Blanche was a bit surprised that Henry had accepted the news so easily, so she was a bit skeptical. “What if he lied to calm you?”
The emperor shook his head. “He didn't lie. He simply doesn't have a reason to complain as long as I prove that you will do a good job as the empress. Duke Duremont's main problem was his daughter being made fun of because I had a lover. Since the divorce is over, that won't matter anymore. He won't be happy about you having pushed her out and about you taking her position, which should have been yours from the very beginning, but he will be fine. After all, the public knows that I didn't divorce her because of a random woman but because I'm with the love of my life. That is so romantic that few people will be able to complain. Especially after they saw how wonderful we are together. So, his daughter's honor is saved, and he doesn't bother getting angry anymore.”
Today, Henry had indeed seemed much calmer than normal. He had only yelled once, and he hadn't threatened or insulted Blanche. That was an improvement.
The concubine was silent for a moment before speaking up. “I think he is different in some way. Duke Duremont isn't as intimidating as before. Maybe because he didn't yell.”
Theodore squeezed her hand and pulled her against him. “He didn't change. You did. I think that people seem different to you because you as your own person grew. You are more confident than before even if you still worry too much. No one can attack you. It's fine if you speak without being addressed first, and you can also reveal your true opinion without anyone being able to criticize you. I want to make sure that you understand that you aren't just anyone. You are my fiancée and the future empress of Artias. Be more brazen if people annoy you.”
It only took one sentence, and Blanche felt like her mood already deteriorated. Why did even the word ‘empress’ make her nervous now? After hearing so much praise from Theodore, she had almost thought that she might be able to accept it, but now her confidence was already gone. There was too much responsibility that was connected with that position, and she wasn't suitable. But as soon as she thought that, a voice in the back of her head called her a coward.
That voice wasn't wrong at all. She was terrified of being the empress. Everyone would compare her to Seraphina and demand nothing less than perfection from her. But how could a woman that had just entered noble society two years ago be as good as the others that had been here since they had been born? It was impossible.
Theodore didn't take long to notice her dismay. He stopped in his tracks and turned to her to gently cup her cheeks. “You are perfect in each and every way, and you will be perfect as the empress too. Don't forget that. You are more intelligent than you think, and you managed to work with me without having many issues. You care for our nation and have countless ideas, which you could realize when you become my wife. There is so much you can do. You wish for equality among the citizens, better education and the abolition of group punishment, right? You could fight for that and help the commoners more than most could because you've actually seen their situation in the past. And you wouldn't strive for a selfish goal while cold-heartedly hurting anyone that you deem an obstacle. You also don't toy with others' relationships and emotions and try to manipulate them. You wouldn't drug others to blackmail them later. That makes you better than the last two empresses. You are much better than them in general, and you can be proud of that.”
Blanche bit her lip and looked up at him. All of that sounded so kind, aside from him insulting Seraphina once again, and she wanted to believe it. But she couldn't flip a switch and get rid of her worries. However, she also couldn't stall for time anymore.
The nobles would hear about the divorce soon, and then they would ask questions about who the next empress would be. It was obvious that the concubine would have to make that decision until the ball. There were only three weeks left. Blanche tried to hide it, but she tensed at that thought.
Her lover's response directly followed. He pressed a kiss onto her forehead before speaking to her in a soft voice. “Don't force yourself to think about it. You have more than one night. I know that this may be sudden for you, but I promise that everything is ready for you. You only need to give me your affirmation, and everything will be fine. Your position is secured, and you don't have to worry. That's why I can confidently say that you won't be in danger when you become empress either. You won't be alone nor will you be overwhelmed with work. We will slowly let you get used to it, and you will see that that role isn't as grand as you imagine it to be. The title is the most burdening part about all of this. But remember this. Even though I'm the emperor, you don't see me as an omnipotent being but a human. It's the same for the position of the empress. You will still be you. Just like now, you will be able to bake and talk to servants and do everything you want to do. You will just work with me a bit more. That doesn't sound too bad, does it?”
It didn't sound bad at all, but he had a talent for making everything seem wonderful.
Blanche didn't want to respond, so she just buried her face in his chest. “I need time.” Even though her response was already obvious.
Theodore gently stroked over her head and allowed her to cuddle into him. “Alright. I will give you as much time as you need. Don't trouble yourself. I will wait for your response. No matter how long it takes, my stance won't change. I won't marry anyone but you.”
Blanche felt so happy to hear that she would be the only one by his side. It was the most wonderful scenario that she could ever have imagined. But that also made her the only possible empress until Theodore's retirement. And no matter how much she scolded herself for it, she was unsure whether she would be able to deal with that.
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The next week was horrible.
Even if Blanche didn't do anything special, she didn't manage to tell her brain to stop troubling her. Whether she was lying in her bed, cuddled with Theodore, ate or read through some documents, there was always the same question looming in the back of her mind. It was nerve-wracking, and she barely got any rest because of that. Even after her lover told her to calm down, she barely managed to force herself to smile.
It got so bad that Leon refused to give her a lesson that day and just told her to take a walk. Blanche had tried to refute that, but she had no say in that matter. Now she walked around in the garden without a goal, which gave her more than enough time to worry about everything without a way to distract herself. Great.
The concubine aimlessly followed a few pathways before she reached the terrace. She didn't have the motivation to go any further, but she hadn't spent more than twenty minutes outside. Leon had told her to take off at least half an hour. So, she still had to use ten minutes somehow. She plopped down on the edge of the fountain and rested her hands next to her body while looking up at the cloudless sky
It was a beautiful day, and that had been the case for the whole week already. It was almost like someone wanted to taunt her.
Blanche sighed for the hundredth time today and lowered her gaze again. She was met with her maids' worried expressions. Obviously, her friends had tried to cheer her up over and over again, but they couldn't get rid of the issue. She forced herself to give them a little smile before looking up and closing her eyes.
At least the cool breeze was pleasant, and the soft splashing of water was calming too. She tried to focus on that and to ignore the concerns that loomed in her mind like rain clouds, but she was unsuccessful. At some point, she gave up and opened her eyes again.
She gazed into the distance, just in time to make eye contact with Seraphina as the other woman coincidentally stood by the entrance of the labyrinth. Upon seeing the concubine, a soft smile spread on her lips, and she steered toward the fountain.
Blanche straightened her posture and swallowed her slight uneasiness upon meeting Seraphina. Somehow, it felt strange to interact with her now that the concubine had the higher rank. She felt like she was making a mistake as soon as she greeted the other woman. “Good afternoon, Lady Duremont. Have you slept well?”
Seraphina showed her a little smile, but it wasn't as bright as before. “I did. Better than you, it seems. Good afternoon, Lady Blanche. It is a bit impolite for me to say that, but you look like you have been pondering a lot of things. I do not know if I can help you, but I could try my best. You already helped me a few times as well. Maybe it is my turn to console you now.”
The concubine replied with a fake smile. “Thank you. Maybe distracting me would be better. I feel like my head will burst if I think about this any longer.” She ran her fingers through her hair to straighten it before letting her gaze roam around. If she was lucky, she could find something to talk about. When her eyes landed on Noah, she had found her topic. She patted the edge of the fountain next to her and waited until the other woman had sat down before speaking up. “I'm surprised to see that you are still talking to Noah. Or is he just quietly following you?”
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Seraphina glanced at her knight, who seemed to be a bit uncomfortable with being watched by them, before replying. “I have to admit that I was a bit upset about him telling His Majesty everything.” She said this loud enough so that Noah could hear her and waited until the guard averted his eyes before resuming in a quiet voice. “But he seems to feel bad about it, so I shall forgive him as he merely followed his master's orders. To me, it's worse that His Majesty actually believed that I would try to hurt you in some way. Apparently, Sir Aldis' main goal here was to make sure that I wasn't plotting against you. He was also supposed to keep me from putting some strange medicine in someone's food, which was an oddly specific concern. His Majesty lets him stay with me until I leave because of that too.” She was silent for a moment.
At first, Blanche thought that another complaint would follow. When nothing came, she responded in a tone that revealed her uncertainty. “That is a bit...strange. I'm sorry that you had to hear that.” Her lover had already told her that the knight had been supposed to keep an eye on the former empress, so this wasn't surprising. Hopefully, Theodore had held back with the other insults while instructing Noah though.
Seraphina was silent for a moment before replying while looking into the distance. “You do not need to apologize for other people's actions. I told you that already, correct? In the future, that will become even more important. The members of the royal family can't bow to anyone. But I'm glad that you understand why I am a bit disgruntled about this. Surely, His Majesty and I weren't close, but we were working together for over a year when he suddenly changed his mind. And since then, he has seemingly believed that I am a monster. It is strange and leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Especially because I would like to know what I did to enrage him like this. I assume that it has something to do with you. He was always very sensitive when I mentioned you. But I never hurt you nor did anything that would endanger you, did I?”
Blanche hesitated a bit and quickly got annoyed with herself for it. She shook her head. “I don't recall you ever even trying something that could indirectly put me in danger.” In this world. “The most you did was order me to leave a room during our vacation and send me away during the tea party. And maybe keeping me at the ball while I was sick. But you didn't do that with the intention of hurting me. So, I don't think that he would get so angry about that.” He had gotten angry about that. But there was much more to this matter than just those few incidents. It was just that she didn't want to think about that.
A smile appeared on Seraphina's lips. “It's calming that we both do not seem to understand him. But there is nothing we can do now. If his mind is incomprehensible, then so be it. We will have to discuss other topics.” She turned to the concubine. “Do you have any questions or worries you would like to share?”
Coming up with something on the spot was hard. Blanche pondered it for a moment before voicing the first thing that came to her mind. “How is your child? If there is one, I mean.” She only realized how stupid that question was when she finished the sentence. They weren't even sure whether the other woman was pregnant, and she was already asking such things.
Thankfully, Seraphina didn't let that bother her. She put her hand on her stomach and looked at the floor with a gentle expression. “It may sound strange, but I feel like I am pregnant. I visited my sister and asked her to call a doctor for our next meeting. I will see him the day after tomorrow. This whole matter is... I am...torn. I do look forward to having a child, but as I said, I'm scared. I have no clue how to deal with a pregnancy. I am grateful that my mother wants to help me, but she may not be able to do so for long.”
That reminded the concubine of something else. “Ah. Now that you mention it, did you tell your parents everything? What did they say?”
Seraphina let out a chuckle. “Their faces were brilliant. At first, they didn't believe it at all. Shortly afterward, they were overjoyed because I finally met someone whom I love. Then they became a bit more worried about the rumors that will surface once this secret here...” She gently patted her stomach. “Becomes too big to be concealed. But we may have found a solution already.” Her smile widened so that her face was basically glowing. “Linden's response arrived. Apparently, he used a pigeon to bring it to the border, and then a messenger, who seems to be one of our best men, took over. It went rather fast. I was really surprised to receive a response this early.” She had probably stopped there on purpose, simply to raise the tension.
Blanche was already eager to listen and turned her whole body to the other woman. “And? What did he say?”
Seraphina began talking with a grin. “I wrote about the divorce and that I would move in with my parents, which meant that we could write letters more often. And possibly even that we could meet. He wrote back saying that he wants to marry me so that I can become his queen. He will make his way back to Artias to pick me up.” While she said that, the heroine once again looked like a goddess with her golden hair that sparkled in the sun and almost gave her an ethereal glow. Her smile only underlined this. It was touching to see how happy she was about this.
The concubine couldn't help but smile as well. “Congratulations. I assume that you will agree, so I could even congratulate you on your engagement already. You will be the ruler of a nation in only a few months again too.”
A nation that was far away.
Seraphina nodded, but her smile slowly faded. One could see how the gears in her head turned as she tried to find a solution. She was hesitant to speak up, and a few seconds passed before she did so. “I...didn't mention the possibility of our child yet, and that worries me. I said that there was something important that I had to tell him, but Linden probably won't expect something like this. We have only been together once, so it is very sudden. Especially since we didn't see each other after that.”
For a second, Blanche was envious, more than she could admit. Of course, the heroine was pregnant after sleeping with a man only once. And the villainess, who had been with her lover countless times, still hadn't been blessed with a child. It was unfair, and she couldn't help but think that way. She wanted Seraphina to be happy, but she wanted to be happy too. Maybe it was too much to ask for a child when the gods had already granted her a chance to change her fate. But she couldn't deny that she wanted to become a mother so badly too. Surely, it would be fine if it just happened in a few years, but she was still worried about not having that chance.
Blanche took a moment to remind herself that this wasn't what mattered now and focused on the original topic again. “I am sure that Prince Linden will be happy. If he wants to marry you and stay with you for your whole life, he certainly will not be against raising a child. I mean, you two...had to have been aware of the consequences that you being...together could have. So, I doubt that it would upset him. He probably wants to have children as well.” At least Linden certainly needed an heir at some point.
Seraphina put her hand on her cheek and stroked over her skin. “I wonder. He said that he would like to have children later. That's not the issue. It may be a little sudden though. Like I said, we've only known each other for three weeks and wrote a few letters. This is awfully quick.”
Blanche scanned the other woman's expression as she tried to figure out what to say. There had to be something that could calm Seraphina down. Surely, that relationship had progressed quickly, but that didn't always have to mean something bad. The chance that something went wrong was high too though. Just telling the other woman to assume the best also sounded strange. But what else should she say? “It will be fine.” Probably. The concubine thought about an addition that would make her response better, but she never had to resume.
Seraphina shuffled around on the edge of the fountain while straightening her skirt. Then she turned her head to the other woman and spoke up in a soft tone. “I hope so too. But there is no way to tell now, is there? Though, my problems weren't what we wanted to talk about. Some distraction is nice, but you will not get rid of your worries like this. Would you like to tell me something about the things that are going on in your head? Maybe I will be able to help you.”
Blanche wasn't sure about that. Nothing anyone said would resolve the problem. She also wasn't sure whether she even wanted to speak about it. But her mouth moved on its own. “This...may sound foolish to you, but... I'm scared of becoming empress.”
Seraphina scanned the other's expression for a moment before replying. “You should know that you are the only option right now. If you refuse, Artias will not have an empress for at least two decades. What makes you think that that will be better than you taking over that role? You used to be brazen enough to say that you wanted it.”
It was frustrating to remember how Blanche's past self had acted even for herself. Since she didn't like thinking about that, she would have favored accepting that statement without any addition, but she couldn't. “But that wasn't true. Not really. I wanted people to like me, and I would have been happy with being admired. Having power sounded like a nice thing to my naive self too as well as being Theo's wife. In the end, I just thought like a little girl that wanted to be a princess though. I never wished to be responsible for a nation, and I still don't. I don't want to represent Artias when I appear in public. I don't want to be able to change every law based on my whims. I don't want to deal with the economy of our country either.”
Seraphina was silent for a moment before replying with a single word. “Why?”
Blanche turned to the other woman and raised her eyebrows. “Why?” The answer to that question was so obvious that it hurt. “I will embarrass the whole nation, and if things go wrong, the royal family will be ruined.”
To her surprise, she wasn't met with a nod or an “Ah” that signaled that her worry was logical. Instead, Seraphina just smiled at her. “That won't happen.” She said it as if that was a fact, which only served to irritate the concubine.
“How are you so sure about that? I'm lacking in every aspect. I'm not as graceful as all the other ladies nor can I put on a convincing fake smile. Sometimes, people still mention conventions that I've never heard of, and I can only nod. I am missing twenty years of etiquette training, so that isn't surprising. That I've received lessons for about a year isn't helpful either when others have been taught ever since they could talk. It's hopeless.”
Seraphina paused for a moment before replying in a calm voice. “Of course, you have some disadvantages, but the fact that you managed to catch up despite those missing twenty years means that you are doing well. You only took a few weeks to memorize the most important rules in noble society, if I remember correctly. You purposefully ignored them afterward, but I'm pretty sure that you knew them. So, you can be content with that. I think you are just extremely harsh on yourself. The is no way anyone can reach perfection.”
Blanche held back a sigh and began twirling one of her alabaster strands around her finger. “But you come awfully close. If I compare myself with you, I can only be disappointed. I feel like the knowledge is there in most cases, but I'm not good at executing it in reality. There is no way that I could keep a straight face when others talk like you do. I also don't have such a majestic and intimidating aura, which a member of the royal family should have.”
Seraphina scanned the concubine's expression for a few seconds before a laugh escaped her throat. She giggled a bit before responding with a soft smile. “You were always so good at reading me, but you missed one little thing. I made mistakes too. More than enough. You could write an entire book about the times that I almost humiliated myself in front of every single noble in the capital. Once, I forgot the names of some people and talked to them for an hour because I couldn't say goodbye without mentioning their titles. It was horrible. On multiple occasions, I almost tripped too. You should also know that I didn't work for the last ten months or so because His Majesty didn't allow it. What happened because of that? Nothing. As you can see my actions didn't mess up anything despite me doing absolutely nothing for the nation.” The empress paused before continuing in a voice that was a bit quieter. “As you can hear, I did make a few mistakes. Of course, I was annoyed and embarrassed when I thought about all of that, but in the end, it was fine. I got over it at some point. Because I am merely a human too. The nobles will always gossip about you, but you do not have to be royal for that. You should be aware of that as well. As long as you keep your head held up high, no one can grace you. After all, you have the emperor on your side. He supported you even when you did rather stupid things. What makes you think that he won't defend you now too? I doubt that any errors you could make are so bad that they cannot be redeemed.”