Isabelle stood in a fighting stance, holding her Staff of the Undead, prepared to cast a spell at a moment’s notice. The mysterious, hooded enemy raised his poison scimitar and chuckled.
“Yes, that’s right,” he said. “I work for the Overlord, and I’m one of his party members. Surely you’ve heard of the Overlord?”
Isabelle had heard of the Overlord. Briefly. She wasn’t really sure what all was going on with the Overlord, and really wasn’t a hundred percent certain who he was. But, she’d heard of him.
[Speechcraft attempt: mislead]
“Oh, yea,” said Isabelle. “I’ve heard of the Overlord.”
[Speechcraft had mixed results]
“Oh? So surely you know what I’m here to do with you, then?” asked the hooded man.
[Speechcraft attempt: deceive]
“Yes, I know,” Isabelle said. Her voice quivered.
[Speechcraft failed]
“Heh. Didn’t think so. Guess I should’ve told you, I’ve been able to level my speechcraft up a lot since I joined the Overlord’s party, so I’d be shocked if you could win a speechcraft check against me,” said the man. He twirled his scimitar smugly and equipped a cigarette in his strong left hand. He stuck the cigarette in his mouth, with only just showed from under the shadow of his hood, and focused on his left pointer finger. A small flame puffed up from it, which the man touched to his cigarette. He took a long, cool drag and exhaled through his nostrils. “Want a smoke?”
“I’m good,” said Isabelle. Truthfully, she did feel tempted, but she didn’t trust this guy and sure as hell wasn’t going to bum a cigarette from him. “So. What are you here to ‘do with me,’ you fucking creep?” Isabelle was almost startled by her own bluntness, but she was also proud of herself.
“Oh, so I’m a creep, am I?” asked the man, exhaling a puff of smoke from the side of his mouth. “It’s no matter what you think of me. You’re obviously inexperienced and unfamiliar with your system, and really you’re going to be no match for me. So I might as well explain a few things to you before I take you to the nearest cauldron.”
Isabelle felt very irritated by this hooded man. Who was he to say that she was inexperienced with her system? How did he know?
[Clarification: He checked your xp levels with the Overlord’s system.]
Isabelle rolled her eyes.
“First of all, just a heads up, you’ve got a lot of people looking for you. Like, a whole hell of a lot. I just lucked out in that I’d fed the Overlord recently and got a join party request from his system after talking to a member of the Red Serpent. Not that you know who the Red Serpent are, of course,” said the man.
Isabelle didn’t like how smug this hooded man was. Did the smugness come from how fit he was? It had to. Surely, though, he’d added a lot of points to his str with the system. Maybe even a little too many points.
“The short of it is, I’m going to take you captive and hand you off to the Red Serpent, who are essentially the Overlord’s executive officers,” said the man. “Once the Red Serpent has you, well, let’s just say that all of the power and leveling you’ve cultivated already are going to get dumped in a cauldron and boiled out of you, so that the Overlord can absorb your power and add it to his own. Of course, since I’m part of his system I’ll get a slight benefit for acting in his favor, as well as a monetary award. He and his team always describe it kind of like a triangle, where the Overlord is on top and his success and power trickles from the top of that tower and down and over all of his party members.”
“That sounds like a pyramid scheme,” said Isabelle.
“Sorry, a what?” asked the hooded man.
“You know, a pyramid scheme. An MLM. Et cetera,” said Isabelle.
“I have no idea what in the hell you’re talking about,” said the hooded man. He spat out his stump of a cigarette and stamped it out with a pointy, steel-tipped boot.
“Well, there’s only one thing you really ought to know,” said Isabelle. “And that’s that in a pyramid scheme, the one real rule is that everything goes to the top, and nothing trickles down!” Feeling dramatic, Isabelle thought, ‘Cast Shoot Lightning.’
[Mana 95%]
Isabelle watched as a brilliant crackle of lightning snaked thorugh the air towards the hooded man. He raised his arm in a split second. It glowed a hazy blue. The man then parried the lightning away from himself with his blue arm, sending it shooting through the air with a spark and a rumble of thunder.
“Nice try,” said the hooded man. “But you’re no match for me.”
Before Isabelle could argue that she actually was a match for this jerk, he dashed towards her and swung his scimitar into her gut over and over again in four gnarly snaps.
[-10 hp]
[-8 hp]
[-9 hp]
[-11 hp]
[You’ve been poisoned]
[You will lose 1 hp every minute while poisoned. Your stamina regen time has also been raised by 20%.]
[-1 hp]
“Isabelle!” said Tahsi, running up to her. He had half a loaf of bread equipped in his left hand, and his body was still riddled with arrows. “Are you okay? Is this creep fucking with you?”
“Seeing as he just stabbed me four times with a scimitar and poisoned me, I’d say hell yes, he’s fucking with me,” said Isabelle.
“I’ll show him who’s boss,” said Tahsi. He drew a longsword and charged towards the hooded man.
The hooded man only laughed and jumped out of the way of Tahsi’s swinging sword effortlessly. Then, he slashed Tahsi in the neck twice with his scimitar.
[Tahsi -12 hp]
[Tahsi -21 hp]
Before Tahsi could react, the hooded man kicked him in the knee and pushed him with so much force that he slammed into the trunk of a nearby tree.
[Tahsi -15 hp]
[-1 hp]
Damn. Isabelle needed to put some damage on this bastard of a hooded man, and fast. If only she knew his name, so that she could stop thinking of him solely as the hooded man.
“Hey, uh, what’s your name?” Isabelle asked the hooded man.
“Stelas,” said the hooded man. “Stelas Stelford. Not that you really need to know that, since I’m about to knock you the fuck out and feed you to the Red Serpent’s cauldron, but still.”
Isabelle raised her right hand and thought ‘Cast Ice Blast.’
[Mana 94%]
Ice sprayed over Stelas, staggering him back a bit.
[25 damage dealt]
What the fuck? Only 25 damage?
“Nice try, player,” said Stelas. “But my armor comes with protection against elemental attacks. This is child’s play for me.”
Before Isabelle could do as much as open her inventory, Stelas lunged towards her and slashed at her ankles with his scimitar.
[-5 hp]
Isabelle felt nauseated. The tunnel vision was back. She hadn’t been keeping track of her hp, but now she knew she was on the brink of death, and she felt every inch of it. She wondered: what the fuck could she do?
[Clarification: You still have a health potion in your inventory.]
Fucking duh. Had Stelas drained some of Isabelle’s int and wis or something each time he’d hit her?
[Clarification: No. You just forgot about the potion.]
Isabelle didn’t necessarily like that the system called out her rhetorical introspective thoughts, but she was also thankful it had let her know about the potion. Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 83.5/91
Item
Traits
Potion of Greater Health x1
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Potion of Endless Stamina x2
+0.5 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Potion of Greater Health drunken]
[+20 hp]
Wait a fucking second. Isabelle had potions of endles stamina in her inventory? She was drinking that shit immediately, no question.
[Potion of Endless Stamina drunken]
[Stamina 100%]
Okay, Isabelle needed to fight this fucking Stelas douche with something more than magic, seeing as all of her current destroy attacks seemed to be elemental based, and he was apparently resistant to that. Isabelle opened her inventory again, this time thinking of her giant spider armor.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 83.5/91
Item
Traits
Giant Spider Armor (human)
+4 hp, +8 str, +13 carry weight
Fang Blades (poisoned)
+3 poison, +8 damage, +1 str, +1 dx, +5 carry weight
Giant Spider Gauntlets
+4 damage, +3 stm, +1 dx, +3 carry weight
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
Giant Spider Boots
+4 stm, +2 str, +1 dx, +5 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Giant spider armor (human) equipped]
[+4 hp]
[+8 str]
[Fang Blades (poisoned) equipped]
[+3 poison]
[+8 damage]
[+1 str]
[+1 dx]
[Giant spider gauntlets equipped]
[+4 damage]
[+3 stm]
[+1 dx]
[Giant spider boots equipped]
[+4 stm]
[+2 str]
[+1 dx]
[-1 hp]
Time to give this fucking muscle-bound stealth archer creep a run for his money. Isabelle dashed forward and slashed at his well-developed chest eight times.
[888 damage dealt]
[‘Stelas Stelford’ is poisoned]
“Ack!” Stelas said.
[Stamina 100%]
Shit. That meant Isabelle could just keep slashing at him. So, she raised her fang blades and slashed at him twenty times.
[‘Stelas Stelford’ is poisoned]
[Stamina 100%]
Pfft. This was ridiculous! Isabelle could just keep slashing away at this motherfucker until he was cut to a pulp. He was kneeling on the ground, and looked haggard as fuck. She slashed down at hise neck and head twenty six times.
[2242 damage dealt]
[‘Stelas Stelford’ is poisoned]
[‘Fang Blades’ have been broken]
[Stamina 100%]
Shit. Isabelle watched as her fang blades split to bits and fell to the ground in irreparable pieces. Still, how in the fuck was this Stelford guy even alive? She’d just hit him twenty six times! Isabelle opened her inventory to see what other weapons she had at her disposal.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 78.5/91
Item
Traits
Orcish Longbow
+5 damage, +1 dx, +1.5 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Fuck. That was really all she had in her inventory? Isabelle had thought she’d surely had a sword or something. Or a dagger. Shit. Isabelle wasn’t about to use a longbow at close range, as… interesting as that sounded. She instead decided to raise her fists and punch and kick the shit out of Stelas, hitting him eighteen times.
[1005 damage dealt]
[Melee combat increased to level 4]
[Stamina 100%]
How was Stelas alive? He was coughing up blood, and was knelt on the ground. He heaved and wretched weakly. Isabelle kicked him in the face.
[88 damage dealt]
[Stamina 100%]
Damn. This was too easy. Isabelle kicked Stelas in the face five more times.
[345 damage dealt]
[Stamina 100%]
[-1 hp]
He was still fucking alive.
“Isabelle!” said Sir Jingles. He scurried up to the scene. “I noticed that Tahsi got knocked unconscious and came running right after I finished licking my butt clean. Is this creep messing with you?”
“Yes,” said Isabelle. “But I’m hoping I can kill him soon.”
“Kill me? Hah!” said Stelas. He stood back up and shook the blood off his skin. He appeared unscathed. “Good luck with that. As I said earlier, I’m a part of the Overlord’s party.”
“Fuck’s sake, Isabelle,” said Sir Jingles. “Why in the hell haven’t you run away from him as fast as you could?”
“What do you mean, Sir Jingles?” asked Isabelle. “I’d almost killed him! He was knelt on the ground coughing up blood a second ago. I did thousands and thousands of points of damage against him!”
“Pfft,” said Stelas. He equipped another cigarette. He lit it with his flaming finger spell, and he took a few short puffs. “You really don’t get it, do you, player?”
“Get what?” asked Isabelle.
“You can’t fucking kill me. I’m a member of the Overlord’s system. And that means that I can’t fucking die,” said Stelas. He cackled evilly. Then, he took a deep breath and blew a wind out of his mouth with such force that it propelled Isabelle, Sir Jingles, and even the unconscious Tahsi many, many feet away into a far section of woodland.
[Combat mode deactivated]
“What? Why did combat mode deactivate?” asked Isabelle.
“He must’ve knocked us more than fifty feet away from him,” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle ran over to Tahsi and looked at him. He absolutely covered in arrows. “Oh, Tahsi, you poor pincushion!” she said. Isabelle focused on each arrow and added them to her inventory. “Thanks for the arrows, Tahsi.”
“Sorry, what did you say?” Tahsi said, faintly awakening from his stupor. “Did you just thank me for something, Isabelle? Also, where did all those arrows I was collecting in my skin go just now?”
“Don’t worry about it, Tahsi. Equip some bread and heal yourself up,” said Isabelle.
“I mean, okay. Can’t argue with that logic,” said Tahsi. He equipped some bread and munched on it with groggy glee.
[-15 hp]
Isabelle felt a throbbing pain in her heart.
“Shit, Isabelle!” said Sir Jingles. “There’s an arrow in your back!”
“Damn it!” said Isabelle. “It’s that Stelas guy, isn’t it? He attacked me?”
“Who?” asked Sir Jingles.
“That asshole who I was just fighting,” said Isabelle. “His name is Stelas. I think he’s a stealth archer. A very fit stealth archer.”
“Okay,” said Sir Jingles.
“Look, Jingles, I need you to take this situation seriously. I only have, fuck, like five hp left after that arrow hit me?” said Isabelle.
[Clarification: You have 6 hp left.]
Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I have six hp left. Sir Jingles, do you have any of those throwing daggers left?”
“Oh, hell no,” said Sir Jingles. “I used them all up ages ago. I do have some health potions, though.”
“Thank god. Give me one,” said Isabelle.
“Um, I don’t know about that, Isabelle,” said Sir Jingles. “What if I get hurt?”
An arrow struck Isabelle in the chest.
[-5 hp]
Isabelle fell to her knees. The tunnel vision was coming on again.
[Speechcraft attempt: intimidate]
“Come on, give me one, you fucking idiot!” said Isabelle. “Do you want me to die? Do you want to find out what happens to a party member when their player dies?” Isabelle threatened, even thought she herself had no idea if anything happened to a party member when their player died.
[Speechcraft succeeded]
[Speechcraft increased to level 6]
That was fucking rich. Isabelle was being hunted by the Overlord’s stealth archer, apparently, and now she finally managed to level up her speechcraft.
“Okay, okay, you can have a potion, my gods!” said Sir Jingles. He handed her a glass bottle of green liquid. “Here, take it!”
Isabelle snatched the potion and drunk it in a fast swig.
[+20 hp]
“Whew. I feel so much better,” said Isabelle. Then, an arrow struck her in the neck.
[-15 hp]
“Fuck’s sake,” said Isabelle. “What a cheap ass build, being a stealth archer.”
"Not only is it cheap,” said Sir Jingles, “But it pays, too.”
Isabelle tried to parse that statement, but she really had no idea what Sir Jingles was talking about. Then again, she figured somebody with Stelas’ ability would definitely get a good bankroll from the Overlord and all his evil ways.
Another arrow hit Isabelle, this time in the knee.
[-4 hp]
“Fuck!” said Isabelle. She felt sick and deathly again. She turned ot Sir Jingles. “Give me another potion, you cat bastard!”
“Okay,” said Sir Jingles. “But please, don’t call me a cat bastard again.”
Isabelle agreed not to call Sir Jingles a cat bastard as she took his potion and drank it.
[+20 hp]
“Now, just a heads up, that’s all I’ve got,” said Sir Jingles.
“Okay,” said Isabelle. “It’ll have to be enough.”
Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 78.5/91
Item
Traits
Orcish Longbow
+5 damage, +1 dx, +1.5 carry weight
Standard Arrow x12
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Sure, maybe Stelas really couldn’t be killed. But Isabelle didn’t feel too keen on basing all of her choices on something an enemy had told her. Plus, they were so far away from him now that there was a slight chance she could try and out stealth archer the stealth archer.
[Orcish Longbow equipped]
[+5 damage]
[+1 dx]
[Standard Arrow x12 equipped]
Now, where was the bastard, exactly? An arrow shot through the air and hit a tree. Isabelle laughed. He’d missed!
Isabelle crouched.
[Current visibility: 300/300]
Ugh! So he could still see her? Isabelle looked and saw Sir Jingles’ cat eyes staring right at her. So that was why her visbility was 300/300. If only Isabelle could see Stelas, then she could focus on him and have the system tell her whether he could see her. Oh well. Isabelle would just have to hope her crouch was working. She crawled in the direction of the arrow.
“Hey, Isabelle, what do you want me to do?” asked Sir Jingles.
“Do you have any weapons?” asked Isabelle.
“No, not other than the sword and dagger that there’s no way in hell I’ll give you,” said Sir Jingles. “However, Tahsi does have a longsword, and he’s still unconscious.”
Isabelle told Sir Jingles to bring her the longsword, just in case. He ran it over to her, and Isabelle added the longsword to her inventory. Then, orcish longbow at the ready, Isabelle crept forward in the direction of the last arrow fired.
For a while, Isabelle just watched as she passed by trees and shadows of plants, wondering if each gust of wind mind blow her cover and reveal her to Stelas, who was surely lurking.
[Combat mode activated]
Great. She’d finally gotten close enough to be in combat range with Stelas. If only she could see him! Isabelle thought, ‘Activate Combat Lock.’
Isabelle watched as he body swiveled around to the right. She still couldn’t see Stelas, but what she did see was an arrow sail right by her head.
[Current visibility: 0/300]
“Holy shit,” Isabelle said.
[Current visibility: 5/300]
“Who said that?” asked Stelas’ voice.
Isabelle rolled her eyes.
[Current visibility: 0/300]
“Huh. Must’ve been the wind,” said Stelas.
Isabelle could see him now, he was crouched behind a fallen tree branch.
“Damn. Where’d that player go?” Stelas asked himself. Isabelle held back a chuckle as she crept around the branch and got right behind him. She opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 86.5/91
Item
Traits
Steel Longsword
+5 str, +5 damage, +8 carry eight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Steel Longsword equipped]
[+5 str]
[+5 damage]
Isabelle took a final step forward and raised the longsword. She took a deep breath, and the she swung it down across Stelas’ neck.
[Sneak attack]
[Critical hit]
[3025 damage dealt]
[Stamina 85%]
Isabelle watched as Stelas’ head popped off from his neck and thudded on the forest floor, rolling around a little as the stump left atop his torso sprayed a hearty helping of blood.
The most horrible thing happened. Stelas’ disembodied head started laughing.
“Nice try, player!” said Stelas.
Before Isabelle could react, Stelas’ body stood up from his crouching position and equipped two daggers. Isabelle tried to stand up and fight, but Stelas’ body was too fast. He tripped her with his feet, pounced on top of her, and stabbed her in the chest three times.
[-20 hp]
Shit.
“I told you, player—” said Stelas, “—I can’t fucking die. You can’t kill me. But I sure as hell can kill you.”