If Blanche hadn't been focused on enduring this stomach-churning tension, she might have thought that Seraphina's expression was humorous.
The empress's pupils widened as she stared at the contents of the box on her lap. She looked up at the concubine momentarily before lowering her gaze to the gift and repeated this a few times. The ballroom, in which countless voices normally sounded at once, was so quiet that one could hear a pin drop. The heroine took a couple of seconds to process that her present wasn't degrading at all, but it was obvious that doubts quickly rose inside her. She narrowed her eyes and glared at the accessories in a manner that most guests probably didn't even notice.
Though that expression disappeared as fast as it had come and left behind the usual neutral expression as the empress spoke. “These accessories certainly look heavenly. I will take my time to inspect them closely after the ball. Thank you, Lady Blanche.” That reaction was to be expected. Seraphina had emphasized that the items appeared to be beautiful but that she didn't trust that they were actually valuable. Most likely, she thought that the concubine was giving her a present with a double meaning, something similar to what she had handed over last year.
Blanche might have been frustrated at the prospect of her attempt to be kind being interpreted as malice in her normal state. But right now, she was glad that Seraphina didn't praise the gift as that would have taken much longer. She just wanted to go to her room and lie down in hopes that her head would stop spinning overnight. “It was my pleasure, Your Majesty.” This was all she needed to do. Now only one thing was missing. She was quiet for a moment before opening her mouth to ask for permission to return to her chambers early, but the empress didn't allow her to speak up.
“I wish that Lady Blanche will have a wonderful evening. Please continue to enjoy the ball.”
The concubine was as taken aback by that indirect order to leave as Theodore was. He narrowed his eyes and leaned over to whisper something to his wife, who ignored him for a few seconds before murmuring a reply.
Blanche could already see that a fight was about to start if both of the spouses didn't back down, and considering how stubborn they were, neither of them would simply give in. That was the last thing that should happen at an event and would only worsen the relationship between Seraphina and Blanche since the concubine was the reason for the argument.
The thing that was described to irritate the heroine the most in the novel were situations in which the emperor used his authority to disregard her decisions, and it seemed like that was about to happen.
For a short while, the royal couple discussed in a low voice before Theodore simply turned to face his lover and smiled at her. “Was there something that you wished to say, Lady Blanche?”
Immediately, the aura around the empress appeared to change. Her eyes landed on her husband, and he met her gaze with the same amount of irritation.
Months ago, Blanche might have adored this tension since it proved that her lover was ready to defend her at any time, but now she felt rather threatened. If these two had another quarrel, she would inevitably be blamed by Seraphina and any other nobles who heard about it. The concubine couldn't risk letting something like this happen. She only had one way to deescalate this conflict, and that was to agree with the heroine. Even though that meant that she wouldn't be able to leave directly, it was better to suffer for a few more minutes. Much better than to sign her own death warrant by allowing most of the aristocrats to see her as the villainess, who was ruining a marriage.
“No, I only wanted to bid you farewell. May you have a beautiful evening, Your Majesty.” Blanche hinted another small curtsy and ignore the surprised expressions that the rulers showed her. But despite her sudden meekness, she had won.
When Seraphina dismissed her, the concubine almost sighed in relief. Before anything else could interrupt her, Blanche turned around and moved away from the thrones in the direction of Stella, who was observing her from a calmer spot. But she didn't feel much better now that the worst part was over.
Blanche barely reached her maid without having to pause on the way and was more than grateful to receive a glass of water from Stella. “Thank you.” She slowly swallowed the water until nothing was left.
Her servant examined her expression for a while before hesitantly raising her voice. “Did everything go well, My Lady? Her Majesty was as stone-faced as always, so she didn't get angry, right? But you seem upset...”
The concubine almost let out a nervous chuckle. “You really didn't see that? She hates me, and she can't hide that completely. I'm glad that the conversation was over so quickly, but I didn't manage to ask for permission to leave.”
Stella's face fell instantly. “Oh, no. What will we do now? You can't just stay here for another three hours.”
Blanche carefully turned around to search the room for Owen. As expected, he stood close to the platform with the thrones. She pointed at him and explained. “I could ask Theo's knight. Sir Maillont sometimes informs him about occurrences in secret. He came to ask about me already, right? He could pose the question for me and then tell me the response. Though I doubt that Theodore will refuse and force me to stay here.”
Just at that moment, the emperor and the empress rose from their thrones. Theodore offered his wife his hand, and she complied by putting her hand onto his. Without speaking a single word, which was unusual, they strode into the middle of the ballroom. Though their expressions betrayed that they were still fuming, they normally would make some sort of announcement anyway. Blanche was confused by this silence as most of the other guests also were.
After the royal couple stopped, Seraphina seemed to realized that questioning gazes were directed at them, which finally caused her to speak up and thus silence all noise around them. “Once again, I would like to thank all of you for attending this ball and embellishing my birthday with your presence. His Majesty and I will now dance our first waltz for the evening. Naturally, all of you are cordially invited to join us. Would you honor us with a fitting music piece, Conductor?”
It didn't take more than a few seconds until the orchestra played again, and still, it was enough for the royal couple to position themselves in the appropriate starting position. As soon as the first tact was done, they perfectly matched the rhythm and began twirling with every step. As usual, there weren't any mistakes to be seen, no matter how closely one inspected their movements even after Blanche had stared at them for a while.
This scene reminded the concubine of her dance with Luciano and how she had been stupid enough to be happy about Theodore's jealousy. Now that she was the one feeling envious, she was even angrier with herself for considering that her lover experiencing such a gruesome emotion could bring her joy. She clenched her fists and turned to Stella to distract herself. “I will tell Owen after the dance since he can't interrupt Theo anyway. But right now, everyone will be focused on the royal couple. Can you use that opportunity to bring the letter to Sefare? Fewer people will notice if you do it while they look elsewhere.”
Stella nodded at her after a slight pause and spun on her heel, only to freeze and turn around again. “I know that nothing should happen if you only stand still. But I'm worried about leaving you alone. It would be best for you to wait here until I come back.” Her mistress nodded, but the maid wasn't calmed. “Please, be careful. I have a bad feeling about this.”
Blanche tried to console her again. “Alright. I won't move a single step.”
Even after being reassured, Stella's worry didn't seem to abate. Still, she focused on her task and disappeared into the crowd that was busy chatting.
Blanche hadn't believed that being alone could make her more nervous than she already was, but it did. Admittedly, her servant's ominous feeling had also added a big amount of uneasiness to her already existent anxiety. A shiver ran down her spine.
For some reason, she felt the need to look around, only to notice that nothing had changed. The royal couple was dancing along with a few other nobles while the rest of the aristocrats watched them and participated in conversations. Still, her stomach turned and made her consider rushing to the bathrooms, but at the same time, moving away from the other people somehow seemed like a terrible idea. Why? The whole palace was safe, so there actually shouldn't be any difference between staying and leaving.
Had Stella's warning truly unsettled Blanche this much? She would have to ask her maid to refrain from saying something like that in the future. Though she wasn't furious with her maid but herself for acting so childish. Spectators had to think that she was insane for standing around without doing anything. She scratched her neck just to look like she wasn't currently shivering with unease despite not being in any danger.
Even though Blanche's mind was able to realize that she was behaving irrationally, she couldn't fight her body's instinct. She was trembling while it felt like she was burning alive and occasionally engulfed with water that was cold enough to turn into ice. Did she still have a fever? The concubine pressed her palm against her forehead but was unable to come to a verdict. It didn't feel like the many times that she had had a fever in the last three days. Her sickness hadn't been accompanied by such an intense sensation of dread.
As if someone was watching her, a tingle began to move up her spine and made Blanche hunch her shoulders. Though, as she whipped her hand around, there was no one in view who was focused on her. All the attention was directed at the royal couple.
Seraphina and Theodore were still dancing in the middle of the ballroom, which proved that there was no actual reason to be scared. If even the slightest clue indicated that something was off, the knights would immediately intervene and circle the rulers and guests to protect them. Since that didn't happen, it had to be safe.
Blanche was beginning to get frustrated with herself. She scratched her neck once again and froze at the feeling of something wet and warm on her skin. She slowly lifted her hand in front of her face and stared at the red liquid that covered her fingertips. Her heartbeat quickened despite her attempts to stay calm. She had simply been too distracted and pierced her skin with her own fingernails, which had drawn blood. No other explanation made sense. Though it was odd that she hadn't felt any pain, that didn't leave enough room for her to doubt that she had hurt herself.
Unwillingly, her mind brought the images of her first nightmare back to the surface. The concubine shook her head to get rid of the memories about her own execution, but her brain already held onto that idea.
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Even though it should have been impossible, Blanche's heart started to beat faster again. And it grew louder too. The thumping echoed through her mind while an ache came from her chest. It was only a light one, but the pain remained constant and became slightly more agonizing with every second. After a short moment, it got even worse.
Blanche couldn't keep herself from bending forward and hugging herself in hopes that the ache would pass. But it didn't.
Something was definitely wrong.
This couldn't have been caused by a normal cold. But she couldn't come up with another reason, not while her mind refused to acknowledge anything except for the stinging pain in the area around her heart. The concubine's eyes darted across the floor in an attempt to find something to distract herself, and she actually begged the gods to make it stop.
She doubted that her prayers were heard.
All noise around her seemed to cease. At first, the voices faded. Then the music began to sound as if the orchestra was playing without any coordination before getting quieter until it was silent. The only thing that proved that her ears were still working was the beating of her heart that got so loud that it was almost unbearable.
After seconds passed and the agony still remained unchanged, Blanche finally realized that she needed help. Immediately. This definitely wasn't healthy, and she had to see a doctor right away. But while her brain processed this piece of information, it was too busy telling her that she was in danger to press out any words.
Along with the pain, her horror grew even more. Why wasn't Theodore here? Or Stella? Or anyone else? She didn't care who it was, but one of the other guests had to notice that she wasn't alright at all. She couldn't even hear someone asking her whether she required assistance, which should have happened by now.
With great effort, Blanche forced herself to lift her upper body enough to look around. Her legs were quivering even more than before as she straightened her posture and lifted her head so that she feared that she would collapse. She barely managed to prevent that and opened her mouth to address the first person next to her.
But no one was there.
Blanche exhaled shakily as a wave of terror threatened to overwhelm her. She turned her head to the left, to the right and back to the left, but there was not a single person except for her in the ballroom. “Where...” The gears in her head were turning.
Everyone couldn't simply have disappeared within a minute. That wasn't possible. This wasn't the only impossible change though. The previously brightly illuminated room was almost completely dark now, with close to no decorations being visible.
Even though Blanche's panic definitely hadn't decreased, her heartbeat was getting quieter now too. In fact, it became eerily quiet so that she couldn't hear it anymore. The only sound that reached her ears now was the rhythmic clinking of shoes against the floor.
Blanche's gaze snapped to the source of the noise, and she found the royal couple that was still waltzing in the otherwise empty room. They hadn't even paid attention to the vanished guests and missing lights but simply stared into each other's eyes. Were they truly this immersed that they hadn't noticed the sudden change at all? They couldn't have ignored someone taking off all the decorations around them for the multiple hours that would be required to clean the huge room.
Just now Seraphina leaned her head against Theodore's chest, and they exchanged a few words that didn't reach the concubine. That image was enough to make the pain come back with full force, even if it was only for a couple of seconds before it faded into a constant slight stinging.
Blanche pressed her hand against the skin above her heart and grimaced at the ache. She gathered all her energy to open her mouth to call her lover's name, but when she did, only a breathy rattle left her throat. All of a sudden, it felt like she had drunken acid that was burning through her flesh and bones with ease. She grasped her neck panically, and as if her hands had somehow helped, the agony became less until an insistent itch was all that remained. But that didn't serve to calm her in the slightest.
Not when her hands were covered in warm liquid. When Blanche stared down at them, they were full of blood, which only made her even more scared.
She couldn't have scratched herself that badly without noticing it. Her whole body began trembling, which made her feel even more helpless. The tears that had been welling in her eyes for the whole time began rushing down as she attempted to use her voice again to scream Theodore's name.
Only a fit of coughs came out.
But that was enough to alert the emperor.
He was currently facing the other way and glanced over his shoulder to make eye contact with Blanche. The concubine felt more than relieved upon seeing this. Now she wouldn't have to wait much longer until he helped. He would get the royal doctor, and after taking a few pills, everything would be fine. She thought that, but her lover didn't react immediately. He turned to Seraphina and talked to her for a bit before they finally stopped dancing.
The empress leaned forward to kiss him and then left the room without looking back.
Theodore accepted that without a single word or movement. He stared after his wife for a little while. Then he spun on his heel to look at his concubine with a completely blank expression.
That made Blanche's hopeful smile fade slightly, but it disappeared fully when she tried to say his name, and rage overtook Theodore's features. She didn't even need to think about where she had seen that expression of pure hatred before. That fury had been present in both of her nightmares about being arrested and executed. In those dreams, he had looked at her like that.
That thought made her pause. A nightmare?
If it was another nightmare, that would explain so much. But Blanche couldn't be dreaming right now. She hadn't lain down nor did she remember that scene from the novel like the other ones. Was she hallucinating? That would rationalize the disappearance of dozen of guests and the change of location. But didn't explain why the blood on her hands felt as sticky as it would in real life. She couldn't have imagined that terrible pain either, right?
Blanche didn't have more time to ponder about that as Theodore suddenly began walking towards her. His glare was as intimidating as it had been in her nightmare, only that she had been aware of the fact that she was dreaming back then, and now everything felt real. Her lover truly looked as if he was ready to hurt her.
Before she could help herself, she took a step backward and then another one. A slight whimper managed to escape her lips, though she doubted that it was loud enough for him to hear. “Theo? It's...me. Why...are you...” Her words barely came out and resembled gurgling noises more than words.
But seemingly, Theodore had noticed that she was attempting to communicate with him. It just didn't have the desired effect. His eyes narrowed even more, and the glint of wrath in his gaze became stronger. “You shouldn't be here. Even after your death-” He began in a booming voice that pierced through marrow and bone and made Blanche flinch.
“Theo...” She tried to speak again, but her pitiful attempt fell on deaf ears.
“Even after you're beheaded, you continue to torment me. Wasn't it enough to do so while you were alive? This is finally over, and we have our peace. Do you seriously wish to destroy that just for the sake of your satisfaction? Because you can't let me rest? I should have realized how wretched you were earlier.” With every word, Theodore's voice became louder until he was almost yelling. “I'm only going to say this one last time. Get out of my head. Leave. Us. Alone.” He emphasized every single syllable in his last sentence and never slowed his pace in the process.
Blanche had resorted to taking step after step backward. Naturally, Theodore was faster than her, and she would have liked to run away to keep him at a distance, but her legs wouldn't allow her to do that. She was already sure that she wouldn't be able to keep herself upright any longer, and her lover's resentful remarks didn't make this better. “Why?” She could only breathe out that one word, and it hadn't even been loud. Just moments later, she began to suspect that that might have been a mistake.
With a few steps, Theodore was towering over her, and only a hand's width remained between them. “Why?” He repeated her words in a lower voice that was even more terrifying than his loud one. Though his yelling returned a second later, and it wasn't more soothing either. “You still have the nerves to ask me why?”
Blanche intended to jump back, but her legs gave in, which made her fall to her knees.
Instantly, Theodore grabbed her arms and kept her upper body from crashing onto the ground. “Blanche?” This time, his voice lacked the previous anger but was full of panic instead.
His touch made a jolt run through her entire body, and her head started to spin again.
She acted on an impulse. She squeezed her eyes shut, even though that wouldn't protect her in the slightest. She didn't dare to relax despite the lack of any impact or other pain.
That was weird. Nothing hurt. Blanche's chest and throat felt normal as if nothing had even happened. Her heartbeat was audible again too, and it was loud and quick but not as deafening as previously. Other sounds reached her ears as well, mainly someone calling her name. Was that...
Her eyes flew open, and she was met with Theodore's terrified expression.
“Blanche, what's wrong?” Her lover was almost screaming again, and yet, it didn't feel threatening this time.
Blanche was completely disorientated by that change and moved her head to the side to look at her surroundings. She was back inside the fully decorated and illuminated ballroom with all the other guests. The aristocrats were circling her and the emperor with some distance and gawked at the couple while murmuring quietly. Her gaze landed on Seraphina, who was watching them too with a deep frown on her face. That was enough to remind Blanche that they were definitely not acting as they should in public.
She turned back to Theodore and stared up at his face with wide eyes as she muttered a response. “Can't...touch me... They'll see...” She said that, but even she didn't pay attention to her own words. Her fingers were digging into her lover's uniform, and she had no intention of letting go. Actually, she would have been devastated if he had followed her demand, so she was grateful when he didn't.
Theodore pressed his cool palm against her cheek to keep her from turning away. “What are you talking about? That is not what you should worry about at all. Take a deep breath and look at me. Blanche, can you tell me where we are right now?”
Of course, she knew that. But putting her racing mind to rest to actually form a coherent sentence was harder than it should have been. “Home. In the ballroom.” In her dazed state, she didn't even realize why her response instantly caused a murmur to go through the crowd.
But Theodore didn't acknowledge that either and just posed the next question. “Exactly. What is this event?”
While Blanche didn't reply as smoothly as she normally would, speaking was a bit easier now. “The empress' birthday party.”
“Good.” The emperor slowly rose to his feet and pulled her with him while taking care not to make her carry too much of her own weight. Luckily, he did so since her legs were still trembling. “We are going to bring you to your room now, alright? We'll take our time, so just try to walk at a leisure pace. One step after the other.”
The concubine nodded and attempted to comply with his suggestion, but her knees were bending against her will any time that she applied any pressure onto them. Theodore was the only thing that held her upright, and to do that, he naturally had to be closer to her than he should while everyone was observing them.
This was horrible.
Blanche glanced over his shoulder to see how outraged the spectators were, but she didn't find anger in anyone's gaze. They all looked worried and stared at the couple with wide eyes, except for one person.
She recognized Marquess Sefare as soon as she caught a glimpse of his content smirk. Most likely, he was happy about the emperor being so open about his tenderness for the woman living in the palace.
That would certainly cause problems with Seraphina's family in the future. They had been furious at Theodore's treatment of the empress before, and now that sentiment would be stronger than ever.
But Blanche couldn't even focus on that thought as another concern appeared in her mind at the same time. Had Sefare received the letter already? Was he grinning because he knew how to make her pay for betraying him? If he revealed that they had worked together in the past, Theodore would hate her. Her lover would truly abandon her for that. She had heard what he thought about traitors and how he believed that it was better to weed them out early. He might treat her similarly to how he had in her hallucination if the truth was revealed.
The prospect of living through a future in which Theodore despised her like this made Blanche's legs even weaker. She didn't want such a life, and she didn't want to deceive her lover either. She should have never agreed to such a sketchy deal with some marquess she hadn't known before.
“I'm sorry.” Blanche barely managed to voice these words before the same amount of nausea came back with full force.
Every last bit of strength left her body, and it felt like the floor was rising suddenly. The time seemed to slow down during this odd movement, and she realized that it was the other way around. The ground wasn't coming up, but she was falling down.
Just before her head hit the tiles, a pair of arms caught her, but that didn't stop her from passing out.