◆Ten◆

Ten strode over to Chiulu at their meeting point. Instead of giving a wave or a handshake as most of the others had done, the monster girl in her human form instead immediately got well within Chiulu’s personal space and gave her a sniff. “You smell like a dangerous human, Fiend Chiulu.”

“Eh, I do?!” the woman immediately began checking herself, finding that she smelled like her usual self, with her clothes properly laundered. Did that mean something was off about her usual odor?

“Yeah, you give off wild pheromones!” Ten answered with a smile. “Like something crazy and unpredictable is going to happen around you. A few of the others have it, like Fiend Kada a little bit. But you’re one of the strongest smells.”

“I guess that does seem fairly accurate,” The Bureaucrat was a bit disheartened but decided to move things along. “So why are we meeting at the zoo? Do you work here?”

“No, I just wanted to come see it!” the little monster’s excitement was genuine and pure. “They said that you would take me because everyone else is busy.”

“Oh, well uhh, yeah I don’t see why not,” Chiulu couldn’t think of a single reason to refuse. “I guess that explains the writing on your shirt then. ‘I’m a visitor, not an escaped monster.’ Do you often get people thinking you’re a wild monster?”

“Is that what it says?” Ten looked down at her own shirt. “I have a hard time reading human language still. But yeah, I guess. Some people look at me like I’m weird, but all they usually do is stare. Most are cowards and won’t come near or actually do anything. I have ways of handling them if they do.”

“I’m sure you do,” the woman nodded along. “Well, I guess we need to go get tickets then.” The pair joined the queue, and while they were waiting, Chiulu began her list of mandated registration questions.

“My name is Ten Tackles,” the creature answered the first one. “Kada said she named me that because she’d hug me ten times every time she sees me.”

“I see, that is a very cute name,” Chiulu jotted it down, not bothering to mention the obvious pun since it appeared that Ten herself was blissfully unaware, or still hadn’t made it to the point of human language that she even understood the concept of a bad pun. They didn’t make it through many more questions before they reached the front of the line—not helping that Ten’s attention span for such things was rather short, often staring at the other interesting humans or pictures of animals and monsters along the wall.

“One adult and one…” the man’s eyes at the counter wandered to Ten, unsure of what to make of them. “One child?”

“Yes, I am her child!” Ten raised her hand eagerly, stunning Chiulu with the bold declaration. The clerk also stared at the woman with consoling eyes, as if he was marveled and concerned that she’d given birth to the little monster. Once they had their tickets and were past the gate, the human-Squordfish mentioned, “They told me to always say I was someone’s child, since it means we have to use less human money. Which means more money for snacks, right?!”

“R-Right,” The Bureaucrat simply couldn’t go against the monster's enthusiasm. While the woman wasn’t exactly strapped for cash anymore, the trip was already an unexpected expense and sounded like it was only going to get more costly. But oh well, it would certainly be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

The fake-mother and her not-a-child began walking around the zoo, taking it slow, one exhibit at a time. For every monster or animal, Ten’s eyes always lit up just the same, excited by each one. It made sense, because as a water monster, she had never seen or heard of most of them—whether their base components or their mutated monster forms.

Ten asked Chiulu to read out each informational placard since the girl couldn’t make out all the writing, and she hung onto every word. It brought up a weird feeling in The Bureaucrat, seeing such an innocent creature and being able to impart wisdom. Perhaps part of her wanted to become either a teacher or a mother, and raise someone to the best of her ability. But the more she thought about it, the more disastrous it’d seem. Having a durable monster to care for felt more like her speed.

“Does it make you feel weird, seeing the monsters locked up?” Chiulu eventually asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. “Since you’re a monster that gets to roam around freely.”

“No, not really,” Ten didn’t seem bothered at all by the thought. “I understand that it takes a certain level of smartness to live amongst humans. And all of them go by feeling and instinct. I heard that before monsters, it was only regular animals in zoos, and that honestly seems weirder to me. But I guess monsters aren’t the only ones who can be bad.”

“They’re probably safer in here anyways. Because if they were out here, and they acted bad, I’d kill them and eat them.” At that thought, Ten began rattling the bars in front of her. “Curse these cages for keeping me away from tasty food!”

Chiulu took that as a clue to rush them along, and they stopped at a nearby concession stand before Ten’s hunger actually made her want to hunt something. The monster girl clearly had more of an interest in meat based munchies, but she was happy enough with regular snacks too.

“Ahh, that looks so fun!” Ten started to pout at the sea lion exhibit. They weren’t mixed with actual lions or anything else, just regular sea lions with a confusing name in the monster-riddled world. But the girl was impressed with the waterway and slides in their exhibit that led into a big pool. “I’m guessing the humans would get mad if I turned into my big form and splashed around a bit.”

“Yes, I imagine they would,” Chiulu reinforced. “And don’t you need Tize and Laurim to turn back into your human form? Or at least that’s what I was told. And you’d be stuck as a big monster until they could get here.”

“Not anymore,” Ten waved one of the tentacles forward that made up her ‘hair’, presenting the bracelet that was clamped where her flesh met the sword tip. “This one lets me change back and forth whenever I want. They say it has Fiend Tize’s and Fiend Laurim’s blood in the circu- circutetery- that word is hard- circuit city. But I can be big or small whenever I want now.”

“Oh, that’s rather convenient,” The Bureaucrat was impressed, and it definitely seemed like an improvement to the monster’s lifestyle. She had noticed the bracelets on Ten’s dangling tentacles but assumed they were fashion accessories. “Do the other bracelets do things too?”

“Yeah,” Ten’s eyes sparkled again, eager to participate in show-and-tell. Even though the girl was a monster of who-knows-how-old, she certainly acted like a child at times. It was hard to tell if that was based on her lack of a formal education, or her just being so unfamiliar with human society, or maybe she really was just young for her species.

“This one is a talky bracelet!” the monster girl held up the next one. “Because of my claws, I have a hard time using your human talky bricks. But this lets me think of whoever I want to talk to and it lets me talk to them!” She held the bracelet in front of her face and a small screen projected in front of her. There was a ringing phone icon for a moment and then Kada’s face popped up.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Hi, Fiend Kada!” Ten gleefully waved all of her tentacles at the screen as soon as the monster saw her friend.

“Oh hey, Ten, what’s going on?” The Mermaid waved back with just as much enthusiasm.

“I am at the zoo with Fiend Chiulu!” the monster girl began her tale. “We’ve seen so many monsters and animals! None of them are as cool as me, but they are still cool!”

“Aww, that’s awesome, I wish I could be there,” Kada sounded genuinely remorseful about her absence. “But I’m sure Chiulu is doing a good job watching you. Be sure to do what she says. If you’re good I’ll buy you some snacks.”

“Yay snacks!” It sounded like everything else went through the monster’s ears.

“Okay, I have to go, but be sure to tell me about everything you see later,” the woman bid farewell.

“Bye Fiend Kada!”

“Bye Ten, I’ll tackle you later.” The whirlwind of a call ended as quickly as it began making Chiulu wonder just how often Ten contacted people whenever she was bored or lonely. But it was still sweet to watch.

“Oh, this bracelet can also do many other talky brick things,” Ten shifted gears back to her presentation. “It has a map that shows me to wherever I want to go. That’s how I got here all by myself. It has my identa-vacation. And there’s human money in it! Oh yeah, I have human money. Sorry, I forgot! Next food is my treat!”

She then moved onto the third bracelet. “This one is a cooking bracelet! It cooks any meat from the monsters I kill and makes them even more tasty.” The bracelet ignited, turning into a ball of fire that didn’t seem to bother the monster girl in the slightest.

“And this is my wet bracelet. It sprays me with mist whenever I’m feeling dry or I’m just missing the ocean. Should use some now that I think about it.” A cooling mist sprayed around the girl, moistening her skin. Chiulu stuck a hand out and it did feel genuinely pleasant, and she suddenly felt envious.

“This one’s the ‘bad human’ bracelet!” Ten waved that tentacle devilishly and the bracelet sparked, clearly acting similarly to a taser. “If a human comes after me, or if I see them doing something bad, I’m supposed to use this instead of killing them. They’re trying to get me to use words more to make bad humans stop being bad, but that’s hard. This is easy, just one thwack to the head and they stop whatever they’re doing.”

“And the last one’s my favorite, the tasty bracelet! It shakes out tasty snack flakes. Sometimes I put them on food, and sometimes I just eat them. Uwaahhhh.” The monster girl opened her mouth wide, dangling her tentacle above it as she twisted it, and rain of flakes poured into her maw.

“I see, that’s all very clever,” Chiulu was impressed. “It sounds like you have everything you need, huh. Would you say that you’re living a happy life?”

“Yeah, so happy!” Ten’s enthusiasm and joy practically bubbled out of her. Only to be turned to unbridled despair just minutes later.

“So stinky!” the monster girl clasped her hands in front of her nose at the Skuffalo exhibit. Her eyes started to water and she began to cough and gag.

Chiulu could somewhat smell the monsters as well, but they didn’t seem much worse than regular farm animals—certainly not the overwhelming repulsion that Ten was experiencing, almost like she was allergic.

And it was at that thought that The Bureaucrat could have slapped herself on the head. “Oh right, you have an allergy Curse, don’t you, Ten?” the woman asked, only just now remembering that she had to finish her registration. She’d been so caught up in the fun of the day that she’d entirely forgotten the trip was for business and not for pleasure.

“Mhmm,” Ten whimpered through her cupped hands, between her sharp dagger-like fingers.

“I still have a few questions I still need to ask you if that’s alright,” the woman got back to her work.

“Just get me out of here and I’ll answer whatever you want!” the creature started waddling away, stumbling because of her watery, squinting eyes.

Chiulu grabbed her by the arm and led the way, walking until they were well out of range of the Skuffalos so the monster could breathe properly again. After some pleasant drinks to calm down, they sat in the shade and finished the interview before continuing on with their day.

With that out of the way, there was one place Ten still wanted to visit: the aquarium. Chiulu was unsure at first, whether it would stir up mixed feelings in the monster or make her miss the open ocean, but the girl insisted. They didn’t stay long, however, as Ten couldn’t keep herself from drooling, remembering how each fish and monster tasted.

“Well I need to be heading to work!” Ten announced suddenly as she looked up at the sun’s position in the sky.

“Eh, so you do have a job?” Chiulu was confused since there’d been no real mention of any during the interview, but it was possible the girl had been confused by the word ‘employment’.

“Yeah, I got bunches!” the monster girl seemed far more enthused about working than basically any human The Bureaucrat knew. “Sometimes I work as a crane for destruction, and I do a lot of work for movies, mostly holding props and stuff. But right now I’m the star!”

“You are?” the woman doubted, wondering if she was being lied to or manipulated. “What’s the movie called?”

“Attack of the Mecha Squordfish!” Ten imitated attacking a puny town beneath her, that was actually just a trash can. “I even get to wear a costume!”

“Okay, that does sound very fun!” Chiulu couldn’t deny. “Let me give you a ride and then I can see you in action.”

“Yay, car ride!”

◆Drim◆

“I had a feeling you’d save me for last,” Drim casually sat down in one of the reading chairs in his room, inviting the detective to take the other seat.

“Yes, and I still believe that was for the best,” Tusmon sounded sure of himself. “I wanted to go through all the others—get to know your employees and the lives they live before I spoke with you, their king and leader. And it was the right call.”

“We have our list of official interview questions for the registration that I’m supposed to go through with you, but we can skip all of them. I know so much about you and your life from the media and your own productions that anything I’d ask from the list is stupidly redundant knowledge. But I’ve had a few other things I’ve wanted to ask you.”

“At the start, I had an entire list in my mind ready to go, burning questions I wanted answered, many of them more accusatory than I should admit. Over these few weeks, though, that list has changed more times than I can count. Questions were added and removed, twisted and modified. Things I had never considered became absurdly apparent and oddly confusing.”

“So I had to go back through everything, to figure out what was actually important—what still needed answering. I’m not going to waste your time with anything that’s just my own personal curiosity. And I’m not going to waste my time with another long interview. We’ve already been through so many. I won’t say there weren’t enjoyable times throughout, but I’m ready to be done with this zjik. Chiulu is packing the car as we speak, so we’re about to be out of your hair.”

“I only have one question for you, Drim Drazah. And I’d appreciate an honest answer.”

Drim, he’s trying to use his interrogation eye on you! Eleen screamed in her son’s head. I can block it with my own power, just say the word.

No, it’s fine, Drim silently answered. I have nothing to hide from him.

Tusmon, having heard none of the internal dialogue, continued with his inquiry. “Are you or your organization planning anything that would either harm or negatively impact the lives of innocent civilians?”

Drim’s mouth moved instantly, his lips answering before his brain could even think of either a proper answer or a deception if needed. “No, we’re not. Our intentions are to improve world order and the livelihood of all inhabitants.”

“Then that’s all I need to hear,” Tusmon rose from his seat the very next moment, adjusting his coat and fedora, preparing to depart. “Farewell, Fiendish King. While this is a beautiful part of the world, and your compound and its adjoining city are a genuinely kind and caring community—besides any routine check-ins and new registrations—I hope we never have a reason to return. Please don’t give us one. If your words are true, then I look forward to seeing what you do.”