Theodore entered the room without a warning. “I'm sorry for being late. Have you begun eating already?” He spoke with a bright smile and sat down on his chair.

The servants took this as their cue to exit the room, which left the concubine alone with her lover and her anxiousness. How was the emperor in such a good mood after he had let her wait for almost an hour because he was chatting with his wife? His halfhearted apology didn't simply make this up within a second.

Blanche expected more to come, so she stayed quiet and watched him get comfortable and starting to eat his meal.

Her missing response seemed to make Theodore understand that she wasn't as pleased as he was. After he had swallowed the food in his mouth, he set down the utensils again and stared at his lover. “Is something wrong?”

Blanche tried to form a sentence that didn't sound aggressive, but the whirl of emotions inside her made it hard to suppress voicing her real opinion. “Where were you?” Her tone had been sharper than she had intended it to be, which also showed on the emperor's expression.

He frowned but still replied to her without hesitation. “In my office. I had a quite enlightening discussion with the empress about some of our previous issues. For once, it was in a calm manner. This is the first time that I felt like I could understand her point of view more and like she was attempting to see mine as well. This could be great progress since I believe that we'll be able to work and get along with each other better.”

As he explained, his face lit up again, and he appeared to be genuinely happy, which felt like a paper cut inside the concubine's chest.

Blanche wanted to ask why he had stood her up without a single warning, but the words wouldn't roll off her tongue without her voice breaking. She really didn't really wish to concern him with her jealousy. He couldn't change the book either, and her seeming like a resentful, envious woman would only amplify his future dislike of her. She drank a sip of her tea to calm herself, but the result wasn't notable. Though while she could shut her mouth, she couldn't control her expression.

Theodore had no difficulties noticing when his lover was in distress, and today wasn't an exception. “You seem upset, did something happen?”

Blanche placed the cup back on the table with much more force than she had intended to, which led to a clink, and some liquid spilled out of the porcelain. She held back most of the anger in her voice, but it was still audible if one listened carefully. “Well, it's not an issue when you are late, but you could have sent a servant or written a short note. Just so that I would be prepared for that. I was worried, you know?” She didn't wish to risk shattering the fragile facade that was veiling her emotions, so she didn't speak any more.

Still, it had been enough for Theodore to realize that she was mad. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms while pressing his mouth into a thin line. “I understand what you mean, and I would have informed you if it had taken any longer. I only came a few minutes later than usual, so you didn't have to wait too long. But if you wish, I will send someone the next time. Let's not fight about this, please.”

The rational part of Blanche hoped to end this discussion soon and return to her room, where she could let out her frustration without making the emperor deal with her tantrum despite his stack of duties. However, his words destroyed all the self-control that she might have had before. She yelled but couldn't stop her voice from breaking near the end. “It's been ‘only a few minutes’? It's been an hour!”

Her lover looked at her before a moment before he checked the grandfather clock, and his expression quickly changed from slight annoyance to unbelief to realization. “That's...” He froze in place. “I didn't... How?” He covered his mouth with a hand and stared at the depicted time before turning back. His widened eyes gazed at Blanche, who was keeping her jaw closed tightly and balled her fists on the table in an attempt to prevent the growing urge to raise her voice from winning.

For a few seconds, it was silent while the concubine asked herself what was going on.

Then Theodore regained his voice and began to apologize profusely so that he almost tripped over his own words. “I'm so sorry! I didn't notice that it was this late. I wouldn't have stayed if I had realized! There is a clock in the office, and I looked at it multiple times. When I left, it was... I didn't mean to let you wait for more than five minutes, I swear. How on earth did...” He interrupted himself and stared onto the table cloth blankly for a moment. Then he looked up at his lover with a conflicted expression. “I'll make this up to you. Nothing like this will happen ever again, I promise. Please forgive me.”

Blanche disliked hearing him sounding guilty, even some part of her hoped that he wouldn't ignore her in the future if he remained this apologetic. But the novel predicted that his priorities would be different soon, so she also hated listening to promises that he couldn't keep. Those conflicted feelings made her want to change the topic. Her lover was sorry, so there was no need to deal with this any longer. “It's fine, just tell me next time, like you said.”

Nevertheless, Theodore didn't let himself be cut off. “No, this is not fine. I hurt you because of my negligence. There won't be a next time. I'll make sure to check on the time regularly when we're about to meet. I won't make you wait again, especially not this long.”

Surely, it hadn't been pleasant to sit there in uncertainty, but knowing that he was with Seraphina was the worst part. Still, Theodore rambled on about how he had wasted his lover's time without skipping a beat.

Blanche couldn't help herself and muttered her response under her breath. “The problem isn't that you were late.” The words left her mouth before she could close it. In a panic, the concubine's gaze snapped to her plate. Her true thoughts had leaked out, and she couldn't take them back anymore.

The desperate hope that the emperor hadn't heard her was immediately demolished by his reaction. He stopped talking and stared right at his lover. “What do you mean?”

She did her best to ignore the bubbling in her stomach and made a rejecting hand gesture while keeping her eyes downwards. “No, that wasn't anything important. I only spoke before I thought about what I should say.” She attempted to sound composed, but in reality, it was quite obvious that she wasn't fine.

Theodore's face darkened at her excuse, and he shook his head slightly. “That's not it, is it? If your mouth acts before your mind, then you voiced your true thoughts. Don't keep your worries or complaints to yourself. Tell me about them so that I can get rid of your problems. You mentioned that there was something else I did.” After her following silence, he added another sentence. “If you clarify what you don't like, I won't do it again.”

Blanche began to mutter some barely comprehensible phrases as an excuse and avoided eye contact. “That wasn't... I didn't mean anything by that. I don't mind. We can just...eat now. Right?”

Still, Theodore didn't drop the subject and reached across the table with his arms. He grabbed her hands and squeezed them, which always made her heart melt and encouraged her to be honest.

Even now, Blanche didn't want to admit her jealousy out loud.

She had known about her envy ever since the day that she had met Seraphina, who had been introduced as Theodore's fiancé, and this had only become worse after the wedding. Due to her behavior, the empress, the servants and also her lover were aware of the concubine's grudge against Seraphina.

But Blanche had never put her feeling in words except for the unkind names that she had called the heroine and didn't wish to change that. Explaining that she felt inferior to the gorgeous, intelligent, well-mannered woman from an influential family, who was married to the man she loved, and feared losing him to her was like accepting defeat.

Seraphina was perfect in every way, and Blanche didn't match her level in even one of them. Saying that this troubled her would reveal that she admired the empress despite her disdain for the heroine, and every fiber in her opposed to that. And she couldn't even emphasize the urgency of her fears by mentioning the novel. If she told Theodore about the future predicting book, he would send for the royal doctor instantly.

So, Blanche tried to keep him from asking. “I really didn't mean anything by mumbling. You don't have to justify your actions. If you tell me about your plans, that's alright.” She didn't want to tell him the truth, but he didn't let it go.

“I won't ignore your concerns, no matter how little they might seem. The last time that you brushed them off, I didn't insist on asking. Then I found you in the pavilion the next day while you were crying so hard that you had trouble breathing. I will not let you hide something that is hurting you again. Look at me.” His voice was gentle and yet firm at the same time, which made it impossible to refuse.

Blanche slowly raised her gaze to meet his while he interlocked their fingers.

Theodore looked right at her. “Please don't conceal what upsets you. Talk to me.”

At that moment, it felt like time had stopped. Blanche stared into the sea of blue in her lover's eyes, and everything else disappeared. She still didn't want to be honest, but it was like a cork in a turned-over flask had been removed. Some part of her needed to admit what she was concealing, or she would have a breakdown. Still, she tried to hollow out all the bitterness and desperation that actually was behind her words as she spoke. “I would have understood if you were late because you had to finish up work in the office. And I know that you were discussing something political, but I... You still set me back because of her.” She hadn't intended to end there, but her voice threatened to give in. She wanted to pull away her hands to begin eating or to do anything else but to keep staring at her lover. Since Theodore still held her hands and refused to let go, she couldn't even do that though.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

Theodore responded in a very soft voice, almost as if he feared that he would scare her if he spoke any louder. “I don't have an excuse for that, and I feel terrible. I'll never do something like this again, ever. I could swear that the clock showed me that I was on time. I will make sure to check that. Just know that you are my top priority and that I will never put anyone above you. So, you don't have any reason to be...” He hesitated for a moment only to gaze deeply into her eyes and continue in an even lower tone. “Are you jealous of her?”

Despite her reluctance, Blanche knew that there was just one true answer. “Don't make me say it.” Her response had come out quieter than she had wanted and was barely audible to herself since her heartbeat drowned out anything else. As she felt blood rush into her cheeks, she hung her head to avoid the judgment that she expected to see in his expression. Her lover knew that she was full of envy, even if he couldn't grasp the full extent of this emotion. Still, saying this to his face was humiliating.

Theodore's hold on her hands tightened for a moment until he raised one of his arms to push away the hair strands that obstructed his view of her face. “Why?” He was talking in the same soothing voice as before, but his question was irritating nonetheless.

Blanche replied without wanting to. “What do mean by ‘why’? She has everything I could only ever dream about. She is perfect. People admire her. She can do everything she wants on her own, and everyone will still love her. And she is your wife.” While she muttered, her eyes not once lifted to observe Theodore. The fear of being met with disappointment was too big.

Almost instantly after she finished, Theodore's hand was at her cheek, and he carefully stroked over her skin. “Blanche, you have no reason to wish for anything the empress has at all. She isn't ahead of you or superior in any way. You shouldn't compare yourself to her.” His tone remained quiet and seemed careful to not upset his lover any further. “There is nothing that would make me choose her above you. You are the person that I want to spend my life with. She doesn't have my love, not in the slightest.” Not yet. “I promised you when we got together, and I'll repeat it as often as you want to hear it. I won't leave you under any circumstances. My devotion is yours until the day I die. Don't forget the difference between you and her. She might be my wife, but I had to marry her for no other reason than strengthening political bonds to secure her family's support. But you? I wanted to keep you by my side because I love you. There was nothing except for my own feeling involved in that decision. You're my angel, whom I adore more than anything else in my life. You don't have to question my commitment.”

Blanche had needed to hear these words. Even if they could be created from the most hollow lies. Even though their honesty would soon be questionable. She adored hearing those words.

But in the end, they were still like a double-edged sword.

She slowly looked up. The doubtful part of her expected seeing an emotionless mask on Theodore's face, which would prove that his speech had only served to keep her satisfied so that she stopped annoying him. Instead, she could only see sincerity in his expression. Once more, her heart felt like it was torn to shreds as she observed him while blinking to distract herself a bit.

While she wanted to hear his affirmations of love, it also reminded her of her fear of losing him. With every time that they addressed this topic, she grew more certain that she wouldn't be able to bear him leaving her. She was sure that it would happen, but preparing her heart for the pain that would follow was impossible. Only considering such a future made everything ache already.

Blanche's voice was almost inaudible when she responded.“If that ever changes, please warn me first, or I'll...” She didn't finish the sentence, but her intention had been made clear.

The response came immediately. “I don't need to promise something like that since it's impossible for that to happen.” Theodore squeezed her hands tightly as his gaze pierced her eyes. “I don't have a way to prove that my words are true. I can only swear that I won't leave you. Never in my life have I felt something similar to the bond between us. I wouldn't consider changing this in my wildest dreams. How can a nightmare make you doubt our relationship this much?” His voice died, and he had to clear his throat before he resumed. “I don't know what I can do to convince you that you are the most important thing in this whole world to me. But I'll always be there for you and tell you no matter how often you need to hear it. Please don't believe that my love for you is this fragile.”

Blanche felt like a pit had formed in her stomach. She had only thought about her own emotions and not considered that she might hurt her lover with her worries. To the emperor, who was unaware of the novel's existence, her fear of being abandoned would seem exaggerated and portray her as an untrusting lover. However, she wasn't doubting his devotion because he made her feel unloved but because of the future she had foreseen. “I didn't mean-” She started, but she had no way to finish. “That wasn't...” Nothing came to her mind, nothing that would explain her view more or assure him that she didn't doubt him because of anything he had done yet. “I wasn't trying to say something like that I don't trust you. I...”

Theodore lifted her hand and put his lips on her wrist. “I know. I didn't interpret it like that either.” He pressed a kiss onto her fingertips and lowered her arm again. “I won't misunderstand your concerns as some sort of insult, so never stop voicing your complaints.”

The concubine nodded slightly and gripped his hand with a little more strength even as all of her complaints were stuck in her throat.

Their relationship had always been unbalanced, and she was reminded of this once more. The one who showered her in gifts and attention was Theodore. While Blanche didn't have the same access to money and goods as the emperor, she still felt guilty for being the person who received without exception. Usually, she had attempted to make up for that by sticking to Theodore's side as much as possible and spending time with him. Nonetheless, he had still been forced to endure all of her tantrums and pacify her.

Currently, this was only amplified. Now she regularly had emotional breakdowns because of her grief. So, he was focused on soothing her again, even while her remarks might have hurt his feelings. Still, he was offering to solve any problem that bothered her without demanding more compassion from her. Even now the villainess only caused problems for him. It was no wonder that he would favor the independent heroine.

And yet, Theodore was still here and held the villainess' hands while she desperately needed his affirmation.

Blanche could barely breathe as she muttered what she needed to say most. “I love you. And I'll feel that way forever.” Even if she might die because of that.

A gentle smile appeared on Theodore's face. “I love you too. That won't change no matter what.” He squeezed her arm before just offering her his presence in silence.

The couple kept their fingers intertwined for a few more minutes in silence before they separated their right hands to be able to eat Even though it was unpractical, they were unwilling to allow the smallest distance between them, and they didn't separate their left hands for the rest of the meal.

The concubine could barely swallow any food, but Theodore still encouraged her to eat a bit. When they were done, she expected her lover to leave as usual, but he kept his hold on her when they stood up.

As Theodore caught her staring at him, he quickly explained it to her. “I will stay with you tonight.” That sounded good now.

Blanche had needed his presence. She gave him a small smile as he led her to the entrance.

The couple left the dining room and came into the hallway, where a group of servants waited. It was an odd situation when the staff members all greeted the emperor, only to be met with a frown. Though Theodore's confusion made sense. Blanche didn't comprehend why those people were standing there either.

Four, maybe five, out of the servants had a reason to stay at this spot. Stella, who attended her mistress, the two knights who were guarding the door and a servant who was escorting Theodore as well as Owen. The kitchen staff could have possibly come too early to pick up the leftovers as the dinner had gone on for much longer than normal, but they weren't present.

Instead, the concubine spotted a few people whom she had seen occasionally in the palace, but they had other tasks than taking care of the meals. Among them, there was only one maid that had a higher position, and that was Seraphina's personal attendant. That woman didn't do anything except carefully watching the couple with slightly narrowed eyes, but that was enough to show how tense the situation was.

Blanche made eye contact with Stella, who was pressing her mouth into a thin line and clenched her apron in her fists. The servant's distressed look worried her. Had something happened?

The concubine let her gaze wander across the small crowd and realized that all of the servants seemed like they struggled to maintain a calm exterior.

However, the servants' anger wasn't disguised well for most of them. They either showed a frown, balled their fists, crossed their arms or tensed their jaw. All the people remained unmoving after greeting the emperor and only observed him and his concubine.

Blanche didn't understand the meaning of that and looked up at Theodore questioningly.

The emperor's expression had become stern, which proved that he hid behind the stoic mask he put on when he was in public and needed to assert his authority. Though when he gazed down at his lover, he smiled before going back to his seriousness and watching the servants. He seemed calm, but his tightening grasp on her hand betrayed his irritation. To her surprise, the emperor moved his arm more to the front so that she was pulled a step closer to him and their interlocked fingers were visible to the crowd. “We will take our leave now.” He announced that and didn't hesitate before leading his lover down the corridor.

The gears in Blanche's head were turning as she hoped to come up with an explanation of what that situation had meant. She peeked back to see Stella following her and the rest of the servants still staring at them. Her voice was still a bit hoarse as she asked her lover. “What was that about? They are all acting weird. And why were they just standing there?”

Theodore furrowed his brows and put an arm around her waist to pull her so close that she was almost leaning against him. “Because they are a nosy pack.” He growled that while leading her around the corner. Only then he lost his tension and paid less attention to his posture as he turned to his lover. “Of course, I don't know for sure. But I assume that they might have heard you earlier when you spoke a little louder and rushed to gawk at what is happening.”

Blanche stopped in her tracks as she remembered their discussion. Shame rose inside her, so she looked away as she wiped her thump over the back of her lover's hand. “I'm sorry for yelling.” She forced herself to look up. “I didn't mean to.”

Theodore spun around to face her and caressed her head by rubbing small circles onto her scalp. “It's alright, that was my fault. But I think that they are more upset about it than I ever was. Not everybody can raise their voice at the emperor without consequences, and they would definitely consider this an offense. It doesn't matter what they think, but it still infuriates me that everyone inside the palace is addicted to gossip. Don't they have anything better to do?” He gave her an encouraging smile before he continued. “But that doesn't have to concern us.”

Blanche agreed, which served as his cue to link their arms and pick up movement again. In her mind, she was still recounting her dispute with Theodore. She had become louder once. Had this short sentence truly angered the servants? Surely, yelling at Artias' ruler was offending, but he hadn't complained, so they shouldn't care. But since the servants already disliked the concubine in the first place, they probably reacted more sensitively than others would. That was problematic when she needed to influence the public's opinion. But Blanche refused to think about that now. She had other things to pay attention to.

The couple reached Blanche's bedroom and dismissed Stella before getting ready for bed. Theodore seemed to be interested in sleeping early, which was quite the exception. After they got ready, he sat down, and Blanche immediately saw how he halfheartedly hid a yawn behind his hand.

A smile grew on her lips as she climbed onto the mattress next to him and slipped under the covers. “Did you have an exhausting day?” She asked that in a quiet voice while he moved close to her. She slowly stroked over his hair as he pressed his face into the cushion.

Theodore hummed in response. He sounded like he was already half-asleep now, even though he hadn't seemed tired at the dinner table at all. Maybe he simply hadn't shown it as obviously as now, or the discussion had caused him to lose energy. Great. It seemed like his lover had once again done the opposite of what she wanted to do. Instead of helping him relax, she had troubled him even more.

Blanche felt bad for that, so she would quickly make up for it and let him sleep quickly. She kissed his forehead and put an arm around him before she whispered her response. “Good night.”

He returned the words in a mumbling tone and closed his half-lidded eyes. Judging by how tired he was, he would fall asleep soon, but the concubine didn't stay awake long enough to be sure.

Blanche's last thought before unconsciousness overtook her was that she wanted to be by her lover's side until the end.

Even if it was a bitter end.