The description he was giving sounded oddly familiar, even when Blanche knew that she should have been dead during the time of that incident.
Theodore barely managed to force himself to forget his anger to continue his story. “That day, when I saw you standing on my balcony at night, I finally learned that you were real for sure. You tried to speak despite your neck bleeding and pointed at the balcony until I finally looked. And then I saw a group of assassins that had sneaked in to kill me. I obviously could have never known about that on my own, so I finally understood that you were truly there by my side.” He barely dared to let go of her with one arm but did it to stroke over her cheek.
Blanche swallowed as images of that scene appeared in her mind. “I...remember that.” It wasn't an illusion. She had clearly dreamed about seeing Theodore while she was in some sort of transparent form that couldn't touch anything. And she had warned him about the attack.
Her lover showed her the saddest smile she could imagine. “I know... You were conscious the whole time. Which meant that I just had more chances to hurt you even after that. Knowing that you could be watching every single one of my actions made me feel ashamed, and I tried to avoid doing anything that could upset you. I refused to meet that woman completely for a while and spent as much time at your grave, in the pavilion or in your room as possible. The whole time, everything hurt because I just wanted to hold you in my arms but couldn't because of my error. But do you know what the worst thing was? The fact that you had saved me. I had thought that your ghost hated me for sure and that you were paying me back for what I did. I would have deserved it. But instead of hurting me, you protected me. Not just once. You protected me more often than that.”
Blanche's mind immediately jumped to the one thing she could think about. Before she could stop herself, she spoke up. “The chandelier.” She wasn't sure why this had appeared in her head in an instant, but she had a clear picture of shattered glass in front of her inner eye. And she remembered screaming from the top of her lungs even though her throat was burning, just to get Theodore away from the center of the room. She had jumped toward him and spread her arms to shove him away.
Of course, she hadn't been able to touch him, and only the shock had made him back off. But that had saved his life.
Theodore nodded at her and rested his hand on her cheek while she leaned into him. “Exactly.” His voice was weak as he spoke this time. “Prince Linden came to us a while after the war for a peace treaty. The strategy that witch had come up with had brought doom to ten thousand of his soldiers, so it was surprising that he agreed. But he just wanted to end everything to avoid more deaths. Then we found out that the war had been caused by false information and falsified letters. Obviously, we were all devastated. At least the others were, and I was more or less numb, even though I knew that I should be more affected. During that time, that witch and Linden got along very well since I barely accompanied them in favor of sitting at your grave for longer and longer. I'm sure that he also fell in love with her back then, but she was too focused on trying to get me to pay attention to her. She tried to make me jealous, only to be met with nothing but a fake smile. Then we prepared for Linden's departure.”
And then things had gone downhill.
“It happened exactly like this time, but we didn't know about it back then. The chandelier crashed down and landed on Linden. That thing is rather heavy, so his bones were broken, and he was bleeding a lot. Just a second before that happened, I stood right beside him, but you appeared. You sent me away with so much vigor that I fell backward. First, I thought that you had wanted to scare me for fun, but then the chandelier was cut off. You had saved my life again. I could only cry at that and ask myself why you didn't hate me. And maybe I also regretted not dying again when I had had the chance.” Theodore took a breath and caressed her cheek while gazing at her as if she was the last light in a world full of darkness. “Everyone asked how had I reacted so quickly after we brought Linden to the doctor. I told them the truth, and that only made them certain that I had lost my mind. They tried to get me to see a professional, but I refused. Then we talked to Linden, who had been confined to the bed by the injuries. He had internal bleeding and knew that he wouldn't survive. He wrote a letter to explain the situation and prevent an escalation because of his demise.”
Somehow, Blanche could swear that she had vague memories of that scene as well. She had never seen an injured Linden sitting on a bed in this world, so that had to be connected to the story. That faint knowledge was enough to make her realize that this wouldn't end well.
Theodore took a shaky breath before adding the next part. “But then Linden asked who the woman that tried to save him had been. He was told that there had been no one, and he refused to accept it. Afterward, he described you in such detail that no one could deny that it was you. That was the first time that everyone turned to me with pure dread on their faces. And I simply smiled at them and told them that I had been right all along. That witch looked so terrified that I should have found out that something was wrong even then. But of course, I didn't. Maybe because I didn't think about her but only about how you had saved me.” He looked at his lover with a mix of countless undefinable emotions but grief, wrath and regret were certainly among them. “I love you.” He sounded so desperately while speaking that she immediately brought her lips to his and kissed him with all of her passion.
Blanche almost didn't dare to pull back when she noticed how he clung to her and only backed off to whisper to him. “I love you too. That's why I would always save you when I have the chance. I wanted you to be happy, and I thought that you could find a happy end at some point.”
Theodore shook his head. “Not without you. Without you, it's impossible. Especially in that world where everything bad happened. Maybe you also remember something about what followed. Linden died because of his injuries a day later, which eventually caused the second war with Ocrea.”
The concubine wasn't as surprised as she should have been. Some part of her had known about that ending already. She had known that Linden would die and that horrible problems would arise afterward. But another thought made her swallow. “That... All your talk about having survived a war wasn't a metaphor.”
That realization was as horrifying as it was logical. Why else would Theodore be so good at fighting now when he had always hated it? Why else would images of a barren field near the border, which was covered with bleeding soldiers, fill her mind? It was easy to understand that she had somehow seen that war too, even if she had been dead at that point. Her soul seemed to have followed her lover around for real. It wasn't too surprising. She knew best how much she loved him. If she had the chance to help him, even death might not stop her.
Theodore weakly nodded at her. “I went to war. Not in the very beginning but a bit later. Linden's sister was the one that directed the troops and planned to crush Artias. I told you about the enemy nation having nothing left to lose once, right? That was what she was thinking. She used everything they had, and the consequences were even more dead soldiers and citizens than before. This time, even that witch that called herself a great military strategist couldn't come up with anything and despaired. I should have been grieving too, but I was too focused on dealing with your loss. That's when I first understood that our nation could literally crumble to ashes and it would be fine as long as you were with me. I visited your grave as always and started staying there for the whole day. Leon began bringing me food and tried to talk to me, but I barely reacted. At some point, we were there late at night and encountered the bear. The one from the hunting festival. It was aggressive and killed a few royal guards before it was defeated, so I took care of it earlier this time.”
The concubine still had trouble imagining her lover while he fought such a huge predator, but it seemed like he had truly gotten strong in that other world. At least physically. The price had been psychological wounds that would never fully heal, and this certainly wasn't worth it.
Blanche could barely keep herself from crying when she thought about that and quickly focused on patting her lover's head again.
Theodore moved his arms to allow himself to lean his head onto the cushion while still holding her as tightly as before. “I'm sure you don't want to hear this, so I will tell you what happened next more quickly. Your former maid committed suicide. I later found out that she did it because of guilt because her falsified testimony had been used as evidence in your trial. Of course, you had never ordered her to break into that disgusting woman's room, and while she had falsely claimed that, she hadn't even known that it would be used to punish you so harshly. After she dreamed of you a few times, she couldn't hold on anymore. Before her death, she had written an apology letter to you and swore that she would serve you if she had another chance. We found her when it was too late already.”
The concubine had known that somehow too. Her mind had the image of Stella lying on the floor with blood from her wrists covering her whole arm. That was what Blanche had been scared of during the attack on the palace. It was why she had been so happy about seeing Stella eat because she had seen times during which the maid had been too depressed to consume anything. Just imagining that was enough to make her grieve.
Stolen story; please report.
And at the same time, she was relieved. That awful thing couldn't happen this time because Stella didn't have anything to feel bad about.
Still, Blanche would make sure to hug her friend as soon as she saw her. From now on, she would take great care of her maid's moods. She pressed her lips into a line to hold some tears back before quietly speaking up. “I'm glad that she is fine this time. I won't let her hurt herself.”
Her lover slowly stroked over her hair while looking at her. “That's good. For a while, I hated her because she had betrayed you, but it wasn't like she knew what the full plan was. It seems like her sense of loyalty has become much stronger ever since then. And you like her. That's why I allowed her to stay. She is much more chirpy than back then, so she also seems to feel more comfortable being with you. Back then, she was gloomy all the time, which was why it shouldn't have been surprising that she wouldn't move forward again. I couldn't either. After that...incident, I was so jealous that you can't believe it. I considered doing the same as she did, but I wanted to see you again, and running away from the pain I deserved felt wrong too. So, I lived to see you.”
Even when he hadn't seen Blanche but just a transparent ghostly version of her soul that seemed to have clung to him even after her death. But apparently, that state hadn't been the limit in the end.
Theodore showed her conflicting emotions while he spoke. “And the more often I called your name, the more regularly you appeared. At first, I could only look at you for a minute at most. Then you would disappear. But you slowly became less transparent for me, and I started daring to dream about touching you. That never worked at that point in time, but your presence became stronger. You were with me day and night, and I noticed that you were always standing next to me even if I couldn't see you. Of course, I dreamed about you each night too.” He paused for a little moment to squeeze her hand, as if he wanted to remind himself that she was right here. “Others saw you after that, in their dreams mainly. That wretched woman as well. She began having nightmares and felt guilty every single day, which she fully deserved. I couldn't bring myself to console her and just sought comfort in your presence whenever you came.”
That was another part that meant much more than Theodore might imagine. Both Seraphina and Allen had had nightmares here too. And now that Blanche compared it, those nightmares matched up with what happened in that other world. Allen had blamed himself for breaking the butterfly clasp and framing the concubine for that. That was why he had dreamed about visiting her in jail and had asked about her hair ornament during the hunting festival. He might have recognized it from his dreams. That would also explain why he had been so quick to ask for her forgiveness after he and his sister had tested her just to stop her from looking at him with such a bitter expression.
Seraphina had dreamed about a grave in the forest and feeling guilty about a person's death. Maybe that had been Blanche's grave. Most likely, it had been.
In that case, it would mean that all of this wasn't just two people gaining memories of a different timeline. They had truly set the world back for a few years and begun again with pieces of the old fragments still lingering in people's minds.
If Theodore heard that, he would try to kill Seraphina. Blanche was sure of it. That the former empress didn't have her memories had been the only thing keeping her alive.
Blanche couldn't risk a war with Ocrea, so it was obvious that she shouldn't say anything about that now. But upon looking at her lover, she quickly changed her mind. They didn't want secrets between them. That was why they were discussing everything now. Blanche wouldn't begin piling up any hidden stories ever again. Secrets were what had brought them apart in the first place, and she wouldn't allow that to happen from now on.
“Theo...” She was still a bit uncertain, but she couldn't hold it back now. She didn't need to wait before her lover's full attention was on her. “I think this world is somehow the same. When I spoke to Lord Duremont and...” Mentioning the other's name would probably upset him. Blanche had always avoided saying Seraphina's name in the first place anyway, maybe because of the traces of disgust that were still there. So, it wasn't hard to call the former empress by the title the concubine had often used in the past. “That woman. When I talked to them, both said that they had nightmares. He dreamed about seeing a cell and seemingly my butterfly, and she saw a grave and felt guilty. She also said something about someone dying on that grave.” To her surprise, that information didn't seem new to her lover.
Theodore looked into her eyes as he brought his face closer to her, and rage showed on his features. “They deserve it. They deserve much worse. I had people spying on them at all times to ensure that they would immediately get what they've earned if they tried anything. I was the first person that knew about those nightmares. It was good that they suffered. If they felt guilty for a hundred lives, it wouldn't be enough for them to make up for what they did.” In an instant his anger faded, only to be replaced with grief. “That is true for me too. But even if I know that, I can't restrict myself. When my happiness with you is right in front of me, I could never hold back.”
Blanche was relieved to know that she hadn't caused some sort of murder attempt, but right now, she had a different mission. She needed to show her lover that she wouldn't allow him to punish himself. She gave him a little smile and closed the remaining distance to kiss him. When she moved away, she cupped his face and whispered to him. “You don't have to hold back. I want you to understand that I wish for your happiness. You didn't receive another chance to be with me to hurt us two by cutting yourself off. We got another life so that we could be together. I fully intend on using each second to make sure that we live as well as we can. That is my wish, and it should be yours too. We will move forward together toward our happy end.”
The tears in Theodore's eyes only began to flow down in an even greater number when he heard that. He pulled her against his chest and cradled her head while pressing countless kisses onto her hair. “I love you so much.” That was all he brought out between choked sobs.
He continued like this for a minute, which she spent reminding him that she loved him too. When he finally calmed down a bit, he released her head to hold her body again. Most likely, it was important to him that he could see her face while he told her all of this. He was still waiting for her anger, even though he had to know that he wouldn't catch a glimpse of that by now.
Theodore took a while to regain enough of his composure before he could speak again. “I swear that I will do everything I can to make you happy. You will never have to worry again for a second of your life. I love you, and I will continue to do so for all eternity. I will make sure that no one ever doubts that I am on your side no matter what.”
Blanche smiled at him and reached over to pat his head again. “I know. I will do the same for you. Because we love each other. Forever means forever. We're bound until the very end now. That's why you don't have to give up anything to make me happy. Just stay with me. And kiss me. And hug me. Then I'm content. But becoming your wife sounds really wonderful as well, so I would ask for that too.” She slowly let her hand wander downward and caressed his cheeks.
Theodore leaned into her touch and let out a shaky breath before he responded. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes. You will finally get what you always deserved. You will become my wife, and I will be your husband, who will always protect you and support you. I love you.”
The concubine's smile widened. Right now, it seemed like she was successful in improving his mood. That was another reason for her to ask for a break. If he was feeling better now, she didn't want to let him return to grieving again. But she also didn't want to interrupt him, so she was extremely careful while addressing the topic. “I love you too, Theo. And nothing will ever change that. Which means that we have an eternity together in front of us. I adore you, so I want to make sure that you are fine. How about we drink a little now? You have to be dehydrated by now. I would like to drink some tea with you. We can continue afterward.”
It was easy to see how reluctant Theodore was to agree to that. He didn't want to give himself a rest. He wanted to get it over with so that he could finally say that he had told her everything.
But this time, she insisted on it. “Just five minutes. You have to be thirsty from talking so much by now.” To be honest, Blanche was truly worried about him having too little water in his body. He had cried so much yesterday, and now that it was another day with the same amount of tears, she needed him to drink something. She already eyed the glasses that stood on the cart that Stella had left behind. “The water is right over there. Come on. Let's drink a bit and then go to the bathroom.”
Blanche made sure to move slowly to get Theodore to follow her when she sat up. Of course, she stayed in his arms the whole time as she grabbed a glass and lifted it to his lips. She was careful to tilt it slowly since it seemed like he would just drink anything she gave him right now. Then she drank a bit too and repeated the process before changing the glass. It didn't take long to finish both glasses.
Going to the bathroom without taking her arms off Theodore was more complicated, even though they had already done it once today.
When they returned to bed, Blanche almost felt like she had run around for the whole day. As soon as they collapsed onto the mattress and wrapped themselves in the blanket again, she rewarded her lover with a bright smile. “See? Nothing is running away from us. We can take as much time as we want to. That's why there is no need to push yourself. Just move at your own speed. Do you want to continue tomorrow or now?”
Theodore's response was already clear. “Now. Some of the most important parts still come, so I want to tell you today.” It was obvious that he was eager to continue, so she just allowed him to resume immediately. Theodore took a deep breath before moving on with anger in his voice, which revealed that he would talk about Seraphina. “Even though that witch was suffering because of those nightmares and I didn't know that she was the vilest person in this world, I didn't bother calming her. At that time, I was already so cold that I only talked to her when she approached me. Then I still put on a fake smile, but that was it. I turned away her requests to eat with her and sat by your grave instead. She noticed that at some point and got upset. She doubled her efforts, but I mainly ignored her. I couldn't bring myself to care despite her obvious desperation.” He paused for a short moment before resuming. “But then she lost her child. In hindsight, I always said that it was because the gods could never reward such a horrible woman for tormenting you. The real reason probably was that sickness I mentioned and excessive stress due to the many problems that bothered her at the same time. But the gods' punishment seems like a reasonable explanation too. Not that it would have hit the right person. That poor child wasn't guilty of anything.”
Blanche looked at her lover and carefully stroked over his cheek while taking in his expression. All of this wasn't new to her. Despite it not making sense, she could vaguely remember seeing Seraphina crying on her bed in shock while the doctor tried to calm her. There had been blood on the sheets, and everyone around them had cried. She remembered trying to say something, only to be unheard by everyone.
It was odd how she could picture that scene without needing to try hard. She knew that she had been sad back then too because her hope for Theodore to become happy had once again been shattered.
Those memories shouldn't be hers at all. She had been dead then for a long time. There should be no way for her to remember what happened at that point. Still, it was easy to piece everything together.