The sword cut right through its intended goal.

It hadn't taken much effort, to be honest. After all, Theodore hadn't fought back and had just pretended for a while, but now it was time. He knew that much as soon as the pain set in. His whole abdomen felt like it was on fire, and there was a huge gash on his shoulder as well. There was no way that he would survive this. If he didn't die because his organs were hurt, he would bleed out.

Perfect. It was finally time.

A wide smile formed on his lips. It had to have been the first time that he smiled earnestly ever since the darkest day of his life. Because he would finally be with her again. Theodore could see her from the corner of his eyes as he fell to the floor.

She was crying for him once again even though he should be the person that she hated most.

He crashed onto the ground without making any attempts to cushion his fall as the pain from his stomach began spreading through his whole body. It should have been unbearable, but he didn't feel as much as he normally would. Maybe because he was flooded with ecstasy. It was finally over. He wouldn't need to live on while his soul was decaying anymore.

Finally.

He used his remaining strength to lift his head and directed his gaze at the gravestone in front of him. He raised his hand to stroke over the engraved letters once. It was a fitting place for him to die here. Theodore slowly turned his head and showed her a bright smile.

It wasn't surprising that she was by his side in an instant. “Theo...” Her voice was even more hoarse than normal as tears ran over her transparent cheeks. “You...can't...”

He couldn't stop himself from reaching to her to wipe her tears away even though he knew that he couldn't touch her. He had tried that for two years now, and if pure will had enough, he would have succeeded already. But it wasn't enough.

As always, he couldn't feel anything when his fingers were at the spot where her face should be. Still, he imitated the motion of stroking over her cheek and smiled at her. “It's fine. We both knew that this would come sooner or later. I shouldn't have waited so long. I want to see you, Blanche. I love you so much.” His voice cracked in the middle, but he managed to say everything that he wanted to say even if he was quiet.

Still, it was loud enough for Cedar to hear him. The prince stepped closer and looked down at his brother with a soulless stare. “I don't know what's more disgusting about this. The fact that you dare to say that you love her after being the person that hurt her most. Or the fact that you disregarded her devotion, which is so great that she still follows you. She is right next to you, isn't she?”

Theodore didn't bother turning to him. His eyes stayed on the only important thing in his life. “Yes, my angel is here.” He tried to stroke over her head, only to phase through her as always. That very fact had made him despair in the past but not anymore. He wouldn't be forced to remain here in this world that she had left any longer. But seeing her cry for him still hurt. More than this wound ever could. He did his best to keep himself from tearing up out of joy about this being over soon and whispered to her. “Don't cry, my angel. It's better this way. I don't want to...live anymore. A life without you is useless. So, there is no need for you to be sad. I'm happy right now.”

Blanche vigorously shook her head, which only made more transparent blood drip from the wound on her neck. “Theo!” She didn't say more than that and desperately tried to grab his hand, only to fail. She became more hectic after that and attempted to press down on his wound to keep it from bleeding. Of course, she couldn't do anything and just sobbed more because of that.

Theodore ignored the burning in his stomach to move and rolled slightly to the side. Like this, he could rest his head on the ground and still look at her. He held his hand toward her and imitated patting her hair. “Don't...hurt yourself more. I want to die. I want to leave this grim world. More than anything else, I would like to be with you. But I won't...” He needed to pause and breathe in sharply. It was slowly getting colder. That realization only made him speak up again. “I won't be blessed with...something as beautiful as being with you. I don't deserve to even...see your face. I love you... So, please, my angel-” He couldn't finish this time.

Cedar already glared at him and raised his voice slightly to curse his brother. “You don't deserve to call her that you, you monster. You are nothing but a treacherous piece of garbage that doesn't care for anything but yourself. You had everything. Everything. Blanche loved you more than anything else. She would have never betrayed you or even thought about anything like that. She would have done anything for you, and you pay it back with this? You threw her away and still act like you can tell her that you love her. Are you stupid? You betrayed her in the vilest way with that-” He cut himself off, his expression only seeming to turn more sour and hateful. “Blanche should never have loved you. Anyone else would have been better.” He looked like he was going to lift his sword to stab his brother again but stopped at the last moment. And just like that, all emotions seemed to leave him. As always when he got too upset, the damned smile he was clinging to appeared on Cedar's face as he stared at the other man and continued in a whisper. “And no matter what you did, she still loves you. Even now, she probably hates me for killing the man she loves. It's pathetic, isn't it?” He ran his hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. Maybe he had expected a response, but he didn't get one.

Theodore could basically feel how his life was flowing out of him with every drop of blood. He had no time left to deal with anything but Blanche. He only had a limited amount of words left, so he would need to choose what he wanted to tell her. There was so much, but the most important part was obvious. “I love you, Blanche.” His voice was barely audible now, so he forced himself to speak louder. “I love you so much. I'm sorry. I can't ever...apologize enough for what happened. But... I love you. More than anything else. I've never loved anyone but you. I'm so sorry...”

He needed to pause to catch his breath again.

Then he immediately resumed. “I want to hold you and...tell you how much I love you...but I...don't have the right. I should have trusted you. I should have believed you and never...never...looked at anyone but...you.” Talking became harder with every word, but he had no intention of stopping.

Blanche was kneeling right next to him and tried to speak as well, but her sore throat only allowed so much. “Theo! Love you, love you!”

He took a moment longer to respond than he would have liked to. “I know... You always loved me and I...was stupid. I love you too. I love you more than...everything else combined. See? I can't live...without you.” He had told himself that he would stay strong until the end and only smile at her, but that had been a delusion. He was already crying, and he couldn't hold back any of the tears that ran down his face.

How else could it be when he was only thinking about how he had betrayed the woman he loved so much? It hurt. Even though that hadn't caused a physical wound, it hurt much more than anything he had ever felt. No injury he had received during the war could compare to this. But he wouldn't need to live with this much longer.

He only had a few minutes left, and he would use every second to tell her what she needed to hear. “Blanche... I love you... If I could...try again, I would...use my brain for once.” He breathed in and out a few times and forced himself to speak steadily again. “I would never betray you or mistrust you. I wouldn't lose sight of what is important. I would-” He stopped himself.

Voicing empty promises didn't do anything. He hadn't treasured her the first time. What made him think that he deserved a second chance?

He couldn't hold back the sob that escaped his throat. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” As if that made it any better. He had been the one distancing himself from her because some personified evil had told him that his angel was actually just scared of refusing him, that he was pressuring Blanche with his rank. And after that, he hadn't understood anything either. He hadn't held onto her when his lover had desperately tried to pull him close, nor had he listened to her cries about her being innocent. He had sent her to the executioner.

If something like a world of pure suffering for the deceased criminals exited, Theodore surely deserved to be there. The only reason he hoped that something like that didn't exist was that he couldn't deal with this pain in his chest anymore. This ache that seemed to accompany him no matter what he did, the guilt that had burned itself into his mind as a constant reminder of his betrayal. He knew that he deserved it, but he couldn't endure this anymore. Hopefully, he wouldn't have to hold on for much longer.

Theodore couldn't feel his fingertips anymore and was pretty sure that his hands were becoming numb as well. He was slowly but surely bleeding out. It was finally time for his death. And despite everything that had happened, Blanche was next to him and cried out his name over and over again. He forced himself to smile even though the memories of his mistakes gave him absolutely no reason to do so. “Blanche...don't speak... It hurts you, doesn't it? You...suffered enough...so you shouldn't hurt more.” He tried to reach for her face again. His arm barely responded, but he somehow managed to bring his hand to her cheek. “Blanche...my angel. I love you.” He couldn't stop repeating that. She needed to know that at least. That he had always loved her and never stopped for a single second. “I've...always...loved only you. I never...stopped...” It took a lot of effort to speak by now. His time would surely come soon.

Cedar was just watching the scene with a cold gaze as he waited for his brother to breathe his last breath. He had put away his sword and just stared at the person that he despised most in this whole world. But for some reason, he didn't interrupt the other man again as if he wanted to let Blanche hear what she had longed for more than anything during the last weeks of her life.

Theodore had begun to repeat two things as a mantra. He told Blanche how much he loved her and apologized over and over again. By the time his throat gave in, he paused for a little moment and continued as soon as he could speak again. “I adore you... From when we...fell in love until now...I could never stop needing you. I love you. I'm so sorry...I-”

A voice from afar cut him off. “Theodore!” It was a voice that he didn't want to hear. One that he couldn't stand to hear.

He had felt cold before, but within an instant, burning rage filled him. Maybe this would be enough to keep him alive for a few more seconds. If so, he would accept it to speak to Blanche. Maybe it would also end his misery faster. No one could know.

Footsteps rushed closer as a panting woman fell onto her knees next to him. “Theodore! By the gods...there's so much...” There was no mistake that this was the person that Theodore resented most. Even his mother didn't come anywhere close to this woman.

The former empress of Artias and his ex-wife. Seraphina Duremont. The murderer of his beloved. That she was still in the palace was a miracle, especially since he had threatened to kill her multiple times. Maybe he should have just done that. Then he wouldn't be forced to hear her revolting voice. But he didn't have the energy to deal with her now when his life was slipping through his fingers. That woman wouldn't take even a single second from his time with Blanche.

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Theodore refused to waste his life looking at her and kept staring at Blanche. “I love you...so much, my angel. I...would gladly do anything...to try again. To hold you in my arms and...” He couldn't finish once again.

Seraphina still dared to call out to him. “Theodore, please hold still!” She raised her voice and hurriedly looked around. “Someone, help! The emperor is-” She interrupted herself as she saw how much blood was pooling on the floor. She pressed her hand onto her mouth and stared at the dying man with wide eyes. “No...” She leaned forward and pressed her hands onto his chest. “Please hold on! We'll find a way to stop the bleeding, I-”

That was enough for Theodore. The fact that that woman was here was disgusting enough, but that she had the nerve to touch him while his angel was watching was the last straw. He didn't think twice before lifting his hand and shoving her away. Seemingly, pure wrath gave him enough strength to get her far away from him.

Seraphina fell backward with a yelp. She didn't sit up immediately but just raised her voice again. “Theodore, I-”

He had opened his mouth to tell her to shut up at that very moment, but someone else did it for him.

Cedar's voice was more threatening than it had ever been before, even when he didn't yell. “Shut up, Murderer. He is talking to Blanche.” That order alone ensured silence.

Seraphina paled at that. Her eyes searched the area in front of her. Of course, she couldn't see as much as Theodore. But seemingly, even that murderer could see the silhouette of a kneeling figure that cried for the emperor. Or maybe just the thought scared her. She scrambled backward and held her hand in front of her mouth. She let out a whimper before only a few words left her mouth. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...”

It was a wonder that Cedar didn't behead her for that immediately. He probably had much worse in store for that person, so he held back. Even if killing her now had to have been tempting.

Theodore was glad that Cedar didn't kill her though. He couldn't risk that woman being wherever he would go after death. He hoped that he could just cease to exist, but he had no guarantee for that. If, by chance, there was something else waiting for him, he had only one wish. He had no right to voice it, but he had no reason to hold back when he was dying either. “I...want to...be with you, Blanche... My angel...” He felt how his voice got quieter despite his attempts at keeping himself at a normal volume. “I love you... I'm sorry.” The thoughts were slowly starting to get blurrier in his mind too. Only the image of his angel smiling remained in his head as he reached for her crying ghost. “If...I had a second...chance, I would...show you...that I love you...” Breathing out felt like he was giving up a bit of his soul each time. He didn't have much life left inside his veins. “I don't...deserve...but I would...” He coughed, and it tasted metallic, but he didn't let that stop him either. “I...would prove that...I never loved anyone...but you... I would protect...and repent... Live for you.” He couldn't even speak without slurring the words anymore.

But no matter how much he said, Blanche didn't cry any less. She tried to hold him again and again and got more desperate each time that she failed to touch him. She had called his name so often by now that her throat had to feel like she was drinking acid. It was obvious by the way that she was holding her neck. Still, she didn't give up speaking to him in a barely audible and raspy voice. “Theo... Don't...die... Happy...” She wanted him to be happy. She had told him that so often and the answer remained the same.

“Not without you... Without you...I could never...be happy.” Theodore gave her a weak smile. He could only see her silhouette by now. Her face was so blurry that he couldn't make out her expression, but he could hear how she was still crying. He didn't want to hear that. Even now, he only wanted her to smile at him. He wanted her to be happy, more than anything else.

But in the end, he had been the one plunging her into the depths of despair. He didn't deserve anything but suffering.

But she didn't.

If Theodore could ask for one wish despite his sins, he would want Blanche to have another chance to be happy. This time, he would never allow anyone to manipulate him nor would he take his eyes off the light of his life. If he could grant her another life, a better one without all the heartbreak that he caused, he would pray to every single god in existence.

And he did pray. That was all he could think about while he repeated that he loved her like a mantra. It felt almost natural when the ending approached.

Blanche was crying and calling out his name, but his eyes wanted to close, and his breathing became more shallow.

Theodore knew exactly when it was time to voice his last words. “I...want to be...with you, my angel... I love you...Blanche.” He smiled at her one last time and that used up all of his strength. His eyes closed, and he could hear the last beats of his heart louder than they shoulder normally be. He counted them.

One.

He couldn't see anything or speak anymore. The image of Blanche laughing at him as she showed him one of her new dresses appeared in front of his inner eye. How beautiful she was. He should have told her more often. He should have told her much he loved her and how she was the only one for him instead of spouting lies. Hurting her had never made him feel better even while he had believed that she had betrayed him. Why had he done that? He should have been honest and never looked away from her for one second.

Two.

His whole body felt cold as if he was engulfed in an icy blanket. He couldn't feel anything anymore. He missed Blanche's warmth. He should have held her more often. He shouldn't have put his stupid work above her and should always have seen her every day. Every morning, noon and evening. He should have gently woken her up as the sun rose and kissed her goodnight while holding her the whole night. That would have been more important than anything else.

Three.

His ears were ringing. He couldn't hear anything anymore. He wanted to hear her voice. It didn't matter what she told him as long as she could speak without being in pain. He had loved hearing her gush about the things that she adored, and his heart had skipped a beat whenever she had said that she loved him. He should have listened to her when she voiced her problems, even if they seemed unimportant to him. When she whined about something, he should have paid attention so that he could console her. And more importantly, when someone was accusing her. She had been innocent from the very beginning. Why hadn't he believed her? He had promised to always be on her side, and yet, he had changed his mind in the blink of an eye.

Four.

His thoughts were fading away. Still, regret and guilt lingered as if they had burned themselves into his very soul. But he wasn't the one that had suffered the most. Blanche had cried so much that her tears had to have left trails on her face as her heart had been eaten up with grief. She had reached out for him, only for him to leave her behind in a rotting cell. He hadn't even interfered when she told everyone that she wanted to die. He should have been the one protecting her from everything no matter what. Even if she had committed all of those crimes, he should have helped her hide it.

But she hadn't done a single thing. And he had condemned her without listening to her words once.

Even so, she had still loved him until the end of her life and even after that. She had accompanied him until his last breath despite him abandoning her so cruelly. Dying here outside without anyone to cry for him would be appropriate. He didn't deserve it any better. But even now, she was crying for him. His lover, his angel, his one and only. Theodore couldn't help but feel bitter about that. She should hate him. That she didn't only made him even more desperate.

He wanted another chance. He knew what to do now. He could create a world in which they both would live together happily. He would never let anyone come between them. He would love her and shower her with affection and gifts. He would offer everything to her.

Five.

The fifth heartbeat didn't come anymore.

He breathed his last breath with only one thought in mind. Blanche.

This should have been the end. There should be nothing. Death should be the only thing awaiting him. Death should be dark and cold.

While it was dark here, there was still some light sneaking in from somewhere.

And there was warmth.

----------------------------------------

At the moment that Theodore regained consciousness, he only lay there and asked himself whether this was death. Surely, it wasn't. His stomach didn't hurt anymore even though he had been slit open. That indicated that something was wrong, but he wasn't dead. He could feel his entire body again.

He didn't dare to move anything but his little finger. His body obeyed without any problems. That didn't prove anything yet, but the fact that he was lying on a bed did. In death, there certainly weren't any beds.

A wave of bitter resignation crashed over Theodore. Why? He had asked to die for so long. Now that he had finally reached his goal, someone had pulled him away at the last moment? How infuriating. He clenched his jaw, and the fact that he could feel his teeth pressing against each other only upset him more. He was definitely alive.

He wasn't happy about that, and he would make sure that the person that helped him would understand that very soon. Who else could have called a doctor but that damned witch? Maybe she hadn't realized that he hated her yet, or she wouldn't have saved him.

This whole thing didn't even make sense. Did they really think that he would live on now after he had been so close? There was no way. He would end this pathetic misery tonight. All of those thoughts shot through his head in an instant. Theodore was overwhelmed by this depressing development, so it took a moment before he finally noticed.

There was a hand on his cheek. Someone was waiting for him to wake up. Surely, that was the very person that saved him, the most disgusting person in the entire world. As soon as he found the motivation to open his eyes, he would be a bit clearer about what he thought about her. Maybe Seraphina would understand then.

Suddenly, that person withdrew their hand and jumped back. A loud crash echoed through the room as the person moved. For a moment, it was silent until they came closer to the bed. Fabric shuffled next to him, and a pair of warm hands grabbed his. “Theo?”

He froze upon hearing Blanche's voice. His stomach began churning a second later. Theodore should have known. Of course, she was still here. She would never leave his side. His survival hadn't only forced him to remain in this godforsaken world longer but also her. And now he would have to explain that he would end his life anyway. Seeing her crying face would crush him. But he couldn't go on like this anymore.

Blanche had been silent for a moment and spoke up again. “Theo, can you hear me? If you can move, please show me that you are fine.” Her voice had sounded so clear. He hadn't heard her like this for a long time.

Theodore could feel his heartbeat quickening as a small bit of hope rose in him. What if Blanche had magically come back to life?

That wouldn't happen.

As soon as that hope had come, it was already crushed again. He was just imagining things. She was probably using her last strength in an attempt to cheer him up and was in so much pain because of that. He should tell her to stop speaking, or she would end up crying the whole night out of pain again.

Theodore opened his eyes and stared straight ahead. He was in the doctor's office. As expected, he had been brought here by someone to be treated. How wonderful. Now he could find another way to finally end this.

Next to him, a low gasp sounded, and the person tightened their hold on his hand. “Theo... You woke up. I'm so glad. I was so scared, I thought I was going to die out of fear.” This was definitely Blanche's voice. She sounded like she had been crying for a long time. But she wasn't as hoarse as usual. She spoke for much longer than she had done ever since she had been in this ghostly state too. And the person holding his hand...was warm and affectionate.

He had only ever felt this comfortable when one person was with him. There was no way.

Theodore froze. He barely dared to turn his head as his heart hammered in his chest. He didn't dare to hope. But he still forced himself to look to the side.

There, next to the bed, Blanche was kneeling. Her face was covered in tears, and she held onto his hand as if he was her last remaining anchor. He could hear and see her breathing. She wasn't transparent. Her neck was unharmed, and she was the one holding his hands. He could feel her warmth and touch her. She wasn't a ghost.

There was no way.

If this was a dream, it was way too cruel. He would die if he woke up from this. Was this his punishment after death? But how could a punishment be so sweet? His lover was right in front of him, and he could touch her. He wanted to say so much, but his head was spinning. His mouth fell open without him being able to voice a single word. This shouldn't be possible.

Blanche met his gaze with tears in her eyes and squeezed his hand tighter. “Don't scare me like this. Please say something, Theo. Should I call the doctor?”

He wanted to reply, but it felt like his whole body was frozen. Everything around him seemed to fade away as he could stare at his lover. She didn't act like he should be surprised about her being her. Instead, she only seemed worried about him. Theodore didn't dare to avert his eyes for one second. Was Blanche truly here with him? Was he in the afterlife and had been granted his last wish? That made no sense.

He shouldn't have been rewarded for all the pain he had caused during his life. But in the end, it didn't matter how he had come here. It was only important that his angel was sitting in front of him.

When she opened her mouth again, he finally managed to bring out a single word. “Blanche?”