Oglo and the cultist traveled through the secret passageway for half an hour. During that time, the cultist explained to him a dastardly plan to lure Isabelle over to Chox, and with that to her doom. Oglo was understandably completely on board.

At the end of the secret passageway was the entrance to the main temple. They stepped inside and walked down another hall lit by torches. Finally, they reached a massive wooden door.

“Now, in here we will meet the high priest,” said the kobold lady with a hushed voice. “Let me warn you now, he takes himself very seriously. Don’t make fun of him.”

“Okay?” said Oglo, confused as to why she’d think he would make fun of a priest.

The Choxian cultist knocked on the door twice, paused, then knocked again. After a minute, the door opened and a man stood before them. He was tall, thin, bald, and wore a fancy suit.

“Nice to meet you, your holiness,” said Oglo, bowing his head.

“I’m not the high priest,” said the man with a grimace. “I am his manservant. Please, follow me.”

Oglo did so, and they slowly walked down another long hall until they came to a stop at another door. This door had a sign next to it that read: HIGH PRIESTESS.

“I thought you said he was a he,” said Oglo.

“The high priest uses he/she/they pronouns,” said the cultist lady. “And they’re very proud of it, too. Don’t make fun of her for it.”

“Okay,” said Oglo. “But wait, which pronouns do I use for him them her then?”

“Literally any of them,” said the cultist lady. “Just don’t be a dick about it and use all three like you just did then.”

Oglo shut his mouth and nodded obediently.

Suddenly, a hoarse coughing echoed beyond the closed door.

“Shit!” said Oglo. “Is she okay?”

“He’s probably fine,” said the kobold cultist with a sigh. She nodded to the high priest’s manservant, who unlocked the door.

It swung open to reveal a strong fog of pungent smoke.

“Holy shit, it smells like a skunk’s rotting carcass in here!” said Oglo.

The kobold cultist scowled at him.

They walked into the room, and the smell hit Oglo like a punch in the face. It smelled like someone had dumped a barrel of feces over their clothes and then rolled around in the pile, trying to claw up the stench.

“Oh my god, what is that awful scent?!” he said.

The high priestess sat in a chair that looked like something from a medieval torture chamber. Her hair was wild and disheveled, and her eyes were bloodshot. She held in her lap a large, glass beaker with a stem sticking out of its base.

“Ah, you must be Oglo,” she said. His voice sounded weak and raspy.

Oglo shook his head.

“No, I mean, you are Oglo, but also you aren’t Oglo, because you are a kobold, and what is a rectangle is a square but what is a square is not always a rectangle,” they clarified.

“I know, I know,” said Oglo. He looked at the kobold cultist.

“Please, have a seat, Oglo,” said the high priest. They held the beaker up and gestured towards Oglo. “And, if you are so inclined, feel free to take a fat rip of this dank bud. Do be warned, though, it will get you blazed as hell.”

Oglo frowned at the offer, unsure whether or not he should partake.

“You can trust me, little one,” said the high priest. The rest of her body was enveloped by the thick haze of smoke as he exhaled more of the pungent smoke. “Damn, this shit is fire. I’m spacing the fuck out right now.”

“Sorry, your holiness,” said the cultist lady, “I wouldn’t have brought him here if I’d have known you were getting baked as fuck, as they say.”

“It’s totally cool, Surki,” said the high priest. “Please, though, I’d absolutely love it if you and your new friend took a moment and got stoned off your asses with me before we talked business.”

“Okay, sure,” said Oglo. He breathed deeply and inhaled some of the thick smoke from the bowl. A wave of dizziness washed over him, and he felt a bit lightheaded. He glanced at the high priest and the cultist lady.

Their eyes glazed over and they stared blankly into space.

They both laughed, and Oglo noticed the high priestess was drooling slightly.

“Be sure you clear that shit, guy,” said the high priest. “Don’t waste the bowl.”

Oglo looked at the thick, cloudy smoke still coiling around inside the glass. He placed his lips to the top again and took a deep breath, blowing the smoke out through his nostrils. The room filled with the sweet, pungent smell of pot, which Oglo no longer found disgusting in any way.

“Ahhh, this feels good, man,” said Oglo.

“Yeah, dude, it does, doesn’t it?” said the kobold cultist. So her name was Surki? She was pretty cute. She grinned at Oglo, her face partially obscured by the thick smoke.

“Let me ask you a question, little one,” said the high priest.

“Sure, what is it, your holiness?”

“Do you believe in Gods?”

“I do,” said Oglo.

“Well, I don’t,” said the high priestess, taking another rip with a cough and a hack. “Shit, that was a rough one.”

“Why not?” asked Oglo. “Aren’t you a high priest?”

“That’s right, Oglo, I am a high priestess, but I just don’t buy into all bullshit religious types spew about salvation and worship and so on and so forth. What a bunch of hogwash. I mean, sure, there are plenty of gods. There are spirits, and even some sort of extra-dimensional beings that are out there. But nothing like the religions claim. It’s all just a bunch of nonsense,” said the high priest.

“You don’t seem very religious yourself, then,” said Oglo.

“Oh, I am, little one. In fact, I do my best to live a pious life. I give money to charity, I tithe to the church, I volunteer for soup kitchens. I pray and lead sermons almost every day and even though I don’t really care for any of it, I try to pay attention to what people think about Choxianism and its eccentricities.”

“So, do you believe in Gods?” asked Oglo.

The high priest shook her head.

“No, I don’t. At least, I don’t anymore. Too unreliable. I’ve gotten boons from them, sure, but who wants to go talk to some dick living in a statue every few weeks in exchange for powers? It’s all so tiresome. And, besides, I kind of figured that if there were any real Gods that gave a single fuck about us worshippers, then they would have come down and saved us from the fucking enemy already.”

“What about you, Surki?” Oglo asked the kobold lady.

“I don’t know,” she said. She blew a thin stream of smoke out of her nose and coughed. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she enjoyed the feeling of the smoke curling up from between her teeth.

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“I guess I used to,” said Surki, after a while. She looked at Oglo.

“But when I got older and realized how many different Gods there are, and each of them has so much shit they want you to do, it seemed like too much work. I was always confused, and I didn’t know which one to follow or whatever, so I just stopped.”

“So, you are a nonbeliever now, huh?” said the high priest.

Surki nodded.

“Yeah. I guess you could say that. Why? Do you still believe in something, Oglo?”

“Not really. Well, I guess there is something I believe in, but it’s not so much a deity as it is a concept.”

“Okay, what is that?” asked the high priestess.

Oglo thought for a moment.

“I believe in the idea of freedom,” he said. “More specifically, the idea of free will, and more specifically than that, I believe in the idea of freedom to seek out revenge against those who have wronged you.”

Surki smiled a big, wide smile.

“I can dig that!” she said.

“It is a noble thing to believe in, yes,” replied the high priestess.

“Especially that gods awful player!” said Oglo. “What’s her name again? Snake Lady?”

“Do you mean Isabelle?” asked Surki.

“Yes!” said Oglo. “She is a great player. Very good, but also a terrible student. She ruined my life, and I hate her for it. So, I believe in the idea of freedom to seek vengeance upon the person who wronged me. Freedom to seek out and destroy Isabelle and all those who support her.”

There was silence for a long time. The three looked at each other, and they knew that both were thinking the same thing.

“We should kill her,” said Oglo finally.

“I agree,” said the high priestess. “I love killing people, especially when it benefits the Cult of Chox.”

“And this is why I brought you, Oglo,” said Surki. “You see, there’s something we at Chox have discovered that could allow us all to succeed: you in your goals of revenge against the Isabelle, and us in our goals of concentrating and controlling our power over the Cult of Chox.”

“Stop hogging the bong, Surki,” said the high priest.

“Sorry,” said Surki.

She passed the cloudy glass to Oglo. He took a hard rip, which sent him into a coughing fit.

“So, what is the plan?” he asked when he had recovered.

“Well, first off, we need you to get us a bunch of weapons,” said Surki. “Preferably by convincing other Choxian cultists to amass weapons on our behalf. However, before we can even begin to think about weapons, we must first ensure that our lure is well-placed.”

“Your lure?” asked Oglo. He passed the bong to the high preistess.

“Yes, the lure,” said the high priest. They took a long rip. “Let’s finish up this bowl and then we’ll go see him.”

“Him?” asked Oglo.

“Yes,” said Surki. “Him.” She hit the bong.

The three sat in silence for a while, enjoying the feel of the smoke swirling around their bodies.

“Who is he?” Oglo asked, eventually. Then, he took a hit. The bowl was nearly spent.

“He is a very important member of the Cult of Chox,” said the high priestess. “Rather, he looks just like a very important member of the Cult of Chox. Almost like a doppelgänger.”

“Like a vampire,” said Surki, passing the bong back to the high priest.

“No, no,” said the high priestess. She took another hit. “Like a kobold. He looks like a kobold, Surki.”

“You sound high,” said Surki.

“I am high, Surki,” said the high priestess.

“Just relax,” said Oglo. This was a bit of a hypocritical comment, as he was presently feeling a little paranoid.

“Right,” said the high priestess. She took another drag.

“This kobold,” said Oglo, when she had finished.

“Yes, this kobold,” said the high priestess.

“Wait, which kobold?” asked Surki.

“All of them,” said the high priestess.

They all took a hit of the bong.

“That’s some good shit,” said Oglo.

“Indeed it is,” said the high priestess.

“So, which one of these kobolds is the real kobold?” asked Oglo, handing the bong back to the high priestess.

“Nothing’s real, man,” said the high priest. “Existence is a temporary illusion. We are all just passing through.”

“What do you mean, we?” asked Oglo.

“I mean us,” said the high priest.

“Us,” said Oglo.

“Me and you,” said the high priestess.

“Me, too,” said Surki.

“And me,” said Oglo.

“Now you’re getting it,” said the high priestess.

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Did someone say threesome?” asked Surki suddenly.

“What? No, no!” said the high priestess, hastily.

Oglo and Surki both laughed.

“I thought I heard you say something about a threesome,” Surki said.

“No, no, no,” said the high priestess.

They giggled some more.

“But, what if there were a group of people who did have a threesome with each other?” asked Surki.

“Oh my god, that could be fun,” said Surki, taking a hit from the bong and pretending that she hadn’t just agreed with herself.

“It would… certainly be interesting,” agreed Oglo.

“I don’t know if I want to, but, yeah, sure, why not?” said Surki.

“Why not indeed?” said the high priest, in a sudden change of heart.

They all took a hit of the bong. At the same time.

----------------------------------------

“Wow, that was the wildest sex I’ve ever had in my life,” said Oglo. He looked to the high priest. “And somehow it made it even better that you never took any of your clothes off.”

“That’s what I’ve often heard,” said the priestess.

“I felt a little left out, honestly,” said Surki. “Which is silly, because the whole thing was my idea. But still. I feel like I missed out.”

The high priestess laughed. He seemed much more comfortable now. The effects of the drugs were wearing off now that they’d all had strong orgasms. Even Surki, because in actuality she’d found being sexually dissatisfied and ignored incredibly arousing.

They reached the end of the dungeon corridor. They stepped into a big open chamber, and there, right in front of them, was what appeared to be a huge pile of gold coins.

“Holy shit!” said Oglo.

“Yea, tithing really adds up,” said the high priest. “You would not imagine how lucrative holy works can be when everyone gives just a small amount on a regular basis. It makes it so easy to build up an enormous fortune in the temple fund. Especially when it comes from all over the world, where different currencies go for a lot of money. I think we had about three thousand gold pieces worth at first. Now, we probably have a million or two. My personal wealth has grown by orders of magnitude. I am a very rich kobold. I have absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Surki looked around the room carefully. There were several piles of gold coins scattered throughout the room. Some of them were as tall as a person.

There was a table in the center of the room, too. The top of it was covered in a thick layer of dust.

Oglo walked over to the table and began lifting up some of the layers of dust. He pulled aside a cloth and saw a book sitting on the table. It was a large leather-bound volume, and the title of it was written in red ink: The Book Of Kobold Sex Positions.

“I don’t understand,” said Oglo.

“Neither do I,” said the high priestess.

“This looks like a reference guide on positions,” said Surki. She picked up the book and flipped through it. There were drawings of several different kobolds performing various sex acts.

“I thought you guys didn’t believe in human sexual positions,” said Oglo.

“We don’t,” said the high priestess. “That’s why it’s the book of kobold sexual positions.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” said Oglo. “Why do you have it, though?”

“The Cult of Chox is a cult,” said Surki. “What kind of a cult would be if we didn’t have a bunch of sex?”

“Exactly,” said the high priestess. She kissed Surki on the cheek.

Then he turned to Oglo.

“Is this good enough for you? Is this what you were hoping to find down here?” they asked.

“I mean, it’s cool enough,” said Oglo. “But I thought you were going to show me this Chox ‘doppelgänger’ you’ve found to lure Isabelle to come here into our trap.”

“I know,” said the high priestess. “But I thought you might wanna see this room first because it’s really cool. Also because maybe you ought to study that book a little before your next threesome. No offense.”

“None taken,” said Oglo.

“Yea,” said Surki.

“It’s actually pretty hot, though, isn’t it?” said the high priestess.

“Yea, it is,” said Oglo. He stood up straight and stared at the gold coins on the table. Then he turned to the high priestess. “You uh you don’t wanna try one out now, do—”

“Gods no,” said the high priest. “I only have sex once a month.”

“I do,” said Surki.

“Oh,” said Oglo, noticeably disappointed. “I mean, okay. Do you mind if we do it here on top of all this gold, priestess?”

“Not at all,” said the priest. “I would however like to watch.”

----------------------------------------

Oglo followed the high priest and Surki down the long, winding staircase that led to the cell where they were holding the mysterious doppelgänger.

As they descended into the darkness, Oglo noticed that the walls and ceiling got progressively worse. The stone was cracked and chipped. The stairway was filled with small holes and cracks.

“Does this lead to hell?” asked Oglo, in spite of himself.

“No, silly,” said Surki. They stopped in front of a wooden door. It looked like it had been ripped off its hinges and thrown across the room.

“Let me guess,” said Oglo, taking a step forward. “The doppelgänger has super strength.”

“Nope, he’s just a normal looking kobold,” said the high preistess.

“Then what’s up with the door?” asked Oglo.

“Don’t worry about it,” said the high priest. “The last repairman was a literal ogre is all. He did his best.” They pressed her palm against the center of the door and it flew open.

The trio stepped inside the dark room and saw a small pile of straw on the floor. In the dim light, Oglo could make out a shape lying in the middle of it.

He squinted at it, wondering whether this was the doppelgänger or not.

“Hey! Wake up, asshole!” said Surki.

The figure on the ground jerked its head up and looked around. It was a red kobold, and there were what looked to be crumbs of bread covering its face.

“Oh, hi there, folks,” said the kobold. He pulled out a loaf of bread from behind his back and took a big chomp out of the side of it. “Would the three of you like any of my delicious bread?”