Kazuya hugged Lilica tightly as his face started becoming gloomier and gloomier from self-blame. He was angry at his past self but what was done was done. It could never be changed. He felt like what he said to her sounded like an excuse, even though that was what he really thought. However, as a man, he didn't want his woman to see his vulnerable side, so he purposely hid his face. He felt so helpless that his eyes started becoming red and watery. He didn't know what he could possibly do to make her insecurities go away. He was helpless against her crying face. His heart felt like it was torn when he saw her tears flow down her delicate face.
Lilica hugged him back and buried her face in his chest. Seeing how he didn't even continue his speech, Lilica thought to herself; he must be starting to hate me. No man would ever want a woman with such extreme mood swings like me. I wonder if I didn't start thinking about that night then we wouldn't be in this heavy atmosphere right now. We would probably be making love happily right now. Lilica smiled to herself in self-ridicule. She knew that they had to get over this point or they would forever be an invisible wall between them, but she didn't want to make him feel bad about it either.
Lilica decided to end this tiring conversation. She didn't want to drag it on anymore. She was too tired to think already. It was fine even if Kazuya didn't think of her during their first night now. She was going to not care about it anymore. That way, they could spend time happily together again.
Lilica pushed away from his embrace gently and looked at his face and was about to say something but saw his slightly red eyes and words couldn't come out of her mouth. She had never seen this expression on his handsome face before. He looked so helpless and gloomy. His eyes were full of sadness and regret. Lilica was stunned, and at the same time, regretful. She didn't want to see such an expression on his face. She didn't want him to make this expression, but she also didn't know how she wanted him to react. His expression broke her heart and she started crying again.
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"Sob…" Lilica cried softly.
"…Don't cry… You'll make me want to cry too…" Kazuya said in his low hoarse voice. It was obvious he was holding back his tears.
"Baby… What do you want me to do so you will really believe and trust me? …How can I make you feel secure and assured of my love for you?" Kazuya's tears started forming at the corner of his beautiful eyes.
"Don't make that kind of expression… I didn't want you to feel burdened like this… I'm sorry…sob…" Lilica said as she continued crying.
"No… I'm the one who should be sorry…It was all my fault that night… I shouldn't have done what I did… I'm so sorry… And now I can't even make your worries go away… I don't deserve your love and trust…" As Kazuya finished his sentence, he let go of her and stood up to exit the room.
Seeing his back going far and far away from her, Lilica panicked. She hurriedly stood up and ran after him. As Kazuya was walking, Lilica caught up with him soon. She grabbed his shirt with her delicate fingers and said softly between her tears, "Don't go…"
Kazuya stopped in his tracks but didn't dare look at her tear-stained face. He had resolved himself to never see Lilica after this when he decided to walk away. He didn't want to break his resolve, so he just faced his back to her.
"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'll never talk about this anymore…so…so don't go…sob…" Lilica cried even harder than before at the thought of him leaving her. She couldn't bear to separate with him. She didn't intend to bring this up just so he would get tired of her and walk away. However, no matter what, she still couldn't shake the idea away as it was a thorn in her heart.
"I…I know that you told me you love me and all but… but I still feel like even if we hadn't met… sob… you would still be able to find someone else to heal your heart… It may have been fine no matter who it was for you but for me… sob…" Lilica tears flowed endlessly as she forced the words out f her mouth. However, she couldn't bear to finish her sentence as she cried even harder, making her feel suffocated.
"Hah… Whoever is fine you said? Do you even know what you're talking about?" Kazuya said coldly, without the fainted emotion in his voice.
Lilica was stunned by his cold tone. He had never been talked to her in this tone before.
'So this was the Valen Corporation's CEO infamous cold attitude… Alas, he's using this tone with me so he already considers me as a stranger, right?' Lilica thought to herself uncontrollably.