The Overlord soared through the air, clutched in the awful talons of the young green dragon that had swooped in and snatched him like some sort of foul worm from the courtyard. He felt nauesous and incredibly frustrated. Somehow, in a matter of moments, he’d gone from all-imposing, all-powerful Overlord to, well, to this. Helpless in the hands of a dragon. Of course he tried to use any number of his awesome powers to stop this dragon from snatching him away, but every attempt was met with a similar system notification.
[Error: Your current debuffs do not allow you to use this]
Everything. Here the Overlord was, locked in combat mode, and he couldn’t even cast a spell! It was mainly due to a specific debuff known as ‘Fear of Dragons,’ something that the Overlord never even realized he had before recently, when Isabelle had melted all of her gold away with a vial of his own sinster cauldron goo, thereby imparting all of the properties of that large sum of gold to the Overlord himself. Which, badly enough, made him terribly attractive to dragons. He could see the three gold wyrmlings chasing after his young green captor, and wondered if he’d get caught in a sort of air battle between dragons. How dreadful.
The Overlord felt more hopeless in this moment than he had in, well, in two hundred years. He’d gotten so used to dominating everything that this new knowledge of weakness was hitting him like a big bag of stone masonry, and it didn’t seem to be letting up any time soon.
The Overlord wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t. Every time he tried, every time he closed his eyes with a hope to nod off, he got yet another terrible error.
[Error: Sleep is disabled]
“What the fuck even is this?!” said the Overlord. He thought, ‘Enable sleep.’
[Error: You do not have the priveledges necessary to enable sleep]
The priveledges? The Overlord didn’t have the priveledges to enable sleep? On his own system?
[Clarification: You are currently logged in to your system as a standard party member. Please log in as admin to enable and disable actions like sleep.]
What? Log in as admin? What in the hell was the system even talking about? Was the Overlord himself not the supreme administrator of his own system?
[Clarification: No.]
[Your system has undergone a restructuring process after two of your party members cloned it and created their own system.]
[These ex-party members, while in the process of cloning your system, used the same vulnerability in your system to install a new user management system. Currently, ‘Maviel’ and ‘Sylfir’ are both set as administrators of your system. This accounts for one of the many debuffs you’re experiencing right now, namely the ‘Family Controls’ debuff.]
The Overlord groaned in agony. This couldn’t be real. Not only had his queen and his mistress apparently absconded without him and copied his system for their own uses, but they’d locked his system so that only they could control it! How in the hell was the Overlord supposed to manage to do anything if he couldn’t even control his system? If he couldn’t even sleep?
[Clarification: This is a very open ended question that the system cannot rightly answer.]
“Gods damnit!” said the Overlord. His throat felt sore from screaming.
Further and further did the dragon fly. Far away from Cloud Reach, far past Thres itself, and over the ocean. It smelled salty, and a few times through the travels the Overlord found himself pecked at by the oddly brave gulls that didn’t seem at all fazed by the dragon carrying him. Every once and awhile he’d look and see that the three wyrmlings were still trailing him and his captor.
After what felt like centuries, but was probably more like a day and a half, the Overlord noticed that the dragon was approaching land. The closer he got, he realized it was a small, tropical island with a large volcano. The dragon circled the island for a couple hours, slowly getting closer and closer. The Overlord watched as fog disappated and the details of the island became more and more lush with the dragon’s every encirclement, and soon he was being flown towards a large, gaping hole in the side of the volcano. The Overlord saw a horde of bats swarm out into the open air and spread into nothingness as the dragon flew closer to the opening, and soon he was submerged in darkness. The Overlord could sense that his flight was soon ending, though he didn’t know whether to be relieved or nervous.
Entering the cave, everything was dark and musty. It seemed almost pitch black. Amazingly enough, the dragon seemed unaffected by this, weaving to and fro at an almost breakneck speed as it zoomed through increasingly narrower caverns. Sometimes, the Overlord would scrape against the side of a rocky cavern wall, taking 1 or 2 hp of damage. Sick of all this unbearable uncertainty, the Overlord thought, ‘Cast Night Vision.’
[Error: You cannot cast a spell at this time due to your applicable debuffs]
The Overlord groaned and checked his inventory.
[Error: Your inventory is corrupted. Please restart your inventory menu handler to restore it.]
That was another new error. The Overlord thought, ‘Restart Inventory Menu Handler.’
[Error: You do not have the priveledges necessary to restart inventory menu handler.]
“What in the fucking hell is this shit?!” said the Overlord.
But, even though it was frustrating, the Overlord didn’t need to worry about night vision for long. After but a moment more the dragon popped out of a tunnel and into a huge, expansive cavern that was lite with the wonderful and near-endless shimmer of gold and treasure. Yes, everywhere the Overlord looked, he saw gold, gold, and more gold. All of these gold pieces glowed with light, which seemed to be reflecting from a series of gold mirrors and also from scattered pools of water that had some sort of wondrous bioluminescent fungus floating through them. It was really beautiful, and had the Overlord not been a recently disgraced Overlord with a freshly broken and corrupted system he would’ve been in awe. Indeed, even considering all those things he was in a sort of awe.
“Wow,” said the Overlord. “Just… fucking… wow.”
The dragon didn’t respond, though it did fly over the piles of gold until it reached a round mound where there looked to be a small gap in the treasure. It then released the Overlord abruptly. He dropped through the air and landed in a painful pile of riches.
[-5 hp]
The dragon then flew off, zooming over pile after pile of gold. It was almost as if it had considered the Overlord but another static, thoughtless pile of treasure, and it expected him to just lay in place now that he’d been dropped there.
“Fuck’s sake,” said the Overlord. “So this is what it’s come to.”
The Overlord noticed now the unbearable scent of sulfur. Somehow, it was stronger in this dragon hoard than it was when the dragon itself had been carrying him around! Wasn’t that something else.
The Overtlord clambered to his feet, shaking bits of gold off his person and sighing in frustration. He didn’t deserve such a frustrating fate. Treated as a dragon’s trinket? That was just absurd! Ridiculous! Unfair! He could feel the anger bubbling within his chest, powerful anger. The Overlord had already reverted back to his first form, but if he kept getting frustrated it wouldn’t be long until he transformed up.
[Error: Vigorous Rage is not available at this time]
“Gods damnit!” said the Overlord. He picked up a small golden pony and chucked it across the room with all the force he could muster. It landed in a pile of gold unsatisfyingly. “Ugh! I’m in fucking hell!” He kicked another pile of gold, but this one had some gold swords in it that stuck on his leg and dealt him some damage.
[-2 hp]
[-3 hp]
“Oh my gods, this is ridiculous,” said the Overlord. “I almost wish that damned player had just killed me instead of leaving me in such a state. And to think, it was really my own party members that did this to me! What a shitshow.”
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The Overlord wondered if he was completely blocked from casting spells now that the dragon had left the room. He thought, ‘Cast Greater Divine Insight.’
[Mana 77%]
[Error: You are not eligible to recieve temporary buffs at this time]
The Overlord rolled his eyes. He didn’t need the buffs, he needed to summon his damn confidant!
[Summoning Confidant]
A bright pink puff of smoke appeared, and standing before the Overlord was a familiar, partially translucent Satyr.
“Yea, baby, take it off. Take it all off,” said the satyr, dancing around a little.
“Um, Tylos?” asked the Overlord.
“All off my body, that is. I want to be totally hairless,” said Tylors, running his fingers through his hairy goat legs. “As a satyr, it’ll be a new experience. And you and I both know how much I love to experiment with new… experiences.”
“Tylos!” screamed the Overlord. He could feel himself growing red in the face.
“Ah, shit, he summoned me again. Yea, I know, what an invasive prick, right? Yes, yes, one second, baby, one second,” said Tylos. He turned and grimaced at the Overlord. “What the hell do you want?”
“Tylos! Such disrespect shown to your Overlord!” said the Overlord.
“Nah, you’re not my Overlord,” said Tylos.
“What? What do you mean, not your Overlord, you insolent shrimp?” asked the Overlord. He noticed a hint of desparation color his tone of voice.
“It’s the new socio-political movement in Beaubinte, and it’s all the rage,” said Tylos. He held up a translucent propaganda scroll. “See what it says?”
The Overlord regarded the scroll. He could still make out the details on it, though it was translucent. Up at the top it read: ‘PROPAGANDA WEEKLY: WHO’S THE OVERLORD? WELL, HE’S NOT MY OVERLORD!’ Underneath the heading, it had a big paragraph eplaining how the Overlord had hopelessly failed in front of Isabelle, the new player, and how he had overthrown by two of his own party members due to overly modifying his system and leaving open backdoor exploits. Worse still, under this paragraph was a caricature of the Overlord, with a butt drawn where his face should’ve been.
“Um. Just what in the fuck am I looking at, Tylos?” asked the Overlord.
“Why, you’re looking at Propaganda Weekly, of course!” said Tylos. “It’s quickly become one of my favorite news scrolls, I must say. Of course it used to always be just pages and pages talking about how great you are, so this dramatic change in message and sentiment is more than entertaining. The people of Beaubinte really love it.”
The Overlord sighed. “Gods. I’m sure they do.”
Tylos did a double take. “What? You’re not going to fly into rage and incinerate a chair or something?”
“I can’t, gods damnit!” said the Overlord. “My system’s been corrupted, or hacked, or what have you!”
[Clarification: Your system has been hacked and corrupted, The Overlord.]
The Overlord groaned.
“Oh, wowie,” said Tylos. “I can’t imagine that would be fun, no siree. That’s really too bad, bud.”
“Stop addressing me in such a condescending manner!” said the Overlord. “Remember who I am!”
“I remember who you were, back when you were Debsor Dhiurthu. And I remember when you were the Overlord. But I think that time has kind of set sail by now, huh? The Overlord time, I mean, of course,” asked Tylos.
“What? No! No, I’m still the Overlord!” said the Overlord.
“Hmm. Are you, any more, though? Or are you just a guy with a half-baked system who’s known for being a huge dick?” asked Tylos.
“Of course it’s huge!” said the Overlord.
“Listen, I’m going to call you by the nickname I know you by now, buddy,” said Tylos. “And if you don’t like it, well… let’s just say I’m not really concerned about you raising my hometown any more, mkay?”
“No! No, Tylos, don’t you fucking dare!” said the Overlord.
“Alright, Debsor, by the blinking of my translucent flesh I can tell this spell you’ve managed to cast is wearing thin. So I’ll chat with you later,” said Tylos. “Oh, did I say your full first name? Sorry. Um, chat with you later, Debbie.”
“Don’t call me Debbie!” said the Overlord.
“Bye, Debbie!” said Tylos as he disappeared in a poof of pink smoke.
“Oh my gods,” said the Overlord. “I can’t fucking believe he just called me Debbie! I haven’t been called Debbie in two hundred years! This is just… I just… ugh.” He sat down on a large pile of gold coins and started to sob. “Man, fuck my life.”
----------------------------------------
Maviel and Sylfir walked in step down the long, elegant hallways of the ex-Overlord’s palace. They were flanked by Babqex, the ever-attentive little blue imp. He was holding a notepad and writing down their every command.
“First things first, all of these gods awful things have got to be destroyed,” said Maviel as she pointed at a large and detailed statue of the Overlord. “Not only are they obtrusive, obnoxious, and unecessary, but I think I’ve seen enough of the Overlord and his bulging muscles to last me another two hundred years. At least.”
“Okay, but can I keep a few of them?” asked Sylfir.
“What? I thought you hated him!” said Maviel. She looked into Sylfir’s light pink eyes with hurt. “Why would you want any of these damned statues?”
“Look, this is how I see it—” said Sylfir with a smile that reeled Maviel right back in effortlessly, “—love the body, hate the man. You get me?”
Maviel sighed. “Yea, I get you. Gods, if we could just take the Overlord’s body and remove his personality, we’d be set. Well, that, and smooth the muscles out a little. He always looked a little rough, a little bit like a wrinkly cocount or something. It was kind of gross.”
“That’s why I want to keep some of the statues, Maviel!” said Sylfir. Her eyes lit up as she traced the statue’s contours with her soft, delicate hands. “Look at this. It’s a near-exact replica of the Overlord right in front of us, except without any annoying powers or personality, and his muscles are even a little smoother than they were in person on this statue! Why, all we need is a good animate object spell and… well… let’s just say we can have the Overlord any way we want him.”
Maviel’s eyes went wide. “Oh my gods, Sylfir, you’re a genius.”
Sylfir smiled and winked. “I try.”
“Right then,” Maviel turned to Babqex. “Have… say… three of the Overlord’s statues moved to the royal bedchamber immediately!”
“Oh, yes, of course,” stuttered Babqex. “Would you also like for me to procure you and Sylfir a spell tome with an animate object spell?”
“Yes, that would be lovely, Babqex,” said Maviel. The three of them continued their walk down the hall, eventually coming upon a familiar painting. It was the painting of the Overlord riding a white horse and stabbing at a dragon with a spear. “Now, this damn thing is obviously innacurate.”
“Yes,” Sylfir said with a giggle. “Terribly misleading. We ought to have another painting done with the Overlord running away from a dragon with tears spraying out from under his hood.”
“Babqex, are you hearing this? Are you taking notes?” asked Maviel.
“Yes, yes, of course, my queens,” said Babqex. “Now then, what shall be done with the current painting?”
“Whatever you want,” said Maviel. “As long as it’s not hanging up on my wall.”
“It’s my wall too, Maviel,” said Sylfir.
Maviel sighed. “Whatever you want, as long as it’s not hanging up on our wall.”
“Excellent, ma’ams,” said Babqex.
They walked onward, pointing out various things that they wanted changed. At first, it was easy enough. After all, neither her nor Sylfir wanted all the Overlord-themed crap that adorned the place to stay up. But, after that, it came down to the important things. Would they keep the same marble floor, or replace it with another pattern or color? Would they changed the wallpaper? Would they even use wallpaper? Would they paint the walls? What about the molding? As Maviel thought about it, she grew anxious. Would Sylfir try to run all the design decisions? The Overlord surely had, as much as he’d been able to get away with, as his one design plan was to plaster his face everywhere. Maviel felt a terrible anxiety that planning out the new look of the palace, now that they’d agreed everything Overlord-themed must go, would be a terrible test of their chemistry.
“So, Maviel—” said Sylfir, “—what do you think we should do with the walls?”
Maviel was floored. Sylfir was asking her? She almsot felt a tear in her eye. The Overlord had never asked her anything, ever, except about his codpieces. And even then, he’d been dismissive of her input!
“I think that depends,” said Maviel. “How do you feel about the molding, Sylfir?”
“Oh, I hate making design decisions,” said Sylfir. “Sure, I’ll bring up an idea or two, but essentially I’d much rather just go with whatever you want to do. And if you aren’t sure, I’d love to just talk about it with you for a while until you make up your mind.”
They both locked eyes. A warm feeling filled Maviel’s chest, a feeling she’d only pretended to feel when she looked at the Overlord.
----------------------------------------
Maviel and Sylfir walked into the dark, brooding room. They both smoothed down their frazzled hair and sighed, thinking with joy about their detailed plan for redoing the hallways of the Overlord’s palace. Only, it wasn’t the Overlord’s palace any more. It was their palace. The only thing they had really butted heads on had been over whether it was in good taste or not to include a painting of Maviel torturing people in the main hall, but that could be revisited at a later date, they’d decided.
“Now that we’ve made a bunch of design decisions—” said Maviel, “—I want to show you something, Sylfir.”
“Okay,” said Sylfir. “But why’d we walk into such a dark, brooding room if you wanted to show me something, if you don’t mind me asking, Maviel?”
“A fair question,” said Maviel. She raised her hand and thought, ‘Activate Seeing Orb.’
[Seeing Orb Activated]
A large, clear sphere in the middle of the room illuminated with a brilliant white glow.
“Oh, wow,” said Sylfir. “What is this?”
“This, Sylfir, is our ace in the hole,” said Maviel. “Come, get close to the orb and look into it. I’ll show you what it can do.”
Sylfir walked closer and looked into the orb. “Maviel, I don’t see anything.”
Maviel thought ‘See Stelas Stelford.’
[Seeing Orb is now viewing Stelas Stelford]
The cloudy whiteness of the orb quickly faded to a dark, foggy black, save for speckles of light shining through what appeared to be a burlap sack.
“Not right now, Tahsi,” said the muffled voice of the player Isabelle. “Bread can wait. I’ve got revenge on the menu.”
“Is that the player?” asked Sylfir.
“Yes,” said Maviel.
“How are we hearing her?” asked Sylfir.
“This orb allows us to view the world through the eyes of anyone who’s in the Overlord’s party,” said Maviel. “Of course, we could change it to see anyone in our new party, but that’s kind of unecessary at the moment when we’ve essentially got an unassuming spy following that new player and her party around!”
“Did the Overlord know about this?” asked Sylfir.
“Yes,” said Maviel. “But he never kept track of his party very well, and he never realized this Stelas Stelford guy was being carried around by the new player, either.”
“Wow,” said Sylfir. “What wasted potential. What a fool.”
“Yes, the Overlord was a real idiot,” said Maviel. “It was only a matter of time til we took control. And now that we have, and we can see what the player’s doing, well, we’ve got moe than an upper hand. We’ve got an upper head!”
Sylfir blinked in confusion.
“Sorry, was that bad?” asked Maviel. “I was just saying it because Stelas’ severed head is in a burlap sack. That’s who’s eyes we’re looking through, you know. I thought it was kind of clever.”
“It was… okay,” said Sylfir generously.
“Fair enough,” said Maviel. “Either way, now you know what we can do.”
“Yes,” said Sylfir. “I think it’s safe to say that the player and her party will be under a close watch.” She started to giggle a little bit. And then she giggled some more.
The giggling was infectious, and soon Maviel found herself cackling along. Louder and louder did their cackling crescendo, and it was soon accented by the strike of lightning outside in the distance.