“Do you smell that, Deborah?” Roque took a deep whiff of the air. “That’s the smell of progress!”

“It smells like dirt to me,” she was unimpressed. “And I still don’t get why I’m here. I can’t imagine things are running well without me back at the compound.”

“What? Kaizu and Bray are covering for you,” Roque reminded her. “Surely the two of them, with decades of administrative work between them, can handle it.”

“No matter how you swing it, I can’t say I’ll ever be comfortable leaving things in the hands of a serial killer and a woman with the brain of a five year-old.”

“Well, there’s nothing to be done about it now,” Roque didn’t share a shred of concern. “And you’re here to be my assistant. All bosses look way more official and boss-like if they have their assistant with them. And you, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders—quick with math and figuring out solutions to any problem.”

“Too bad the Drazahs snatched you up first. If you ever get tired of working for them, I’ll make you my personal assistant for life. Sadly, I know what they’re paying you, and even I would struggle to match that. But do keep it in mind. Now, let’s go waste some money!”

Roque and Deborah had journeyed to the site of the first Fiendish Realty neighborhood—coming soon™. The land had been purchased already, but there were quite a few different levels of bureaucracy preventing them from actually breaking ground. Roque wasn’t such a patient person as to allow silly things like laws and power-tripping committees stand between him and his goals.

“Good morning, ladies and gentleman!” Roque addressed the hundreds of workers waiting to begin construction on his word. “I’m pleased to see you all here bright and early on this fine day. I hope you found your accommodations last night amenable.”

Since they were building the community outside of any major towns, and wanted to be as discreet as possible, Roque had bought rooms for them all at the closest hotel where they’d stay for the duration of the project. He’d also provided the various companies additional money for meal stipends while also providing catering during work hours. If there was any complaint that the workers would have, he wanted to cut it off before it became a problem.

“So while we’re hoping for a quick turnaround on this project,” Roque continued, “be sure to take your time as well. Do everything properly, and don’t cut corners. Labor cost isn’t an issue, and you’ll be well compensated for work. So if we have to go beyond our estimated completion date, that’s perfectly fine.”

“Also, we’ve procured some of the finest and most bizarrely expensive building materials we could find. It’s good quality stuff that no sane construction company would actually use if they were trying to keep costs down. While we can always replace it, I hope that you’ll respect the goods and use it to create the best buildings you can.”

“Additionally, as an incentive for you all to work hard. The top five workers, as reported by your foreman here, will receive homes in this new community entirely for free. No mortgage, all fees paid, and taxes covered for the next century. That’s the Personson guarantee.”

“But don’t worry if you’re not one of those selected. Any who see the project through to the end, and wish to move here as well, will have homes sold to them dirt cheap. Hell, I’d even be fine with you taking a home in lieu of pay for this project if you want. There will be plenty of homes to go around. I hope this motivates you all to put in your best effort since they may very well become your own homes.”

“I’ll let you all get to work here in a minute, but I just want to give a bit of a heads-up. Things may start to get noisy around here, and I don’t mean all the tools and hammering. Whatever you hear, it’s not your concern. Just keep doing your jobs and everything will be fine.”

“Deborah and I will be here for the next few days to handle any problems that arise. We expect the bulk of the issues to be cleared up by then. From there, the foreman will be in charge. But if there’s a problem that you all can’t solve, don’t hesitate to call, day or night, and someone will be there to resolve it within the next few hours. Good luck everyone. I look forward to seeing what you create.”

The workers eagerly rushed to start working the moment the foreman gave the signal. Hopefully, Roque’s motivational boost would carry their high spirits to the end. It was still early in the morning—too early for anyone to be a busybody yet since the sun itself was still waking up.

In the meantime, Roque summoned his cottage in such a way as to block the main entrance entirely from the outside world—to serve as a front office and a barrier to entry. Materials were still being delivered, but all those drivers had been instructed to take a back road that wouldn’t be on any maps or navigation apps, so the work should remain unimpeded.

Roque and Deborah headed inside to get some work done. Deborah really wanted to check on things in her absence while Roque resumed his usual business shenaniganry. But they didn’t have long to work until their first guest of the day came knocking. Surprisingly, it wasn’t who they expected—just a friendly, if not somewhat nosy, farmer driving by on their tractor.

Their next visitor came soon after, a bit earlier than their estimations. Maybe that farmer had spread the word about the project and had purposefully or inadvertently started a chain reaction that tipped off those with authority. The knocks this time were a bit more persistent and unceasing. Roque almost got hit by the woman’s continuous raps when he flung open the door to greet her.

“Greetings madam. I hope you’re having a pleasant day. How can we help you? Would you care to come in for a cup of coffee?”

His persistent niceties seemed to have thrown her off a bit, quelling some of her surface-level rage, so it took her a moment to get worked up again. “I am one of the operating officers for the Building Safety & Permits Division. My clerk has just informed me that you have started construction without a permit. You must shut down this operation at once!”

“So give us one.”

“What?!”

“So give us a permit,” Roque’s face was bold and his eyes were unyielding.

“We can’t just give you a permit!” she was practically dumbfounded by his brashness. “You have to submit a request through the proper channels, fill in the appropriate forms, and pay the fees!”

“Okay, we did that already. So where’s my permit?” Roque held out his hands like a greedy child, turning the defense back on her.

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“Huh?” she took a step back and rattled her brain. “This is the first I’m hearing about any construction project for this area. When did you submit it?!”

“Hmm,” now it was Roque’s turn to think. “Last week sometime. Deborah, what was the exact date and time?”

Deborah rushed to the door with a tablet in hand, already having their submission loaded up on it. “Here you can see our official submission and the timestamp. You can also clearly see that we listed today as the start date of our construction.” She swiped, “And here you can see the response from your clerk exactly 47 minutes later acknowledging receipt and pre-approval of the project.”

“Well… that was just a few days ago!” the woman was getting worked up again. “You can’t expect us to complete the permit that quickly. We have a lot to get through and our staff is overworked. These things take time! And that doesn’t give you an excuse to circumvent the law!”

“Madam… we understand completely.” Roque grabbed her hands and cupped them between his own. He then stared deeply into her eyes until he had her undivided attention. Suddenly, his light touch turned to a rough grip, and his diamond-colored irises began to dilate.

“But we will not let the inefficiencies of your office halt our own progress!” He suddenly let his grip go and she stumbled back a few steps. “Moan all you want, but you won’t get anywhere. If you come back again, it better be with the police or with my permit in hand. Good day!” He slammed the door in her face.

They didn’t receive any more visitors until well into the morning, after the two had been able to enjoy a nice breakfast—blasting some classical music in order to drown out the bustling noise outside. Their next visitor was actually a group of them, in fact.

“Greetings, we are the Zoning Committee of Radid County,” one of the five introduced the group.

“Oh wow, I’m surprised all of you came.” Even Roque had to admire their tenacity.

“Yes, we here at the Zoning Committee of Radid County take our responsibilities quite seriously. When we received word from the permit office, who must be chastised for even letting it get to this point, we headed over as soon as we were physically able.”

“Now, as chairman, it is my responsibility to inform you that you are in violation of article 43-B of the Zoning Committee charter. This land is not zoned for residential housing.”

“Well, it’s actually not going to be just housing,” Roque clarified. “There’s also going to be a shopping center, grocery megaplex, several restaurants, movie theater, minigolf course, rec center, more I’m forgetting, and so on.”

“Hmm…” the chairman grumbled. “That actually complicates the matter even more so, but also makes them somewhat simpler. It would be harder to pass, but we can zone the entire area as a multipurpose area. It means that the area would only need to pass approval once, instead of multiple times for each sector.”

“What’s it currently zoned as now?” Roque was curious.

“Uninhabitable swamp.”

“Swamp?” Roque looked around. “But it’s dry…”

“Yes, well, this area did indeed used to be a swamp several centuries ago, but the landscape has changed considerably. It has never been voted on again, since no one has ever wanted to do anything with it.”

“And uninhabitable you say…” Roque wanted to touch on all points.

“Indeed,” the chairman nodded his head. “It’s unfit and unsafe for humans, at least as of our last survey.”

“But I’m currently inhabiting it right now. As are you. And we all seem to be doing just fine.”

“Hmm, a fair point,” the chairman couldn’t disagree. “We will take that into consideration during our next vote, assuming that you put in an official request for a zoning change. You would need to fill out forms 39.91 through 46.18 and submit them to our office. We receive the pink and orange copies, while the yellow copy must go to the mayor’s office, and the green copy must go to the city planner’s office. All copies must be delivered in person. We do not accept anything digitally or through the postal system.”

“And once I’ve filed, how long would that take?” Roque was losing interest, but he’d still humor the man.

“Well, it would first need to pass the preliminary selection process. We take a few from the stack every monthly meeting to vote on them. Then, those that have passed the preliminary voting will all be voted on at the annual rezoning meeting. The last annual zoning meeting was two months ago, so it would be another seven months at the earliest for this zoning selection to be changed, assuming it ever gets picked and passes a preliminary before then.”

“Then, those that are approved go through the approval process which takes six months since we want to make sure that no further issues arise. That gives a grand total of a measly thirteen months and hope that everything works out in your favor. However, because of your misconduct, a fine of $10,000 commons will need to be paid before we can consider your proposal.”

Once the man was done, Roque broke. He couldn’t hold back his laughter any longer and snickered wildly in the man’s face. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he tried to collect himself with some deep breaths. “It’s so Cosdamned funny that you think I care. Deborah…” another laughing fit was coming. “Find a way to appease these simpletons, would you?”

“Of course,” Deborah adjusted her glasses and then stepped forward. “Per bylaw 414-S8 of the Zoning Committee of Radid County: In the event of an emergency, a spontaneous vote may be held to rezone any territory within Radid County, and the zoning restructure would take place effective immediately. The vote must pass by majority.”

“Puh puh puh puh!” The chairman bumbled with bluster. “That bylaw has only ever been enacted once in the entire history of the committee during the great retail crisis of 1874! And to constitute this situation as an emergency would be outright nonsensical! To allow the bylaw to occur under my watch would be wholly unacceptable!”

“Well, it’s not just up to you, is it?” Roque was back with a devilish grin. “You heard her right? Majority vote! That means only three of the five of you need to vote in favor. Lucky for me!”

“Fufufufah!” It was the chairman’s turn to laugh. “To think that any one of us would ever break our sacred duty to the committee and entertain this farce. Oh, how amusing.”

“Well, let’s see if your pride can’t be bought?” Roque’s grin only grew. “What was that fee again, $10,000 commons? Sure, that’s no problem for me. In fact, if three of you vote for rezoning right here, right now, I’ll give you each $10,000 commons immediately!”

There were a few whispers behind the chairman, which caused him to turn in surprise—baffled that there could possibly be any dissension, and for a bribe at that.

“Oh, let me make it even sweeter. I really dislike this one,” Roque started pointing to the chairman with both hands repeatedly. I only need three, but if the remaining four of you all vote in favor, I’ll quadruple it to $40,000 commons each—directly into your bank accounts minutes from now. I can even show you proof of the money if you like.”

The whispers grew in ferocity. “But this offer won’t last forever. In fact it won’t last 10 seconds from now. So, I’m going to call a vote. All in favor?!”

“Aye” “Aye” “Aye” “Aye”

“Splendid!” Roque clapped his hands together. “Deborah, please get the banking information from these sensible Committee members and see the money transferred at once. As for you my fine fair-weather fellow… farewell!” He waved away the chairman who stomped off in huff but then called after him. “Have fun dealing with the bureaucracy you love so much. I expect to receive notice of the rezoning soon—today, if you’d please!”

“Brilliant, Deborah! Absolutely brilliant,” Roque wouldn’t stop singing her praises for a while. “Even I didn’t know about that bylaw. He looked like you kicked a cat when you brought it up. Great work. I thought I was going to have to resort to some underhanded tactics there.”

“You wouldn’t classify that as underhanded?” Deborah asked rhetorically as she got absorbed back into her work.

“Heh, they all left with all their belongings, didn’t they?”