Blanche didn't have much time to orientate herself since a voice immediately sounded next to her ears after she opened her eyes.
“My Lady, My Lady!” This time, it was unmistakably Stella who was calling her.
The concubine was still drowsy from just having woken up but jolted awake as her brain finished processing her dream. She sat up and met her servant's teary gaze.
“Thank the gods!” Stella was half yelling and half wailing as she spoke. “You were crying in your sleep, so I tried to wake you up. But you just didn't respond. I yelled and shook you, and there was no reaction. You simply didn't open your eyes, and then you whispered that you didn't want to die. I was so scared because I thought that...” Stella didn't finish the sentence but threw her arms around her mistress instead.
Blanche's mind was still racing because of the countless new pieces of information she had gathered through the dream, but she quickly decided to calm her maid first. She embraced the other woman tightly and replied. “I was-” Her voice was already hoarse and cracked after the first two words. She coughed and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. Stella noticed that and let go to hand her the water, which Blanche gladly gulped down. Her throat felt less sore now, but her head was still buzzing, and her face was full of dried tears. Apparently, she had cried along with her self from the dream, which wasn't a great surprise considering how harsh Theodore had been with her. The only good thing about that was that she had stopped crying now, even if she still didn't feel great.
It seemed like the concubine took a bit too long while drinking since Stella stared at her mistress with round eyes as she waited for her to be done.
So, Blanche carefully attempted to speak again and succeeded this time. “I had a nightmare. I probably didn't wake up because my brain hadn't finished the dream, but I have no idea. Either way, I'm fine now.” At least nothing hurt badly enough to make her search for some kind of injury.
Stella didn't reply with any words and hugged her mistress again instead. Only now Blanche noticed that the poor woman was shaking. That her mistress hadn't reacted had to have caused Stella to assume the worst, especially after the concubine had collapsed and refused to wake up a little over a week ago.
Consoling her maid wouldn't be the easiest task since Blanche herself wasn't in the best state either, but she couldn't just let the servant sob without trying anything. “It's alright. I'm awake now, so you don't have to worry anymore.” Right after saying those words, she realized how ridiculous they were. Just because she wasn't hurt, that didn't erase all the worries that swarmed around in Stella's head.
It had been the same with Blanche and Theodore after he had found her crying in the pavilion. Surely, he had calmed her for the night, but that hadn't gotten rid of the problems with the novel. She had only felt better after their very long reconciliation, and still, she was scared of the discussed issues.
In this case, she also couldn't tell her maid that everything was fine now when nothing had changed.
Blanche could only attempt to calm Stella down and then address a possible solution. Gently, she began stroking over the other woman's hair. “Everything is going to be fine. I don't know what happened, but it's over now. We'll call the doctor later so that he can check on me, and if something is wrong, I can get treatment. But nothing hurts, so I assume that it was just the dream that kept me asleep. Because of the meeting yesterday, many thoughts were rushing through my head, so that must have been the attempt of my brain to process it.”
Stella buried her face in her mistress' neck and inhaled shakily. Her grasp around the other woman tightened, but she didn't say anything yet.
Blanche continued to pet her maid's hair while being completely absorbed in her thoughts. Even though the scene she had just witnessed hadn't been in the novel, she was sure that this conversation had been from the original timeline. The way that Theodore had treated her matched the resentment that he would feel for her near the ending, and most of the evidence he had enumerated had been mentioned in the novel as well.
However, neither the villainess' relation to Harris nor the mysterious person named Cedar had ever been described in the book in even a single line. Blanche was now aware that the villainess knew those two vaguely, but her brain refused to cooperate when she tried to figure out more. Whenever she thought about this, her mind gave in, which meant that this couldn't have been described well in the novel.
Consequently, the nightmare hadn't only made Blanche more scared of her lover's hatred but also muddled her previous understanding of the future events. Clearly, there were things that she didn't know despite having the memories of “To Be Empress”, and that scared her. She couldn't be sure whether protecting herself from the dangers that she knew about was enough to save her life. Apparently, the second novel was a bigger problem than she had believed it to be.
A couple of minutes passed while only Stella's crying and Blanche's sniffling were heard. Both became quieter after some time before they had calmed down.
Then Stella let go of her mistress to wipe away the dried tears on her face. “We should get the doctor now. I don't want to wait any longer since we don't know whether you are in danger.” Actually, that wasn't necessary.
The concubine was fairly sure that being stuck in the dream had prevented her from waking, and since it was over, she shouldn't have any problems. Disturbing the doctor in the middle of the night for that seemed exaggerated. However, she couldn't prove that she was fine, and her maid definitely wouldn't believe her and insist on an examination. So, she didn't even have to try refusing. “Alright. Will you get him while I wait here?”
Stella nodded and jumped up. “I'll hurry.” She grabbed a candle before running out of the door.
This allowed Blanche to finally let down her guard. She couldn't stop fighting against the terror in her veins that made her shiver in fear. She hugged herself and repeated the dream sequence in her mind over and over again.
What was she supposed to do with this new piece of information now? Should she try to find out who Cedar was, or should she rather avoid that person? The second option seemed to be the better one in this case. After all, anyone the villainess would have been acquainted with was probably connected to some intrigues. Otherwise, they would have been mentioned in the novel too. The only reason for hiding their existence that made sense was that this person would play a major role in the second book of the series. So, the concubine should refrain from meeting them or at least from spending a lot of time with them.
But aside from this thought, Blanche also couldn't stop pondering about Theodore's words. Remembering them only hurt her, but she kept trying to find a little trace of remaining love in his expression. He had looked so hurt and wrathful, and yet, she desperately wanted to search for some hint of his lingering feelings. She wanted to find something that proved that he at least hadn't been indifferent when the villainess was executed.
However, that didn't matter. Right now, Theodore still cared for her, and Blanche wouldn't be hated this much if she didn't attempt to kill Seraphina, right?
Despite the protests of her trembling legs, Blanche forced herself to stand up while resting most of her weight on her hands on the head-part of her bed until it felt like she would be able to stay upright. Slowly, she let go and moved one foot in front of the other at a snail-like pace. As expected, she took a while to reach her destination.
As soon as she was next to the dresser, she plopped down onto the stool to unburden her weak legs. Her hands were shaking too, but she managed to open one of the drawers after some fumbling.
The purple butterfly was still lying there unharmed on the same spot that she had put it.
Blanche let out a shaky sigh of relief and carefully lifted the clasp up to inspect it more closely. There were no cracks visible, let alone a missing wing. She enclosed the accessory with her hands and pressed it against her chest as she had done in her dream. Even though it wasn't broken, tears were threatening to spill again, so she closed her eyes in an attempt to hold herself back. Putting the butterfly back into the drawer would probably be more effective, but she couldn't bring herself to do that. Instead of that, she looked around in her room for a hiding place.
No matter what happened, she wouldn't let anyone destroy this piece of jewelry. Theoretically, it shouldn't break if she wouldn't visit this pharmacist that the emperor had mentioned, but she wouldn't trust that. Even though it was unreasonable, she didn't want anyone to know where it was. However, nearly every single spot in her chambers would be cleaned by Stella every few days, and Blanche couldn't risk her friend stepping on it by accident. The only things the maid didn't touch were the contents of her wardrobe, the desk and the dresser. This meant that Blanche had to hide it in one of those spaces.
She turned around to open all the drawers and scanned what kind of jewelry was lying in each one. Quickly, she realized that the compartment at the bottom only held shawls and handkerchiefs. Maybe hiding the butterfly there would be perfect. No one would suspect a clasp between so many layers of cloth, and she barely opened this drawer, so she wouldn't accidentally pull it out along with another item. And even if someone knew that she had hidden her clasp, they wouldn't expect the accessory to be so close to its original location.
Blanche carefully placed the butterfly in between the fabric pieces and covered it up before closing all the drawers again. Immediately, she felt childish for being so paranoid. No one would come to her room just to destroy her jewelry. She knew that. Still, she couldn't bear the thought of seeing the clasp broken into two halves. She would rather be overly cautious than risk anything. Hiding the item hadn't taken more than a minute, so she hadn't wasted any time either.
Just at the moment that she was finished, a knock sounded from the door. Blanche opened her mouth to allow them to enter but hesitated when she remembered that it was the middle of the night. There shouldn't be any other people sleeping on this floor except for the royal couple, and they were on the other side of the building, but she didn't want to accidentally wake the servants in their rooms below her. Even though the walls and ceilings in the palace were relatively thick, she didn't have to challenge her luck.
Instead of yelling, Blanche rose from the stool and moved to the door. Her legs were still refusing to give her the normal balance, but it was better than before, and she managed to reach the entrance without falling onto her knees. She pushed the door in the same second that the person outside pulled it open, which made her stagger a bit. She managed to let go of the handle just in time.
Stella was standing in the corridor with the royal doctor by her side. The maid breathed out deeply when she saw her mistress and gestured for the man to go inside. “My Lady, you scared me again when you didn't answer. If this continues like this, I will have a heart attack by noon.”
“Please, don't get so upset.” Blanche had a small smile on her lips, which her servant tried to imitate.
The doctor, however, remained completely serious. “I would like to examine you as soon as possible so that we can make sure everything is alright. Not responding to auditory and physical impulses, even while sleeping, can be a bad sign.”
The concubine's smile faded at the urgency that the man's tone conveyed and stepped aside to let him in. Stella helped the doctor by carrying some of his equipment and brought it to the bed, with him following her. Blanche stayed by the door to close it and then trailed behind them. Immediately, the doctor made her sit on the bed and began by posing questions to ensure that her brain was responding properly.
The concubine did a few tasks that included moving her limps in specific directions or catching a pen that was thrown at her. After that, the doctor examined her eyes' reaction to light and used a stethoscope to listen to her breathing. Without complaining, she complied with the man's demands for half an hour.
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As usual, the doctor took notes every few minutes and put the book away when he finished. “I'm uncertain whether this is a good or a bad result. I can't determine any sickness or physical ailments. Since you also said that no part of your body is in pain, we have to assume that you are perfectly healthy. Naturally, this is wonderful, but it doesn't give us an explanation for you not reacting to being woken up. This is why I'm extremely worried that you might actually suffer from a condition that I cannot find. In the worst case, this might cause you harm later, so we'll need to make sure that you are truly healthy, especially after the events of the ball. Is there anything that felt odd? Or do you remember something being strange when you fell asleep or awoke? You seem to have been crying. Are you positive that you weren't in pain?”
Blanche leaned her back against the pillow and thought about his words for a moment. She didn't want to complain about the dream when the doctor couldn't do anything about it. On the other hand, he was concerned for her health and needed every piece of information he could get to come to the correct conclusion. With a faint sigh, she began. “I don't mean to sound childish, but I actually...had a nightmare. A really, really bad one. Stella said that I voiced a line from that dream out loud, so I must have had it just before I woke up. That was what made me cry, and my chest hurt a little too. I suppose that that nightmare had to be over before my brain was able to process anything else.”
The doctor shook his head slowly. “Nightmares aren't childish. In our dreams, our mind tries to deal with everything that happened during the day. Naturally, they could show the most terrifying thing that you can imagine too. I have never heard about people being stuck in a nightmare, but I'll research this topic and tell you when I learn something new. However, I would still like to take measures to help you now. Do you suffer from nightmares often? Specifically, ones that scare you this much?”
“Usually, I don't dream often at all. But in the last three months, I had three nightmares that I would call traumatizing and two upsetting ones. And the hallucination at the ball, of course, if that counts.”
The doctor nodded and opened his book to flip through the pages. When he arrived at the desired chapter, he stopped and read a couple of lines before speaking up. “I only have very few notes on anything regarding difficulties while sleeping, but I did write down what herbs are supposed to make you sleep more peacefully. They, apparently, calm the person down, and thus, their brain isn't as strained anymore. That prevents your mind from expecting something bad in your dreams and consequently makes sure that they won't develop in an unpleasant manner. I can get you some of these herbs for you to put in your tea. This is the one thing I can offer you.”
As long as this wouldn't harm her, Blanche would do anything to keep these nightmarish visions from appearing. “Yes, please. I would be very grateful for that.”
The doctor wrote something down and rose from the chair. “I will have someone deliver them to you by next week. I would recommend you ingest some of these herbs every day in the afternoon or evening. As I promised, I will read a few books about this subject as well and inform you of any other methods of treatment that might help you. I apologize for not being able to do anything else for now. I wish I could offer you a more convincing solution.” He bowed down, which immediately made the concubine uncomfortable.
Blanche quickly stopped him. “You already helped me a lot, so I am thankful. It's natural that you aren't omniscient, especially not in a field that has nothing to do with your usual tasks. My nightmares aren't your fault, so you don't have to be apologetic.”
The doctor straightened his posture again, but still, a deep frown was etched into his features. “Thank you for your kind words, Lady Blanche. I will give my best. The royal library will surely have some useful information. For now, I would recommend you rest and take it slow for the next few days. I will take my leave to not keep you from calming down.”
With that, the examination seemed to be over. Despite the doctor's and Stella's protests, Blanche accompanied him to the door to see him off. She thanked the man again for his help, but he claimed that he hadn't even done anything yet.
The doctor wished her a good night before leaving. As soon as he opened the door, all three of them froze.
Only a few steps away from them, three figures stood. The hallways within the palace were brightly lit at night, and the golden hair that reflected in the candlelight didn't leave any doubt that this was Seraphina. The people next to her seemed to be two of her maids. The group was immersed in a conversation until they noticed the opened door and turned around. For a moment, everyone was quiet.
To Blanche, it felt like the empress' gaze was piercing her very soul, which made her want to hide behind Stella.
If Seraphina saw that the royal doctor was present, she would probably think that the concubine was trying to get attention by acting as if she was sick. That would make her detest the other woman even more, which definitely had the potential of causing problems later.
Blanche could only hope that Seraphina would forget about this soon, or she might lose the small progress that she had made with her gift. She attempted to stay completely still to not draw any additional attention to herself. Only when the doctor bowed down, she realized that she had to greet the empress. She cursed herself for being so forgetful and made a wobbly curtsy.
Seraphina stared at her for another moment before speaking. “Lady Blanche, how are you? I heard that you had recovered fully after the incident at the ball, but seemingly, that isn't the case.” She sounded a bit tired, which was understandable since it was the middle of the night. Luckily, that also caused her voice to lose its usual sharp edge when she was talking to the concubine.
Blanche tried to reply somewhat politely despite her current state, even though her voice was a bit nasal thanks to her crying. “I wish a good night to you, Your Majesty. The doctor just determined that this is not serious at all, and it has nothing to do with the cold I previously had. I am in good health again, so this will pass quickly.” Blanche would have rather denied being sick completely, but that lie would cast a bad light on her since the royal doctor was standing next to her. Her statement would make it seem like she was bothering the poor man for no reason, so she had to be somewhat honest.
The empress' eyes roamed across the three people by the door before they landed on the concubine again. Even though the heroine was visibly tired too and just stood in the hallway without doing anything, she was gorgeous. The candlelight made her hair shine and illuminated her perfectly clear skin, which almost made her have an ethereal glow. Due to her exhaustion, she also didn't seem as resentful as she normally did, which was probably the reason that Blanche paid so much attention to her beauty. That and the fact that the nightmare served as a reminder of the future that would come if the story wasn't altered.
Seraphina remained quiet for a few seconds and then finally broke the silence. “It's unfortunate to hear that you are troubled by something so soon after the last incident. May you recover quickly.” These were unexpectedly kind words. Most likely, the empress was too exhausted to focus on her dislike for the other woman and just wanted to end the conversation as fast as possible.
In that case, Blanche had the same goal. She also wanted to limit the interaction with Seraphina to avoid making any mistakes since her head was still buzzing from all the things in her dream. “Thank you, Your Majesty.”
The empress greeted the royal doctor, and he returned it curtly. After that, she spoke up again. “I do not wish to keep you from resting, so I will leave now.” The concubine and the doctor bid her farewell, and Seraphina strode down the corridor along with her maids, which seemed majestic even in her tired state.
Blanche would usually be jealous of that level of charisma, but right now, the nightmare made her think about other things. She turned to the doctor. “Then I wish you a good night too. I apologize for disturbing you this late, or rather early.”
The doctor shook his head before taking his second bag from Stella's hands. “Don't hesitate to call for me no matter when, even if it should just be a minor inconvenience. I would rather make sure that everything is fine than wait until something bad happens. As you can see, I will be able to help you with the severity of your nightmare now, which I couldn't have done before. Naturally, I'll refrain from sharing this information with anyone except for His Majesty and my assistants, who could have some ideas too. Goodnight, Lady Blanche. Rest well.” He faced Stella. “You too. You were in complete disarray when you came to me, so you should go to sleep soon.”
The maid lowered her gaze but nodded.
The doctor left after that and disappeared at the end of the hallway.
Blanche ignored the guards that had observed the whole conversation with unveiled interest and went inside her room. She waited until Stella closed the door before speaking up. “I forgot that he will tell Theo about this.” She should have remembered that. If she had, she might have refused to call the doctor. After all, he would repeat everything that she had said to the emperor, who would only worry about her for naught. Even as the most powerful man in Artias, Theodore couldn't keep her from having a nightmare if the prescribed herbs didn't work. Though the worst possibility would be him asking about what she had seen in her dreams that made her sob for so long even in her sleep.
The concubine paused at that thought and turned to her maid. “Did the doctor see that I was crying? When you came back with him, I had stopped already, right?” If that was the case, she still had that chance that Theodore wouldn't be informed of how much the nightmare had affected her.
But Stella quickly took that hope from her. The servant's expression fell, and she bit her lips for a moment before responding. “You didn't cry anymore, but... I mean, you cried while you slept, and I don't know when you started since I just woke up in the middle of it. And that the dream bothers you is obvious too. All of that shows on your face, so there is no way that the doctor hasn't noticed. I think even Her Majesty did.”
Blanche held back a groan at that. Not only had she shown her most vulnerable side to someone who would tell the man that she loved but also to her greatest opponent. She could only hope that Seraphina wouldn't stoop so low to attempt to use that against her. She doubted that this would happen considering the heroine's general behavior, but Blanche's pride was still damaged. Maybe that was good though. After all, she had to be ready to crawl at the empress' feet if that was the only way to evade the ending that she had seen in her nightmare. Even that catastrophic situation could have been saved by the villainess giving up after all.
Even though that scene had shown Blanche so much suffering, there had also been one piece of information that should calm her. If everything followed the original storyline, she would still have a possibility to survive by accepting Theodore's offer, confessing her sins and apologizing to Seraphina. Every fiber in her being refused to consider that alternative since it would mean losing any chance of ever speaking to her lover again. But since he would loathe her at that point, there wasn't really another choice. She could only hope that she wouldn't ever be forced to make that decision as long as she didn't plot against anyone.
The concubine let her body fall onto her bed before she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself.
Her depressed mood had to have been visible on her face since Stella quickly sat down beside her. “You said that nothing hurt, so I assume that you are thinking about that nightmare.”
Blanche nodded weakly. For a moment, she hesitated to explain anything, but the pressure on her mind was already great enough. It felt like she would break down if she didn't let even a little bit out. “I dreamed about Theodore saying really mean things to me. Things that physically hurt my heart when I think about them.” Voicing this, along with her maid's empathetic expression, almost made her tear up again, so she quickly forced herself to add a joke. “Harris was there too. And he was nice. I think that was the worst part.”
The corners of Stella's lips lifted for a moment before they sank again. The servant lay down on her side in front of the concubine and began speaking softly. “Of course, I don't know a lot about what you dreamed, but I can still calm you. No matter what it is, if His Majesty said something and realized that it hurt you, and believe me, he would immediately notice, he would apologize without hesitating even for a second. Your dream didn't show reality but something that your brain made up due to all the stress yesterday. I am no scientist, but even I know a bit about how this works.”
Stella shuffled around a bit before continuing. “If you are troubled, your mind will create some kind of scenario that matches that emotion in an attempt to process the things that bother you. Since you worried about what His Majesty would think about you if he found out about those secrets, your head mixed this into a nightmare. Your own brain knows what words out of his mouth would hurt you the most, so it made you dream about hearing those. It's a strange concept that our minds are purposefully forcing us to go through bad things so that we get over them.”
If this had been a normal nightmare, this explanation would have calmed Blanche. However, knowing that this scene wasn't just fiction but could possibly become reality in just nine months naturally kept her from forgetting about the dream. She took a deep breath before replying. “I'm not sure how to say this... I feel like it's not just a nightmare but more like a vision of the future. And I'm scared of that coming true. All the dreams that I had during the last months were ones that added up to a story together. That story would end with me being abandoned by Theodore for another woman and him ordering my execution.” She had to choke these words out and already felt how a lump formed in her throat. She forced herself to calm down and balled her hands into fists. Then she closed her eyes while attempting to distract herself from the hollow ache in her chest.
Stella grabbed her hand, which made her mistress open her eyes and look into her maid's determined expression. “That won't happen. It might sound odd for me to be so convinced, but I'm certain.”
Blanche wanted to object, but the servant didn't let her.
“I'm not in His Majesty's head, I am aware of that. However, I saw him while you were unconscious. From the moment that you collapsed until you awoke, he didn't leave your side. He was in your room the whole time, and if someone wanted to see him, they would have to come to him, only to be rejected. He only let the doctor and me inside two or three times. I believe that Lord Astame was inside once too. Everyone else was forbidden from entering, and when I saw His Majesty sitting next to you, I knew why. Normally, His Majesty is a very confident person with charisma and an incredible aura of authority.”
Stella paused and patted her mistress' hands to underline the following words. “But when you refused to wake up, he looked like an empty shell. The only thing he cared about was you opening your eyes. The world outside could have burned to the ground, and he wouldn't have cared. He barely ate and slept directly next to you so that you could immediately wake him. I'm pretty sure that he cried a lot too. Naturally, he didn't do that when I was in the room, but his red eyes gave him away. I have never seen him in such a dejected state. If he didn't care for you with his whole heart, do you think it would have been like this? Of course, it wouldn't have.”
Blanche had seen him in that state too. Right after she had awoken, Theodore had looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in weeks and was barely holding himself upright. But that didn't mean anything for the future, right? She didn't doubt that he was utterly devoted to her now, however, if the novel forced him to act like in the original timeline, those feelings would fade despite her efforts. She wanted to hope for her ability to change that ending, but she didn't dare to. As soon as one began to hope, the despair upon being disappointed would be even greater. She didn't know whether a person could die of a broken heart, but if she tried to stay with Theodore only for him to push her away anyway, she would be the first case of that happening.
Naturally, Blanche didn't say all of that. Only a small part managed to come out of her mouth. “He loves me now, but that can change.”
Stella shook her head. “That all of his emotions suddenly disappear is fairly unlikely as long as he doesn't have a split personality. No matter what, he will always care for you, so he could never execute you. If he lost you, I think that he would crumble into nothingness. He might survive but not as the same person that he was before. He would be broken after that. So, I cannot imagine any scenario in which he would turn to another woman and leave you, let alone kill you.”
And even though Blanche knew that it was foolish, she felt a small spark of hope in her chest. She had changed a few events of the novel already. The main characters had missed a couple of interactions because of her, and thus, their relationship shouldn't have progressed as it was intended to. After reconciling with Theodore, Blanche and he were closer too, and he had promised her that he would remain by her side forever. As long as she didn't become the villainous woman that she was in the novel, he shouldn't hate her in the future. If she continued like this, maybe he wouldn't stop loving her either. But what if she began to believe in this, and everything still went wrong?
“Are you sure about that, Stella?” She asked that in a hoarse whisper, with her voice barely working.
The maid put her hand next to her mistress' onto the pillow and linked their pinkie fingers. “I am. My intuition tells me that everything will end up being wonderful for you and His Majesty. And my intuition is always right.”
Blanche wanted that to be true so badly. She didn't say anything though and just squeezed Stella's pinkie. They remained like this in silence for a while before the maid began to address her usual small talk, for which the concubine loved her at that moment.