Faintly, Blanche could hear one of the guards announcing her arrival. But the only thing she could focus on was her lover's face.

The moment she entered, the emperor had lifted his head and upon seeing her, the corners of his lips rose to form a smile that made her heart flutter. Within seconds, she abandoned all thoughts of the novel and her possible doom.

All she could do was stare at the mesmerizing blue of Theodore's eyes.

Unsurprisingly, he was as handsome as always. He was definitely the most perfect man that this world had ever seen. Blanche was a pretty subjective judge in this case though, so one should take her opinion with a grain of salt. After all, he was her adored lover, whom she considered to be the most important person in her life. Only seeing him was enough to fill her head with all the precious memories that she had made with him.

When she saw his lips, she remembered kissing him. When she looked into his eyes, she thought about the many times that he met her gaze while proclaiming his love to her. When she gazed at his soft hair that was colored in an almost black shade of dark blue, she remembered carefully stroking over it whenever she had the chance.

Her eyes met his, and she couldn't help but return his soft smile as he spoke up.

“There you are. I was getting worried when no one could find you.” Even Theodore's voice made Blanche feel ecstatic, just with a few words.

She walked towards the side of the table that was across Theodore's and sat down when Stella pulled the chair back for her. After moving the seat closer again, Blanche responded. “I apologize for that. I was in the garden the whole day. Obviously, most people wouldn't have expected me to be there.”

Theodore placed his elbow on the table and rested his head on his palm while scanning her expression. “Since you were out, I assume that you feel better. Your voice sounds normal again. Is the allergic reaction over or do you still feel bad?”

Blanche held her hand up and waved once in a dismissive gesture. “It wasn't that bad in the first place, and now it's finally gone. But any part of me that has begun to long for cherries is now buried at the very bottom of my soul.”

Her lover chuckled at her reply. “You definitely aren't going to eat more cherries any time soon. If you try to pick some for yourself again, I will get rid of all cherry trees. I'm serious about that. I'm glad that it wasn't that painful, but we won't risk anything. Honestly, I'm still worried, you know? Especially since you said you were in the garden the whole day while you recovered. What were you doing there? Usually, you don't stay outside that long.” He lifted his right hand to signal the servants that he wished to be alone.

The staff members promptly left the room. Stella and Owen also exited after the emperor thanked the knight with a nod.

When the doors were closed gently, Blanche began talking. “I was actually just taking a walk and looked at the roses. I might have been lost in a daydream, so I forgot the time. Nothing special happened.” Lying to Theodore didn't feel right and her tone didn't sound convincing to herself either. But it was better than telling him that she had found out that their world was actually a book. If she explained that she had been pondering about something unspecified, it was as close to the truth as she could get.

Still, it wasn't surprising that Theodore picked up on her lie. “A daydream? If something was on your mind the entire day, it must have been important. Is there something bothering you? I can take care of everything if you give me a hint of what it was about.”

Blanche quickly shook her head. “It wasn't anything bad. There is no need to worry.” Just this little lie sufficed to make him understand that she wasn't as honest as she should be.

Theodore's smile faded a bit. “You know that you can always tell me if something upsets you, right?” He paused as if he waited for her to answer. When she remained quiet for a while, he continued. “Especially if someone upset you. Even when it was someone important like the empress.”

Blanche froze in place and did her best to not let her expression give away her tension. She wrung her hands on her lap and focused on keeping her voice steady. “What exactly do you mean, Theo? Nothing happened.” For the first time in her life, using the nickname she always addressed her lover with felt strange in her mouth. For some reason, it felt like she hadn't said it like this in a while. But that couldn't be it. Maybe she felt odd because others would often be confused or even offended by her lack of formal speech around the emperor.

This time she was the one reminded of their difference in status though.

Theodore kept his eyes on her face while trying to pick up on any possible trace of anger. “Owen only went into the garden because we met the empress a while ago. She hinted that she met you outside after hearing that you had gone missing. And since I know how interactions between the two of you usually go, I wanted to ask if something happened. The empress seemed like she was a little irritated and your reaction proves that there was some kind of trouble. Tell me what happened, and I'll take care of the situation. I can talk to her to calm her down a bit if necessary.”

Blanche felt a tiny bit of anger bubbling inside her, but she was more disappointed than furious. When presented with a disagreement between her and Seraphina, her lover always supported her, but he just assumed that Blanche had been the one to make a mistake. While this had been the case more often than not, she hadn't done anything wrong this time. There hadn't even been a conflict, but she was still blamed for Seraphina's emotions.

And now he even offered to console the empress, even though Blanche was the one that needed him most.

She felt something prick in her heart at this thought. Maybe this was the result of being a villainess that had to fight against a heroine. The protagonists would always be treated preferably by others and win, while the fault was pushed onto their opponent. In an instant, Blanche's fears and the novel's outcome pressed back into her mind and she felt horrible once again.

The table was small enough to allow the participants of a meal to be quite close to each other. Normally she adored that. But now the short distance to her lover felt suffocating. Unwillingly, she let all the terrible images of being deserted by Theodore and eventually being beheaded run through her mind. She tightened her fists until she was sure that there would be crescent-shaped imprints left by her fingernails later.

This short conversation had already reminded her of the most important fact. She would lose this fight against the heroine no matter what she did. Maybe she should just try to get used to it now so that it wouldn't crush her heart even more when the ending came.

“Blanche?” Theodore's worried voice pulled her back into reality.

Even if she couldn't win, she needed to protect herself. Otherwise, she would be executed as the villain. Blanche told herself that but in reality she just hated the thought of her lover thinking badly of her. So she defended herself despite knowing that it wouldn't change a thing. “I didn't do anything.”

Both of them were silent for a moment.

That was enough to remind the concubine of her countless offenses in the past. She was much quieter when she added the rest. “This time, at least. I really didn't do anything.” She cast her gaze downward and concentrated on the filled plate before her. It was completely useless to feel like this now but her heart just hurt. She couldn't do much about that, so she had given in and tried to save what was already lost.

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For a few seconds, it was quiet again until the emperor broke the silence. “Blanche.” When she lifted her head slightly to look at him, he rested his arm on the table and turned his palm upwards right in front of her.

It was almost a reflex. She didn't hesitate for long and put her own hand in his. It felt warm and being able to touch him made her heart skip a beat. She loved him so much. Why did she have to lose him?

Theodore began talking in a soft voice while slowly caressing the backside of her hand with his thumb. “I didn't mean to say that you did something wrong. I only wanted to know what happened. Did you two fight?”

Blanche shook her head while holding back her tears. “No, we didn't. We just met by accident and exchanged a few sentences. I properly greeted both her and her friends. I also apologized for my behavior at the banquet, so I don't know why she is upset.” It wasn't her fault if Seraphina couldn't deal with her presence.

Theodore listened patiently and smiled after hearing about the apology. “I'm glad that you did that. The banquet was truly a bit problematic. But if you apologized, everything should be fine again. I can assure you that there won't be any problems if you keep in mind what I told you. As long as you don't pick fights with anyone on purpose, nothing can happen to you. That is why you don't need to worry about the empress. Her stupid chair next to mine doesn't mean a thing. She'll get over it in a few weeks.”

After gaining the novel's knowledge, it was strange hearing him say those words. He would fall in love with the empress, so he wouldn't be indifferent about her for long. And at the same time, his promise to keep his concubine safe only caused Blanche to worry.

Why had her lover decided to give her such great freedom? He had always allowed her to continue exhibiting the pretentious behavior that she had shown from the beginning. This had made the villainess feel too safe, and she began to scheme against others to gain power. She had done all of those things while believing that the emperor would protect her. Then she had crossed the line and paid the bitter price.

Normally Blanche loved being doted on, but now it left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. Theodore's pampering had only fueled the original Blanche's confidence to the point of becoming the villainess. If he had been stricter with his lover, maybe she wouldn't have gone beyond the limits of acceptable behavior. Maybe she wouldn't have been left to die.

Theodore defending Blanche like this hadn't protected her but rather encouraged the concubine to run into danger. And he hadn't noticed that he played a crucial part in dooming his lover at all. He should have scolded her more for the thing that happened at the banquet. Maybe that would have protected her from losing his love too.

Of course, she couldn't blame him for the crimes that she had committed in the novel, but his actions still had reinforced her actions. At least a little.

Maybe that was why Blanche couldn't keep quiet about this. She held herself back from pointing out that the empress' chair had never been the root of the problem and just addressed the main issue. “But aren't you spoiling me too much by saying something like that? What I did during the banquet wasn't sane. Anyone else would have been thrown out of the palace for that. And that wasn't the only time that I messed up. Don't you think that I should start holding back? I probably shouldn't offend anyone anymore since I already caused so many problems. After all, I'm only a baroness, and you are the one who granted me the title. This means that my rank is much lower than most other noble's ones. Provoking people with higher status isn't really intelligent, is it?”

After finishing her sentence, she realized that she might seem pretty serious to Theodore, so she smiled at him to make her concerns appear less urgent.

Her lover scanned her expression for a moment. He seemed to notice that something was wrong, but he didn't address it immediately. Instead, he squeezed her hand. “Don't worry about stuff like that. No one can ever harm you. You are my lover, so you won't ever be in danger. That means that you can do things others could only dream about. Of course you can't run around and offend others, but you don't have to accept it when they say annoying things. And no matter what happens, I will always be by your side.”

Previously, these kinds of promises had been the ones that Blanche adored. She had loved being told that her lover was with her for the rest of her life. But right now she felt insecure with how easily his words had influenced her. Wasn't he just lying the whole time? He couldn't know that but she did.

Theodore watched her for another moment before speaking up. “We should begin to eat before the food gets cold. The servants also brought your favorite tea, so you should drink while it's still hot.” He pointed at the pot next to Blanche's plate.

The concubine was thankful for a chance to avoid eye contact for a moment and lifted her cup. She took a sip and inwardly had to admit that she was torn. The sweet fruity taste of apricot filled her mouth and she would normally melt because of that. It usually also helped to calm her down, but today it did little to relax her.

The presence of her favorite tea often meant that Theodore had expected her to get angry at his words and hoped to appease her. He was used to her tantrums when a conflict with the empress had developed and thus had prepared the drink beforehand. If he had always known how explosive her temper was when it came to the empress, why didn't he encourage her to learn to control herself?

Blanche thought about what he had just said while watching him beginning to eat. He was right about her having more freedom as the emperor's mistress. But he didn't seem to be aware that this also meant that this privilege was only limited to as long as he decided to keep her by his side. Having knowledge of the future made her think differently about their relationship than he did. After all, she knew that his love was fleeting and that he would fall for the woman whom he currently only considered his wife in name.

Oh, how she hated that her thoughts always wandered to the image of Theodore leaving her. Despite knowing that she would have to experience this heartbreak eventually, her chest still hurt at this realization every time.

Blanche watched her lover eat for a few seconds. Then he noticed her staring at him and made eye contact with her, so she quickly grabbed her fork and did her best to seem like she was about to eat too. She acted like she intended to spear a piece of vegetable on it, but she actually didn't want to swallow anything. The confusing mess in her head already made her feel sick and the sight of food didn't make this more pleasant. This would have already been enough to keep her from putting anything in her mouth, but additionally, Theodore had begun to observe her carefully.

After poking around on her plate a bit, Blanche finally picked up a mushroom and stiffly moved it towards her face. She chewed very slowly and swallowed eventually, but it still made her feel like throwing up. A clink sounded from across the table and made her lift her gaze.

Theodore had put down his utensils and his mood had obviously changed. He looked serious now and stared directly into her eyes while speaking up. “Is there really not something wrong? You seem distracted, and you haven't eaten more than a small mushroom. If there is something on your mind, please tell me.”

She wouldn't be able to get him to move on without an answer. Blanche knew how stubborn her lover could be, so she needed an excuse. She set down the fork and knife extremely slowly to stall for time and met her lover's gaze. His worried look almost made her want to tell him the entire truth, even if it sounded unbelievable. But then he would only be more concerned and call the royal doctor to examine her. She couldn't risk that. Still, she wasn't comfortable lying to his face and wouldn't be able to convince him with her lacking acting skills anyway. So she should probably tell him a half-truth as she had done it with Stella. Being insecure about the future and fearing the loss of a beloved person was a reasonable cause for someone to worry. He would understand that, right?

Blanche took a deep breath before she began. “You said that I can get away with more than others because I'm your lover. And that I shouldn't think about that too much since you will protect me.”

Theodore slowly nodded while keeping his eyes on her face. “That's right. You shouldn't try to upset anyone important, but that is pretty much the only thing you can't do. You can defend yourself as much as you want to and no one will be able to blame you for that. And you can have whatever you want because I will give it to you as soon as you ask.” Of course he would say that.

The concubine bit the inside of her cheek and tried her best to keep herself from crying as she began to explain. “I know that my position gives me a lot of wonderful things. Of course I would get special treatment if I'm at your side. But I think that I should still be a little more conscious about all of this. I achieved nothing in my life but making you fall in love with me. My privileges are dependent on your love for me which means that...” She felt a lump in her throat and had to swallow before resuming. “All of this could be lost in an instant.” She had tried to speak like she was only talking about a possibility, but she had obviously seemed way too upset.

It only took a moment before Theodore's attitude changed. His eyes narrowed as his expression turned to one of rage. “Who told you that?” His icy voice cut through the otherwise silent room and made it clear that he wasn't happy about what she had said. His tone alone revealed why the people respected and feared the emperor without daring to talk back.

Even Blanche felt intimidated even though he wasn't angry at her. She quickly shook her head and hurried to answer while making a rejecting gesture with her hands. “No one told me! It just was a thought I had.” She knew how weak that excuse was. In the past, she had never voiced something like this. How would her lover know about her worries when she never told him how she feared that he would get tired of a woman that couldn't even give back half as much as she received?

It wasn't surprising that Theodore wasn't convinced by her excuse. Instead, he seemed even more upset. He grabbed both of her hands and stared into her eyes. “I don't believe that. Why would you suddenly think about nonsense like that? My love for you is unwavering. If someone offended you by telling you something stupid like what you just said, I'll-”

She interrupted him by shaking her head again, this time more vigorously. “No one did anything like that, I swear. It's just that...” She made the mistake of looking directly into her lover's eyes. In an instant, the memories of the past and the future crossed her mind and a wave of emotions crashed over her. That distracted her for a moment. She had to focus for a few seconds before she managed to find a somewhat believable excuse. “I had a dream about the future. A nightmare, to be exact.” She could feel and see that Theodore relaxed at these words, but she continued anyway.

Blanche turned her gaze towards their intertwined fingers to evade his inquiring look and tried to hold back the fear and the grief that was connected with those memories. “I dreamed that I was a villain who did terrible things to others. You noticed that and you turned away from me. Then you fell in love with another woman.” If she addressed Seraphina by name, Theodore would think that she was only being jealous again. Though this wasn't entirely false either, she wanted to avoid that discussion now. She wouldn't be able to take hearing him lie to her face about him not being interested in Seraphina.

Blanche swallowed and then continued her story. “I tried to keep you two apart but nothing helped. So I did even worse things than before. In the end, you left me. And that woman was pregnant, so I poisoned her tea. But you saved her in time and then ordered my execution.” Blanche had to force the last sentence out and her voice's volume got quieter with every word. After finishing her explanation she lifted her head to see what her lover would say now. She wanted to hear him say that he loved her and would never leave her so badly.

Theodore's face was soft now and all traces of his anger had disappeared. He gently squeezed her hands and gave her a little smile. “What a silly dream.”