After staring into the distance for a while and trying to sort out her confusing memories, Blanche focused on Theodore's face again. He still looked so vulnerable that it actually pained her. She slowly put her hands on the floor next to him and leaned down to lay her lips on top of his.

He accepted her kiss while trying to be as passive as possible, but he was too desperate for that. He tightened his hold on her waist and pressed his lips against hers.

Blanche gladly gave him as much time as she could before she needed to breathe again. Then she pulled back and smiled at him. “Let's stand up and sit on the bed. The floor is uncomfortable, isn't it?”

Theodore looked up at her with tears rolling down his face, which she quickly wiped away. “Why? Why are you forgiving me like this? I abandoned you for another woman and ordered your execution. Shouldn't you wish for my death? Or at least be a little angry? You should ask me to make it up to you by serving you my entire life. Or you should want me to feel as much pain as you did.”

Blanche caressed his face with her fingertips even while her smile faded away. “But you were in pain, weren't you? You said that you lost your will to live and suffered each day. How long did you live like that?”

He was silent for a moment before replying in a weak voice. “About two years. Then I finally got my wish.” So, he had died after all. And then he had probably woken up here in this new reality. “But even so... I still let you suffer. I deserved to feel all of that pain. How can you just accept me having hurt you that much? Why do you still want to be with me?” Even though he said things like that, he desperately leaned into her touch when she ran her fingers down his face.

Blanche had an easy answer to that question. He would even be able to answer it himself. “Theo, do you still love me?”

Theodore's eyes widened before he immediately replied in a loud voice. “Of course! I love you with every fiber of my being! More than my own life, more than this whole world. I never stopped loving you, no matter what kind of cruel things I said!” He looked like a picture of misery as he was lying there below her and voiced his tearful confession. There was no trace of the intimidating and confident emperor or the playful lover that teased her to be seen.

That hurt her soul more than remembering some of her past. Blanche leaned forward to kiss him again. When she lifted her head, she looked directly into his eyes while responding. “I love you too. That means that everything is settled, right? I won't allow that past to take you away from me again. And you always asked me to keep my love for you when you told me this secret. You asked me to forgive you. Now I am doing that. You can't tell me that you won't accept that now. I want to stay with you. If you reject my wish, I will seriously get mad.”

Theodore shook his head. “I would never leave you. I couldn't, even after I hurt you that much. I want you to stay with me. I will never do anything that hurts you again, and I will give you whatever you want. So, please...”

She had known that he would beg already. He had told her that he would do whatever he needed to do to make her forgive him for his secret in the past already. He had told her that he wouldn't be able to let go no matter what. And he had prepared to offer her everything he was to convince her to stay with him.

But she didn't need any begging.

Blanche still loved him as much as she did before. She had been in pain because of him turning to Seraphina, but hadn't that mainly been caused by her alleged crimes? If so, Seraphina was the one at fault, but for some reason, it felt like that woman had already received her punishment.

Maybe Blanche was also seeing this without thinking logically. Maybe she should be more upset about her lover not believing in her innocence. But he had told her that he still loved her. He hadn't chosen Seraphina upon learning the truth and realizing that his lover wasn't a criminal. That meant that his heart belonged to her. There was no way that she would push him away for that. In fact, she was overjoyed that he was here and wanted to be with her.

Blanche showed Theodore a bright smile. “You don't need to beg for my eternal love when you already have it. My only demand is for you to stay with me forever. I don't ever want to hear you say things that might bring up us being apart. Do you understand? If you say things like me not being supposed to forgive you, I get scared and fear that you want to push me away. But I won't allow that. So, I want you to love me as much as you did before this conversation. Our relationship shouldn't change in the slightest. I want to stay with you, and you want to stay with me. There is nothing more to it. Because all the problems that kept us apart are gone now. We don't need to keep worrying about things like that and punish ourselves. That's why I want you to stand up so that we can sit on the bed. I don't want to crush you much longer. But I assume that a lot of cuddling will be necessary now to calm you. Let us take care of that now before we talk about anything else. Come on.” She slowly sat up and pulled her lover with her, even if he probably carried most of their weight.

Theodore just stared at her with so much pain in his eyes that she could almost feel it just by looking at him.

She did her best to climb off his lap while trying to keep the distance between them as small as possible, which proved to be a good idea.

Theodore clung to her, with his arms refusing to budge even in the slightest. So, it took some maneuvering to allow them to stand up. Her lover barely managed to keep himself upright, and her knees felt weak too, thanks to the sudden and painful rush of memories. But she did her best to bring him over the few steps to the bed, on which they collapsed as soon as they reached it, as Theodore desperately kept her in his hug. She hadn't expected anything different in the first place. It would take a while to prove that she wouldn't get mad. At least a day, most likely. It would take much longer to get him to stop blaming himself though.

But Blanche was here for that. She wouldn't let her lover suffer. Even if her head was still spinning and more question marks than anything else appeared in her mind, she was in a rather calm state in comparison to Theodore. She did her best to hug him as tightly as possible while cradling his head.

While stroking over his head, she began talking to him in a gentle voice. “Everything is alright now so there is absolutely no need to worry. We'll talk about this for a bit now, and then you will see that everything is fine. After all, we are together now, and nothing will ever come between us again. So, you only need to take a deep breath and focus on getting air into your lungs now. I'm right here with you, and I won't leave. You asked me to stay with you no matter what, and I will do just that. Because I love you and being with you is my greatest happiness. I would never wish for anything aside from a future with you. You are the one that taught me what love means, and I adore you with every fiber of my being. So, you won't say anything about you not deserving it again, alright? I don't want to hear any of that. I dislike seeing you so scared, so you will have to get better for me. We'll take some time for that, and then you will notice that nothing has to change.”

Theodore held on to her as if she was the only thing keeping him anchored, which probably truly was the case here. He listened to her and just pressed his ear against her chest to listen to her heartbeat. But of course, her words didn't fix everything over the course of a minute. He was still full of despair and barely kept the last bit of composure that prevented him from falling apart right in front of her. “But I...I-”

She shushed him while caressing his head and began talking again. “You are here with me, aren't you? You are with me, and that is all I need. So, I don't want you to act like we will have to dwell on the past forever. Because that would be the last thing we should do. We need to move forward without keeping our eyes directed at things that happened in a world that isn't ours. We can gladly speak about it so that you can get it out of your system, but I want to forget about it after a while. Because you came back and made everything much better.” In hindsight, it was no wonder that the whole world had changed despite her being sure that she hadn't done that much to interact with many events. Theodore had done his best to create a better future as well. “And now we are happy together and will have a family. If we do that while having bad thoughts in the back of our minds, it won't be good for our future children.”

Her lover slowly moved his head, just enough so that he could look up at her with round eyes. “You won't be upset? Not even a little? But I-”

She cut him off with a kiss on his forehead, which made him tear up even more. “Why do you keep asking? Do you want me to be upset?”

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He shook his head. “No, but...”

Blanche cupped his chin and brought her face as close to his as her neck allowed her to. “Then don't keep trying to tell me that I should be angry. I know my feelings very well. If I was upset, I wouldn't be able to hide it. But I'm not upset. I'm just a bit confused because of the huge amount of new information, but apart from that, I'm fine. Because this is more of a proof that you love me than anything else. You chose the harder route just to make sure that I could stay by your side. You wanted me, and I couldn't be happier about anything else. The fact that you decided to tell me also means that you want us to leave that past behind, right? You trust me enough to speak about that. This is the only confirmation I need. If you insist on making up for something, stay with me from now on until all eternity.”

Theodore still showed her the same pained expression as before, and his desire to hold her didn't weaken either. He would probably keep her in his arms for the next weeks if it went on like this. “I swear that I will stay with you. I need you more than I need air. I will spend the rest of my life doing everything to make you happy. I will give you everything you want and protect you from all dangers. No one will ever hurt you again, especially not me.”

The concubine gently stroked over his face and wiped away some tears in the process. “You make me happy if you are just being happy yourself. There is no need to do anything special. I don't want you to give anything up for me. You can just be the you that you always are around me. You don't have to shower me with gifts to make up for anything either. I'm more than euphoric with you being at my side.”

Theodore nuzzled into her hold and scanned her soft smile. The tears she had wiped away were already replaced by new ones, and it didn't seem like he would stop anytime soon. He spoke up in a hoarse voice that was so quiet that she could barely understand him. “I never thought that you were greedy or didn't care for my gifts. I don't know why I was despicable enough to say that. And ever since you remembered that, you refused to accept anything I offered to you and tried to reject it unless I insisted. So, I wanted to make sure that you would have the courage to show me what you enjoy again.”

Blanche could remember that nightmare with her sitting in the cell in the cellar very well. But it seemed like that hadn't been just a dream. Once again, she was glad that her brain had blocked out most memories. Having the knowledge of the book, the five nightmares and the hallucination during the ball had been enough to wreck her. If she had known anything more than that, she might have lost her mind. It was better if the memories came back slowly. But admitting that now was probably a horrible idea.

So, she began patting her lover's head again and focused on calming him. “I only refused it because I didn't want you to believe that I was with you because of your wealth. All of my belongings are actually yours, so I didn't want to ask for more. I wanted to show you that I enjoy each and every single one of your gifts. That was a bit hard when you started presenting me with rooms that were full of jewelry. Since I returned to accepting your gifts without much thought, you can stop overdoing it, alright? I don't want to swim in valuable items while so many around us are buried in problems. So, it's really fine. Even though I love what you come up with each time. And I'm glad that my butterfly didn't break.”

She remembered looking at the destroyed item and bawling pitifully because of that. Now the clasp was safely sitting in the dressing room. That sufficed to keep her from getting upset. Her response still wasn't enough to calm Theodore though.

He looked at her with utmost sincerity. “But I will do everything for you this time. I will give you everything you could dream of. That's why I can't stop bringing you gifts. I will offer you as many butterflies as you want. I won't ever let a single one break. I won't let any disgusting man touch them again.”

Blanche vaguely remembered her broken butterfly having been used as evidence to prove that she had been in the pharmacy, where the poison that had almost been used on Seraphina had been bought. Despite her never knowingly going there, her clasp had been found at that shop by Allen Duremont, whom she had accused of breaking it and bringing it there. Seemingly, her accusation had been true. In the novel, she had just accepted that piece of evidence as convincing, but apparently, that whole trial hadn't played out as she remembered it. She wasn't sure whether she should voice that though. After all, saying that most of the bad memories were gone was good for her, but it might make Theodore believe that she wouldn't forgive him if she knew everything.

The concubine moved her head to give her lover a small kiss, which he returned with as much passion as he could. She carefully tangled her fingers in his hair and rubbed small circles on his scalp as soon as she had been forced to pull back due to the lack of air. She took a moment to breathe before she replied quietly. “I thank you for that, but I think that they should be safe. No one can just enter the emperor's chambers without them being trustworthy. And while I love butterflies, I already have two clasps and two dresses that share that motive. You can gift me something like that, but there is no need to do it. Alright? The same holds true for gifts in general. I adore you pampering me, but that doesn't require gifts. Your attention and affection are more than enough. So, please hug and kiss me very often. But don't feel like you need to do that because you are indebted to me. Do it because you love me.”

Theodore vigorously nodded. “I love you so much. I will never stop holding you and kissing you and keeping you close. You are the only thing that's keeping me sane, and I-” He cut himself off as he noticed that he was getting too loud. He closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed before looking at her with so much pain in his eyes that it almost broke her heart. “I love you. You can never doubt that this is true. I truly love you with all of my heart. That is why I will never be able to forgive myself for what happened. I hurt you so much.”

Blanche knew that he would have problems getting over that, which was why she had to use one little trick. Even if she felt a bit bad about it, it would at least bring across her message. “You don't want to make me feel bad though. If I see you suffering, I will automatically get upset too. So, for me to be happy, you need to be happy as well. That's why I want to leave this behind us. You already suffered way too much. You carried this with you for those two years you mentioned and after you gained your memories here too, right? When was that? After the attack? The one on Duke Lamont's birthday banquet?”

Her lover sniffled and seemed like he wanted to refute what she had said, but her additional question took away his chance. He had to answer it now. “Yes. I...should have died. I bled out after being stabbed, but then I woke up here. Three years in the past. That was the greatest thing that could have happened to me. When I saw you next to me, I thought that I was dreaming, but you were really there, and I...I was so happy.” He dared to take one arm away from her waist to bring his shaky hand to her cheek. “I was terrified of falling asleep and waking up there. But the gods had listened to my wish. I had memories of this world too. Of things that had never happened in that horrible past. So, those memories seemed to belong in this world, and I did too. I was allowed to stay here with you.”

The concubine's mouth felt dry as she heard that. She remembered Theodore waking up and almost crushing her with a hug as soon as he woke up right after the assassination attack. That had been the day on which he had changed completely, even while still being the same person.

After that, he had refused to work more than necessary and had spent every free minute with his lover while avoiding Seraphina. And just a few days later, he had suddenly been an excellent archer despite never having practiced much. In retrospect, she should have questioned that more.

But what bothered her more than that was the fact that he said that he had bled out. That didn't sound like a peaceful death. Blanche whispered to him while barely daring to utter the question. “You died? What happened to you?” She could guess. The unpleasantly vivid mental image of Cedar standing behind him with a bloody sword revealed it to her. That certainly had been a violent death, even when Blanche didn't remember all the details.

But Theodore's expression didn't scrunch up nor did he show any signs of reluctance to remember that as any normal person should upon being reminded of their own death. Instead, he only kept his eyes trained on her and was as worried about her as before. “I will tell you. I will tell you everything you want to know. But please explain one thing to me first. I almost died in this world before I remembered everything. What happened to you to make you wake up? When did you remember? Was that when you had your first nightmare and told me about it?”

She weakly nodded. “That was a few days after I ate the cherry cake. I don't think it was connected to the allergic reaction, but I got them there. I just woke up one day and had those things in my head. Without any evidence, I knew that everything was a fact. But...” If she was honest, she didn't even want to admit that her brain had put up defensive mechanisms because the whole truth would have crushed her. But if he ever asked anything about the past, which she didn't remember everything of, it would be hard to reply if she wasn't honest now. Her lover had been so insistent on telling her nothing the truth that it would be fair of her to repay him by doing the same. “I...think that my memories differ from yours. A bit, at least.”

Theodore wasn't surprised. Instead, he just looked sad. “I thought so. You didn't know some things you should know. You even asked me something about your alleged crimes when you should be aware that you were completely innocent. I know that you had a few nightmares in between, and those were based on the past. Is that all you remembered?” It would have been easier to just affirm that, but her lover deserved honesty.

Blanche took a deep breath while trying to make all of this sound less strange than it normally would. She was sure that she failed anyway. “I have to admit that this will not seem very...convincing. But I did remember more than the dreams. The nightmares came later, but at first, I remembered the general outline of events until I...you know. But it wasn't like I knew that it had happened. I was convinced that what I remembered had been a...novel. A book, you know? I thought that our world's future was predetermined by that book, so I got scared. That's why I acted so strangely.” Blanche averted her eyes while admitting that. She was embarrassed to explain how she had truly believed that their world played out in a novel. She still wasn't sure whether that book existed, but it might not. In reality, she had most likely just persuaded herself to believe in the novel to convince herself that she hadn't lived through all of those horrible scenes.

It was rather calming that Theodore didn't laugh at her or show her skepticism. Instead, he just encountered her with concern. “What kind of novel?”

The concubine closed her eyes for a moment until she felt his hand on her cheek. Then she was forced to look at him. She swallowed before saying what she had always hated most about the novel. “For some reason, I remembered a book called “To Be Empress”, and it was a romance novel. You were the main character, the love interest. The heroine, who is always perfect and loved by all so that she will definitely win, was... Well, you can imagine. And so that you could have your happy ending, the villainess, the vilest person among the cast that tried to keep the couple apart because of her jealousy, had to disappear from the picture first. And that was me.” Voicing that out loud made her want to cry, and she puffed out her cheeks to keep herself from doing so. She was supposed to calm Theodore and not upset him even more.

Her lover's expression revealed that even the previous information had been enough to shock him. His hold on her tightened again as he buried his face in her neck. “Why did you think that? You were never the bad one. She was. And I was too because I didn't trust you. It's my fault, not yours. I was never happy without you. Not for a single second. I missed you whether I was awake or sleeping and desperately tried to distract myself with everything else. But that never worked. I loved you the whole time, so of course, it couldn't have worked. You never did anything bad. You never deserved to be called vile or to be hurt. Everyone around you was horrible. Why did you think that you were bad?”

She didn't know that. She had never questioned the novel after all. But in retrospect, she could guess why she had believed in this odd lie. Her character had fit the role of the villainess far too well.