When Blanche arrived after rushing to the doctor's office, she took a few seconds to calm her breathing before she entered the room. “I apologize for coming a bit too late. I ran into-” She cut herself off when a pair of arms caught her in their embrace. She didn't even need to look up to recognize her lover. Still, she lifted her head to beam at him. “Theo! Weren't you preparing something for the trial? Why are you here?”
Theodore grinned at her and pulled her against her. “Obviously, I came here for your examination. As always.” That was true.
Due to the incident during Seraphina's birthday party, he had insisted on being informed about the results of every examination. Since it took unnecessarily long for the doctor to go to the emperor's office to explain everything, Theodore had just chosen to join the examinations each time. But it was surprising that he even put his work on halt for this. After all, this was just a regular check-up.
Blanche wrapped her arms around him and leaned into his hug. “I should have expected this. Even if it's absolutely not necessary for you to miss work, I'm happy to see you. If I had known that you were here, I would have hurried more. I'm sorry for being a bit late. I was downstairs and visited the cells with Clark.”
In an instant, Theodore's hold on her tightened as his whole body tensed. “The cells?” He looked down at her with a mix of terror and shock. “Why were you there?” His fingers almost dug into her arms as he kept her in place to look into her eyes.
The concubine was taken aback by that strange reaction and quickly replied. “We visited Harris while he was eating with Clark. I only asked a few questions about him working with Cedar and the dowager empress and left again. Am I not supposed to go there?”
Her lover took a moment before his hold on her loosened. “No...no, that's not it.” He gritted his teeth before cradling her head and pulling her against his chest. “You can go everywhere within our palace. I just... You don't want to see that. You don't want to accidentally run into the wrong hallways and...” She should have guessed that already.
From what she had heard, it seemed like Duke Vasquez was being treated extremely harshly, and she didn't know how far that went. She could easily be unlucky if she ran around there without being careful and found his cell or Sefare's. Of course, she didn't want to see them in general, but the prospect of seeing Claude rotting in a cell with no light and barely any food was even worse than that.
That thought alone made Blanche shiver. “I won't go there alone, don't worry. I don't have the need to visit prisoners, so it's fine. Today was an exception.”
Theodore nodded at that and pressed a kiss onto the back of her head. “That's for the better. You can go there if you really want to, but...don't go to the bad cells. You really shouldn't see that.” He sounded like he was absolutely horrified at the prospect of her going there.
Blanche assumed that this meant that Duke Vasquez was in a terrible state. She didn't need to see that, much like her lover said. “It's fine. I don't really have the wish to go there. I'll simply not do that anymore. It was the first time that I went down there, and for now, it will also be the last time. Does that make you feel better?” She reached up to pat her lover's head.
The emperor squeezed her a bit tighter. “Yes. I won't ever forbid you from doing something, but...please don't subject yourself to unnecessarily cruel scenes. I...” He paused to take a deep breath before slowly letting go of her. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that so suddenly.” He tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and gave her a little smile. “I didn't mean to scare you.”
Blanche mirrored his smile and stroked over his hair again before pulling back as well. “You didn't. I was a bit surprised, that is all. But you didn't do more than hug me. I'm happy about that, not terrified. We can cuddle more later, but for now, we need to go through with the examination.” She looked around to search for the other man in the room before greeting him.
The doctor was very much used to the couple's drawn-out greeting and had gotten comfortable on an armchair until they were done. He slowly put his newspaper away when they addressed him and stood up. “Good afternoon, Lady Blanche. I'm glad to see that you look well. Do you have any ailments?”
The concubine shook her head. “I feel good, as always.”
The doctor smiled at her. “I am happy to hear that. Then would you please sit down here?” He gestured to one of the beds, and she complied. He turned to the medical kit on the nightstand and pulled out some instruments.
Blanche already recognized them, much like she remembered each step of this meeting. The doctor always did the same tests and asked the same questions so that this examination felt like a routine. She knew what she had to reply with before he opened his mouth and knew what she had to do while he examined her. Nothing hurt or scared her, so it was unnecessary for Theodore to hold her hand, but she didn't point that out.
As usual, there was nothing special about her body. The doctor finished the examination by once again asking her countless questions about her, and she answered all of them with the exact same words as usual.
The doctor scribbled something into his notebook and only looked up when he spoke. “Have there been any irregularities? Have you felt any pain or slight discomfort?”
Blanche shook her head. “I don't think so. Nothing special. I also haven't had any strange cravings nor have I changed my nutrition in any way.” She had already answered the follow-up question, which earned her a skeptical look, but she didn't mind that much. While the doctor wrote something into his book she tried to unsuccessfully catch a glimpse of his notebook. Since she had absolutely nothing new to tell, she would have liked to know what he was scribbling into his book the whole time, but she doubted that he would ever show her.
As soon as the doctor noticed her attempts, he turned the book away and looked like he fought the urge to smile. “Then I assume that you have also continued to take walks in the garden?”
Blanche would have had to deny that a while ago, but thanks to her lover, who insisted on dragging her out after they finished their work, she went out more often again. “Yes. We go into the garden once every day unless there is something special going on. But normally, I walk around for at least half an hour.” That she cuddled with Theodore during the whole process mattered little as long as she moved around a bit.
The doctor affirmed that with a nod. “Good.” He wrote something into his book again. “Have you had your period regularly?”
The concubine had already known that this question would follow, so she replied without skipping a beat. “Yes.” They would be done soon, and then she could finally go into the office with her lover and help him finish the tasks he had delayed to come here, so she was already focused on leaving as soon as possible. She watched how the doctor wrote something until a whisper made her turn her head.
Stella had previously kept her distance from the bed but had now come closer to bring her face to her mistress' ear. “Actually, My Lady... Last month, you didn't have it. Your period, I mean.”
That comment almost made it feel like time had stopped.
Blanche froze as she tried to remember that last time, but she actually couldn't. A few weeks had definitely passed. She almost didn't dare to ask. “Are you sure?”
The maid nodded. “Nothing happened for the past month. I think the last time was sometime before the ball at the Vasquez mansion. I can ask Darlene and Angelica to be sure, but I'm rather certain.”
The concubine barely heard the rest. She was already frozen in place as she tried to calm herself. This didn't mean much. She could have just skipped her period once. There was no guarantee that there was a special reason for this. She swallowed and took a deep breath.
But even if she was silent, Theodore immediately noticed. “What's wrong? What did your maid say?”
Blanche chewed on the inside of her cheek before breathing in and out. “We think that... I didn't have my period last time. That doesn't have to...mean anything, but...” Her heart was pounding so loudly that she could barely hear her own voice. She could only look at her lover while tightly holding onto his hand. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a coincidence.
But she didn't dare to hope. This had been a one-time occurrence, and if she got excited now only to be disappointed later, she would cry. But to be honest, she felt like crying already.
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Theodore stared at her with wide eyes while returning her grip as tightly as she held him. “Are you certain? You didn't just forget it?”
She shook her head. “Stella and I don't remember it. I don't think that we both would have... We can ask Angelica and Darlene, but...” She didn't want to be wrong. She wanted this to be true, and she wanted her period to stay away for the next months too. Then she could possibly begin to hope. Tears formed in her eyes as she sat up to move toward her lover. “Theo. Do you think...” She didn't dare to voice that question.
Theodore had already understood. He sat down on the bed next to her and pulled her into his arms. “Maybe... We can't know.” His voice was weak as he spoke to her so that she could barely hear him even though he was directly next to her. “But it would definitely be possible, right? It wouldn't be surprising if we...” Ever since the summer vacation, they had spent more nights together than ever before. They had shared a room and a bed, so that had been the logical result. It wouldn't be odd if something had happened after two years of them being together.
A lump formed in Blanche's throat. Maybe her prayers had finally been answered after two years of hoping. Maybe this world didn't just brand her as the villainess and took away her right to feel happy. She scanned her lover's expression while giving her best to fight the urge to start sobbing. “Theo... Maybe we're finally...becoming...” She couldn't finish that sentence either. The fear of being wrong and feeling the bitter disappointment afterward was too big. She already had to blink to wipe away the tears that blurred her sight.
At least Theodore was crying too. He tried to hold back as well, but his glassy eyes said enough. He held his lover in a tight embrace while whispering to her. “I would be overjoyed if the gods blessed us with a child. But...you're rather young, and we're in the middle of a political war. Do you want to have children already? Even if we have a lot of time left?”
Blanche couldn't do anything but nod. Of course, she did. She had been waiting for something like this ever since she and Theodore had first discussed this topic and decided that they both wanted children. If she was really pregnant, she wouldn't be able to contain her joy, no matter how unfitting this moment might be. She wasn't crowned empress yet, and the struggle with the dowager empress and the prince posed more problems than they had solutions for. It was dangerous to raise a child like this. They needed to get rid of their enemies soon if they wanted to prepare to have a child.
The concubine forced herself to push that thought away at the moment that it appeared in her head. She couldn't assume that she was pregnant yet. She needed to be certain before thinking about it more.
Theodore seemed to be as speechless as she was. He just held her and brought his hands to her face to make her look at him. He gently put his lips on top of hers while pulling her as close to him as possible. Their kiss lasted for a few seconds, but it was as sweet as one that lasted for minutes. When he pulled back, he stoked over her cheek and looked into her eyes in a way that made him seem much more vulnerable than normal. “I will do everything in my power to protect our family. When we have a child, now or in a few years, I will ensure that you and our baby can become happy no matter what happens around us. And we don't need to pressure ourselves. Even if it doesn't happen now, it will happen later. But...if this really is our moment...” Tears were rolling down his face, but he still managed to be much less shaky than she was.
Blanche wanted to say so much about this, but she already couldn't talk anymore. She could barely bring herself to look at the doctor while trying her best to keep herself from crying by digging her fingers into her lover's clothes. She attempted to repeat the important information to the man, but she failed miserably.
Theodore had to speak for her. “She...hasn't had her period last month.”
The doctor didn't look surprised. He had probably already expected that after the couple's exchange in front of him. He probably also knew that he wouldn't get any answers from the people that were barely holding themselves together and turned to Stella. “How long has it been?”
The maid paused for a short moment before replying. “It hasn't been that long, but I would say that it's been about six or seven weeks.”
The doctor immediately added another question. “Did Lady Blanche already miss her period without a special reason in the past, or has it always come regularly?”
Stella answered quicker this time. “I have been with her for over two years, and this is the first time. There have been some slight differences in the duration each time, but there has never been such a big gap.”
“Have there been any other changes? Has she acted differently, or has she shown any signs of morning sickness and the like?”
The maid shook her head. “There was nothing special. She had no issues finishing breakfast, and the amount of food stayed about the same too.”
The doctor flipped another page and scribbled something into his notebook. This time, he took a moment and wrote down more than usual. When he lifted his head already, he showed the concubine a gentle smile. “I believe that I do not need to ask whether a pregnancy would be possible. Please rest assured that we will take care of anything that the future may bring. We cannot be certain whether you are indeed pregnant at the moment. We will need to wait at least two more months, and then I should be able to confirm it. But we should assume that the possibility exists. That means that you have to be extremely careful. I would recommend avoiding anything that could harm a baby, like alcohol and excessive stress.”
Blanche nodded at everything he said. She definitely wouldn't do anything that could cause problems to her health. She would rather take the safest way until she was completely sure. Now she couldn't keep her tears from falling anymore, and even if Theodore wiped them away, new ones followed immediately.
The doctor was quiet for a moment and rubbed over his glasses before speaking up again. “There is no need for you to worry about anything. You will not be alone on the way. My assistants and I will do my best to ensure that everything goes smoothly. From now on, I would ask you to visit once a week so that we can notice every slight change immediately. Please trust us.” He bowed his head to them, but that might have just been an attempt to make the concubine feel safer.
Blanche gave her best to reply, but she could only respond in a barely audible voice. “I do. Thank you.” It was obvious that the royal doctor was the best choice when it came to any medical knowledge. He certainly knew how to deal with a pregnancy too, and if she had to entrust anyone with this matter, it would be him.
Still, she was terrified.
If she was carrying a child, she couldn't take any risks. She would never dream about doing anything that could even remotely endanger a baby. But she doubted that she had to worry about that much when her lover was by her side. She could already see the gears in his head turning and guessed what would follow. Blanche wouldn't take any risks, but he would be much more cautious than she was.
Theodore scanned the doctor with a serious expression before speaking up. “There is a book about pregnancies in the library. I will ask a servant to bring it to you, and I request that you read it. There is another one about special illnesses and ailments that could endanger a child and one about poisons that could harm a pregnant woman. I want you to read all of them. I do not doubt your medical knowledge, but I won't allow the slightest risk. That's why I would also like to ask you to work together with your assistants as much as possible. One of them specialized in helping women that give birth, right? I want her to be involved in most examinations.”
The doctor seemed a bit surprised at that. “Your Majesty knows about that? I should have expected that you would be aware of my assistants' background, but I am impressed that...” He cut himself off when he made eye contact with the emperor. “I will definitely follow each of your orders. It is in my interest to learn as much about this matter as possible if we are really going to prepare for the birth of a royal prince or a princess. Please leave it to me. You can give me as many books as you wish, and I would even consider speaking to other professionals. Of course, we would do that as soon as we can assume that this is not just a one-time occurrence. If Lady Blanche misses her next period too, we can prepare.”
Theodore nodded before replying with a slight frown on his face. “I have a few things that I want you to pay attention to. I will write you a list. From now on, this is the greatest priority, and we will come to visit you once...no...twice a week. I will consult the chefs so that they can prepare as much healthy food as possible and refrain from bringing anything harmful.” He stared into the distance as he got lost in thoughts. “We won't allow anyone but our most trusted people near our child. I refuse to hire an outsider.”
Blanche opened her mouth and closed it again when her lover continued rambling. He definitely shouldn't spread the news now. They weren't even sure whether she was pregnant yet, and still, it seemed like everyone was already in turmoil. Especially Theodore acted like they had to prepare for the biggest catastrophe imaginable. Usually, pregnancies went well. Even if she was happy about taking as many security measures as possible, she didn't want everyone around her to think that she was pregnant when that wasn't true. “Theo...”
Her lover immediately snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her. “Yes? What is it?” He took her hands in his and gently stroked over her fingers.
Blanche squeezed his hands and stalled for some time before slowly speaking up. “Don't tell anyone yet. We don't know for sure. I really want it to be true, but...” If it wasn't, her heart would get crushed.
Theodore let go of her hands to cup her cheeks. “Don't forget what I said. If it doesn't happen now, it will happen later. There is no need to worry about it. The gods love you, so they will definitely bless you with a child. There are so many bad people that were lucky, so an angel like you will have a chance too. Believe me.”
She didn't know why he sounded so confident. He theoretically didn't have a way to know this for sure. To her, it always seemed like the gods didn't like her very much because of all the horrible things that had happened and because of the awful future that she had seen. But right now, it looked like she might not be hated as much as she had thought. Blanche hadn't wanted to say anything, but her voice almost came out on its own. “I was sure that they despised me. The gods, I mean. Because I wasn't religious or because I was the villain. I don't know. But we can finally have our happy end, right?” The tears came back with full force now, and she fell forward into her lover's arms.
Theodore caught her and pressed her against his chest while putting a hand on the backside of her head. “You aren't the bad one, and you never were. That's why we are here now. We will have our happy end. I won't let anyone keep us from reaching our happiness together.” He sounded like he was barely able to speak and could just force himself to bring that out because he needed to say it. He clung to her and didn't seem like he would let go of her anytime soon.
Blanche was fine with that. She needed to be in his embrace now and leaned against him. Slowly, a wide smile spread on his face despite her tears. She forced herself to look up to beam at him.
Her lover's face was covered in tears too. He managed to smile as well when she made eye contact before he leaned down to kiss her. This time, they stayed together for a while and intertwined their fingers before stopping. Theodore rested his forehead against hers and began whispering. “I'll make sure that everything goes right. I know what we need to look out for. I will get rid of anyone that could hurt our future children. There are enough people that we can depend on, and I will only pick the most trustworthy out of them. Our child will never have to go through what I experienced. I learned from my father's and my mistakes. I will create the perfect future for us. Just give me a bit of time, and every single obstacle on our way will cease to be. I love you.”
Blanche hadn't intended to kiss him again, but she couldn't hold back. She put her lips on top of his and allowed herself to melt for a moment. When she pulled back, she grinned at him. “I love you too. That's why we will stay together forever.”
Her lover immediately replied. “Yes. I swear that on my life. I will always protect you and your happiness as well as our whole family. No one will ever hurt you and our children.”
Blanche couldn't hold back a small giggle at that. Theodore was already very protective of her without anything special going on. It could only get worse from now on. Hopefully, he would still allow her to walk around if she reached the later months of her pregnancy.
By now, she was sure that she would receive a second guard. And she didn't mind too much. If she was carrying a child, two people would need to be protected after all.
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Blanche didn't want to celebrate yet as they couldn't be sure that they would really have a child. Theodore still insisted on eating salmon with her for lunch and offering her a citrus cake with blueberries. She had to admit that she was rather happy about that and gladly accepted.
Aside from that, they didn't do much, but when they went to bed, she allowed herself to pray for a moment. She truly wanted to have a child with Theodore. And maybe she would even be granted that wish.
It took a while before she could fall asleep that day.