Stelas cleared his throat. “So, there we were. You’d just put on that lingerie and talked the crowd of kobolds out of thinking you’d burnt down their neighbor’s house by blaming it all on Oglo.”
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
“Wait a second, Stelas,” said Isabelle. “Can I do something first?”
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
“What?” asked Stelas. “What do you have to do?”
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
“I’m ready to level up,” said Isabelle.
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
“Oh, okay,” said Stelas. “Go ahead and level up, then.”
Isabelle shrugged. Nothing happened. Remembering that she’d changed her shortcut, Isabelle thought, ‘Open Character Sheet.’
[Notice: You’ve reached level 34!]
[Notice: You have attribute and skill points to spend]
[Would you like to spend your points now?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
Attribute Points to Spend: 24
Hp:
352
H-Regen:
3/30sec
Mana:
151
M-Regen:
2/40sec
Stm:
146
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
A whopping twenty four points to spend. Wasn’t that nice? Isabelle decided to keep with her current point division scheme and give mana ten, stm ten, and hp four.
Skill Points to Spend: 24
Str:
90
Int:
65
Dx:
90
Wis:
63
Const:
65
Char:
47
As always, this was a little trickier. Isabelle figured adding to her int and wis could be a good move. She figured five points to both would work well. With fourteen more points to spend, Isabelle took five to char to give herself more speechcraft power, five to her str, and four to her const.
[Congratulations, you’ve finished leveling up!]
Character Status
Name:
Isabelle
Gender:
Female
Level:
34
Class:
Undefined
Race:
Human
Alignment:
Neutral-Neutral
Attributes
Hp:
356
H-Regen:
3/30sec
Mana:
161
M-Regen:
2/40sec
Stm:
156
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
Skill Points
Str:
95
Int:
70
Dx:
90
Wis:
68
Const:
69
Char:
52
Magic Ability Levels
Enchant:
3
Summon:
2
Heal:
3
Destroy:
13
Transmute:
2
Confuse:
3
Normal Ability Levels
Crafting:
8
Sneak:
12
Archery:
11
Lockpick:
3
Armed Combat:
16
Melee Combat:
4
Speechcraft:
15
Sleight Of Hand:
6
“Are you about done yet?” asked Stelas.
“Yes,” said Isabelle with a roll of her eyes. “I just finished, thanks.”
“Okay, great, now I can tell you what happened,” said Stelas.
“Okay. Where were you, again?” asked Isabelle. “Sorry, I hadn’t really been paying attention.”
“Ugh,” said Stelas. “You keep reminding me why it will be so sweet to enact my bloodthirsty revenge upon you one day, Isabelle.”
“Yes, yes, whatever,” said Isabelle. “Seriously though, what were you saying before I leveled up?”
“You’d just sat down after putting on that lingerie to up your speechcraft and convince the crowd of kobolds that Oglo had burned one of his neighbors alive,” said Stelas.
“Oh, so I did,” said Isabelle with a smile. “I’d forgotten about that.”
“And—” Stelas cleared his throat again, “—actually, would you mind taking me out of this burlap sack while I talk to you? It’s just a little laborious doing all this talking while inside this stinky sack where I can smell my own stale breath. Whew. Would not recommend.”
“Okay, fine,” said Isabelle. She took him out of the burlap sack and looked at the dark elf’s red eyes and gray skin. What a strange look, Isabelle thought.
[Error: no command ‘what a strange look’ found in system]
Isabelle rolled her eyes.
“Thanks,” said Stelas. “Though I’d also appreciate it if you weren’t holding me by my hair like that.”
Isabelle looked around and decided to set Stelas’ severed head on the glinting chest situated in the pile of carriage rubble that had originally caught her eye.
“Thanks again for your cooperation,” said Stelas. “It doesn’t mean I don’t fantasize about bringing you to your downfall, of course, but I appreciate it all the same.”
“Fair enough,” said Isabelle.
“So you were there in your lingerie, which once again was just kind of jarring,” said Stelas. “And you’d just burned down a stone house with some old alcohol, some magic, and my own head vis a vis being set on fire. And then you’d used the lingerie to boost your char so you could get the neighbors to think Oglo did it all, when really it had been you, intending to set fire to Oglo and his house but instead targeting the wrong place.”
“Okay, okay, I get it,” said Isabelle. “How about you focus on telling me the stuff I don’t know, Stelas?”
“Fine, that’s fine, I’ll be happy to,” said Stelas. “I just wanted to be absolutely certain you knew exactly what situation I’m describing here, and your own part in it, before I continued on.”
“Alright,” said Isabelle. “Whatever.”
“Now that that’s settled, I’ll continue,” said Stelas. “You see, then you started meditating. You set me back down in those awful house ashes and you crossed your legs and your eyes went wide, open, and stupid. W.O.S., some call it. Some being me. Then, of course, you shut those wide, open, and stupid eyes and actually started meditating. At first, nothing much happened for a good while. And I will admit, I’ve grown used to long periods of inactivity as a captive of yours, and for a good while I was just simply taking a snooze and can’t specifically recount what all happened. But I do know that, at some point, some guards came over and asked me why exactly the mage of shadows was sitting cross-legged in a pile of ashes wearing only lingerie. I just told them it was a thought experiment, and I will say my speechcraft isn’t necessarily high, but they seemed to buy it. However, not much longer after that the sky crafts started soaring over head.”
“Sky crafts?” asked Isabelle.
“Yes! Did I or did I not hear you and that guy who pretended to be a prince talking about the sky crafts earlier?” asked Stelas. “I mean, I figured you might be knowledgeable enough about them after that conversation, all things considered.”
“I guess I really didn’t take his whole thing with the sky crafts seriously,” said Isabelle. She looked at the naked man tied to her horse. “After all, he’s kind of a compulsive liar.”
“He’s a con man, actually,” said Stelas.
“What’s the difference?” asked Isabelle.
“Lots,” said Stelas. “Mainly, his own agency. But that’s beside the point. As time wore on, it became increasingly difficult for me to talk away the fact that the evil mage of shadows was just sitting in a pile of rubble wearing lingerie. I kept failing speechcraft checks, and soon enough those two Choxian goons showed up. They were so brainwashed, they didn’t give a rat’s ass what I said to them. I could’ve told them just about anything and they would’ve ignored me.”
“Choxian goons?” asked Isabelle. “Stelas, what do you mean? They were kobolds.”
“Oh my gods, really?” said Stelas. “Choxians are a religious sect. A cult, really. I mean, they’re all brainwashed. Like, majorly brainwashed. You don’t know about the cult of Chox?”
“I mean, I talked to that naked scammer guy on top of Lugano about it. And… I think I also talked to a bar owner in Wheatstar about it. And then of course he sent some goons out to kill me, as one does,” said Isabelle. “But that doesn’t mean I’m an expert. Come on, Stelas, if you’ve got more to tell me then please, by all means, divulge. In case you haven’t been paying attention, every time I try to loot them they spring back to life. I feel like I’m missing something.”
“Okay, let me just give you a bit of a breakdown,” said Stelas. “First of all, the Choxian Cult is serious business. It’s one of the biggest, if not the biggest, religious institutions in Beaubinte, and it is also one hundred percent a cult. The confirmation ceremony for Choxians is literally called a brainwashing. And they do very weird things there. Weird, systemic things.”
“Systemic things?” asked Isabelle. “But I thought only players like me and the Overlord had systems. So the Chox people have a system? Are they tied to the Overlord like you?”
“No, I wish,” said Stelas. “Because if they were, they would’ve helped me escape you and your terrible ways instead of just treating me as a captive. No, the Choxians do systemic things without having a system, Isabelle.”
“I’m sorry, what?” said Isabelle. “How the hell does that even work? How can you use a system when you don’t have one?”
“Nobody knows,” said Stelas. “And honestly, it’s kind of more of a rumor than anything else. But I feel inclined to believe it if what you’re saying is true about being unable to loot them. What other explanation could there be for them coming back to life?”
“That’s fair,” said Isabelle. “Though, maybe they’re necromancers or something.”
“Necromancers?” Stelas snorted. “I doubt that. Well, I don’t doubt that some of them are. But as a whole, Choxians are more concerned with Choxianism than much anything else.”
“And what exactly is Choxianism again, Stelas?” asked Isabelle.
“Oh my gods, I went over this already! It’s a cult!” said Stelas.
“But, like, what do they do? What do they believe?” asked Isabelle.
“Hell if I know,” said Stelas. “I’m not in some damned cult.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. She was getting nowhere fast with this line of questioning. “Forget about Choxians. Or at least Choxians in general, I mean. And tell me the rest of what happened while I was meditating.”
“Okay,” said Stelas. “Er, where were we again?”
“The Choxian goons?” asked Isabelle.
“Oh,” said Stelas. “Wait a second, I thought you didn’t want me to talk about Choxians any more.”
“I didn’t want you to talk aboutn them in general, Stelas,” said Isabelle. “Talking about the two Choxians that kidnapped us is just fine.”
“Okay, now I get it,” said Stelas. “Alright, so the Choxians kidnapped both of us. They saw you in the lingerie, and their first thought was that it was a very unchaste look, as Choxians are famously holders of the strong opinion that modesty is paramount to success in life. They also attributed your being captured by them to the fact that you were wearing the lingerie. Also, because you were wearing the lingerie, the Choxians said it was reason enough on its own to kidnap you and to rob you of all your belongings, because you’d already committed a vast amount of religious crimes.”
“So they justified kidnapping us by saying I was dressed like a slut?” asked Isabelle with a disgruntled sigh.
“Well, technically they said you were dressed like a whore,” said Stelas. “But, essentially, yes. And once they did, they felt ready and willing to take all your stuff, throw some of it in their inventories, some of it in this chest you’ve got me set on top of, and dress you in ‘more appropriate’ clothing, also known as those ugly peasant robes you’ve got on.”
“Wait, are you shitting me?” asked Isabelle. “My stuff is in the chest?”
“Some of your stuff is,” said Stelas. “And, of course, some of your stuff, including that Duke-sized bed mattress, is still in my inventory. The Choxians, like I said, don’t actually have a system, so they couldn’t take anything from me.”
“Uh, but how’d they take everything from me, then?” asked Isabelle. “That makes absolutely no sense.”
“Sorry, let me rephrase that,” said Stelas. “To be honest, I was trying to brag and make you feel bad, but hearing you call me out for being illogical made me uncomfortable, so I’m backpedaling.”
“Thanks for letting me know,” said Isabelle. She rolled her eyes.
“What actually happened was, the Choxians took one look at my inventory and figured that all I had was a bunch of useless crap,” said Stelas. A tear started to well up in his right eye. “They even said that I was ‘creepy’ and that they were only taking me to Chox in order to gawk at me and see if they could ‘expel the demons posessing me’ or whatever.” Stelas sobbed. “It was so humiliating!”
Isabelle snorted. “Classic Stelas. But, back to the important point, all of my stuff is in the chest?”
“Not all of it,” said Stelas. “A good deal of it is, sure, but they also took some things and put them in their own inventories. Which you apparently can’t access, for whatever reason. Not to rub it in or anything.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes yet again. Then, she focused on the chest.
[Chest - Locked]
“Fuck’s sake!” said Isabelle. “It’s fucking locked! Do you have a bobby pin in your inventory, Stelas?”
“Fuck if I know, I can’t even open the damned thing since I’ve been beheaded,” said Stelas.
Isabelle focused on Stelas’ head, concentrating on seeing if there were any bobby pins in his inventory.
Inventory: Stelas Stelford
Item
Traits
Bobby Pin x2
n/a
Lockpick x1
+5 lockpick
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Nice. Isabelle took both. She was interested in trying out the formal lockpick. Apparently it added five to her lockpicking level, which would come in handy seeing as otherwise her level was only three.
Inventory: Stelas Stelford
Item
Traits
n/a
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Perfect. Isabelle focused on the chest again.
[Pick Chest with Lockpick or Bobby Pin?]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Error: Please specify which item to use]
Isabelle thought, ‘Lockpick.’
[+5 lockpick]
[Attempting lockpick…]
[…]
[Lockpick succeeded]
[Achievement Unlocked: Use a lockpick]
[Lockpick increased to level 4]
Nice. Now Isabelle could finally look at her inventory! What a treat. She focused on the chest.
[Loot Chest?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Chest
Item
Traits
Sleek Adult Golden Dragon Armor (human)
+5 fire resist, +17 hp, +19 str, +14 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Boots
+3 fire resist, +7 stm, +6 dx, +3 str, +9 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Gauntlets
+3 fire resist, +8 damage, +6 stm, +10 dx, +5 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Cloak
+7 fire resist, +6 char, +6 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Hooksword x2
+3 fire damage, +8 damage, +5 stm, +3 dx, +4 carry weight
This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.
Adult Golden Dragon Rapier
+5 fire damage, +9 damage, +3 str, +6 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Claymore
+6 fire damage, +12 damage, +7 str, +10 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Bow
+5 fire damage, +4 damage, +5 dx, +3 carry weight
Adult Golden Dragon Helmet
+12 str, +8 char, +5 speechcraft, +4 carry weight
Overlord’s Flaming Yellow Katana
+48 damage, +22 str, +37 dx, +11 stm, +10 carry weight
Overlord’s Black Silver Hammer (enchanted)
+50 damage, +50 str, +10 const, +8 stm, +13 carry weight
Overlord's Glorious Electrifying Axe (enchanted)
+45 damage, +48 str, +18 const, +15 stm, +12 carry weight
Steel Warhammer of Electrocution (enchanted) (poisoned)
+18 damage, +11 str, +8 const, +5 stm, +11 carry weight
Warforged Gears x4
+4 carry weight
Scimitar (poisoned)
+1 poison, +8 damage, +2 dx
Overlord’s Sending Stone
+1 carry weight
Poisoning Dagger x2
+1 poison, +6 damage, +1 sneak level, +1 carry weight
Black Steel Armor (yuan-ti)
+3 str, +2 damage, +1 const, +10 carry weight
Ropes of Binding (enchanted)
+1 carry weight
Steel Mace
+10 damage, +1 str, +4 carry weight
Mithril Ascot
+15 str, +10 const, +0.5 carry weight
Platinum Choaker Necklace
+8 char
Spun Silk Gloves
+5 char, +0.5 carry weight
Ruby Studded Pocket Knife
+1 stealth, +3 sneak, +0.5 carry weight
Staff of Paralyzation
+5 mana, +4 carry weight
Steel Armor (warforged)
+5 damage, +10 str, +5 const, +10 carry weight
Amulet of Fire Resist
+10 fire resist, +0.5 carry weight
Ring of Hoarding
+50 carrying capacity
Young Red Dragon Scale Pendant
+10 char
Sleek Young Red Dragon Armor (human)
+3 fire resist, +7 hp, +12 str, +13 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Boots
+2 fire resist, +4 stm, +4 dx, +2 str, +7 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Gauntlets
+2 fire resist, +5 damage, +5 stm, +5 dx, +4 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Cloak
+5 fire resist, +3 char, +3 stm, +5 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Dagger x2
+2 fire damage, +5 damage, +3 stm, +1 dx, +2 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Glaive
+2 fire damage, +7 damage, +2 str, +6 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Bow
+3 fire damage, +2 damage, +3 dx, +3 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Helmet
+7 str, +5 char, +3 speechcraft, +3 carry weight
Potion of Mind Reading
+0.5 carry weight
Hunter’s Crossbow of Chills (enchanted)
+3 frost damage, +7 damage, +2 dx, +4 carry weight
Arrows of Chills x27 (enchanted)
+2 frost damage, +1 damage
Necromancer Robes
+10 mana, +3 confuse, +3 enchant, +1 destroy, +4 carry weight
Ring of Improved Destroy
+3 destroy
Staff of the Undead
+5 mana, +2 carry weight
Amulet of Lesser Confusion
+3 confuse
Ring of Increased Mana
+5 mana
Flask of Whiskey
n/a
Shrouded Cowl
+1 sneak level, +1.5 carry weight
Poisoning Dagger x2
+1 poison, +6 damage, +1 sneak level, +1 carry weight
Letter from the SNS
n/a
Steel Longsword
+5 str, +5 damage, +8 carry eight
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (human)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (human)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Capenter’s Guild Ring
+5 crafting
Noble Robes
+6 char, +2 carry weight
Noble Boots
+4 dx, +4 carry weight
Necklace of Greater Speechcraft
+10 speechcraft, +0.5 carry weight
Map of Prison grounds
+ 0.5 carry weight
Steel Gloves
+1 str, +3 damage, +1 carry weight
Orcish Longbow
+5 damage, +1 dx, +1.5 carry weight
Spell Tome of Minor Destroying Magic
+5 carry weight
Spell Tome of Intermediate Destroying Magic
+5 carry weight
Spell Tome of Minor Enchanting Magic
+5 carry weight
Spell Tome of Minor Healing Magic
+5 carry weight
Idlungie x2
+0.5 carry weight
Butter Tongue x5
+1 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Toadblossom x30
+0.1 carry weight
Daggerbud Berries x17
+3 poison, +2 stun, +0.1 carry weight
Giant Spider Armor (human)
+4 hp, +8 str, +13 carry weight
Giant Spider Gauntlets
+4 damage, +3 stm, +1 dx, +3 carry weight
Giant Spider Boots
+4 stm, +2 str, +1 dx, +5 carry weight
Gold nail coverings
+5 damage, +3 dx, +0.5 carry weight
Golden boots
+1 str, +3 carry weight
Potion of Endless Stamina x2
+0.5 carry weight
Potion of Greater Health x2
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Potion of Greater Mana x3
+20 mana, +0.5 carry weight
Potion of Greater Health x3
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Potion of Invulnerability
+0.5 carry weight
Potion of Excellent Health x3
+50 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Potion of Giant Strength
+50 str, +0.5 carry weight
Necklace of Clam Husbandry
+0.5 carry weight
Dragon Scroll x3
n/a
Gold-lined dragon pillows
n/a
Gold-framed painting by artist known only to the dragon
n/a
Golden pitcher
n/a
Golden necklace x4
n/a
Amethyst x5
n/a
Garnet x3
n/a
Lapiz lazuli x2
n/a
Small gold idol
n/a
Golden chalice set
n/a
Banded agate
n/a
Hematite x4
n/a
Azurite x3
n/a
Blue quartz x2
n/a
Emerald x2
n/a
Palace Dungeon Door Key
n/a
Poison Pills
+5 poison
Gate Key
n/a
Bobby Pin x10
n/a
“Hey, what the hell is this?!” said Isabelle. “Literally everything from my inventory is in here except for my lingerie and my money!”
“It’s Chox’s money now, player!” said a familiar voice.
Isabelle turned around to see Zig and Zag standing there, pointing longswords at her with malice.
[Combat mode activated]