“Tahsi, you never told me there would be dragons here!” said Isabelle to the kobold incredulously.
“Well, generally, there aren’t,” said Tahsi. “And honestly, I find the fact that there’s a dragon flying around in the air right now incredibly disturbing. They’re supposed to be hibernating for another ten thousand years!”
The red dragon swooped down through the air, soaring almost directly overhead of the three party members and their horses while snarling and licking its chops. It let loose a roar that shook the ground beneath them.
[-1 hp]
[Tahsi -1 hp]
[Sir Jingles -1 hp]
“Are you shitting me?” said Isabelle. “Did we all just take one hp damage from the damn thing’s roar alone?”
The dragon turned sharply around at the edge of the woods, raised its altitude slightly, and circled in the air high above the party.
“Hey, Isabelle, maybe we can shoot arrows at this dragon,” said Tahsi. “Archery has to be the superior way to deal with this situation, I’m just sure of it.”
Normally Isabelle would’ve been skeptical, but she knew that Tahsi’s int and wis were both quite high, and it wasn’t like she had any idea what in the hell to do about this situation. Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 89/91
Item
Traits
Orcish Longbow
+5 damage, +1 dx, +1.5 carry weight
Standard Arrow x12
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Orcish Longbow equipped]
[+5 damage]
[+1 dx]
[Standard Arrow x12 equipped]
Isabelle raised her Orcish longbow and tried to point it at the dragon, but was frustrated to see that the beast moved so quickly and could go so high and so low that the whole prospect seemed impossible to her.
“Haven’t you ever gone hunting before, Isabelle?” asked Tahsi. He equipped his longbow and some arrows and aimed up at the dragon. “You’ve got to aim at where the dragon’s going to be, not where it is.” Tahsi fired an arrow up into the air. It seemed to almost disappear.
[Tahsi dealt 1 damage]
“Ah fuck,” said Tahsi. “That was a lot less effective than I’d hoped for, I’ll be honest.”
The dragon swooped around. It was heading closer to some of the burning buildings in the distance, the burning rural tenements of Wheatstar. It opened its huge jaws. Isabelle could see even from afar its many horrid teeth. The beast took a deep breath and exhaled a plume of billowing fire that engulfed the land, singing a patch of crops to black dust and smoke.
“Woah,” said Sir Jingles. “Imagine if that had been us.”
“I’d rather not,” said Isabelle.
“Hey, um, what’s going on out there?” nervously asked Stelas’ severed head from inside the burlap sack dangling off the side of Isabelle’s horse Lugano. “I’m starting to get quite nervous in here.”
“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” said Isabelle.
“Wait a second!” said Sir Jingles. “Stelas works for the Overlord, doesn’t he?”
“Worked,” Stelas said with a sigh. “Once he finds out what in the hell you’ve done to me I’m sure to be fired. That is, unless my glorious body thaws out of its icy prison and comes to find you and dismember and kill all you in a wonderful spat of bloodthirsty rage, the likes of which have never been seen before in Beaubinte and surely will never be seen again! …Not that I’m planning anything, mind you, but still, the point stands.”
The dragon roared again, though thankfully this time it was far enough away that nobody took damage. Instead, about twenty five birds simply dropped dead from the heights of the sky due to its resonance.
“Maybe, if we’re careful, we can just leave,” said Tahsi. “You know, nobody ever said we had to try and kill the damn thing.
“Maybe we should wake sleeping beauty up,” said Sir Jingles, gesturing to the prince, who hung limp and naked over the back of Stefano the horse.. “I’m sure he can transform into a giant winged mongoose or thereabouts. And then fight the dragon for us.”
“You know,” said Isabelle. “I don’t really understand why we’re all stuck in combat mode. That dragon is obviously more than fifty feet away from us.”
[Clarification: Dragons have a much higher range of motion than many other common enemies in Beaubinte. As a result of this fact, their effective combat range is more than double that of a normal enemy encounter. This is not to say that it is impossible to escape the attack range of a dragon, only that it is many magnitudes more difficult compared to, say, the attack range of a Large Ozian Hermit Crab.]
The cold logic of the system made only too much sense to Isabelle. Of course, maybe they could still outrun the dragon on their horses. Maybe. Then again, did they need to? Isabelle had slayed a giant before using mainly her wits. Maybe there was a way to do something similar to take down this dragon.
“Isabelle, are you just going to stand there staring into space, or are we going to do something?” asked Tahsi.
“I’m thinking,” said Isabelle.
“…Was that your whole thought, or were you going somewhere with that?” asked Sir Jingles.
“Don’t be an asshole,” said Isabelle, swatting at her companion. He hissed in response.
“I’ve been thinking too, Isabelle,” said Tahsi. He set a hand on her shoulder, staring up at the dragon swooping through the air. “I’ve been thinking I ought to equip some bread and get chowing down. Want any?”
Isabelle wanted to answer in disgust, but she didn’t get the opportunity.
“Hey! You lot!” said a frazzle sounding voice. The party looked down from the dragon flying in the sky to see three Cloud Reach guards running up to them.
“Hey, are you lot Cloud Reach guards, seeing as two of you are wearing our armor?” asked one of the guards.
[Speechcraft attempt: deceive]
“…Yes?” said Tahsi.
[Speechcraft succeeded]
Isabelle was relieved that it had been Tahsi who answered the question, what with his unbearably high char score and speechcraft level.
“Oh, thank the gods,” said the guard. “We’re absolutely scared shitless right now, and are thinking about abandoning our posts. You lot look very competent, so, as commander of the Cloud Reach guard, I know appoint you as the official handlers of this situation.”
“Uh, what?” asked Isabelle.
Before anyone could say anything else, the three Cloud Reach guards ran off into the woods, screaming wildly.
“Well, that was encouraging,” said Sir Jingles.
The dragon screeched and roared, swirling around in the air. It seemed completely aimless, yet at the same time like it was looking for something.
“What’s the dragon’s deal?” asked Isabelle. “It keeps circling up in the air around us like some sort of big, scaly vulture that breathes fire.”
“Aptly put,” said the muffle voice of Stelas’ severed head.
“Fuck if I know,” said Tahsi. He took a bite of bread. “I’m a baker, not a dragon-ologist. I’m just glad it’s not actively trying to kill us at the moment, honestly.”
That was quite convenient. It was almost like the dragon had caught on the scent of something, but just wasn’t sure what to do about it, like the beast was swirling and twirling in the air in a malicious bout of indecision.
“I say we take this opportunity and get the hell out of here as fast as possible,” said Sir Jingles. “Fuck Cloud Reach, and, no offense Isabelle, but fuck your quest. We can go to some other city and get a bunch of loot there instead. This isn’t worth it.”
Isabelle did seriously consider this suggestion, but she also had an idea. An idea other than running away. Sure, a standard arrow shot by Tahsi only gave the dragon one point of damage, but that didn’t mean that shooting the dragon down by arrows was a pointless venture. Isabelle remembered all those plants she’d foraged earlier. Maybe she could do some quick crafting with them and those arrows and give Tahsi some tools to really pack a punch against this fearsome dragon.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 89/91
Item
Traits
Idlungie x2
+0.5 carry weight
Butter Tongue x5
+1 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Toadblossom x30
+0.1 carry weight
Daggerbud Berries x30
+3 poison, +2 stun, +0.1 carry weight
Standard Arrow x12
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.
Isabelle thought ‘Open Standard Arrow Crafting Menu.’
Crafting
Item
Craftable
Standard Arrow x12
Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12
Arrows of Healing x12
Standard Arrows (poisoned) x12
Arrows of Healing? What in the hell was an arrow of healing?
[Clarification: An arrow of healing heals whoever it hits. The amount of hp it heals depends on what you use when crafting the healing arrow.]
Isabelle wasn’t necessarily surprised, but she was annoyed that the system continued to be unaware of when she was asking a rehtorical question.
Isabelle focused on ‘Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12.’
[Craft ‘Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12’ out of items ‘Standard Arrows x12’ and ‘Daggerbud Berries x12’? This cannot be undone.]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[‘Standard Arrows x12’ taken from player Isabelle inventory]
[‘Daggerbud Berries x12’ taken from party member Tahsi inventory]
[Crafting ‘Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12’]
[…]
[…]
[…]
[Crafting complete]
[‘Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12’ added to inventory]
Isabelle walked over to Tahsi, who’d apparently already mounted Doug the Horse again in preparation to get the hell away from the dragon.
“Hey, Tahsi, I have an idea,” said Isabelle. “I made these arrows that can stun and poison the dragon. Do you wanna give them a go?”
“No,” said Tahsi. He was still talking through nervous mouthfuls of bread. “The last thing I want to do is take any action that might aggravate this gods-awful dragon. I’m honestly so relieved it hasn’t come down here yet and cooked us all to a crisp, if we’re being honest, and I don’t want to push my luck.”
[Speechcraft attempt: persuade]
“Tahsi, come on. These arrows are going to be super powerful and effective, I’m sure of it. And if anybody can do it, you can, Tahsi. I believe in you,” said Isabelle. She almost felt sick to her stomach, but hopefully it would be worth it.
[Speechcraft succeeded]
“You know, Isabelle, normally I’d say this is just a bad idea, and that we need to use this opportunity we have now with the dragon seemingly not wanting to swoop down and murder us to make an escape, but I find myself strangely compelled by your kind words,” said Tahsi. “So, okay. Give me the arrows. I’ll do my best.”
Yes! Isabelle knew she could count on a little bit of ego stroking to get Tahsi up to the task.
[Give ‘Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12’ to party member Tahsi?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Major Poisoning and Stunning Arrows x12 removed from inventory]
“Alright, just let me equip them,” said Tahsi. The arrows appeared in a quiver on his back. He reached around, grabbed one, and loaded it into his longbow. He looked up and squinted, focusing on the dragon. “Damn thing keeps moving. Tricky stuff. Aaand… There!”
Tahsi fired three arrows in rapid succession. Even Sir Jingles seemed impressed, as did a few of the horses.
[Tahsi attack missed]
“Fuck!” said Tahsi.
[Critical hit]
“Oh shit!” said Tahsi. “Here we go, folks!!”
[Tahsi dealt 15 damage]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ resisted stun]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ resisted poison]
“Oh, gods damnit,” said Tahsi. “That’s such bullshit. Oh well, maybe the other arrow did something.”
[Tahsi dealt 2 damage]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ resisted stun]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ resisted poison]
“Fuck’s sake,” said Tahsi, shaking his head. “This is a travesty.”
Isabelle frowned. “You have nine more arrows, Tahsi. Why give up now?”
“Isabelle, it’s clearly a huge waste! The best I did was fifteen damage, and that was a critical hit!” said Tahsi. “Now let’s get the hell out of here before—”
A bellowing roar interrupted Tahsi.
[-1 hp]
[Tahsi -1 hp]
[Sir Jingles -1 hp]
Before anyone could say a snide comment, the dragon flapped its mighty wings and lowered itself closer and closer to the part. The lower in the air it got, the more shocked Isabelle was by its size and stature. The beast was imposing, with thick black claws and piercing yellow eyes as wide as two semi-trucks. Its rich, red scales reflected radiantly in the twilight air. Its wings spanned football fields of distance. Was this thing really called a young red dragon? That seemed to be underselling its prominence a little, Isabelle thought.
[Clarification: The system isn’t selling you anything. It is simply giving you the proper name for the creature you’ve encountered based on Beaubintian syntax.]
Isabelle rolled her eyes. Then, her eyes went wide, for she saw the dragon open its horrid jaws only a few feet away from them. Its fangs were long and huge. It had dark purple gums and a forked, blue tongue that danced around its mouth with malice. Then, Isabelle had an idea.
“Tahsi! Tahsi, quick, shoot it in its fucking mouth! Aim for the tongue!” said Isabelle.
“That’s not a bad idea,” said Tahsi. He prepared an arrow and fired it. “Whew. I sure am glad we’re in combat mode, my arm would never have stayed steady for that shot otherwise.”
[Critical hit]
The arrow struck the middle of the dragon’s forked tongue.
[565 damage dealt]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ is stunned]
[‘Young Red Dragon’ is poisoned]
“Hell yea, that’s what I’m talking about!” said Tahsi.
The dragon’s head lulled around in a bit of a haze.
“Fuck, what do we do?!” said Isabelle.
Everyone else shrugged, and then swore as their character sheets popped up in response to their shrugs.
Isabelle wasn’t about to jump in the dragon’s mouth and try and stab it from there, that was far too risky, but surely she could try and take it out some other way. Maybe magic could be the way. She just needed to act quickly, because she wasn’t certain of how long the beast would stay stunned. Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 89/91
Item
Traits
Necromancer Robes
+10 mana, +3 confuse, +3 enchant, +1 destroy, +4 carry weight
Ring of Improved Destroy
+3 destroy
Staff of the Undead
+5 mana, +2 carry weight
Amulet of Lesser Confusion
+3 confuse
Ring of Increased Mana
+5 mana
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Necromancer robes equipped]
[+10 mana]
[+3 confuse]
[+3 enchant]
[+1 destroy]
[Ring of Improved Destroy equipped]
[+3 destroy]
[Staff of the Undead equipped]
[+5 mana]
[Amulet of Lesser Confusion equipped]
[+3 confuse]
[Ring of Increased Mana equipped]
[+5 mana]
Perfect. Isabelle cracked her neck and her knuckles and figured she’d try something a little new this time. She raised both her hands, keeping the Staff of the Undead strapped on her back for its mana bonus. Isabelle had a feeling that the dragon might be resistant to her flame attacks, since it was red. But did that mean her ice blast spell was the best move? Or would she stick with shooting lightning? Lightning had the extra damage bonus, but the ice blast had the slight chance of freezing the dragon, at least if it really was weak to ice. She’d have to give it a try. Isabelle thought ‘Cast Ice Blast,’ while focusing her energy on expending as much mana as possible from both hands.
[Mana 3%]
Isabelle watched as spirals of ice swirled from her palms and fingers. It combined into one big blast and shot quickly towards the dragon’s mouth and splattered over the inside of its mouth, coating its tongue and gums in an icy blue chill.
[Critical hit]
[895 damage dealt]
[1002 frost damage dealt]
“Holy shit!” said Isabelle. “That was awesome!”
But the joy of success did not last long. The dragon snapped its jaws shut and shook its mighty head around, growling and hissing. Isabelle jumped back.
[Stamina 95%]
The dragon lowered its head and snorted hot, sulfur-scented air through its mighty nostrils. This hot gust of air pushed the party far backward and knocked them into some trees.
[-7 hp]
[Tahsi -8 hp]
[Sir Jingles -6 hp]
[Lugano the Horse -4 hp]
[Stefano the Horse -4 hp]
[Doug the Horse -4 hp]
Everyone clambered to their feet. Isabelle could hear the dragon screeching and shouting wildly. It shot into the air and swooped over the trees, sending leaves and branches tumbling down as it passed by. Then, the dragon took a deep, loud breath and exhaled a horrible plume of flames over the woodland. Everyone screamed and ran as flames engulfed their every step.
[-7 hp]
[You’re getting fire damage]
[-2 hp]
[Tahsi -8 hp]
[Tahsi is getting fire damage]
[Tahsi -2 hp]
[Sir Jingles -6 hp]
[Sir Jingles is getting fire damage]
[Sir Jingles -2 hp]
[Lugano the Horse -4 hp]
[Lugano the Horse is getting fire damage]
[Lugano the Horse -1 hp]
[Stefano the Horse -4 hp]
[Stefano the Horse is getting fire damage]
[Stefano the Horse -1 hp]
[Doug the Horse -4 hp]
[Doug the Horse is getting fire damage]
[Doug the Horse -1 hp]
[Stamina 72%]
[Mana 9%]
Isabelle took a deep breath as she and the rest of her party finally escaped from the immediate grasp of the dragon’s flames. She noticed that, fortunately enough, the thick smoke of the fire had no effect on her lungs or breathing. Doubtlessly a benefit of the system. The rest of the party seemed similarly unharmed, other than of course the hits to their hp and the general stress of the situation.
However, horribly enough, it appeared that the dragon’s flame was spreading quickly through the woods. It created a sort of wall of flame that blocked the party from running any further into the woods and away from the dragon. It drove them out of the woods and back out into the open, where they could see the dragon circling in the air again.
“Fuck’s sake,” said Isabelle. “What the hell are we supposed to do? Just wait for my mana to regen and hope we have enough arrows?”
Sir Jingles cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking and… well… there’s something I could do.”
Isabelle and Tahsi burst into raucuous laughter. Even Stelas’ severed head started laughing from inside his burlap sack, and it sounded like the unconscious, naked prince was lightly chuckling, though that could’ve just been how he was breathing.
“I’m fucking serious, people!” said Sir Jingles. He equipped the spell catcher. “This spell catcher has the prince’s special ability in it. The one where you can turn into that puma monster thing and spit saliva that confuses people. Well, I’m going to fucking activate it, and then I’m going to help us defeat this fucking dragon.”
“Yea, sure. Okay buddy,” said Tahsi with a smirk.
“Yea, Sir Jingles, I don’t know if I believe you,” said Isabelle.
“I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna fucking do it!” said Sir Jingles.
Before anyone else could argue, the dragon swooped down and landed on its two thick feet with a boom, sending a shockwave through the ground that battered the party lightly.
[-1 hp]
[Tahsi -1 hp]
[Sir Jingles -1 hp]
[Lugano the Horse -1 hp]
[Stefano the Horse -1 hp]
[Doug the Horse -1 hp]
The dragon looked at the party, raising and lowering its head in an intimidating, serpentine manner.
“Still going to activate that thing, Sir Jingles?” Isabelle asked.
“Fuck yes I am!” said Sir Jingles. The spell catcher started to glow bright purple, and the blue, and then it exploded in sparkles of bright light that swirled around Sir Jingles. Then, in a poof, it was gone.
“So?” asked Isabelle. “Did it work? Do you have a different special ability now?”
“Oh yea, and I can’t wait to use it,” said Sir Jingles. “Time to show this dragon what pain is, Jingles style!”