Isabelle braced herself as the remaining members of the Cloud Reach Guard charged towards her and her party, weapons drawn. She could see a strange, semiopaque shimmer circling around their bodies. These must have been the anti-magic fields they’d been referencing.
“Stand down, player!” shouted the guard at the forefront.
Isabelle had a thought. She wondered if a breath weapon counted as magic or not. After all, it didn’t cost mana, did it? It used up some of her stm instead. So it seemed like there was a pretty decent chance that her breath weapon might just make it past these obnoxious guards’ anti-magic fields. So, Isabelle opened her mouth.
“Uh, what the fuck?” said the guard. He continued to charge forward.
Isabelle thought, ‘Use Gust of Wind.’
[Stamina 89%]
Isabelle suddenly felt a forceful strength of air swirl up in her chest and then fire out of her mouth like a gust of a tempest. It blasted through the air and flung three of the Cloud Reach guards into the air. They screamed in fear, and the other guards that were charging toward her immediately dropped their weapons.
[8554 damage dealt]
[Combat mode deactivated]
[Achievement unlocked: use a breath weapon]
[Achievement unlocked: do damage against enemies using anti-magic fields]
[Achievment unlocked: exit combat mode by causing your enemies to surrender]
Isabelle was feeling quite accomplished, and more than a little smug. Three new achievments! Also, her breath weapon had been quite powerful. She was excited to get more opportunities to use it.
Isabelle noticed that the guards were still running towards her, though they did not hold weapons. Combat mode wasn’t activated, so that meant they weren’t going to hurt her, right?
The closer and closer the guards got, the more paranoid Isabelle felt. Even if she wasn’t in combat mode, she didn’t trust these people. Last time she’d let the Cloud Reach guard talk to her after she’d slaing a dragon, they led her and her party into a dastardly trap! With that in mind, Isabelle opened her mouth and thought, ‘Use Burst of Water.’ After all, if she was going to juse a breath weapon again, Isabelle figured she might as well use her other one.
[Stamina 74%]
Isabelle felt a cold weight rush out from her esophagus as a thick, salty wave of wave sprayed out of her mouth and pushed the guards away, slamming them into the ground and sending them rolling along in its forceful current til they all ended up a couple blocks away from her and her party.
[10889 damage dealt]
Impressively, none of the guards were dead, though a few of them were limping and most of them hacked up some water. Slowly, they began lumbering towards Isabelle and her party again. This time they were waving white flags.
Isabelle ushered Tahsi and Jingles over to her. “Hey, what do you guys think? You think we can trust them?”
“Fuck if I know,” said Tahsi. He took a bite of bread. “They seem awfully persistent in coming towards us, though.”
“Yea, what Tahsi said,” said Jingles. “I too am pretty shocked they haven’t just scurried away by now. I know I would have.”
“Everybody know you would have, Jingles,” said Isabelle with an eyeroll. “But clearly these guys aren’t necessarily huge pussies.”
“Hey now, I’m not huge,” said Sir Jingles. “Also, can I just say I don’t appreciate the insulting tone you’re taking towards cat kind, here, Isabelle. Might I remind you that, on your request, I fired multiple poisoning arrows at the dead dragon you’re standing close to? And who’s to say whether you would have those fun little breath weapons of yours if I hadn’t.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. Jingles really did like giving himself more than enough credit, didn’t he? It was beside the point, however, because the guards, all of whom managed to still be hanging on to life in some capacity, had arrived.
“Oh, great dragon slayer, we bessech you!” said a guard. “Please, for the love of the gods, accept our humble apology for trying to kill you just moments earlier.”
“Yes, please so,” said another guard. “Along with that, please accept our humble apology for tricking you and your party into coming to that trap set at the palace. We had to follow the orders of the Duke, you see.”
“Please, dragon slayer—” said yet a third guard, “—take this delicious home-cooked muffin as a sign of our peace and reverie.” The guard held up a remarkably scrumptious-looking raspberry muffin.
Isabelle pretended to reach for the muffin. But, she didn’t trust these fuckers as far as she could throw them with a breath weapon. So, Isabelle instead focused her vision on the muffin. It was time for the system to do the talking.
[Add Raspberry Muffin (poisoned) to inventory?]
Isabelle laughed, and then thought yes. The muffin disappeared out of the kobold guard’s hand. He gasped, and the other guards started to shake and quiver. This only made Isabelle laughed harder.
“What’s so funny?” asked a guard with a stutter.
“You are too fucking cute,” said Isabelle. “God, I hate Cloud Reach.”
“Which god are you referring to, dragon slayer?” asked a guard nervously.
“The god of go fuck yourself,” said Isabelle. She opened her mouth and—
“Please, please, not again with the breath weapons!” said a guard. They all dropped to their knees and bowed before her. “Oh, gods, please don’t kill us!”
“Yes, oh gods please!” said another guard. “But if you do kill us, player, please do make it quick. We don’t want to suffer any more than we must, we do hope you understand.”
“Yes, please kill us quickly, player,” said the guard. “We submit! We submit!”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. She looked at Tahsi. “Hey, uh, what the hell do you want me to do with these guys?”
“You’re asking me?” asked Tahsi. Some bread fell out of his mouth.
“Yes,” said Isabelle. “I mean, these are your… people, aren’t they?”
“Was that some sort of comment about them all being kobolds, Isabelle?” asked Tahsi.
“Kind of,” said Isabelle. “It was also a comment about you being local to Cloud Reach. You know, since you spent your whole life here. I figured if anybody knew what I ought to do with these awful, double-crossing, backstabbing guards, it would be you.”
“Wait a second!” said Sir Jingles. “What about me?”
“I don’t know, Jingles,” said Isabelle. “What about you?”
“Um, are you serious? What about me and my opinion!” said Sir Jingles. “You only asked Tahsi what he thought, and what’s more, you only asked him because he’s from here! How do you know I’m not from here?”
“I mean—” Isabelle cleared her throat, “—are you from Thres, Jingles?”
“Oh, gods no,” said Sir Jingles. “I’m not even from the Protectorate of Ozi! I’m an adventurer.”
“Interesting way to call yourself a refugee,” said Tahsi through a mouthful of bread.
“You say refugee like it’s a bad thing!” said Sir Jingles.
Tahsi raised a scaly finger, but Isabelle interrupted.
“Hey, um, not sure where we’re going with this—” said Isabelle, “—but I’d rather focus on what’s important. That is to say, I’d rather focus on what we’re going to do with these guards.”
“Well, they’ve obviously got something up their sleeves,” said Tahsi. “After all, they just tried to poison you, Isabelle. And they charged at us with anti-magic fields!”
“Speaking of anti-magic fields, I wonder if we can use those,” said Isabelle. She turned to look at the guards, all of whom were still kneeling pitifully at her feet. “Give us your anti-magic fields!”
One of the guards started to chuckle.
“What’s so funny?” asked Isabelle.
The guard stopped laughing.
“No, seriously, I need to know. What’s funny? Aren’t you scared of me? Don’t you want to comply with my wishes so that I don’t kill you?” asked Isabelle.
“Dragonslayer, if I may call you that,” said a guard as they slowly rose from the ground.
“You may,” said Isabelle.
“Excellent. Dragonslayer, I believe that my fellow guard was lightly chuckling because the anti-magic fields we are currently protected by are not physical objects that we can hand over to you,” said the guard. “You see, they’re spells, put in place by a moderately powerful wizard. As such, we can’t really give them to you. Also, they’re going to expire fairly soon, as it were.”
“Well, then—” Isabelle said, “—can you offer me the spell tome that the anti-magic field spell came from?”
“You’d have to ask the wizard, miss,” said the guard.
“Did you just call me miss?” asked Isabelle. “I thought you were going to call me Dragonslayer.”
“Yes, right. Terribly sorry, miss Dragonslayer,” said the guard.
“Why does it have to be gendered?” asked Isabelle.
“It doesn’t!” said the guard.
“Then don’t gender it!” said Isabelle.
“Yes, of course, ma’am,” said the guard.
Isabelle turned to Tahsi. “Should I kill them?”
“Why don’t you ask me?” asked Sir Jingles.
“Along with that, why don’t you ask me?” asked Stelas’ severed head from within the burlap sack that Isabelle still held in her hand. “Is it just because you happen to know that I would always slaughter the fools? I would be so glad to string their guts in the air. I’d be thrilled to hang them up from trees by their thumbs for hours and then bleed them out from their jugulars… oh gods would I be thrilled…”
“Did that burlap sack just speak?!” asked a guard.
“I’m not a burlap sack!” said Stelas. “I’m a severed head inside the burlap sack! And I happen to have a body too, and one day, one glorious day, my head and my body will once again be reunited, and I shall finally enact my wicked revenge upon this player that has so terribly—”
“That’s enough, Stelas,” said Isabelle. She looked back at the guards. They were shaking. “God, you all sure are a bunch of pussies.”
“Again with the species hate!” said Sir Jingles.
“Also, what god are you referring to again?” asked Tahsi. “Just, you know, for clarification purposes.”
“I already said, it’s the god of go fuck yourself!” said Isabelle.
“Somebody’s in a mood,” said the cloud reach guard that had stood up. “Is it that time of the month?”
“I’m sorry, what the fuck did you just ask me?” asked Isabelle.
“I think he was asking if you’re on the rag,” said the shaky voice of yet another guard.
“That’s it, you’re all dead,” said Isabelle.
“Well, that answers that question,” said a guard. They all snickered. Then, the semiopaque circles around them all faded away.
“Ah, shit,” said a guard. “There went our anti-magic fields.”
Isabelle raised her left hand and opened it wide.
[Combat mode activated]
Isabelle thought, ‘Cast Shoot Lightning,’ making sure to power it up with a lot of mana.
[Mana 67%]
Lightning strung out of her fingertips and rattled over the standing guard. It then leapt from him to the closest kneeling guard, and so on, and in an instant every guard was lit up with electricity.
[15607 damage dealt]
[9774 electrocution damage dealt]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[‘Cloud Reach Guard’ is dead]
[Combat mode deactivated]
“Wow, Isabelle, that was ruthless,” said Tahsi. “Want some bread?”
“No, I’m good. Thanks though,” said Isabelle.
“You should’ve tortured them as I suggested,” said Stelas.
“Why the hell do you insist on giving your input?” asked Isabelle.
“Um, maybe because being a severed head that you use to store all of your loot gets a little boring and lonely from time to time? And maybe it’s nice to just get a little bit of interaction? Maybe some conversation here and there?” said Stelas. “I had feelings, you know.”
“Hey, Isabelle, are you going to loot those guards?” asked Jingles.
“Of course I am!” said Isabelle.
“Oh. Okay,” said Jingle.
“Why do you ask?” asked Isabelle.
“I mean, well…” Jingles looked at the corpses wistfully. “It’s been a while since I got a good loot in. And you just looted the dragon. So, I don’t know, it just seemed like an opportunity for some fun.”
Isabelle sighed. “Fine, you can loot them. Only, let me do something first.”
Isabelle focused on the first dead guard.
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Copper (5)
n/a
Gold (10)
n/a
Isabelle took only the copper and the gold from this guard.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Isabelle then looked to the next dead guard and focused on his body.
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Letter to Family
n/a
Copper (3)
n/a
Gold (22)
n/a
Isabelle grimaced. She didn’t want to see this guard’s family letter. She took the copper and the gold.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Letter to Family
n/a
Isabelle then focused on the next dead guard.
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Gold (5)
n/a
Only five gold? And no copper? What a lame guard. Isabelle took the gold begrudgingly.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
On to the next guard.
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Copper (5)
n/a
Gold (10)
n/a
Yea, that was okay. Isabelle took the copper and gold.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Only two more to go!
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Guard Key
n/a
Copper (1)
n/a
Gold (3)
n/a
Huh. Isabelle wasn’t sure what the key lead to, but she was interested enough to take it along with the copper and the gold.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
One last guard.
[Loot ‘Cloud Reach Guard’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Copper (5)
n/a
Damn. Only copper from this one. Isabelle still took it, though.
Inventory: Cloud Reach Guard
Item
Traits
Cloud Reach Guard Shield
+3 str, +3 const, +10 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Helmet (kobold)
+2 hp, +1 str, +4.5 carry weight
Cloud Reach Guard Armor (kobold)
+3 hp, +4 str, +8 carry weight
Well, that was that, then.
“Alright, Sir Jingles,” said Isabelle. “Loot away!”
Jingles smiled and scurried over to loot the bodies. However, his smile slowly dropped to a frown as he focused on each body and attempted to loot.
“Isabelle, what the hell did you do?” asked Jingles. “Did you just take all of their money and anything else that was cool? Literally all I’m seeing here is stupid Cloud Reach guard armor! And it’s all for kobolds! I’m not a damn kobold!”
“It’s not like they had a ton of money in their inventories to begin with, anyway,” said Isabelle. “Really, I barely got any gold out of them at all. And even less copper.”
“Copper?” asked Jingles. “Isabelle, why would you even care about copper if you managed to loot any gold? Copper is worth so, so much less than gold that it’s silly to even care about it.”
“Maybe I just like watching the numbers in my inventory go up, okay?” said Isabelle. “Is that so wrong, Jingles?”
“It is when you pretend to let me loot after taking all the good stuff,” said Jingles. He sighed. “Oh, well. Back to licking my butthole, then.”
Isabelle grimaced as Sir Jingles leapt away with an eager smile.
“Ah, shit,” said Isabelle, looking at the dead bodies of the guards.
“What?” asked Tahsi. “Do you want some bread or something?”
“No, it’s not that,” said Isabelle. “I just meant to ask one of ‘the guards who the wizard was that cast the anti-magic spell on them. Of course, I guess I can just reanimate one of them and ask.”
“You can do that?” asked Tahsi.
“Of course I can, I’ve got a staff of necromancy!” said Isabelle. “It’s the same way I reanimated all those guards back in the palace to make an army of undead warriors.”
“Oh, that makes sense,” said Tahsi.
Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 251.9/282
Item
Traits
Staff of the Undead
+5 mana, +2 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Staff of the Undead equipped]
[+5 mana]
Isabelle raised the staff towards the nearest dead guard, concentrated, and thought, ‘Cast Raise Dead.’
[Mana 89%]
Purple smoke shot out from the staff and coiled around the guard. His body jiggled and shook and glowed a light purple hue. Then, he climbed to his feet and smiled awkwardly at Isabelle.
“Hello, Isabelle,” said the guard. “How can I be of service to you?” He twitched a couple of times, like his body was still getting rattled with electricity.
“What’s the name of the wizard that cast the anti-magic spell on you?” asked Isabelle.
“Okay, well, my mind’s a bit… fuzzy,” said the kobold. A couple of sparks shot out from his mouth as he spoke. “I think it started with an O… Okko? No… Otla? No, no… It was definitely ‘O’ something, though. Like, maybe an O, and then a g. But what in the hell kind of name starts with ‘Og’?”
Isabelle could feel her eyes getting wide as she had a sudden realization. “Oglo.”
“Yes! Yes, that’s it, Oglo, that guy who trains prisoners at the Citadel!” said the guard. “I’m pretty impressed you guessed that, Isa—”
Isabelle thought, ‘Cancel spell.’ The zombified kobold guard dropped to the ground.
Isabelle smiled. It was time to finally complete the quest she’d started way back when, to complete the quest that she’d started back when she’d never even seen a dragon. It was time to find Oglo and kill that backstabbing, loot-stealing bastard once and for all.
“Isabelle? Is everything okay?” asked Tahsi. “Would you like some nice, calming bread?”
“Not right now, Tahsi,” said Isabelle. “Bread can wait. I’ve got revenge on the menu.”
Tahsi took a big chomp of bread. “Gods be with us.”