The others sleep and I watch the large ones.

The large one's maintaining their hive-home come less and less frequently. Editing their roles for new paths, actions that are performed as the role. And...

Imperfect, I need one to contact me, to repair, to correct. To properly work according to the designs.

But it survives, it provides. it is enough for them and their structures shall not fail.

I wonder if we have been simply remaking old designs, paths having fallen out of use and being built over. The memories used to hold a complete design being lost and replaced with time.

I shall remember this when Crui wakes, we need something that can be followed without being known.

We do not understand them enough for this.

And none of them come to us for these details anymore.

I wish I could go help more, make more. Do more. Hold one of their roles for a while to understand as they do. To grow as Hlei and Frei have, just a little larger, more resilient..

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Is there growth a result of an excess of food? Do they use more tendrils? There is an amount of waste, of danger. Of all Hlei had seen, most of what I was able to feel from her was loss.

We should not stay here too long, Frei has lost himself among others, and we can either stay as others or become as they are.

I do not want to grow if it requires loss, if the danamge sustained and regained through stupor. It might be a result of their healers, a way of compensating.

I do not know. Frei is little help, I do not let him leave his pod, but I still communicate with him.

I need to keep that limited.

They are like us. But if we cannot fix Frei, who has lived among us, how would we fix them living among them.

Zur saw us doing so much memory Zur dedicated some of her memory to it.

And those memories keep Zur as her...

Frei's understanding frightenss me. But I understand Frei well enough. He shall not affect me.

I decieve myself. He already has. But he was not the first. Unlike the others I do not know who I am, but I know who I am not. But I still am me. And there are parts of that I shall not change.

I hope I understand myself well enough to shape my future change. I hope I understand how my memories create me.

I watch The large one's maintaining their hive, their home.

I miss the hive I lived in, I miss the inspired ones, the new roles. The wealth of memory to store and create.

I am the only one awake, I must watch, I must protect. I need to sustain my awareness. I slow my thoughts, I see my emotions.

I Watch and Protect. It is my role until I return to my true-pod.