"I had a dream that had always been playing in my nightmares. About sixteen years ago when I decided to leave. I recalled Mrs. Tang send me a message on the night I left. I broke up with James and I went looking for Qiu Wen. I wanted to convince Qiu Wen to leave with me but Mrs. Tang's message on Qiu Wen's engagement to Francesca stopped me. Instead, I end up here…" Xue Ting's tears welled as they dripped to her palm. She carefully omitted the part about Qiu Wen and her love-making session that night to not confirm May's affirmation of who the twins' father was.

"You're saying it was Mrs. Tang all along who had been twisting your fate?" May asked shockingly as Xue Ting nodded calmly.

"To come and think of it, Mrs. Tang introduced James to me a week before school started and when I went to school, in fact, James and I already knew each other when Qiu Wen introduced us. Do you think she might know that I had a crushed on Qiu Wen and she was objecting it?" Xue Ting asked while wiping her tears away.

"Ting…" May felt really bad for her best friend as she hugged her.

"May, promise me to keep this a secret from the twins and Qiu Wen. I don't want this matter to wreck their already bad relationship. But instead in a few months' time, I will leave with the twins according to the contract."

"Ting Ting, Qiu Wen has always been the one you liked first. From the look of things, are you sure you can pull off right on time again?" May asked worriedly as she let her go and observed her.

I can't but I must. Xue Ting was telling herself.

"I need to. I must. For the sake of my twins." May felt hopeless and frustrated at her answer. She always hoped for the best for her who has always had a hard time from the first time she met her.

"And I know about Qiu Yeh and his arrangements..." Xue Ting said as May looked away guiltily.

"I can explain…" May quickly said as Xue Ting smiled and hugged her.

"Thank you. Qiu Yeh had explained it was a coincidence that you needed someone to produce paintings for your gallery and I was in need of the money." Xue Ting let go of May and took a good look at her best friend.

"I am so lucky to have met you, May." Xue Ting said as May beamed hugging her. May blinked back her tears while staring into the pitch-black dark sky knowing that it wouldn't end well again for Xue Ting.

All she could hope is that Xue Ting would find the happiness she always wanted and live freely with the ones she loved someday.

That night, Qiu Wen sat in bed with the box of letters, excited to read them when he heard Xue Ting's room door open. He wanted to check on her only to find her room's door closed hastily.

Instead, he sat back in bed and opened his first letter.

"Dear James,

You know little Xin Xin had been bugging me about where babies came from. He is only nine. How did he grow up so fast? I am dreading the birds and bees conversation here. How I wished you were around. I am wondering where he even knew about this topic, to begin with. Your son is a thorn among the roses in his school and his teacher just told me today that he loved the guitar very much.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

This instantly reminded me of you. He probably took over this from you.

How's life? Hope you had been doing well... perhaps with your own family too...

Don't worry about Joy. She is absolutely brilliant with her art! I wonder did she took after me for this to be fair.

Oh no! They are arguing again. Got to go!

Love;

Ting Ting."

Qiu Wen chuckled at the first random letter he picked. He noticed the little stickers she placed on the envelope. They must be used as pointers when the twins were young. He beamed noticing the resemblance of loving guitar in Matthew between James and himself.

He picked another in a yellow envelope.

"James,

It's just so hard to bring them up alone. Sigh, I am getting tired of trying to make a living alone. It's heartbreaking to see our babies fall sick and not just one of them. Being twins, they tend to do many things in sync. I know it's nothing to worry about. At nine to ten months old, they are going to start teething. So it's normal for them to fall sick.

Thank goodness I had a good employer helping me to survive in the diner but I am wondering if they will pay me even enough for their education in the future.

When will I ever have the guts to tell you? I wonder do you even make the effort to find me?

I'm sorry I still haven't been brave to find you. But it's getting harder to juggle. What should I do, love? I miss you but I still hate you for what you did.

If you ever read this, perhaps you would hate me even more. But will you still love me like I do now?

Xue Ting."

Qiu Wen empathised with her agony as he began to understand her setbacks. He tapped the love sticker back properly onto the envelope and put it into the box as he took a blue letter with a picture of the twins at toddler age. He began to notice she liked addressing James rather than his Chinese name.

"Dear James,

It's been a while since I had time to write to you. The twins are growing fast. Here take a look at them. It was their fourth birthday. We celebrated with May.

You know in the letters before this in any case you skipped them, May had been by our side every time but I decided to move out from her tiny place when the twins were eight months old because I felt I would have burdened her from finding someone she loved.

Turn out I guess I was right. I'm just happy that she is dating now and going steady. His name is Charlie and the twins were really fond of him.

Someday. Just someday I hope you get to meet Qiu Qiu and Xin Xin.

Love you;

Ting Ting"

It was exactly what Xue Ting told him. He was learning about their past and many of hers and the twins' missing years were filled in with details. He noticed the nicknames and couldn't help but notice again that Xue Ting named Matthew's nickname after James and Joy's nickname seemed to resemble his. However, it wasn't written in Chinese characters and he remembered Joy told him hers was a different meaning although it sounded the same syllable when read as his own Chinese name.

There were many more letters that he decided to read the last piece sitting at the end of the box. It was white with a small fabric-like scarf from Joy's art and Matthew's guitar peak attached to it.

"Dear James,

I finally decided today. Perhaps I long for you too much all this while and now after twelve years, it just seems absurd to even tell you anymore. Perhaps, it's better that they stay unknown to you.

In return, this would be the last letter I will ever write to you. Here's a little gift from Joy. However, I should maybe come clean with you about something, something which I guess you will never find out.

I told myself not to let any emotions be involved. I know it. I know it very well. Too well for me to indulge even deeper in such a complicated relationship. Was I that desperate? Was I really into it? What if ...

What if I fall for him? No, I think I already fell for him long ago before I met you. What am I to do with you? This was a bad idea. Yes it was, I tried to convince myself but my heart was melting away at the thought of him.

"It's just a one-night stand." I tried coaxing my heart but it didn't stop from melting away. I wished Mrs. Tang never introduced you to me first a week before school and disturb your destiny because I had a crush on Qiu Wen ever since we were kids and I even saved him from kidnappers but I never told him about the crush part.

However, that didn't mean I never loved you. Instead, I cherished every moment we shared and thanked you for the sweetest memories of my teenage life.

I asked myself a million times, James; Why did Qiu Wen ever, just ever not confess before you? I could still hear Qiu Wen telling me before he kissed me,

"Ting Ting, you look pretty tonight."

I questioned myself often if it was love or really just a crush.

When I learned that Qiu Wen was betrothed to Francesca Wei, I knew karma was getting on me since we just broke up that time and I ran away leaving both of you because I cannot let your friendship get hurt nor destroy his family.

Karma hit me hard not long after when I found out I was pregnant with the twins when I ran away to this little town and found May. I guess those were the decisions I made and I live with it now.

I'm sorry. But I really hope you never find out bout this.

Till then;

Ting Ting.

Qiu Wen was struck by the lightning of disbelief as he tried recalling the twins' age and birthdays again.

He remembered their last night together before she said her goodbyes hastily. So, it was his mother all along who had been disrupting their fate. He let disappointment hovered him as he was reminded of his struggles with his anxiety that night right after Xue Ting left.