Isabelle stood and watched the system notifications come in from the Overlord’s sending stone.
[Notice: You’re receiving a call on ‘Overlord’s Sending Stone’ from ‘The Overlord.’ Answer the call?]
[Y/N]
Was he just going to keep calling?
[Call from ‘The Overlord’ missed]
Isabelle sighed in relief. As long as she ignored him, it seemed there wasn’t much the Overlord could do.
[Notice: You have 1 message on ‘Overlord’s Sending Stone’ from ‘The Overlord.’]
Isabelle rolled her eyes. He’d left her a message? Really?
“Isabelle?” said Sir Jingles. He was still dangling from a long chain hung over the top of the bubbling cauldron in the center of the palace dungeon. “Are you going to just stand there, or are you going to save my life?”
“Oh, give it a rest, Jingles,” said Isabelle. “I just got a call from the Overlord!”
“A call?” asked Sir Jingles. “And how is the Overlord calling you, exactly?”
“From a sending stone I looted off one of his cronies,” said Isabelle. “Oh. That makes sense,” said Sir Jingles.
“He even left me a message,” said Isabelle.
“Oh my gods,” said Sir Jingles. “You should listen to it.” “Didn’t you want me to set you free, Jingles?” asked Isabelle.
“Oh, that can wait, that can wait. It’s not like anybody can lower me into the cauldron right now. Go ahead, listen to his message,” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle couldn’t say no to that glowing endorsement. Isabelle thought ‘Play Message from Overlord’s Sending Stone.’
[Loading message]
[...]
[...]
[Message loaded]
[Playing message from ‘The Overlord’ from ‘Overlord’s Sending Stone’]
“Zsutzi, what the fuck is wrong with you?” said the Overlord’s voice. “Ooh,” said Sir Jingles. “He sounds angry.”
“Do you know who I am? Do you know how important my time is?” asked the Overlord’s voice.
“No, ‘Overlord,’ I have no idea who you are,” said Isabelle sarcastically.
“Who the fuck do you think you are, fucking denying a sending stone call from the Overlord? You know what me being the Overlord means, don’t you? It means I fucking lord over you, that’s what! Next time you better answer or it’ll be your head on a fucking pike! I’d say bubbling in the cauldron, but I don’t think you’ve got any powers or abilities that are special enough for me to waste time and energy it takes to dissolve you into myself!”
[End of message]
Isabelle and Sir Jingles burst into raucuous laughter. “What a crazy jerk!” said Isabelle.
“Yea, really,” said Sir Jingles. “The Overlord must really have his codpiece off-centered.”
“He wears a codpiece?” Isabelle asked with a snort.
“Yes. It’s... something else. But please, Isabelle, let’s remember that I’m dangerously close from being absorbed into one of the Overlord’s cauldrons,” said Sir Jingles. “So would you please think of a way to get me down?”
“Oh, you’ll be going down, all right!” said the prince of Sharithlond. “Down into the cauldron, that is!”
Isabelle turned around and sighed at the sight of the prince of Sharithlond. He was charging towards her with his poisoned scimitar. Was she really going to have to keep paralyzing him?
[Combat mode deactivated]
[Speechcraft attempt: intimidate]
“Look, prince—” said Isabelle, “—You’re clearly no match for me, so how about we strike up a deal or something before I freeze you and chop your head off like I did to Stelas?”
[Speechcraft had mixed results]
Mixed results, huh? Isabelle did notice that she was finally out of combat mode, though, and that was mighty nice.
The prince stopped his advance. “You wouldn’t really do that,” he said.
“Oh, as terrible as it sounds, my companion, know that she would in an instant,” said Stelas. “Of course, it is only a matter of time until the Overlord catches her, so really it’s nothing to be concerned of. Especially knowing that I will easily take her out as soon as my head gets reattached to its body. Oh, yes, just you wait, all of you. I will enact my dreadful revenge! How glorious it will be. Yes, how glorious.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. She had a feeling that Stelas had gotten the ‘Ego Blindness’ debuff a long time ago and seemingly never been humbled enough to lose it. Isabelle was thankful that she hadn’t fared the same fate. Still, she couldn’t lose focus, or Isabelle would surely find herself ‘fighting’ this idiot prince once again.
[Speechcraft attempt: intimidate]
“Look, if you didn’t have access to the Overlord’s party, I’d probably one hit kill you,” said Isabelle.
[Speechcraft succeeded]
“Fuck’s sake, fine,” the prince dropped the scimitar. Yes, Isabelle noticed he dropped it, not unequipped.
“Interesting,” said Isabelle. “Hey, um, Stelas. How did the prince get that scimitar out of your inventory, again?”
“Oh, I gave it to him,” said Stelas. “The prince said that it was more convenient for him if I gave him the scimitar than if he looted me.
Which, I’ve got to say, rubbed me the right way. Looting my head the way you do, Isabelle, is always so terribly insulting.”
[Speechcraft attempt: interrogate+intimidate]
Isabelle nodded slowly, inwardly thrilled that she’d managed to speechcraft attempt two things at once. “So, prince, since you’re in the Overlord’s party, I could just... cut your hand off, and it would still be able to move around, wouldn’t it?”
[Speechcraft had mixed results]
[Speechcraft increased to level 8]
“Yes, definitely,” said the prince, though he seemed to be shaking.
[Speechcraft attempt: interrogate+intimidate]
“So what if I just equipped a dagger and lopped off one of your fingers? I mean, that would be no big deal, would it?” asked Isabelle.
[Speechcraft succeeded]
“Fine! Fine! Gods damn it, I admit it, I admit it, I’m not a member of the Overlord’s party!” said the prince. He fell to his knees. He was quivering. “Please, please don’t kill me.”
“Wait, are you shitting me?” said Stelas. “You aren’t in the party?”
“No, I’m not in the Overlord’s party, you fucking dumbass,” said the prince with a wimper.
“You asshole!” said Stelas. “Give me my scimitar back, you charlatan, you!”
“Actually, I’ll be taking the scimitar,” said Isabelle. “Since, you know, I can actually use it.” Isabelle focused on the scimitar.
[Add ‘Scimitar (poisoned)’ to inventory?]
Isabelle thought yes.
“Aww,” said Stelas. He almost sounded like a pouting dog. It made Isabelle chuckle under her breath.
“Now, here’s a real fucking question,” said Isabelle. She looked back to the prince. “Are you even a fucking prince?”
The prince looked up at her. His eyes were large, and pale gray. They felt almost haunting.
“Are you trying to fucking seduce me or something?” asked Isabelle.
“Sorry,” said the prince. “No, I’m not a prince.”
“Well, then what in the hell are you?” asked Isabelle.
“Some would call me a trickster. A con man, if you will. I deal in deception, primarily,” said the prince.
“Hmmm,” said Isabelle.
“Hey, Isabelle, I’m getting lightheaded over here,” said Sir Jingles. “Remember how I’m dangling over the cauldron and everything? Pretty messy, huh? Don’t you want to save me? I’m a pretty good con artist myself, you know.”
“Jingles, you’re more of a thief than a con artist,” said Isabelle. “You char and int are way, way too low for you to be an effective con. But this prince guy, whoever the hell he is, had all of us fooled.” Isabelle turned to look back at the pitiful prince. “Of course, he doesn’t seem to be much of a fighter.”
“I can fight!” said the prince, standing on his feet. “Hell, I’ll fight you if you want!”
“That’s cute,” said Isabelle. “Look, I can wallop your head off here and now if I want to,” said Isabelle. “But, you don’t want that, do you?”
“Hell no I don’t!” said the false prince.
“Well, alright then,” said Isabelle. “I’m going to go save my party member now. Until then, well, hang tight.”
“Hang tight?” asked the false prince.
Isabelle opened her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 178.5/227
Item
Traits
Staff of Paralyzation
+5 mana, +4 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
[Staff of Paralyzation equipped]
[+5 mana]
Isabelle raised her staff. Before the flase prince could say a word, she thought, ‘Cast Paralyze.’
[Mana 98%]
Green light shot from the staff and once again coiled around the prince. He fell to the floor like a limp sack of potatoes.
“Sorry, but I just can’t trust you right now,” said Isabelle. “Maybe I’ll consider adding you to my party after I’ve set Jingles free.”
“Thank the gods,” said Sir Jingles. “I am really, really sick of hanging around over this boiling cauldron of doom.”
Isabelle focused on the dungeon wall that lead up to the ledge where the steel wheel that controlled the chain that held Sir Jingles over the cauldron was. Could she see a path up there? There didn’t seem to be anything concrete.
[Notice: use stm for extra focus?]
[Y/N]
So Isabelle could do that even outside of combat mode? Cool. She thought yes.
[Stamina 90%]
Isabelle felt time slow down, and when she looked at the wall this time it was like she was seeing it in an extra dimension. Each ridge of each individual stone looked less like a useless blemish and more and more like an opportunity. Isabelle dashed up to the wall and climbed up the wall in a rush. It felt almost effortless, like the route up the wall was guiding her toward the ledge. Before she knew it, Isabelle had reached the top of the ledge.
[Stamina 76%]
Isabelle took a deep breath as time sped back up. Running up that wall in such a way had brought on all the sore memories of dating someone into rock climbing back in her past life. Isabelle could still here him shouting ‘belay on!’ with far too much enthusiasm, and droning on and on about ‘solving problems’ and going on long monologues about how bouldering was inferior and climbing gyms were too expensive and how Isabelle herself took far too long to climb up anything and why wasn’t she understanding how to climb up the wall?
Isabelle shook herself. Sometimes it shocked her how much she didn’t miss her old, ordinary life, but this was not one of those moments. Still, she had better things to set her mind on. Isabelle looked around the ledge. She could see the dead body of the warforged, and she could see the steel wheel that controlled the chain holding Sir Jingles, still frozen in a thick block of ice. Isabelle focused on the warforged’s body.
[Loot ‘Warforged’?]
Isabelle thought yes.
Inventory: Warforged
Item
Traits
Warforged Gears x4
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
+4 carry weight
Vial of Cauldron Goo
n/a
Palace Dungeon Door Key
n/a
Now that was interesting inventory. Isabelle would really have to sit down and go through all her new inventory items one of these days
Inventory: Warforged
Item
Traits
n/a
n/a
But for now, Isabelle figured she ought to melt the ice and mess with the chain to free Sir Jingles. Then again, she really wanted to know what was up with that vial of cauldron goo. Was that a crime? Was curiosity a crime? Isabelle didn’t think so. She opened her inventory
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 182.5/227
Item
Traits
Warforged Gears x4
+4 carry weight
Vial of Cauldron Goo
n/a
Palace Dungeon Door Key
n/a
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Isabelle focused on the vial of cauldron goo and thought ‘Learn More.’
Item: Vial of Cauldron Goo
Traits: n/a
Description: This wicked goo can unleash the power of the Overlord on whoever is unlucky enough to have it thrown upon them. What power of the Overlord? The power of the Overlord to absorb people’s powers, of course. Throw this goo on somebody, and they’ll immediately dissolve into a pile of goo, and all of their powers will go to the Overlord.
That made enough sense, though Isabelle was disappointed that essentially she’d gotten an item that benefited the Overlord and not herself.
Now, Isabelle could focus on melting that steel wheel and saving Sir Jingles. Then again, she could also look at some other cool things in her inventory.
Inventory: Isabelle
Carrying capacity: 182.5/227
Item
Traits
Stealth Drainer (enchanted)
+5 stealth, +10 damage, +1 carry weight
Ropes of Binding (enchanted)
+1 carry weight
Abbreviated list based on prior use. Focus to see more items…
Isabelle focused on the stealth drainer and thought ‘Learn More.’
Item: Stealth Drainer (enchanted)
Traits: +5 stealth, +10 damage, +1 carry weight
Description: This tiny little dagger is incredibly special in a number of ways. If it lands a critical hit while also performing a sneak attack, it will drain anyone’s hp to one point. If the stealth drainer is then used to successfully kill the target, all of the drained hp it takes from the enemy being attack will be permanently added to the wielder’s hp. On success, the stealth drainer will then collapse in on itself, unable to be used again. Alternatively, it can be used it combat as a normal weapon, though its range is severely limited.
That was interesting. Isabelle was quite glad she’d added that to her inventory. She focused on the ropes of binding next.
Item: Ropes of Binding (enchanted)
Traits: n/a
Description: These ropes of binding will keep even the most unruly foe from escaping your grasp. Their enchantment forces anyone wearing them to stay close to you, and weakens their str and const.
Huh. That seemed useful. In fact, Isabelle had an idea of what to do with that troublesome false prince once she got off this ledge.
Now it was finally time to save Sir Jingles. Isabelle raised her right hand and thought, ‘Cast Draw Flame.’
[Mana 98%]
Isabelle’s hand ignited like a torch. She held it over the icy steel wheel and watched as the ice melted.
[Mana 96%]
“Oh, thank the gods,” said Sir Jingles. “I was wondering if you’d ever get me out of this mess.”
[Mana 94%]
Isabelle rolled her eyes as she melted the last bit of ice off the wheel.
[Mana 92%]
Isabelle shook the flame off her hand and gripped the wheel. She started turning it clockwise. Sir Jingles screamed.
“Other way! Other way!” he said, bristling as a cauldron bubbled closer and closer to his skin. “Turn it the other way, Isabelle!”
Isabelle turned the wheel counterclokwise. The chains rattled and creaked and slowly lifted Sir Jingles higher and higher away from the cauldron.
“Thank you, Isabelle,” said Sir Jingles. “Now, go grab that lever over there.”
“Lever?” Isabelle asked. She looked around and saw a jet black lever near the steel wheel. It almost looked like an oversized joystick. “This lever?”
“No, the other lever,” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle looked for a second, then she realized that there was no other lever. She turned the wheel clockwise again as payback.
“Isabelle! Isabelle it was only a joke! Stop it! Don’t do this!” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle let go of the wheel and laughed. Then, she grabbed the lever and moved it around. She noticed that as she moved it whatever system of gears and pulleys hoisting the chain up would move the chain around the dungeon room, kind of like a crane.
“Please finish this up, Isabelle, I’m getting nauseated,” said Sir Jingles with a whine.
Isabelle rolled her eyes and yanked the lever to the left, watching the air as Sir Jingles drifted to the left. Then, she turned the wheel clockwise, lowering him down to the floor of the dungeon unscathed.
“Great. Thank you. Now get down here and pleasem, for the love of the gods, get me out of these chains! The chaffing is unbearable,” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle thought to herself that Sir Jingles was really useless.
[Error: No command ‘Sir Jingles is really useless’ found]
Isabelle rolled her eyes. Then, she focused on the stone wall, prepared to use stamina to dash back down it. Only, when she focused on the wall, she saw a door.
“There’s a door here?” asked Isabelle.
“Duh!” said Sir Jingles. “Hell, there’s a door down here, too. Presumably it leads to some stairs, which leads up to that ledge you’re on. What, did you think somebody just set a warforged up there with no way to get down?”
Isabelle had to admit, the logic was there. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked Sir Jingles.
“I thought you knew! I figured you just did that whole run up the wall bit because it was easier,” said Sir Jingles.
Isabelle sighed and walked up to the door.
[Palace Dungeon Door - Locked]
Isabelle thought ‘Unlock.’
[Palace Dungeon Door - Unlocked]
Isabelle opened the door and walked down the staircase. When she walked out into the dungeon, she noticed immediately that someone was missing.
“Where’d that damn fake prince go?” asked Isabelle.
“Oh, he ran away,” said Stelas’ head, which was no longer in a burlap sack and instead was laying sideways by a large rock. “Once his paralyzation wore off he got right the hell out of here. He told me that if I agreed to keep giving him stuff out of my inventory, he’d take me with him and go find my body, but I knew better than to trust that charlatan. Yes, he’s always up to no good, that prince. I bit his hand when he picked me up. Of course, he’s got my armor now, the bastard. I really wish you would’ve looted him when you had the chance, Isabelle. I may detest and hate you endlessly, and of course I’m always plotting for the day that I will bring you to your knees and destroy you, but that guy was really the worst.”
Isabelle wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about Stelas saying all this stuff, but she figured it was better that she hadn’t lost all the loot stashed in his inventory than not. As Isabelle searched the ground for Stelas’ burlap sack, the sound of footsteps echoed through the room.
“Isabelle! Sir Jingles! Stelas’ severed head!” said Tahsi as he ran into the room. His scaly face looked flushed, and he was shoveling bread into his mouth with his left hand. In his right arm, he held a large, blue egg. “You guys have got to help me! I’m worried about Frimri!”
“Frimri?” asked Isabelle. “Who’s that?”
“My girlfriend, duh,” said Tahsi. “You know, that cute little frost dragon we were fighting earlier?”
“Your girlfriend?!” said Isabelle, Sir Jingles, and Stelas’ severed head in unison. Isabelle mouthed the words ‘cute’ and ‘little’ in disbelief.
“Uh, yea,” said Tahsi. “Or, um, at least my girlfriend with benefits, or whatever that’s called.” He looked at the egg in his arm. “Also possibly the mother of my child? I don’t know, I’m a little fuzzy on the specifics of that one. The important thing is that Frimri is the dragon and she’s in danger. Oh, and I think the Overlord might be in town.”
“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” asked Isabelle.
“The Overlord’s in Cloud Reach. Word on the street is he wants to slay a dragon. You know, a dragon like Frimri,” said Tahsi. “By the way, don’t let her catch you wearing that dragon armor again, Isabelle. She finds it really offensive.”
Isabelle rolled her eyes. Then, she remembered something. “You know, Tahsi, it sucks that the Overlord’s here.”
“Yea, I know that,” said Tahsi.
“But, speaking of the Overlord, I’ve got something really funny I want to show you,” said Isabelle. She equipped the sending stone and thought ‘Play Message from Overlord’s Sending Stone.’