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The Emperor's Concubine
Chapter 130: What You Will Never Be

Chapter 130: What You Will Never Be

“What was the second topic you wished to talk about, Your Majesty?”

Seraphina neutralized her expression as she straightened her posture and made eye contact with the concubine. “I will be frank with you. I still do not trust you or forgive you for all the things you did to provoke me. But this does not justify that I made some of my decisions while assuming that your intentions were ill without exceptions. You cannot blame me due to your previous behavior, but it was still unbefitting of me, as the empress, to act without knowing all the facts. One example would be the tea party a few months ago. Even though I am aware that Lady Lemares can be a very unkind person, I told you to apologize to her. Just because I wished to avoid her causing a scene about me not defending her.”

Blanche hadn't expected that topic, but she didn't even dare show much of her irritation.

The empress drank a sip of her tea before continuing. “After that, I was unable to back down since it would have undermined my authority, so I had to shut down your complaints despite them being completely justified. It was the same when I found out that Lady Ravillot secretly met you multiple times behind my back. I believed that you were attempting to manipulate her in some way and only realized that she had been the one to approach you after a conversation with her.”

The more the empress talked, the more confused Blanche became. Was the other woman truly not seeing her as the vilest creature in this world anymore? If that was the case, it would make her future life so much easier. So, she just stayed silent and let Seraphina continue.

“Me not allowing you to speak up at the ball on my birthday was irresponsible as well. I had noticed that you weren't standing upright and stumbled while moving, but I assumed that you were acting to attract attention. Thus, I refused to give you even more room to do something that might be supposed to ridicule me. In the end, this was what caused you to collapse during the ball, which was way more problematic than allowing you to leave early would have been. The only other example I would like to name is my reaction to seeing His Majesty and you touching each other. You always seemed to cling to one another in front of me, so I believed that this was done purposefully to anger me. But I recently learned that the servants have been gossiping about your inability to ‘keep your hands off each other’ ever since you entered the palace. Thus, it appears like I misinterpreted this. I still do not wish for you to show me your displays of affection like you did during the breakfast at the beginning of the vacation, but I will not see it as a personal attack anymore.”

Blanche had begun to feel happier with every time that the empress had acknowledged that the concubine wasn't always doing everything with bad intentions, but now she felt a bit guilty. Surely, she and Theodore were always extremely affectionate with each other to the point that others believed them to be unhealthy. But that one time during breakfast, the emperor had shown their relationship purposefully to get Seraphina out of the dining room. That had actually been done with the intention of provoking the heroine. Of course, Blanche wouldn't speak up to reveal this now, but she couldn't help but feel like she was a little mean because of that. “I apologize for that, Your Majesty. That was inappropriate of us. I would like to-”

The empress cut her off by lifting her hand. “From what I have seen, those actions mainly originated from His Majesty, and you seemed to have been uncomfortable with that from the very beginning. I appreciate the sentiment, however, you cannot apologize for another person, especially not His Majesty. Just make sure that it won't happen again, and I will be content.”

Blanche nodded at that without saying anything. Even though Seraphina had said that she didn't blame the concubine, it was obvious that the heroine was still annoyed because of that day. So, it might be better to drop the subject.

Fortunately, the empress appeared to have the same thing in mind. “In any case, I would like to avoid dwelling on trivialities and focus on the more important part. In the future, I will take care to view all of your actions through a more objective eye. As long as you stay quiet like this, I do not see the need for us to be in conflict with one another.”

Blanche blinked a few times as her heart began to beat faster. The heroine had just told her that they wouldn't have to fight from now on even if the concubine stayed in the palace. That guaranteed that she wouldn't become the villainess just because of Seraphina's opinion of her, right? Being able to ignore the empress' presence without having to worry about accidentally provoking the other woman would make Blanche's life so much easier. So, why was she still so skeptical?

Blanche balled her fists under the table as she gave her best not to show how uneasy she got all of a sudden. She took a deep breath and replied while focusing on being as polite as possible. “Thank you, Your Majesty. That would be wonderful.”

Seraphina eyed her while stirring her tea and kept quiet for a moment. She gracefully lifted her cup and drank a sip before slowly setting it down again. “It would be beneficial for both of us if your attitude stays like this instead of reverting to your original one. After all, you causing trouble again would mean that I put trust in you despite knowing better and that I got fooled by your acting. In that case, I would not be pleased and might start viewing you as my enemy. I can assure you that you do not wish for that to happen.” Even though the empress was simply making eye contact with the concubine, she was intimidating. The look in her eyes made it obvious that she wasn't joking and wouldn't give Blanche a third chance if she messed up again.

The concubine's barely existent euphoria faded away completely. She didn't intend on antagonizing anyone, but a misunderstanding could still cause her a lot of trouble. So, she would have to stay careful to not cause problems for the heroine, or she might end up being punished in some way despite her efforts. A flash of the memory of her execution appeared in front of her inner eye, and she quickly pushed it away, but the scene had already implanted itself into her brain.

Seraphina could rob her of everything and kill her if she so desired. That was a fact.

Unwillingly, Blanche sank in herself and put her hand onto her neck to protect it. She lowered her gaze to the table as she tried to form a coherent sentence in her head to assure the empress that she didn't wish for any conflicts either. “I know that it sounds odd coming from me, but I really have no intention of bothering anyone. I swear that I would never attempt to harm you or anyone else, nonetheless Theo. From now on, I will just stay in a corner quietly without-”

A loud clink from across the table made Blanche flinch as she raised her head.

Seraphina had put down her cup onto the saucer with more force than usual, but her expression wasn't furious like the concubine had expected. Instead, the empress only seemed a bit irritated. “I did not intend on pressing this matter since I am in no position to wonder about your thought process. However, I would like to know why you seem to be fearful whenever I say something that should be common sense. Just now, I merely said that I would not stay calm if you returned to being as confrontational as before, and you immediately feel the need to defend yourself and cower under my gaze. If you have no intention of bothering me, as you just said, there should not be a reason for you to be worried.”

Blanche fiddled her hands on her lap and averted her eyes for a moment. The longer the heroine was staring at her in silence, the harder it became to come up with an excuse. Telling the half-truth would be fine, right? As long as she wasn't lying, even her poor acting skills shouldn't betray her. “To be honest, I am a little concerned about issues that might arise even though I did not mean to trouble you intentionally. My position in the palace itself is enough to cause problems over and over again no matter how quiet I am. People will gossip when I talk to someone, but they will also find it strange if I do not speak to anyone. Some might make inappropriate comments like at the tea party. Until now, I was lucky enough not to end up in a situation that didn't allow me to simply shut my mouth. But there are a few individuals that are purposefully trying to make my life harder, and I might not be able to prove that they were the ones at fault. And since I do not doubt that Your Majesty is able to get rid of me if you wished to do so, I cannot help but be worried about that.”

“Do you think this lowly of His Majesty?”

Blanche froze at that question. “Pardon? I am not quite sure what you might mean by that.”

Seraphina took her time pouring herself another cup of tea with so much grace that it seemed odd to know that she rarely did this herself. Then she met the concubine's gaze with a calm expression. “From the very moment that you met His Majesty, you have been under his protection. He is the most powerful man in the nation and a very intelligent and wise ruler. What makes you think that he does not pay close attention to your expression when people approach you? As you already noticed yourself, your face gives away how you feel. It should be clear that he would remember whom you dislike and whom you are scared of. Naturally, I do not have an overview of his plans nor can I read his mind, but I am convinced that he knows who might trouble you.”

Maybe partly. Blanche doubted that it was that easy.

The empress stirred her tea while continuing to speak. “His Majesty will not let someone offend you and could justify this by naming you as a guest of the royal family that cannot be disrespected either. So, you should be safe in that regard. I also find it surprising that you believe that the empress would have enough power to against the emperor's decisions. Have I ever managed to order a punishment for you even after you directly insulted me in front of all nobles in the capital by taking my seat at a banquet? How would I have been able to do so with His Majesty backing you and defending you no matter what happened?”

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That was true as long as Theodore was on his lover's side. Until now, Blanche had almost been invincible because of his favor, and the only real threat was losing it. So theoretically, she was safe for now. Still, she was convinced that being hated by Seraphina wouldn't do her any good. The thought made her so nervous that she started to play with the ring on her right hand.

The empress watched the concubine for a moment before sighing quietly. “Allow me to repeat what I said simply to make myself clear. Maybe a more direct phrase will help you understand. I do not care about the relationship between His Majesty and you. As long as you behave appropriately without doing anything that would purposefully damage my reputation or lessen my influence, I do not care. He may be my husband in name, but we have never gotten along well. In the past, you tended to witness our regular arguments often, and those were mostly about you and your inconsiderate actions. You should know better than anyone else. Despite this, there was a time in which His Majesty and I managed to work together calmly due to the huge amount of duties at the beginning of the year. However...”

Seraphina paused as if she wanted to emphasize the following words. “Political discussions with the ruler of a nation to secure Artias' well-being do not change the fact that we are not close on any personal level. I would not call myself a friend or acquaintance of his but merely a partner in our duties. Thus, I am not interested in his personal matters if they do not somehow make my position as the empress more troublesome. I only felt the need to discuss things related to you with him because of your abhorrent behavior in the beginning. Since you are calm at this moment, I could not care less. Was that clear enough?”

That should have been obvious, but Blanche felt like her heart was melting when she heard this. The heroine didn't see her fated partner as a romantic interest and went as far as to say that he could do whatever he wanted as long as she wouldn't suffer because of him. Both of the main characters didn't feel drawn to each other, even though it should have been the case in the novel. So, she had been successful in keeping them apart. Whether her meddling had ruined Theodore's happy end would still remain uncertain for the time being, but one of the two other biggest threats to her would be eliminated.

Hearing this was wonderful and gave a little bit of hope back to Blanche. She felt a soft smile forming on her lips. “Yes, Your Majesty. I understand.”

“Good. Then the other part should not be more problematic to comprehend either.” The empress straightened her posture and made eye contact with the concubine with so much determination that Blanche almost wanted to cower again. “No matter how much His Majesty favors you. No matter how often he showers you with gifts and allows you to do anything you like. And no matter how often you might intend to cause trouble for me.” Seraphina said the next words with exaggerated clarity. “You will never be empress.”

Blanche definitely hadn't expected that Seraphina would want to bring this up. After all, this wasn't a subject that was up for debate. “That is obvious, Your Majesty. I do not have any desire to be empress. I love Theo and want to stay at his side for the rest of my life. That is all that I wish for, and I do not have any audacious desires like gaining more power.”

Seraphina narrowed her eyes at her, and the atmosphere in the room immediately became tenser. “It is surprising to hear you say something like this after months of attempting to claim the empress' privileges.” The underlying anger in her voice was easily audible.

Blanche grabbed her ring a bit tighter and quickly replied. “I know, Your Majesty. In the past, I was stupid and childish enough to believe that having more power would be a good thing. But now I understand that power is also connected to responsibility. Being the empress would be impossible for me. I do not have the political experience or education that would be necessary to appear as a wise and behaved ruler. Me being in that position would not only ruin our nation's reputation but could possibly also endanger the country's well-being. You, on the other hand, have been raised while being prepared to become the empress. Your family is the most influential dukedom in our nation, so you have the backing of powerful people as well.”

The concubine finally stopped playing with her ring out of fear of breaking it. She forced herself to lift her hands and put her palms flatly on the table in an attempt to seem somewhat dignified before adding the second half. “At the same time, I have no noble background. If I became royalty, it would be an insult to every aristocrat in Artias. There is no question about who is fitting to be empress. No one would support me, and me being close to the royal family would only cause trouble for Theo. He would never even consider marrying me. I won't be impudent enough to ask to be his wife anymore either.” Even though it was obvious that this was a fact, it stung to voice it.

From Blanche's early childhood on, she had dreamed about her wedding and how she would marry her partner in a puffy white ballgown. She had imagined how the bells would chime while they exchanged rings and kissed each other in great detail and had happily blabbered about that to her parents. They had told her that she would be able to do all of that if she found the right person. Now she was in love with the right person, and she couldn't even call him her lover. He was in a marriage with another woman without love and could never take Blanche's side because his position was more important than his own feelings. That was a dejecting truth, but she couldn't simply ignore it and live in her dream world.

Luckily, Seraphina had lowered her gaze to the concubine's hands, which gave Blanche enough time to focus on the conversation again without meeting the other's gaze. Apparently, this didn't do her any good though.

The empress kept quiet for an uncomfortable long time before a single order left her mouth. “Leave.” Her cold tone said everything.

The concubine's eyes widened at that. Had she said something wrong? Her words should have hurt herself more than anything else. It wouldn't make sense for the empress to be offended because of that. “I apologize if I said something inappropriate, Your Majesty. I am not aware of voicing anything-” She cut herself off as Seraphina narrowed her eyes at the other woman.

Refusing to comply with the empress' orders wasn't a good idea, especially after insisting that the concubine wasn't trying to disregard the other woman's status. The heroine was angry because of something, so Blanche would have to make way. She jumped to her feet and hurried to hold the teacup so that it wouldn't tip over because of her sudden movement. “I will take my leave now, Your Majesty. Have a wonderful afternoon.” She made a curtsy before spinning around and exiting the room as fast as she could without running.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Blanche left out a deep breath, and her shoulders sank. The conversation hadn't been bad at all, but the ending already dampened her spirits again. It seemed like the villainess and the heroine were simply destined not to get along well. It also looked like she was being blamed for something that she wasn't aware of again, which meant that she couldn't even apologize. Great.

So, throwing someone out before they could finish their tea was fine as long as Seraphina did it, even though it was extremely disrespectful? Despite the heroine just promising to be objective in the future? At the same time, the concubine didn't even get the chance to defend herself when someone got furious about something that she had said without intending to offend anyone. How unfair.

Stella immediately rushed to her mistress' side. “Is everything alright, My Lady? What did Her Majesty say? Did she threaten you again?”

The concubine inhaled deeply and leaned her back against the door. She opened her mouth, but before she could respond, someone else chimed in.

“You should be careful about how you talk about Her Majesty. She would never feel the need to go low enough to threaten someone that could never be a threat to her position. If people hear you continuing to voice such insolent things, you won't stay a servant in the palace for long.” The empress' maids had approached the women, and one of them began lecturing Stella in a voice that dripped with anger.

Normally, Blanche would ignore something like this. Normally, she would just roll her eyes and leave. But being sent out of the room for nothing, even though Seraphina had just apologized for having acted biased, upset her more than she wanted to admit. Now her maid was being threatened for being concerned about her mistress, and memories of the empress' words regarding the incident four months ago resurfaced. That was enough to make the concubine snap at the maid in front of her. “You should think about the meaning of words before using them. Don't you think that tampering with the emperor's possessions and entering his office in secret would be much more insolent than talking about the empress? I don't think that you need to ask whether you would be able to keep your position if that was revealed.” While speaking, she noted that her tone was harsher than she had anticipated. She had no way of knowing whether this was the maid that had changed Theodore's clock either, but it was already too late at that point.

Apparently, she had addressed the right person though.

The maid's face became pale, and her eyes widened as she stared at the concubine in shock. Most likely, she hadn't expected that someone aside from the empress would know about that.

Blanche might have been content with that expression on another day, but right now, she only wanted to go into the kitchen to bake and distract herself. “Stella, let's go.” Just when she intended to stand up upright, the door behind her was opened. She quickly jumped away from it after almost falling onto the person that would come out now, only to slam into another person with much more force than she would have originally had. She let out an “I'm sorry” and stumbled back before looking up at Owen.

The knight stood next to the door and extended his arms towards her, most likely to catch her if she should fall. She took a few seconds to regain her balance while Owen was still unwavering as if nothing had happened. He took a step towards her and only lowered his arms when he saw that she wasn't swaying anymore. “I apologize, Lady Blanche. I thought that you might not be able to get away in time and ended up obstructing you instead of helping.”

The concubine let out a breath and made a rejecting movement with her hand. “It's fine. I jumped into you. But I have a history of running into people, so this isn't new. I'm sorry, I'll be more careful from now on. We will leave now.” She turned around and quickly moved down the corridor to avoid making eye contact with Seraphina, who had to have been the person opening the door from the inside.

After a few steps, Stella caught up to her. “My Lady, are you alright? Did that arrogant maid really dare to touch His Majesty's possessions?”

Blanche groaned to herself and hurried to round the corner before slowing her steps. “Yes, she was the one that changed the clock, which made Theo arrive too late for dinner. Do you remember how we waited an hour and I cried because I thought that he had forgotten about me? That was her fault. I'm angry enough about that, but the conversation with the empress was stupid too. I didn't do anything, and then she suddenly got angry and sent me away. Right after she told me that we wouldn't have any problems with each other. I don't even know anymore. She was the one wishing to speak to me, so why was she acting like this?”

The concubine tried to herself from sulking, but she felt like she had been treated unfairly, so it was hard to push that thought away. “She shouldn't have met me in the first place if she was going to be so sensitive. I didn't even say anything bad. She was much more impolite than I was. She kept interrupting me and made me wait for responses and things like that.” She crossed her arms and frowned while trying to keep silent, but the words were streaming out of her mouth against her will. “She repeated that she didn't have a problem with me a dozen times, and then she does something like this because I said that Theo won't marry me? That doesn't make sense. She's-”

“Uhm, Lady Blanche?” A quiet and shaky voice made the concubine stop. She turned to the side and made eye contact with a maid that was about two heads smaller than her. The woman cowered and avoided the other's gaze as she lifted an envelope. “Please excuse me for interrupting. This...uhm. This is a letter for you.”

Blanche's frown deepened at that. The week wasn't over, so the messenger shouldn't have come with any news from Theodore yet. But apart from her lover, no one would write her here in the summer residence. No one except for the inhabitants of the palace even knew the address of this house. So, who had sent this? The concubine took the envelope in her head and turned it around.

She was greeted by a green seal depicting the letter ‘S’.

That was the worst surprise she could have gotten.