The group around the emperor had a short conversation with Duke Lamont and Fiona, who was oddly docile today and gave the concubine an almost pitying gaze. After that, Theodore alternated between chatting with the Duremonts and the Lamonts. But no matter whom they talked to, there was always this cool sensation on Blanche's back, which made her shiver occasionally. Even focusing on all the topics that were discussed didn't manage to distract her from that. At some point, she eventually dared to turn around and search for the person she suspected to be the reason.
She wished that she wouldn't have done that.
Making eye contact with Cedar across the whole room was the worst thing Blanche had done today. Camille was staring at the group around the emperor too despite standing next to the Vasquez family. The two moved their mouths as if they were speaking to each other about something.
When Blanche met the prince's gaze, he lifted the corners of his lips and gave her the most unsettling smile she had ever seen, even though it physically looked completely normal. Seeing him talking while he stared at her like that made her hairs stand on end. Hopefully, he and his mother weren't discussing how to get rid of her.
She whipped her head around and stepped closer to Theodore without caring for whoever was possibly observing them. She would have liked to take her lover's hand to let him soothe her, but at the same time, she wanted to soothe him too. After meeting his family, her sympathy for him had doubled, even if she hadn't believed that that would be possible before.
The dowager empress was cold as ice, and from one conversation alone, it was clear that she was filled with nothing but resentment. The second prince was disturbing in a completely different way. His ability to act like a loving brother, with him only allowing cracks in the facade if he really wanted to scare someone, was terrifying. The fact that those people were related to Theodore just made it worse. Some brothers would commit treason to protect their sister's honor, and on the other hand, Cedar hated his brother because of their mother's unjustified hatred and might kill him if given the chance. That was more than dangerous.
Growing up with those people was something no one deserved, so Blanche was glad that Althea had been there to support Theodore. Now she herself was the one that had to give her best to assist her lover and wouldn't hesitate to do it no matter what. Even if she was scared of his family as well.
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The banquet was exhausting. The party went on until midnight, and keeping a dignified appearance the whole time proved to be very hard. It took as long as any ball would, but at least Blanche didn't have to dance with anyone. The fact that no music was being played made her suspect that Cedar had just invited her to upset Theodore despite there not actually being a chance to dance, but that didn't change much.
Both the dowager empress and the prince stayed with the Vasquez family the entire evening after they greeted the others shortly. That didn't keep them from staring at Theodore though. This was an additional factor that made Blanche, who was right next to her lover, so nauseous that she was stiff the entire time. It wasn't a wonder that she was tired when the last guests finally left. Camille and Cedar had been here until the last minute before bidding farewell in a very tone that seemed very unsettling to the concubine.
Seraphina brought her family to their carriage, so all the nobles except for the emperor and Blanche had left the ballroom. Then they were finally alone, aside from the servants that were hurrying around to clean up.
The concubine collapsed onto an armchair and allowed her muscles to relax for the first time since she had stepped inside the ballroom. She leaned against the backrest with a sigh and began whining. “My feet hurt.”
Theodore stood next to her and gently ran his fingers through her hair while being careful not to ruin her hairstyle. “I know. Parties are exhausting. But you bravely endured it the whole time. How about I massage you later as a reward?” That was a tempting offer, but massaging often led to something else, and she wasn't sure whether she would be too tired for this.
On the other hand, it wasn't like Blanche could ever be too tired to be pampered, and being close to her lover might be the best thing to get over meeting such horrible people today. “Yes, please. I don't even want to walk up the stairs.”
The emperor sat down on the armrest and allowed her to lean against him. “I can carry you again.”
“How could I refuse such an offer? My feet feel like they'll fall off at any second.” The only thing keeping Blanche from taking off her shoes and throwing them at an object, which she could imagine to resemble a specific prince, was her dignity. The servants already knew her as past self a misbehaving brat, and she didn't need them to think that she had returned to that personality. She wanted to add something else, but her lover's serious expression made her stop. “Is something wrong?”
Theodore scanned her face for a moment. He slowly leaned forward and pushed a strand of hair away from her face while his eyes took in every detail of her features. “What do you think about them?” His voice was a bit hoarse while he spoke. It was clear whom he was referring to.
Blanche grabbed his hand and gave her best to show her disgust on her face. “I hate them. That woman is a walking block of bitterness and hatred. I don't think that she felt anything apart from those emotions in the last few decades. She never got over your father loving someone else, did she?”
If the concubine was in a similar situation, she surely would be as resentful as the dowager empress. She knew that unrequited love was painful better than anyone else, but she would never hurt a child because of that. She did know the novel had suggested that she would be willing to poison Seraphina's unborn child, but in her current state of mind, she would never consider something like that and refused to believe that she might be willing to be so vile. So, Blanche felt nothing but disdain for Camille, who had gone this far.
Though, Blanche said something else instead. “She was a bit quieter than I would have imagined. She said little in comparison to her son, but that was enough to make me despise her even more. I'm sorry that you had to live with such a person, as a child nevertheless.”
Theodore gave her a sad smile as he put his free hand on her cheek. “I wouldn't be surprised if she was connected to some of the...let's call them...issues that I ran into when I was younger. But the past is in the past. What matters now is our future. I will have to warn you. That woman may speak less when she isn't in the middle of a hysteric fit, but she is the one pulling the strings. She has all the power-hungry people in the palm of her hand and uses them to change everything in her favor. She never acts herself, and this won't change now either. If I want to get rid of that woman, I will have to crush all of her supporters first. Unless I manage to make her snap and do something unreasonable. That would be easier. Though, that would ensure that I can't cut off all troublesome people first.” He lowered his gaze onto the floor. After being silent for a few seconds, he slowly locked their gazes again. He licked over his lips and hesitated for a while until eventually spoke in a barely audible voice. “And him? What about...”
Even though Theodore hated the dowager empress most, Blanche could tell that Cedar seemed to make him feel way more uncomfortable than Camille when it came to whom the concubine interacted with. She tightened her grasp on her lover's one hand and took the other in hers too. “I already told you, didn't I? I hate him. He spouts one lie after the other and acts like he is so innocent. That is more enraging than the Vasquez's fake grin. He disgusts me, and one conversation was enough to make me have trauma for my whole life. One look is enough, and I want to hit him and hide behind you.” Not quite since Cedar somehow gave her some mixed signals, but she didn't have to say that now.
Theodore wrinkled his forehead and moved his head closer to her. “Don't try something like that. He's not...mentally stable. He hides it well, almost too well by now, but when he does snap, it gets uglier than you can imagine. Cedar becomes extremely destructive when he can't have something he wants. Since he broke a few of my toys in the past because he wasn't allowed to take them, I fear that he may do the same with the nation if he can't rule. But more than I fear that, I fear his willingness to do everything for the dowager empress. She despises me, so she wants me to suffer. You are the most important thing in my life, so she will target you too. If she tells Cedar to do something, he wouldn't refuse. And since he always envied me, he wouldn't mind taking away what I love either. I bet that they would take sick pleasure in seeing you choosing my brother and leaving me on your free will because they know that that would crush me.”
Blanche tried to jump to her feet, and her lover was the only thing that kept her in place, which was good since she would have collided with his head otherwise, but she also couldn't vent her emotions by pacing around now. She was pretty sure that she almost threw her lover off the armrest as she lunged in his direction and wrapped her arms around him. “Don't say something like that! I would never, never, never, never, nev-”
“I know.” Theodore pulled her against him and buried his face in her hair. His words had definitely upset her too much. He had just stated that his brother would love to see him suffer, so it wasn't a lie.
But the suggestion that she would ever betray her lover made her sick.
Blanche was aware of the fact that she was overreacting, but she couldn't keep herself from replying with as much vigor as possible. She clung to Theodore and gripped his clothes tightly to keep him from pulling away. “No matter what happens, I would rather die than leave you. And that person is the last one I would ever want to talk to. I resent their faction, his mother and everyone that would dream about supporting them.”
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Her lover let out a shaky breath as he pulled her closer. “Thank you. I don't ever want you to say that you would be fine with dying, but I want you to stay with me. I wouldn't be able to let you go no matter what.”
“That's good because I have no intention of leaving. My emotions are consistent. I loved you from the moment that we met, and I never stopped. It'll be the same with my hatred for them. One look was enough to make me understand that I won't ever like them. I won't even be able to say that I don't care about them and that I only slightly dislike them. Because I despise them.” Blanche began stroking over her lover's hair. This gesture was supposed to calm him as much as it was meant to soothe her as well.
Theodore stayed quiet for a while in which they just sat there in each other's embrace. When he spoke up again, his voice was still a bit hoarse but steadier than before. “If you stay on my side, that will make them even angrier. Don't ever be alone with them. Cedar doesn't mind using dirty tricks. But I will always trust your words. I hope that he won't try anything, and I do want to believe in that, but he's already so different from the last time I saw him. I really don't want to kill him because I know that it isn't his fault that he became like this but that woman's. But I won't hesitate if he crosses a boundary. If you ever feel like he is angry, even if it's just the slightest bit, tell me. Me having something he can't have is his trigger. I fear that having someone choose me over him will make him snap again. I can't let it get that far. The last time I saw it happening, he was...” He was silent for a moment as if he was going through his memories. “Eleven years old. I don't want to know how brutal he can be now.”
Blanche tangled her hand into his hair. “I understand. So, I shouldn't provoke him. I'll just avoid him, and if I can't do that, I will make sure that someone is with me. If Cedar gets mad, it's dangerous, so I'll run to you if I notice anything.” Even though she felt like Cedar did control himself quite well. He seemed like a walking puppet at this point, not that this said anything good about him.
“Yes.” Theodore looked like he wanted to add something, but he had no time for that.
None of them let go even when a voice called out. “Your Majesty.”
Theodore lifted his head, and Blanche turned hers to look at Seraphina, who was standing in front of them.
The empress showed them her typical stoic expression as she began. “The Duremonts left without any occurrences. Though, I will inform you about His Grace being displeased. During the next meeting with the ministers, he might request a private discussion.”
Theodore exhaled loudly and rested his cheek on his lover's head. “That's exactly what I need right now. Well, I'll talk to him then. There is nothing we need to discuss now, I presume.”
Seraphina narrowed her eyes slightly before neutralizing her expression. “If there isn't anything you wish to say, I would like to ask for permission to take my leave.” Hadn't she wanted to speak with him after the party? It was strange for her not to insist on discussing Theodore's thoughtless actions during the evening.
But the emperor didn't seem concerned at all. “No. You may leave.”
Blanche scanned the empress' expression for a moment as she reconsidered whether she should speak up. Today, her lover had caused a few difficult situations for his wife, and still, the empress had remained dignified. Not only that, but Seraphina had also helped the concubine thrice. Once when she had argued against the other woman dancing with Cedar and a second time when her father had gotten angry. Seraphina had also joined Theodore's scheme when the Duke and Duchess of Vasquez had refused to respond to Blanche's greeting. It would be appropriate to thank her for that. The heroine wasn't too angry for that right now, was she?
The concubine was currently cuddling with the emperor, so expressing her gratitude now might be a bit disrespectful. But doing this later would make it even weirder. She took a deep breath before opening her mouth. “Your Majesty, I would like to thank you for today. You spoke up for us a few times and prevented very uncomfortable situations.”
Seraphina was silent for a moment before replying. “You do not have to thank me. That did not mean anything. I merely had to show that our enemies will not be able to use me to work against His Majesty. So, do not misinterpret anything.” Despite her words creating a lot of distance, her tone hadn't become icy, so she did not seem to be upset with the concubine for thanking her.
Blanche took that as a sign to respond. “Still. You did not have to do that, but you chose to. So, I'm grateful.”
The empress looked to the side. “Of course, I had to do that. At this point in time, it is most important to ease the people into what will happen in the future to prevent trouble at a later date. I will return to my room now. Goodnight.”
The concubine was irritated by that vague statement but didn't ask further. “I see. Goodnight, Your Majesty.”
Seraphina nodded and left. She strode to the entrance of the ballroom and exited along with her maids, who had stood by the wall to wait for her mistress.
That made Blanche look for her own servant. She found Stella standing near the corner on the other side of the room with a deep frown on her face. Next to her, Darlene and Clark had similar expressions. The concubine made a mental note to ask her maid what had happened as she yawned.
Theodore gave her a soft smile when he saw that. “We should go to bed now, shouldn't we?”
Blanche nodded. “That would be better. I want to take off my shoes.” That thought reminded her of how much her legs were aching. She gazed at her lover's face for a few seconds before raising her hand to pinch his cheek. “You said that you would carry me up. You won't break your word, right?”
“Of course not.” The emperor stood up, and immediately, the air felt much colder on her skin. So, she was glad when he knelt before her to maneuver her into his arms.
As soon as she was cuddled against his chest again, everything felt fine. She happily leaned into his warmth as he lifted her and stood up on his feet. Her lover carried her out of the ballroom without minding any of the stares they got.
Blanche had nothing to do in his arms, so she looked at those people for a bit, and to her surprise, only a few of them seemed like they were upset about the emperor having knelt before a baroness. In fact, most of them only appeared to be tired, but they had a slight smile on their lips as the couple passed by. The concubine met her maid's gaze, and Stella hurriedly followed her.
Theodore brought her up to the third floor seemingly without any effort, which made her press a kiss on his neck.
“It's impressive that you aren't out of breath. Did you train your stamina?”
Her lover smiled at that. “Fortunately, I did. It pays off now. It doesn't make much sense in a way, but I won't complain.” They reached his room before she could ask about what he was referring to, and he waited for the guard to open the door before bringing her inside.
Just before he could close the door, Stella ran to the entrance and spoke. “My Lady! Don't forget to clean your hand properly.” She pointed at the backside of her right hand and tapped onto it a few times. “You should use water, soap and a very rough cloth to make sure that you get everything off.” The maid sounded oddly angry as she continued to aggressively tap onto her skin.
Blanche took a few seconds before she remembered Cedar holding her hand and hinting at a hand kiss. She grimaced before being able to hold back. “Yes, I will. Please bring me the things you just listed.”
“I will hurry.” Stella immediately turned around to storm off with balled fists.
Theodore paused for a few seconds before closing the door. He brought his lover to the bed before slowly lowering her onto the mattress. He plopped down next to her and showed her his palm.
This time, the concubine could guess what he was thinking about. She quickly put her hand in his and let him grab her tightly. A few seconds of seeing his pained expression were enough to make her speak up. “See? Stella hates him too. Will you help me clean it? I need you to kiss me a hundred times so that I don't have to think about the party anymore.”
Theodore didn't hesitate to press his lips to her fingertips. “I will. A thousand times. I know that you are tired, but please let me show you how much I love you.” The longing in his voice and on his face was obvious. Tonight, he needed her to be with him, and she had no intention of refusing.
“I would never reject you, Theo. This party was horrible, so we need to end the day with something wonderful. I'm right here with you, and I won't ever leave.”
Her lover took her hand in between his and planted kisses onto her fingertips, which made pleasant tingles run through her veins. “That is good. I wouldn't stand any of this without you. The time alone without a chance to see you was worse than everything I ever went through. It truly was the most abhorrent thing that I ever experienced. No torture could be more painful. I only longed to be with you night and day.”
Blanche gave him a soft smile. “At least I didn't exaggerate then. I was worried about you being annoyed because I was too dependent on you. I was about to send you a letter asking you to let me return before yours came.”
“I didn't mean...” Theodore paused for a moment and just looked at her before he averted his eyes. “How could I be angry about you depending on me? I couldn't live without you. And I'm very happy that I am able to provide everything for you because I can secure that you have everything you need to live comfortably. I'm giving my best to find everything that-”
A knock cut him off.
He raised an eyebrow and glanced at the entrance. “Your maid is quick.”
Blanche couldn't help smiling as she imagined Stella stomping down the hallway. “She was fueled by anger.”
Theodore let out a snort before allowing the servant to come in. After the maid had brought a small bowl with water, a towel and three different soaps, he dismissed her for the day.
Even while Stella left, she still looked like she was planning a murder and glared at the person that wasn't here at all.
As soon as the couple was alone, Theodore put his lover's ring onto the nightstand and helped her undress so that they wouldn't stain the dress. Blanche sighed in relief when she finally took off her shoes but didn't throw them at something as she had planned and only placed them onto the floor next to her.
Her lover didn't waste any time and grabbed the towel immediately. He began carefully but extensively scrubbing the backside of her hand with water and soap. He went over the spot a couple of times before he was satisfied. But after that, he didn't let go of her hand yet and opted for kissing it dozens of times.
It was painful to see him this desperate, so Blanche gave her best to shower him in affection. She kissed him, stroked over his hair and told him that she loved him as often as she could.
After a few minutes, this seemed to affect him. He finally began smiling with tears, which he argued came out of happiness, in his eyes. He repeatedly told her that he couldn't live without her and that he would always trust her. That he loved her more than anything else and that he had never stopped for even one second.
She only saw that as a sign to increase her efforts even more. Just like he always consoled her when she was uncertain, she would do the same for him. She wouldn't let go of him for the whole night and not in the future either.
She would never let go of him and gave her all to show him that.