Chapter 82

You know for a burnt clearing, I would expect there to be no FUCKING GRASS. But there fucking is.

I suppose I just lucked out in finding a place with no grass roots where I grew my proto lichen mushrooms but come the fuck on. You’d think that, here where a fire has recently passed through, I would find some solace in growing in peace.

I always have to crawl through their fucking roots, and they always get in my way wherever I expand into except i guess the one place I grew my proto lichen mushrooms. That actually gave me hope the fire actually did burn their grassy little fucking roots.

It’s always a damn pain to grow my mycelium above ground and it’s always because of the god fucking grass. And I know I’ve said it multiple times before. But it bears repeating.

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It would have felt real refreshing not having to compete for space.

… wait I’m trying to do a good thing here why am I getting mad …?

Hmm you know I’m not a therapist but I was actually listening to mine when I was in my sessions with her. She would say something like… I might be displacing my emotions in this case anger and redirecting it onto something else.

That something being my grassy fucking nemesis.

Ha, still doing it. Uhh let’s see if that’s true and I’m displacing my anger, why would I be angry in the first place. Mmmm, why would I be angr… Oh wasn’t I peeved when I found the nutrients in the hub… but why would I be… ?

Ah, i see I’m pissed at myself.

if I had checked in on the local underground ecosystem and found the nutrients I could have saved some of the above ground ecosystem. Making this whole process easier. And I’m taking out my anger on a defenseless organism that has done nothing but survive.

… survive and made my self given mission to revive the clearing a living hell.

Stupid grass.

WHAT?! I’m not a saint.

I understand why I’m angry now but just cuz I know what my therapist would say doesn’t mean I still can’t be mad.

Taking it out on my nemesis is cathartic. No judgement.