It's been a week since Xue Ting went to visit James with her twins and since she realised, her misunderstanding of James easily gave up on her. Qiu Wen had been helping her run errands and the twins would occasionally help out in the restaurant while she rested at home.

She was recovering slower from her fever spell this time. Most days, Qiu Wen would find her in bed when he brought her meals else she would be sitting by the window in her room. Sometimes either one of the twins would bring her meals when Qiu Wen was too busy.

Xue Ting had been taking the time to ponder the past and the future. She was still digesting the whole event slowly as she regretted every now and then. She was on the fence simply because she was terrified of Mrs. Tang and there wasn't anything she could do for now except to play along with what had been set out in the contract. With all she could, she must ensure she never falls in love with Qiu Wen else her twins will be in grave danger but she knew it was too late. Too long gone as her heart had always been with Qiu Wen even if she wanted to deny it.

"Should I really let go and be with Qiu Wen? He is right in front of me but yet I had to put so much constraint to not be affectionate with him unnecessarily. How am I to withstand all this any longer? At this rate, how am I to leave him when the contract ends? I still need to protect my twins…" She thought to herself one rainy afternoon.

Her heart ached slightly recalling the lost years and twisted fate but she was exhausted from crying that tears no longer could form when fear concurred her. She only wished to dote on her twins till the end and it was all that mattered.

She finally had the will to head downstairs to the balcony with a box of letters that crossed her mind. She had kept away secretly from the twins all this while as it was when times like this hit her while they grew up that she poured them all out into those letters.

She sat by the bench with her brewed mint tea as she read each and every letter recollecting the memories she wished to share with Qiu Wen, in disguise written to James, especially about how the twins were growing up.

That evening, Qiu Wen got home as usual with packed dinners from the restaurant. As he wanted to prepare them in the kitchen, he noticed the peculiar mint tea Xue Ting used to drink wafting around. He wandered around the house and realised she was at the balcony as he approached the sliding door.

The rain was splattering outside and he knew she was deep in her thoughts again holding on to a letter as the rain began to spill over occasionally. She wasn't barging an inched that he quickly carried her to another bench which was closer to the door.

It startled her for a moment. It broke his heart a little to watch her in that state. He was trying very hard to comfort her and get her to move on since he broke the news but she had not been progressing much. He regretted ever telling her at times.

"Hey." Qiu Wen gently greeted her as he put some loose hair behind her ear. He noticed the rain slowed down a little when she turned to look at him.

Her eyes couldn't help but twinkle as she gave a sad smile. "Come, join me." Xue Ting offered as she patted the seat next to her while he covered her with a blanket laid next to her first.

"Feeling better?" He asked concernedly as he busied himself trying to wrap her into the blanket.

She nodded as she took a sip of her tea when he sat.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

"Ryan." She called out as she placed her tea cup back into the saucer. He was taken aback as she always called him by his Chinese name but rarely his English name unless it was something serious.

"Was she going to leave? What's so serious that she had to call me by my English name?" The terror in his eyes was fast captured by Xue Ting who realised she absentmindedly called him Ryan.

"Thank you, Wen Wen." She said sincerely as he chuckled to cover up his tension. "It's nothing. As long as you got well, that's what matters."

She held his hand. "No." He looked up at her. "Thank you." She said again with pure sincerity as she held his gaze.

"I was lucky to have met you this time. Even if it was five years later not including another 11 years additional late, it was better to know about James now than later." She tightened her grip on his hand.

"There are too many regrets I had in the past and I learn that gratitude should be shown and shared always. I have... I would do my best to show you my gratitude in this matter. Words cannot express how thankful I am whether for telling me the truth and helping me out while I cope." She eyed him as he could feel her sincerity.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to recuperate and I didn't expect myself to fall sick either as I rarely do..." She continued as he gently patted her hand.

"Ting Ting... It's alright. Look, I understand we are in an awkward position but at least as a friend, I felt I should do this much for you and the twins. And, besides, it's my fiduciary duty as your so-call husband in other people's perspective." He chuckled as she smiled knowing that his last line had to remain a fact for another four months before she could leave him again.

"I'm fine now. Don't worry. I will get to work tomorrow." She said as she took another sip of her tea.

"So fast? Don't you want to rest more? Your body still looks weak." He said worriedly as he fidgetted with her blanket.

"It's time to move on further..." She twirled the lock on the box holding her letters.

"What's in there?" He asked curiously.

She smiled looking at him as she opened the box. "Letters." He raised his eyebrow, confused. "To who?"

"James." She gave a sad smile knowing she wanted to say to him.

"They were written while the twins were growing up. It captured memories of them on special events which I thought someday if I ever told James about them or if we ever got together again, he could catch up through here." She said as she tried to control her emotions.

He held her hand. "Hey, it's alright. I'm sure he would be very proud of how much you had achieved with the twins. You're a great mother you know that?" He complimented.

"You know what?" She packed the letter back into the box and place the lock back on.

"You should read them instead. After all, it's all about the twins' dirty little secrets and I guess it would help you to live better with them for the next few months." She passed the box to him as he took them.

"Ting Ting, are you sure?" He needed affirmation but he was reluctant as he knew how special the letters were.

"No harm. Just don't get too jealous after you read. I couldn't remember what I had written as it was too many. But just take your time. Perhaps we should give them to James when you're done too." She smiled watching him thinking through his thoughts and he understood she meant burning the letters when he was done with them.

"Ting Ting... I don't have to read them..." Qiu Wen tried to make her reconsider.

She stood. "Too late. You're the new owner for now. So, let's heat up dinner so that you can rest early and enjoy your bedtime stories by yours truly tonight." She patted his shoulder as she took her empty cup to the kitchen and prepared dinner leaving Qiu Wen feeling honored and grateful that Xue Ting had ever considered him to be a part of her past.

The next evening, May, after learning from the twins that Xue Ting had recovered and was back to work, called Xue Ting out for dinner.

Xue Ting looked up to the twinkling stars in the pitch-black sky as she secretly wondered which was James looking down upon her. It worried May about Xue Ting's condition. Now that she was looking at Xue Ting's tired frail look, May didn't know where to start as she quietly sat by her side and sipped her tea.

"May, James passed away five years ago…" Xue Ting said finally as May put down her cup of tea on the saucer.

"I know… The twins updated me about it. Are you alright?" May replied solemnly as she had begun to get used to receiving lots of surprises from Xue Ting lately.

"Ting Ting, I felt like I just got old by many years. How do you survive such surprises every now and then?" May spoke her thoughts out as Xue Ting sighed with a sad smile.

"How did he pass away?" May asked. "Qiu Wen said it was an accident. I couldn't even register much of it, so I didn't ask for details thereafter."

May sat closer to Xue Ting and gently rubbed her shoulders as she continued to explain to May. "We went to visit James' grave."

"Ting Ting… I'm sorry…" May felt terrible for her best friend who had endured so much ever since she left the two men whom they thought had destroyed Xue Ting's future. May always wonder did Xue Ting loved James before since she had a crush on Qiu Wen first.

"But did you ever truly love James?" Xue Ting nodded as she shut her eyes blinking away her tears.

"He wasn't bad you know. Being young and immature, as I look back, he was way more independent and he was right… Always right. All that nonsense of being afraid of him influencing my twins' temper and whatnot, was just an excuse. Though the feelings weren't as strong as they are for Qiu Wen, there were valuable moments with him no doubt. I did love him." Xue Ting explained as May gently patted Xue Ting's shoulders.