Tahsi sighed deeply. Sure, the high priestess was dead, and now he was both the leader of the cult and also the priest of the cult, which meant he had to do a lot of preaching, but at least he got his own private kitchen from the rectory and a large, priestly throne that automatically massaged his lower back and his ass cheeks. Yes, life was going pretty well for him right now.

But then he thought about that player Isabelle again. Yes, she was probably dead and might have been eaten by a dragon or maybe just fucking killed by a dragon or something like that – but that didn't mean she was gone for good; she was just gone for a while. And if she managed to survive it all then she would come back here eventually as a player who wasn't quite as dumb as she previously had been but still was pretty stupid when it came to knowing how to properly conduct herself or socialize with people or generally be an empathetic and enjoyable person to spend time around. And then Tahsi would have her back again just like he had always wanted; she'd be his again, just like she had been before she had left. And she'd probably kill him too because he'd done something horrible like making her the high priestess or something like that, but that wouldn't matter because she'd be his again anyway because she wanted to own everyone in her party; even though she'd kicked him from the party herself in a wave of relentless bitchiness. Yes, these are the thoughts that streamed through Tahsi's head as he chomped on some of his own trademark stale bread while sitting on his priestly throne as it magically massaged his butts cheeks and anus and lower back.

"Daddy, daddy, I lost fourteen teeth today!" said the high-pitched voice of Tahsi Junior, Tahsi's darling son who just wouldn't leave him the fuck alone long enough for him to finish eating even on bite of a stale piece of bread. "Daddy, look, look at all the teeth I lost today!"

Tahsi rolled his eyes and sighed. Sure, Tahsi Junior was barely a week old since he had hatched, but it was obnoxious having to deal with a young kobold-dragon regardless of how long or short said dragon-kobold took to grow from a hatchling to the equivalent of a human seven-year-old.

"Daddy, you're not looking at my teeth!" said Tahsi Junior. "You're not paying attention to me! You're not paying attention to meeeeeeee!" He tumbled off the bed onto the ground and began to bounce up and down on his feet in an exaggerated fashion while waving his arms in a very dramatic way and making noises like "wah-wah-wah" with each arm mid-wave.

Tahsi sighed again and ate some more bread. Had it... gotten less stale since his child had hatched? Had it... gods forbid... had it gotten more flavorful? ...Tahsi felt nauseated at the thought of it. Soft, flavorful bread? Not in his Beaubinte, Tahsi figured. Well, at least, not in his Chox, since Chox was his now. Boy, was it weird to run a cult. Especially considering that Tahsi had no cult-running experience! Or any experience at all for that matter! But oh well! It was true what they said: "If you do what you love for a living then you'll never work a day in your life." So yeah! He loved sitting on his throne and napping while the high priestess got killed by evil dragons or something and then coming back to life as if nothing had happened. And now here he was with a baby kobold dragon demanding his attention! And he just wanted to eat his bread!

And so he ate some more bread because that's what one did when one was hungry and had no time or patience for anything else. And then Tahsi Junior continued to bounce up and down on the ground while doing this exaggerated "wah-wah-wah" sound every time he stopped bouncing up and down on the ground in order to do something else like eat some more bread or make some more noise or do something equally as retarded as whatever he had just been doing before.

"Daddy, look at my new claws!" said Tahsi Junior.

Tahsi sighed again and got up off his throne because now it was time for Tahsi Junior to practice making claws. And so Tahsi Junior began to grow claws on his hands and feet like every other kobold in existence. And then they grew out of proportion and out of shape since he was half dragon – they grew in such a way that they were still proportionate to his tiny size but also in such a way that they didn't look like claws anymore! They looked more like fingernails!

"Daddy, look at my new talon hands!" said Tahsi Junior.

"Um... okay..." said Tahsi without looking up from the book he was reading called "The Art of Being Completely Unproductive". He wasn't really reading it; he was just flipping through the pages a bit at random so that he could say that he had read it when someone asked him about it later on if they happened to see him reading it. But he was definitely not reading it because he couldn't read any better than your average two-year-old kobold who had just learned how to read all of the words on his favorite children's book. And then Tahsi Junior started bouncing up and down on top of his new talon hands while making that annoying "wah-wah-wah" sound that kobolds made all the time because they were pronounced that way but were not actually words in any language known to humans or dragons or whatever.

"Daddy, look at my new talon feet!" said Tahsi Junior.

"Um... okay..." said Tahsi without even looking up from the book. He was busy trying to figure out which page to flip to next because he wasn't going to waste time reading an entire book when he could just spend less time doing other things instead! So yeah... screw reading, let's just spend our days doing nothing at all! Because Tahsi could find anything better to do with his life... even if it meant doing nothing at all! Like reading a book! But not really reading a book! Because it was too much work.

So anyway... yeah... so... yeah... so... oh! That's right... Tahsi Junior! Because he was so incredibly fascinating! So while Tahsi Junior was bouncing up and down on his new talon hands and making that stupid noise, Tahsi decided to try and figure out how old his son was by looking at the size of his claws and his talon feet because kobolds usually didn't start growing talon until they were around six years old.

It must've been something with the half-dragon-ness of Tahsi Junior that was making him grow up so quickly. Why, he shouldn't have even been able to speak, and here he was hopping around and calling Tahsi daddy and demanding that Tahsi pay attention to him and look at his claws or talons or whatever the fuck it was that kobolds called them. He just couldn't wait for his father to tell him how wonderful he was or how smart he was or how much he loved him or anything else positive because if Tahsi Junior never heard one positive thing from his father, then that would mean that he wasn't as wonderful as Tahsi Junior thought he was! Yes, it definitely would've been best if Tahsi Junior's father just ignored him altogether instead of constantly feeding into all of the things that made him so special and wonderful and unique...

"Daddy, look at my new talon neck!" said Tahsi Junior.

"Uh... what?" said Tahsi without looking up from the book. He wasn't going to admit that he hadn't seen anything from his son because then it would mean that he hadn't appreciated what his son had done for him.

"Look at my new talon neck!" said Tahsi Junior again while bouncing up and down on his new talon neck.

"What's a talon neck?" said Tahsi as he chomped on some bread. "Literally, that sounds like complete nonsense. Like, it makes no fucking sense at all."

"Daddy said fucking! Daddy said fucking! Daddy said fucking!"

Tahsi looked up from the book and made a face at his son. It wasn't a very nice face at all because it looked annoyed. And when Tahsi looked annoyed, it definitely wasn't a very nice face at all. But he wasn't annoyed with his son; he was just annoyed with himself – he had been so busy being unproductive that he hadn't had time to actually get anything done but instead had just been wasting his time reading a stupid book about how not to be productive. But now that it seemed like he had a lot more free time thanks to his son being so fascinating and awesome, he decided that he needed to start doing something other than just wasting his time reading a book about how not to be productive and instead should be productive by writing down everything that made him so awesome, wonderful, and unique in order to document it so that other people could see it too. And so far, everything about Tahsi Junior made him unique and wonderful and absolutely fabulous in every way possible! Yes, Tahsi had to get up off his ass and get to work.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Right after he finished eating his bread, of course.

"I think you should go get ready for dinner," said Tahsi before turning back to the book. "I think you've had enough time with your father today."

"Hahaha!" laughed Tahsi Junior as he ran off.

Tahsi looked at the other book he'd been reading, the book he read whenever his obnoxious son wasn't in the room. It was called "Kobold Women In The Mood (For Lots of Egregious Copulation)."

Tahsi didn't know how kobolds had sex or if they even did have sex because they were all so unproductive, especially considering he'd only ever had sex with that super hot frost dragon. Still, if he had the opportunity and didn't have this cult to run, Tahsi would totally find the nearest red dragon and make babies with it because dragons were definitely better than kobolds in every single way possible! And even if dragons were also unproductive as well, they still had four arms so they could easily carry a kobold around while they fucked each other into oblivion! Yes, the more Tahsi thought about it the more it made sense for him to have another dragon baby – dragons made excellent guards if you didn't mind having them around all the time because they were always busy doing things like breathing fire or flying around or getting into trouble with other dragons. And dragons were much better than kobolds because dragons didn't cry like babies or always need their diapers changed because dragons were definitely way better than kobolds in every single way possible!

And, apparently, their kids grew up like four times faster than a normal kobold, even if they were also sixty times more annoying!

Tahsi turned back to the book on kobold sex and tried to figure out how kobolds did it. It wasn't easy because most of the pages were blank.

But right before Tahsi's eyes, the book started to fill with words!

The page turned into a big one with some text on it and some other text underneath the big text.

The text was written in what seemed to be some kind of runic alphabet, but Tahsi couldn't read any of it. He was far too busy just staring at it because he was very interested in what was written there. The second text was written in more common languages and it started out saying something about how kobolds didn't have a concept of the word "sex" or even "love" or even "kissing" or any of the other words that humans used when they talked about what they did with their girlfriends or boyfriends or spouses or whatever. It went on about how they didn't know what those words meant because they didn't have any concept of those things because they were so completely unproductive all the time. But right when Tahsi thought that the text was going to go on about how kobolds didn't have any knowledge of any kind of sex because they were so unproductive, there was a line of text that said something like:

That is why we have so many children! We have a lot of sex! How confusing. Tahsi needed to learn more!

The next page turned into a big one with some text on it and some other text underneath the big text.

"Are you too busy in your studies, your cultliness?" asked the subversive voice of Floglo, Tahsi's beloved cult advisor.

"Oh, no, no at all!" said Tahsi as he stuffed the porn book behind his back and whipped open his book about being unproductive. "Just

being unproductive is all." Tahsi appreciated Floglo, his beloved cult advisor, but he also thought his name was a little weird and that he seemed a little familiar. Still, Floglo seemed to have Tahsi's best interests in mind. At least, that's what he told Tahsi all the time. It might not matter to Tahsi if Floglo wanted to be his cult advisor because that's exactly what Tahsi wanted – someone who wanted to be his cult advisor – but right now he was curious about Floglo so he looked up from his book and said: "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to tell you that you're getting your order wrong again," said Floglo. "You're supposed to get a bunch of pens and books for your son."

"Oh!" said Tahsi, looking down at his little finger. He could see the little metal pen that was stuck on it. "You mean this?"

"Yes," said Floglo, nodding. "You're supposed to get a bunch of pens and books for your son."

"Oh, right!" said Tahsi as he pulled off his finger and put it in a little box next to him. "I'll do that right now!"

Floglo nodded and said: "Excellent. Also, you've got your five o'clock preaching session coming up. I wouldn't want the cult to feel less brainwashed this evening due to your hard work at being unproductive."

"Oh, of course!" said Tahsi. He leapt up. "I'll be right on that preaching session. As soon as I finish this loaf of bread, of course. I'll get right on that!"

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Tahsi wiped the breadcrumbs off his face and took a deep breath as he walked forward toward the podium. It was time to address his adoring cult.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat and burped, "Thank you all for being here this evening, and for allowing me to break some bread before

you on this cherished hour." Tahsi took a bite from yet another bread loaf. A nearby clergy member rolled their eyes. "Mmm. That's good. And what do you all think of bread? How does bread make you feel? How does it make you think?"

Tahsi took another bite and chewed it as he waited for someone to answer his question. None of them did though so he chewed some more and said: "Well? How does bread make you feel? How does it make you think?"

Finally, one of the cult members spoke up: "It makes me think about how I don't have any friends."

Tahsi nodded in agreement as he chewed some more. "That's nice," he said. Then he chewed some more and thought: I don't have any friends either! I guess I'm kind of like him! Except I'm not sad all the time! "Yes, very nice. It is a happy day when bread reminds us of these things. And now, let us talk about how bread has made our lives better."

No one said anything.

"Really? Am I going to have to tell you all how bread has improved my life?"

No one answered.

"Fine. I shall. You see, before I had bread, I was so poor that I begged for money in my head all the time! But then I had bread and everything changed! Now I have bread and I am no longer poor! And now that you know this, it is my job as an esteemed cult leader to tell you what a wonderful thing bread is!"

He took another bite as he waited for the crowd to respond enthusiastically but they just kept looking at him with disgust in their eyes as they kept chewing their food and thinking about how they didn't really get what he was saying.

"Look, bread is more than... well, it's more than just bread, you see? Bread is a way of life!" He took another bite and smiled happily at everyone as he chewed away. "Bread is my way of life! Bread is my way of... life." He took another bite and swallowed it whole before continuing: "Bread is my way of life! Bread is my way of... my way of... life!"

The cult members seemed to be responding to this repetition. A few even chanted softly 'bread is my way of life.' Yes, they were getting into it now. He could tell because they had stopped chewing their food and were just staring at him with hunger in their eyes. This was fine though because Tahsi was just getting started! He chewed some more then took another bite and announced: "Bread is my way of life! Bread is my way of life! Bread is my way of life! Say it with me now! Hallelujah! Bread is life, life is bread! Hallelujah!"

And with that, he fell to his knees in front of the crowd and began to eat the whole loaf of bread in one bite while they all watched in awe and the clergy member who rolled their eyes walked up to Tahsi with a horrified expression on their face but before they could do anything, Tahsi gave them a hearty smile and said: "It's delicious! Let's do another one!"

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After Tahsi had finished preaching the next day, Floglo approached him. "So how did that go?"

"Oh, it went great!" said Tahsi with a smile on his face. "I think I might be a little bit famous now!"

"Oh yeah? That's awesome!" said Floglo. "I'm so proud of you!"

Tahsi laughed happily. "Well, thank you! It's all thanks to you guys though! Thanks for all your support!"

"Just one thing, though," said Floglo. "What?" asked Tahsi.

"Well, um," Floglo sighed. "It's about your son." "My son?"

"Your son, Tahsi," said Floglo

"What about him?" Tahsi asked.

"You're going to have to kill him," said Floglo. "What?!" said Tahsi.

"You heard what I said," said Floglo. "You're going to have to kill your son, Tahsi."