holding and attempt to move mine around to follow her story, which she's definitely making up as she goes.
I listen and play along and it's kind of surprising how she can just talk and talk without thinking any of it through. It gets to the point that the story doesn't make any sense, like when the prince dies but a hero comes in, but then the prince comes back to life again, and the dragon steals the princess and flies away, so the prince and hero work together to go flying after the dragon...
Somehow, even when it doesn't make a bit of sense and there are a bunch of parts that just break off and don't connect to each other as she forgets one part and starts up somewhere else in the story, it's no less fun to play along and listen. Eryk was right, I don't need to do anything special. I can just... play.
The whole story is really amazing, even if I don't understand a lot of it. I'm assuming it's supposed to be about magical creatures, or maybe birds, since they're the only things I've ever heard of that can fly. In the end, she stops somewhere in the middle of the part where the princess reveals that she was actually the dragon all along and was kidnapping herself for... some reason?
At that point, she starts yawning. A lot of her excited energy disappears. It's weird seeing her go from happy and waving her dolls around, to her eyelids starting to droop like she's about to fall over.
I guess she just kept going until she was completely spent. She is just a little kid. Not that I'm that much older, but at least I don't need naps in the middle of the day... most of the time.
I took a nap after lunch today though...
From the side, Kathy calls one of the servants to take Thelia for a nap. A young woman comes over, scooping her up from the ground. As the servant is carrying Thelia away, I'm unsure what to do next, until Kathy calls me over.