“I regret that we had to meet each other in such a stressful situation. I always admired how dignified and calm you were and how easily you were able to follow the protocol. Of course, I never saw all the effort that you put into that and was just jealous. I regret that a lot.” Blanche's words were followed by a short pause.
Seraphina sighed quietly and placed her cup on the table. “I told you not to apologize, did I not? As I said, I didn't always act like I should have either. Maybe I should have admitted that demanding that you could follow the rules of noble society after barely being here for a year was unreasonable. Everyone else has had about two decades full of preparation, but you only had a few weeks when we first met. You learned incredibly fast for having so little time, and you should have been praised for that instead of being put down. I should have accepted that you wouldn't care for my standards much like I couldn't understand yours then. But instead, I insulted you the first time we met. Obviously, you wouldn't be happy to compliment me afterward.”
Blanche couldn't talk back here. She didn't feel like she needed to either and just waited while being a bit confused because they seemed to have this conversation about their past differences yet again.
The empress was silent for a moment before continuing. “And I never acknowledged your good points either. You threatened servants with throwing them out, for which I scolded you, only to later hear that they were the ones that had offended you greatly. They would certainly have deserved to lose their position here, but you didn't actually ask His Majesty to take care of that. Of course, I should also have seen that the way you interact with him is wonderful. You always managed to lift his spirits and distract him from his hard work. Whenever we had a discussion about something and he was humming to himself when I entered, I knew that you must have visited him shortly before that. You also never began a fight with people that didn't somehow irritate you first. That is why you and my sister never once argued even when you were still more...harsh. But the most interesting thing about you has to be your way of showing your emotions.”
Blanche frowned slightly at that. “I am a bit uncertain what you could be referring to. Is there any specific situation that made you think that?”
“There are a few. You occasionally voice some rather amusing things. The most memorable things happened this, or rather last, year. When Duke Vasquez wanted to go on a walk with you while my father and I were here, you were desperate to get away. And your solution was to suddenly yell about a cake. I actually thought that I wouldn't be able to hold back laughter when you managed to use that as an excuse to get away. The duke's expression was rather amusing even if I cannot quite laugh about it after hearing about how vile he truly is.” Seraphina closed her eyes for a moment before drinking another sip of the tea and asking her maid to refill it. She only continued when the other woman had disappeared. “It was also funny to witness how you listened to the dowager empress' complaints during His Majesty's birthday ball. She talked about how awful you were for about a minute, and you simply responded by saying that you were happy to see her too. It was...a bit amusing in that tense moment. As you can hear, you never did very...dignified things, but you actually managed to do it in a very entertaining way. You just say what no one expects. Sometimes, you do the opposite. You react in a way that everyone thought about but didn't dare to act upon. For example, when you grimace as soon as you meet the second prince. Even if lacking self-control is more of a problem to you, it can be interesting for onlookers.”
The concubine remembered those situations well. She actually had to admit that she felt a bit worried about what others would think about such outbursts. She had been rather embarrassed after the cake incident, and dealing with Camille in public had been stressful too. “I was a bit...unhappy about those situations. So, I am glad that I could at least bring you some entertainment.” Even if it was strange to believe that the empress had almost laughed about something Blanche had done while they had still disliked each other a lot.
Seraphina showed her a little smile. “I doubt that you have to feel embarrassed about that. Other situations were much worse. There were days when I asked myself whether you had no shame at all.” That didn't make it better. “Since those days are over, I believe that you can be a bit more confident. In fact, you need to be more confident as the emperor's wife, and you have the right to be. You mastered most appearances in public in a good way, except for my birthday, during which you collapsed. I would ask you to pay more attention to your health in the future and would advise you not to attend if you are seriously sick.” Her smile faded in the middle of the sentence, and she looked down at her teacup. “That...wasn't what I actually wanted to talk about. I am starting to stray away from the original topic.”
Blanche was even more confused now as she just watched how the empress seemed to stall for time. The topic was unpleasant, wasn't it? Then Blanche would rather address this now. After a short pause, she decided to break the silence. “I see. You do not have to force yourself to talk to me, Your Majesty. You can also tell me later or not tell me at all if it's not that important.”
Seraphina shook her head. “No. I wish to talk about this. I do not know why it's not enough for me to talk to my maids, but maybe I feel like you will understand it a bit more than they do. To be honest, that assumption is foolish since I saw you doing the opposite and...” She cut herself off and let out a deep breath. “I should just go ahead and tell you before I change my mind.” She focused on breathing for a moment before resuming. “I'm scared.”
Blanche was absolutely dumbfounded at that. “What? Why? What are you scared of?” The empress was the most powerful person right after the emperor. Even after the divorce, she would be the daughter of the most influential dukedom in Artias. Thus, few people could actually threaten her or cause some kind of damage otherwise. “I don't think that anyone can hurt you. If you need help, you only have to-”
Seraphina interrupted her by shaking her head. “If His Majesty heard about me being attacked, he would be the first to line up to pay them to do it. I would refrain from mentioning any of my weak spots around him. But I am not been physically threatened either. The issue is more...difficult.” She averted her eyes and resumed in a quieter voice. “I already told you that I hoped for you to become pregnant and give birth to an heir, right? I had to admit that there was more to that than me just not wishing to raise a child without loving parents. I actually was happy about the rumors about you being pregnant during the hunting festival. When I heard that they weren't true, I wasn't indifferent. I was genuinely disappointed. That was because I knew that the empress' duty is to birth the next ruler, but I had a strong dislike regarding that idea. Your relationship with His Majesty and me knowing that you would be good parents together was part of that. But there was another reason.” She breathed in and out and became even quieter. “I'm actually...not that good with children. Children don't just dislike me, they hate me.”
Blanche was taken aback on multiple levels. She hadn't expected the other woman to address such an issue when they hadn't talked about children in a different sense than considering the political options. So, it shouldn't be normal for the empress to come to her for this kind of advice. At the same time, it was odd.
The heroine in the novel had looked forward to being a mother. Seraphina had been described as slightly nervous but very happy. She had always appeared in front of the villainess like that whenever she had proudly mentioned her child, which she had done often. That had made it seem like the empress adored children and was hoping to finally have one for herself too. Now it seemed like babies were a difficult topic though.
Blanche took a moment to regain her ability to speak before she dared to begin. “Your Majesty, I doubt that that is true. All children are different, so you cannot get along with everyone. Some will take longer to trust you, and some will immediately fall into your arms. There is no way that all children could have the same opinion on one person.”
The empress stared into the distance. Her expression showed that she wasn't convinced at all, and she proved that when she began explaining. “When I held Sophia, I was very young myself. But still, I managed to make her cry every time even when I tried my best to calm her. I never did anything special and was always overly careful. My parents and brother never had an issue holding her, but I seemed to do something wrong. The older she got, the better it was, but when she was an infant, she hated me. She isn't the only baby that did that. Madeleine and Briana were similar as well, which just proves that babies in general hate me. That didn't change in the past twenty years either. Even now children despise me. Grace doesn't cry because she's an angel, but she gets stiff when I put her on my lap. No matter how often I tell Sophia that her daughter dislikes me, she keeps handing her baby over to me. I worry about making Grace cry each time, but I have no idea what to do either. I would favor just waiting until she gets older and getting closer to my niece then.”
Blanche was pretty sure that she would have cried if her siblings had done something like this. Thankfully, the twins had always adored her, and even Grace hadn't been upset whenever Blanche had held her. That had been calming, so she was certain that children didn't have a general dislike toward her despite worrying about that a lot when she had been young. Now that concept didn't even make sense to her. “That may be true, but I still believe that there is no way for you to assume that all babies act in a similar manner. Maybe you were just worrying too much and were stiff while holding them. Infants are very sensitive to the moods of people around them, and that is why they might be a bit...confused if you are tense. But they wouldn't dislike you because of it. They might not even cry because of you. Children cry often. Whether they are hungry or sleepy or want attention. You didn't have to be the cause of their distress. I would guess that those were just coincidences.”
Seraphina raised an eyebrow before responding. “You seem to like taking on the role of a comforter more often than in the past. Whenever we talk, you console me for some reason. Maybe I should really start being a bit more positive.” Her expression fell, and she gazed down into her cup. “I can't explain it. I just know that children do not like me. That's why...I'm scared.” After a short pause, she slowly lifted her head again and looked straight into the concubine's eyes. “I trust that you will not say this to anyone, or I may be confronted with some serious issues. It might be hard to keep quiet about this, but it is a sensitive matter, so no one can hear about it. At least not until I am gone. Understood?” That just made the situation seem more tense.
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Blanche slowly nodded. “Of course. I won't utter a single word.” Her curiosity became bigger with each passing moment, and at the same time, her anxiety rose too. What could this dangerous secret of the empress be, and how was it related to children apparently disliking Seraphina?
For a moment, both women were silent before Seraphina slowly dared to speak up in a whisper. “I did not have my period for the three last months.”
Blanche blinked a few times. The rest of her body was frozen in place as her mind struggled to process this. Either this was a coincidence, which was rather unlikely. Or... “Is there the possibility of you...being pregnant?” The concubine asked this as quietly as possible in hopes that no one here heard it.
Seraphina refused to move for a moment before slowly nodding. “It's quite obvious who would have to be the father.” She rested her hand on her stomach and stared straight into her cup, not even daring to make eye contact.
Blanche leaned back in her seat and turned her gaze upward. All of this was a bit much to take in.
The normally so mannerly empress hadn't just had an affair with the diplomatic guest from another nation, but she had also slept with him. And now Seraphina was pregnant with Prince Linden's child. It shouldn't have been surprising that the heroine, who had gotten pregnant after just one night in the novel, was now carrying a child too.
But that was more than problematic in many ways. No one could know that the empress had been unfaithful, or her honor wouldn't remain unscathed. Surely, some people would begin to taunt the disloyal wife at every given chance, and that could even affect the Duremont family in itself.
Aside from this, huge questions arose. Was this child considered a member of the Estien family or the Sual family or both? Since Seraphina wasn't the queen of Northern Ocrea, the child couldn't be an heir to the throne for now, but they would be part of the royal family in that nation. Here, that child would be assumed to be the emperor's. But as soon as Theodore revealed that it wasn't his, which he definitely would do if one considered how hostile he was right now, that baby would be treated horribly. Even the Duremonts might have a hard time protecting an illegitimate child that had been fathered by another man while Seraphina had still been married to the emperor.
In short, this whole situation was horrible. And in Artias, it was much worse than it would be in Ocrea.
Blanche stared at the clouds in the sky for a while before looking at the empress, who still seemed to avoid eye contact. “Does Prince Linden know? Have you sent him a letter?”
Seraphina paused for a moment before shaking her head. “No. I still have to do that. I need to ask the doctor first so that I can be certain, but I don't dare to do it. He would immediately run to His Majesty. And you can imagine that His Majesty wouldn't be against making me into a laughingstock as soon as he gets the chance. This certainly is his chance. I'm also scared of someone else reading that letter before it could reach Linden.”
Blanche wanted to tell herself that Theodore wouldn't be that cruel, and he usually wasn't. But when it came to Seraphina, he might make an exception. It was clever not to risk that. However, doing nothing now when visiting the doctor was crucial during pregnancy was also not a good idea, especially for Seraphina, who should be overly careful. The concubine bit the inside of her cheek before speaking up. “Did you already tell someone else?”
“My sister. She is the only one that knows, and it should stay this way too.” The empress almost looked intimidated while she said this even though it wasn't necessary at all.
Blanche had no intention of revealing her secret. “Yes, I know. But you need a doctor anyway. You should let someone examine you to make sure that the baby is healthy. I mean...if there is one. Maybe you can visit Lady Ravillot and ask her to bring a doctor there. You can rely on them not saying anything if they are a professional. Then you could be sure and take care of yourself too. Once the divorce is progressed and you move out, it will be easier to go to a doctor in secret, but you would still have issues due to the date of the birth. You can't just make your child four months younger.”
Seraphina nodded while a slight frown formed on her forehead. She seemed to have no idea how to deal with this since she knew exactly what giving birth would mean. “I am aware. That is why I am very concerned. I am not ready to raise a child at all. Maybe it would be easier if Linden was here to tell me what to do. Then I wouldn't be so scared of not being able to take care of our child. Maybe he would have an idea or just calm me down so that I don't feel like everything might collapse at any moment.” She blinked after saying that, which made it seem like she was almost crying.
Blanche's mouth moved before she could really think about it. “If you and Linden love each other and the divorce is processed in a few days, you can become his wife, right? You could go to Ocrea and be the queen there. That might be best for your child.” She only noticed that she had just told the other woman to leave the nation when it was too late.
But Seraphina didn't look angry. She was just lost in thoughts. “That would be nice. But I don't want to force him. I don't want to make him feel pressured because we might have a baby. So, I'd rather not mention it at all. Maybe he doesn't even want to hear from me again and just writes back letters because he feels guilty. I don't want to make him feel indebted.”
“He doesn't feel like that.” Blanche felt like a hypocrite for talking about a relationship she knew nothing about, but she did it anyway. “I didn't see much, I admit that. But I accidentally ran into the labyrinth while you were here once. And I saw him smiling at you and you smiling at him. You know that he never smiles unless he is around you, so that should be enough proof. I'm sure that you truly care for each other. You both didn't want him to leave, and you keep sending each other letters, right?”
The empress hesitated for a moment before replying. “I send one every week, and he sends back one as well. That is already more than we agreed on.”
Blanche remembered exactly how she had felt while writing letters to Theodore, so her heart ached upon hearing that. So, she hurried to console the other woman a bit more even if it wasn't her place or responsibility to do that at all. “If he didn't want contact, he would send back a response less frequently and claim to be busy with work. But ever since he left two months ago, he wrote back as many letters as you sent. He wants to contact you. That's why he almost asked to be allowed to take you with him too. Becoming his wife would cause no issues, right?” And the empress would leave Artias in that case. That might be the best option for all of them.
Seraphina fidgeted with her hands and stroked her fingers over her cup. “I...think that it should be fine. An alliance between our nations would be good. Even if His Majesty hates me, he wouldn't mind exchanging me for a better relationship with Ocrea. At least I hope so. I want to see Linden again. But we've barely known each other for a little over three weeks and only exchanged letters since then. That is way too early to marry. I'm a bit unsure what to think.”
Blanche couldn't deny that things had gone awfully fast between those two. But she didn't really have the right to comment on that. “Well, I moved in with Theo after we talked for maybe five minutes. I think your pace is fine as long as the both of you are content with it.”
The empress actually let out a little chuckle at that, which caused the concubine to freeze. This was probably the first time that Blanche had heard the other woman laugh while they were alone. She didn't even know what about her words had caused this. But apparently, it helped.
Seraphina's expression was less stiff afterward. “Right. I almost forgot about your first meeting that ended in you already wanting to marry immediately. Back when I heard about it first, I thought that it was a bit naive of both of you. I was certain that one couldn't judge someone else's character that quickly. But then I met Linden and was immediately sure that I would like him a lot. I couldn't have guessed how much though. I fell for him in the first week. Maybe asking him to marry me now isn't too sudden then. But I'm still unsure.” She lifted her head to look at the sky. She was silent for a moment before resuming. “The weather is nice today. It seems like I chose a good day for our meeting.” It seemed like she wanted to change the topic then.
Blanche waited for a moment, and when nothing followed, she spoke up. “I am grateful that you trust me enough to speak about things like this. But, if I may ask, why are you telling me this? You are much closer to your maids. And due to our past, I would understand if you still doubt me a little. And I'm with Theo most of the time, so the chance of me telling him is higher than it would be for anyone else. I obviously won't do that, but...I'm still curious why you wished to tell me.”
“I wonder.” The empress gave her a little smile. “Maybe it's because I wanted to hear you try to console me. I have to admit that you sometimes say the exact things that I would have liked to hear. I'm thankful for that, and I use it to my advantage when I feel unwell. Afterward, I've been much calmer, so you seem to help in some way. Maybe it's because your advice seems to help too. Thanks to the herb tea you recommended, I haven't had a nightmare since the last time, and I'm very relieved about that. Maybe I just wished to talk because we won't see each other often in the future too. When I leave the palace, I'm not sure if I will even get invitations for any events. If I'm still here at that point.” Seraphina stared into the distance for a moment before turning her attention back to the concubine. “In any case, I am happy that you decided to join me. You heard enough about my worries. Let's talk about more pleasant things.”
The empress' mood shifted after that. She became a bit calmer and more relaxed than Blanche. She addressed one lighthearted topic after the other one, only to interrupt the conversation at random points to ask questions about the Estien family or some recent laws.
Sometimes, Blanche had to ponder her answer for a bit, but she managed to get all of them correct again. She mentally noted to thank Leon for that, but she was pretty sure that she would forget that in five minutes.
For the rest of the conversation, both women seemed to feel rather cozy, so it was almost strange that they had used to resent each other. Though, a part of Blanche still stayed on guard so that she never fully lost track of the time. Since she was well aware of Theodore waiting for her, she was forced to end the conversation at some point. She bid farewell to the empress and returned to the palace.
Somehow, it wasn't surprising that her lover had already known whom she had met. He took a moment to warn her again but assured her that she would be safe in any case since Noah would have informed him about any strange movements. Blanche wasn't too certain regarding what he had expected, but she was happy to talk about that topic instead of Seraphina's problems. She didn't want to accidentally mess up and reveal the other woman's pregnancy. So, she avoided everything that was related to the subject while hoping that her uncertainty wasn't too obvious.
Thankfully, Theodore didn't ask anything specific, so she managed to keep that secret. Instead, her lover just announced that the divorce would be over very soon so that she wouldn't have to deal with Seraphina for much longer.
Blanche was still taken aback by how awful he thought the empress to be, but she didn't point it out.
She was focused on something else. The whole time, she tried to forget the heroine's pregnancy, but she couldn't. There would be so many problems waiting for the empress due to this, and Blanche couldn't do anything about it. It wasn't her place to meddle either, so she just waited.
She soon noticed that everything was moving forward extremely quickly once more, but she couldn't have guessed that the developments were happening this fast. Just the next day, overwhelming news came without a warning.