It wasn't like her lover never clung to her, but today, something was wrong.
Blanche could barely move in her lover's tight embrace, but she did her best to stroke over his hair and caress the side of his face she could reach. “You can tell me about everything that burdens you, Theo. I love you. Please trust me. I don't want to see you suffer.” She could already feel herself getting quite worried.
That Theodore was crying too didn't make it much better. He kept her caged in his hug and refused to loosen even a little bit. “I trust you. I trust you more than myself. Please don't leave me.” Those words were enough to crush her.
Blanche tightened her hold on him as much as possible. “What are you talking about? You know that I can't live without you. You always promise that we will stay together no matter what. Why would that suddenly change?”
The emperor shook his head. “It can't change. I will never ever let you go. I can't. So, you can never ask that of me. And no one can take you away.”
Blanche tried to shake her head too, but she barely had enough room to do that. “I would never leave! I love you, so why would I go away? I will stay with you, no matter what. I promised that, didn't I? Why are you suddenly worrying?”
Theodore let out a quiet sob and clung to her as if she was the only thing keeping him anchored. “You can't go away today. Not even for a single second.”
Today.
The emphasis rested on that again.
Blanche had already noticed that he seemed to be rather insistent on that. She dug her fingers into his shirt as she tried her best to make sure that he noticed that she was with him and wouldn't let go. “I'm here. I won't go. Everything is alright.” She could barely bring out the words without beginning to sob too. If she lost her composure, she wouldn't be able to console him at all. “I love you, Theo. I would never go away.”
Her lover took a shaky breath before replying. “I know...I know... But I'm scared of people taking you away from me. I can't let that happen. I love you.” He only tightened his hold on her after that.
Blanche turned her head to kiss the side of his head. “That won't happen. I won't let anyone take me away. I would fight until the very end. You are with me almost all the time, and you won't let anyone hurt me either. Owen is there to protect me too and the rest of the knights as well, so no one would have a chance.”
Her lover tensed at that. He didn't move for a few seconds before slowly relaxing. He kept her in his hold but slowly turned his head and pressed a kiss on her neck. “I will protect you. No matter what. I'm sorry. Today is...horrible.” He still hadn't told her what exactly was going on, but at least she knew that it seemed to be the date and not something she had done.
What could be off about today's date? Had there been a special occurrence that somehow influenced Theodore's worries now?
Was there an event the concubine should remember?
Blanche focused on stroking over her lover's hair and let him rest his head on her shoulder. She kept whispering that she loved him in his ear, and he repeated those words each time. They took a while until they calmed down and just lay there to cuddle.
Theodore lifted his head at some point and stared at her for minutes at a time while telling her how beautiful and perfect she was. She couldn't help but be more worried each time, but he still wouldn't tell her why this day was so awful for him. He only insisted on being as close to her as possible and showered her with kisses with even more passion than before.
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When the couple eventually sat up again to lean against the head part of the bed and just stayed there in silence, it was already late afternoon.
Theodore had stopped crying and did his best to act like he hadn't broken down a while ago. Yet, he refused to take his arm away from her and kept her close to him the entire time. It was like he was almost petrified with fear today.
Blanche considered addressing the topic, but she didn't dare make him cry again.
He would talk about it once he was ready, and right now, he obviously wasn't. He kept glancing at the clock as if he couldn't wait for the end of the day. But time passed slowly when they weren't doing anything.
At some point, Blanche asked the servants by the door to bring some board games, and they delivered the desired items minutes later. She was relieved when she finally had something to do here. The couple played chess for a while, and unsurprisingly, Theodore was much better than she was despite him obviously holding back. She didn't manage to win against him once, but she was more successful while playing card games, where she seemed to best her lover almost every round.
In the end, they somehow spent the time until dinner with only three different games. After eating, they went right back to trying all the others out and quickly found their favorites. They played countless rounds of those, so it had become dark without them really noticing it. Midnight approached sooner than she had anticipated, so they decided to put the games back into their containers before going to bed.
Blanche was almost sure that they would go to sleep immediately since their lazy day had been rather exhausting thanks to Theodore keeping her confined to the bed for so long.
But her lover had a different idea.
He sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her while resting his head on her shoulder and just staring into the distance. He began talking about random things that sounded lighthearted at first, but his hold on her tightened a little with every minute that passed.
After a while, Blanche couldn't stand seeing him so tense anymore and spoke up. “Theo, how about we go to bed? We're both tired, right?”
Theodore replied in a hoarse voice that sounded like he had to fight to even speak. “Just a few more minutes. Please.”
How could she ever think about refusing when he was this helpless? It was bad enough that she didn't know what to do. She could at least stay awake with him until he wanted to sleep. “Alright. Tell me when you want to lie down.”
Theodore planted a kiss on her neck. “Thank you.” He lifted his head again and turned to look at the clock. “Just a little longer.”
Blanche didn't know to what amount of time this was referring, but she would have to endure it for a few minutes. While she was slowly but surely getting really tired, she could force herself to stay awake a bit longer. She leaned her head against her lover's chest and closed her eyes.
Just when she thought that this might not be a good idea and only cause her to fall asleep even quicker, Theodore already whispered to her. “Don't fall asleep yet. Just three more minutes. Please.”
Blanche nodded and tried to catch a glimpse of the clock without her lover noticing. It was about two minutes before midnight, which meant that he was waiting for the next day to begin. Her lover truly seemed to hate this current day. She wasn't sure what two minutes would change, but she forced herself to keep her head up to avoid nodding off and tried to distract herself by chatting with her lover. She didn't have any topic to talk about though, so she just began with what came to her mind. “Did we get any news regarding Northern Ocrea?”
Theodore slowly nodded. “Prince Linden arrived home without any issues. He is in good health, and his father is happy about the progress we made. The contracts are already in effect, and there will be a new road that connects one that leads to their capital with our capital. Aside from that, he didn't ask for anything yet, unfortunately. I wanted to send a specific person to him.” It seemed like he still held on to that plan even while he was feeling horrible. That only made it even clearer that he didn't like Seraphina at all.
Blanche was still confused about why there was such a big difference and what had caused it, but she naturally wouldn't address it. Maybe she could ask him after the divorce was finalized. Right now, she was still in the dark and completely clueless after all, and a part of her wanted to keep it that way. That thought gave her another question. “How is the supreme judge doing? A divorce between members of the royal family is very rare, right? Does he have problems dealing with this?”
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
Her lover tightened his hold around her a little while keeping his eyes on the clock. “I don't think so. He only has to read the documents and sign them. I bet that he is only taking so long because that woman asked him to read everything carefully. She probably thinks that I added paragraphs that would cause problems for her. I should have done that and ordered the judge to sign. Then we would be done already.”
Blanche was rather sure that ordering the supreme judge around wasn't a good idea. Surely, that position was more for show since an influential nobleman usually had it and couldn't talk back to the emperor, who served as the judge when it came to important cases. But still, it wouldn't be beneficial if the supreme judge could just be forced to make his decisions. That role did have some authority.
At the same time, it confused the concubine a little that the judge still hadn't finished. “He already had two weeks or so, right? Your documents should have the top priority, so how is he not done yet? How long is that contract?”
Theodore still refused to look away from the clock as he responded. “It should have about fifty pages. I had to make sure that she isn't owed a single copper coin. I effectively stripped her of all rights to demand anything or to affiliate herself with the royal family in any way. There were a few things I had to clarify specifically, so it got a bit longer than I had originally wanted it to be. Leon was the one writing it, and he was rather upset with me because he had to read about marriage again.” It should have been obvious that he wouldn't want to give Seraphina anything, even though she had been the empress for two years. The relationship between the two of them was too strained for that.
That was something Blanche had to accept. Seraphina wouldn't be here much longer, and the nobles would soon demand a new empress. And then they had the original problem, which she refused to think about, again.
Blanche still didn't want to ponder that and just tried to focus on her conversation. She had no idea what she should mention now, so she just chose the first thing coming to her mind. “I want a wedding dress with a puffy skirt. It has to be white, and I want a long veil.” That was what she had always dreamed about as a child. If she finally was able to marry after longing for it for years, she wanted some things to be perfect at least.
Theodore tensed for a moment before nodding. “Yes.” After speaking with a quiet voice, he was silent for another few seconds and stared at the clock. Then his whole body relaxed. “Yes, yes!” This time, he was much louder and more energetic. Without a warning, he suddenly moved and spun his lover around so that she faced him. He brought his face right in front of hers and cupped her cheeks. “It will be perfect.” A wide grin adorned his lips, but at the same time, tears were glistening in his eyes. “It will be exactly like you always wanted it to be. You will be the most beautiful bride this world has ever seen. We'll exchange our vows at the altar and stay together forever.” With that, he pounced on her and tipped her over so that they were lying on the bed again.
Blanche couldn't contain the yelp coming out of her mouth and tried to find some hold by clinging to her lover. He fell down with her too though, so that didn't help much.
When they hit the mattress, she took a moment to understand what had happened and needed to give her pounding heart a chance to calm down. At first, she was in a panic upon seeing Theodore cry and wanted to console him, but seeing the blinding smile on his face made her realize that he was crying tears of joy. She reached up to cup his face, and immediately, he leaned down to kiss her.
He almost didn't let go of her when they had used up all air, and she needed to push against him to make him give her a break. Still, he was only beaming at her and gently ran his fingers through her hair. “We will marry. You will become my wife and my empress. There will only be you. I love you. I love you so much.” He didn't give her a chance to be concerned about the part about her being the empress. He simply pressed his lips onto hers again and removed his hand from her hair to intertwine their fingers.
Blanche was still unaware of why he was this ecstatic, but she surely wouldn't push him away. She wrapped her arm around his neck and kissed him back until she was out of breath.
Only then, Theodore lifted his head and let her take a break before repeating the same with another kiss. In the end, he kissed her about a dozen times before stopping and beaming down at her with nothing but love in his gaze. Blanche could barely calm her pounding heart down, but she refused to let off him.
They just lay there for a while in silence and looked at each other.
As soon as Theodore had caught his breath again, he continued speaking. “Everything will be wonderful. We really will marry. You'll be my bride, and I'll be your groom. No one within the whole nation will doubt that the emperor loves his wife more than anything else.” It seemed like the wedding was currently the thing that made him the happiest.
Blanche was glad to add to that. His sudden euphoria was way better than him breaking down. “Yes. We will marry. We will have a celebration like in a fairy tale, and Madame Charture will make gorgeous attires for us. We'll be the most prominent figures as the whole nation watches our union. Will we marry in a temple?”
Theodore nodded vigorously. “Yes. There will be a ceremony in the greatest one in the capital. Then we will ride through the streets in our carriage and go back to the palace. We will have a ball here afterward. Of course, we will invite every single noble in the whole country. My birthday will nothing in comparison to those festivities. And then we can finally belong to each other in every single way.” His grin only widened when he said that. He was overjoyed just by imagining all of this.
That was enough to paint a smile on Blanche's face too. “I'm already yours, and you say that you're mine. That is all we need, right? We will only get additional proof. Then I can finally call myself your wife and can address you as my husband.” She looked forward to that more than anything else.
Surely, becoming a member of royalty would erase some issues regarding her rank and other people looking down on her because of that, but she didn't care much. Maybe the people around them would finally stop saying that her lover would throw her away when they married. If not, there was little she could do about it. In the end, only her being with Theodore mattered. And once she was his wife, she officially had the right to accompany him to each event and stay by his side without feeling like she was out of place.
The emperor nodded again and beamed at her while blinking some tears away. “Yes, we will finally show everyone that we will stay together forever. No one will question it anymore when the whole nation can only talk about how much we adore each other. I will prove it to all of them. Making our wedding day a national holiday should be a good step after having a banquet for seven days after the ceremony. Or ten days. I haven't decided yet. We will also do something for the citizens during that time. Maybe we will provide one free meal for every person in the capital. I should invite the rulers of our allies too, just so that they will see what true love looks like here.”
All of that was way too grand, but Blanche had the feeling that her lover had already convinced himself that such a huge celebration was necessary. She wouldn't crush his hope, not that she had the chance to refuse in the first place. So, she would have to accept that their wedding would be the biggest event of the last decades. She was still worried about where the needed money would come from, but she suspected that her lover would find a way. She didn't mention that though. “Alright. But we can't invite every person within the nation. We need to hold back a little.”
Her lover shook his head and grinned at her. “You will finally become my wife. There is no holding back. Do you understand? We will show everyone that we are in love until they get sick of seeing us exchange so much affection.” Some people probably had already reached that point, and after such a grand celebration, many more would be annoyed as well.
But Blanche didn't care about that. As long as they were happy together, others could think whatever they wanted about them. She didn't mind what others were saying and never would unless it was connected to political issues, but it seemed like worrying about that was unnecessary as well when Theodore openly declared his love for her whenever he could.
Right now, he also couldn't stop showering her with affection. He kissed her again and left a small trail of kisses on her neck. It was rather clear that he wasn't in the mood to sleep right now. He was way too ecstatic for that. Thus, she would stay awake a little longer. Maybe she could distract him from his previous concerns just by being with him now. In that case, Blanche would gladly force herself to stay up for days at a time. But in the end, they only took another hour before dozing off in one another's arms.
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When Blanche opened her eyes the next time, it was still dim inside the room. One glimpse at the window told her that it was early morning and that the sun was currently rising and painting the sky in a vibrant red. But right now, she didn't care much for nature's miracles and focused on her lover.
Theodore was lying next to her and watched her with a little smile. “Good morning, my angel. It's early. You still have a few hours to sleep. Close your eyes again.”
Blanche certainly felt the need to do that. She was still drowsy from sleeping so little and would have liked to rest her head on the pillow before falling asleep again. But she couldn't bring herself to do that. She was too worried about her lover being awake at such a time. Something had bothered him yesterday, and he was probably still thinking about that. The concubine looked at him through half-lidded eyes and whispered. “Did you sleep already? Don't tell me that you were awake the whole time.”
Her lover gave her a small smile. “Don't worry. I'll get my sleep tomorrow. I just needed to be sure of something. You can go to sleep again, I'm fine. You are here, so everything is alright.”
Blanche just took that as her sign to open her eyes completely. “So, you didn't sleep.” She was silent for a moment and moved a bit closer to her lover to stroke over his cheek. “You are worried about something. That only means that I need to be by your side the whole time. If you promise me that we will go to bed early today, I can stay up too.” Even if she was way too tired to actually consider standing up.
Theodore leaned into her touch, and a small glint of sadness appeared in his eyes as he replied. “I truly can't hide anything from you. But you really don't have to keep yourself awake. As long as you are here next to me, everything is alright.”
The concubine propped her head up on her arm and scanned her lover's expression while stroking over his hair. “No. I worry about you if you are feeling unwell. You need to tell me how you are doing. You can't just keep silent and force yourself to deal with everything alone. I want to support you. I will be your wife, you know? I need to stay by your side and assist you like you always help me too.”
The emperor's smile slowly faded. “You are always helping me. There is no need for you to do more. And I will tell you. It's just that I need more time.” He paused for a moment before brushing through her hair and added the rest in a barely audible tone. “This is about my secret too. Even if you may have figured it out already.”
No, she hadn't. She had no clue no matter what he said.
Not even a single guess.
Blanche pushed herself up on her palm and moved closer to her lover. She climbed above him and pressed a kiss onto his lips before looking down at him with as much determination as she could muster. “I don't know anything except for you being aware of many things that I have no clue about. But that is fine. You could keep that secret forever, and I would never distrust you.” She'd be more than fine with it. “If you want to tell me, it only proves how much you trust me. I will never change my mind about you, no matter what you tell me. So, you can be at ease. Just like you accepted my secret, I will accept yours.”
Theodore let out a small laugh at that. He reached up to caress her cheek before pulling her down to him. “You are always on my side no matter what. I don't deserve so much love. That we met is truly a gift of the gods.” He tightened his hold on her, and she rested her head on his chest. He took a deep breath before beginning to speak in a low voice. “There is something else I have to tell you. I think I can do that now. This secret isn't as awful as the other one, but it still isn't good. I told Leon and Owen without caring for their opinion much, but if it's you, I can't help but be scared.”
She chimed in immediately. “You don't have to be. I trust you fully. Please tell me when you are ready. I will calm you down as soon as the words leave your mouth.”
Theodore's breathing hitched for a moment. He put his hand on the back of her head and stayed silent for a while. He inhaled deeply a few times before finally starting in an uncertain voice. “You know about the rumors about me being a tyrant, right? They started due to the dowager empress spreading that gossip as much as possible. She originally did that to make my life as the emperor harder. You know about her hating me because I lived with Althea and rejected her. But she had another reason to despise me. Did you hear about-” He cut himself off and took a deep breath before resuming. “About me allegedly killing my father?”
That was enough to make her guess what he would tell her.