Theodore seemed to be so certain that everything would be fine. Would it though?
“If I get pregnant, what are going to do?” Blanche took her lover's hand between hers and squeezed it tightly.
The question bewildered Theodore, and his frown revealed that he hadn't understood her intention yet. “What do you mean?”
If Theodore couldn't admit that he was in a romantic relationship with Blanche without offending the empress and her family, he naturally couldn't announce that he was the father of her children either. Even if every single noble would be aware of the truth, the children wouldn't count as his unless he openly stated that they were. Consequently, they wouldn't be recognized as a prince or princess and thus wouldn't be royalty. They would receive the rank of a baron or a baroness from their mother if the emperor permitted it but would never qualify to be an heir to the throne.
But as the ruler of Artias, Theodore needed to have an heir that would secure the nation's well-being. If he didn't have one, his closest relative would be the next one in line to the throne. This was his younger brother, the second prince, and Theodore definitely didn't want that person to be his successor.
The only way to prevent that was fathering a child and naming it as the future emperor or empress. But since that wasn't possible with his concubine, he would have no choice but to have a child with his wife. The novel ended with Seraphina being pregnant, so Theodore would have an heir if everything followed the original story.
But even though it was selfish, Blanche couldn't bear the thought of that. It was necessary for him to have a successor, but how should she accept that he had to sleep with the heroine for that? Yet, putting all of this into words was impossible when her emotions were keeping her from speaking properly. Blanche barely managed to finish one sentence in a quiet voice. “Even if we have a child, it can't be recognized as your heir, right?”
Her lover paused at her question. He took a short moment before responding. “That is...something we will have to deal with in a couple of years too. But it's still too early for that.” The uncertainty was seeping out of his words. It sounded like he was aware of the issue as well and simply avoided thinking about it by pushing it into the far future.
She understood that this was the more comfortable option in comparison to pondering about the dilemma daily. Nevertheless, it wouldn't help them one bit. A part of her had hoped that he might have a solution, but he was just as lost as she was. The dejection had to have shown on her face, which made Theodore grab both of her hands.
He pressed small kisses onto her wrists before meeting her gaze. “Still, I can promise you already that you and our children will be safe and live a carefree life no matter what may happen. I will make sure of that. And I will never love or desire anyone but you.” The look in his eyes left no doubt that he truly meant what he had said.
And for a moment, Blanche forgot about the future that the novel had predicted, and believed him.
Theodore was always trying his best to give her the protection and affection she desired without knowing that the greatest danger was what he chose to do. He could do the most damage to her sanity by leaving her and seal her fate by ordering her execution. But until this day, there hadn't been a single situation in which he had hurt her purposefully.
Even though he was the most powerful man in the country, he never forced her to do anything she didn't want to, even during her tantrums. From their first meeting on, he had repeated that she was free to set boundaries and pointed out that their titles didn't play any role in their relationship. Theodore had always put so much effort into assuring that he wouldn't make any decisions for her and kept his calm even during unpleasant moments, even if it had been hard on him.
While he paid close attention to what was best for her in every one of his decisions, Blanche had just been doing whatever came to her mind in the past. Even now, after gaining the novel's memories, she hadn't thought about acting without an impulse to alter his future for the better. Her mind had been occupied with plans to secure her own survival and possibly keeping him from beginning to hate her. But after all the time she had spent with him and this conservation, she didn't believe that would need to fear his grudge if she didn't become a despicable person.
As long as Blanche managed to cut off all contact with Marquess Sefare and his intrigues and didn't try to harm the heroine, Theodore wouldn't resent her. His love for her might fade, but he wouldn't turn against her.
Unless, of course, the novel somehow overwrote this reality and forced the characters to act like their original counterparts, or Theodore found out about her background. Just minutes ago, he had expressed his attitude towards traitors, and if he realized that a follower of his mother had brought Blanche into the palace, all of his trust would disappear in an instant. He might even throw his lover out of the palace then. After all, keeping a potential danger next to him risked him getting hurt.
Blanche froze upon thinking about that. Until now, she had only concerned herself with protecting her own life because the book promised a happy ending to the main characters. However, if she was able to change the story to save her life, wouldn't it be possible for Theodore to be hurt in the process too? Before today, she had never considered that this might happen, and the thought was enough to make her panic.
She couldn't just stand by while her lover became the target of some power-hungry noblemen with no morals. But at the same time, she wasn't in a position from which she could get rid of his enemies. She had no authority over the palace guards or anyone else who could fight, and attacking influential noble households without decisive evidence would only lead to her being put on trial. So, she couldn't act on her own to eliminate these threats.
But maybe that wasn't necessary at all.
These vile people didn't have to be gone to not pose a danger to the emperor anymore. Theodore was a very cautious person, so one little hint was sufficient to make him keep his guard up. He already knew that the Vasquez family was backing his brother and didn't trust them, but if Blanche reminded him that they were actively plotting against him, he would be even more careful. That would be enough for him to increase the number of defensive measures and lower the chances that his enemies actually managed to get close to him.
“Blanche?” Apparently, she had been silent for too long, and that had unsettled Theodore again since he called out to her.
Quickly, she squeezed his hands, which were still holding hers, and replied. “Thank you for always protecting me. As long as you are by my side, I know that I will be fine.”
“Naturally, you will. That is the one thing my position is good for. I can give you everything you want and keep you safe.” By pure coincidence, he had given her the perfect foundation to bring up her concern.
She met his eyes and tightened her grasp on him. “But being the emperor is also connected to a great risk. I worry more about you a lot more than about myself.”
Theodore's face lit up with a soothing smile. “You shouldn't. The palace has an incredible defense system, so no one can come inside unnoticed.” Knowing that this wasn't the truth would probably make him build another wall around the estate and double the number of knights. And even that wouldn't prevent greedy people from striving for power and destroying anyone they considered an enemy by using underhanded schemes and manipulation. Those people might be an even greater danger than someone who directly attacked the palace with an army.
Blanche scanned her lover's expression while she responded in a low voice. “The palace is safe. I know, but...that isn't exactly what I was talking about.”
Her short answer had the desired effect on Theodore. His smile faded and left a frown behind as he moved closer to her to listen carefully. “Do you have something specific in mind? Please don't hesitate to tell me when something seems strange to you. It's better to be overly careful than to ignore possible dangers.”
Now that she was sure that she had his undivided attention, she took a deep breath before describing the events of the tea party in slightly revised narration. “There is something that stroke me as odd. During the empress' party, Selena Vasquez sat next to me, and the whole time, she gave off an unpleasant feeling. I didn't talk to her much, but she insisted on accompanying me on a small walk later. Then she said some confusing things. She mentioned that your marriage wasn't really stable because of me and asked who would become the next ruler since you have no heirs. I responded that I didn't know, and she just smiled but in a way that unsettled me a little.”
Theodore's eyes narrowed more with every one of her words. Nonetheless, he didn't interrupt her.
“Then she moved on to speak about Duke Vasquez and Marquess Sefare, who seems to be a good friend of their family. She didn't say something about hurting you at all, still, I don't trust her. I can't give you any reasons why, but she is scaring me. Her husband too. At the last ball, he just addressed me once, and a shiver ran down my spine. It's unreasonable, I know, but I feel like they are more dangerous than we think. Please be careful around them and their acquaintances too, especially this Sefare.” Due to her lover's attentive personality, Blanche didn't doubt that he would listen to her warning, though it wouldn't have surprised her if he had questioned her more about what happened.
But Theodore didn't. For a moment, he just stared at her before fixating his gaze on the wall. It took a minute or so until he opened his mouth. “Thank you for telling me that... You don't need to fear them since I will protect you, but you should avoid interacting with them as much as possible. These people are unpredictable. They aren't on our side, and they definitely aren't our friends, no matter how kind they pretend to be.” The seriousness of his face was also reflected in his voice, which caught Blanche off guard.
She rarely saw him with such a grim expression. When he was with her, he beamed. In public, he put on a polite smile or his authoritative face, sometimes he got angry at the ministers or servants. But there weren't many cases in which he was this wary. It seemed like he had known that the Vasquez family and Sefare weren't only opposing him verbally, so bringing this to his attention had been unnecessary. Still, she was glad to have done that. As he had said earlier, she would rather be prepared for all eventualities than be hit by an attack out of the blue. Reminding him of his enemies once more could never be a mistake.
Blanche responded in a soft voice. “I will keep that in mind. Though I doubt that I would become their goal.”
For a short moment, Theodore shuddered, but within a couple of seconds, he regained control over his body. He looked back at her and let go of her hands to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Some people would stoop low enough to threaten those I love to affect me. You would be the first choice for barbarians like that. But I won't let anyone harm you.” His expression softened after he finished talking. He remained quiet for a bit and then continued. “I assume that you don't want to leave the room to eat dinner?”
It was obvious that this was an attempt to change the subject, and still, Blanche complied. Now that she knew that he was aware of the gravity of the intrigues surrounding the royal family, she was content. She nodded at her lover, which encouraged him to stand up after kissing her forehead.
“Then I will ask for the food to be delivered here. I'm also going to make someone inform your maid that you'll spend the night here. If that is alright with you, of course.”
She nodded again. Reconciling with Theodore had been relieving but also exhausting, and she felt more comfortable not having to walk through the corridors and not meeting all the gawking servants. Surely, the hallways would be full of rumors already, and that would make going out more unpleasant.
At that thought, Blanche grimaced. “Everyone in the palace knows that something happened, right?” Anyone who hadn't heard the emperor's screams probably had been enlightened by one of their gossipy colleagues.
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Theodore let out a sigh as he approached the entrance. “It can't be helped. This palace is full of nosy people that are bored with their own lives. I'll take care of that quickly and come back directly after that.”
She gave him a small nod. “Alright.”
Her lover opened the door and was greeted by Owen, who stood directly in front of the room. The men exchanged a few words that were inaudible to Blanche before Theodore turned to the side to address a second person, who seemed to have waited by the entrance. “You can go talk to her until I come back.” After he said that, he turned around to smile at his concubine shortly and then left the room.
Seconds after he did, Stella stormed inside and rushed to the bed. “Is everything alright? You suddenly ran away, and...and His Majesty was yelling. I didn't know what happened, and then that minister got into a fight with His Majesty, and you disappeared into this room. I followed you, but I couldn't enter without permission! I was so worried that I didn't even-” The maid was beside herself with agitation and stumbled on her words that continued to flow out of her mouth without a break. She only stopped when the air in her lungs was used up and she had to breathe, which caused her to stop in the middle of the sentence.
Blanche felt a smile creep onto her lips upon seeing that the servant was this protective, but it quickly died down.
Stella didn't simply seem a little distressed, she looked like she was about to cry. The maid plopped down onto the mattress and dug her fingers into the blanket, which only proved that she was panicking.
Hurriedly, Blanche waved her hands around in the air. “No, no. Please don't get sad. You can calm down, I'm fine now. Thank you for worrying about me, but you don't have to. It was just a misunderstanding.”
The shaking servant looked up with gritted teeth. “What kind of misunderstanding would make you break down like that? It was that woman's fault, wasn't it?” Stella's normally soft voice sounded unusually hostile towards the person whom she suspected of being responsible for the incident. Aside from Blanche, only Seraphina had been involved in the discussion in the office. But the maid certainly wouldn't dare to speak so disrespectfully about the empress, right?
“Who are you talking about?”
The wrinkles on Stella's forehead deepened even more. She replied immediately. “The empress! She came out of the room right after you and His Majesty. She bullied you, didn't she?” This remark was more than bewildering when it came from the servant who would become the heroine's close confidant later in the novel. But even if that hadn't happened in this reality, Stella was always careful to address the royal couple by their correct title. What had caused her to be so angry now?
Blanche glanced back at the door, which had fortunately been closed. Talking about the empress like this could cause big trouble for the maid, so it was relieving to see that no one could have heard it. Quickly, the concubine refuted the guess. “No, no! She didn't do anything.” That wasn't entirely true since Seraphina had treated her unfairly at the tea party, but if she admitted that now, Stella would only get even more upset.
But naturally, the short response didn't satisfy Stella's need for an explanation. “If she didn't offend you, what happened?” She looked at her mistress with round eyes.
The concubine opened her mouth before closing it again. She did want to tell the truth, however, right now the timing was unfitting. The maid was too enraged to listen properly and judge objectively. Besides, Blanche had become tired from talking and thinking about everything that burdened her. Going through all the problematic topics that could possibly ruin her life didn't leave her unaffected after all. So, she decided to be honest. “I would like to explain that tomorrow. I'm pretty tired, and this might take a while, which means that we won't be able to finish before Theodore comes back. But I can assure you that he and I had an extremely long conversation and talked about every single issue. Everything between us is fine now.”
Stella visibly relaxed at these words, though a part of her dismay remained. She let go of the blanket but didn't get up yet. “Alright. But are you really feeling better now? Your eyes are still puffy.”
Blanche let out an amused huff and moved the cushion onto her lap to rest her elbows on it. “It would be strange if they weren't. I did cry a lot today. But I do that every time a mild inconvenience comes up, so my body should be used to it.”
That response didn't raise the maid's spirits. Stella's face darkened again, though it wasn't because of anger but concern. “I saw you when you came out of the office. That was enough to show me that this wasn't just about a triviality.”
Blanche had been aware of that herself. Even in comparison to thousands of other times that she had sobbed, this was one of the worst incidents. All her whining had become significantly more meaningful after the novel gave her a real reason to cry. “I must have looked pretty distressed, haven't I?”
“You looked devastated. Like your whole world had come crashing down around you in that very moment.”
As usual, Blanche's face seemed to have been a mirror of her soul. Anyone watching her would have realized that she had had some kind of fight with the emperor, and his yelling hadn't made that any more inconspicuous. While she fled from the office, her attention hadn't been directed at her surroundings at all, so she didn't even know how many people had seen her in that state, which worried her a little. “Were there many spectators? I probably wasn't lucky enough to not have run into anyone on my way.”
Stella was quiet for a short moment, in which she fiddled with her hands, before she answered the question. “There were a lot of people who noticed. We passed numerous servants and knights. Naturally, all of them had their eyes on His Majesty and you. And even those who weren't present will have realized what happened at this point. The whole palace must have heard His Majesty calling your name.”
Blanche covered her face with her hand and sighed. Of course the hallways couldn't have been empty when she went through them. She hadn't expected them to be, but the maid's choice of words made it seem like there had been more people there than normal. Theodore had to be embarrassed about appearing in front of the staff without his typical stoic authority. She considered apologizing for that later but replied to her maid first. “Well, we can't do anything about that now. I'm sure the rumors have been spiraling out of control since the very moment I left the office. Did you hear some already?”
Instantly, Stella's anger returned. She narrowed her eyes and gazed at the still-closed door before speaking with bitterness in her voice. “When Her Majesty came out after you had run away, she went to one of her maids, who had waited in front of the room. That maid barely looked at you and then asked whether you were ‘throwing a tantrum again’. She doesn't have the slightest clue about the situation you were in and thinks that she can judge you anyway. If she had watched you for more than a lousy second, she would have realized how terrible you really felt. People like that are the worst!”
Actually, it wasn't unreasonable for that maid to assume that Blanche was an awful person. Seraphina's attendants were the people who had to deal with the concubine's explosive temper in most cases. Whenever the empress and Blanche had had a conflict, the servants had been present and experienced Blanche's outbreaks from close proximity. It would have been strange if they didn't think of her to be vicious.
The concubine said just that too. “She isn't wrong about that entirely. I did overreact today. I still have to apologize to Theo for that.”
As if he had waited for his cue, a knock sounded. Then the emperor opened the door and entered the room.
Immediately, Stella jumped to her feet and stepped to the side to clear the path for him.
Theodore stood next to the bed while alternating between looking at the women before addressing his lover. “Did you tell her that you will sleep here already?”
Blanche had completely forgotten to do that. She let out a small noise of realization and turned to her maid. “I'm going to spend the night here, so you have the rest of the day for yourself. It would be nice if you could pick me up tomorrow morning.”
“Of course, My Lady. Sleep well.” Stella bowed before leaving the room and closing the door behind her.
Theodore commented on that as soon as they were alone. “You're awfully polite when talking to your maid. You don't have to ask her whether she is ready to follow your commands. It's her task to do as you say.” He removed the jacket of his uniform and hung it on the rack by the door. After that, he climbed onto the mattress next to his lover.
“I know, but that doesn't mean that being friendly is harmful. We get along very well, so it seems like she is content with being treated like this.” Blanche replied with a slight teasing undertone in her voice, but the emperor was serious when he responded.
“I don't believe that this is the case here since I saw how worried she was about you, however, there are cases in which servants lose their respect for their masters when they are addressed with too much kindness. Even if you are friends, she shouldn't forget that she still serves you. It's not exactly the same, but for example, the empress' maids are thinking too highly of themselves because they are under her protection. I have heard multiple testimonies about them saying things they shouldn't. Unfortunately, they haven't done so in front of me, so I can't punish them yet. I'm just waiting for one of them to mess up.”
Blanche scanned his expression for a moment. “It's unlike you to wish for someone to do something wrong so that you can punish them. They have the right to speak freely as long as they aren't insulting you or the empress, right?”
It wasn't likely that those maids did that. Judging by the many conversations between Seraphina and her attendants had had, the maids were very fond of the royal couple. They might criticize Theodore's lack of reflection when it came to his lover's faults, but all in all, they believed him to be a competent ruler. Their words directed at the concubine, on the other hand, had always been less friendly. Was Theodore talking about that? Blanche couldn't imagine him getting so defensive about another topic.
Theodore didn't specify whether she was right though. “There is...a specific line that they shouldn't cross, and I feel like it's necessary to remind them of that sometimes.”
Blanche didn't have anything to add to that. Instead, she needed to address another topic. She remembered the conversation she had had with Stella just now and felt the need to deal with it before she forgot again. “I see.” She paused for a little moment before resuming. “Uhm... This has nothing to do with this subject, but I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have stormed off without listening to you. I overreacted. Because of that, you lost your composure in public, and you never do that. Everyone who saw it will definitely run their mouths about us now. I should have pulled myself together until we were alone and shouldn't have made guesses about your intentions. I'm sorry.”
Even while she talked, Theodore began to frown, and the wrinkles on his forehead only deepened when she finished. “Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I was the one who should have explained myself better. Expressing your emotions isn't overreacting, especially since this was obviously so important to you. We're only humans, so it's normal for us to cry when we are sad. That's why it doesn't bother me that the servants saw me like that. As long as I return to my calm state quickly, it won't make them question my authority.”
“I know, but I cry way too often. Whenever something bothers me, the tears come before I can try to hold them back. It's annoying even to me. Especially since the empress always keeps her composure no matter what. When she gets angry, others don't seem to notice.” Blanche did, but apparently, Seraphina's expression was unreadable to everyone else.
The emperor narrowed his eyes at the mention of his wife. “And you think that that's desirable? To me, it's rather frustrating. When I argue with her and continuously get angrier, her face looks like it's made out of stone, which upsets me even more. Being able to hide your emotions like that is intimidating.”
The concubine paused for a short moment before replying. “But you do that too. Whenever you are in public, you put on a stoic mask that only budges when you give someone a polite smile.”
“That might be true, but I can remove that mask while the empress seems to be unable to do so. Whenever she looks at me, I feel like she just sees me as the emperor and not as a human being. And when you fight with her, it's almost like she begins picking apart your facade while figuring out what exactly she can say to...” Theodore stopped himself when he noticed what he was saying. He quickly forced himself to be a bit more polite again. “In any case, I hate that stoic face. To me, it almost seems like she is so focused on being perfect that she forgets her own emotions in the process.”
That wasn't actually the case. Seraphina had no problems with revealing how she felt around the people she loved and put her faith in. This included her parents and sibling, as well as Theodore in the later parts of the novel. It wasn't like she was always veiling her emotions, she only did that when she faced those she distrusted.
Since the empress had more than enough reasons to keep her guard up around Blanche, her face remained almost motionless in front of the other woman. But the concubine could still read the empress quite well by now, which was rather helpful. Maybe that would give Blanche a clue on how to act in the case that the heroine insisted on causing the villainess' downfall.
A knock interrupted Blanche's thought process, and she looked up to see that Theodore was observing her closely.
He gently stroked over her cheek once before speaking. “I don't believe that you are overreacting, but I'm pretty sure that you tend to overthink often. You try to find out what everyone really wants to say when there wasn't a hidden meaning in their words at all. You agonize about trivialities and blame yourself for things that either weren't your fault or not that much of a problem. But you actually don't need to do that.”
He was correct about Blanche's thoughts taking a life on their own, but in her current position, she couldn't just ignore the dangers she would have to face in the near future. She didn't say that though.
“Maybe you're right.” Blanche was silent after this, and Theodore used that time to allow the person that had knocked to enter.
Two servants with carts came in and began quietly setting the table by the window front.
The emperor ignored them for the most part and only thanked them when they were finished. As soon as they left, he rose from the bed. He stretched out his hand to help Blanche onto her feet and lead her to her chair, on which she sat down. He moved his seat next to her and sat down as well. A smile spread on his lips as he lifted one of the covers to reveal the cake that she had made hours ago. “Your maid slipped this into Owen's hand in panic when I allowed her to come inside to meet you. You get better every time you bake. This looks like a confectioner could have prepared it.”
The compliment made her heart flutter and painted a grin onto her face. “Thank you. I didn't do it on my own though. Angelica, one of the maids I talked to often in the last weeks, cut it for me since none of the people in the kitchen seem to trust me with a knife.”
Theodore let out a quiet chuckle. “It's better like this. I don't want you to hurt yourself, and seeing you fiddle with the utensils while eating already scares me enough.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Sometimes.” He laughed as she looked down to observe how exactly she was holding her knife. “As long as you only cut the food on your plate, it should be fine, but you should let the servants handle the tasks that require a more steady hand.”
Blanche was barely able to hide her grin as she faked a pout. “I'm not that useless. And maybe I'd be better if you let me use knives more often so that I can learn how to do that without hurting myself.”
Theodore stopped stirring the tea in his cup to show her how his teasing smile widened. “I'm not sure whether that would help. We shouldn't risk it.”
To many other people, joking around directly after discussing such important and heavyhearted topics might have seemed inappropriate or like a distraction. But Blanche was very happy to have returned to the usual tranquility. Otherwise, she might have feared that this conversation had changed their relationship for the worse, and that was the last thing she wanted. No matter whether she would truly lose Theodore or could prevent this, she didn't want him to be on edge in her presence. Ironic comments and playful banter were exactly what she needed right now.
Luckily, Theodore seemed to feel similarly. During the whole meal, he continued to jest and bring up random subjects about last week's occurrences in the palace and his work or complimented her baking skills. It helped them with getting all the problems off their minds, and still, it didn't erase those issues all of a sudden.
This became noticeable when the couple went to bed and said goodnight in each other's arms. Their hold on one another was a little tighter than normal, almost as if they feared letting go for even a short moment.