Isabelle, Shiach and Tahsi Junior were propelled through a harsh cloud of dust and debris as the airship collided with the ground and exploded into smithereens.
[-69 hp]
[-69 hp]
[Achievement unlocked: survive an airship crash]
[Notice: you’re ready to level up]
Supposedly, Isabelle was losing an awful lot of hp, but she didn't feel like she was in terrible pain. What's more, she'd reequipped her armor after her lacklustre carnal experience with Shiach. Isabelle had a feeling she was losing less hp, but instead with was an error within her system that was still unresolved. How frustrating.
Yes, this is what Isabelle was thinking about as her body flew through the painful conglomorate of destruction, bits and pieces of the airship, and other shit.
And then, Isabelle landed on the ground face first and slid through the dirt.
"Ow," Isabelle whined.
She rolled over onto her back and looked at her surroundings. The sky above her was grey and dark; the ground beneath her was scorched and burnt. It was hard to see anything beyond the smoke and ash, but Isabelle could hear people screaming and shouting in the distance.
"Oh dear," said Isabelle. "Something tells me this is going to be a pain in the ass."
"My ass!" cried Tahsi Junior.
Isabelle looked around and saw the young kobold-dragon rubbing his behind ferociously.
"I think I sprained it, Isabelle," he said with a pout.
Isabelle chuckled and stood up.
"Where's Shiach?" she asked.
"I don't know," said Tahsi Junior. "She was supposed to be flying the damn thing when it crashed."
"Believe me, I know," said Isabelle.
The airship was gone. Completely. All that remained was a large crater in the ground where the airship had once been. It was hard to believe something so large could just disappear without a trace. Then again, the system was a strange beast.
"Where did all the dead dragons go?" asked Isabelle. She was cursing herself for not looting them when she had the chance. Now it seemed like she might never get a shot at it.
"There's no time for that, Isabelle!" said Tahsi Junior.
"Um, says who, Tahsi Junior?" said Isabelle with a scowl. Suddenly, she had a thought. "Fucking shit. Where'd I leave Stelas?"
"Who?" asked Tahsi Junior.
"Stelas!" said Isabelle. "He's a member of the Overlord's party. I severed his head and put it in a burlap sack. But I guess I lost him somewhere on the airship before it crashed. I had a bunch of awesome inventory items stashed in his inventory. He was my head of holding!"
"Maybe he died," suggested Tahsi Junior.
"No, that's the whole thing, he can't," said Isabelle. "Like, it's literally impossible for him to die. Which is why I was carrying his severed head around, consequently."
Tahsi Junior shrugged.
Isabelle groaned.
"Come on, I need to find him."
"I'm sorry to say this, Isabelle," said Tahsi Junior, "but you're not going to find him."
"Why not?" said Isabelle. "He's one of the members of my party. I have to find him."
"That's a good point," said Tahsi Junior. "But I am afraid he is long gone."
"What do you mean?"
"We can't even find Shiach! You couldn't even find any dead dragon corpses when we landed! How the hell do you expect to find a severed head?"
Isabelle hated to admit that Tahsi Junior had a point, so she didn't. Then, she had an idea. Maybe she'd mistakenly tied Stelas' burlap sack to the side of Lugano? It was worth a try. Isabelle thought, 'Lugano, come here.'
[Error: no horse 'Lugano' exists in your system]
[Notice: you're ready to level up]
What? Isabelle frowned. She tried again.
[Error: no horse 'Lugano' exists in your system]
[Notice: you're ready to level up]
And then, Isabelle recognized her folly. She'd made the mistake of forgetting that she'd assigned Lugano to the Overlord's party in a ditch move to save his horsey life by providing him immortality. So, for all she knew, her horse and her head of holding were indeed together. But where they were, was anyone's guess.
"Shit," said Isabelle. "Well, shit. He's gone, and so is my horse."
"You've got to find Stelas," said Tahsi Junior. "He's integral to my plan to save my dad!"
"Really?"
"Yes!" Tahsi Junior puffed out his chest. "Remember? I said we'd put a bunch of severed heads in his inventory and scatter them all around thecity of Chox? And we'd use it as a distraction?"
Isabelle sighed. "Tahsi Junior, we weren't actually going to do that plan. Honestly, I found that idea of yours totally idiotic. We were just humoring you."
"Oh, Isabelle," said Tahsi Junior. He started tearing up. "I'm sorry, I really thought that would work. My entire plan depends on finding him."
Isabelle shook her head. "Tahsi Junior, I have no idea where he is."
Tahsi Junior started to wail with tears.
[Notice: you're ready to level up]
Thank god for the system. Instead of dealing with Tahsi Junior's emotions, Isabelle was more than happy to level up.
[Congratulations, you’ve reached level 40]
Fuck yea, level 40.
[Notice: You have attribute and skill points to spend]
[Would you like to spend your points now?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
Attribute Points to Spend: 30
Hp:
384
H-Regen:
3/30sec
Mana:
211
M-Regen:
2/40sec
Stm:
206
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
Isabelle decided to add ten points to hp, ten to mana, and ten to stm. After all, she had thirty to spend, now!
Skill Points to Spend: 30
Str:
122
Int:
100
Dx:
115
Wis:
86
Const:
80
Char:
69
Isabelle didn’t want to put too much energy into this, she needed to focus. With that in mind, she put ten points into int, ten into dx, and ten into const.
[Congratulations, you’ve finished leveling up!]
Character Status
Name:
Isabelle
Gender:
Female
Level:
40
Class:
Undefined
Race:
Human
Alignment:
Neutral-Neutral
Attributes
Hp:
384
H-Regen:
3/30sec
Mana:
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211
M-Regen:
2/40sec
Stm:
206
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
Skill Points
Str:
122
Int:
100
Dx:
115
Wis:
86
Const:
80
Char:
69
Magic Ability Levels
Enchant:
3
Summon:
2
Heal:
3
Destroy:
13
Transmute:
2
Confuse:
3
Normal Ability Levels
Crafting:
8
Sneak:
12
Archery:
11
Lockpick:
3
Armed Combat:
18
Melee Combat:
4
Speechcraft:
15
Sleight Of Hand:
6
Isabelle exhaled with ecstasy, pleasure and finally relief as she finished leveling up.
"Do my emotions mean nothing to you, Isabelle?" glowered Tahsi Junior.
She rolled her eyes. "No, they don't."
Before Tahsi Junior could go into a fit of offense, a loud whirring sound distracted them both as piles of ahes strewn across the ground swirled up into the air and formed back into the shape of Shiach.
"Ah, it's good to be alive," said Shiach. "You were dead?" asked Isabelle.
"Yeah," said Shiach. "That airship crash was pretty gnarly. I'm impressed that neither of you two died."
"Well, I learned a new breath weapon that allows me to encapsulate myself in a sphere of health protection," said Tahsi Junior while giving Isabelle side eye.
"I just have a lot of hp," said Isabelle.
"If only you had a lot of stm, right?" asked Shiach with a smirk. Isabelle glared back. "I do have a lot of stm."
"Sure you do."
Isabelle rolled her eyes, burying her face in her hands. Shiach was clueless. She was the one that came on to her, and then stopped within all of three minutes after very visually and audibly reaching climax, whereas if Shiach had any idea how to read a person she'd have noticed that Isabelle had been absolutely nowhere near it herself. And now the bitch was being smug about stm? Isabelle could almost cut both her legs off in frustration.
"Hey, guys, look where we are!" said Tahsi Junior with more than a hint of glee. "I hadn't been paying any attention to or surroundings, mainly because of all the dirt and dust and smoke kicked up in the air, but wow! This is seriously good news!"
"What an annoying little prick," Isabelle muttered under her breath.
Still, Isabelle glanced around as the smoke cleared. And what she saw was a big, imposing cave with a dark, ominous feeling to it. Isabelle knew from experience that this kind of environment always led to bad things. She could already hear the sounds of monsters, and the smell of blood.
"This is the place, I know it is," said Tahsi Junior.
"Um, what place, again, Tahsi Junior?" asked Isabelle skeptically.
"This is where the Tufa live!"
"The who now?"
"The Tufa!" said Tahsi Junior with a smile. "You know, those fun, sentient rock people who wear funny hats and sing and dance?"
"Tahsi Junior, we are not going to be dancing and singing with the Tufa. We're going to be fighting them and trying to get away from them as fast as we can," said Isabelle flatly. "I mean, look at this cave. It looks like the entrance to hell, not like some nice place where fun people with an interesting culture hang out."
They regarded the cave. It seemed to look more sinister with every moment Isabelle laid eyes on it.
"Do you see what I mean?" asked Isabelle. "This place is bad news."
"Oh, you're right," said Tahsi Junior. "I forgot. You're the one who doesn't like fun, sentient rock people."
"We aren't going to be doing anything with them," said Isabelle. "We're just going to go in, kill everything, and get out. And I'll probably get some great loot, and level up a shit ton."
"So selfish," said Shiach.
"Give it a rest, Shiach," said Isabelle. "I'll let you and Tahsi Junior have whatever loot I don't want."
"Isabelle, really I would rather not loot anyone," said Tahsi Junior. "The Tufa are a loving, peaceful people! This should be seen almost like a vacation, like a nice break to somewhere fun!"
A pigeon flew by the cave and by an act of freak chance, a small bolt of lightning shot out from the sky and fried the bird in a half second. Its dead, smoking corpse landed at the cave entrance.
Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Yea, sure, Tahsi Junior."
"That was just a coincidence! It didn't mean anything!" said Tahsi Junior.
"Sure it didn't." Isabelle crossed her arms and smirked. Tahsi Junior scowled, showing his dragon-kobold-fangs.
"Whatever. Either way, we're going into the cave. We'll just have to see who's right and who's wrong," said Isabelle smugly.
"Yes. I guess we will," replied Tahsi Junior.
"Oh, we will," said Isabelle. "We definitely will. We're going to make it out of here alive. And we're going to come back with lots and lots of loot. And we're going to be laughing and singing about it later."
"I'm not so sure about the laughing part," said Tahsi Junior. "It seems like we're going to be having a really serious discussion about why you're such a stupid jerk."
"Ha!" Isabelle laughed. "Nice joke, Tahsi Junior. If anything, we'll be having a conversation about how right I was and always am and you'll be the one that's wrong."
"Oh, you don't say." Tahsi Junior squinted.
"And we'll be talking about how much better off the world is because of my brilliant leadership and how you're a moron and I hate you."
"That's not a very fair assessment of your position." Tahsi Junior looked hurt.
"You're just mad I'm better than you at everything." "I'm not mad about that."
"Oh, yes you are."
"Life isn't just a competition, Isabelle. Levels aren't real, Isabelle, it's just a mental hallucination brought on by your system. Anyone who's spent twenty minutes in a Beaubintian classroom knows that."
"Well, I don't care. I'm the best and you know it."
"No, you're not."
"I am."
"You're impossible is what you are," said Tahis Junior with a huff. "What am I, guys?" asked Shiach.
Isabelle and Tahsi Junior looked at her and spoke at once.
"Hot," said Tahsi Junior.
"Boring in bed," said Isabelle.
"Tahsi Junior, you're too young to think I'm hot!" Shiach proclaimed.
"I uh, I meant in the literal sense. You know, because you're a phoenixborn?"
"Oh." Shiach hung her head in disappointment.
Isabelle rolled her eyes and regarded the cave entrance. It was large, but not as large as it appeared. The entrance was only a little over thirty feet wide and there were two small ledges that led out onto the rocky floor, one on either side.
"I don't see any monsters, but there's no way there aren't any in there," said Isabelle.
"No, Isabelle, the Tufa aren't monsters. They're people, just like you and me!" said Tahsi Junior, the scaly kobold-dragon with wings and a tail.
"Are you fucking kidding me? Are you trying to say that there's people in this world with scales and fangs?" Isabelle asked.
"Of course!" yelled Tahsi Junior. "Come on, Isabelle, don't be a speciesist. They're just regular people who happen to be born with some kind of magic!"
"Like me and you?" Shiachturned to Tahsi Junior and rested a feathery palm on his scaly shoulder.
"Exactly!" said Tahsi Junior. "And they're nice! They're just as nice as the rest of us! Hell, they're probably nicer! Nicer than Isabelle, at least."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Isabelle scowled. "Are you insinuating that I'm not nice?"
"No, not at all," said Tahsi Junior. "If anything, you're a dick. And you're dumb. And Isabelle, don't get me started on your hair! Your hair is awful and you should cut it. I hate your hair."
"What does my hair have to do with anything?" Isabelle asked. For maybe the first time in Beaubinte, she actually kind of had her feelings hurt. Her hair was great! It was long and luscious and it was brown. It made her feel pretty and stylish, and she had been growing it for years. She couldn't believe that anyone would even suggest that she change it.
"It's just a thing," said Tahsi Junior.
"A thing? What's a thing?" asked Shiach.
"A thing I don't have for long hair. I don't know, ugh. I don't know what I'm saying!" said Tahsi Junior. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's just go in there, okay?"
"Okay," said Shiach, and she led the way towards the mouth of the cave.
"Do you guys know that hating on my hair is totally racist?" Isabelle said as they walked, but nobody heard her. They were too busy being offended.
The mouth of the cave, though it looked huge from afar, was surprisingly narrow. As they walked in, the walls were so narrow that the ceiling was practically nonexistent. Just a few feet from the edge of the cave, the rocks began to rise steeply upwards, forming a natural shelf. There was a hole in the center of the platform, which Isabelle guessed led into the cave proper.
The air inside was cool and moist and smelled of minerals and earth. There wasn't much light, even though the sun was high overhead. Shiach led them up the steep incline, using her talons to grip the rocky shelf, and then down the other side. The cave was much wider near the bottom, and Isabelle realized that it must be the cave's main entrance. She could see the rock wall beyond it, and the opening was large enough for a horse to walk through.
They walked on, following the rocky floor of the cave until they reached a large chamber.
"Is this whole fucking place just empty as hell?" asked Isabelle loudly, her voice reverberating through the stony enclosure.
"Yeah, pretty much," said Shiach, stepping around a pile of rubble.
"No, this is where the Tufa live!" said Tahsi Junior emphatically. "They're friendly, fun loving rascals!"
"Very convincing," said Isabelle as she rolled her eyes. "You know, Tahsi Junior, I think you just make up these stupid rock people for attention."
"Hey!" said Tahsi Junior, offended. "Why do you always have to be so negative, Isabelle? You can't just say things the way they are, you always have to twist everything! Why can't you ever just let me have a good time?!"
"I'm sorry you can't have fun without making up stupid lies that could get us killed," Isabelle muttered.
"Oh, yeah, you're sorry. Great apology, by the way. How's that working out for you?" Tahsi Junior asked.
"Well, it's not like I'm having fun too," said Isabelle, "but I'm also not constantly insulted. I feel like you don't take my wis and int scores seriously, Tahsi Junior."
"That's because you need to learn how to enjoy yourself!" said Tahsi Junior. "Is there any problem with have a little joy in your life?"
"So, I should start enjoying myself now, is that what you're saying?" Isabelle growled with venom. "For all we know, this cave could've been a deadly trap! We're lucky nothing untoward has come upon us and slaughtered the three of us!" She turned to Shiach. "Or, I guess I should say, the two of us. Since you'll just burst into flames and get reborn or whatever like your weird boyfriend."
"Ryzer was not weird!" said Shiach defensively.
"Yes, he was!" Isabelle argued. "He was a total weirdo! He kept hitting on me and never told me he was with you! He was weird!"
"No, no, he was not!" insisted Shiach. "He is exactly what Ryzer said he was. He only pretended to be weird, but in reality, he is very nice, and sweet, and sensitive, and—"
"I'm glad you agree with me, Isabelle," said Tahsi Junior, interrupting Shiach. "Because I didn't want to say that he was weird again."
"Fuck you guys, I don't have to stay in this cave and get bullied," whined Shiach. "I can just fly the fuck out of here any time I want!"
"I'm not so sure about that," boomed a deep, foreboding voice from the shadows.
"Who the fuck said that?" hissed Isabelle.
With a loud grumbling, crumbling and cracking boulders fell from behind, sealing the narrow passageway out of the cave totally shut. There was no direction they could go now but forward. Forward towards the voice.
"This is totally fucked," said Isabelle. "I never should've listened to you, Tahsi Junior."
"Hey, the Tufa are a kind, friendly people, Isabelle. I assure you if they sealed us in here it's only out of the goodness of their hearts," said Tahsi Junior.
The deep, booming voice started to cackle. "What?!" said Isabelle. "What's so fucking funny?!"
"This is not the cave of the Tufa," said the deep voice. Two glowing red orbs faded into view from the shadows. "Oh my, no, this is not the cave of the Tufa at all."
"Nice fucking going, Tahsi Junior," said Shiach. "You absolute fuck up."
"Don't gang up on me!" whined Tahsi Junior. "I'm just a kid with selective hearing!"
"This is the cave of..." the deep, booming voice cleared its throat. "The Loofah!"
Isabelle burst out laughing.
"What? What's so funny?" hissed the voice.
"The loofah? Like the bath sponge?" Isabelle sneered.
"Isabelle, I have no idea what you're talking about," said Tahsi Junior.
"Yea, Isabelle," said Shiach. "In Beaubinte, the Loofah are a terrifying, bloodthirsty race of rock monsters who feed off fear and flesh."
"Oh," said Isabelle. "Well, I guess I'm getting some loot after all." The glowing red orbs grew closer.
[Combat mode activated]