“Holy shit, Isabelle, did you just slay the dragon?” said Tahsi through a mouthful of bread.
The kobold put his claw on Isabelle’s shoulder and squeezed it affectionately. She rolled her eyes. “No. The dragon’s neck just got sliced off magically on its own, due to some unknown and unforseen force.”
“Oh,” said Tahsi. “That’s kinda scary.”
“I was being sarcastic, Tahsi,” said Isabelle. “Isn’t your speechcraft and charisma super high? Why would you have trouble recognizing my sarcasm?”
“Isabelle, you have to realize, an unknown and unforseen force beheading a dragon isn’t necessarily improbable. Especially considering the fact that there was even a fucking dragon. As far as I’m concerned, all bets are off!” said Tahsi.
That was fair enough.
“Anyway, Isabelle, do you want any bread?” Tahsi raised an eyebrow hopefully.
Isabelle was sick of Tahsi distracting her from looting the dragon’s carcass. She took a small piece of brittle bread and chomped down, just to get him off her back.
[+3 hp]
[+2 hp]
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Swallowing the harsh bread wasn’t much different from swallowing rocks or nails, but hp was hp, Isabelle figured.
[+1 hp]
[hp full]
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Isabelle thanked Tahsi for the bread and focused back to the dragon carcass at hand.
[Loot ‘Young Red Dragon’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Young Red Dragon
Item
Traits
Young Red Dragon Hide x20
+15 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Scales x20
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Bones x20
+11 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Skull
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Eye x2
+10 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Heart x1
+8 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Claw x12
+15 carry weight
Garnet
n/a
Tourmaline x2
n/a
Amethyst
n/a
Pearl
n/a
Amber
n/a
Silver Crown
+1 carry weight
Silver Necklace with Gemstone Pendant
+0.5 carry weight
Gold Embroidered Robe
+5 carry weight
Ancient Scroll x2
n/a
Potion of Greater Health x3
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Gold-Studded Jacket
+6 carry weight
Golden Flute
+0.5 carry weight
Horseshoes of Lickedy Speed
+3 horse speed, +5 carry weight
Potion of Mind Reading
+0.5 carry weight
Gold-Lined Folding Boat
+6 carry weight
Golden Jug
+0.5 carry weight
Golden Trident
+3 damage, +8 carry weight
Gold (10255)
n/a
That was it? Isabelle was looting a damn dragon. Sure, sure, there were some cool things here. All of the dragon specific things, like the dragon scales, dragon hide, dragon bones, dragon heart, dragon eyes, and the dragon claws seemed very cool, and Isabelle was certain she could craft some stuff out of them that would more than make up for the fang blades she’d so frustratingly broken earlier. But really, she was upset that the damn thing hadn’t been carrying more gold. Sure, ten thousand two hundred fifty five gold was a nice sum. It was more gold than Isabelle had already, that was for sure, and it would go nicely in her inventory. But, at the same time, Isabelle couldn’t help but wonder if a dragon wouldn’t have much, much more than a measley ten thousand two hundred fifty five gold. Isabelle guessed it was such a paltry sum because the dragon was young. Still, she found it disappointing.
[Clarification: Dragons are known for keeping vast sums of gold in hoards. Accessing a dragon’s inventory does not necessarily give you access to its hoard.]
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Of course. Isabelle should’ve known. She looked back at the dead dragon’s inventory and considered it. There was no way in hell she could take everything from it and not be over encumbered. Worse still, there was no way in hell Isabelle could even take one piece of dragon hide without being over encumbered! And to think, she’d already been fantasizing about crafting some sick armor made out of this dragon. It just wasn’t fair. Isabelle had slain this dragon, and she wanted all of its damn loot. Every last bit of it.
[Notice: You’re ready to level up]
Then again, maybe she could have all of the loot. Isabelle wasn’t sure how. Part of her thought that she could pool all her new skill points into const and see what happened, but that felt wasteful and inefficient. Isabelle would have to do something else. Maybe, instead, if she put a lot of points to her int, she could figure out a way around this looting catastrophe. So, Isabelle shrugged.
[Notice: You’ve reached level 15!]
[Notice: You have attribute and skill points to spend]
[Would you like to spend your points now?]
[Y/N]
Isabelle thought yes.
Attributes Points to Spend: 10
Hp:
46
H-Regen:
3/50sec
Mana:
35
M-Regen:
2/min
Stm:
36
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
Hell yes. Ten points. About damn time. Isabelle decided she’d go ahead and throw five points towards her abysmal m-regen time. That left five points more to spend. Isabelle decided to put all five to her mana, as she’d been using an awful lot of it recently.
Skill Points to Spend: 10
Str:
23
Int:
24
Dx:
22
Wis:
23
Const:
20
Char:
21
Ten skill points! Isabelle barely knew what to do with herself. She decided to raise her const by four points, she needed more const regardless of all the dragon’s loot. Two points went to her dx, because Isabelle felt like every time she leveled up her dx, she did better in combat. That left four points to go towards Isabelle’s int, and hopefully help her think of what to do with all this extra loot.
[Congratulations, you’ve finished leveling up!]
Isabelle smiled.
Character Status
Name:
Isabelle
Gender:
Female
Level:
15
Class:
Undefined
Race:
Human
Alignment:
Neutral-Neutral
Attributes
Hp:
46
H-Regen:
3/50sec
Mana:
40
M-Regen:
2/45sec
Stm:
32
S-Regen:
0.5/sec
Skill Points
Str:
23
Int:
28
Dx:
24
Wis:
23
Const:
24
Char:
21
Magic Ability Levels
Enchant:
0
A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Summon:
0
Heal:
0
Destroy:
6
Transmute:
0
Confuse:
0
Normal Ability Levels
Crafting:
4
Sneak:
6
Archery:
7
Lockpick:
0
Armed Combat:
7
Melee Combat:
4
Speechcraft:
6
Sleight Of Hand:
3
Not only did Isabelle just love seeing her character sheet improve after leveling up, but she also immediately knew what she could do about all this dragon loot. Isabelle thought, ‘Come here, horses.’
With a chorus of gallops and whinnies, the party’s three horses ran up to greet Isabelle. She petted them each and baby-talked at them for a second. Then, Isabelle walked over to the burlap sack hanging off the side of Lugano’s saddle.
“Hello, Stelas,” said Isabelle.
“Hello, asshole,” said the muffled voice of Stelas’ severed head from inside the burlap sack. “How can I refuse to help you?”
“What’s your carrying capacity again, Stelas?” asked Isabelle.
Stelas blew a raspberry. “Oh, like I would tell you.”
Isabelle opened the burlap sack and focused on the white hair on top of Stelas’ head.
[Loot ‘Stelas Stelford’?]
“Oh my gods, don’t fucking loot me for it!” said Stelas. “That’s just demeaning! I think my carrying capacity is, like, one hundred? Thereabouts?”
“Hmmm,” said Isabelle. “And how much do carry weight do you have available now?”
“Gods, you actually ought to have just looted me after all!” said Stelas. “Listen, I don’t keep a mental list of exactly what all’s in my inventory, but I know I’ve got about twenty carrying weight left in it. But you know what?”
“What?” asked Isabelle.
“None of this matters any more. Remember when the young red dragon set part of the woods on fire before you killed it?” asked Stelas.
“Yes,” said Isabelle.
“Well, you see, that fire kept spreading. Yes, spread it did, down to the southwest.” Stelas stopped talking to clear his throat and cackle lightly before continuing. “I’m sure you’re wondering how I know, and I’m happy to tell you. Remember my body, the body my severed head was once attached to? My body, that you so cruelly froze in place with your dastardly ice magic?”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. Of course she remembered that! Also, ice magic? She’d been using destroy magic. Stelas was obviously a fool.
“I’m assuming that you remember, since you haven’t said anything back to me,” said Stelas. “Well, it’s thawing out. I can feel it. Yes, that’s right. I can actually feel the flames melting my body out of its icy prison this very moment. Sure, it’ll take a while, and yes, it will be incredibly painful to then catch fire. But, and it’s a big but, I’ll then be free. Free as a bird. Oh yes, my body will have to traverse the hellfire of the woodlands, but at the end of it will be the ultimate prize. When my body gets here, I will take you and I will gouge out your eyes, Isabelle. I’ll gouge them out, and I’ll fry them in a pan, and I’ll stick them on some of your kobold friend’s terrible bread and force feed it to him!”
Well shit. Isabelle wasn’t sure what to do. If what Stelas was telling her was true, then soon she’d have yet another issue on her hands. Then again, maybe Isabelle could kill two birds with one stone.
“Alright, you know what?” Isabelle asked rehtorically.
“What?” Stelas asked.
Isabelle opened the dragon’s inventory again.
Inventory: Young Red Dragon
Item
Traits
Young Red Dragon Hide x20
+15 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Scales x20
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Bones x20
+11 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Skull
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Eye x2
+10 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Heart x1
+8 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Claw x12
+15 carry weight
Garnet
n/a
Tourmaline x2
n/a
Amethyst
n/a
Pearl
n/a
Amber
n/a
Silver Crown
+1 carry weight
Silver Necklace with Gemstone Pendant
+0.5 carry weight
Gold Embroidered Robe
+5 carry weight
Ancient Scroll x2
n/a
Potion of Greater Health x3
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Gold-Studded Jacket
+6 carry weight
Golden Flute
+0.5 carry weight
Horseshoes of Lickedy Speed
+3 horse speed, +5 carry weight
Potion of Mind Reading
+0.5 carry weight
Gold-Lined Folding Boat
+6 carry weight
Golden Jug
+0.5 carry weight
Golden Trident
+3 damage, +8 carry weight
Gold (10255)
n/a
And she took absolutely everything from it.
Inventory: Young Red Dragon
Item
Traits
n/a
n/a
[Notice: You’re over encumbered. Please check your inventory.]
Perfect. Just as she’d planned. Isabelle opened her own inventory, focusing on all of the loot she’d just taken from the dragon. Well, all of the loot except the gold, the gemstones, and the two ancient scrolls. None of those items took up any carry weight.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 1270.5/122
Item
Traits
Young Red Dragon Hide x20
+15 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Scales x20
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Bones x20
+11 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Skull
+20 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Eye x2
+10 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Heart x1
+8 carry weight
Young Red Dragon Claw x12
+15 carry weight
Silver Crown
+1 carry weight
Silver Necklace with Gemstone Pendant
+0.5 carry weight
Gold Embroidered Robe
+5 carry weight
Potion of Greater Health x3
+20 hp, +0.5 carry weight
Gold-Studded Jacket
+6 carry weight
Golden Flute
+0.5 carry weight
Horseshoes of Lickedy Speed
+3 horse speed, +5 carry weight
Potion of Mind Reading
+0.5 carry weight
Gold-Lined Folding Boat
+6 carry weight
Golden Jug
+0.5 carry weight
Golden Trident
+3 damage, +8 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Perfect. Isabelle was horribly over encumbered. Isabelle was so over encumbered, she could barely move her neck. Absolutely perfect.
[Notice: You’re over encumbered. Please check your inventory.]
Now, Isabelle looked at the top of Stelas’ head and focused on it.
[Give ‘Young Red Dragon Hide x20,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Scales x20,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Bones x20,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Skull,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Eye x2,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Heart x1,’ ‘Young Red Dragon Claw x12,’ ‘Silver Crown,’ ‘Silver Necklace with Gemstone Pendant,’ ‘Gold Embroidered Robe,’ ‘Potion of Greater Health x3,’ ‘Gold-Studded Jacket,’ ‘Golden Flute,’ ‘Horseshoes of Lickedy Speed,’ ‘Potion of Mind Reading,’ ‘Gold-Lined Folding Boat,’ ‘Golden Jug,’ and ‘Golden Trident’ to ‘Stelas Stelford’?]
“Hey, what’s going on?” asked Stelas. “And why am I getting all the system notifications about you giving me things?”
Isabelle smirked and thought yes.
[Young Red Dragon Hide x20 removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Scales x20 removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Bones x20 removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Skull removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Eye x2 removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Heart x1 removed from inventory]
[Young Red Dragon Claw x12 removed from inventory]
[Silver Crown removed from inventory]
[Silver Necklace with Gemstone Pendant removed from inventory]
[Gold Embroidered Robe removed from inventory]
[Potion of Greater Health x3 removed from inventory]
[Gold-Studded Jacket removed from inventory]
[Golden Flute removed from inventory]
[Horseshoes of Lickedy Speed removed from inventory]
[Potion of Mind Reading removed from inventory]
[Gold-Lined Folding Boat removed from inventory]
[Golden Jug removed from inventory]
[Golden Trident removed from inventory]
“Oh my gods! What have you done?!” cried Stelas. “It even hurts to talk now! And there’s this horrible green system notice blinking over my vision telling me I’m over encumbered! And my body can’t move at all! My big toe had just melted out of the ice and now it can’t even twitch in the fresh air! You horrible, horrible monster!”
Isabelle only laughed. Now she had all the time in the world to craft whatever the hell she wanted withall those awesome dragon things. That is, as long as Stelas’ over encumbered state didn’t affect Lugano’s ability to horse around. To test this, Isabelle thought ‘Walk around a little, Lugano.’
The muscular, black and white speckled horse trotted around proudly, snorting a couple times for effect.
“Oh my gods!” said Stelas. “It’s even more nauseating bouncing around in this burlap sack while over encumbered! I feel terrible!”
Perfect. Isabelle had a lot of work to do now that she had access to all this awesome new loot, but there was one thing in particular that was absolutely eating at her mind, and it wasn’t how badly she wanted to craft herself some armor with the dragon hide and dragon scales she’d recovered. Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 89/122
Item
Traits
Ancient Scroll x2
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Ancient Scroll x2 equipped]
Isabelle watched as the two scrolls appeared in her hands. Both of them were harshly yellowed, and had gilded dragon head on either side of the roll. Isabelle unfurled the first scroll, feeling her heart beat as curiousity and excitement consumed her. What amazing arcane knowledge was held within this mighty script?
Song Of The Dragon
There lived a dragon young and red
With flights of fancy within its head
And so one day this dragon said
I’m sick of laying around in bed
Though gold and treasure it may surround me
I feel a lack of joy that’s quite confounding
Material posessions are but sand to me
Regardless of my pocketbook expanding
With that, the dragon took to the skies
Searching, striving, and trying to survive
After years of searching he couldn’t believe
The sights that had passed over his eyes
Small dwarven cities where all men thrive
In a perfect society thought impossible to achieve
All were brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts
And not one of them wore a pair of underpants
The dragon, confused, knew not what to do
How could a life like this people go through?
So the dragon he came to that place and he said
Explain to me your ways or I’ll bite of your heads!
Not wearing any clothing to cover your loins
Is a terrible thing! Plus, where are your coins?
It is true, indeed, this society the dragon saw
Did not need property, did not need law
For there the concept of currency was dead
Without money to use and money to spend
All the dwarves did was play, play, play to no end!
The dragon, disgusted, disgruntled, disenthused
Burned the whole place down and then took a fine snooze.
“What the fuck was that?” asked Isabelle, grimacing at the scroll.
“Oh shit, are you reading a dragon scroll?” asked Tahsi. He’d been eating bread and talking to Sir Jingles about horse financing and why it just wasn’t the best financial decision, but apparently Isabelle reading a ‘dragon scroll’ was far more interesting to him. “I fucking love dragon scrolls, they’re always so fun and crazy! Go on, open the next one up!”
“Um, Tahsi, can I ask you something?” said Isabelle.
“You just did,” said Tahsi.
Isabelle rolled her eyes. “Tahsi, what in the hell is a dragon scroll?”
“Oh, I forgot, you don’t know. A dragon scroll is a legendary thing. Essentially, every dragon generates them when they die, and they’re scrolls that detail emotional highlights in the life of the dragon. My parents read me popular reproductions of them when I was little. They’ve got a really special place in my heart,” said Tahsi. “Go on, then, open the next one! I can’t believe it! An actual dragon scroll!”
“I’m…not going to do that,” said Isabelle. “But, you know what, Tahsi? Since you like these things so much, you can have them.”
“Are you fucking shitting me?” asked Tahsi. “Seriously?”
“Yes. Take them,” said Isabelle.
Tahsi started bawling. He hugged Isabelle way too tightly and whispered in her ear. “Thank you. Thank you so much. You have no idea what this means to me.”
[Give ‘Ancient Scroll x2’ to ‘Tahsi’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
[Ancient Scroll x2 removed from inventory]
“I’m gonna give you so much bread, Isabelle!” said Tahsi. He started running around in circles and jumping in the air with joy.
Isabelle rolled her eyes and looked over to the burlap sack holding Stelas’ head. She felt excited. It was finally time to craft herself some new armor out of all that dragon stuff. Hell, maybe some new weapons, too.