Chapter 13

Ive decided.

The fact that I’m seeming to grow more intellectual the more I grow more of myself is neither good nor bad. Its what I do from here on out that really counts.

Knowledge is just a tool, its how its used that really matters. With that really morose thinking outa the way I focused on my bde project.

What?

Just because I’m smarter and more motivated doesn’t mean I don’t have a sense of humor!

Though not to go back to the maudlin topic, I was reading this fantastic novel by James Blake that dealt with a similar topic on this. Its not an exact one to one comparison, but in it the main character gains supernatural intelligence but loses something much more vital: his compassion.

EHHHH.

That sounds cheesy as hell, but what can I say? I like cheese. Besides I ain’t in the same situation I have both. I just have to make sure I remember where my lines are.

Like if its morally acceptable to kill this damn predator!

Twice now I’ve tried to grow my huge mushroom, in two very far and distant locations. I even grew a damn sensory network around the second one. Each damn time it was eaten before it could grow completely. Barely bigger than my regular mushrooms and wham! The predator swoops in and eats it! Well not swoop, more like swaggers. I can just tell its mocking me.

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The arrogant bastard. Ooooo the vendetta so starts now. Your whole species will rue the day it marked me as a food source! Woah, woah moral line. Moral line!

Thankfully building that sensory network around the second one really helped me to determine if it was that flying pest who stole my mushroom or a walking one. Not to mention the bite marks. They almost feel like the same creature who ate my mushroom the first time. The death of my sensory mycelium even somewhat matches what I felt in my original sensory network.

Oddly enough the one mushroom I grew along the bde pathway, to get the ratio, is still there.

Hmph! Imma make some spawn and cut off my nutrients to it and use it to grow more of myself there before an arrogant predator consumes it.

FUCK you predator.

Now morally speaking is it okay to premeditate someone’s death? Wiping out a species is so not cool, so that one is out. But on one hand yes these assholes are a threat to me and are causing me bodily harm but on the other hand I’m just doing this for shits and giggles, these assholes are presumably just trying to survive.

But is that enough to sway me off killing a predator?

Hmm.

Could I train one instead?

It’s clearly attracted to my mushrooms. I am in fact tasty to these things. the thing is I already dismissed this possibility before and all the reasons I didn’t train it then, still apply now. I don’t have the right environment to train it to do what I want, some other predator could come and snatch a mushroom before my main target even gets there.

The feet impression from the first predator who ate me and this one do match but the stride is off and they’re of a different size. So I can’t even target the same one over and over.

Mass train the whole species? I don’t think so. Thats too much work and I don’t have the patience.

Wow I guess I really am still human if it seems death is the only way.

Am I just trying to convince myself that this is the way to go?

I’m so spiraling right now but I do know that if I was still human, someone coming by and trying to take a bite outa me in a non sexual context and most importantly without consent would most positively get a violent response from me.

Hmmmm.

Man fuck moral quandaries!