Theodore seemed to be as unwilling to end the kiss as Blanche since it went on for an eternity. Eventually, they still separated their lips, but both refused to let go of the other.
Blanche inhaled deeply to make up for the lack of oxygen during the last seconds, and only now her brain began to work again. Hadn't she disregarded her own convictions once more? She had decided on limiting her displays of affection to when they were alone and already made an exception to exclude the servants and knights from that rule. But moments ago, she hadn't even checked whether someone else was in their close proximity.
The chance of an unannounced visit of members of nobility was rare, but there were cases in which ministers had simply appeared at the royal property. Most of them were acquaintances of the Duke of Duremont, Seraphina's father. They would certainly tell him about what his daughter's husband was doing outside his private chambers. If Henry Duremont didn't completely differ from the concubine's experiences with him, he would defend the empress' honor until the bitter end, so he wouldn't be pleased. This kind of gossip wouldn't only lower Blanche's survival but also put the loyalty of the emperor's most important supporter at risk.
Blanche tried to hide her movements from Theodore as her eyes darted across the garden in search of possible spectators. She didn't spot any usual people, but her gaze stopped at Stella and Owen.
The knight was politely facing the other way, while the maid stared at her feet with an undeniable blush spreading across her face.
This sight reminded Blanche that she had forgotten that they were followed by their attendants altogether. Her servant's constant presence had become so natural that she hadn't remembered that they were being watched for even a single second. She felt the blood rush to her cheeks and whipped her head back to her lover, who observed her with a smirk.
“They should be used to that already.” Theodore's statement didn't distract her from her embarrassment but rather made it worse.
“Well, they might have seen us kiss, but not...” Blanche struggled to find the fitting words. “Like this. You always ask them to leave the room before we get this close.”
Theodore's grin widened at her reaction and responded in an almost teasing voice. “Normally, I do. But right now, I couldn't hold back. Is that bad? I remember you initiating things like this in front of other people very often in the past. It always made you quite happy when they realized how much I care about you.”
It still did. Despite her uneasiness upon being watched, she also felt joy bubbling in her stomach. Theodore didn't feel shame when he was seen with her and didn't mind others knowing about their relationship. At least as long as no chatty aristocrats, who only waited for their opportunity to gossip about the emperor's frivolous affair, were near. Of course that made her happy.
“Yes, but...” Blanche's face became even hotter after admitting this and glanced at the roses to avoid eye contact. Should she tell him about her doubts? They were justified, so this seemed to be a good idea since he wasn't aware of the trouble that he could stir up just by kissing her. It couldn't hurt to warn him to be more careful, right? After all, being watched by anyone that had a connection to Henry Duremont would cause him political problems, which they could easily evade if he paid attention to it. “What if someone else sees us? Like the ministers? They sometimes came here without announcing their visit first. It wouldn't be good if one of them caught us in the act and told the empress' father. Or if he came here himself. What would he say about this?”
Theodore stayed quiet for a while after hearing this. In the meantime, his eyes were trained onto his lover without ever looking away. When he finally broke the silence, he was much more serious than he had been before. “It's very unlikely that one of them would come. If they did arrive here without sending a servant first, which they only do in emergencies, they would wait in the entrance hall like every guest.”
Apparently, Theodore had never noticed that Allen directly went to his sisters' room whenever he visited, at least if the empress' brother found it without getting lost in the garden.
But the emperor seemed to be absolutely convinced that he was right and spoke with utmost conviction. “You don't need to worry about this. The palace is your home, so you don't have to restrict yourself here unless you attend a public event.” That caused her to open her mouth to refute, but he wasn't done. He grabbed her hand and lifted it to his face to gently put his lips on her knuckles. “But if it makes you feel safer, we'll continue things like this in our chambers.” His expression lit up with a grin that made her heart skip a beat.
Blanche was flustered as she raised from the bench. Theodore mirrored her motion, but she quickly moved on. “We should walk a little now, or we won't even walk around the estate once until noon.” She spoke with a slight tremble in her voice. This was an obvious attempt at distracting him from the previous topic, but seemingly, he didn't mind it.
“We went outside to move around a bit, so it would be logical to do so. Then where shall we go?” Theodore bowed before her and offered her his extended hand, which she quickly took. They intertwined their fingers and began following the tiled path.
This gave Blanche time to think, which wasn't necessarily good. She was angry at herself for running away because her lover had suggested something related to spending the night with her again. This was the third time that she reacted like this after he mentioned the subject.
But this wasn't because she was unwilling to be with him. She wanted to be intimate with the man that she was completely devoted to. Of course, she did. She was madly in love with him and adored having his unconditional attention. She enjoyed being close to him.
However, since she had gained the novel's memories, she had been indecisive when it came to her lover. She couldn't live without him and trying to stay his one and only was tempting, but all of that lowered her chances of survival tremendously. In the future, she would most likely have witnessed him falling for another woman. So, a part of her wanted to flee while the other one refused to give up the hope that she might remain relevant in Theodore's life. At the same time, she wished to keep Seraphina away from him, even if she knew that this would make her the heroine's enemy and thus kill her.
Her uncertainty that made her consider sleeping with Theodore created a similar dilemma. She longed for his closeness and didn't wish to reject him. But how could they engage in the ultimate proof of love while her mind pictured the moment in which he would leave her? She would cry again and trouble him because she couldn't tell him the true reason, which she already had done too often in the last few weeks. But wouldn't refusing to be with him without explanation also hurt Theodore?
Sooner or late, Blanche had to make that decision but now was not the moment. She didn't want to waste her precious time with her lover by being too absorbed in her thoughts to pay attention to him. She banned these troubles from her head and fully focused on the lighthearted conversation with him and enjoyed his presence.
But as all good things come to an end, their walk couldn't go on forever. Even though Blanche had talked with him way more than during the last months, she couldn't help but sulk when noon arrived. After all, she was aware that she wouldn't have another chance to be with him for so long in the close future.
The emperor himself also didn't look like he was ready to go back to his office. Why would he when all that awaited him was a never-ending list of work that needed to be completed? Being the ruler of Artias made him the most powerful man in the nation, but all of that influence was linked to a responsibility that forced him to sacrifice the biggest part of his life for the country's sake. The only calming aspect was that the novel predicted that he would have fewer duties within the following months and eventually stabilize the continent of Eswen. This should prevent Artias' involvement in further wars after the ones with Northern Ocrea.
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Still, Blanche wondered why their nation's form of government forced one person to shoulder most of the burden. Surely, her lover got assistance from Leon, and the empress also took care of smaller tasks, but otherwise, Theodore was on his own.
Though this might have been because of the ministers, of which most only agreed with the emperor's decisions without helping him much or even disagreed and thus hindered his work. This was a problem that Seraphina managed to solve in the second half of the novel. The heroine was incredibly good at convincing people of nearly anything as long as they listened to her for long enough, and she had used that talent for good for her nation. Thanks to her endeavors, the book ended with each of the ministers taking over a specific part of the economic or governmental businesses. This would result in the emperor having more free time, which he could spend with his wife.
But until Theodore's liberation, a few months would still have to pass. For now, the emperor had no choice but to fulfill all his duties and set back his personal interest.
The hours with him were over in the blink of an eye, and Blanche already regretted that they would end soon as they left the garden. She considered telling her lover this, but that would only make him feel guilty about something that wasn't his fault. So, she kept quiet.
When they returned to the dining room, lunch was already served. They continued their last discussion while they ate.
After finishing their plates, both were unwilling to leave and stayed on their seats until the emperor let out a deep breath. “I would love to rest for the whole day and be with you instead of working, but... I don't really have a choice.”
He slowly stood up, and she did the same. At the door, they embraced each other for a long time.
“Don't overwork yourself.” Blanche murmured to him while nuzzling her cheek against him. She looked up at him before continuing. “How about I come to the office sometime and bring you a cake that I made? I assume that I will bake a lot in the near future.”
“That would be nice. I always look forward to getting to taste your newest creation.” He leaned down to kiss her onto her forehead and remained in this position for a moment. A few seconds passed before he finally breathed out something. “I don't want to go.”
His whisper made Blanche hug him tighter. “I don't want you to go either. But you have to.”
Upon hearing that, Theodore sighed and straightened his posture. “I know. Still, I'll miss you. At least I will return for dinner.”
Blanche smiled at him. “Until then.” She pressed herself against his chest and raised her head. Her hands tangled themselves into his hair, and she gently signaled him to lean down again. Theodore followed her request eagerly, and she put her lips on his. This kiss was much shorter than the one in the garden, and still, the same addicting warmth rushed through her veins into every bit of her body.
The only difference was that it hadn't come as a surprise, so she could think clearly, even if it required a great amount of energy to not get distracted. This wasn't exactly an advantage. Now her mind was filled with warnings about the novel and her own ending. She remembered that there was one scene in which Seraphina kissed Theodore like this, which caused her to feel a pang in her chest. But luckily, it didn't take long before all rational thought faded into the background with only her emotions mattering. Still, she managed to realize that she might get so absorbed that she forgot the time again.
Before that could happen, Blanche separated herself from her lover and patted over his head a couple of times. “I don't want to make you late.”
The emperor let out a half-loud groan before forcing himself to grin. “Believe me, if Leon didn't work without a break even when I'm away, I would postpone my duties and stay. I have to go now, or I will seriously consider leaving everything to him.”
She reluctantly took a step back in an attempt to not make it harder for him. “You really shouldn't do that. He would pass out after a week at most.”
They moved to the door and exited the dining room while Theodore gave her a half-sided smirk. “He wouldn't even last three days, much like I wouldn't stand this without his help. I am more than grateful that he is my secretary.”
When they stopped in front of Owen to bid each other farewell one last time, Blanche noticed that a few servants were already standing in the corridor without uttering a single word.
Apparently, the couple had delayed leaving so long that the staff had become restless. Maybe the servants had guessed that the concubine had troubled her lover again, but still, they remained completely silent out of respect for their ruler. Though Blanche couldn't confirm her assumption since they were currently bowing to the emperor, which made it impossible to read their emotions.
Theodore faced her with a small smile, which she returned. “Then we'll see each other at dinner. Hopefully, your afternoon will be pleasant.”
Blanche's current circumstances weren't nearly as stressful as his, at least if she ignored the novel, so she didn't doubt that the whole day would remain calm. So, she only prayed for him to not encounter any problems that would increase his amount of duties even more. “It's more important that you don't run into difficulties with any contracts. Until later.”
The emperor nodded at Owen before giving her another smile. “We'll see, but if the other parties don't suddenly back out of the plan, it should be fine.” These words probably were supposed to be voiced with much more conviction, but it sounded like he was very uncertain. Theodore left along with his knight to go back to his office.
Immediately, after he had rounded the corner, servants began chattering and some entered the dining room to clean it. It was impressive how much influence the emperor's presence had on other people, which felt strange to Blanche.
Even at the very start of their relationship, she hadn't been the slightest bit intimidated by Theodore. She had only maintained some distance because she had worried about ruining her relationship with him because of her sudden romantic interest. She had even called him by his first name from the very beginning since he had introduced himself like to her. After just a few days, she had begun to use his nickname instead too. If she remembered correctly, she hadn't even asked for his permission before that.
This was obviously an outrageous disregard of the proper way to encounter a member of the royal family and the ruler of the nation. Not even the empress could use the emperor's first name without him explicitly allowing it. Surprisingly, Theodore hadn't complained once about Blanche calling him ‘Theo’ though, probably because he had blamed her amnesia for her naivety. And obviously, since he had liked her at that point already.
In reality, Blanche would probably not have been able to address the emperor correctly even if he had insisted on it. She had been born as a commoner, who could never dream of meeting the emperor and hadn't learned about the demanded conduct when interacting with nobility. In her mind, royalty had always been connected to her childhood fantasy of becoming a princess and never to someone she couldn't dare to offend. Even Marquess Sefare's efforts at teaching her the most basic rules had been forgotten as soon as she entered the beautiful palace and was blinded by the gorgeous scenery of the garden. In hindsight, she could only thank Theodore for being so lenient with her. Despite her ignorance, he hadn't pushed her away but made her his lover.
But in the end, this difference in her treatment also caused her not to feel so intimidated by him. She didn't primarily see Theodore as the man of the highest rank in the country but rather the person who cuddled her until she was asleep. Maybe this was part of the reason why the Blanche in the novel hadn't accepted Seraphina's superiority until her demise.
The heroine had the highest status in nobility as well as the emperor's true love and was incredibly intelligent. Trying to attack her was the same as committing suicide. So, it only made sense that the villainess had to have been unable to grasp the difference of power between herself and her enemy. Otherwise, why would she insist on antagonizing the empress even when she had already lost?
Blanche once again cursed the author of that damned book for giving the main character unfair advantages but was distracted when she saw Stella from the corner of her eyes.
Stella spoke up without even waiting for her mistress to turn to her. “You took really long today, so some servants already asked whether you had left while we didn't notice.” The maid evaded her mistress' gaze in favor of observing her colleagues. It sounded like she was a bit embarrassed, and her refraining from asking why the couple had been so slow revealed why. Apparently, witnessing their kiss earlier had given her the wrong idea.
“We didn't-”, Blanche began but interrupted herself. Addressing this without a reason would only make her seem unbelievable and put her in an uncomfortable situation. “Well, that doesn't matter. Anyway, let's go to the kitchen. I have no recipe in mind, but I want to bake something. Do you remember something you made once and liked?”
Stella also appeared to be relieved upon changing the subject and listed all of her favorite desserts, which mostly were simpler dishes.
This gave the concubine enough ideas for the next weeks, which made her look forward to those days a bit more. While she still couldn't see her lover as often as she wanted, she didn't have to sit around doing nothing. In addition, her baking served as an excuse for her to visit her lover for a few minutes and grant him a small break, which she planned to make the most of.
Though she didn't wish to keep him from finishing his duties and thus having to work longer either. So, Blanche limited herself to bringing him pastries twice a week. This time, she actually managed to stay true to her decision and refrained from surprising him for the following five days.
She spent her free time going on walks and baking in the kitchen, where she met Darlene, Angelica and George almost daily. Sometimes, Clark was also present and didn't run away again liked during the last times. Still, he was tense at first and needed a couple of minutes to feel comfortable in the conversation.
Fortunately, Harris didn't appear while Blanche was there, for which she sincerely thanked her normally unreliable luck. His presence would only sour her mood and force her to deal with his unbearable attitude and his confusing existence.
So, five days went by without any difficulties as Blanche just busied herself.
And like this, her calm moments before the storm passed.